[A/N: It's been a while I know. Thanks for sticking with me!]

Arms full of bottles and bandages, Asha stumbled to a stop where the trees thinned by the dilapidated shack. Her jaw dropped in shock.

A snarling walker, pinned to a tree by several cross bow bolts, clawed towards Daryl and Beth. Daryl held the struggling girl in one rough arm, crossbow dropped over her shoulder, bolt pointed at the thrashing cadaver. As Asha watched, Beth gave a violent twist and lurched out of Daryl's grip. She crossed the distance to the walker in quick steps and it deflated against the tree as she drove her knife into its skull.

'What d'ya do that for?' Daryl demanded, southern accent thicker than usual. 'We was havin' fun.'

'No,' Beth yelled. 'You were being a jackass. If anyone found my father-'

'Don't,' Daryl snapped. 'That ain't even remotely the same.'

'Killing them ain't supposed to be fun,' Beth spat.

'What the hell are you two doing?' Asha hissed. 'Do you have any idea how much noise you're making?'

Beth glanced at her, a flicker of embarrassment crossing her face. Daryl simply snarled.

'What? Ya gonna be the responsible one now? Ya ain't given a shit about anyone but yourself for the last few weeks.'

Asha flinched, but he wasn't wrong.

'Jesus Daryl,' Beth protested.

'What? She ain't. I've been doing this on my damn own since we lost the prison.' He threw his arms in the air. 'What the hell more do ya want from me?'

'Nothing,' Asha whispered, but she didn't think her heard her over Beth.

The young woman jabbed an angry finger in his face. 'I want you to stop acting like you don't give a crap about anything, like nothing we went through matters, like none of the people we lost meant anything to you. It's bullshit. And you,' she turned on Asha. 'I want you to stop acting like the world ended when your damn brother died. You ain't the only one whose lost someone. We've gotta focus on the people who are here!

Asha jerked again, suddenly feeling lightheaded.

Daryl was staring at Beth in shock. 'Is that what you think?'

'It's what I know, Beth said, chin jutting out stubbornly.

'Ya don't know nothin'.'

'I know you look at me and you just see another dead girl.' She shifted to glare at Asha, including her in her tirade. 'You both do. I'm not Michonne or Maggie. I'm not you Asha. But I survived, I'm still here and you don't get it, because I'm not like you or them and you don't get it. But you don't get to treat me like crap because you're...afraid' She tossed her hands upwards. 'And you don't get to baby me because you think I can't take care of myself.'

Asha reached a hand out. 'Beth, that never what I meant-'

'I ain't afraid of nothin'' Daryl snarled over her, still pacing.

Beth glared at him. 'I remember,' she said quietly. 'When that little girl came out of that barn, after my mom.'

Daryl stepped back, face pained.

'You were like me,' Beth continued relentlessly. 'And now God forbid you ever let anyone get too close.' Her eyes flickered, ever so quickly, towards Asha.

'Too close huh…' Daryl snarled. 'You know all about that. Ya lost two boyfriends and ya can't even shed a tear. Ya whole family's gone, and all ya can do is go out looking for some hooch like some dumb college bitch. And you were damn quick to jump on that bandwagon.' The last was directed at Asha.

Asha stared at him, unable to defend herself.

'Screw you, you don't get it.' Beth spat.

'No, you don't get it. Everyone we know is dead.' Daryl's words, hurled angrily into the air, hung there heavily.

'You don't know that, Beth said wide eyed.

'Well they might as well be, cause you ain't never gonna see them again.'

Beth sucked in a sudden shaky breath

Daryl continued ruthlessly. 'You ain't never gonna see Maggie again.' He glared at Asha. 'Or Michonne.'

'You believe she's dead less than I do,' Asha said flatly. Of all of them, except Daryl perhaps, Michonne was capable of surviving on her own.

'Don't mean we'll ever find her...or Rick-' He broke off suddenly, twisting away.

'Daryl, just stop,' Beth said reaching out a hand.

'Nah,' he twisted out her reach. 'The Governor rode right up to our gates. Maybe…' his voice cracked. 'Maybe if I hadn't stopped looking, maybe because I gave up, that's on me.'

Asha's chest suddenly swelled and she stared at him incredulously. The idea that he'd blame himself for the Governor was so ludicrous that it had never occurred to her that he was carrying that around.

And she'd piled Nash on top of that.

'Daryl,' Beth reached for him again but he shook her off, back turned to both of them and shoulders slumped.

'And ya dad,' he said brokenly. 'Maybe I coulda done something... Maybe it woulda even changed things with Nash.'

Beth suddenly launched herself at him, wrapping her arms around him from behind as his body shook. Asha watched for a moment as Beth tried to lend him the comfort of her arms – feeling physically ill with guilt and shame.

Beth's wide eyes locked with hers across Daryl's back, silently appealing for help.

Asha took a steadying breath and moved in front of Daryl, lifting her hands to either side of his face where it hung heavy on his neck.

'You know it wouldn't have made any difference,' she said softly. 'If you'd kept searching for the Governor. There was no trail. You couldn't have done anything that Michonne and I weren't doing, and we were mostly wasting our time.' She lifted his face to meet hers. 'It's not on you.'

His eyes slid away, but she tightened her grip on him.

'None of it. Not the prison, the Governor, Hershel, Nash. It's not on you. Phillip was a fucked up piece of shit and everything that happened is solely on him.' She pulled his jaw gently until his eyes met hers. 'The only thing that's on you is that the prison survived so long in the first place. Don't,' she whispered, seeing the argument building in his eyes. 'I know there was a Council and Rick, but most of it Daryl, for a long time most of it was you. We all knew that.'

'She's right,' Beth murmured behind him.

She didn't expect him to answer, she was just relieved he hadn't broken away from them. She let his head hang again, moving in so that it rested against her shoulder. She slipped an arm around his waist and reached the other around to grip Beth, and for long minutes they stayed like that, wrapped in their own stillness and the comfort of each other.

Later, the three of them sat on the sagging porch, legs outstretched in the night air. The air was cleaner outside the mouldy shack, and the half a dozen empty jars of moonshine that sat beside them suggested they would benefit from that fresh air.

Asha gently flexed and stretched her left hand. The puckered skin still pulled, but she was relieved Beth had been able to pull the stitches out with a pair of nail scissors they'd found in the shack. She tried not to think about how rusty the blades had been.

'Still hurtin'?' Daryl asked, watching her.

'Nah,' she said, dropping her hand to her lap. 'Just stings a bit from the moonshine.'

To be honest, her wrist ached a little from where she'd near wrenched it out of Daryl's grasp when he poured the liquor over her hand. She was pretty sure she'd have a ring of blue bruises to show for it tomorrow.

'Better than gettin' infected.'

She nodded. Judging from the way it had burnt the liquor had been strong enough to kill just about anything.

'I get why my dad stopped drinking,' Beth said, head tipped back against the timber railing.

'Feeling sick?' Daryl asked, eyes narrowed.

'No.' She gave Asha a hard look. 'I did that once already. I wish I could feel like this all the time.' She smiled and gave a half shake of her head. 'That's bad.'

'Ya lucky you're a happy drunk,' Daryl muttered.

'Yeah, I'm happy.' Beth raised both brows at Daryl. 'Some people can be real jerks when they drink.'

Daryl focused on the knife he was using to pick away bits of rotten wood from the railing. Then he half shrugged.

'Yeah, I'm a dick when I'm drunk.'

'Some of us are dicks when we're not drunk,' Asha murmured.

Daryl's eyes met hers briefly before sliding away. He went back to digging at the wood with his knife, and when he spoke his voice was almost hesitant.

'Merle had this dealer, skinny white guy, real tweaker. One day we over at his house watching TV. Wasn't even noon yet, we were all wasted, Merle was high.'

Asha listened silently and still, afraid of breaking the spell of Daryl actually talking about his past.

'We were watching this show. Merle was talking all this dumb stuff about it, wouldn't let up.' He half shook his head. 'Merle never could. Turns out it was the tweaker's kid's favourite show, and he never sees his kid. Guess he felt guilty or somethin'. So he punches Merle in the face. So I started hitting the tweaker. Hard, hard as I can. So he pulls his gun, sticks it right here,' Daryl gestured to his temple. 'Says "I'm gonna kill you bitch." So Merle pulls his gun on him. We're all yelling. I'm yelling.' He shook his head disgustedly. 'Thought I was dead – over a dumb cartoon about a talking dog.'

'How'd ya get out of it?' Beth asked wide eyed.

'Tweaker punched me in the gut, I puked. They both started laughin', forgot all about it.'

'Shit Daryl,' Asha said softly. 'How old were you?'

He shrugged. 'Twelve, thirteen maybe.'

He glanced at both of them before looking back at his knife. He was still flicking bits of the wooden railing away.

'Ya wanna know where I was before all this? I was just driftin' around with Merle, doing whatever he said we were gonna be doing that day.' His eyes were hooded in the dark, and his voice quiet. 'I was nobody. Nothing. Just some redneck asshole, with an even bigger asshole for a brother. Don't,' he said, looking at Asha who had stiffened at his words. 'He was, we both were. Merle ain't ever done a thing in his life that wasn't just about benefiting Merle.'

'Well he wasn't just an ass and neither are you,' she snapped.

Daryl glared at her and she glared back.

'You miss him don't you?' Beth asked softly

Daryl didn't answer.

'I miss him,' Asha admitted. 'I miss him and I miss my brother. For two completely different people they both had a way of make me believe it was possible to survive in this world.' Her throat tightened and she tilted her head away to look at the night.

'Ya reckon they would have got along?' Daryl asked.

Asha thought about her creek side hallucination and wondered how much of it was self gratifying wish fulfilment. 'If they met now in this world, yeah I reckon.'

Daryl snorted. 'Merle didn't get along with anyone in the old world, unless he was using 'em for something. Even I didn't like him half the time.'

Asha snorted softly as her eyes brushed briefly against Daryl's, and she took a gulp from her jar to swallow the lump in her throat.

'I miss Maggie,' Beth said quietly. 'I miss her bossing me around. I miss my big brother Shawn. He was so annoying and overprotective.' Beth smiled sadly before continuing. 'And my dad. I thought...I hoped he'd just live the rest of his life in peace y' know? I thought Glenn and Maggie would have a baby, he'd get to be a grandpa. We'd have birthdays and holidays and summer picnics.'

Asha's eyes filled with tears at the simple picture painted by Beth's words. That's what Hershel had deserved – what they'd all deserved – and for an instant Asha let herself really feel how much she missed their group.

'He'd get really old,' Beth said. 'And it would happen, but it would be quiet. He'd be surrounded by people he loved. It would be ok.' There was a long pause and then she gave a broken half laugh, eyes shining with unshed tears. 'That's how unbelievably stupid I am.' She picked up her jar and took a gulp.

'That's how it's supposed to be,' Daryl said softly.

Beth looked up at the night sky. 'I wish I could just…change.'

'You did,' Daryl answered.

'Not enough, not like you – either of you.'

Daryl grunted. 'I'm just used to things being ugly, growing up in a place like this.'

'You got away from it.'

Daryl snorted. 'Not really, took everything turning to shit before I realised that this,' he glanced around at the shack, 'this ain't everything. Or at least it ain't gotta be.'

His eyes locked with Asha, just for an instant, before sliding away.

'Sometimes I think I've changed more than I wanted to,' Asha murmured under her breath. She didn't think either Beth or Daryl heard her.

'I'll be gone someday,' Beth said softly, looking out into the darkness.

'Stop.' Daryl said

'Jesus Beth,' Asha protested. 'That's a bit bloody maudlin. You've made it this far.'

'I've had a lot of help.'

Asha shook her head. 'You're stronger than you think Beth. None of us really know what we can do until we have to do it.'

That went for the good and the bad.

'Maybe,' Beth said, clearly not convinced. 'But I'm never going to be like you, and Daryl's gonna be the last man standing. You are,' she insisted at the startled look on his face. 'It's like you were made for this world.'

Asha shivered. She suddenly had an image of Daryl alone in this world, having watched everyone he'd ever known or cared about die – and she was suddenly heart broken and scared for the person he'd become if that happened.

Beth smiled. 'You two are gonna miss me so bad when I'm gone.'

Asha choked on her mouthful of moonshine. 'The whole world will miss you when you're gone Bethy, but that's not gonna be anytime soon'

'Yeah,' Daryl growled disgustedly, 'ya ain't a happy drunk at all.'

'I'm happy,' Beth said. 'I'm just not blind.'

She swirled the last of her moonshine around her jar, swallowed it, and focused on Daryl.

'You gotta stay who you are,' she said seriously. 'Not who you were. Places like this, you've got to put it away.'

'What if ya can't.'

Asha looked at him in confusion. 'You already are. You have been for ages.'

Daryl blinked at her a couple of times, and after a moment her face flushed and she looked down at her hands.

'Well…' Beth said as the moment of quiet dragged on. 'I think I'm gonna turn in.' She yawned a little obviously.

'Guess we should all turn in soon,' Asha agreed.

'No no,' Beth said quickly, getting to her feet a little unsteadily. 'You two stay out here and talk. It's good that you're talking again.' Beth was trying hard to bite down on smile, but in her inebriated state she was rather spectacularly failing to hide it.

'What are you on about Beth?'

'Oh come on,' Beth said, grin breaking through. 'Everyone was watching what was going on between the two of you back at the prison. It was beautiful.'

Asha's eyes widened. She'd known Michonne had known, and maybe Rick - although it was hard to tell exactly what he was paying attention to sometimes. But the whole prison? She shifted a little uncomfortably.

Daryl's brows drew down. 'Weren't none of their damn business.'

'Still isn't,' Asha said pointedly to Beth.

'Whatever,' Beth shrugged. 'We may be all each other have left and I am sick of watching you two give each other the silent treatment. So I am going to bed and you two are gonna stay out here and stop acting like idiots and talk.' She wobbled a little as she pushed open the door into the shack.

'Girl thinks everything's a damn romance novel,' Daryl grumbled.

'Guess we shouldn't be surprised people were talking,' Asha sighed. 'What did you tell me once about there not being a tv anymore?'

Daryl snorted.

They locked eyes for an instant and both quickly looked away. The silence quickly lengthened into awkwardness.

Asha suddenly remembered her conversation with Rick about leaving things unsaid –although she probably had even less idea now about what she wanted to say. She rubbed tiredly at her forehead. It would be awkward as all hell maybe, but could it really be worse than things already were?

'I said talk,' Beth called from inside.

Asha swiped both hands down past the corners of her mouth. 'I don't know how many more times I can apologize about what I said about Nash, Daryl. But I meant every word I said earlier, none of what's happened is on you.' The words sounded inadequate even to herself. 'If I'd still thought he was alive, nothing would have stopped me looking for him.'

'Seth said he killed him,' Daryl's voice was quiet. 'He had no reason to lie.'

'I know,' Asha said softly. 'I know it woulda been stupid of me to keep looking after Seth. Maybe he was crazy enough to think he did kill Nash.' Her voice dipped even lower. 'But I'm the one that gave him up.' Her voice was hollow. 'I did the one thing I promised never to do, I gave him up before I knew for sure. That's on me.'

Her head hung, but although her grief swamped her, for a change it didn't feel like it was crushing the life out of her.

'I couldn't watch ya chase a ghost anymore.' Daryl barely breathed the words, and for a minute Asha wasn't sure she'd heard them.

Her eyes widened, and then after a moment she swallowed hard. 'When the outbreak happened, nothing mattered except family. And after Ren, Nash was all I had. But I guess Beth was right about me being obsessed. I couldn't see past that to see what I was doing to my new family.'

Daryl watched her silently, eyes dark, and she hoped he understood that that was as close as she could come to apologising for the selfish way she'd gone about looking for her brother. Apologising for the fact of looking for her Nash was something she just didn't have in her. That train of thought reminded her of something. 'Beth's right you know,' she added. We look for family.'

His brows lifted sharply. 'Where?'

Asha looked at him helplessly. 'Couldn't we go back to the prison and try to pick up a trail there?'

Daryl looked at her strangely. 'We did. The day after leaving. I left you and Beth at that house and circled back after the fires had died down and the dead weren't still being drawn in. Between the Governor's people, ours and the dead, the land was like soup. Couldn't get nothin' from it.'

'Oh.' Asha dropped her eyes. She didn't remember that happening at all.

'I'm sorry for the way I've been since…' She waved a hand vaguely.

Daryl grunted. The sound was noncommittal, but the look he gave her was positively friendly compared to way they'd been glaring at each other recently.

Asha figured it was the best she was going to get - probably the best she deserved if she was being honest with herself.

'I'm done sulking if you are,' she said quietly.

'I ain't been sulking,' he growled.

Her lips quirked a little. 'If I was, you were.'

He sighed and grumbled. 'Yeah, well I guess neither of us have been a bundle of laughs.'

'You've both been total asses,' Beth slurred from inside.

Asha laughed. 'I think Beth may be a little drunk,' she whispered conspiratorially to Daryl.

'She's being damn nosy,' he grumbled.

'You might as well come back out here Beth,' Asha called. 'Least that way we'll remember you're listening.'

Daryl grunted, glancing sourly at the doorway. 'Guess we should go in soon anyway.'

Tightness rippled across his jaw again.

'We shouldn't have stayed here,' Asha said quietly, lifting the last of her moonshine to her lips.

He shrugged. It wasn't like they'd had much choice.

'We should burn it down,' Beth said. She stood in the doorway, eyes bright and wearing a lopsided grin.

Asha choked a little on her mouth of moonshine, but Daryl was watching her seriously. Beth lifted the jar of moonshine in her hand sloshing the liquid around suggestively, her grin growing as it shifted between Daryl and Asha.

Asha felt the corner of her mouth lift in response. She could think of a dozen logical reasons not to burn down their shelter for the night, but Daryl's eyes gleamed as he climbed to his feet and suddenly none of them seemed that important. He took the jar of moonshine from Beth and tossed back a mouthful as he looked around at the filthy stinking structure.

'We're gonna need more booze,' he said.

Beth's grin widened and Asha laughed.

Half an hour or so later, they stood outside the shack, watching the flames lick along the unsteady timbers and feeling the heat of the growing inferno against their faces. Asha still felt a little unsteady on her feet, but considering the strength of the shine quite frankly she was impressed with her self restraint. She glanced at Daryl. He of course looked unaffected by the alcohol, except perhaps that his eyes were a little too bright, but that could have just been reflected firelight. He stared at the blaze, face unreadable, but it was unmarked by the tension that had charterised it since they'd fist caught sight of the building. On the other side of him, Beth was swaying alarmingly and humming to herself as she gave the burning house the finger.

He must have felt her gaze, and he looked over, and Asha shivered as she realised that for the first time in a long time they were looking at each other without any hostility or tension. She gave a small smile.

The corner of Daryl's mouth lifted and he reached over and tugged the last jar of moonshine from where it was cradled in Asha's hands. Asha narrowed her eyes, but gave it up. In a swift movement, he hurled it into the blaze, flames suddenly surging as the glass shattered.

'I was gonna drink that,' she said arching a brow.

'I know,' he answered, eyes gleaming at her with reflected firelight.

After a moment Asha nodded.

They watched a moment longer, until the shadows shifted with more than dancing firelight and the crackle of the fire was undercut with the moans of the dead.

Daryl grunted, nudging Beth in the shoulder and gesturing with his head into the darkness. But there was a small smile on his lips as they turned away - and as Asha heard the timbers of collapsing into burning oblivion behind her, she felt one tug her own lips in response.