So This Is It

Just keep moving.

That's what Ruby kept telling herself.

They had to keep moving forward. She had to keep moving forward.

She had to keep the team together. She had to keep herself together.

With her team back, she has to step up as their leader.

So she pushed down. She pushed down everything that everyone else was thinking of. She pushed down the betrayal, the hurt, the hopelessness— she pushed down it all as much as she could and struggled to keep herself standing.

Then push became shove. Then shove became shovel.

And now with heartbreaking desperation, she was burying it all deep down. She had to. Because if she didn't then these things would just keep piling up.

Faster than the heavy snowfall they're in and just as endless, they've been piling up for Ruby.

She couldn't afford to be buried by it all because she was a leader. She had the responsibility not to fall apart when everyone else was barely keeping it together too. Should she fall then others would soon follow.

Fall down like how Beacon did. Fall apart like how Penny did. Fall away like how Pyrrha did.

She didn't want anyone else to fall into the same fate. Not again.

Please not again.

So she does what she has to do. She steps up as their leader.

She keeps them moving forward. She tries to keep herself moving forward.

She keeps the team together. She tries to keep herself together.

All the while she keeps on burying all these feelings deeper, unaware that she's digging herself deeper in the process. It's only a matter of time before the walls cave in and bury her in a grave of her own doing.

But until then Ruby just keeps moving.

This isn't the end just yet.

So this was it then?

This was what everything they've been doing has been amounting to.

Nothing.

They were supposed to be Remnant's last hope or at least they thought they were. In truth, there was no hope to begin with. All this time they've been signed up for a war they couldn't possibly win. They've made sacrifices all throughout, some of their own choices, and many more forced upon them in cruel fate.

For what?

It's true that a large part of Weiss wanted to escape that fortress called her home just so she could return to her true home. But if yearning was all it took then she would have booked it from the start. No, there was a tipping point. And a crucial part of that tipping point was that she thought that something bigger than her family drama was happening. She thought that the world needed saving and that she could help save the world.

Then it turns out that the world as she knew it was only but a remnant of what it once was.

And that behind the great evil they were supposed to defeat was a greater evil that couldn't be destroyed.

All of their efforts seemed so pointless now in hindsight. No matter how much they'd struggle, it wouldn't change a thing. The world would keep on turning until Salem wanted it to. She was no god but she was the closest thing to one. Not only could she summon Grimm, she also had all of the magic of the past. And most importantly, Salem would always be out there.

A being of infinite life and with a desire of pure destruction.

Her shoulders shudder. Whether it was at the frigid thought or at the sheer cold, she was too numb to tell.

Without conscious thought, her hand reaches up to adjust her scarf—

Only to grasp at cold air.

It's only then that Weiss realizes the absence of the comforting warm material. It hasn't even been that long since she'd last worn it but watching someone else's lifetime makes it feel like an eternity without it. The mere thought of a lifetime without red and everything that came with it, wraps around her throat, tightly holding back a sob.

The strangeness of it is that this makes her want to cry more than the despondent worldly revelation.

Everything is so cold and so white back in Atlas, back in the void, back here on this unmarked trail to who knows where.

She'd escape from one frozen hellscape only to fall into another. There was no escaping this whiteness, is there? It's just like this war against Salem. All her efforts would be in vain since apparently this was a one-sided battle and she would never be on the winning side. And her throat tightens further at the thought which only reminds her of the comfortable wrap of her still missing garment.

She just wanted her scarf back. She just wanted a little bit of color in her life. She just wanted to blend some red with the coldness of white. Was that too much to ask? She's starting to believe that white and everything that came with it, is all that she'll ever see for her whole life.

Until red, the color that warms, returns to her.

"Guess what I found." Ruby's voice flutters in as soon as her hands leave the scarf she just wrapped around Weiss' neck. Too soon. Her hands leave too soon as if her touch invites chill when it was actually the opposite.

Still, her concern is warm enough.

"You looked cold."

Then hold me, Weiss almost says.

But she doesn't. She doesn't ask Ruby to. And the only reason that she hesitates upon asking is because Ruby hasn't offered yet. Ruby who has always been so affectionate and physical about it, has barely touched her at all throughout this exchange. It's Ruby who is hesitant. Distant. Weiss could see her partner closing in on herself, burying her hunched shoulders underneath her cloak.

It was worrying.

"Hey, Ruby?"

They both need this. The support. The comfort. Each other.

"Yes, Weiss?"

She takes a tentative step forward.

And it breaks her heart when Ruby steps away on reflex.

Weiss could tell that Ruby too realized the obvious movement but neither comments. They're both too fragile and too hesitant to test waters despite said waters having already been frozen by the existential dread of whatever they saw.

Every fiber of her being is screaming at her to do anything but stand still. She wants to hold her, reassure her like the many time her partner's done the same for her. But there was no use for reassurance in their situation, only acceptance in their own time. Ruby was still processing just like the rest of them. Maybe Ruby wanted her company too but maybe her leader was hesitating on whether or not that's what she needed right now.

At least that would have been a consoling thought for the distance.

So even though Weiss wanted to so badly hold Ruby's hand, instead she settles to grasp her scarf where her partner's touch had lingered before, her warmth already long gone and missed dearly.

They need each other. But they also need space. For now.

"Thanks."

That's all she allows herself to tell her.

When Ruby smiles back, it doesn't quite reach her eyes.

No problem, Ruby almost answers or at least Weiss surmises that's what she would have said if she spoke after she opened her mouth. But she sees in her partner's eyes, the moment that she realized just how untruthful that statement would be. Her mouth hangs agape.

"You're welcome," Ruby says instead.

I'm not okay, is what Weiss heard unspoken.

And truth be told, none of them are.

But Weiss could see how Ruby is still trying. She could see how even though she's been deceived just like the rest of them, she doesn't drop her responsibilities not even for a second. She still puts the needs of others before her. She's still leading. Now with Ozpin gone and with whatever hope they had for a shot at a good future, they were drifting aimlessly.

And Ruby was trying so hard to keep them from at least drifting away.

She's trying so damn hard that it hurts to watch her.

Weiss promised that she would be the best teammate Ruby will ever have and she plans on keeping her word. Sometimes being the best partner means knowing when to give them space.

But just because they're not talking now doesn't mean that they won't talk later. And they will. Weiss will make sure of it. As her partner and best friend, she knows that Ruby will need to talk to someone about this eventually. Even if that means practically dragging her stubborn leader out of her cloak then so be it. But for now she just hopes that her presence would be enough.

When Ruby starts moving forward, Weiss follows closely, watching her back.

Ready to catch her should she fall apart.

A/N: Hello again! In case you missed it, the previous chapter was posted two days late. Again, sorry about that. But that was an accident so rest assured that all of the following chapters will be posted on schedule as always. Thanks again and hope you're enjoying these!

Am I the only one confused over Weiss missing her scarf since the fight scene on the first episode then now she wears it after the flashback? I don't understand? Is this an animation mistake? Or does she purposely remove it during battle (I hope not)? I am so bothered.

So the episode was rather short... The (very tense) calm before the storm. I had to be a bit creative with this chapter since yikes everyone is just too high strung (for understandable reasons). As much as I wanted a bit of processing between Ruby and Weiss about the revelations, it felt like too soon and not enough privacy for it. Hopefully in the next chapter they talk it out. Maybe.