Shore leave Kathryn Janeway style
Kathryn was right. Admiral Hayes shooed her out of his office as soon as she said the word leave. Three months. She had three months leave of absence from Starfleet. She didn't recall a time when she had been away from Starfleet for three months before.
She went home and gave Sekaya and her mother a call. Both were happy to hear that Kathryn's leave was granted, and especially Gretchen was relieved that Kathryn had finally found a place where she could rest and relax.
Not that Kathryn had resting and relaxing in mind. She wanted to help the community with their new transporter station. That was her kind of relaxing.
And she wanted to work with Chakotay. She was glad that he had agreed to it without hesitation, and when her bags were packed, she left the apartment with a smile on her face.
The next morning, Kathryn was roused by a loud, happy chattering child. From what she could hear she guessed that Sekaya and Maya were saying their good-bye to Phil as he left for work. If that was true, it must be later than she expected.
She didn't mind, though. A light summer breeze came through the open window and she sighed contentedly as she snuggled deeper into her pillow. She had slept better than she had in years and despite her usual manner, she could stay in bed.
Only that she couldn't, because Chakotay had promised to pick her up and she didn't want him to wait. The fact that Phil had already left meant that she only had time for a coffee and so she rose begrudgingly and walked into the small adjoining bathroom to get ready for the day.
When she was finished, she walked downstairs and found her host family in the kitchen. "Good morning," she said to Sekaya and Maya, who sat at the breakfast table.
"Good morning," Sekaya smiled. "Coffee is on the counter."
"Thanks."
Kathryn poured a cup and joined them.
Maya crawled off her chair. "I made you lunch!" she exclaimed happily and handed Kathryn a lunch basket.
"Thank you," Kathryn said surprised and placed the basket on the table.
"I made one for her and she insisted on making one for you," Sekaya chuckled and took a sip of her coffee.
"That's very thoughtful of you," Kathryn smiled at Maya.
Pleased, Maya climbed her chair and in that moment the front door opened and Chakotay walked in.
"Good morning," he said and tousled Maya's pitch-black hair.
"No!" she squealed, bringing her hair back into order.
"You're ready?" he asked Kathryn.
"Yes."
She drained her cup and grabbed her lunch basket and together they left the house. The sun was shining but it wasn't too hot yet and she swung her lunch basket back and forth.
"I hope there's more inside than just a pot of coffee," he pointed out.
"I don't know. Maya made it."
"She never made me a lunch basket."
"I would think about that," she teased him, nudging him with her elbow.
He didn't follow suit, and she pressed her lips together, not knowing what to say. There was a time when they naturally engaged in playful banter and she missed those easy, joyful conversations. On Voyager, they were a light in dark times, but it seemed that there was nothing left of it.
Staying silent, she walked beside him and to her relief they approached the building site quickly.
"This…," Chakotay gestured at the half finished house. "… is going to be the centre of our community. A place for festivities, gatherings, town meetings…"
"Impressive."
"And…" He guided her to a large door at the right. "… it's also going to contain our new transporter station."
They entered the room and inside a man and a woman inspected components for the transporter. They looked up and Chakotay introduced them. "Kathryn, this is Haley."
"Hi."
Kathryn shook the hand of the beautiful young woman. Her hair was pitch-black like so many people had here, and her brown eyes sparkled with joy and curiosity.
"It's great to meet the infamous captain of Voyager."
"Don't mention it," Kathryn waved her hand dismissively. "It's nice to be here."
"I'm Hank," the man about her age with bright blue eyes and dark blonde hair, introduced himself.
"Hank is our local technology expert."
"That's too much, Chakotay. I'm not an expert. I know a thing or two, so I volunteered for this job. I'm glad you're here though, and I'll be happy to assist you."
"We'll get this thing up and running in no time," Kathryn promised, ready to get her hands dirty.
"I'll leave you to your work," Chakotay said and turned to leave.
"Wait," Kathryn said, surprised. "You're not working with us?"
"No. I'm on the construction team. We're building the rest of the house."
"Oh." Kathryn could barely hide her disappointment.
He frowned slightly. "Something's wrong?"
"No, no. Everything is fine," she forced herself to smile.
He nodded and left, and she needed a moment to swallow her disappointment before she turned to her colleagues. "Well then, let's get started," she said with feigned enthusiasm and clapped her hands once.
=/\=
The next few days were easier for Kathryn. After the initial disappointment she had learned nothing to expect from Chakotay. She focused on her task and soon established a working routine.
She liked the work, it was simple enough to not get stressed out, and demanding enough to keep body and mind occupied. Her colleagues were glad to have her, and she liked working with them. Haley was a bright, talented young woman who was facing her last year of school and played with the thought of joining Starfleet Academy. Kathryn encouraged her to do so, Starfleet would be lucky to have her. Hank was a mechanic and he reminded Kathryn of Tom. He was easy to work with and always had a joke on his lips.
Most of her free-time Kathryn spent with Sekaya and Maya. Maya was so excited that Kathryn stayed at their house that she hardly left her alone. Kathryn liked to play with the little girl and care for her, but every now and then she needed some time alone. Then she went for a walk all by herself and got to know the vicinity.
She could walk for hours, along the lake, across the pastures or through corn fields or the small wood. She was fascinated by the nature around the village and sometimes she took her swim gear with her and went for a swim in the lake. It was healing and she felt better each day.
She would feel even better if she could spend some time with Chakotay. She began to understand what B'Elanna meant when she said that he was hiding. She had only caught a few glimpses of him at the building site, but she had never seen him at Sekaya's house or on her walks. His behavior worried her and he was always on her mind.
When she'd first arrived, the weather was sunny and warm but it was getting hotter each day, and on Friday it was unbearable. The sun was burning mercilessly from a cloudless sky and no breeze blew. The air conditioning system in the new public house wasn't operational yet, so they decided to end work early that day.
On her short way back to Phil and Sekaya's house, Kathryn was covered in sweat. As much as she liked bright and sunny weather, she needed something to cool off. She thought of going to the lake to swim, but the prospect of sharing it with many children and teenager wasn't very inviting.
Arriving at the house, she decided to take a quick shower and changed into a light summer dress. Then she grabbed a bottle of water and her book and went outside to find a nice, secluded spot to rest.
Her knowledge of the neighborhood came in handy, and she could walk the shortest way to the small wood. Beneath the trees it was cooler and she could smell the nearby lake. For a while she heard the delighted shrieks of the children who played in the water but soon it was quiet, and even the birds seemed to need a pause. Coming to a meadow, she lay on the green grass in the shadows of the trees. The grass was cool on her back and she gazed at the blue sky before she took her book and began reading.
She didn't know how long she lay there, but the sun was about to lower itself towards the horizon when she saw Chakotay approaching. Surprised, she laid her book on her stomach and smiled at him.
"Hi."
"Hi."
He didn't explain his presence, he simply sat down next to her. "Enjoying the silence?"
"Very much so."
"I did the same when I came here after the debriefings," he told her, looking at the sky. "It…"
"…rooted you?"
"Yes."
"It is truly a special place," she sighed contently and shifted. "I can understand why you chose to live here."
"It wasn't a difficult decision to make."
She took the opportunity that was opening up and tried to be forthcoming. "Chakotay, what is wrong with you?" she asked and sat up.
"Nothing," he said, surprised. "Why do you think there's something wrong?"
"I can feel it."
"You're seeing things."
She shook her head. "No. Something is different and I want to know what it is."
"There isn't anything different."
"Oh, yes. There is. Don't think I didn't notice it, Chakotay." He didn't respond, so she went on. "You've changed deeply since we got home from the Delta Quadrant and to be honest, I don't recognize you anymore. What happened?"
"Nothing," he repeated and she felt him shutting her out. "We've all changed."
"Yes, but you…" she trailed off and looked closely at him, trying to pinpoint what was different. "Your smile!" she almost shouted.
"What!?"
"You don't smile anymore!"
"Kathryn, this is ridiculous. Of course I smile."
"No," she shook her head. "A small smile, perhaps. But it never reaches your eyes. And since you popped up in my office last month I haven't seen your dimples."
He faced her, surprised. "Kathryn!" he exclaimed, shocked, but she saw a hint of a smile at the corner of his lips.
"Chakotay, please tell me, what is upsetting you?"
"I'm not upset."
"Then why are you hiding from everyone?"
He looked at the horizon and didn't answer.
"You don't want to tell me?"
"There is nothing to tell," he snapped and she knew he was close to leaving.
She stopped asking and laid a hand on his arm. "I just want you to be happy," she told him softly.
She saw him swallowing hard and decided to let it be for now. Quietly, she removed her hand from his arm and laid back.
To her delight, he laid down next to her.
"I heard you're making progress on the transporter," he said after a while.
"We are."
"Good."
She saw him nodding once out of the corner of her eyes.
"I have a great team."
"They like you."
"And I like them. I'm just sad that you aren't working with us," she admitted and looked at him to see his reaction.
He shifted but didn't meet her eyes. "I'm working on the construction team," he said, his voice sounded strangled. "They were short-handed."
Not wanting to pressure him, she held any more questions back and nodded simply.
She couldn't shake her worries, though. She felt that he wasn't happy and she decided to talk to Sekaya. Maybe she knew the reason.
Turning her head away from him, she gazed at the sky and enjoyed having him close for the first time in a very long time.