Bitter Medicine

Warning only self-edited.

Chapter 2- Just out of Reach.

This is impossible, isn't it? Van is here on earth, looking at me with those deep mahogany eyes. Ones I see only in my dreams. Too warm and molten to be considered something as boring as brown. His words sink in and the pieces just don't match. How can he not know why he's here? What happened to the king of Fanelia that would put him in a Japanese hospital bandaged and broken like this?

Then I remember yesterday. At first everything was normal. I was running in practice after school when I felt my heart begin to race in a way that had nothing to do with the activity. It was almost like I could taste fear in my mouth, as though something terrible was coming for me.

The only time I felt that level of terror was while standing on the edge of a lake, with the moon and earth hanging together in the blue midday sky. Van trapped, surrounded by Zaibach Guymelifs, and a wild shot of deadly silver liquid metal heading right for me. The screaming panic that froze me in place, before Allen took the damage instead.

This time there wasn't a visible reason for the feeling, but I felt my knees go weak and vision fade to darkness. Surrounded by nothing, a black void, yet I continued to run. There wasn't a ground or sky, just a deep nothingness everywhere. Still I kept trying to move forward, getting nowhere.

Then something red fell in the distance, as though sinking slowly through black water. It almost looked like a person, and Van was all I could think about. The bright color of his shirt the only thing that distinguished him from the rest of the nothingness, and I knew I was right.

Pushing harder, trying with all my heart to reach him before he fell out of sight, because somehow when he was gone it would be too late. This wasn't a theory, but fact that I could feel in my very core. A bright pink light flared in the darkness, my pendant, the one I left with a boy who I loved. I can see him clearer now, the wild black hair almost indistinguishable for the nothingness around us. His lanky form still falling, tan pants stained red in places nearly the color of his iconic shirt.

"Van!" I call, fighting to run harder, get closer. I can see he's hurt and losing the fight with consciousness. I can't let him give up. "Van!"

I yell until my throat feels raw and tears drip hotly down my face. Still I can't reach him, but somehow the distance doesn't seem to matter as much. His eyes which were unfocused before are drawn towards my voice. Also, the boy doesn't seem to bee falling as fast, and a pale light above him was then visible. One gloved hand reached outward towards me through the darkness. I stretched for him but right before we could touch, I woke up.

My eyes open and staring upward at a strangely moving ceiling. Florescent lights overhead and sloping angled sterile white walls on either side. I was securely strapped onto a narrow bed, or I'd guess stretcher, because I assume this was the inside of an ambulance. It was my first time in one, but I vaguely remember what they looked like from the time one came to take Grandma Yuri away. The last time I'd seen her alive, after all the stroke was quite sudden.

That's how I got to the hospital. Normally I would have just gone to the nurse's office, like the other times I fainted, but this was a repeat offence without noticeable cause. It didn't help that I was unresponsive for a while. The biggest fear was that either I'd hit my head, or it was a problem with my heart.

It's not like I could just tell them I wasn't the one who needed help. Or would anyone believe it was another vision. I had those from time to time, less often since returning home, but still there.

The doctors ran tests, without anything really wrong with me. Sure, I worried about Van and whether what I saw could be prevented or if it had already happened. If I could get out of here, then maybe there was still something I could do. Now I see it was too late.

As if there was a string around my heart and it gave a sharp tug, pulling me towards him. All that really mattered now was the solid feel of his body against mine, the realness of not being a dream. He was hurt, but still alive thank god.

It took me a minute to break eye contact with the young king. The nurses, both mine and his were talking to me, but I hadn't really heard. One urging me to return to my room I guess, but the other was asking questions about Van. She was the one I focused on now.

"Sorry, could you repeat that?" I realized that it might look odd for me to continue hugging another patient. Letting him go I step away my face feeling burning hot.

"Miss, do you know this patient?" His nurse asked with a hopeful look in her eyes. Van's words seemed to sink in then. He didn't know what happened to him, but it seemed so impossible that the stubborn fighter wouldn't even remember his own name.

"Yes, his name is Fanel, Van Fanel." There wasn't a glimmer of recognition in the eyes of the bandaged boy. "He turned sixteen as of April and doesn't have any family. So, I'd be his only emergency contact."

I watch as she writes out the information, seeing his name in katagana for the first time was almost as strange as the rest of this. With a quick glance back up at me she asks, "And your relationship with Mr. Fanel?"

Some how my face flushes deeper when I hadn't thought it possible. "I'm his girlfriend, Hitomi Kanzaki."

I know I'd have to answer more questions, but if that means I'm able to be here at his side, none of it mattered. Sure, we hadn't really defined our relationship in words, just feelings, but it's not something I could really explain to them.

Why then did I find myself filling out paperwork, and making up a story about long distance? They all seemed to believe it when I said he must have come on a surprise visit, from Korea. The shocking part was when one of the nurses addressed Van in Korean, which I had lied was his native language. What was more surprising was that he responded back in rapid words I didn't understand but knew wasn't Fanelian.

Was it the work of the pendent that he could respond to any language spoken to him or was that just the work of royal tutors and draconian blood?

Last night someone had been yelling from this room and I gathered that it was Van. So, without the pendant he was still able to speak and understand Japanese, in that case it could be him, or our native tongues were just that similar. Then again while I wore the necklace, I could read ancient characters that told the story of Atlantis and it's fall. So maybe the stone had something to do with Van's new skill after all.

While I was taking care of the details for my forgetful friend, I could feel my mother's eyes on me. As though my face would tell the story without words, and maybe it would. Still she needed an explanation. I'd have to get her help for the next part after all.

Finishing up I went back to my own room, even though what I really wanted was to go back to Van's side.

"So, this boyfriend of yours, has he traveled a long way to be here?" Mother's voice held a knowledge that Van was from a bit farther away then Korea.

Still my face flushed all over again. "Yes, that is Van." I'd told my family about bits of my adventures on Gaia, not the scariest parts of course. Mother and Yukari were really the only ones that believed me. Everyone else called it a girlish fantasy, well that was the ones being on the nicer side. "I don't know what happened to him, but even if he could go back like this, I don't think he should. He's saved me so many times, so I really think I need to be here for him through everything."

Again, she understood even what I wasn't saying. "With memory loss who knows what happened, or who is waiting for him on the other side."

"Exactly!" I relaxed a little that we were on the same page there. Still I hesitated to ask the rest, it was a huge thing after all. "He only seems to remember me right now."

"And you want to take him home with us until he is better and can go back on his own." It wasn't a question only a statement of fact.

"Yes, the problem is I can go home today, but he's really hurt." Thinking about Van's injuries made something painful stab in my chest.

"Then we find out when he is being released and come back." There was something I couldn't read in the stubborn purse of her lips. Did my mother think she owed this to Van, or was it something else?

As it turned out as long as the wild-haired boy remained calm and didn't pull any stiches they only wanted to keep him for observation one more day. So, I changed into the clothes mother brought me from home, checked out as a patient, and returned to Van's room as a visitor.

At first, he was just quietly watching me. I didn't want to overload his injured brain with information before he was ready, but it still took a lot of restraint on my part to not blurt everything out. A good distraction was my school books since I missed today's classes and break started tomorrow. I'd already gotten some of my summer assignments, and Yukari would probably bring me the rest after classes let out officially.

"Are you a student?" Van's voice from the bed almost started me.

"Yes, I'm a second year now." His bandaged head tilted as if not quite understanding the term but didn't really want to say anything about it. I hoped I didn't have to explain since public school on another planet wasn't relatable for him under normal circumstances. "I have another year and a half still left."

"Am I a student?" He asked innocently.

"No," I shook my head. What did I say now? You're a king of a small agriculture-based country, but you don't have time for studies since you must deal with dragons and other countries politics. "You had tutors in the past though."

That seemed to be an acceptable answer because he nodded slightly and went silent again. Most of the time it was like that between us. Van was never much of a talker when it came to himself. Sure, he could be outspoken, but that had more to do with getting his point across to others than anything else. I did my best to answer truthfully hoping something would spark his vacant memory, but nothing seemed to, and I didn't want to push things too far too fast. After all he'd been hurt just yesterday, and people all healed differently.

I was reluctant to leave, when visiting hours were over, and mother had come back to get me. Packing my books slowly I tried not to look at Van, though I could feel his eyes on me like the brush of a warm caress.

"Get some rest and I'll see you tomorrow." Before I could take another step a hand with callouses from continual training gripped my wrist. His touch was firm, but not rough, and he looked as though the act was unconsciously done.

"You always seem to be the one leaving me." There was something sure, yet sad in his voice that pulled at my heart. It seemed as if he'd remembered more on his own, but I didn't want to force things by confronting it directly.

I moved so that our fingers could intertwine, the first time we've held hands without our lives in danger. It felt nice to be a little bit closer to him without a reason other than I wanted to. "I always come back though." For some reason I wasn't embarrassed or nervous, just warm all over. "If love had been enough, I would never have left, but we both still have a lot of growing up to do. I'll come back for you as long as it's still what you want." I was partly talking about here and now, but also the future. I was always going to return to him, but I needed to finish my life here before the one there could really start.

He nodded again, and released my hand, if a little reluctantly. I went home with the lingering feel of his touch still on my skin. It was strange to see Van without his normal leather gloves, but this way seemed so much more personal, skin to skin even if it was just our hands. Maybe living with him wasn't such a good idea after all.

Yukari had dropped my remaining summer assignments off while I was still at the hospital, and I was grateful not to have her questions poking into everything quite yet. She's my best friend, but for a little bit I want to let things happen naturally without putting too much thought into this strange situation.

I ate a quiet dinner of leftovers alone, as mother needed to take a late shift at work these days. Since Father left us work seemed to be one of the only things that helped keep her from falling apart completely. It hurt worse because their split was entirely my fault. One parent believed my story of another planet beyond the moon while the other didn't. I'd disappeared for months after all, missed school, and came back with crazy stories. It drove a wedge in their already strained marriage. My little brother was too young to understand what was happening but chose to leave with father, who he idolized.

After cleaning up my dishes I knew the best thing to do now was to keep busy. So, I went into Mamoru's vacant room with the goal of making it livable. Changing sheets, clearing away dust, and vacuuming the floor kept me occupied for a little while. It felt odd that Van would be staying with us, but in a way not unexpected given the situation.

From the moment I met the hard-headed boy we'd been together one way or another, until I returned home that is. Now the tables had turned, and he was the one stuck on an alien planet with no one else to rely on. He had me though, and it was with that thought I fell asleep.

My dreams were not peaceful. Full of flickering images strangely distorted and seemingly out of order. A clear blue sky in the rebuilt Fanelia, Crumbling Zaibach with greenish fog filled streets. The peaceful white marble cemetery surrounded by protective trees. Screams and crashes in a dimly lit laboratory. Calm determination changing into confused rage. Strength and weakness. Happiness, then blood and pain.

I woke in a cold sweat trying to piece it all together. Was this a bit of Van's lost memories bleeding over to me? I hoped not, but somehow knew it was. I wanted to know more yet feared sinking too deep into the darkness hidden there. This wasn't everything, like trying to put together a jigsaw puzzle with the center parts still missing.

Unable to go back to sleep I got up and washed quietly not wanting to wake mom who'd come in from work after I'd already turned in. I saw how hard it was for her to start over, but she kept a calm attitude and would get mad at me if I tried to take the blame for the rift in our family. If I hadn't come back would they have fought so much? Would father still choose to leave?

Before everything I didn't even know how to make a bento or do my own laundry, but now I did my best to help out. So, I made breakfast and tried to think not about the sad things. There seemed to be more of them these days. Still I had Van to think about now and helping him get better came first.

I didn't want to let my mind wander to what would happen when his memory returned, and he went back to his own world. Fanelia always came first, and I understood that. I always knew it, but something fluttered wildly in my stomach to this that I was the first thing he remembered. Like I'd swallowed a tiny bird, it was hope.

Trying to distract myself I made dishes for lunch to be served after the boy was discharged. When I'd finally finished cleaning up mother came in and sat down to eat the breakfast, I'd set aside for her. She looked tired but cheerful.

"Is everything ready?" I knew she was asking about Mamoru's room without bringing up the son living across town.

"Yes, finished that yesterday before bed." I nodded slightly but turned away to focus on rearranging things in the refrigerator, even though it didn't really need it.

"Good girl." She said simply and returned to eating silently. The trip to the hospital was just as quiet and subdued. I knew that my parents had argued again after I was discharged yesterday morning. Father insisted that there must be a medical reason that I keep passing out, and saying it was from strong visions was not an acceptable answer. He was one of those people that believe firmly in only what he can see and feel. He never believed grandmother Yuri ever had an adventure that didn't happen in an overactive imagination.

While mother went to see what paperwork was needed to take custody of the misplaced king, I went right in to see him. Van was sitting upright though it had to hurt with cracked ribs, he never let the slightest discomfort show.

"You came back." There was a slight hitch to his voice that made me think that he hadn't entirely believed that I would return.

"Of course," I sighed setting the small bag I'd brought on the chair I used most of my last visit. His dark eyes moved to it automatically. "Thought you might want to wear some real clothes out of here. Sorry, but I had to guess the right size."

Mother was better at this sort of thing, so we stopped on our way here to find something Van could wear. The outfit he was transported in had been cut up and covered in blood, probably under a whole day's worth of garbage in the dumpster out back. Still I tried my best to find a serviceable replacement along with a few pairs of pajamas. The later was more likely to be wore while he recovered.

"Thanks," he muttered, and even I could see the color heating his neck and ears. We both seemed quite aware that a hospital gown was all he was wearing.

Mother and a nurse walked in at that moment. "Well Mr. Fanel it looks like you are all set to go. Ms. Kanzaki has a copy of instructions for medicine and dressing changes. You should return in ten days to have your stitches removed. Until then rest is the best thing you can do."

Some how I doubted Van would submit to coming back under any circumstance. This was the best place for him to land when he was injured, but the stubborn teen would be gone the moment his memory came back, stiches in his leg in all. Luckily, they had a male help him change, but that wouldn't always be the case. Mother had already made it clear that his care was my responsibility alone.

Other then resisting the wheelchair initially, the trip to the car was uneventful. As was the ride home. I know the vehicle was strange and worrisome to Van, but he just kept his eyes closed the whole drive. Part of it was he didn't want to admit not knowing what things were, but I thought his head would be splitting with pain from watching scenery blur past the window.

I hadn't gotten the chance to tell the lanky boy much about himself, or the world he came from. The fact is everything seemed strange and unrecognizable to him was normal, but he didn't know that. Part of me wanted to see his real reaction to new things here, instead he hid the questions and kept silent. This wasn't quite like the arrogant prince who first landed on my school track nor was he the battle worn king that I had fallen in love with. A Van without memory was stuck somewhere in the middle and I am still not quite sure how to really help him.

We arrived at home and though the stubborn boy was still hurt, refused to use the crutches provided by the hospital. Instead he tried to walk unassisted. I could tell his leg and ribs both bothered him, so I slid under his right arm trying to support his weight. This put the long lean line of his body against mine, so close it was impossible not to notice how much taller he'd grown in the months since we said goodbye. His shoulders broader, muscles more defined, beyond the half-way point to the man he would become.

It took effort on both our parts to get him up the stairs and settled into Mamoru's room. The narrow bed never seemed so far away as when I had to pretend that my face wasn't burning from this prolonged contact. His naturally tanned complexion was pale with the strain of recent wounds, but still he didn't complain once.

Once the boy was settled into bed more of less comfortably. I went to make us some lunch. Just for us, since mother had already gone back to work. Most parents wouldn't trust two unrelated teens to keep their hands to themselves alone together, I know my father wouldn't. It was nice that I at least had one person to believe in me. There had been a time on Gaia where only people I could depend on was the strange boy and our small odd group of friends. Now the tables had turned, Van was left with just me. I understood how it felt to be in his place, at least partly.

We ate our meal in silence, much like our time spent together yesterday. It wasn't until I went to take the dishes back down stairs that Van spoke.

"Why are you helping me like this?" His eyes weren't on me, but the patterned bedspread covering his lap.

"How much do you remember?" I returned his question with my own. Part of me wanted to just blurt out everything, but still I hesitated not wanting to push him too far.

He thought for a moment and I could see from the way his brows furrowed that he was trying to gather the thoughts like fish in a stream, easily slipping through his fingers.

"You mostly." The two words made my cheeks flush instantly, I felt better once I noticed that his neck and ears went a bit red too. "Your eyes and the way you've said my name were the first things really. Then I remembered being hurt, but not how. I recall what it looks like from the inside of a prison cell, even without knowing why. When I thought this necklace was gone it drove me mad." At the last statement Van touched the pendent almost reverently.

That was more then I expected really and the bits and pieces coming back already were a good sign. Taking a deep breath, I sat on the edge of his bed trying not to jostle him but wanting to be on the same level for this conversation.

"I'll tell you what I know, but if it makes things worse, I'll stop." He opened his mouth to argue, then shut it again without speaking and just nodded once in agreement. "Your name is Van Salazar de Fanel, and you are not from Korea, but a small country called Fanelia. It's on Gaia, a planet just beyond the moon so that you can see this planet in the sky as well, but you call it the mystic moon. We met the day you killed a dragon as a final test to become king."

Van's calloused hand reached out gripping my wrist as if the contact would ground him in reality. "Fire and blood. A dull sword on armored flesh." He said the fragmented memories, pulling on my arm so that my open palm raised to his cheek. "You saved me."

"Yes." I confirmed the memory and the slap that followed, but the contact was almost a caress this time. After that I spoke of being transported together for the first time all the way through the war, until the day he removed the energist from Escaflowne and sent me home. The whole adventure was told with starts and stops along the way, then there were parts I didn't experience personally and did my best to fill in the blanks. Still it was nice to see him become more himself even a little.

It was hard to talk about my confused infatuation with Allen that led to that disastrous kiss in the rain, but Van deserved the whole truth, and he was part of that memory too.

"Did you love the knight?" The injured boy wouldn't meet my eyes, so I could tell some of the hurt from that time still remained deep down.

"No, I thought I did." It took a lot to admit it. "It was a silly crush only, and I didn't really know what love was back then. It took me a long time to realize that it was always you. By then I needed to go home, but the feelings I had then are still strong today."

He looked up and though I wanted to shy away from the intensity, there was something deeply powerful in the expression Van had now. "You love me?"

"I do." For some unknown reason I was no longer embarrassed. It was easy to admit this truth.

Now he was the first to look away. "I'm glad, because I love you too."

I wished that I could fit all the missing parts of his memory together, but the last eight months since I left were beyond me. Deep down I know that I could pull out my tarot cards with their painted faces and dig down into things I have no other way to see, but it was better that I didn't. When I returned from Gaia, I decided to leave my fortunetelling there where it belonged. Remembering wasn't really my job this time. Van needed to do it all on his own as part of the healing process. Still I wanted to help and protect him as much as possible.

After my story telling part of the day, he seemed tired, so I went down stairs to start preparing dinner. It did appear that what he needed most was to sort out his thoughts, it was something Van had to do alone. When I returned to the room it was to see his still back. He'd fallen asleep while I was gone.

Setting down the tray I carefully pulled the blankets up tucking his lean body under covers patterned with a baseball motif. Seeing him there looking so young almost took my breath away. When sleeping the worry and stress of things I could never understand didn't sit so heavy on him. Whatever happened to have put him here wasn't sitting on the back of his mind at the moment.

I was just so thankful that he ended up where help was nearby, and I could look after him. Brushing the black tendrils of wild hair away from his peaceful face. I was forcefully reminded me that Van had to grow up far too fast. We both did, but maybe for this short time while he's recovering, we could be normal. Like everyone else even if it was just for a short time.

So, I went back down stairs to find mother home. Giving her a brief update of my first day as nurse while reheating her portion of dinner. Over all it wasn't much of an improvement, but now even the little bits he had remembered was quite amazing. Everything points to this situation being temporary, and I intend on making the most of it.

I checked on Van a few more times before going to bed myself, but he hadn't even shifted. The last thought I had before falling asleep was about how best to spend this time together. Then the images began, faster then last night. I recognized some of the memories this time. Blood and battlefields, along with the feel of strength at my control. Inside the Escaflowne's pilot chamber anything can happen. There is a change, but not a sublet one. Kneeling on a roof under a clear blue sky, the rough shingles being hammered into place by the same hands the once gripped a sword like second nature.

This was the past, both the unstoppable fighter and the calm king just trying to rebuild his kingdom. Still something was missing, and a feeling of hopelessness overtook even the small peace that he'd been trying to make. The world shattered, and he was falling into darkness.

I awoke to the screaming. Not mine, but from the next room over, Van. Leaping from bed it felt like I was out the door before my feet even touched the carpet. Pushing my way into his room I slightly expected to see someone attacking the injured boy. Thrashing on the bed, eyes screwed shut in remembered pain and trauma.

"Van, what is it?" He continued to fight, and my eyes were drawn to the bandages wrapped around his wounds. If he kept like this up, they would reopen causing more damage. So, I tried to wake him. It didn't work, he jerked and thrashed harder. Something had calm him down, but my mind had gone completely blank.

Without thinking I climbed into the narrow bed next to him. At the contact he stilled. His hoarse screaming stopped as suddenly as it had started. This was all I could do. Hold him close and run my fingers through his thick hair.

"I'm here." I whispered, feeling his breath come out as quick exhausted pants against my collar bone. "It's okay, because I'm here for you. Always." It was the most natural thing in the world. Pressing a kiss to his forehead the tension seemed to melt away.

To Be Continued…

A/N- Sorry this took so long. I moved, was transferred. It was quick and so here we are reporting to a new unit one that is supposed to get underway very soon. With or without pay. Because I'm Coast Guard. Here we are a month into a Government Shut down where they took steps to make sure the D.O.D was going to be covered, but forgot about the D.H.S. It's kind of stupid, really very much so. This is all over a wall half the country wants and the other half doesn't. Immigration is the big issue, and everyone who's job it is to monitor the problem are working without pay without a resolution in sight; I.C.E, Boarder Patrol, TSA, and Coast Guard. I'm okay because we had savings, but it still hurts. Not everyone is as lucky or prepared, so the longer this goes on the harder it is going to be on so many people.

I really wanted to get this out to you because I didn't know how long it will take me to get more done. If I go on patrol, there won't be anything updated for who knows how long. I'll have spotty to no internet connection for months. Thank you everyone who reviewed the first chapter. I'll do what I can to keep up with writing, but no promises on if I'll be able to post. Heck I've gone months without an update before, but this time I have something other than my unpredictable muse to blame.

This chapter still feels a little disjointed. Please stick with it I swear it will get better. A lot of you liked the idea and so much more is still to come. We see things from Hitomi's side here, but next chapter is back to Van. True to her personality we get more questions than answers with the girl. Please stay tuned. I can't wait to hear what you think!