Ch 53
Dean and River materialized from the foggy bathroom sometime later. Sam was back from Jody Mills' and relayed the Sheriff as well as could be expected with the death of her husband and the re-death of her son. The rest of the town seemed to be coping with the return and then loss of their dead loved ones in much the same way. A few people had tried to contact the media but the story was so far fetched no one was biting. Bobby sat in his wheelchair in the kitchen a mug of cold coffee in front of him. "I'll make dinner," Dean announced. Bobby grunted an affirmative and looked at River who gave him a nervous half smile.
"I want to talk to you," he said pulling a chair next to him and patting the seat. River sat down in the offered chair and watched as Dean searched the fridge and cabinets for something to throw together for dinner. Sam leaned against the kitchen island with his laptop open eyes scanning news stories. "I need to apologize to you-" Bobby started. The brothers tried to appear like they were still engrossed in their tasks but Dean had stopped slamming cabinets shut and Sam's fingers hung motionless above his keyboard.
"No you don't, Bobby," River said tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear.
"I was way outta line. And I'm sorry for the way I treated you," he continued. "You did good, girl. You did real good by me and this town." River dipped her head, the tips of her ears red and hot with his words of praise. He reached across the table and squeezed her hand.
"How come you've never said something like that to us?" Sam demanded.
"Yeah, she ganks a couple dozen zombies and get the 'Bobby Singer Lifetime Achievement Award." Dean grumbled.
Bobby laughed, " 'cause I like her better than I like the two of you idjits. Where's my damn dinner?"
The trio of hunters left Bobby's the next day after cleaning the blood, gore and broken glass from his home. They had no ideas or plans so Dean chose a direction while the three of them discussed all the things they did and did not know about the coming Apocalypse.
"Things we know for sure:" River started reading the list she had written, "1. Michael and Lucifer are Archangels. 2. You lucky bastards are their vessels. 3. Angels need consent from their vessels before entering. As long as you two don't give them the go ahead they can't ride you like a couple of Flannel clad Vespas. 4. Angels, as a general rule, are feathered dickbags- do we need to include that on the list. I mean doesn't that go with out saying?" River asked looking at Dean's green eyes reflected at her in the rearview mirror.
He glanced down at his phone then back to her, "You wanted a list. It goes on the list."
River smirked, "5. The Horseman's rings make some sort of magic lock that goes to Lucifers cage which apparently is still intact in Hell somewhere. 6. Pestilence has a virus ready to go global that turns people into '28 Days Later' rage zombies. That about it for now?" Sam nodded. "Ok on to things we don't know: 1. How the fuck do the rings work? 2. How the fuck do we send Lucifer back to his room? 3. Where is God? Is He alive? Because God has to be a man. A woman wouldn't let their children run a-fucking-mok for millennia…4.How do we find the last two Horseman? 5. I'm hungry. When are we stoping?"
Dean checked his phone and said, "We're almost there." He pulled the Impala off the highway at the next exit.
"There? Where the hell are we?" River asked as Dean continued to drive for several more minutes. They finally arrived at their apparent destination, "The Tipsy Cow" and parked the car.
"You guys ready?" he asked looking over his shoulder at River then back to his brother. She and Sam wore similar looks of bewilderment. Dean pointed to the marque above the bar; "My Name is Sue- Johnny Cash tribute band Live Tonight!"
River broke into a brilliant smile, "Oh this is so happening."
"Congrats Sammy, you get to drive tonight." Dean dropped the keys into his brothers lap before he could protest and climbed out of the car after River. He slung one arm across her shoulders and kissed the side of her forehead as they walked into the bar. The cover band was half way through "Daddy Sang Bass" as River pulled Dean through the crowd towards an empty table near the stage. Sam stopped at the bar to order the first round of drinks before joining them. "How'd you find this place?" she asked after the song ended and they could hear each other talk.
Dean shrugged taking a sip from his beer, "Saw it online. Thought you might like it." Sam smiled at his brother, Dean was trying to act cool but he was nervous.
"Why? What's the special occasion? Am I dying? I would know if I was dying, right?" River asked looking between the brothers.
Sam raised his eyebrows, "I don't know anything about this."
Dean knocked his first shot of whiskey back and rolled the empty shot glass between his hands. "It's…it's the anniversary of the night we met," He answered.
River gave a surprised laugh, "What? Anniversary? You're joking." Her eyebrows narrowed in suspicion.
"Cut me some slack. Things have been exceedingly shitty lately and I just thought it'd be nice…"
"It'd be nice to celebrate the night I almost shot your brother and got roofied by a group of serial rapists?" Dean nodded. "End of the world's making you sentimental, Winchester." River said quietly before leaning across the table to kiss him. They stayed and enjoyed the rest of the band's set, River even pulling Dean drunkly to the floor to dance for a few songs. Sam finally corralled them back to the car at closing time. "Sam, Sammy we should get some more drinks. Find a liquor store," River commanded from the backseat.
Dean nodded, "Yeah that's a great idea. Sammy to the liquor store!"
"You two are a couple of drunk assholes you know that?" Sam muttered trying to find both an open liquor store and a motel within their price range. He found the liquor store, grabbing a couple six packs and a bottle of whiskey and returned to the car less than ten minutes later to find Dean and River necking in the backseat like horny teenagers. Sam banged on the window several times before he got their attention.
"Fuck off Sammy!" Dean yelled.
"You wanted booze, I got booze!" Sam hollered back annoyed. The two separated, Dean's hair a tousled mess, River's lips swollen and pink. "There's like no middle ground with you two is there? You're either fucking or arguing…" he mumbled scanning the list of motels he had up on his cellphone.
"We do other stuff. Sometimes…we could go bowling. Find a bowling alley Sammy." River said resting her head on Dean's shoulder.
Sam shook his head and muttered, "Assholes" under his breath again. The motel he settled on had only one open room with two queen beds. "No drunk sex with me in the room! Are we clear?" Sam asked as he unlocked their shared room. Dean and River nodded.
"You sound like you need a couple drinks," River said patting his chest and slipping past him into the room. They all had more than a couple of drinks and passed out before dawn. Sam flopped onto his bed, his ridiculous gazelle legs hanging over the edge. River cocooned by Dean, his arms and legs somehow completely wrapped around her, his face buried in her hair, his warm breath on her neck. Early morning sunlight drifted through the crack in the olive green curtains landing directly on River's closed eyelids. Someone blared a car horn on the street outside, deep voices drifted through the thin walls and River groaned in annoyance. Her still tired eyes cracked open, focusing slowly on the back of Sam's shaggy auburn hair and rumpled plaid shirt. Dean mumbled something in his sleep his arm pulling her tighter towards him. After much maneuvering and gentle nudging she was able to convince Dean to let her go and turn on his stomach burying his face in the pillow instead of her neck.
River stood up and stretched. She still wore her stale clothes from the previous day and grimaced at the smell of sour beer and bar food wafting off her with the shifting fabric. Both brothers snored peacefully behind her and she decided to use the opportunity to get a hot shower. The sound of her shower helped mute the tentative sounds of someone jimmying the lock on the motel door. Two masked figures silently entered the room and closed the door behind them. One of the intruders removed Sams pistol from the top of the nightstand while the other carefully grabbed the pistol that was poking out from beneath Dean's pillow. Sam stirred, sitting up quickly. The masked figure standing at the foot of the bed held one gloved finger up to his mouth indicating "silence" and pointed at the closed bathroom door where the sounds of the shower still echoed.
Some instinctive part of Dean's brain woke him a few seconds later. He kept his eyes closed and tried to ascertain exactly what he was facing. He heard shifting footsteps, ragged breaths, and the faint echo of River singing in the shower. His hand went for the gun under his pillows but came away empty. "Shit," he thought.
"Lookin' for this?" A hollow 'thump' sounded from the foot of his bed as someone ejected the clip from his pistol onto the carpeted floor.
Dean turned slowly to his side, hands held in front of him then swung his legs to the end of the bed so he was sitting up. "Morning." He said said trying to sound nonchalant. The masked man in front of his bed had a gun in each hand pointed at him and his younger brother. The second man shouldered his way into the bathroom and ripped the cheap plastic shower curtain from the rod. "Motherfuck!" River yelled in surprise. The man snatched a handful of River's long wet hair and dragged her out of the shower. She screamed, then there were the sounds of a struggle. The man grunted as River got a least one good hit in before the sound of a gloved fist struck soft flesh. "Ow!" River yelped.
Dean tensed and the man holding the gun on him and his brother shook his head and said, "I wouldn't do that if I were you, Dean."
"Get me a fucking towel, mouth breather!" She yelled as the stranger pressed a shotgun between her shoulder blades. The masked man ignored her request and shoved her out of the bathroom. Sam's hazel eyes stared fixedly at the gun pointed at his chest. Dean's face was a mask of smoldering anger as the stranger marched River out of the bathroom, naked and wet, to the space in front of the two beds. Her cheeks and chest burned hot red with anger and embarrassment. She had one arm was covering her chest the other hanging down trying to cover her front. "You're not supposed to see me naked 'till our wedding night, Sammy," she mumbled. Her jaw and lip were swelling and purple from where the man had punched her.
"Hands behind your head and get on your knees, sweet pea." The man barked.
"Enjoy the view, Chucklefuck." River told him lowering herself to the floor and lacing her fingers behind her head. She looked at Dean's stony features and the way his hands rested tensely on his knees. She didn't dare turn her head to look directly at Sam but saw his similar stiff posture from her peripheral vision.
"Is it just me or do you guys seem mighty upset about something?" Dean asked.
"There's been a lotta rumors flying around about you two," the one still aiming the shotgun between Rivers shoulder blades said. "Sam, you think you can flip the switch on the apocalypse and walk away?"
"Who told you that?" Sam asked quietly. The masked men shifted nervously on their feet.
"News travels Winchester," one of them answered.
Dean's eyebrows shot up. "Wait...Roy is that you?" He asked the man standing in front of him. "It is isn't? Which makes the other chucklefuck Walt. Walt, you hit my girl." Dean said turning his eyes to the man standing behind River. River couldn't help the smirk pulling at her swollen lip. The men cursed and pulled their ski masks off.
"You dicks think you can kick off the apocalypse and there ain't gonna be repercussions?" Roy asked waiving his guns angrily at the brothers.
River shook her head, "You gutless fucking wonders haven't got a god damn clue..."
Walt shoved the cold shotgun barrel harder into her back, "Oh no? We know you're the little bitch that killed Mike and Joey Rogers. They were good friends of ours."
River thought back to the hunters she had run into a few months prior. She had saved their necks from a werewolf. Then Mike had innocently enough invited her to a few beers as thanks. His brother, Joey, had been the one to figure out who she really was as she stood next to the burning werewolf corpse trying to stay warm, "You're Dean Winchester's bitch. There's some pretty rotten rumors floating around about them two." The brothers concocted a half baked plan to kidnap her and lure the Winchesters into a trap. Joey's lumbering form hid a well trained hunter, he tackled her to the ground while his brother hastily wrapped her wrists and ankles in duct tape and then they shoved her kicking and screaming into their trunk. They'd been dumb enough to leave a tire iron in the trunk and tape her hands in front of her. When they finally stopped driving and popped the trunk open she was waiting for them. She cracked Joey's head open like a soft melon when he reached in to pull her out and during the ensuing struggle she wrangled Mike's gun away from him. She left the brothers in a puddle of their own blood, stole their car and ran before the rest of their friends caught up with them.
"Wait, you don't have to do this," Sam told him. "I can explain. Just hear us out."
"We ain't the only hunters after you." Roy told them as if that explained what they were about to do. "There's repercussions."
River gave Dean a small, hopeless smile, "I lov-". The shotgun went off. A ragged blossom exploded out from her chest and she fell face first into the shag carpet. Dean blinked several times, trying to get her blood out of his eyes. His hands still frozen in place on his knees. Roy pumped the used shells out of his shotgun and turned it on Sam.
"You don't get to end the world and walk away," Walt repeated.
The shotgun went off again with a deafening blast. The wall behind Sam was splattered with chunks of his lungs and thick globs of blood before he fell lifeless to the bed. Roy's hands shook when Dean finally moved, barely turning his head to look down at River's body, her blood soaking into the avocado green carpet. His rage filled eyes moved slowly to his brothers slumped, unmoving form. "Killin' them two was right. Dean….Dean wasn't the one we were here for," Roy said quietly.
Walt laughed, "We just murdered his brother and his girlfriend. You want to spend the rest of your life looking over your shoulder making sure this asshole ain't there? Kill him and lets get the fuck out of here." Roy continued to hesitate, his guns heavy and slipping in his sweaty hands.
"Yeah, Roy. Do it. I ain't got all day." Dean smiled at him, "But I'm warnin' you, when I come back I'm gonna be pissed."
"Fuck this," Walt muttered stepping in front of Roy. Dean heard the third deafening blast from the shotgun but felt nothing. One moment he was in the motel room staring down his imminent death, again, the next he was sleeping in the front seat of Baby.
"How the hell?" Dean muttered when he woke up. Bob Dylan played softly on the radio. The car was pulled over on a dark empty road. He got out of the car to check his surroundings. The trunk slammed shut behind him and Dean spun on his heels. Sam stood smiling behind him, 11-year old Sam to be exact, holding a box full of enough firecrackers and bottle rockets to set half of Delaware on fire. "Sammy?"
Sammy adjusted his grip on the box, "Dean this is gonna be awesome! Come on!"
Dean smiled, "Weird dream." He followed his younger and still shorter-than-him brother away from the road and into an empty field.
Sammy set the box of fire works down and turned towards him, "Do you have your lighter?" He looked up expectantly at his ever prepared, way cool older brother.
Dean patted his leather jacket and found his old lucky lighter in the inside pocket, "No way. I haven't seen this thing in years." He thumbed the wheel and the blue flame sprang to life.
Sam held up a sparkler to the flame and smiled as it caught, "This is awesome, Dean. Thanks. Dad would never let us do something like this." Sammy gave Dean a quick hug then used the sparkler to light his row of illegal fireworks. The fireworks went off and the Winchester's had their own private show.
Dean smiled, "Man, I remember this! This is the year we burnt that field down on Fourth of July...Dad kicked the crap out of me the next day." Sammy didn't hear him over the crackling and exploding fireworks. The dark sky above them lit in brilliant blues and oranges. His younger brother was smiling ear to ear, genuinely happy, an emotion he hadn't seen on Sam in a long time. A particularly loud 'Crashmaster XXL' exploded in the sky above them and Dean remembered the ear splitting sounds of shotgun blasts. Sudden silence pressed in around him. The fireworks were gone, Sammy was gone. All that remained was the cold, dark field in front of him and the sound of static echoing from Baby a few hundred yards away. Dean trudged back through the darkness towards his car, the static almost seemed to be taking on a familiar sound. Once or twice he even thought he heard his name.
"De-Dean, can you…can you hear me, Dean!" Castiel's gravelly voice finally broke through the static just as Dean sat back behind the wheel of the car.
Dean's eyebrows shout up in surprise, "Cas?"
"Yes, Dean it's me."
The hunter let out a short whistle, "Dude, you gotta stop poking around in my dreams."
"Dean listen to my very carefully. This isn't a dream." Even through the undercurrent of static Dean could hear the harried tone in the Angel's voice. "You know what happened."
Dean sat back heavily against the seat, "I'm dead."
"Yes." The static blared and Castiel's voice disappeared for a few seconds.
Dean was afraid to touch the knobs on the radio and lose Cas permanently. "Cas, are you there man? Where the hell am I?"
"Heaven. Dean you are in heaven. What do you see? Some people see a tunnel or a river-"
"River! Sam! Cas, where are they? Those sons of bitches that shot me got them first." Dean yelled.
"Sam is there somewhere. Dean, I don't know if you'll be able to find River-"
"Sam's in heaven? How do I find them?" Dean asked. The static blared again.
"Dean what do you see?" Cas repeated.
Dean let out a frustrated breath, "Nothin, man. My dash. I'm in my car. There's a road."
"Ok, for you it's a road…this spell is very difficult to maintain…I'll try to keep in contact. You must follow the road and find Sam-" Castiel's voice was finally drowned out by static.
Dean yelled at the radio, "Cas! Cas! What about River!" Castiel didn't answer. He wildly spun the dials searching for Castiel. The Angel didn't answer but on every station his favorite songs played. "Shit," he muttered as he started the Impala. "Follow the road..." he said to himself pulling back onto the deserted asphalt. There were no turns, no forks, just endless flat road as far as he could see. The darkness around the car was oppressive he couldn't even see the outlines of buildings or trees.
The road suddenly dumped him in the front yard of a middle class home befitting no-name suburbia and not whatever dark corner of heaven he found himself in. He slammed on the brakes inches before plowing over a mailbox shaped like a miniature version of the house behind it. "That's a little redundant," Dean muttered at the stupid mailbox.
Soft light was spilling out from the large picture window in the front of the house. Dean cautiously got out of his car and looked inside the home. Sitting at the large dinner table, surrounded by a family straight out of a Thursday night prime time show, was Sam. By the looks of the fixings on the table Sam was enjoying Thanksgiving dinner. Judging by the nervous glances from the giddy tween girl to Sam's left she was planning on having him for desert and not the pumpkin pie. "You've got to be shitting me," Dean muttered watching his brother make awkward small talk. He found the front door and let himself in.
"Thanks again for inviting me to dinner Mr. and Mrs. Scott. This is great," San told the man and woman at the head of the table. Brace-face gave his knee a flirty squeeze and Sam almost jumped out of his seat. Dean couldn't help but laugh.
Sam spun around in his chair, "Dean! What are you doing here? You're supposed to be with dad- I mean….Get the hell out of my dream, dude!" He turned back to the table to give the Scotts some excuse as to why his older brother decided to crash Thanksgiving but the family was continuing their conversation as if nothing happened.
"Dream? Try again Sammy. We're in heaven." Dean asked. "And apparently your Heaven is diner with Jailbait."
Sam stood up, "Heaven...wait. The motel, those guys. We're dead?" Dean nodded.
"How the hell did we get into Heaven? I mean you I get. But me? Come on, unless you've forgotten I've done…things."
Dean sighed, "Yeah well you did 'em with good intentions, right?"
Sam smiled, "Last I remember, Heaven's not the road paved with good intentions."
"We got find a way outta here. This place sucks…If I gotta spend eternity here I got needs you know? I need to find Riv…"
"Wait…they always say life flashes before your eyes when you die. Maybe that's what this is….This is my first real Thanksgiving. That's Alice Scott. We were in 7th grade History together. She invited me over for dinner with her family."
Dean tucked his hands in his jacket, "Real Thanksgiving? Dad loved Thanksgiving."
"Dad loved a bucket of extra crispy and passing out drunk before fourth down." Sam retorted.
"Yeah well, maybe you're on to something. When I woke up I was in a memory too. Remember that 4th of July we burnt that field down?" Dean asked.
Sam nodded, "Yeah. Yeah, I do. That was a great night until Dad kicked the crap out of you when we finally got back to the motel." Dean opened his mouth to contradict Sam's memory of the night but before he could the lights flickered than went out. The Scotts continued their discussion at the dinner table, passing dinner rolls and taking extra servings of stuffing. "I don't remember this." Sam said quietly to his brother. A bright white searchlight flared through the picture window, the house shook, pictures fell from the walls and the brothers looked at each other.
"I think we should…" Dean muttered. His brother nodded and they dove behind the couch, trying to hide their large frames from the searchlight.
"What the hell was that?" Sam muttered when the light suddenly disappeared and the rumbling stopped.
Dean stood up and looked around the living room, his eyes settled on a stereo system in the corner, "I don't know. But we are getting out of here…Cas, Cas buddy can you hear me. Breaker- breaker Castiel…" Dean tuned the stereo, dialing the knob back and fourth through the static filled stations.
"Dean, are you ok man?" Sam starred worriedly down at this older brother. Afraid he was watching as the proverbial straw broke his brother.
"What…yeah. I'm fine. Cas contacted me earlier with an ET phone home spell or something…Castiel come on dude!" The TV flashed to life in the opposite corner and a flickering visage of Castiel appeared.
"Yes, Dean. I can hear you…" he voice wavered across the static.
The brothers kneeled in front of the TV. "Cas, hey I found Sam. But there's this weird thing that just happened man. This bright light-"
"Dean, Sam do not go into the light!" Cas yelled.
Dean sat back on his heels, "Yeah ok Carol Ann. Relax-"
"No, I will not relax. That light is Zachariah. He is searching for you, scouring Heaven for you and you must not let him find you. Yet."
"Why not Cas?" Sam asked. The TV flickered and Castiel's voice was lost for several seconds.
"You can not say yes to Lucifer and Michael if you are dead. Zachariah needs to find you to return you to your bodies." The Angel answered. "Heaven is closed to me but you are behind the wall. You must find someone before you are returned."
"Who Cas?" Dean asked.
"An Angel by the name of Joshua." Castiel answered.
Dean shook his head, "Look no offense, Cas. But I have had my ass-fill of dickbag Angels. I want to find my girl and I want to get the fuck out of here."
"NO, Dean! You do not understand. It is rumored Joshua is God's confidant . He may be the only Angel in existence that knows his location and may be able to get him to assist us. Do you think that might be helpful as the Apocalypse draws ever closer?" Castiel yelled exasperated. The harried tone had returned to his voice and if the sheen of sweat on his forehead was any indication the spell he was using to contact them was beginning to tire him.
Dean held up his hands in mock surrender, "Jeez. Alright Mr. Touchy. Find Joshua, got it. How the hell would you like us to do that?"
"Follow the Axis Mundi. Different people see it different things; to you it is two lanes of asphalt. It is the main road that runs through heaven. And at the center is the Garden. Joshua is it's caretaker and that is where you can find him. Talk to Joshua." The TV flickered and then Cas was gone, acrid smoke wafted out from the vents in the back of the TV as it burned out.
Dean ran his hands though his hair, "Well alright. Let's get Baby and get back on the road." They opened the front door and the road was gone, Baby was gone. A wall of trees too thick to walk through had sprung up a few feet from the front porch. "Shit, where the hell is the road?" he said angrily. Flashes of bright white light shone through the trees and the the brothers ducked back inside the house.
"What do we do now?" Sam asked.
His older brother shook his head trying to come up with a plan. "I don't know. We gotta find the yellow brick road and track down Joshua."
"Just like that, huh? You're really down to find God. I thought you wanted to punch in the nose." Sam said.
"I do. Fuck the son of a bitch. But we are totally screwed without him. You know that, Cas knows that. We're dicked on options here. So this is me and my Hail Mary because we don't have any other plays man." Dean said walking past his brother. He opened closets and peaked in cupboards.
"What are you doing?" Sam asked.
Dean ran up the stairs to the second floor, "Cas said find a road. I'm looking for a road."
"You think the road is in a closet or the guest bedroom?" Sam yelled after him.
"I think we are in heaven. And our memories are coming true and of all the bullshit crazy things I've seen, finding a road where there ain't supposed to be a road is the most probable thing I can expect right now….Sammy check this out." Dean poked his head out into the hallway and yelled at his brother. Sam ran down the hall and looked into the room. The bedroom was decked out in car decor, metal road signs and a giant poster of an open road with a cheesy motivational quote. They looked up at the poster and found themselves crammed into a tiny bathroom; flanked on one side by a moldy shower, a stained sink and the stupid motivational poster hanging askew on a much-patched up wall.
"Come on Winchester, are you gonna be serious about this or not. I spent the last twelve hours writing this campaign," River's voice drifted through the door. The brothers looked at each other and then slowly opened the bathroom door. They were in a dingy motel room. River sat crosslegged on the one bed with her back towards them. A game board was haphazardly balanced on the mattress along with stacks of papers and a piece of cardboard River had bent in to a V-shape to hide her notes from the brothers. Dean sat on the bed next to her nose deep in "What to Expect When Your Expecting" and Sam lounged on the floor a stack of his own papers in front of him.
"I'm always serious babe. You should start taking a folic acid supplement," Dean said looking up from the book. Sam smiled at brother as he adjusted pieces on the game board.
"Alright, I'm starting..." River rolled her head and her neck and adjusted on the bed, "I am Gingerbeard Shortsack, dwarvish Trader and wayfarer I will be your guide for this campaign." Sam threw his head back and laughed. Dean ignored them and kept reading.
Once Sam stopped laughing he introduced his character, "Alright...I am Ian Cognito master spy and lord of illusion." It was River's turn to giggle at the stupid name he had come up with, Dean continued to ignore them.
"Hey, is there any chance... like at all that when we're you know …and remember I only got a GED…" Dean suddenly asked eyebrows raised, an embarrassed faint pink tint on his nose, "Could it hurt the baby. I mean what if I poke it in the head or something."
"First off, You are the smartest person I have ever met Mr. I-only-have-a-GED. But, no there is absolutely no physical chance of that ever happening." River said then added, "We agreed not to get crazy about this until we know everything is ok. So put the damn book down and introduce your character." She grabbed the book and tossed it over her shoulder. It landed at Deans feet and he suddenly remembered this night; he wasn't sure yet if this was his memory or his brothers but either way it was a good one. It was after dealing with Freeman Dagett and the Ghostfacers. Daggett had tossed River across the room and less than 48 hours after they had found out she was pregnant she had begun having cramps and lite bleeding. They holed up in a shitty hotel for a few days to ride it out. Dean was nervous and antsy; River had kicked them out of the room so she could get a few hours of sleep. They had returned from town later that evening with the baby book and the old 'Dungeons and Dragons' game. The trio lost themselves for several hours in the game letting the rest of the worries disappear.
"Fine... prepare yourselves dweebs! I am Dumbledork the darkest of dark mages and I control all the best superpowers I'm going to need to beat your nerdy asses."
"You are the worst." River said laughing.
"This was a fun night," Dean said to his brother. River quit laughing and jumped off the bed.
"What the fuck? How are you in my dream?" she asked. Then her hand drifted to the middle of her chest where the close range shotgun blast had ended her life, " …Shit. Those chucklefucks at the motel- they killed us didn't they?" She said looking between the memories of the brothers next to her and the ones that had just materialized out of the bathroom.
Sam nodded, "Yeah looks like it."
Dean strode across the room and swept her into a tight hug, burying his face in her neck and mumbling, "I knew I'd find you."
"I don't understand...where are we?" She asked.
"Heaven." Sam answered watching as he and his brother continued playing behind them. "We get to live out our greatest hits for eternity."
River looked over her shoulder again at the Dungeons and Dragons game. "Heaven?," she said. "I guess if this is how I have to spend eternity it's not so bad.This is probably one of the best memories I have…We aren't fighting, we're playing a freaking board game, the worlds not fucked yet and there's greasy Chinese food…" she said pointing to the stacks of white take-out containers on the small folding table.
"What are you saying? You want to stay here?" Dean asked her.
River cocked her to the side, "Don't I have to? If Cas could bring us back wouldn't he have done it already?"
"Cas wants us to find an Angel by the name of Joshua. He might have a lead on where Big Daddy is hiding." Dean told her. The motel room started shaking before River could respond. They were plunged into darkness and then same bright white light from the Scotts reflected through the window.
River took a step towards the thin curtains, "What the shit is that? I don't remember a UFO…" Dean grabbed her and spun her towards the motel door as Sam dove beneath the window.
"It's Zachariah. He's looking for us. He needs to send us back to Earth; Michael and Lucifer can't use us if we stay dead. They still need us to give consent to ride us into the End." Dean murmured. The door behind them rattled on it's hinges, the light flaring around every nook and cranny and then it went out returning the motel room to its previous state.
Sam cautiously checked through the window before standing up, "There's no road out there."
"Road?" River asked.
"We gotta keep trucking on the Axis Mundi, its the Route 66 that runs through Heaven but it's kind of a bitch to keep track of." Dean told her. "You seen anything that looks like a road in here?" She glanced around the room, trying to remember anything useful as the brothers knocked over the cheap nightstands and checked the small closet.
"Wait! I think…" she said running to the foot of the bed where they had thrown their duffle bags. She opened Dean's and dug through it, "Aha! Yeah, here. You always have one of these in your bag." She pulled out an ancient, taped and dog-eared road atlas. On the front cover was a picture of a winding road. The brothers looked over her shoulder at the atlas. It had belonged to their father, a permanent fixture in the Impalas glove box for as long as they could remember.
"No way…" Sam muttered.
River scowled at him, "Hey, string bean I'm trying here- where are the fuck are we?" The trio were now standing in someones living room. Toys littered the floor, a crib was against the wall where a baby slept peacefully and a woman's quiet voice drifted out of the next room. River looked up at Sam who gave her a bewildered shrug then across to Dean. He was staring dumbfounded around the room. "I wuv hugz too, Hot Stuff," She said pointing at his shirt.
He looked down at the pastel blue t-shrit he was wearing with a friendly Teddy bear with giant open arms beckoned for a warm hug. "No way…"Dean said. "Sammy, We're home." Dean took the road atlas out of River's hand and placed it on the chipped coffee table where he remembered flipping through it as a child.
"Dean, hunny you want some lunch?" the woman's gentle voice called. He led them into the kitchen where a beautiful blonde woman was singing quietly along with a Beatles song playing on the radio sitting on the kitchen counter. She turned around holding a plate with a sandwich on it and smiled lovingly at Dean, "How's Peanut Butter and Jelly sound? I cut the crusts off for you, big guy."
Dean walked towards the woman and sat at the table. Sam and River were completely ignored by her. "Is that….is that your mom?" River asked quietly. Sam nodded and swallowed thickly, watching as the mother he had no real memories off poured his older brother a glass of milk.
"Mom." Sam called. "Mom?" The woman didn't even glance at her younger son.
"Sorry, Sammy. Not your memory," Dean told him. Sam wiped at a tear that was slowly making a trail down his cheek.
"Dean, we gotta find the road," he said once he found his voice.
Dean nodded and continued to watch their mother, "Ok. Just…gimme a minute."
"Is Sammy still sleeping?" Mary asked. Dean nodded. "You are the best big brother Dean," She said kissing his forehead. The phone rang and she stepped away to answer it. Her eyebrows creased as she heard the voice on the other end. She glanced over shoulder at Dean before answering in a low, even tone, "No, John. You have two boys at home to think about….fine. Then we have nothing to talk about." She placed the phone back on the cradle and sniffed loudly.
"What's that about?" River asked him.
"Mom and Dad were fighting. Dad moved out for a few days…" he answered.
Sam shook his head, "Dad always made it seem like they had the perfect marriage."
"It was only perfect after she died," Dean told him. He watched as his mothers shoulders shook as she tried to cry silently with her young son in the room. Dean got up from the table and went to his mother, she quickly wiped her face. "It's ok mom. Dad still loves you," he said hugging her. Four year old Dean would have hugged her somewhere around the level of her thighs. Thirty year old Dean was able to embrace her fully, lay his head on her shoulder and feel the soft whips of her blonde hair brush against his face.
"You are my little angel," Mary cooed at him.
River squeezed her eyes shut, anger suddenly flaring in her belly. "God Damn you, John Winchester," she thought. Sam felt a similar surge of emotion towards his dead father but also a renewed sense of respect for his older brother. Dean stepped away from his mother as she asked him if he wanted pie for desert and looked to River and Sam. "What?" he asked.
Sam shook his head, "Nothing…it's just I never realized how long you've been cleaning up Dad's messes."
Dean was silenced for a moment, watching as their mother pulled a blueberry pie out of the fridge, cut a slice and place it on a 'Scooby-Doo' plate. "Yeah...well," he cleared his throat still finding it difficult to speak ill of his father. "We need to find the road." The hunters left the kitchen and began searching the house for any signs of the Axis Mundi. Dean and River scanned through stacks of books and magazines while Sam opened drawers in the china hutch. He found a stack of postcards and flipped through them seeing the usual variations of "Wish you were here" and wondering how many his mom had picked up in her younger years hunting with her parents. He stopped on a familiar looking postcard it read: "Route 66 The Mother Road" and had a photo of the open road and a small map.
"Hey, I think I remember this." He called to the other two. Dean stood up from the stack of newspapers he had been sifting through. River turned away from the crib where she had been watching baby Sam sleep. She was amazed how that tiny, innocent baby had turned into the giant demon killing hunter she had grown to know and love. They looked down at the postcard Sam held between his fingers and found themselves again somewhere new. This time a cluttered single wide trailer, the wall opposite them covered in similar postcards to the one Sam still held. "No way!" Sam said happily looking around the trailer. A dumb, friendly looking Golden retriever lounged on a sagging couch.
"Oh my god there's a dog! Hi doggy, hi baby!" River cooed patting her thighs to entice the dog over for a belly rub. The dog completely ignored her. "Fuck you too, Fido." She stood up feeling rejected by the stupid dog.
"His name is Bones," Sam told her. At the sound of Sam's voice the dog jumped off the couch, tail wagging so hard his whole back half was wiggling. "He was my dog." Sam leaned down and scratched the dog behind the ears.
"When the hell did you guys have a dog? I can't imagine John or Dean ever letting this giant floof ball in the car," River said. Sam gave her a twitchy smile as he fed the dog a piece of pizza crust. Dean sighed loudly and looked around the room, hands tucked in the pockets of his jeans. "You ok, Dean?" She asked. He was obviously not ok, his shoulders were tense and his jaw rigid.
"Is this Flagstaff?" He finally asked his younger brother. From Dean's abrupt tone this was a loaded question.
Sam was still petting Bones, "Yeah. Yeah it is."
"This is a good memory to you?" Dean asked again, looking at the piles of empty pizza boxes and soda cans that littered the kitchen counters. River crossed her arms nervously over her chest and nibbled on one of her thumb nails. She remembered the little Dean had told her of this particular incident and Dean's end wasn't a happy memory.
"I was on my own for two weeks. I lived on Funyuns and Mr. Pibb." Sam answered.
"You ran away on my watch! I looked everywhere for you! I thought you were dead and when Dad came home…" Dean's eyes grew dark and haunted. There were only a handful of times when John Winchester beat his sons. When it did happen, it was mostly Dean on the receiving end who did his best to shield Sam from their fathers worst fits. The time in question John had left his sons outside of Opelika, Alabama for two weeks while he hunted a dead-end lead on Yellow Eyes. Dean left his brother studying for an AP Physics exam to hook up with a waitress he'd met the night before. When he returned to the hotel room, smelling like cheap perfume and townie pussy, Sam was gone. He drove for two days straight, following every possible bread crumb to try and find his brother before his father found out. By the dawn of the third day, Sam's trail had gone ice cold and John was on his way to back to Alabama. John put Dean in the hospital that night with a concussion and a broken collar bone. Injuries they told the ER doctor Dean had got by falling off a dirt bike.
"I'm sorry... I was away from Dad and all his bullshit. I got to wake up when I wanted to and-" From the look on Sam's face he had no idea what price Dean had had to pay.
"Forget it. Let's just find the road, " Dean muttered. River nodded and let Sam sit with his dog for a few more minutes. She squeezed Dean's hand as she walked by him, her eyes set on a stack of moldy looking records. Dean angrily dug through a pile of Sam's dirty laundry, overturned couch cushions and studied the rest of the postcards on the wall.
"Man, my dad used to have this record. It's Elvis' worst album, " River laughed. The record in question showed the King in all his 70'a leisure suit glory straddling a two lane highway. Before the brothers could respond their settings changed once again. If the single wide trailer Sam had escaped to for a few weeks was small the area they were in now was tiny. Sam had to bend over almost double to avoid hitting his head on the low ceiling. Dean adopted a lurching duck walk with his head cocked to the side. The brothers turned in tight circles trying to ascertain who's cramped memory they found themselves in. A fold away couch bed was beside them covered in toys and coloring books, a collapsible table was along the opposite wall, a Murphy bed was stored along the opposite end and a stack of plastic milk crates crammed with vinyl records was secured to the wall with elastic bungee cords. A much loved, raggedy yellow-yarn haired doll lay on the table. River set the record down with shaking fingers and picked up the doll. Her shimmering blue space dress were worn dull around the middle where she had been held almost incessantly since she had been removed from the cardboard box she'd come in. "Rainbow Bright?" River whispered picking the doll up and tucking it securely under her right arm to protect it from thieving older brothers.
The metal clang of the RV hood being slammed shut echoed outside along with a man yelling, "Son of a shitting dick!"
River spun towards the small door tucked behind the driver and passenger seats at the front of the RV, still grasping the doll by one rainbow colored sleeve. "Who's out there?" Dean asked her. She pushed the squeaking door open and a red-haired man was waiting at the foot of the stairs wiping his military issue black framed 'Buddy Holly' style glasses on a stained work shirt. He was shorter than both the Winchester's by several inches but still had the firm muscles he'd earned in bootcamp followed by two tours in 'Nam. His hair was a dark rusty red, skin covered in so many brown freckles from afar it gave him the appearance of a tan.
"Did you find your doll, sweetheart?" the man asked. His thick Boston accent took both brothers back. River was silent. Hot tears sprang to her eyes. It had been twenty-three years since she'd seen her dad or heard his voice. He nodded as if she had answered, "I told you she was in there. Let's go see if mom made lunch." He reached for River's hand, and turned away holding only air. He limped heavily from the injury that had earned him a Purple Heart and discharge from the Marine Corps as he led her memory away form the RV, across a browning lawn and towards a small traditional style home. A 'For Sale' sign was hammered into the ground in front of the house. The curb ended not in a street but once again in dense trees. After the initial shock wore off River rushed after her dad and placed her hand in his.
"River we need to find the road," Sam called as she walked with her dad towards their home.
Dean grabbed his brothers arm and shook his head, "Giver her a minute."
"Platoon halt," Her dad said suddenly holding his fist up in the air, "I gotta get all the fucks out of my system before we go in the house. How about you River-monster?"
"Yeah, daddy," River answered smiling, "On the count of three."
"In Gaelic, or your dear great-grandmothers gonna roll over in her grave if one of you's kids don't learn the old language." He said leaning down to the ground where River would have stood. She tilted her head down watching as he got to her 4 year old level. "A haon, a dó, a trí…Fuck!" They both yelled into the sky.
"Oooh! I'm telling mom!" A skinny blonde boy wearing similar black rimmed glasses as his father, shot up from where he'd been lounging on the porch swing and yelled. He yanked the screen door open and ran into the house yelling, "Mom!! Dad's teaching River curse words again!"
"Jimmy!" River yelled after him. A moment later a woman appeared in the doorway, she was a cross between Janis Joplin and Malibu Barbie if that was at all possible. Her long wavy sun-bleached blonde hair hung down to almost her hips, her skin a deep tan from a lifetime of living near the beach, wearing layers of multi-colored scarves and beaded necklaces over a peasant blouse and bright blue bellbottoms.
River raised one shaking hand to her mouth choking back a sobbed, "Mom."
"Tommy McGregor! That is your four year old daughter not one of your Marine grunts!" she said, fingers wrapped around her round hips in a very River-like stance. Tommy hung is head in mock shame and shot his daughter a wink.
"Well, Miss Daisy Marie you know I ain't nothin' but a hound dog," he said in his best Elvis drawl. Daisy rolled her eyes, again a very River like move, and spun back into the house scarves trailing behind her and beaded jewelry clanking. "Come help me finish packing!" she yelled over her shoulder at her husband.
Tommy looked down again to the memory of his little girl, "Alright River-monster lets go help Ma'." He limped back into the house leaving River crying quietly and the Winchesters standing unsurely behind her.
"Sweetheart, we gotta find the road before Zachariah catches up with us," Dean said touching her arm gently.
She wiped her face and nodded, "I couldn't …I couldn't remember their voices or what they looked like." Music drifted out through the still open front door as River led them into the house. Four duffel bags sat by the front door. The rest of the house was bare, furniture gone, half filled boxes of junk left here and there. "Umm…looks like they already sold or pawned everything to buy the RV and gas money." River searched her memory for anything useful. Jimmy ran by yelling at River to follow him to the Death Star. She sniffed loudly and wiped her face again, "Dad used to have car magazines. There's gotta be some around here somewhere." Her mom and dad were dancing in the kitchen while Elvis crooned 'Can't help falling in love' from Tommy's beat up silver and black turntable. Jimmy sat at the table, a half eaten peanut-butter banana sandwich in front of him talking animatedly to to the empty chair across from him. They each choose a cardboard box and started sifting though the contents.
"Found something," Sam called after a few minutes. He waived a dog eared issue of 'Car and Driver' at them.
"I'm sick of this shit," River muttered as her family home disappeared and was replaced by a waiting room of some kind. "Where the fuck are we now?" she asked no one in particular as she scanned the waiting room, which was full of women in various stages of pregnancy including herself. Her hands were nervously rubbing circles on her huge stomach, feet bouncing impatiently on the tile floor. "Gotta pee-gotta pee-gotta pee," she was humming. "Don't laugh at me Winchester. You're giant fucking babies are playing kickball with my bladder right now," she elbowed the invisible space next her. "I think we should ask them about inducing me. If we get admitted to the hospital tonight I can pop these suckers out by tomorrow morning…I'm not giving up. I just want you to see them."
"River Singer!" yelled a woman in baby pink scrubs. The hunters turned towards the voice as she greeted River and the empty space next to her. River had a death grip on the air next to her. "My, my you look like they've dropped a bit since your last appointment. Are you sleeping better?"
"Yeah sure," River muttered.
" Mmm-hmm…and this is dad. Dean, right? How 'bout you dad, you sleeping ok? She's gonna need a lot of help in a couple of weeks." The nurse prattled on as she led them away from the waiting room.
"I don't want to go back there," River told Sam and Dean quietly.
Dean ran his hand over his jaw and looked out the office window, "Street ain't out there. This place had a back exit, remember. Come on." They walked down the long hallway towards the back of the office looking for the red 'Exit' sign. River took off ahead of them at a clipped pace, wanting out of the office as quickly as possible.
"When was this?" Sam asked. He hadn't gone to very many of the doctors visits and had never been anywhere but the waiting room. The exam rooms were small and the office only allowed two people in the room at a time besides the doctor or nurse. Sam and Bobby had never intruded on River and Dean's short times during the ultrasounds, knowing if they didn't find a way to get Dean out of his deal this would be the only times he ever got to see his sons.
"Three days before my deal was up," Dean answered. "Exit's around this way." River had continued walking down the hallway and disappeared into one of the rooms. Dean found the room she had drifted into. She stood silently in front of a TV monitor, arms wrapped tightly around her self as the sound of her sons heart beats filled the room and their black and white images appeared on the screen. Her pregnant self lay on the table answering the nurses questions. The brothers stood on either side of her watching as the boys stretched their tiny little arms and kicked their legs.
"Wow," Sam said after a moment. "They so look so perfect."
River nodded. Her memory told Dean, "Look what we made." She glanced over her shoulder at herself, she hadn't watched the monitor during that visit but instead had watched Dean as he stood silently memorizing the images on the screen.
Dean squeezed her hand, "We gotta go, sweetheart." They followed Dean out of the exam room and to the exit door. "If the road could just be out here, that'd be great." He said as pushed open the door. For once there was actually a road waiting for them. Where ever they were it was new to River and it was dark. An old shuttered house with a wildly overgrown yard was behind them hidden mostly in dark shadows. The two lanes of asphalt stretched out in either direction in front of them. Sam looked over his shoulder at his brother then down to River's wandering face.
She looked up at the brothers, "So which way to Emerald City?"
"Lets-lets just keep going this way," Sam said nervously. "Come on." He turned to walk down the dark road.
"Wait a minute…" Dean called. He looked back at the dark house then to his brother. "No. Not This? Is this the night you left for Stanford?" Sam nodded. "This is a good memory to you? This is your idea of heaven?"
Sam shifted uncomfortably under his older brothers angry glare, "I'm not picking these memories. But yeah, ok? This is a happy memory. I was free, Dean. Finally free of Dad."
"Free of dad? This was one of the worst nights of my life," Dean said quietly. "You ditched your family. You left in the middle of the night without a fucking word-" He snapped his mouth shut and shook his head. River rubbed her arms self-consciously as the brothers argued. "Your heaven is someone else's Thanksgiving; it's running away from your family. What the hell, dude?"
Sam shrugged his shoulders, "What do you want me to say, Dean? I didn't get the crusts cut off my PB and J. I didn't have a mom and dad slow dancing to Elvis in the kitchen. I don't have the same attachment to family as you guys…"
"We're you're family, Sam," Dean yelled.
Sam nodded, "I know. I know you both are."
"It's supposed to be us versus the world," Dean told him.
"It is." Sam said. "Dean, it is."
"Is it?" Dean asked.
River stepped between them. "I think we should probably keep walking." She said reaching for Dean's hand.
He wrapped his hand around hers, "Fine. Lets find this dickbag and get the hell back to our bodies." Zachariah's blinding white searchlight suddenly lit up shining directly on Dean and River. "Shit! Run, run, run!" Dean yelled spinning away from the light and pulling River behind him, Sam was close on their heels as they tore through the trees, ducking under and around branches. The light continued to follow them.
A fireball landed a few hundred feet away in a clearing of trees and Zachariah's smug voice called out, "Are you idiots really trying to run from an Angel while in Heaven?" The trio dove down a steep embankment and crawled over a fallen log. "How 'bout we turn the lights on?" Zachariah snapped his fingers and it was as suddenly as bright as midday. The Angel stood at the top of the embankment they had slid down. "Come on guys, enough already. Just come out so I can send you boys home and we can get the show on the road." The Angel flapped his invisible wings and a cloud of dirt and debris blew over them. Dean silently nodded to the other two as they scrambled up and took off running again. Zachariah landed a few feet in front of them. "Well I hope you three had a pleasant stroll down memory lane. Dean, Sam it's time to go back. River you've shuffled the mortal coil for the last time and I can't say I'm surprised you died naked and face down in a puddle of your own blood." The Angel crossed his arms over his chest and gave her a twitchy rat-like smile and River had the urge to try and claw his eyes out.
"Fuck you, Zach, " Dean yelled."Run!"
They tore off into the thick trees leaving Zachariah sighing loudly. "Really? More running?"
The hunters zigged and zagged through the forest. River dodged around a particularly large tree and ran into a Luchador. "Who's fucking head did you crawl out of?" She asked backing away from the man.
The masked man brushed his long red cape over his shoulder and asked, "Where are Dean and Sam?" Heavy foot steps and the sound of ripping foliage announced their arrival.
"Who the hell are you?" Dean demanded. The masked wrestler held a finger to his mouth to silence them.
"Follow me. Quickly," he beckoned them through the dense underbrush until they found a partially hidden metal door. He scribbled a sigil on the door in chalk and then wrenched it open. "Come, come." He said over his shoulder. The bothers stepped into the dark building first with River close behind.
"Hey, who are you?" Sam asked. The masked man clapped his hands and the lights overhead turned on. He pulled the mask and cape off and dropped them to the floor while simultaneously shaking out his glorious hair.
"Buenos Dias, bitches and Señorita," he smiled running his fingers through his blonde mullet.
"Ash?" Dean asked. Ash had been the bar tender at Ellen Harvelles' roadhouse before it had been burned to the ground by a group of demons with Ash and a dozen other hunters inside.
"The one and only, muchacho. Welcome to my blue heaven," he smiled proudly. "Y'all want a beer?"
River looked around at the pool tables, the jukebox, and the old blood stains on the wood floor. "Where the hell are we? And could someone please tell me who the hell you are?"
Dean grabbed her hand and led her towards the bar, "This is Ash. He used to work with Ellen and Jo. This was their place before Ellen got back into hunting." River nodded and took the ice cold beer Ash had slid across the polished bar top towards her.
"Well, nice to meet you even though it's under these circumstance….you know being dead and all," River smiled and drank her beer.
Ash smiled, "Oh we've met before, River. Angel radio went bonkers when you flatlined. Barely had time to get you here and share a cold one before some blonde guy showed up and you bailed."
River shook her head and looked at Dean, "I don't remember any of that."
"Yeah, well Ash you said this was your heaven? The Roadhouse?" Dean asked taking a long drink from his own beer.
Ash nodded, "Yep. My own personal. Thats how it works up here. Once your done with your greatest hits you get dropped into your favorite memory for eternity."
"I thought heaven was a bitchin' cocktail mixer…" River said.
"Nope, think of Heaven like Disneyland. Over there you got Winchester land, then River land over yonder and right here we got Ash land. And at the very center is the Magic Kingdom, the garden," Ash told them.
"So, everyone's heaven is separate? We are all alone in here?"
Ash belched and nodded, "Yeah, to each man, woman, child and in-between their own Private Idaho."
"But you, you were out there roaming around. You were looking for Sam and Dean. You said you found me after I died." River said running the cold can between her fingers ruminating quietly on the new perception of heaven.
"Most people can't get out and tiptoe through other peoples daisies." Ash told her.
Sam smiled, "But you're not most people?"
"Bingo. I got my own very special skill set. Valedictorian at MIT. Penchant for learning languages. Number one snake handler for my congregation. To name a few," he smiled raising his eyebrows at River.
Dean put his hand on hers, "We're all going home after we get to the Garden."
"How? Cas hasn't got the juice to fix a broken bone. He can't resurrect me. Zachariah sure as hell won't. My numbers up. I'm stuck here," she said quietly.
Sam turned towards her, "We'll figure something out."
"It ain't so bad you know. And you won't be alone. Hell, I'll come grab you for brewskis and pool if you want," Ash told her unhelpfully.
"Those stupid assholes….does the jukebox work?" She asked Ash.
"Yep. Don't even need quarters," he replied smiling. River got up from the bar and headed for the flashing juke in the far corner of the bar.
"How do we get to the garden from here?" Sam asked. Ash cracked another beer open and waived them towards his science fair worthy lap top. Bits and pieces of various computer and video game modules had been welded together to make the machine. Hundreds of lines of white frequencies bounced around the screen.
Ash tapped the screen, "Those are the Angels. They're talking about you three." River picked an album and David Bowie started singing over the bars speakers.
"You understand Enochian?" River asked him.
"I'm fluent in it actually. How about you?"
"I know a little. It was hard to learn it. If Gabriel accidentally used his true voice he would have made my head explode." River said listening to the tinny, musical like notes humming from the computer screen. "Their voices are muted on that; that's amazing. You've cut their true voices down to a frequencies humans can hear. Only their true vessels are usually able to hear them…there that bitch just mentioned me." She tapped a fingernail on a wavering line.
"What the hell do you use this for?" Sam asked him.
"Sometimes to just listen to the chatter…sometimes it helps me find people I want to mingle with. I've visited Johnny Cash, Ghandi, the dude that wrote the Kama Sutra." Ash answered.
Dean leaned towards the screen, "You find Jo and Ellen on this thing. I think they'd like to know you're hanging out permanently in their bar."
"Jo and Ellen?" Ash shook his head then ran his hands through his mullet again, "You mean…they…They went down fighting?"
Sam nodded, "Until the end. They saved our lives."
Ash sat silent for several breaths. "Guess I gotta add them to my list." He suddenly pushed himself away from the computer and snapped his fingers, "Damn. Almost forgot! I did, however, find someone that wanted to have a chitchat with you two the next time you dropped in." Ash walked towards a swinging door, pulled a piece of chalk out of his jeans and scribbled another sigil on the door.
"What do you mean next time they dropped in? What the hell does that mean Ash?" River yelled at him.
He turned and smiled over his shoulder, "Those two die more than anyone else I've ever met. Each time they drop in they can't remember the last time they've been here." He disappeared behind the swinging door and River's mouth dropped open. She only had one concrete memory of Dean dying and that was when the Hellhounds killed him. Sam, she had never witnessed die. She knew the brothers had seen the other die a few times; Dean being killed in a thousand different and terrible ways when Gabriel stuck them in a time loop and Sam most recently when Anna stabbed him after they traveled to the past to try and save their parents.
"How many times do you two think you've been resurrected?" River asked.
"I don't want to know," Dean answered. Ash came back through the swinging door bringing with him a long lost friend. Pamela Brown, psychic extraordinaire sauntered into the room. Her dark brown curly hair bouncing with each step, her chestnut eyes bright and clear and she smiled coyly at the trio of hunters.
"Well, hello there." She said.
River jumped off her bar stool and ran to her friend, "Pam! Pam, oh my god!" She embraced the psychic tightly, "Girl, you look fucking fantastic. For being dead and all…"
Pam laughed, "You don't look so bad yourself for apparently also being dead." She turned to each of the brothers and gave them a quick hug and a pat on the ass. Sam smiled nervously as the woman gave him a flirty wink. "Get us some drinks, Ash," she called over her shoulder to the shorter man. Pam hooked her arms through Dean and River's and led them towards a table next to Ash's laptop. Sam sat back down in front of the computer glancing at the wavering lines of Angelic frequency. Ash sat shots of whiskey in front of everyone and then continued to type code into his computer. "First off," Pamela said knocking back her shot of whiskey, "Screw the lot of you for getting me killed."
River sipped her whiskey, "Yeah, we're getting pretty good at getting our friends killed."
Dean smiled, "Hey, we got Ash here killed way before we even met either one of you."
"I'm cool with being dead," Ash yelled in between taps on the keyboard.
Pamela gave Dean another flirty smile, "I didn't say I was mad. I just said screw you. You told me I was going somewhere better."
Dean shrugged, "It what's your supposed to say to people who are dying."
The psychic put her hand over Dean's, "You were right. I did go somewhere better. I'm at a never ending show at the Meadowlands. It's amazing. You two should come see it."
River pushed the rest of her whiskey away, "Spending eternity in your own little universe with nothing but memories, with shadows. That's not heaven that's the fucking Matrix."
Pamela turned her dark eyes on River, "Once you're really checked in you won't know the difference. If you do get bored Ash here has lots of ways to keep things interesting."
"I don't want to be checked in. I want to go home," River told her.
Dean drank the rest of River's whiskey and said, "I gotta side with Riv on this one Pam. This isn't real, sure it's a nice copy but real is down there."
"Down there's not gonna be too much fun for very much longer though, right?" Pam said. "Not if Lucifer has his way."
"What do you want us to do?" Dean asked.
Pamela shrugged her shoulders, "I know Michael wants to take you for a test drive. All I'm asking is what the worst that happens?"
"A lot of people die," Dean answered immediately.
"And all those people come here. For eternity in everlasting peace and happiness…or they stay down there and suffer while the Horseman dredge up every terrible thing they can imagine to make Earth a living hell."
"And what about Dean?" River asked her.
Pamela held her hands up, "All I'm saying is maybe Dean doesn't have to fight so hard."
River opened her mouth to respond when Ash called, "I found you a direct path to the Garden." She gave Dean a tight smile before they stood up from the table to join Ash and Sam at the swinging door that led elsewhere.
"Before you go again," Pam said smiling, she brushed her long curly hair over her shoulder and raised her eyebrows questioningly at River. "Do you mind?"
River smiled, "I guess I owe you one for letting you get killed." Pam ran her tongue along her lower lip and looked at Dean like she about to swallow him whole.
Dean took a tentative step back and ran into the wall behind him. "Wait…what?" Pam ran her hands along the lapels of his jacket, grabbed them tightly and stood on the tips of her toes to reach his lips. Dean's green eyes shot open as Pam nibbled his bottom lip and tilted her head pushing her lips firmer against his. Dean stood still as a statue, his cheeks turning bright pink as he finally met River's eyes. She held a hand over her mouth and was trying unsuccessfully to not laugh at Dean's shocked face.
Pam finally pulled away smiling, "Just how I imagined."
Dean nodded shyly and cleared his throat, "Ok then…I guess we should get going."
Ash shook their hands, "Well I shouldn't say this but I'll probably be seeing you soon." They walked through the doorway and as it swung shut behind them they found themselves not in a Garden of any sort but back in the Winchester's childhood home. This time though it was night, the house quiet and dark.
"What the hell are we doing back home?" Dean asked. "God damn it, Ash."
"Honey, what are you doing up?" Mary called softly behind them. She padded into the room almost silently in her white fleece socks, her long blonde hair loose and tousled with sleep. "Did you have a nightmare?" she asked.
"I love you, mom. I do. But this is not real and we don't have time for this," Dean told her as he walked towards the front door.
Mary cocked her head to the side, "Let me tell you about my nightmare Dean." Dean and the others stopped and turned back to Mary. "It was the night I burned." Blood soaked through Mary's white nightgown, dripping down her legs and pooled at her feet.
River grabbed for Dean's arm, "What the shit is this?"
Mary stepped towards them and continued talking, "The night I burned. The smell…I thought I had forgot a roast in the oven untilI I realized it was me. My hair caught fire and my eyelashes…I never loved you. You were a burden-"
"Enough! Stop it!" River yelled pulling Dean towards the door. "We need to get the hell out of here." The house shook, a loud 'clang' echoed as every door and window was suddenly replaced by a wall of bricks. "Fuck," she breathed turning back towards Mary who continued to spew vile, hateful things at Dean.
"I think thats quite enough, Kitten." Zachariah said appearing behind Mary placing a hand on her shoulder possessively.
"You did this to her," Dean yelled pointing a finger at Zachariah.
The Angel nodded, "Oh and I'm just getting started. You idiots think you can sneak past mission control?" He laughed and clapped his hands, three more angels appeared behind the hunters each grabbing one of them and Mary disappeared. "Lets get down to business shall we."
"We've heard your song and dance, Zach. The answers still no," Dean told him.
"I used to be somebody. I would walk the halls of Heaven and others would avert their eyes. And now because of you two pissants…this is your opportunity to end this now. Say yes to Michael, Dean. Help him smite Lucifer and save the ones you love."
Dean shook his head, "Fuck off, baldy."
Zachariah smiled broadly, "I can keep you here for as long as I need to. Your meat sacks down there will rot but I can fix them when you're ready."
"You think havin' my mom say mean things to me is gonna make say yes to being an Archangel condom? You're wasting your time," Dean muttered.
"Yes, well now I seem to have a bit more leverage on you. You're in my yard now kids. My rules. Down there, everything is so limited. You are limited but here…" Zachariah waived his hand and the Angel holding River shoved her forwards. "You know up here we don't just have access to your good memories. We can also pick through all your bad ones." He reached one hand out and ran it down River's face, she flinched away from the Angels touch. "How about we make River replay her worst memory over and over and over and then we'll see what your answer is?" Zachariah snapped his fingers and River sagged forward, her stomach suddenly bulging and heavy.
"No -no -no-no-no," she whispered backing away from him. Her hands went protectively to her hugely pregnant stomach, she felt the babies inside of her kick. "Please don't do this-" her voice cracked. "Zachariah please don't do this to me." She begged, her voice tight as she tried to choke back panicked sobs.
"I'm not doing this to you. He is." Zachariah answered. He snapped his fingers and River fell to her knees as unbelievable pain ripped through her. Invisible claws were ripping and tearing her apart from the inside as hot blood and amniotic fluid gushed through her jeans and splattered onto the floor between her legs. She threw her head back and screamed. Zachariah's smiled widened and he stepped back from the growing pool of blood not wanting to get any of it on his shoes.
Dean squeezed his eyes shut and blanched, "Not real. Not real." River continued to scream.
"Stop it!" Sam yelled.
"What's your answer, Dean?" Zachariah asked over River's screams of agony. Dean kept his eyes shut and shook his head. "Well then, I can keep this up forever. What about you, River?" She didn't answer. "No? Probably too noisy... Did you know she could hear them Dean? Hear your sons screaming as Lilith ripped them apart? She never told you that, did she?"
"Enough, Zachariah." A firm voice commanded. The house trembled slightly as another figure joined them. The pain tormenting River ended, the blood was gone, her pregnant stomach returned to its normal size and she took a deep shuddering breath. Zacharaiah looked at the unassuming older man that stood quietly between him and the humans.
"Who the hell are you?" He demanded.
"I need to talk privately with them. If you don't mind," the man told him.
"Actually I do mind," Zachariah replied.
The man gave Zachariah a benevolent smile, "Then I have to insist. You see the Boss demands it. Who are you to stand in the way of His Will? It might make Him cranky. You know how he gets when's he cranky. And when he does come home I wouldn't want to be in the way of all that pent up wrath."
Zachariah sneered at the stranger then turned his angry eyes towards River, "We aren't done here." Then he and his goons were gone. The man reached one hand down to River and she grasped it letting the man pull her to her feet.
Dean rushed forwards and pulled her tightly to his chest, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He murmured into her hair.
"Who are you?" Sam asked the man.
"I'm Joshua. I heard you were looking for me," he said quietly.
Dean let go of River, "You ok?" She nodded weakly.
"Ms. McGregor, I do apologize for Zachariah's behavior. I can send you on your way now. What I have to say is only meant for them," Joshua told her.
River shook her head, "No. Send me back, please. Joshua, please I don't want to stay here alone."
Joshua ran a hand along her cheek in the same way Zachariah did; unlike the vile touch of Zachariah, Joshua's hand felt warm and comforting, "You are never alone, child. Now go." With the quiet command River disappeared.
"No! Where did you send her?" Dean yelled at the Angel.
Joshua looked up at Sam and Dean, their house dissolved and was replaced with lush plants in every shade of green imaginable. Flowers of every species bloomed around them, pressing in on a stone walkway they stood on. "You had something you wanted to discuss?" he asked the brothers.
River's eyes shot open and she coughed painfully, taking a deep breath with lungs that hadn't been used in several hours. She had a view of the dusty underside of a bed, a long forgotten pair of women's underwear lay in a crumpled ball near the wall. She pushed herself up to her knees, several chunks of avocado green carpet fibers were stuck to the dried blood on her chest. She wiped at the smear of blood looking for the wound that had killed her and found nothing but intact flesh. "What the fuck just happened, Dean?" she asked. "Dean?" she asked again jumping to her feet. Dean was still sprawled on the bed, his skin mottled and purple, his eyes partially rolled into the back of his head. His torso a bloody mess of buckshot. "Sam? Sammy?" she yelled. Sam was in the same condition as his brother. "No. No. Why aren't you back? Why aren't you back?" she yelled at their dead bodies. River found her cellphone on the nightstand, covered in congealed blood but still working. She tried to call Castiel but got a 'Caller is out of service area' message. She sat on the bed next to Dean's dead body and took his cold, stiff fingers in her hand and told him, "I need a shower hot stuff."
Sam woke up first, spluttering and coughing as he drew in a deep breath. Dean followed a few seconds later. They met each others eyes before looking down to the empty spot on the floor where River should have been. "River?" Dean yelled.
She opened the bathroom door her hair thrown over her shoulder as she twisted it into a braid, "Hey, welcome back."
Dean jumped up from the bed and rushed towards her. "You alright?" he asked pulling up on her shirt. His laid a hand on her chest wanting to see and feel she was in one piece.
"Define alright?" she replied.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Dean asked her quietly resting his forehead on hers. His hand trailed down from her chest to rest on her stomach.
"You have enough to shoulder, Dean. This is mine." River told him, "It doesn't change anything. You can't let them use me against you."
He leaned down and kissed her gently, running his lips over, "We're in this together, remember?"
"What did Joshua tell you?" Castiel asked announcing his return to their service area. He looked around the bloody mess of the room. Sam sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. Castiel looked tired and drained. He had dark circles under his eyes and he slouched under the tan fabric of his trench coat.
Dean looked down at the bloody, bullet hole riddled shirt he till wore. "Well, seems like Lemmy was right 'cause God ain't on our side, pal." River sagged into the wall.
"What do you mean?" Castiel asked.
"I mean, Joshua told us God isn't coming to help. He staying on the sidelines for this one. We're on our own, Cas." Dean told him pulling his shirt over his head and tossing it on the bloody bed.
Castiel shook his head, "No. Maybe-maybe Joshua was lying."
"I don't think he was, Cas." Sam told him. Castiel ran his hands along his jaw.
"You son of a bitch," he said angrily. "I believed in you! I served you! This is how you repay us!" he yelled. He punched the wall and the whole room shook causing River to yelp in surprise. The Angel took a deep breath and flicked his invisible wings causing the lamps to flicker. "Here," he growled reaching into one of his pockets, "I promised I would return it. It's useless to me now." He held Dean's amulet in front of him.
Dean took his necklace back, "Thanks…I guess." He looked at the ugly copper head that had been a fixture around his neck for twenty years. It had been one of his most cherished possessions and now all he saw was another symbol of failure. Castiel turned away from them.
"Cas! Wait!" River called out. She saw his shoulders tense then he was gone; one of the lamps on the nightstand exploded . "Shit…I don't think he's ok."
"Well, neither are we sweetheart." Dean answered.
Sam stared at the empty spot and slightly charred piece of carpet Cas had left behind, "We can still do this, Dean. We can stop this."
"How?" Dean asked running the amulet between his fingers.
"I don't know. But we can." Sam answered.
"We'll find something, Dean. We'll figure something out," River said as Dean dug around in his duffle bag for a clean shirt. He pulled it over his head and stared at her.
"Let's blow this popsicle stand, Princess." He slung their duffle bags over his shoulder and headed for the motel room door. River rubbed her palms into her eyes tiredly and watched as Dean dropped his necklace into the trashcan beside the door. Sam's face fell as the door slammed shut.
River hugged him, "We'll find a way. Something that doesn't end in him saying 'yes' to Michael. No matter what happens, we can't let him say yes."
"You're not worried about me saying yes to Lucifer?" Sam asked her. She laughed finding no humor in that scenario and pushed him away.
"Honestly, yeah I'm fucking terrified of it," she told him. "It kind of feels like you two are in a race to see who says 'yes' first. But Dean…we both know he won't let you get to the finish line first."