Buried
"Hey, you okay, Weiss?"
Ruby finally asks when it's just the two of them. It's not the first time she's asked the question. She's asked it plenty of times already. She's asked it in searching looks, in reassuring touches, in understanding patience. In just about every other way without words, she's asked her the same question.
It's only now that she fully voices her obvious concern.
"Why wouldn't I be?" Weiss scoffs because how else is she suppose to cope? "I just learned that I went through all that trouble to get out of Atlas and now I'm going back. Of course, I'm okay. Everything's peachy."
It's not the first time she's deflected her answer either.
"If my father finds out about this— which he will no doubt— then he'll paint me as the sniveling child who ran away from home only to come crying back to her father," She vents on, her tone fluctuating between sarcasm and pained resignation. The dry mockery is a poor excuse for a coping mechanism but it's the easiest to fall back to.
It's all she has left at this point.
"And don't even get me started on how he will use it against me as if disowning me wasn't enough for him. Just like everything I've ever worked myself for, it's never enough for him." She lets out a frustrated snarl. If it hasn't really sunk in yet that she's now just an ex-heiress then her father will surely remind her upon her return. "Let's also not forget the fact that—"
Words catch in her throat as something else entirely catches her off guard.
"What do you think you're doing?" She asks, skeptic but not necessarily complaining.
"I needed a hug." Ruby's answer comes out soft, gentle, like how her arms encircle around her with utmost care and tenderness.
Contrary to her words, she hugs her as if she's not asking for a hug. She hugs her as if hugging her back was unquestionable. But it's not a demand. It's never a demand with Ruby, despite her having the authority as leader to demand it, she never does. Not with Weiss. With her, she just leads and she lets her partner make the decision to follow.
It's with this thought out consideration that makes the hug feel so loving that Weiss can't help but fall.
Fall into her arms yet still refusing to fall apart.
"You needed a hug?" Weiss asks half in disbelief and half in amusement because only Ruby could say something so silly and genuinely mean it. The familiarity of it all brings her greater comfort than she thought.
Unconsciously, she lets out a relaxed sigh to which Ruby replies with a happy hum.
"Yeah. I needed a hug," Ruby mumbles against her shoulder, nuzzling against her with affection so warm that it seeps under skin and thaws the ice in her veins. "I needed a hug from you."
When Weiss finally raises her arms to return the embrace, she thinks that she needed this hug too.
"Feeling better?" Ruby asks only after she feels Weiss sink into the embrace enough that her chin feels heavy on her shoulder.
Her answer comes in the way she mumbles something incoherent against her shoulder. Ruby doesn't need to know what she said to understand how she felt. She could feel it underneath her fingertips already after all, the pleasant hum of skin, the relaxed breaths, the warmth she's reciprocating.
Ruby knows that Weiss is feeling better from this hug alone.
But just because she feels better doesn't mean that Ruby will stop at that.
"Weiss, are you okay?"
At first she feels her stiffen at the question, tension winding up her back and thick around her shoulders. She can practically feel her thinking about pulling away from the hug but Ruby doesn't let her. Instead she then starts to rub small soothing circles on her lower back. Her fingertips draw and write until the tension eventually gets overwritten. Until Weiss feels ready enough to answer the question honestly.
In truth, Ruby already knows the answer to that question too.
But she needs Weiss to know that sometimes it's okay that not all answers are good.
"Haven't you asked me that already?" Weiss deflects with a chuckle that doesn't sound quite as happy as it should be. She's stalling, they both know it. They both also know that this won't be enough to deter the determined leader.
"But I still need to hear you answer the question," Ruby implores and even then she isn't demanding from her. She's asking her. She's letting her know that it's safe to fall apart on her.
And Weiss finally lets herself fall apart even if only just a little bit.
"No, Ruby. I am obviously not fine." Her admission comes with a long suffering sigh. Months of pent up frustration on top of years of built up abuse coming down on her in this singular confession.
When she feels her shoulders grow heavy with the weight of it all, Ruby's arms are already there, catching her— and lifting her up.
"It's okay to not be okay, you know."
Ruby holds her tight. She holds her as if she's trying to squeeze out everything wrong that's ever done to Weiss. It's not a solution that will magically fix it all but it is a good hug. A much needed hug. And before Weiss even knows it, she's hugging her back just as desperately if not more. She buries her face, buries her tears, buries her choked up cries on Ruby who quietly accepts all of her.
All broken pieces of her.
"I know," Weiss replies perhaps too quickly for it to be wholehearted. Not even she could believe her own words.
"Do you?" Ruby stresses the question with a gentle squeeze.
Despite the tenderness of the action, Weiss feels an almost painful clench on her heart.
"I'm trying," She replies, just as heartbroken but more honest this time.
When Ruby gives her another tender squeeze, the suffocating coil around her heart loosens.
Weiss is falling apart but Ruby readily embraces her pieces together.
"Then that's more than enough."
Enough. It's funny to hear that word without "never" before it and without the accompanying disdainful voice of her peers, of her so called family, of her own disappointment. All of her life she's been working on being perfect because it's what was expected of her— nothing less. It's only in perfection that she will be "enough".
Just how much had she gone through just to try and amount to that unrealistic measure? Too much.
She never even thought it was attainable or at least it felt like it never will be. She felt like it was something out of a fairytale— unrealistic, out of reach. But her partner tells her otherwise. Her partner tells her she's already there.
She is enough.
She is more than enough.
And Weiss feels this is all too much... but in a good way.
"Ruby," She starts and her voice cracks with raw emotion. She doesn't trust herself to speak evenly at this point but she wants to speak up anyways. She wants her partner to hear her words, hoping to have an effect just as powerful as Ruby's words had been to her. "Thank you... For this."
For everything, the rest of her words go unspoken.
"Aww! You're welcome, Weiss!" Ruby pulls away just so she could flash her an infectious grin. It's super effective as it pulls a lopsided smile from Weiss.
"Dolt." She doesn't even try to hide the fondness behind the insult turned affectionate nickname.
"But I'm your dolt~" Ruby sings all too happily without skipping a beat.
She does however try to hide just how wonderful that sounded to her.
"Whatever." Her smile takes away the air of haughtiness she was going for.
She really has gotten soft, hasn't she? In the back of her mind, she thinks that may not be a bad thing.
"But seriously though, thank you." She does her best to express her gratitude, squeezing back the arms that have been holding her up all this time. It's with the same tenderness and perhaps just a bit of shyness that she confesses, "I do feel better... now that I've finally got that off my chest."
"That's the plan!" Ruby cheers over the success of her possibly spontaneous plan.
"You always do have a plan." Weiss retorts with a chuckle.
And as crazy as those plans sometimes are, one thing for certain is that Weiss will always follow Ruby's plans. It's just a bonus that most of them work out in the end.
They stay close like that for a few beats, so close that they could feel each other's heartbeats, practically counting them with keen focus. Holding onto one another and refusing to let go just yet. Comfortable together and comforting each other. If only they could stay like this forever.
Unsurprisingly, it's Ruby who breaks the silence.
"You know, you do have the choice of not coming back to Atlas with us."
She can't help but snort at the notion. "Yeah, right."
"Weiss." Ruby starts and it startles Weiss at just how much her tone has shifted.
She had laughed it off as a joke but the way Ruby had called her out, told her otherwise. There was something there that Weiss couldn't quite place, something serious. It draws her in until curious blue eyes meet determined silver.
Under Ruby's gaze, Weiss wonders if some related power of silver eyes is to stare right through one's soul. Although some part of her believes that this power has less to do with silver eyes and more to do with Ruby. Ruby and her genuine and caring ways. And right now, she looks at Weiss as if she's all that matters in the world.
"You do have a choice," Ruby reiterates with a tone as unbending as the steel in her eyes. This isn't up for argument. This is a fact. This is what she wants Weiss to never forget. "You always have a choice. Especially with Team RWBY. It's always your choice to make."
All her life someone else has always chosen for her. There's always someone else always choosing "what's best" for her. Never her own decision. Never having a choice.
Except now she does have a choice. Now it's entirely up to her to make the decision.
"Then you should know that I'll choose you anyways."
She doesn't remember her lips moving but she doesn't regret any word that comes out either.
It's true that on this journey to Atlas, she's obligated to follow them by moral responsibility but choosing it makes all the difference.
Choosing her is never a forced upon decision dictated by someone else.
"I'll always choose you."
And when Ruby hugs her tight enough to squeeze out any uncertainty, that's when Weiss knows for sure.
She knows that Ruby would always choose her too.
A/N: Let my ex-heiress daughter vent about her coerced trip back to her homeland of abuse and let my sniper-scythe daughter comfort her. (I'll save the other way around comforting for another chapter, we'll see...)
Listen, I fucking love the fact that the whole Team RWBY called their partners first and only (except for Ruby, who called out for her sister second) and I promise you, I will write about that snippet after the next episode. Weiss called for Ruby and ONLY Ruby twice! TWICE! God, crwby hit me with that good shit!