Ch 54
Authors warning: descriptions of rape
Dean, Sam and River spent the first few days after their trip to Heaven in the car. Dean stopping only a few times for gas and food trying to outrun or out maneuver any hunters or pissed off Angels that might be tailing them. The monotonous hours spent barreling down blacktop caused River to finally fall asleep out of sheer boredom; she dreamt of Zachariah and his sick smiling face as he tortured her. She woke up in a cold sweat and chalked it up to stress. Dean gave her a concerned look from the rearview mirror. She winked at him and popped open an energy drink.
By the third day they found a case; a simple salt and burn, something to work out their frustrations and maybe do a little good for someone. After the vengeful spirit had been deep fried and the family it was bothering was deemed safe, the trio got a couple of rooms at a local motel. Dean and River skipped dinner and a bar run with Sam to enjoy the privacy of their own room.
Sam finally banged on the wall close to 2:00 am yelling at Dean to let River tap out and get some sleep. River's flushed skin turned a deeper shade of red and she bit down on her lips trying to stifle a moan threatening to escape. Dean laughed, adjusting the leg she had propped on his shoulder, "You ready to tap out, Princess?"
She nodded, "Yes. Fuck, please. I can't…"
"Mmmm, I think you can," Dean growled as he adjusted his angle, fingers squeezing into the soft curve of her hips to anchor her where he wanted her. The snap of his hips drove the headboard into the wall hard enough to knock a hanging picture down in Sam's room. Sam responded with another angry bang on the wall. A wolfish grin crossed his face as Dean dropped one hand between her legs, his thumb finding her slick, overstimulated pearl and River pressed her hands over her mouth trying to maintain a modicum of decency for anyone within earshot as he drove her over the edge again. Dean collapsed next to her a few minutes later, pulling her into his chest, and humming in contentment.
"I need a shower," she yawned.
Dean reached over her grabbed his pistol off the nightstand and tucked it underneath his pillow. "In the—" he paused breaking into a yawn as well, " morning."
"I smell like sex." River yawned again.
"I like the way you smell and taste and sound," he said kissing her neck and wrapping his arms and legs around her. "Get some sleep, sweetheart." Their room was soon filled not with the sounds that had been keeping Sam awake but with River's soft breathing and Dean's occasional snore. River slept for less than an hour before jerking awake, her hands once again going to her mouth. This time to drown out the sound of a frightened sob and not lust filled moan. Cold sweat rolled down her back, her stomach clenched from anxiety and a burn of shame seared her skin. She'd dreamt of the Shifter for the first time in a long, long time. His yellow eyes staring down at her, his hot breath on her face as he leaned over her, pinning her under him with his supernatural strength. She dreamt of Zachariah standing idly by as she screamed for help.
"Your head is full of these little memories you've tried so hard to bury," Zachariah told her as he bent down to look her in the eyes as the Shapeshifter continued his assault. The Shifter had her bent over a table with her arms pinned behind her back in one of his strong hands. The rough wood of the table bit into her cheek every time the Shifter thrust his hips against her.
She squeezed her eyes shut and chanted, "Wake up, wake up, wake up."
"You'll wake up when I let you," the Angel responded. "You listen to me you filthy mud monkey: I'll be here waiting, every time you close your eyes I'll have another of these gems waiting for you. I'll make you feel everything all over again. Or, you can help me. Talk some sense into Dean." He looked up disinterested at the Shapeshifter, who had a lit cigaret dangling from his lips as he grabbed a handful of River's sweaty red hair and pulled her head back at a painful angle and growled something foul into her ear. "Tell me how is this so different than all those disgusting things you let Dean do to you?" A chunk of ash fell from the tip of the Shifters cigaret and landed on her back. The memory of the stinging burn had been enough to break through Zachariah's hold and she'd nearly jumped out of bed.
River looked down at Dean who still slept peacefully then searched the dark floor until she found his discarded shirt. She slipped into it and paced the small room in her bare feet; Dean's scent still clung to the fabric and was comforting, erasing the stench of Marlboro's stuck in her mind. She wrapped her arms around herself and looked out the motel room window half expecting to see Zachariah's rat-like face leering at her. The parking lot was dark and empty except for the dark shape of the Impala. She shivered and her stomach rolled again. Her phone lay on the table next to Dean's and she briefly considered calling Cas for his input on Zachariah's new tactic. In the end she decided against involving the Angel, for now at least.
Dean woke a few hours after dawn. River sat at the small table in front of the one window, laptop open and a notebook in front of her. "Mornin' sunshine," he said as he sat up and stretched. "Been up long?"
River shook her head and lied, "No maybe an hour or so. Coffee?" She asked nodding to a waiting cup of black coffee. He sat at the table and pulled her notepad towards him eyebrows raised questioningly. "Potential demonic omens. Thought maybe we could snag us a couple of mooks and beat some info out of them?"
"What sort of info?" Dean asked sliding the list back.
"I dunno like where the hell we find the last two Horseman?" River glanced out the window as Sam went jogging by. Dean remained silent. "What's up with you?" She asked.
"Nothing." He answered too quickly.
"Nothing? Last night was nothing?" Her fingers pulled at the collar the too-big shirt she still wore reminding him of the dark marks he'd left on her neck and chest. "I mean you're pretty much the cats pajamas in that department Winchester…but I'm pretty sure there was something else on your mind besides fucking me senseless." River said matter of factly.
He took a long sip of his coffee. "Joshua." He said dropping the Angels name. "He said I'm losing faith. In myself, in Sam, in fixing this."
"Are you?"
He shrugged watching as Sam completed another lap around the parking lot, "I don't know if I ever had faith. God was our last, best hope and now we got nothing."
"That's never stopped us before." She told him. "I have faith. In you, in Sam, in Cas, in us. Screw God, screw the Angels and definitely screw Lucifer and his black-eyed asshat demons. Gabriel died to save you and Sam. Cas fell from heaven for you two idiots. We owe it to them to keep trying. We can figure something out….or die trying."
He let out a deep sigh, "Where's the closest omen?"
River smiled, "Couple of hours from here."
It took them another couple of days to pinpoint the source of the omens. Another couple of days that Zachariah was able to visit River when she drifted off for even a few minutes of rest. Each time he offered up another terrible memory, each time she jerked herself awake after less than an hour of sleep. The brothers, for the most part, had become more or less accustomed to her nightmares waxing and waning with the amount of stress they were under and didn't notice anything abnormal.
"We gotta hike in so they don't see us coming." Dean said. "You good?" His forrest green eyes reflected back at her from the rearview mirror.
She nodded, trying to clear the remnants of the dream; this time she and Zachariah stood within a salt circle watching helplessly as Suki, her friend and mentor, was ripped apart by invisible Hellhounds. "How much longer can you go without sleep?" Zachariah asked. "You humans," he spat the word out with disdain, "are hardwired to need it. How long until you get yourself hurt? Or Sam? Or Dean?" He paused as Suki let out an earsplitting scream. "You're weak. Weak and useless. But you're not stupid. You know Dean can't win this fight, he can't stop Lucifer alone. Michael is the only one that can stop Lucifer."
The nest ran leaving behind a dozen rotting meat suits before the Hunters could lay siege . The one demon they were able to trap didn't spill any insider secrets on how to find Pestilence or Death. The demon pleaded ignorance even after Dean stabbed the Demon Knife into his knee caps. "Any more bright ideas?" Dean harped after they burned the bodies and returned to the car.
River shrugged, "I got a whole list of bright ideas we can check out." She dug the list out of her jacket pocket and handed it to Sam. She rubbed her eyes and slouched in the backseat fighting the urge to fall asleep.
"This one. The lake in the center of town turned to blood, cattle mutilations, bad weather," Sam said looking over his shoulder at River. She gave him a glassy eyed, disinterested stare. "You look like shit. When was the last you slept?" he asked. Dean turned in his seat to also give her a once over.
River straightened up and rolled her shoulders, "Thanks Samsquatch. I slept earlier, when we were driving to this shit hole."
Sam shook his head, "No you didn't. You were out for a couple of minutes before you started mumbling in your sleep and woke back up." She couldn't think of an excuse fast enough.
"We're stoppin' for the night. And we're all going to sleep until noon tomorrow. Then we'll check out Lake Placid." Dean said. They stopped a few hours later at flea bag motel advertising clean sheets and a laundromat! "Eat, sleep, laundry before we go in the morning?" Dean asked the other two as they entered the room. River and Sam nodded tossing their duffle bags at the foot of each tiny double bed. They ate their takeout and took turns in the shower; River won Paper-Rock-Scissors and got the shower first. Followed by Sam who took his sweet time trying to use up all the hot water before Dean could get in.
The TV in the room did not work so they settled on the radio. River sang quietly along to the songs she knew and hummed to the ones she didn't. "You want to fool around while Sam's in the shower?" Dean asked as he and River sorted through their dirty clothes. He caught River off guard, who had started doing her best 'Flashdance' routine to go along with the 80's song drifting over the radio. She stopped mid dance, a pair of someones boxers in hand, and looked at him.
"What? Right now?" She gave him a small smile, eyes glancing over the closed bathroom door. "I don't know if we should. Sam-" Dean took that as a positive answer. A growl rumbled in his chest, he dropped the flannel shirt splattered with someone or somethings blood and picked her up wrapping her legs around his hips and walked the short distance across the room towards their bed. He laid River on the bed then crawled on top of her. The bed frame creaked loudly. Dean's hands immediately started roaming and slipping into the loose cotton sweatpants slung low on her soft hips. His lips sucking at the tender spot where her neck and shoulder met, fingers finding their way beneath her underwear and running through the short, soft curls of hair. She gasped, "Easy tiger, you said fool around. Sam is in the shower he'll be done any minute."
"We are foolin' around." Dean murmured against her neck.
"Sam's gonna be pissed if the first thing he see's when he gets out of the shower is your naked ass." River sighed as Dean rocked his hips against hers.
"Then how about you get on top for a while," he wrapped his hands around her hips and turned them over anchoring River on to his lap. She rolled her hips earning another rumble from Dean's chest.
River ran her tongue along his neck and murmured in to his ear, "Don't start what you can't finish, hot stuff."
"We should've got two rooms." He replied, his lips once again pressing against her, teasing his tongue against hers.
"We need to sleep. Got demons to hunt in the morning, remember?" she said.
"I don't really feel like wasting more time chasing dead ends. It's gettin' down to the wire, sweetheart." He sat up, keeping her firmly in his lap.
"They're not all going to be dead ends," River told him running her fingers through his hair. "We still have time-"
" I'd rather stockpile some canned food," He said interrupting her with a kiss, "rent a cabin somewhere and we spend our last days with my face between your thighs."
"That's real classy, Dean," Sam drawled from the now open bathroom door. River snorted laughter. Dean growled again, this time in frustration. "Shower's all yours." Sam said smiling at his sulking older brother. River crawled off Dean's lap so he could grab the last of his clean clothes from the top of his duffle bag and retreat to the bathroom.
"Oh! Son of a bitch that's freezing," Dean yelled angrily a few minutes later. Sam and River's eyes met and they broke into laughter at Dean's expense. Once Dean's grumbling died down River went back to sorting through their dirty clothes and stuffing the items that needed to be washed into one bag.
"You know I'm all grown up. I can do my own laundry," Sam told her.
River smiled. "I don't mind. Gives me something to do and I've seen your undies before Mr. SAXX." She said dangling a pair of his briefs between her fingers before shoving them into the bag with rest of the dirty laundry.
Sam considered her for a moment, "Are you alright? Zachariah, he's…a special kind of douchebag."
She set the bag of dirty laundry down at her feet. "No." She looked towards the bathroom door where the shower still sounded. "I'm not alright. But I wasn't alright before going to Heaven though, so, not much has changed." She sat on the edge of the bed next to Sam's long legs. "How 'bout you?"
Sam smiled, "I'm a recovering demon blood junkie that started the Apocalypse. Oh and I'm the Devils perfect vessel. So you know, I'm doing remarkably well." Dean suddenly yelled in surprise as the water turned from freezing to scalding hot and they laughed again. "You know he loves you." Sam said leaning forward and looking at her. "Dean's an idiot. A really big idiot. And I don't know what sort of spell he's cast on you to keep you putting up with his- with our bullshit…but the way he looks at you when your not looking…I've only seen him look at pie and his car like that."
River shook her head, feeling the warmth blossoming across her cheeks. "He's got a lot on his plate right now."
Sam sat forward and wrapped one of his huge, warm hands over hers. "No, he loves the shit out of you. And if you two wanna bail and ride this out I wouldn't blame you. I did this, I screwed the world because I wouldn't listen to you guys-"
"It's not your fault. We're family and in case you haven't noticed," she leaned towards the radio sitting on the nightstand between the beds and cranked up the volume, "….It's gonna take a lot to take me away from you/ There's nothing that a hundred men, or Angels or Demons, could ever do." She sang loudly. "Come on Sammy you know the lyrics-"
"Alright, lights out," Dean said opening the bathroom door.
"Dude, it's not even midnight," Sam complained.
"You guys want to hunt demons then we need sleep," he replied. River didn't want to sleep, she wanted to make a pot of coffee and catch up on 'Dr. Sexy, M.D.' episodes while Sam and Dean slept. She didn't want to see Zachariah's rat-fuck face, didn't want to know what horrible memory he's dredged for the evenings entertainment, didn't want to hear his sanctimonious voice. Before she could give him an excuse to not go to sleep just yet, Dean swooped her off of Sam's bed, slinging her over his shoulder like his duffle bag before tossing her on their bed which gave another indignant squeak when he landed next to her a second later. She could barely reach the lamp on the nightstand before Dean pulled her towards him, not leaving an inch of space between them.
"How do you sleep like that?" Sam asked stretching out on his own bed. Dean burrowed further into the lumpy mattress, pulling her with him. At least when you slept with Dean you were never cold and definitely never alone.
"She's like a soft, warm pillow that smells like cookies and has boobies," Dean answered.
Sam laughed again as River elbowed Dean in the stomach and muttered, "Boobies? Really? You are the worst, Winchester." They eventually stopped joking and one by one fell asleep. River finally relaxed enough to drift off in Dean's arms hoping Zachariah had better things to do than harass her.
She was wrong. The Angel had nothing better to do besides pick through her bank of terrible memories and sit back while she dreamt.
The stench of Marlboro Red's and sour fear laced sweat filled her nostrils. She pried her tired eyes open and saw the Shifter lounging a few feet away, cigarette dangling from his lip and surveying her with his sick yellow eyes. She pulled at the handcuffs chaining her wrists to a metal pipe that disappeared into the cement floor. She tried to spit out the bloody rag shoved in her mouth. The dirty mattress underneath her smelled like cockroaches and mold. Her torn bloody clothes were laying in a damp pile at Zachariah's feet. The Angel kneeled down to look her in the eyes, always in the eyes during these little meetings as a way to further prove he controlled the narrative. "I'll give you one thing you are stubborn as all get out." He said condescendingly. River yelled something unintelligible through the gag. "What was that?" Zachariah asked plucking the disgusting piece of fabric out of her mouth.
"I said fuck you. You feathered, bald, dickbag," River retorted. Her eyes flicked towards the Shifter who had stood up, completely unaware of the Angel and sauntered towards her. Sweat broke out along her hairline as he walked closer, erect penis swaying with each step. He was always hard, never tired, ready to hurt her again, just like she remembered. She turned her face away from the memory as he kneeled on her free side. He blew a mouthful of cigarette smoke into her face before his long slug like tongue slithered its way up her cheek. River gagged at his disgusting breath. "What is the point of this shit, Zachariah? I've lived through this. I know how the story fucking ends. It ends with Dean blowing this motherfuckers brains out."
The Shifter edged closer, hands prying her knees apart. River kicked her legs at him, yanking at the handcuffs. "Don't you fucking touch me." She growled at the monster. The Shifter responded by putting out the cigarette in the inner curve of her hip and River screamed in pain.
Zachariah laughed, "That's why. Because you remember it, you feel it. You think this is the worst of it?" He shook his head as the Shifter overpowered her. "Things will get so much worse for you after Sam gives in to Lucifer. After Dean lets him destroy the world." River bucked her hips trying to throw the heavy monster off of her. "And it won't stop…unless Dean consents to Michael. Dean wants to protect you. He will do what needs to be done to make sure you are safe. Help him make the right decision."
"And all the innocent people that are gonna burn when Michael and Lucifer duke it out in the stratosphere? " River spat as the Shifter forced his narrow hips between her legs. "Wake up! Wake up! God damn it!" She screamed at herself thumping her head desperately against the thin mattress. She gasped in pain as the monster forced himself inside her; she pulled again at the handcuffs knowing this wasn't the night she had escaped and the binds would hold strong.
Zachariah sneered, "No, not yet. I want you to tell Dean exactly what's been going on. You tell him the only way to make me stop, the only way to...save you is to play ball with Michael."
"Dean's gonna kill you," she said squeezing her eyes shut. Angry at the tears falling from her eyes and humiliated that Zachariah was witnessing another of her worst memories.
Zachariah pressed his lips together and sat back a bit on his heels. "In Heaven I have six wings and four faces, one of which is a lion. Dean Winchester is…pathetic. A lost, scared little boy still trying to fit into daddy's jacket. He's a blight on my otherwise spotless record. But he could be something, someone important. The most important man in creation-"
"And what about Dean when Michael is done with him?" River asked quietly, trying to keep her voice even.
"Dean will be welcomed into the kingdom of Heaven. Don't you worry about him. Worry about yourself. Worry about what's going to happen to you the next time you die. You're
teetering on the edge of damnation, River. One misstep and it's eternal Hellfire for you." Zachariah's slick grin widened, "Imagine all the nasty things waiting for you. This is a preview of what your afterlife will be…. Or you help me seal the deal with Dean and I will personally make sure you and him spend eternity together in your choice of romantic locale."
"I'd rather go to Hell than have Dean give in to Michael," She told him through gritted teeth.
"That can be arranged."Zachariah gave her one final venomous sneer before disappearing. She woke a moment later, shooting up in the bed shoving her fist in her mouth to stop the scream that wanted to escape. Sam grunted in his sleep. Dean snored into his pillow and River took deep breaths trying to force down the bile burning her throat. The red light on the radio showed she'd once again got only a few hours of restless sleep. Her brain was foggy and limbs heavy with exhaustion as she carefully got out of bed making sure not to wake either brother, grabbed her gun, and shimmied back into her boots. After tucking her phone into the pocket of her sweatpants she grabbed the bag of dirty laundry from the floor and quietly left the motel room.
The motel's overnight manager was standing outside the office smoking a joint in the cool air. He nodded his chin at her and River nodded back trying not to cough as she walked through his cloud of pungent smoke. The laundry room was empty at this predawn hour and she took a few minutes to load several washers with their dirty clothes. After the final washer was sloshing, River grabbed her phone and swung her self on top of one of the empty driers. She stared at the blank screen for several long minutes debating with herself if she should make the phone call. Her head ached, every muscle in her body felt tense. The aching burn of self-disgust and humiliation that her relationship with Dean had helped erase, were back. Her skin felt soiled and dirty. Part of her was afraid to seek help from Castiel because she didn't want him to witness any of the terrible things Zachariah had dug up from her memory. She also knew she couldn't go forever with out sleep. If she fucked up on a hunt and got Sam or Dean or herself hurt, Castiel might not be able to help them. Then they might fall into Zachariahs' lap out of sheer desperation.
She quickly skimmed through her small list of contacts and pushed the green 'send' button once she found Cas's number. The phones tinny ring echoed in her ear. She was beginning to get worried the Angel wouldn't answer and she was not sure anyone had ever taught him how to check his voicemail when she heard rustling and someone mashing buttons on the other line followed by several long seconds of silence. "Cas?" River said unsurely.
"Yes, River." Cas answered, his gravelly voice flat and monotone.
"Hey,Cas I just...I just wanted to check in." Doubt flared again in her belly to get Cas involved and she stalled for a moment. "I wanted to see how you're doing. You left in a hurry the other night and we haven't heard from you-"
Castiel sighed loudly, "I've been pondering the reason behind my continued existence."
River nodded, "Yeah that sounds pretty heavy...look could you maybe come meet me so we can talk in person...I need your help."
"Where are you?" Cas asked.
"Outside of Tulsa at the Navajo Nights Inn. I'm in the laundry room." There was a squeal of static, the lights in the laundry room flickered and Castiel appeared before her still holding his cellphone to his ear.
"I'm here." The Angel said.
River smiled, "Yeah Cas I see that. We can hang up now." The washers dinged and River jumped off the dryer and started moving the clothes around. "You know I miss seeing your wings."
Cas tucked his hands into the pockets of his jacket, "They're still there I assure you. What sort of assistance do you need?"
River chewed her bottom lip and fed quarters into the dryers. "Is there anyway to keep Angels out of my head…I mean I know there is because Gabe did that thing… Is there anyway you can keep other Angels out of my head?"
Castiel crossed his arms over his chest, "Who's harassing you?"
"It doesn't matter who. Can you help me or not?" River replied.
The Angel narrowed his cornflowers blue eyes and she felt the hairs on her arms stand on end. "Who?" He repeated.
"Alright, relax…this stays between me and you, got it?" Castiel gave her a quick nod. "It's Zachariah. That rat-fucks been screwing with me since we made a pit stop in Heaven." One of the fluorescent bulbs exploded and River let out a startled squeak.
The Angel cursed in Enochian and paced the small room. "What's he done?"
River picked at an invisible speck of dirt on her thumb. "Nothing… He's cherry picking my bad memories; Lilith, the Shifter, my friends being ripped apart…"
"Did he mark you? Touch you in Heaven?" Castiel asked.
River nodded her head, "Yeah, he uh…he touched my cheek. I didn't feel anything though, not like when you Etch-a-sketched my ribs." Castiel paced the small laundry room rolling his shoulders. River remembered the way his wings looked when he was agitated, twitching and rustling with his nerves. "I can't sleep, Cas. He won't let me sleep and if I fuck up on the job and get Sam or Dean hurt…"
Dean rolled over in his sleep and stretched his arms. His fingers trailed over the cool spot next to him where River should have been. One tired green eye popped open scanning the room. "Sweetheart?" he called quietly, propping himself on one elbow. Sam murmured in his sleep. The bathroom was dark and empty. So was the small table and the space in front of the window. "Riv?" he called louder swinging his legs out of the bed.
Sam sat up groggily, brushing his shaggy hair out of his face, "What's wrong?"
"Riv's gone," Dean muttered holding his cellphone up to his ear. He stood up and looked out the motel window. Nothing moved in the dark parking lot.
"Shit. Dean's awake." River's phone buzzed in her hand. "Hey-"
"Don't 'hey' me, where the hell are you?" Dean barked into the phone.
"I couldn't sleep. I'm doing the laundry I'm fi- shit," she muttered as Dean hung up. A door slammed across the parking lot and he appeared a few seconds later. Wearing nothing but the flannel pants he'd fallen asleep in and his boots. Sam was close behind with his pistol ready.
"Cas? What the hell man?" Dean asked looking to the trench coat wearing Angel.
"It's not Cas's fault. I couldn't sleep and I called him to make sure he was ok." River said. Castiel tilted his head and looked unsurely between River and the Winchesters. River raised her eyes brows at him expectantly.
The Angels mouth disappeared into a thin line and River knew she had just lost the battle for secrecy. "Zachariah is coming to River in her dreams."
"God Damn it, Cas, I just fucking asked you to keep this between me and you." River yelled.
Dean crossed his arms over his bare chest and Sam stepped further into the laundry room. "What's he showing you now? Any hints on what's coming next?" The younger Winchester asked.
River sighed and shook her head. "It's nothing like that he's just...fucking with me. It's just bad dreams, bad memories. Trying to get me to break. Trying to get you to break." She said pointing to Dean. "I'm the weakest link in our merry band of fuckups and he's knows that, everyone fucking knows that." She added taking a deep tired breath and pushing the hair out of her face. "Just forget it. I'll deal. He isn't showing me anything I haven't already lived through." One of the driers dinged and River turned towards it.
Dean wound his fingers around her wrist gently, "What the hell does that mean?"
River automatically yanked her arm away. It wasn't Dean's touch the felt wrong it was being touched at all while the vile memories of the Shifter were so raw and fresh. "Don't- don't touch me. He's all over me. I smell him all over me." She snapped her mouth shut aware of how close to panic and hysteria she sounded. She ran one pale hand across her mouth trying to wipe away the sour taste in her mouth.
Dean lowered his hand. "Who?" River avoided his gaze by stuffing clean clothes back into the canvas bag. His green eyes narrowed as dark pink patches of color lit up her cheeks giving him his answer. "The Shifter?" They had never discussed the finer points of exactly what the Shifter had done to her just like they had never gone over all of the tortures Dean had been dealt in Hell. But Dean remembered her nightmares, remembered seeing her drenched in cold sweat clutching the silver knife she always slept with. "Zachariah's making you….that son of a bitch is dead." He seethed, his fists shaking at his sides.
"There's so much I've forgotten. So much I made myself forget..." River said quietly. "Zachariah wants you to go after him. To go in half-cocked and pissed off. To lose control so Michael can swoop in when something goes sideways- I need you to back off of this." She said turning to look at Dean before looking over his shoulder at Castiel. "Cas, can you help me or not?"
He shook his head, "No. Whatever Zachariah did to you in Heaven I can not undo here. I'm sorry."
"Then what are we supposed to do, Cas?" Sam asked. The Angel disappeared suddenly causing another light bulb to explode.
"Well thanks anyways." River muttered in Enochian.
"What?" Dean asked as she shoved the last of their clothes back into the bag and slung it over her shoulder.
"I'm going to shower, caffeine up and head back to Bobby's." She told him walking out of the laundromat and back towards their room.
"The hell you are," Dean yelled after her as she slipped into the room. River stood at the foot of their bed tossing clothes into three separate piles when they entered. " You're not goin' anywhere."
She picked a outfit from her selection of clean clothes and stuffed the rest into her green duffel bag. "Yes, I am." She responded. "I need a shower. I smell like Marlboros and Shifter sweat."
"Riv, you don't. It's in your head. Sit down. I'll make us some coffee. We'll figure something out." Sam said using his best, level headed tone.
River shook her head. "That's becoming our fucking motto, 'we'll figure something out'. When? When I can't see straight and shoot one of you on accident? When I fuck up, again, and get hurt, again." She asked raising her eyebrows questioningly at Sam. He didn't offer an answer so she turned back to Dean. "Please move. I don't want to argue, I want a shower." Dean stood in front of her, jaw set, green eyes narrowed.
"You aren't leaving.." He reached his hand towards her and this time she didn't flinch away. "You aren't going anywhere with that douchebag in your head."
"I'm a liability. You know I am." She took his hand off her arm and kissed his palm. "Between Bobby and Rufus and Levi's books I'll find something. Or I wont. Either way, fuck that bald fuck because he isn't gonna win. He's not going to use me against you. I'm taking my self off the game board." She stepped around him and into the small bathroom. Dean tried to follow her but was stopped when she pushed the flimsy lock into place with a hollow 'click'. He gripped the door frame hard enough to turn his knuckles white.
"Son of a bitch," He muttered angrily. The wet staccato of the shower started a moment later.
"Dean," Sam began.
Dean looked over his shoulder at his brother. "I swear to god, Sammy, if you say she's right-" Their argument was interrupted when the lights flickered followed by River letting out a startled scream. Sam grabbed his gun off the table as Dean kicked the door in causing River to scream again. She clutched the grimy white shower curtain to her chest and screamed at a flustered Castiel in a combination of Enochain and English.
"What the fuck Castiel? Get the fuck out! Out! God damn it Sam, fuck off!" She yelled pointing between the embarrassed Seraphim and the taller Winchester..
"Cas, what the hell dude?" Dean asked for the second time that night.
Castiel looked between River, who was still yelling at him in broken Enochian, and the Winchester's. "I-I-..." His cobalt blue eyes widened, a faint pink color flooding his cheeks.
"Get the fuck out ! All of you! So I can get dressed!" River yelled throwing a bar of soap at Dean's head. The sudsy chunk of soap bounced of his forehead and Dean nodded grabbing Cas by the trench coat and backing all of them out of the shower.
He tried to close the door but it hung lamely from its broken hinges. " I broke the door." Dean said through the splintered hole where the doorknob used to be.
"Thank you Captain Obvious." River yelled back. She flung the door open a few minutes later and it fell completely away from the wall and clattered against the tub. "Yet another room where we are not getting the cleaning deposit back." She muttered stepping around the fractured wood and scrunching her hair dry with a towel. She tossed the damp towel over shoulder and glared at Castiel. "So Cas, what was so god damn important you had to interrupt my shower?"
Castiel tucked his hands in coat, "I said I couldn't help you."
"Yeah, I remember Casie it was like thirty minutes ago. Since you're here can you give me a lift to Bobby's?" She asked tucking a few loose odds and ends into her duffle bag.
Castiel looked between her and Dean. "Why are you going to Bobby Singer's?"
"Because I need to get out of here for a little while until I get this Zachariah thing under control." River answered holding her right hand out towards Cas.
The Angel stared at her outstretched hand before taking it in one of his, "I said I couldn't help you. But I know something that can." From one of the pockets of his coats Castiel retrieved what looked like a small rock covered in green and red streaks of rusty tarnish.
"A dirty rock...thanks Cas." River said looking at the lump in the Angels hand. Castle closed his hands around the rock, completely pulverizing it. "Shit, Cas I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." She said as he relaxed his fingers to show her the pile of dust and pebbles. Castiel blew gently on the dust revealing a small delicate ring.
He held the ring up for River to see reflecting the intricate filigree and deep blue lapis lazuli stone in the dim light from the bathroom. "This belonged to the Prophet, Shamash-Bel." He said. River raised her eyebrows and gave Dean and Sam a look that meant "what the hell is he talking about?"
"Shamash-Bel was a Sumerian prophet. He despised the visions he received from My father, fearing that they would anger the Anunaki, the gods of his people, and he would be put to death for blasphemy." Castiel continued. "Shamash-Bel was desperate to stop his visions. He begged. He prayed for leniency and was denied. So he devised a way to block them." River looked again at the ancient piece of jewelry Castiel held. "This ring is imbued with forbidden Enochian magic. If It can block the Word of God, it can keep Zachariah from entering your dreams."
"How did you know about this?" River asked.
"When Shamash-Bel stooped receiving the Word of God upper management sent an emissary to investigate why. The emissary was under direct orders to turn the Prophet back to the service of God or smite him for disobedience. Shamash-Bel refused the emissary and was put to death. I was that Emissary, I smote the Prophet and buried him in a cave outside of Eridu. I should have destroyed the ring but it was a brilliant piece of magic." He said smiling wryly and slipping the ring onto Rivers right middle finger.
"You sneaky bastard." Dean muttered.
River twisted the ring around her finger, feeling a warm tingling sensation spreading through her hand. "Cas, I hope you won't think we're going steady now or anything because I kind of have a thing with Dean going." She said smiling at the Angel.
"Yes, well if Dean liked it then he should have put a ring on it." He answered. Sam let out a shocked laugh and River punched him in the shoulder.
"Hey, Sassy Casie I don't want you learning pop culture from anyone but me and Dean." She told him.
"I did learn that from Dean. He was singing it-" Cas started.
Dean cleared his throat loudly, "Ok Cas, thank you for that. How do we know that things still going to work?" The Angel sighed and before River could move away from him he touched two fingers to her forehead instantly rendering her unconscious. He caught her before she collapsed to the floor and carried her to the bed. River curled onto her side and began snoring quietly as soon as Castiel laid her down.
"She's going to be pissed at you when she wakes up," Sam said.
Castiel nodded. "At least she will be well rested." He said before disappearing.
Authors note: I just wanted to say thank you to the 100 followers of this story and everyone who has favorited it. It really means a lot. Read, review. I'll try to update soon.