A/N: You can get mad at me. I wrote 38 pages to make up for lack of updates.
Chapter 16
Broken (Part 5): Firsts
Panting, Frederick slowed down the treadmill before coming to a complete stop. He climbed down, grabbing his phone and water bottle. The drink of water was a nice reward to his morning run. But his mind was still hectic. A mess. His attention was being diverted and plagued by a woman that was too young for him.
He unlocked his phone and opened their conversation. Their text history was one-sided and reflected more of Robin's efforts than his.
There's an excellent restaurant on the east end…
Frederick stopped. He erased the text message and pocketed his phone. This wasn't appropriate. Nor was it proper to ask someone out over text. Preposterous.
The regulars that came to the gym nodded their heads in acknowledgment as he left the gym. He waited for the elevator to come up, so he could head back to his apartment, shower, and get ready for work. Meanwhile the elevator floor numbers counted up, he pulled out his phone again. And then shoved it back into his pocket again. The elevator dinged and opened, reminding him to get on with his day. He also needed groceries.
They barely knew each other, but his curiosity grew. He found himself waiting and looking forward to her texts. The urge to see her festered inside him. Maybe he just needed a good lay to get it out of his system. It had been a while since he had last been with a woman. But the question remained. If the unspoken rule didn't stand, would he have been more open to Robin's bold advances?
Frederick finished the rest of his merlot and set his glass on the coffee table. His non-fiction book about knighthood during the Falchion era wasn't drawing him in. He sighed and placed his bookmark in his book before closing it and setting that aside too.
He needed another glass of wine. Frederick grabbed his glass and headed to the kitchen. The bottle of wine was on the counter, where he left it. The bottle made a pop when he yanked off the cork.
Robin mentioned she liked a nice red.
He poured himself his third glass. This infatuation would pass. He just needed to wait it out.
Besides, they had a huge age gap.
On Wednesday, Robin came up to his floor. She made a straight, determined line to Vaike's desk. The bright colours of her clothes flowered on the more conservative floor of marketing.
She placed a tablet in front of Vaike and pointed at it. The blond man leaned back into his chair as they talked. Robin swiped through the tablet and explained something to Vaike.
They talked for a while. He said something. She said something. He said something again. She laughed. He said something that made her smile fall and her brows rise. Vaike must've asked her out for drinks.
Frederick got up from his seat and pulled open his door. "Miss Grima!" She turned around to find who called her. When she saw him, he waved her over. "A moment of your time please."
She collected her tablet from Vaike's table and rushed over to his office. He held the door open for her to enter. Once she was inside, he released the door and it swung shut.
"Hello, Director Knight," said Robin, hugging the tablet to her chest. "What…What can I do for you?"
He thought fast. "I wanted to check in with you."
"That's very kind of you."
"How are things?"
"Depends."
The corner of his mouth tugged. "That's a peculiar answer."
"Director Knight, you must've clued in by now that I'm a peculiar person."
Frederick lightly laughed. She was nice to be around. "Do you need any help with anything, Miss Grima?"
"Actually, I'd like to run some ideas with you for the new phone."
"The Falchion?"
"Yeah. When do you have time?"
"Let me check my schedule." Frederick walked behind desk, pushing his chair aside. He clicked on his calendar on his desktop. His secretary, Carson, had packed his schedule. There was even a meeting he had to be at in the next ten minutes. "This week might be tough. Maybe we can schedule in something on the Tuesday two weeks later?"
"Or we could meet Friday night or for lunch on the weekend, unless you have business meetings then too," said Robin.
Oh. He got it now.
Frederick blinked, slowly straightening up. Robin bit her lip, holding her breath.
"I'm not asking you out if that's what you're worried about," Robin blurted. "Just business. And I owe you for the burgers last time."
Where was the harm in two colleagues meeting to talk about work? This wasn't going to go further than being acquaintances anyway. He would let her exhaust her infatuation, and he would prove to himself that 'they' were a terrible idea.
"Saturday lunch work for you?" said Frederick.
"Huh?"
"Lunch on Saturday. To discuss the ideas you had in mind."
"Oh, right." Robin nodded with the widest grin Frederick had ever seen.
He smiled back.
"Sweet, okay. I'll see you then!" Robin exclaimed. She turned to leave, but in the excitement, she forgot to open the door and slammed right into glass door. Everyone outside stopped doing their work and zeroed into Frederick's office.
"Are you okay?" Frederick rushed over to Robin.
Laughing, she nodded. "I'm fine. Oh gods. That was so embarrassing. Please don't look at me." Her face glowed red.
"Are you sure?" asked Frederick. "You hit the door pretty hard."
"Yeah, completely fine." She continued to laugh to herself before she excused herself and escaped.
Frederick watched Robin's retreating figure. They hadn't even decided on a time or place. He went back to his desk to grab his leather folder to head to his next meeting. As he left, he chuckled. Then his chuckle grew into a hearty laugh in the elevator. He hadn't laughed that hard in ages.
Later that day, he got a text asking where he wanted to go.
The waiter set his cup of earl grey in front of him. Frederick thanked him and added a dash of milk and spoon of sugar to the tea. He stirred the tea with the accompanying spoon. Sipping his tea washed a comforting warmth over him. It calmed his nerves.
When was the last time he felt this discomfort?
He filed through his memories. Irene was his last girlfriend, but their relationship ended when they both fell out of love. But that was a couple years back. Mum had nagged him about settling down every phone call ever since.
The bell on the door rang. His gaze shot over to the entrance. A short, round man with a receding hairline entered. Not Robin.
Frederick relaxed and drank his tea. His eyes shot over to the entrance every time the bell rang though. It wasn't until the eighth ring that Robin arrived.
Robin's hair was pulled back into a ponytail and she wore a pair of light blue jeans and a flowy tank that was a dandelion yellow. She looked around to find him. When she spotted him, she waved. She walked over with a portfolio bag hanging on her shoulder.
"Hey, Director Knight." Robin sat down in her chair. Her smile was brighter than her shirt.
"Miss Grima." Frederick smiled back.
"Am I late?" Robin checked her phone.
"No, you're on time."
"I brought my notes!" She exclaimed, unzipping her bag.
"Why don't we talk after we meet?" suggested Frederick.
"Hmm?" Robin looked up from her bag. Her eyes fell on the menu. "Oh, have you ordered yet?"
"Just tea."
"I need coffee." She smiled at the waiter, and he came over.
"What can I get you?" asked the waiter.
"Just a coffee."
Robin sipped her coffee as her eyes scanned the menu. She took longer than him to decide, but he didn't mind. They placed their orders with the waiter and passed their time with conversation until their food arrived.
"How's your week been?" asked Frederick.
"Busy. Yours?" replied Robin.
"Busy."
"Vaike showed me some of the drafts for the marketing plan for the new phone. They look good."
"It wasn't hard considering how great the product you've designed is."
She smiled, tucking her hair behind her ear. "Thank you. Beginner's luck."
"If the numbers are correct, this will be the flagship for next year."
"I'm crossing my fingers." She grinned. "It's quite an honour that you think so highly of my work. I heard that it's rather difficult to earn your praise from you."
"Oh?"
Robin laughed. "I'm not revealing who told me that."
Frederick chuckled and said, "It's best to ignore rumours."
"You can say that again."
Their food arrived and Robin was eager to dig in. She cut curiously into the chicken stacked on a medley of cubed late summer vegetables. She stabbed the chicken and skewered on a couple more vegetables before dipping it in the glaze that circled the plate. Her movements were graceful and implied appreciation for the chef's efforts. Unlike when she devoured the hamburgers last time they dined together, she took the bite and chewed with a delicacy that suggested that she had had her own fair share of fine dining.
"Good?" asked Frederick.
Robin looked up from her food. "Yeah, not bad. Sorry. I just really love food."
"Who doesn't?"
"No, like you know how there are two types of people? People who eat to live and people who live to eat? I'm the latter. I love food. Life is too short to not eat good food, as my mom has said. Which one are you?" she asked before taking another savouring bite.
"I would have to say I'm in between. I was an athlete for a long time, so I had to be careful with what I ate. But once I stopped competing competitively, I started to cook for personal enjoyment and taste."
"You cook?"
"You sound surprised."
"No, I meant no offense." She laughed, shaking her head. "A lot of the guys I know can't cook to save their lives. But then again, a lot of my girlfriends can't either. So maybe it's a generational thing?"
"I couldn't tell you," said Frederick.
"What'd you play?" asked Robin, leaning in. "You should also eat before I steal a bite."
Frederick stopped himself before answering the question. He wasn't always comfortable with sharing that he played rugby professionally.
"Team sports." He dug into his own plate of sea bass and artichoke.
"Vague, but okay. I think the only sports I really did was ballet when I was a kid? Mom forced me. I know there's a huge debate about whether e-sports should be considered a sport, but I wanted to go pro. My parents thought it was stupid and told me to go to university instead."
Frederick raised a brow. "E-sports?"
"Video games."
"Do you still play?" he asked.
"Nah. No time. So, what do you like to do during your free time?"
"I'm not very interesting."
Robin leaned in. "I doubt that. Try me."
"I read."
"Fiction? Non-fiction?"
"Mostly non-fiction."
"Nice."
"I have a list of documentaries I'm going through."
"That's awesome. I love documentaries. It's like knowledge porn."
Frederick laughed at her interesting choice of words. "Sure."
"Do you also enjoy long walks on a beach?" teased Robin, leaning on her elbow. Her eyes twinkled at him.
"Those are great, but I'd much prefer hiking or camping."
"Ah, an outdoorsy man."
"What do you do for fun?"
"Does sleep count?"
Frederick couldn't tell if she was kidding. "I don't know if that counts as fun."
"Hmm, then…" She paused in deep thought before lighting up. "Lately, I like seeing you for fun."
Robin reached over and took a piece of his fish. She tried it and hummed in approval. "That's good." She pointed at his dish with a fork. "Oh, you know, I think we need to meet up for again later. I think your wise insight would be beneficial for my professional growth."
"Do you now?"
"I do. I heard that there's this fantastic Chon'sin dumpling restaurant that opened up downtown. Maybe we could meet on a busy weekday and blend in with the crowd?"
Frederick should've said no. But he didn't.
"That sounds nice."
And it was the unceremonious start of a series of unlabeled meetings.
Robin had been very, extremely, absolutely clear that she was not a morning person. Her brain didn't function quite well before 10:00 am, unless she had caffeine, and even then. But after a couple secret dates, Robin told him to surprise with their next 'date' or whatever these meetings were. She complained that eating out this much late at night to avoid being seen together was ruining her waistline.
The early morning roads were still lit by street lights. He had texted Robin that he was on his way and she had responded to one of his ten texts, which was an oddity. At a red light, he gave her a call via the car's sound system. It rang until her voicemail. Frederick pressed a button on the car's touch screen and hung up.
Maybe she fell back asleep? He didn't know which unit she lived in.
When he pulled up at her apartment, he had his answer. Frederick chuckled and a warm feeling stirred in his chest. There was a curled up figure sitting on the stairs leading up to her apartment.
Frederick parked the car on the street and hopped out. He walked up to the hooded blob. Then, he squatted in front of it.
"Robin," he whispered.
"Ten more minutes…" she murmured.
"Robin, I brought coffee for you. It's in the car," said Frederick.
"Coffee?" Her head swung up. The hoodie drawstring had been tightened to only show only the center of her face and tied into a bow.
Frederick laughed. How was she so adorable?
She pushed the top of the hood up to get a better look. Her eyes widened. "Frederick."
"Good morning, Robin. You fell asleep on the steps of your apartment," said Frederick.
"Don't look at me," she mumbled, tugging the hood further. "It was too hard to put makeup on."
"Should we get going?" Frederick offered his hand, but Robin got up on her own.
Yawning, she dragged her feet to the white SUV parked on the road. Once she was in the car, she asked. "Where is my coffee?"
Frederick plucked the travel mug from the cup holder and handed it to Robin. She popped the tab and inhaled it. "Oh gods," she moaned. "It smells so good."
"Don't forget your seatbelt."
"Yes, sir." She clipped in her seatbelt.
The sounded of Robin's sleepy sips and the radio filled their absent conversation. It wasn't until at least fifteen minutes later, the travel mug clicked shut and she placed it in the cup holder.
Frederick glanced over at her. "All ready to start the day?"
"You're lucky I like you this much. I don't even get up this early for my best friends," grumbled Robin.
He chuckled. "Much appreciated."
"Damn right. The sun isn't even out yet. Where are we going?"
"You've lived in Ylisstol for a while now. Have you ever been to Mount Hugo?"
"Mount Hugo isn't a mountain. Wait. You're taking us hiking before the sun is up?" asked Robin.
"It's quite beautiful. The sunrise," said Frederick.
"Hiking."
"It's not that bad."
"Is this what you do for fun on Saturday mornings?"
"Yes."
"Director Knight."
"Yes?"
"Your definition of fun is depressing."
"Well, we can only meet early in the morning or late at night to avoid raising suspicion."
"Suspicion of what?" she asked innocently.
Frederick took a moment to think about the question. They weren't officially seeing each other, but they weren't also not seeing each other. He had hoped if he had allowed Robin to exhaust her infatuation, she would get over him and move on. Nothing good was going to come out of this even if she did make him laugh. Even if he looked forward to her texts. Even if he looked forward to seeing her underneath all the denial he had.
But that still didn't answer her question.
"Suspicion of people thinking that we're together."
"Are we?"
"Robin…"
She untied the drawstring and pulled her hood off, revealing her tousled silver hair. She teased, "Of course. How could I forget? We haven't even held hands."
"Us being together probably isn't a good idea."
Robin sighed wistfully and turned her attention away from him to the road. "You mention that every date. Yet, you also show up to every date."
His grip on the steering wheel tightened. It sounded like he was leading her on. That was worse.
Frederick had expected her to be upset, like any rational person, but her tone was otherwise. Soft and understanding.
"And every time, you tell me the same reason. It's against the rules. You think you're too old for me. Funny how you always saying you're too old for me and not the other way around, where I'm too young for you. Hmm?" Robin laughed, her eyes twinkling in the dark. "Did you know that men develop late than women?"
"Yes, I knew that."
"Yeah, so dating someone older is pretty normal, Frederick. Why would I want to be with a guy who's the same age as me but has the maturity of a nineteen-year-old? That sounds awful. Not that all guys my age are the same, but have you met some of them?"
She had a point. He swore the new hires and interns were getting dumber by the year. They had no common sense or logic. It was like school sucked out the little bit of creativity they had left.
"If it's me, and you're not interested—"
"It's not."
She fell quiet.
"It's not you."
Then, she laughed loudly, breaking the tension. "I'm just giving you a hard time. That's all. So…are we almost there?"
"Five more minutes."
"How long's the hike?"
"We can drive up to the upper parking lot and shorten the hiking time. It is fairly dark. I don't want you to twist your ankle. Then I'd feel awful and I'd be responsible for you."
"I'm okay with that. I give you permission to carry me around."
He laughed. "Careful what you wish for, Miss Grima. I might never put you down."
Frederick followed through with his plan of decreasing the chances of Robin snapping her ankle. There were a couple other cars in the lot, suggesting that, as Robin put it, 'crazy people are coming to see the sun do its thing that it does every morning'. They both left their phones in the car. It was a thing they did: left their phones aside whenever they spent time together. Both of them agreed that it was depressing watching those couples that would be on a date and spend their entire time on their phones. Aside for a couple exceptions they had agree on, they turned their phones on silent.
Yawning, Robin waited for Frederick at the entrance to the path. Due to poor visibility, he hadn't noticed that Robin was wearing an Ylisstol U hoodie earlier. She shared that she would've just left in her pyjama shorts or sweats because it was too early, but she said she put on jeans for him.
"You can't judge me for looking like a slob," said Robin.
"You look pretty in whatever you wear. Which year?" asked Frederick.
"Why? I'm not telling you. You're only going to use it as another excuse about the age gap," said Robin.
"Fair," said Frederick. "Let's go. Watch your step."
They began their hike to the summit of the 'hill' as Robin described it.
"Are you an alum?" asked Robin.
"Yeah. Years ago though," said Frederick.
"Didn't know you went to YU. Lemme guess. You were also an honours student and a varsity athlete, right?"
"How'd you know? Internet?"
Robin snorted. "I don't need the Internet to figure that out. I can tell just by looking at you, Frederick."
On their way up to the clearing on Mount Hugo, Frederick and Robin maintained a cautious distance between them. She remained half a step behind him. It wasn't long before they arrived at the clearing. Robin denied she was out of breath and Frederick played along. He led her to the edge of the clearing, but not too close for safety's sake. Below, the two watched the city of Ylisstol rose from its slumber with nature. The birds chirped, singing that a new day was here. Sunlight began to peak through the clear sky and the sun took its sweet time to greet the world.
Frederick felt Robin brush his hand. His heart quickened. Her hesitant pinky found his and wrapped around his. He smiled and tightened his pinky too.
The professional side of him kept saying 'stop', 'no', 'this is a terrible idea'. But the personal side of him said the opposite. He did want this. He did want to be with her. If they were smart about this, they could get away with seeing each other. They didn't even work in the same department nor the same floor.
"You're right. It was worth it to get only like three hours of sleep," said Robin, leaning her head against his arm.
"I know. I come here whenever I've had a rough week."
When the sun was high enough in the sky to bathe them in warmth, Frederick unhooked pinky around hers and took her hand, intertwining his fingers between hers. Her smaller hand felt cool in his. She looked up at him, searching for a clue as to why he was doing this.
"Breakfast?" asked Frederick.
She relaxed. Her face lit up with a grin, and she nodded. "That sounds like a wonderful idea."
On the way down, she asked hopefully, raising their hands, "So, does this mean we're together?"
Frederick laughed. "Yes, Robin. We're together."
She squealed, skipping up and down.
"But we're going to have a lot of ground rules."
"Frederick, can we just enjoy this moment and talk about that later?"
"Okay."
"Gaius. Gaius." Robin poked him with her foot from the opposite end of the couch. He swatted her foot away.
"Stop that." The lollipop stick moved to the other end of his lips. "Could you be anymore unladylike? Poking me with your nasty foot."
Robin kicked him and shot over a glare to boot.
"Fuck, Bubbles. What? What?"
"Question."
"Answer."
"Fuck you."
"Watch the movie. I wanna see what happens. How does the prince get the thief to change sides in the middle of battle?"
"He bribes him with a bag of cheap candy. Now you know."
"Bubbles!" shouted Gaius. "You know I hate spoilers!"
"Get over it! This is more important."
"If I didn't love you this much, I would've made you leave."
"Can I talk now?"
Gaius paused the movie. Robin took a break to speak before Gaius interjected again. "Wait, seriously? The thief is bribed over with candy?"
"Yeah, and he promises to give him more after the battle if they win."
"Damn. That's a good deal. I'd sell my soul for that."
"Of course, you would, childhood obesity."
"You still suck at nicknames."
She reached over and grabbed a handful of caramel popcorn and chucked it at Gaius. "Listen!"
Gaius sighed. "Gods, you're more annoying than Navi from Ocarina of Time. Okay. Go. I'm giving you fifteen seconds."
"When do you kiss a girl you've been seeing?" asked Robin.
He blinked at her. Then, he pointed to his front door. "Get out. You paused the blockbuster movie Fire Emblem: Awakening for this?"
"Oh, shove it. I bought the caramel popcorn for you."
Gaius shrugged. "True. Fine. I'll let you stay."
"I was gonna stay anyway."
"Are you seeing someone?" asked Gaius.
"No!" Robin shouted abruptly. Her heart pounded in her chest at the innocent, yet dangerous question. Frederick and her had agreed to keep their relationship secret. She felt bad about hiding it from her best friends, but Frederick made a good argument and she didn't want to fuck this up. Besides, they'd kill her for dating someone so high up in management within Exalt corporation again.
"Bubbles, chill."
"I'm asking for Cherche. She's been having boy problems."
"I don't really feel like helping Cherche." Gaius threw some popcorn into the air before catching it in his mouth.
"Come on. For me."
"Fine. Depends. Usually the first date."
"Do you fuck on the first date too?"
"Sometimes." He grinned. "Something that is unthinkable to for innocent little Bubbles."
She rolled her eyes. "Okay." Robin sat up from her slouched couch potato position. "What if it took a while to get to the point where you realized you two were dating?"
"I probably would've kissed them before then too."
"And if they don't?"
"They're probably not interested."
"Oh."
"Why? Cherche's not that dense. Who's she seeing?"
Neither Gaius or Cherche would ever talk to each other, so it was fine to make something up.
"She's kinda seeing someone she shouldn't be."
"Is it the equivalent to you seeing Chrom again or…?"
"Hey!"
"Oh. I see. She's seeing a married man."
"Naga, Gaius. Your opinion of Cherche is so low."
"I'm sure Cherche sees me as trash."
"You are trash."
"Bubbles. So are you."
"But they've been seeing each other for a while now. Why wouldn't they have kissed?"
"He's probably not interested."
"Why would he keep seeing her then?"
"Maybe he feels bad?"
"Damn."
"Can we get back to the movie? You know, now that you mention it, the lord in this movie reminds of Blue when he used to be a decent human being."
"He is a decent human being."
"You're defending him again."
After the movie and dinner at Gaius's, Robin decided to head to the Exalt building. Frederick had been working late for a while now, and she only caught glimpses of him. He did his best to respond to her messages, but the ratio so far was fifteen texts to one. And they were only a couple words long. She dialed his private number as she entered the lobby. The phone rang a lot longer than usual. She grew impatient and hung up.
Robin waved at the security guard before scanning her key pass. Thoughts wouldn't stop bursting into her head while the elevator came down.
Chrom and her had kissed way before they were 'official'. From what she gathered (aside from Gaius, who was always an outlier), most people kissed within the first three dates. Most people also fucked within that timeframe based on her casual survey.
So why hadn't they gone farther than hugs and holding hands and pecks on the cheek after six weeks of being official? She was so ready to throw herself at him. (Even if she had never had sex before.)
Robin walked into the elevator and pressed Frederick's floor. She knew he was at work. Again, she tried to call him. Again, he didn't answer. She frowned.
The elevator didn't take long considering that it was Saturday night and almost everyone was at home or out. Not Frederick.
When the elevator doors opened, she was right: Frederick's office was the only area that had the lights on. His illuminated glass corner office glowed in the dark. She unbuttoned her thick peacoat and continued her way to his office. When she was close, she saw that Frederick was resting his head on his desk. Quietly, she opened the door and entered his glass box.
First things first. She took her out phone and snapped a photo of him. Cute photo. Then, she crept up next to him. She placed a hand on his shoulder and shook it.
Frederick bolted up. He picked up his glasses and slipped them on. "Robin? What are you doing here?"
"I missed you."
He looked around their surrounding to ensure no one would see them together.
"I'm sorry I've been busy."
"I called you twice."
"I must've fallen asleep."
Robin cupped his face, her thumbs tracing his dark circles. "You should go home. Wait. You feel warm." She placed the back of her hand on his forehead. "Maybe my hands are just cold."
"What time is it?"
"A little past nine."
"Robin, you should go home."
"You should go home. It's supposed to snow tonight too."
"I still have work to do."
"When's the deadline?"
"Tuesday."
"You have tomorrow and Monday, Frederick."
"I want to get it done tonight though, so I can spend time with you tomorrow."
Her chest tightened. She kissed him on the forehead. "Babe, I can wait. Take care of yourself. We'll spend time after it cools down, okay?"
"I feel like I've been neglecting you though."
"You have. But you're on cheating on me with work. That's fine," she teased. "But for tonight, go home."
Frederick sighed. "You're not going to take 'no' for an answer, are you?"
"Nope." Robin smiled. "And you know how stubborn I can be."
"I do. Alright. I'll drop you off and head home?"
"You could stay over if you want."
"I'll drop you off and head home."
"Fine."
The drive back to Robin's place was quiet. Nighttime traffic was starting to pack the streets, but the news of first snowfall tonight kept a lot of the sidewalks empty. Frederick yawned at every stoplight, making Robin worry more.
"I don't want you to burn out."
"I won't."
"Frederick, people don't choose to burn out. They overwork themselves, and they burn out."
"How was the movie with your friend?"
"Fine. Did you eat dinner yet?"
"Not yet. I promise to eat when I get home."
"Frederick?"
"Yeah?"
"Are you seeing me because you feel bad for me?"
There was a silence, making Robin's heart sink.
"Why would you think that?" he asked gently. "Did I do or say something to hurt your feelings?"
"No. Okay, maybe I'm just confused as to how we've been seeing each other for six weeks now and you've never kissed me."
Frederick took her hand and kissed the back of it. "I kiss you all the time."
"Never mind."
He chuckled and said, "Besides, I thought you liked making the first move. It was kind of refreshing. You chasing me down for how long was it?"
Robin's cheeks warmed. "I don't know," she grumbled. "Too long."
"You also grabbed my hand first."
"Actually, I was more quaint about it."
"Oh, were you?"
"The pinky thing."
This time, Frederick laughed. "Okay. You did the quaint pinky thing. You also kissed me on the cheek first."
"Would you like me to throw myself at you first too?"
This shut him up.
"We're here."
They were already at her apartment. Robin pursed her lips when she turned to Frederick. "You kinda suck, Director Knight."
"Yes, I've been told that before." He smiled pleasantly.
She pouted. "Seriously?"
"Seriously. Get home safely."
"Frederick. I'm right in front of my apartment. How much more safe can it get? It's literally three meters. Not even."
He leaned over and pecked her on the cheek. "Good-bye, love."
Clearly bitter and unsatisfied with Frederick's reaction and action, she left the car and stomped her way cross the sidewalk to get home. Robin shoved her hands into her coat to dig out her keys on the stair steps. Damn the gods. It was snowing now too. The sidewalks were going to become slip-and-slides of icy death. And the wait for the buses were going to suck. And her face was going to freeze. And it was going to fuck up her skin. And now she'd have to step up her skincare routine, so she didn't look like shit.
Behind her, she heard a car door slam. She turned around to see Frederick jogging up to her. He held up her phone in one hand.
He climbed up the first couple stairs. "I know you can't live without your phone. I saw that you forgot it."
"Thanks," muttered Robin, accepting her phone.
"You're finally taller than me now."
"Huh? Oh." She realized that being on a couple steps higher than him made her slightly taller.
In this moment, he leaned in and pecked her on the mouth. Robin held her breath. Even in the cold, her face felt warm.
Frederick gave her an equally warm smile. "Remember how you said that there's a saying that if you share your first kiss with someone on first snowfall, that you'll stay together forever? I think you were reading a book by a Plegian author a little while back and shared that tidbit."
She couldn't handle this. Naga.
She knew which book it was. Aversa had sent it as a joke, but Robin had enjoyed it quite a bit. The guy in the book waited seven months to kiss the girl. The push and pull of the couple's game sounded more romantic in a novel than in real life now.
"I thought it would've been romantic to wait. But you're right. Six weeks is a long time. I can understand why you were frustrated. There were many times where I even doubted my own self-control."
Was this man even for real? Or was she a figment of her imagination made up from all those crappy romance novels she read as a pre-teen?
"I'm also kind of surprised that you didn't beat me to it. Robin, I can't tell if you're upset or—"
"Frederick."
"Yes?"
"I'll let you take my panties off with your teeth." Fuck. She winced, squeezing her eyes shut and sucking air in. "I just ruined it. Sorry." She really needed to tone down her porn viewing habits.
He cleared his throat, wearing the same blush as Robin. "Get some sleep. We'll get there."
"Get where?"
"Having me take your underwear off with my teeth, if that's what you're into. But not tonight."
"No! Wait. Eugh. I wasn't thinking. It just came out."
"It's alright. You've said worse things when you've had too much to drink or were half-asleep."
She was afraid to ask. "Like what?"
"You yelled at me, 'Your ass is mine' when I dropped you off at home the first time," said Frederick.
"Naga." She burned her face into her hands. "Just kill me now. But that sounds like something I'd say when I've had too much to drink. Wait. You really think 'Your ass is mine' is worse than what I just said?"
"We didn't even know each other then. And you said that after I politely declined your courting attempts."
"Frederick, your age is showing. Who says 'courting attempts'? Say 'flirting' like a normal person."
"I really need to head home. I left the motor running."
"Wait."
Robin grabbed his necktie and pulled him in. She kissed him to fill her need of him. Her lips parted and his tongue found hers and teased her. Frederick moved up a couple steps to gain more control, his hands finding their way to the back of her neck and the small of her back.
"I need to go, Robin." He said in between kisses.
"You're so stingy. Give me one more. I've been starved for these."
Frederick obliged before he said, "Having too much of a good thing is bad for you."
"I don't mind." Robin finally released her hold. "Go home, ya old man."
She stayed outside until he left. The stairs that usually angered and tired her were easy to run up. Her face hurt from smiling so hard. And once inside her place, she squealed while flailing her happy dance.
Robin woke up the next Saturday feeling like death. Everything ached and hurt. She curled up in bed, whimpering over her raging uterus for going against its wishes of having a baby. It stripped layers off in a bloody tirade.
Drugs. She needed drugs.
But she also didn't want to move. The stabbing in her lower belly was too much. She let out a roar when she realized that she had forgotten to pick up some painkillers the last time she went grocery shopping. They had run out of the ones that she always bought. It didn't matter if the other brand did the exact same thing with the exact same ingredients. It didn't work, thus to Robin, it wasn't the same.
Like any rational person in this situation, she reached out an arm from under the covers and grabbed her phone. Robin had decided that she would wait for death while watching cute animal videos before she came to her senses and asked someone to help her out.
She unlocked her phone. When the main screen came up, her index finger stopped in midair. Robin's heart pounded, and her cramps were momentarily forgotten.
It was Chrom's number. His name didn't appear because she had deleted his contact ages ago. But his number had been engrained in her mind.
One voicemail.
The smart thing to do was delete it. The bleeding, angry, hormonal thing to do was listen to it.
Was it an accident? Why would he call? They couldn't be with each other.
Robin decided to start her day with a regret.
Chewing her lip, she called her voicemail and brought it up to her ear.
"Hey Robin…babe…I miss you." His words were slurred and heavy.
She released a shaky breath. He had drunk dialed her. Great.
"I'm sorry I'm such a coward when it comes to my father. I should've never gone to see those girls Father kept forcing to meet. But he kept threatening to hurt you if I didn't. He kept fighting with Mom over it. That she raised me to be weak. Someone has to look out for Mom."
There was a long pause.
"I meant every word I said to you. You are my everything. You're my rock. I know I shouldn't call you—"
A lump formed in Robin's throat.
"—but life's been rough lately. I wish you were here. I need you in my life. You understand me."
Her eyes burned.
"I promise the make things right. I promise that we'll be together again. I know that we can't live without one another."
Another long pause.
"I'm sorry I love you."
In the background there was another voice. A woman's purr. "Mmm…who are—"
"You have no new message," the automated voice interjected.
Angry tears singed their way into her pillow. She held her breath in attempts to hold back her sobs. When she couldn't hold her breath any longer, she sucked in air and cried. Robin swore into her pillow while cursing Chrom. Her entire body shook from the devastating impact of his message.
Why would he do that to her? She had just forgotten him. She was finally starting to heal from what happened a while back.
Things were almost normal. Robin had begun to find happiness with someone else.
And the fuck was that at the end? Was he with another woman again while making this call? The fucking nerve he had!
A good forty minutes passed before she ran out of tears and exhaustion washed over her. Robin sniffled underneath the safety of her blanket. She had to cancel plans with Frederick today, which was a hard decision. Matching up their schedules lately had been hard and Saturday lunch had been hard to wrangle.
She sent him a text. Hey, teddy bear. Feeling crap today. I need to stay in bed.
Frederick called her seconds after. Of course, he'd call instead of text.
"Do you need to see a doctor?" asked Frederick.
"No."
"You sound congested."
Nope. Just crying. "Cramps."
"How do cramps cause congestion?"
"It just does, Frederick. Don't question my biology."
"My apologies. Is there anything I can do for you?"
"Actually, I need some drugs. And some pads. I'll send you a picture. Can you do that?"
"Of course. Anything for you, love."
"You're not disgusted or embarrassed?"
"Why would I be?"
"Most boys are."
"Robin, I'm not a boy. I'm a grown man."
She smiled. "You are a man."
Frederick arrived an hour later with drugs, pads, a hot water bottle, a bunch of bananas, enough chocolate to last a year, and lunch. "I checked online to see what helps with menstrual cramps."
Robin stared down into one of the bags. "Yeah, I can see that. I'm usually fine with just drugs though. You didn't need to get any of this extra stuff. But I do like how you think. Chocolate makes everything better."
"I'll make some tea." Frederick headed off to the kitchen. Robin followed after him.
"You can't spoil me like this. What will I do when you're gone?"
"Am I going somewhere that I don't know of?"
Robin shrugged. "If we ever separate."
"Don't think about that." He puttered about in the kitchen, pulling out bowls, plates, and cutlery. "I bought soup and sandwiches. Would you like roasted red pepper and tomato soup or potato leek soup?"
"I'm gonna go with potato leek, but I'll probably steal some of the other one anyway."
"That's quite alright. I got you your favorite sandwich too."
"Thanks. You're the best, teddy bear. I appreciate you."
Frederick kissed the top of her head. His arm wrapped around her, securing her close to him. Robin rested her head against his chest with a mug of tea. They hadn't moved from the couch since after he made her dinner. He enjoyed her proximity, but he also need to move to loosen up his muscle stiffness.
Absentmindedly, she sipped. Robin nudged his side. "Babe. Look at how adorable the baby elephant is. I want to pet one."
"You've said that about every animal that came up in this documentary."
"You know what? You're going to have to listen to me gush about the adorable baby animals because I listened to you get excited about the documentary you chose about knighthood from the Falchion Era. You were practically a fangirl at the concept of serving others and chivalry."
"I did not 'fangirl'."
"No, that's how I would describe it."
Frederick turned his head behind him, earning himself a grumble from Robin. "I'm checking the weather."
The snow was piling up. He had good snow tires, but if they didn't leave earlier, there would be too much snow and they'd have to wait for the city snow blower tractors to clear the roads.
"Robin."
"Hmm?" Robin set her tea on the coffee table and adjusted herself to lay her head down on his lap. A strand of her hair fell in her eyes and Frederick tucked it behind her ear. His fingers traced her sublime neckline. Immediately, he withdrew his hand before he went further.
"I should you drop you off soon."
She had been staying later and later with every visit. Every time, he made sure to send her on her way home. Even if she pursed her lips, pouted, groaned, and complained.
"Yeah?" Her chest rose and fell with her breathing.
His eyes fell onto her bare neck again. His Adam's apple bobbed. He fought the urge to leave a mark, that she belonged to someone. Maybe then the young men at work would stop hitting on her and eyeing. Robin watched on, failing to realize the growing impurity of his thoughts.
Frederick cleared his throat. "Robin, love, we should go. Or it'll be dangerous on the road."
She sat up and gave him a chaste kiss on the lips. "I could stay."
"I don't think it's a good idea."
Like a feline hunting its prey, she prowled into his lap. Robin slipped her arms over his shoulder. "Why is that?"
"It's improper."
She sighed. "What if I don't want to be proper?"
He laughed and smiled at her. "You're cute, Robin."
"Stop saying that."
Sometimes, their age difference showed.
"Okay. What would you like me to say?"
Behind him, a male elephant mounted the female elephant on the TV screen.
"Say, 'Stay over tonight. I'll drop you off tomorrow'."
"Robin."
She watched him seriously. Sincerely.
He looked away at the intensity of her gaze.
"We don't have to do anything. I just like being with you."
That worked. Sort of. It was getting harder to control his more primal urges for her. And she was definitely doing a lot of things on purpose to make him cave faster. It wasn't about abstinence. He had made plenty of love with his prior partners. The thing that hit him like a freight truck a little while back was that when he was her age, she was sixteen. Not even legal. And that really made it feel wrong.
"Frederick, please say something."
"Do you know how old you were when I was your age?"
"Why does that matter right now?"
"You were sixteen."
"Frederick, we went over this. I. Am. An. Adult! You aren't twenty-four. And I'm not sixteen. You're frigging thirty-two and I'm twenty-four! Is this why we still haven't had sex? Because having sex with me will feel like you're fucking a teenager? Does kissing me feel like you're kissing a child too?"
"Robin, no. That's not what I meant."
"You're driving me crazy here! And I'm not hot when I'm crazy." Robin huffed and climbed out of his lap. "I'm going home, so you can sleep at night. Guilt-free."
It wasn't that he didn't want her. He wanted her so bad. Robin didn't understand how badly he wanted her underneath him, crying out his name in blind ecstasy. Moaning for more in his ears. Lying in each other's arms after exhausting one another from climaxing. His hands and mouth craved to explore every weak spot yet to be know.
But there was an unbalanced power dynamic between them. It wasn't fair to her.
Frederick chased after her to the main entrance. "Robin, stop. Wait."
"I'll call a cab or take the bus."
He grabbed her arm to stop her. "Robin, wait a moment."
She didn't face him. "I'm really not in the mood to be more embarrassed."
"Embarrassed?"
She snapped her head up to him. "Wouldn't you be embarrassed if your boyfriend didn't even see you as an adult? Do you know how belittling that feels, Frederick?" Her voice quivered. "I get it. I've lived eight years less than you, so I must be naïve and stupid—"
"Robin, stop."
The hurt stopped flowing out of her mouth. She added a shaky breath like a period to the end of her rant.
"I don't think you understand how badly I want you."
Her eyes burned into him.
"I…I'm scared I'll hurt you. That's all."
Robin sighed and spoke quietly. "You'd be surprised by what I can handle, if you'd let me. But this isn't about me." Gently, she pushed his hand off of his arm. "This is about you, and you getting caught up in your head. So what if we break a rule or two by being together? I know you're risking a lot. But so am I. So what if I'm significantly younger than you? Believe it or not, I am a consenting, grown-ass woman. So what if people judge? People have judged me my entire life. You think I care if they judge us being together? I could do a lot worse. Like staying with a cheating ex-boyfriend or getting back together with him. I have respected you and your spa—"
She paused.
"Okay, I wasn't the most respectful about your space, but I tried."
Frederick couldn't help but laugh at her correction. "You did try. In your own odd way."
"I really think I deserve the respect of being your equal in this relationship, because I really fucking like you, Frederick. I really do. Even when you're frustrating me this much, I get why you're doing it and the masochistic side of me thinks it's incredibly sweet. But I'm not a child. I can take care of myself. But all I want to say is that I'm all in, and if you aren't…I don't know what to say."
It took another good thirty minutes to fight Robin into letting him drop her off home. He could tell she had to really swallow her dignity and pride to allow him to drop her off. When they arrived, she pecked him on the cheek before leaving, but not a word more. Frederick watched her retreat into her apartment, and she disappeared. He sat in his car. When he realized he had been sitting there for a good ten minutes, he turned off the engine.
Her perfume still lingered, reminding me of their earlier spat. Sighing, he sank back into his seat. She was right. He was trying too hard to have best of both worlds of having her and maintaining the status quo.
On a couple of occasions, he had treated her like a child. She voiced her dissent about it each time. He just felt the urge to protect her and sometimes, the delivery wasn't the most graceful.
A buzzing drew him out of his thoughts. Who would call this late at night? It couldn't be Robin, considering how upset she was.
He picked up his phone to check the caller ID. Miss Grima.
"Hello?" he answered.
A sigh. "Go home, teddy bear. You're going to be stuck there in the snow if you don't move your car soon."
Frederick stretched his neck out to see Robin's bedroom light was on. There was a figure sitting on the ledge of the window.
"Stay warm. It's cold tonight."
"I will. But seriously, go home before the weather gets worse. I checked the weather, and there's supposed to be a blizzard in a couple hours."
"Okay."
"Night."
"Night, love."
Frederick waited until Robin disappeared from the window and her light switched off. He got out of the car, locked it from inside to not alert her that he hadn't left yet. At the front entrance, he cursed himself. He forgot that he needed to buzz her number to get in. Well. There went his romantic gesture.
One number at a time, he pressed the frozen buttons. To his surprise, she let him in.
The warmth of the apartment's lobby melted away the snowflakes on his jacket and in his hair. He rushed up the stairs but was careful not to be too loud. On the top floor, he tapped the door with two knuckles.
Robin opened the door only enough for her to pop her face out. She didn't say anything.
"I'm sorry, Robin."
She looked up at him, watching him catch his breath.
"I'm sorry I haven't taken you seriously. It was wrong of me."
Robin lowered her eyes. "Okay."
"Can I stay over tonight?"
She took a deep breath. "No. I think you should go home tonight."
His heart sank. He really messed up.
"It wouldn't be proper." A small smile tugged on her lips. She opened the door wider for him.
And after all the tension and stress had melted away with her invitation, laughter bubbled up from him. Robin had given him a strong dose of his own medicine.
"Shh! You'll wake the neighbours," she hissed. Robin grabbed his arm and dragged him inside.
Robin left a new toothbrush for him on the sink counter. Apparently, her parents sent her a lot of extra things on a regular basis. He pulled off his sweater, folded it, and set it aside, while Robin used the washroom. He began to unbuckle his belt when he heard something behind him.
"Mmm…go slower." Robin giggled. "I'm just teasing."
"I can go slower for you." Frederick turned around to find Robin standing at the doorway in a large t-shirt.
Her smile slipped off her face, and her eyes wandered before she looked away. "I claim the left side, so if someone tries to murder us, they can fight you first." Robin scurried into bed with a vivid flush.
"I thought this was what you wanted," teased Frederick, taking his pants off while facing her.
"I'm tired. Just come to bed."
Shaking his head, he laughed to himself. It appeared her bark was louder than her bite.
"Coming."
Morning came to Frederick first. Robin's breath tickled against his chest, her arms securing her place in his space, around his waist. He ran a hand through her shoulder-length moonlight hair. Her bare legs were soft against his.
What time was it?
Frederick tried to move but immediately stopped when Robin groaned in protest. It appeared that he was stuck until she woke up too. He laid there in the moment, savouring the skin-to-skin contact. But at the same time, he really needed to relieve himself.
"Robin, love," he whispered.
"Mmm…" she moaned.
That was not helping.
"I need to use the washroom. Robin. You need to let me go."
"Come back, okay?" she mumbled.
"Promise."
Robin released him from her embrace and rolled over to her other side. Frederick breathed a sigh of relief and slipped out of bed to go to the washroom. He felt much better after emptying his bladder. It was chilly in her apartment in the morning. He checked around her house to turn up the thermostat. On the way, he saw that Ylisstol had become a winter wonderland overnight. Shivering, he quickly returned to Robin's room and closed the door.
Something stirred in down below when his eyes fell on the bed.
She was only wearing a wear of lacy panties that showed off the fullness her tight behind. The t-shirt had ridden up and bunched around her ribs, revealing the silhouette of curves. Her long legs wrapped around the blanket between them.
Robin Grima wasn't a child. Robin Grima was a woman.
The weight of the mattress shifted when he climbed back into bed with her. He pressed up against her and wrapped his arm around. She found his hand and gingerly slipped her fingers between his before falling back asleep.
Frederick found it increasingly difficult to fall back asleep. Not only because he usually got up early to start his day with a workout, but also because of the growing erection in his tight underwear. He inhaled slowly. Maybe she wouldn't notice. Unlikely. He was spooning her. He cursed mentally when he felt Robin stir, making the situation worse.
"Babe?"
"Yes, love?"
She yawned and said innocently, "There's something hard against my back." Before he had an opportunity to explain himself, she tensed, her hand squeezing his.
All she said was one word. "Oh."
'Yeah' was all he could manage.
"Umm…so…do you wanna…?" she inquired after a long awkward pause. "It's fine. I get pretty horny in the morning too."
Frederick withdrew his hand and sat up in her bed. She said his name while dragging her fingers down his back. There was nothing holding him back. He turned around, and in one swift move, he hovered over Robin's nubile body on all fours. Robin swallowed, refusing to break eye contact with him.
His placed his relaxed hand below her navel. As he dragged his hand up, Robin's breathing quickened. She audibly inhaled when his hand continued under her t-shirt until his palm rested on her breast, her aroused nipples poking into the middle of it. She looked away timidly. Frederick smiled, lowering himself down on top of her. He used his other hand to make her face him. He helped her warm up to him with a kiss. She sweetly kissed him back.
He took her shirt off, and she crossed her arms over her chest.
"I want to see all of you," he whispered.
Slowly, Robin snaked her arms around his neck, and he leaned into her neck, sucking her golden skin. Shaky breaths blew into his ear. He brought up a hand to the other side of her neck, holding her in place to do what he had wanted for ages. Leave a love mark. It was uncouth of him, but he wanted to see her flustered face upon its discovery.
"Ah…" Robin closed her eyes. Her chest rose and fell rapidly against his.
When he was satisfied, he pulled back to admire his work. He brushed a thumb over the mark.
Robin's arms removed her arms around his neck, her hands resting against his arms. "T-The condoms are in the drawer."
"Not yet. Let's take our time."
"O-Okay."
"Do you still want me to take your panties off with my teeth?" Frederick laughed when her face became an even darker shade of embarrassment.
She shook her head and gave him a small smile. "Maybe next time."
He returned to her lips, keeping her busy as his hand went further down. The lace tickled the tips of his fingertips. He slipped his tongue into her mouth the same time his hand slipped into her panties. Robin's fingers gripped his arm. Frederick's hand traveled further down, past the soft hair, to the wet lips. Her hips raised against his touch.
"Patience, love," he lectured before stealing her breath away.
One finger slipped between the lips and drew a line down until he felt her opening. Robin squirmed, pulling away from his lips to catch her breath. Frederick guided his middle finger inside of her. She gasped, her breaths like uneven staccatos. When he began to stroke her sensitive spot, she squeezed her eyes shut. Her desperate whimpering crescendoed into moans.
"How does that feel, kitten?"
She bit her lower lip, barely managing to look at him, her eyes hazy with sleepy want.
"Frederick, please. Ah…"
Her lust pooled in his hand, encouraging him to insert a second finger. Robin panted with each stroke. Her legs tightened around his hand.
"Do you want to feel how badly I want you? Reach down."
She released her grip on his arm. A weak hand went down to his boxer briefs to feel the outline of his hardened cock. He withdrew his hand from her panty. She released a heavy sigh, trying to catch her breath.
He leaned into her ear. "Would you like to keep going?"
Robin nodded. "I want to keep going."
"Which drawer are the condoms in?" asked Frederick, getting out of the bed.
"Top drawer of my dresser. I didn't know what you preferred, so I just bought like five boxes. I also didn't know what size to get, so I'm hoping there's something that fits."
Frederick pulled open the top drawer to see that there were five boxes of condoms neatly in a row beside her underwear. His eyes wandered up to poorly concealed pink vibrator too, encouraging a low chuckle. He read the labels before picking the fourth box and opening it. He pulled one out and closed the drawer.
"You have a tight ass, babe."
"You may have mentioned your interest before we started seeing one another."
Frederick returned to the bed. Robin had pulled the blanket up to hide her chest again. He hooked his thumbs into the waistband of his boxer briefs and freed his erection. Robin watched him pump his cock a couple times before putting on the condom.
"Do you think it'll fit?" she asked quietly.
He chuckled. "You flatter me love." He kissed her while joining her back in bed. "Where were we?" Frederick pulled Robin's panties off of her hips, down her thighs, until she kicked them off.
He settled in between her legs. "Do you know how beautiful you are?"
"Did you tell that to all your previous girlfriends too?"
Frederick weaved his fingers into her hair. "Only the ones that give me a hard time about being an old man."
Robin giggled. "Nice save."
"Ready?"
"Can we take it slow? I'm…I'm inexperienced," murmured Robin.
"Inexperienced?" he repeated.
"Yeah."
"Robin…is this your first time?"
"Is that a deal breaker?"
"No, of course not." Frederick laughed and kissed her. "I assumed that you would've made love with your ex from back when you were still in school. And based on how assertive you can be."
"We never slept together. Like we slept together, but we didn't do anything," murmured Robin. "I didn't ever feel ready with him."
"Are you sure you don't want to wait, kitten?" asked Frederick.
"No. I've waited while everyone else was having orgies in their dorm rooms." She wrapped her arms around his neck.
"Ah, yes. Those fine old days."
"No backing out because you're scared you'll hurt me. I'm not a child."
"I know."
"I want to do this with you. I want it to be you."
The words solidified Frederick's resolve to commit and follow-through.
"Promise to tell me if you want to stop?" His voice wavered.
"I promise."
He spread her legs wider for him and lined his cock to enter her. Once the tip was in, he held her searching hands. It took great self-control to pace himself to not hurt her as he took her innocence. Robin winced nonetheless.
"Does it hurt, kitten?"
"It's fine."
"You're taking me so well," he reassured her in between intimate kisses.
"Mmm…"
When he couldn't go further, Frederick pulled out and pushed back in. And again. And again. He listened to Robin gasp softly with every thrust. She was tighter and wetter than he had ever imagined. It had been so long since the last time he made love with someone. His hips moved faster against hers, causing her breasts to bounce upon each impact. The bed creaked in rhythm with them. The duet of their overdue moans and groans was accompanied by the wet sounds of their lovemaking.
Frederick let go of her hand to hold her tight to go faster. Her skin was hot and damp against his. Robin held on tight, her fingers digging into his back, her legs wrapping around his waist. Each time she cried his name out in ecstasy, she pushed him closer to the edge. She broke him when she begged him to not stop. He was so close.
A couple of more strokes. Then, the feeling of a compressed coil finally released.
He slammed his hips into her, groaning as he came, followed by a couple more thrusts. He hadn't felt that good in a long time. Robin played with his hair as he recovered. Both of them caught their breaths. Her skin was hot against his. She glowed in the morning light after their lovemaking. Her eyes blinked, sleep pulling her away again.
Eventually, Frederick pulled out and threw away the condom and settled in bed to cuddle Robin. She snuggled into his side and he pulled the blanket over her shoulder.
"Did you cum?" he asked.
"No," she whispered.
"That won't do." He began to move until she stopped him.
"It's okay. Next time. This was good too."
Frederick kissed the side of her head. "We'll figure out what feels best for you in the second round."
"Okay."
"Are you okay, love?"
"Mmhmm."
She sniffled. Frederick froze.
"Robin? What's wrong?"
"Nothing." Her voice trembled.
"Did I hurt you?"
She sniffled again. "No."
Frederick cupped her face. "Love, what's wrong?"
Tears glistened in her eyes. "I don't know. I'm just overwhelmed with how happy I am to have met you."
He relaxed and smiled and kissed her. "I'm glad I met you too, love."
Robin laughed as she swiped away her rogue tears. "Oh gods. I'm that loser that cries after sex. Sorry."
"I'm here."
Frederick watched her slip on her oversized t-shirt and a fresh set of panties. Her cheeks warmed.
"Stop staring at me. It's making me feel self-conscious," she uttered quietly.
"I can't help it."
Robin rolled her eyes before leaving her room. She first went to the kitchen to get some tea started. It wasn't as cold as it usually was on a winter morning. Odd. She flicked on the electric kettle and went to the washroom.
"Do you need any help?" Frederick called out.
"No, stay in bed! Just making tea," she shouted back and closed the washroom door.
A young woman with disheveled hair stared back at her in the mirror. Robin tucked her hair behind her ear and slashed some cold water on her face. As she patted away the moisture with a towel, she stopped when she saw something on her neck. Her brows furrowing, she leaned in closer to get a better look.
That was a pretty fucking bad hickey.
How was she going to cover that? She sure as hell wasn't going to wear turtlenecks. She looked terrible in turtlenecks. Her neck wasn't long enough nor graceful enough for a fucking turtleneck. Aversa could pull them off, but even Aversa thought they looked stupid. Just wear a scarf, said Aversa and her mother.
She'd figure it out later…
Robin sat yanked her underwear off and sat on the toilet to pee. It was sore between her legs from their previous tango. Then she saw some a spot of blood on her on her panties. Based on her research in incognito mode on her internet browser a while back, a bit of spotting was normal after the first time.
She rubbed her eyes as she kind of just sat there. She finally did it.
Robin blushed into her hands.
Had she had done anything right? Was she too frigid? Had he expected some extra things that she didn't fulfill?
Then, the guilt weighed her further down. Throughout private school and her life, abstinence had been adamantly preached. No, it had been beaten over her head. Her parents had freaked out when they found out that Aversa started to have sex at an early age. That made them take a polarized approach on sex ed with Robin, where holding hands with a boy could get you pregnant. It was an unreasonable approach to teaching safe sex. And she knew that. But it didn't make the shame go away.
Robin took a deep breath. If she sat here any longer, Frederick was going to think she was taking a shit. She finished her business and washed her hands.
She hadn't regretted it. In fact, it had felt really good.
"Robin, did you fall asleep in the washroom?" called out Frederick.
"Nope. Just trying to get over my shame of being a responsible consenting woman who has normal sexual needs," muttered Robin.
"Robin?"
"Just staring at the hickey you gave me!" she yelled.
"You're welcome."
Cheeky bastard.
Well, it wasn't like she was going to stop at this point. There were so many positions she wanted to try. Besides, her vibrator could use the break. Wait, did Frederick see that?