Ch 43

River's promise of keeping in touch didn't exactly pan out. She hadn't answered any phone calls from anyone including Bobby and Castiel for almost three weeks. It had been several days since she had responded to one of Dean's texts and he was worried about her. He'd even considered trying to get Gabriel on the prayer line to track her down. In the end Sam had convinced him she was ok and just laying low somewhere. So Dean and Sam went about their lives, hunting things, saving a few people and waiting for Castiel to find out more information on the supposed surviving Colt or to sniff out God. Both endeavors were going nowhere fast for the Angel and the Hunters.

The Winchesters had no shortage of strange cases to keep themselves occupied. They'd dealt with a pagan goddess that took the form of a popular heiress, the possible Antichrist which was an 11 year old boy that escaped to Australia and a slew of salt and burns just for the hell of it. This particular night found the brothers driving down a rain soaked highway in Indiana. The deluge of rain was Biblical. The Impala wasn't so much driving down the dark two lane highway as it was floating. "Son of a bitch…I'm gonna pull over before we spin out." Dean grumbled. He sat with his chest pushed up against the steering wheel his green eyes focused on the pitch black road in front of his car.

"Wait. I think…yeah I see lights up ahead. Maybe it's a gas station or something." Sam told him pointing to a faint glow behind a crop of drowning trees. Dean cursed again and inched his car forwards. 'The Elysian Fields' Hotel swam into view as they rounded another flooded curve in the road. Dean parked the Impala as close to the front door as possible which wasn't easy since almost every parking spot was full in the small lot. The brothers grabbed their duffle bags from the back seat and ran to the front doors. They were completely soaked by the freezing rain in the few seconds it took them to race inside. The front lobby of the posh hotel was brightly lit, a roaring fire in an ornate stone fireplace crackled on corner. A dozen or so patrons milled about the retro mod lobby, some lounging on a huge comfortable looking couch, others sipping hip neon colored drinks at the hotel bar.

"Wow, nice digs for once." Dean said happily to his brother. Sam nodded as they walked towards the highly glossed check-in desk. A tall, thin man stood in front of a computer, fingers flying across the keyboard as he checked in a couple that was seemingly attached at the lips.

"Enjoy your stay Mr. and Mrs. Logan. And congratulations on behalf of 'The Elysian Fields' staff," the desk clerk handed a plastic key ring to Mr. Logan, who didn't bother disengaging from Mrs. Logan as they walked away from the desk and towards the guest rooms down a long hallway. "Next." The man called jovially to Sam and Dean waving them forwards. "Good evening, gentlemen and welcome to The Elysian Fields. I'm Chet. How may I help you?" He smiled widely and radiated a definite creeper vibe.

"One room, two beds, one-" Dean said handing over a fake credit card. He'd been saving this card for a special occasion. Chet took the card, swiped it through a machine on the desk next to him and handed it back to Dean faster than the hunter could finish his sentence. "…night." Dean took the card back and shook his head.

"Sir, excuse me but it looks like you nicked yourself shaving," Chet pulled a tissue from one of his pockets and pointed to a small cut on Dean's neck.

Dean took the tissue and pressed it along his jaw line, "Thanks." He muttered looking at the drop of blood that collected on the white tissue paper. "Umm.. is there a coffee shop here?"

Chet gave another wide grin, "Even better! All you can eat buffet, free to all paying guests. Best pie in the tristate area if I do say so myself!"

Dean broke into an actual smile, "Pie?"

"Yes, sir. Right past the bar. Can't miss it!" Chet said handing Dean a red key ring. The brothers nodded in thanks and headed towards the food. 'All you can eat buffet' brought to mind metal trays of stale, dried macaroni and cheese or anonymous lumps of stuff that could barely be considered food. Stuff Sam and Dean had grown up on, filling plate after plate never knowing when they might get to eat again especially if their father had a 'job' that would keep him gone for long stretches. So Dean was beyond surprised when they entered a lavish dining room overflowing with platters of gourmet food. Fresh cut prime rib, shrimp, roasted vegetables and an entire table covered in fresh baked pies, cakes and cookies. Dean was almost giddy, balancing two white porcelain plates and picking slice after slice of the different pies. After weeks of greasy burgers and vending machine crap, an actual home cooked meal was as near to heaven as he wanted to get. He choose one last chocolate chip cookie, squeezing it between a slice of banana cream and double mocha fudge pie and headed towards the table Sam had staked out for them. Dean's eyes were drawn to a beautiful woman sitting alone. Her skin was smooth, flawless and the deep color of sunbaked Saharan sand. She lazily stirred her Cosmo seemingly completely disinterested in everything and everyone around her. "Hi, I'm-" Dean said pausing at her table.

"No," she cut him off.

Dean shifted his plates of food. "What? No, I just-"

"No," she repeated not looking up from her drink.

He was a little rusty but come on. "I uh…"

"I said No." She finally turned her deep tawny eyes towards Dean.

Dean smiled nervously, he knew the difference between persistent and douchebag. "Got it. 10-4." He walked away with the rest of his pride and sat across from his brother. Sam was checking the settings on his phone. He couldn't get any reception in the hotel to check his messages or email. "Unpucker, Sammy and eat something before they run our credit card again and realize Mr. I.P Freely doesn't make $200,000 a year."

"We should hit the road, Dean." Sam sighed as his phone beeped insolently.

Dean shook his head and took a large bite of pie, "In this rain? Come on it's like-"

"Noah's arc out there? I know. I mean come on look at this place; Dean when have we ever stayed at a place as lush as this?" Sam asked quietly. "What the hell is this place even doing in the middle of nowhere?"

Dean shoveled another forkful of chocolate pie into his mouth, "I don't know. I don't care at the moment. I want some pie, I want some sleep and I want the weather to clear up before we try driving again, ok? I'd rather not wind up as road splatter waiting for Michael or Lucifer to turn us into skin suits. Can we just enjoy our night off?"

Sam nodded, "Yeah. Ok." They finished their meal in near silence and left the dining room after Dean ate his body weight in baked goods. The brothers followed the metal signs on the walls until they found the wing their assigned room was on. The honeymooning couple Mr. and Mrs. Logan were busy making out in the hallway, their bucket of ice forgotten and overturned on the floor next to their feet. Dean stopped and smirked at the amorous couple, Mrs. Logan pushing her new husband into the door with the force of her affection. "Need you baby," she murmured into his mouth. Mr. Logan reached behind him and opened the door, the two tumbled into the room slamming the door shut after them. "What are you twelve?" Sam muttered rolling his eyes at his older brother as they entered their own room.

Dean whistled in appreciation. Two beds covered in lush red bedding lay side by side in the enormous room. A giant flat screened TV was mounted on one bricked wall, high end Warhol-esque paintings lined another, the carpet was soft and thick. All in all definitely not the type of place the Winchesters would ever stay at on a normal night. "Chocolates!" Dean hooted excitedly, snatching up a gold wrapped candy off one of the pillows. He deftly unwrapped the sweet morsel and tucked it into his mouth. "And Casa Erotica 13 on demand? Man we scored on this place!"

Sam sighed and shuffled his feet, "Dean doesn't this place just seem….way above what it should be? A four star hotel on a no star highway?" He was interrupted with the loud sounds of love making and bed thumping started from next door. The brothers eyes met and they broke into wide grins. The rhythmic thumps increased causing Dean to laugh like a prepubescent man-child. The TV shuddered on the wall from a particularly hearty thrust from the room next door and the brothers watched it wobble on it's mount. Another thrust and the bricks shifted, dusting the snow white carpet in red dust. The Winchesters spared a glance at the wall before running towards the door. One sturdy shoulder into the door frame and Sam knocked the cheap locking mechanism loose.

"Everything ok in here?" The brothers found the room abandoned. The bed still a post coital mess, sheets and blankets in disarray, the faint smell of sweat still in the air. "Where the hell did they go?" Sam muttered quickly checking the closet and bathroom. Dean shrugged and investigate the area on and around the bed for any clues as to where the honeymooners went and in what shape. "Nothin' man." Sam said turning the lights off in the mirror lined bathroom. In the dim light Dean saw a glint in the high shag carpet, he bent down and retrieved a gold wedding band with a huge princess cut diamond.

"Well there goes our night off," Dean said. They left the suite and returned to the front desk.

Chet was busily tapping away at his keyboard and gave them a toothy grin when they ambled up to the front desk, "Yes, gentlemen. How can I help you?"

"The Logans, do you know where they went?" Sam asked.

"The newly weds?" Chet clarified. Sam and Dean gave him a quick nod of their heads. He quickly typed something into the computer, "They checked out. Just now." He said smiling again.

Dean's eyebrows shot up, "Huh. Weird they'd forget something like this." He held up the diamond wedding band for Chet to see.

"Oh my….I will put that directly into the lost and found," Chet snatched the ring out of Deans fingers. "Is there anything else I can assist you with?"

"Uh no. We're good," Dean told him.

"Super-fantastic." Chet went back to tapping away at his computer. The brothers stepped away from the desk and shared a concerned look.

"Creepy," Sam muttered under his breath.

Dean nodded, "Ya think? You follow Norman Bates. I'll scope the rest of the place out…one night off is that too much to ask?" Dean vented heading back to their room for some equipment. Sam went to the bar to and tried to seem nonchalant while watching Chet's every move. He was about to give up that Chet would ever leave his station at the front desk when suddenly the uniformed man hurried away from the computer and down a quiet hallway. The long legged hunter followed Chet as closely as he dared. The man's red uniform disappeared around a corner and Sam picked up his pace. The hallway dead-ended into a vending machine, Sam turned in a circle unsure how Chet managed to slip past him. He let out a frustrated breath then jumped when he felt a sharp pain on his neck. His fingers came away bloody and he wondered if he'd been bit by something.

Dean started on the top floor of the hotel and worked his way up and down the long hallways, EMF detector held out in front of him. So far he was getting no abnormal readings. He focused on the green lights of his EMF detector as he made his way past several closed doors. His peripheral vision caught a glimpse of an enormous, long trunked, white tusked elephant…elephant? "What the hell?" Dean thought to himself, he turned towards the open door and saw a short, pudgy Black man wrapping a towel around his waist. "Hey man! This ain't a peep show!" the man yelled slamming the door shut in Dean's face. The hunter shook his head trying to clear his thoughts, obviously he had been mistaken about Dumbo right? Sensing that what ever might be going on at the hotel wasn't going to show up on EMF he headed back to the main lobby. The elevator door 'dinged' open and Dean walked into the empty lobby just as Sam walked out from a dim hallway. "Where is everyone?" Sam asked noticing the empty bar and forgotten cocktails. He walked towards the front doors to check the parking lot but of course the doors were locked.

"Lemme guess: locked." Dean said. "So this like is the roach motel. We check in but don't check out?"

Sam shook his shaggy hair in annoyance, "I knew it….Think about how we got here, Dean. The detour on I-90. The hurricane?"

"You think we were led here?" Dean asked, thinking every damn time they think they get a break it turns out to be some god damned trap.

"Rats in a maze, Dean."

"Shit…there's gotta be an emergency exit or something." The elder Winchester cursed heading back towards the dining area. He had seen waiters coming and going through a set of double doors in the back and hoped there would be an employee exit of some sort that was forgotten by whom ever had trapped them. Dean knew it was wishful thinking that they could escape unscathed through a back exit but he had to try something instead of standing idly by, waiting for whatever bad thing had led him and his brother to The Elysian Fields. The kitchen was also empty of any other patrons or employees, the sink brimming with unwashed dishes and a huge pot of bubbling red stew was on the lit stove. "Please be tomato soup," Dean prayed. He grabbed a soup ladle that lay on the stainless steel counter and fished around the murky concoction. It was definitely not tomato soup. Boiled human eyeballs and a finger floated to the top. Dean dropped the ladle with a disgusted grunt. "Motel Hell. We're in Motel Hell. Great."

"Yeah, well next time I want to get back in the car and keep driving. Lets get back in the car and keep driving!" Sam harped at this older brother.

"One night. All I want is one night off. Eat something that doesn't come out of a vending machine, watch some porn, get a solid five hours of sleep. It's not too much to ask!" Dean yelled back. Their bickering was cut short by frantic pounds coming from the deep freezer in the back of the kitchen.

Sam reached the door first and pulled at the latch, a thick padlock had been secured through the ring at the top of the door. Frightened cries echoed from within the freezer. "Hey! Hey in there its ok, we'll get you out!" he yelled pulling out the leather pouch that held his lock pick kit.

"Hurry up, Sammy." Dean grumbled.

"Shut up, Dean. I am hurrying-" Sam spared an annoyed look over his shoulder and froze. Two large men were standing behind his oblivious brother.

Dean saw the startled look that crossed Sam's face, the hunters muscles tightening in anticipation of an attack. "There's someone standing behind me isn't there?" He sighed. Sam gave him a quick nod. The brothers fought and quickly lost against the two men and were unceremoniously hauled back into the dining room. The various tables and chairs had been replaced by one large, ornate meeting table in the center of the room. Nearly twenty people of various sex, age, and race sat patiently around the table. Chet, who had removed his previous name badge and was wearing a sticker with "Hello My Name is- Mercury", was buzzing between people handing out similar stickers. The brothers eyes roamed over the name badges they could see. The man Dean had startled upstairs was now fully dressed and wearing a sticker that read "Ganesh". The exotically beautiful woman that had shot down Dean's half-hearted attempts at flirtation was now identified as "Kali. An older, noble looking gentlemen with fair skin and stark white hair was identified as "Odin". Mercury finished handing out stickers and rushed out of the room. "What the…Odin? Kali? Baron Samedi? River….River was gonna summon that guy…what the shit Sam?" Dean muttered out of the corner of his mouth. "Is this like a kinky role play thing?"

Sam shot his brother a bitch face, "A kinky role play thing, Dean?"

Mercury swooped back into the room, pushing a metal dining cart in front of him, "Ladies and Gentlemen! Dinner is served!" He removed the silver domed cover and bowed graciously to the applause that broke out. A mans severed head lay in a mixed pile of various organs and body parts. Several people moved towards the macabre meal and piled pieces of human flesh onto their dinner plates.

A tall, dark haired man called attention to the crowd by clinking a fork on his flute of champagne, "Before we indulge in tonight's most delicious meal may I request we call the meeting to order now that our very distinguished guests have arrived." A spotlight turned on from somewhere in the high ceiling and shone directly onto the Winchesters. A thin sheen of sweat broke out on Dean's forehead as he and his brother were forced down into two plush chairs at the head of the long table. "Now in all my centuries I never would have imagined seeing this many gods under one roof," the man, Baldur according to his name tag, smiled and dipped his head respectfully to the men and women gathered around the table.

Sam's eyes widened and he looked to brother mouthing, "Gods?!" Dean shrugged helplessly and looked back at the people holding them hostage. He was quickly racking his brain for every morsel of information he had collected on some of the more well known deities, namely how to kill them.

"Before we get down to brass tacks, lets discuss ground rules: No slaughtering each other. This Hotel is our sanctuary, we are allies while on these grounds. Also, keep your hands off the local virgins. We are trying to keep a low profile." Baldur gave another slick smile. "Now as you all now the Judeo-Christian Apocalypse looms over us. Angels and Demons have been battling all over the planet for months. We have already had casualties of our own, Hebat, Elta, Leshii…Struck down for attempting to protect their homeland, their way of life." Baldur dipped his head in apparent sorrow. Sam and Dean shared a worried look remembering they were in fact the ones that killed the Pagan Goddess Leshii. "What their deaths should show us is that individually we are not strong enough to fight alone. We must put our petty differences aside and join in camaraderie, stand as one against the Archangels and their warriors." He gave the gods and goddesses sitting around the table a stern look before letting his round brandy colored eyes settle on the Winchesters. "We have with us tonight two very valuable bargaining chips," he waived a pale hand towards them, "May I introduce Lucifer and Michael's vessels. So the question is what do we do now? Please, friends, speak up if you have any ideas. This is a safe place."

Several gods started speaking, some not in English but apparently understood by all. One man yelled loudly in Mandarin, slamming his fist on the table to emphasize each word. "I don't like his tone," Dean muttered nervously to his brother.

"Why waste our time killing them? The Angels will just bring them back. And draw unnecessary attention to all of us," Baron Samedi's voice wheezed out across the table.

The older, white haired man, Odin, laughed jovially. "Why are you all so concerned? These feathered veslingrs are having a silly little slap fight. We all know the world isn't going to end until the great serpent Jormungandr rises up and I myself am eaten by the giant wolf." More arguing broke out after Odin's assertions.

"What makes your belief system so much better than mine?" Wala, an aboriginal goddess yelled across the room at the Viking. Odin muttered something in Norse and Wala threw her wine glass at him. Chairs were pushed back as gods and goddesses stood up forgetting Baldurs plea for peace. The brothers took this opportunity to try and sneak away from the brewing skirmish. They made it a half step away from their chairs before a giant, crystalline chandelier fell at their feet. The bickering at the table behind them stopped.

"Stay," a quiet, firm voice told them. The brothers turned back around and saw Kali standing with her tanned arms crossed over her red silk blouse. "We have to fight. The only thing the Archangels understand is violence. This ends in blood. Ours or theirs. There is no other way."

"Mistress, we haven't even tried talking to them. Maybe we could reason with the Angels, find common ground." Mercury spoke up. Kali turned her obsidian eyes towards him, whatever power she wielded caused the messenger god to cough and splutter up blood. Several of the other deities straightened up nervously in their seats.

The dining room doors flew open, the bright stage light swung towards it and from some unseen sound system an upbeat drum roll sounded. Kali released her grip on Mercury and the god slumped back in his chair. "Can't we all just get along?" Gabriel's disembodied voice sung down the empty corridor. The Archangel entered a moment later, his golden hair and whiskey colored eyes glinting in the spotlight.

"Ga-" Sam started incredulously. Gabriel waived a hand and Sam's voice was choked off. Dean tried speaking but found his voice had mysteriously disappeared as well.

The Archangel strode up to the brothers, clasping them around the shoulders hard enough to make the taller men stumble back, "You two! It's always wrong place, worse time."

Baldur's tight voice called out, "Loki what in Valhalla are doing here?" Gabriel smiled and winked at the Winchesters as he pushed past them.

"Baldur, hey there buddy. I heard about this shindig from a friend of a friend and I figured my invite must been lost in the inter-pantheon mail."

"What do you want Trickster?" Kali growled frustrated at his antics.

Gabriel turned his attention to the goddess, "I'm here to talk about the elephant in the room." Ganesh let out a disgruntled, "Hey!". "Not you…" he pointed at the elephant headed god without taking his eyes off Kali. "The Apocalypse geniuses. We can't stop it….but first things first. The adults need to have a conversation." The trickster Angel snapped his fingers and suddenly Dean and Sam found themselves back in their hotel room.

"Holy shit! Holy shit, dude. We are so dead," Dean yelled at his brother.

"We are not dead. Not yet anyways. What's our next move?" Sam asked pacing the room.

Dean shrugged, "I don't know…save those poor jerks in the freezer. Maybe gank a few of those mooks out there before they eat our faces, if we're lucky."

"Since when are you two hamburglars ever lucky?" Gabriel chided appearing on the loveseat in front of the fireplace.

"Oh you know what bite me Gabriel!" Dean huffed annoyed.

Gabriel laughed, "Maybe later big boy."

"We should've known, this hand your stink all over it," Dean muttered.

"You think I set this up? Ha! I'm Leia to your Han. I'm here to save your Nerf herding asses," Gabriel said standing.

"You're gonna save us? You threw us in TV hell and told us to play our roles and now you want to get us the hell out of here?" Dean asked.

"Look, Lucifer will slaughter them. All of them, Baldur, Odin, Kali-he will turn them into finger paint. Armageddon is going to happen boys, its just not gonna happen tonight. You two are getting the hell outta here before those desperate idiots ring the dinner bell." he said.

"Fine but we're taking the people popsicles they got stashed in the deep freeze with us," Sam said.

Gabriel clicked his tongue, "Yeah…no I don't think so Pixie Stick. It's gonna be hard enough getting you two adult diapers out of here."

"Wait…they called you Loki. They don't even know who you really are. Maybe we just go out there and tell them they got an Archangel hiding in a Norse-god meat suit." Dean said smiling.

"I'll take your voices. You can't say my name if I don't let you. Just ask River, she couldn't get the first syllable out."

"Then we'll write it down," Dean told him.

"Then I'll cut your hands off."

Deans smile broadened, "Well don't you think that would raise a few eyebrows? Those goons out there might start wondering why we're walking around mute and missing our hands."

"Damn it, fine. Fine! Always got make it so damn difficult…." Gabriel muttered patting his jacket pockets, "Shit pickles….where'd I leave that thing…."

Sam rolled his eyes, "Lose something?"

"No, I didn't lose it I just forgot…Where the piss is it…oh! Be right back," Gabriel snapped his fingers and disappeared.

"Son of a bitch," Dean muttered.

Gabriel returned a moment later with a very pissed of red head in tow. River was switching between yelling in English and Enochian while pelting Gabriel with popcorn from a huge bucket she had tucked against one hip. "YOU CAN NOT JUST KIDNAP ME ANYMORE YOU VGEG DAZIS!"

Gabriel laughed and deflected her popcorn missiles, "Stupid head? That's the best you can come up with?"

"Screw you, Gabe. You can not just pop in unannounced. I was on a fucking date!" River shouted turning away from the Angel. She was wearing retro red and blue 3-D glasses and wearing a tank top that read "My Patronus is Godzilla". The arm that was cradling the enormous bucket of popcorn was wrapped in a bright pink cast. Her mouth snapped shut when she laid eyes on the Winchesters, her face and chest instantly turning the same color as the fiberglass on her arm. She pulled the glasses off and tucked them in a pocket of her jeans. "What the shit is this? First you have Cas grab me and now you send Gabriel after me?"

"What? I did not-" Dean started defensively, "You were on a date?" River sighed, rolled her eyes and handed the bucket of popcorn to Sam. Sam shot his brother a look, his eyebrows hiding under his long mane of hair and a sarcastic smile tugging the corners of his lips.

"I need my bug out bag, Lemon Drop." Gabriel said pointing at the brown messenger bag River had slung across her shoulder.

"Yeah, well I need a drink," she countered handing the bag over. "Shit…wait my phone," she muttered digging through the bag until she found her ringing phone. Gabriel took the bag and handed over a clear glass bottle with bright blue label. "Zima? Are you shitting me right now?" she took a swig of the clear malt beverage, grimaced at the overly sweet tangy flavor and handed the bottle back to Gabriel. The Archangel shrugged his shoulders and finished the drink while River answered her phone. " No, Ed…Ed I'm fine. I'm good…I told you sometimes I might just disappear. I don't need you to 'storm the castle' or anything…It's from 'The Princess Bride'. You've never seen 'The Princess Bride'? You know there's other movies out there that don't star Kevin Costner….I'm the one that wanted to drive all the way to Austin for the movie fest. I am not ditching you…." she remained silent for a few minutes, nodding her head and listening to the man on the other line. Dean's green eyes were boring into the back of her head and she finally turned to face him. "What?" she mouthed. Her blue eyes narrowed, her lips disappearing into a thin line, she was apparently not happy with whatever she had just heard. "Ed, I have no idea what 'friend-zoning' means. Maybe you could explain it to me like I'm a five year old that rides the short bus." She put her casted hand on her hip and Dean instantly felt sorry for who ever she was talking to on the other line.

Even Gabriel whispered, "Uh oh."

"So give me just a minute here, Ed. It's been a while since I've had to translate neckbeard. It sounds like your trying to say because we've been on three dates I somehow owe you an all access pass to my pussy or at the very least a blowjob?…Wow. And you know what? I was wearing cute underwear tonight just in case but now you can consider my vagina a no fly zone….jabroni." She slammed the flip phone shut and jammed it back into her pocket.

"You're welcome, " Gabriel told her.

"Shut up," River muttered angrily. "I was seriously considering getting naked with him, Gabe. I bought special underwear. What the fuck is wrong is me?"

"Nothing is wrong with you, Lollipop," Gabriel muttered distractedly. He was chugging the bottle of Tab he had stashed in the bag and was tucking a few Magnum condoms into his back pocket.

"Who the hell was that?" Sam asked trying not laugh.

River ran her fingers down her pale face and let out a loud sigh, "Ed Zeddmore."

Sam lost the battle with his laughter and doubled over. "Shut up, Sam." River grumbled, the embarrassed pink tinge returning to her cheeks.

"Ed…Zeddmore? The cheesehead Ghostfacer guy? You've been dating that loser?" Dean demanded.

"I have not been 'dating' him. We went out on a couple dates thats all," River replied.

"Thats the thing you had in Texas? Ed? When do you have time for dating between hunting and pole dancing?" Dean snarked.

River's eyebrows pulled together and she narrowed her blue eyes at Dean, "I've been mostly doing lap dances actually. They pay better and it's kind of hard to hold on to the pole with only one hand." She waived her bright pink arm at him sassing him right back. Dean grunted and insolently tucked his hands into his jacket pockets. "What the hell is going on around here? Why are we here? And where is here exactly?" she finally said turning back to Gabriel.

"We are at a hotel in the middle of a cornfield in Indiana. You're here because I needed my stuff. They're here because…some acquaintances of mine thought it would be a good idea to use them as a carrot for my brothers," Gabriel told her.

"What the hell does that mean?"

"There's about two dozen gods and goddesses out there that are planning on summoning Lucifer and Michael here and handing us over," Sam answered.

River sucked in a quick breath, "Lucifer? And Michael? Here? Then why the hell are we still here, Gabe."

"Because I can't get them out. Not yet. Kali trapped them with a blood spell."

"Kali? Kali the destroyer, four arms, belt made out of decapitated human heads? Your ex-girlfriend Kali? That Kali?" River clarified. Gabriel nodded. "Great, this night keeps getting better and better. How are we gonna get their blood back?"

"Leave that up to me kids. Gonna turn on the ol' Trickster Charm…You know pink is really not your color sugar cookie," Gabriel said. He touched her forehead and the cast crumbled off her arm. River rotated her wrist now free from the confines of the itchy cast and the Archangel disappeared.

Dean's jaw tightened and River saw a muscle twitch in his neck. "You got something to say, Winchester?"

Dean sighed, swallowing back another snarky comment. "What happened to your arm?"

River shrugged her shoulders and sat on the vacated loveseat, "I fell out a window."

"You fell out a window?" Dean repeated sitting next to her. Sam ate a handful of popcorn then checked the contents of Gabriels bag. All that was left was the two pound bag of peanut M&M's, a few spare condoms and an action figure.

"I was thrown out a window by a pissed of Chindi," she sighed. "Ed and Harry had a case. I needed a break from…everything. They were fucking around with their camera settings and the ghosty got the jump on me. It was a second story window and at least my fall was broken by the hood of my car." She gave Dean a half smile, he didn't smile back. "It was lights out for a couple of days at the hospital, when I came to I had the Pretty in Pink cast from neon hell and a major fucking headache. I checked myself out of the hospital and had to go back and finish the Chindi because Ed and Harry ran away when the bitch threw me out the window." She picked at piece of lint on her Godzilla shirt. "And then I got this really bad pain in my stomach and had to go back to the hospital. I apparently had appendicitis," she lifted her shirt and showed Dean the healing incision on her lower stomach, " and had to go into emergency surgery. So there was another week gone. And then I got released from the hospital again and I was under explicit instructions of no heavy lifting, running, 'working' for at least six weeks. Ed let me crash at his place while I recuperated."

"Shit, why didn't you call me? Or at least have one of those assclowns call me? I've been worried sick," Dean muttered.

River shrugged her shoulders again. "I don't know. I just…You're kind of sending me mixed signals here Winchester. You tell me to lose your number. You don't want to hear my side…Then I can't seem to shake you. Every time I think I got my shit together there you are," she murmured.

Dean let out a long breath and sat back in the loveseat, "Yeah, well I'm an asshole."

She smiled, "Yeah you kind of are." They lapsed into an awkward silence waiting for Gabriel to return.

"So three dates huh?" Dean finally said.

River smiled shyly, "It started off he just wanted to make up for letting me get thrown out a window. I felt bad for him. I know what it's like to be a fuck up. We went out to dinner and then a Street Fighter tournament. I got second place. I made him take me to a Kaiju film festival in Austin tonight."

"Ah man, I love Kaiju movies," Dean moaned. Sam smiled at his brother, Dean was never one to miss a Godzilla marathon.

"We were in the middle of 'Frankenstein Conquers the World' when Gabe snatched me."

"That's a good one!"

"Yeah it is. They played 'Ultraman' first."

"Oh no way! Thats my favorite: Ultraman Ultraman Here he comes from the sky, Ultraman Ultraman watch our hero fly," Dean broke out singing the Ultraman theme song.

River laughed and chewed her bottom lip, she reached across the table and picked up Gabriel's discarded bag, "I got you this. It's dumb…I didn't even know when I'd see you again." She pulled out the silver and red suited Ultraman action figure. "It's fully articulated."

Dean's green eyes grew huge, "Man, I always wanted this! Sammy look at this. Remember when I asked Dad to get me this….he said no of course. Had to buy ammo or something." River nervously chewed her thumb nail and watched as Dean posed the action figure and made robot noises.

"So…you and Ed…sound like you have a lot in common," Sam asked, playing the expert wingman.

"No. Actually we don't. Weird right? To have nothing in common with a half normal jerk off." River laughed and shook her head, "His favorite movie is 'Tin Cup'. His favorite band is 'Nickelback' (Dean audibly groaned) and the only thing he reads are blog posts written by Harry." Screams echoed from the outside the room and the hunters shot up. "Screw this. Those people need help," River said yanking the door open.

Authors note: thank you to everyone following and commenting on this story. It's getting really long. Lol. I still have a lot more I want to write. The season is kind of going to go out of order and I hope it makes sense.