Lost and Found
If there's something that Weiss recognizes painfully more so than most people do, it's anger.
She was practically raised by anger more than her family did. There was her father who used and abused anger on anyone, even on her, especially on her. His anger was as furious as it was endless. Jacques was always mad at something or someone. If it wasn't the SDC then it was the White Fang and if it wasn't either of those then all that's left would be family, right?
And with the head of the family angry, so was everyone else.
Her mother used to be angry. She tries to remember that she had to have been angry because Weiss knows that if it were her, she would have been angry. Willow must have been angry until she stopped being angry. She stopped being anything at all by that point.
Her sister was the quiet kind of angry like how the cold could slowly and silently turn into frostbite. Winter was the one who worked the hardest on showing that she was above all that anger and in a way, she was. Unlike their father who would lash out on others or their mother who would drown herself, Winter's anger manifested in distance. She could give you a cold shoulder or she could kill you with frostbite.
Her brother was angry too. Whitley was raised by their father so of course he was angry before he even knew what it truly meant or how drastic the consequences were. But he was just a kid. He hadn't yet weaponized his anger like their father has but he will. For as long as he follows Jacques' footsteps then Whitley was doomed to fall into anger like him.
Then there's Weiss.
She thought she was angry before, and she was. She was angry at the White Fang for attacking the company that her family has built upon. But even though that anger still burns true now, it hasn't quite intensified like the sheer pent up fury she has for her father. And just like Jacques, Weiss weaponizes her anger. She takes all of her scorn and fights back with it.
It's a cruel joke that she's more similar with her father and of all things, it's through anger.
Growing up with anger so closely knitted to her family has made Weiss all too sharp to see the signs.
That's why she could recognize the signs in Ruby.
Ruby has raised her voice more times in the past few days than Weiss has ever heard of her during the many months with her back at Beacon. And even then, her leader only raised her voice to shout commands over the cacophonous noises of the battle. Ruby just wasn't the type to yell at people.
Until recently that is.
"You dropped this."
Weiss doesn't miss the way her partner almost jumps at the sudden intrusion. It's not like she was being sneaky about it but it seemed that Ruby was too preoccupied with her thoughts to even notice her approach.
"Oh, thanks." Ruby gives what Weiss thinks was supposed to be a smile but with her obvious nervousness, it comes out a grimace at best. "I was wondering where I dropped my phone."
That earned a judgmental glare from Weiss complete with hands placed on her lips.
"If you call chucking it overhead the same as dropping then you should be more careful. We wouldn't want you to 'drop' something else, now would we?"
"Eep!" Ruby yelps and recoils.
She looks like a kid caught with her hand stuck in a cookie jar and Weiss can confirm this because this is exactly what she looked when that specific scenario happened back in Beacon days. Granted of course back then, Ruby looked more like a kid. Now? She looked like an awkward teenager caught with throwing phones.
"You uh... saw that?" She scuffs her boots against the grass, guilty.
"No, not really." Weiss eases back from her intimidating stance now that its effect was no longer necessary. "I wasn't completely sure until you basically confirmed it for me."
"So if you didn't see it and if I didn't say anything then what gave me away?"
She gestures back to the house with a smirk. "As a lovely as this home is, it's not exactly soundproof."
She watches patiently until the gears inside Ruby's head finally fall into place.
"Riiight." She chuckles nervously. It was with that lingering embarrassment that she shyly asked, "Was I that loud?"
"Loud enough," If one was listening attentive enough.
She couldn't admit to her partner that she just so happened to hear her because she was especially vigilant since her outburst at Jaune. She would have followed her outside too if she hadn't heard Maria's voice. She couldn't exactly make out the words but she figured that the retired huntress had this handled. And in case that she hadn't, Weiss would be here and ready.
So she just listlessly waited, her eyes never leaving those glass sliding doors until her partner would return.
"Sorry." Ruby's apology brings back her concerns.
"A little noise is not a big deal. No need to apologize," Weiss reassures her but it does little to dispel the tension in the air.
There's been a lot of that lately. Too much in fact.
"Hey, um, did you..." Ruby starts and then swallows with a loud gulp. Anxious. With trepidation quieting her voice, she murmurs, "Did you hear anything else? Aside from you know, the yell?"
Now that's an interesting question if not a revealing question.
She's hiding something.
Ruby's obviously reluctant to share whatever that is but Weiss knows better than to pry.
"Was I supposed to?" She arches an eyebrow at her.
"No!" Ruby shouts and then clamps her mouth with both hands as if shocked by her own outburst. She probably didn't mean to shout. "I mean, it's not important. Wait, no. It's..." She falters.
Torn. She looks so torn between opening up and simply keeping it close to her chest and the indecision is torturing her.
"It's nothing. Well, not really nothing, just a thing. It was a thing between me and Maria. Not like a secret thing but more like a private thing. I swear I'm not keeping anything that important!"
"It's alright, Ruby." Weiss puts a stop to her ramblings with a gentle hand on her shoulder. She has to consciously mask her worry from showing on her face or else incite more panic from her already rattled partner. "Just because this mess started with Ozpin's secret, doesn't mean that you need to tell us every detail of your private conversations with others."
Even though she would have preferred if she told her about this one specifically seeing how much it had distressed her.
"Unless of course if you're holding back something important. You aren't holding back, right?"
A pregnant pause.
"I'm not."
That split second hesitation says otherwise.
"Good." But Weiss doesn't call her out. Not yet.
She feels Ruby's shoulder heave along with a discreet relieved sigh. Her leader thinks she's out of the clear for now but Weiss has other plans. She's not about to let her go just yet. There's something else that's been bothering her about her partner.
If there's another thing that Weiss recognizes painfully more so than most people do, it's disappointment.
She's seen it more often than not when faced with a mirror.
And she sees the same face on Ruby when her partner thinks no one is looking.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
When Ruby shrugs off Weiss' hand, there's no hesitation—
Only hurt.
The rejection hurt more than Weiss was willing to admit.
"Maybe later."
Ruby dismisses her in her authoritative leader voice.
"We need to find Oscar first and then Uncle Qrow."
It's how she dismisses most of her own problems or so Weiss has noticed. By donning on the role of the leader, she'd look out for the team first. Whether intentional or not, Ruby seems to forget that she was part of the team too and that she had to look out for herself too.
"Okay." Weiss relents for now but her scrutinizing gaze never yields. "Let's go find those two."
Her leader nods and is about to head out when Weiss grabs her by the arm.
"And then we'll talk." She narrows her eyes and meets with steely silver, refusing to be rejected once more. Once was already one too many times.
"Later," Ruby says it more to end the conversation rather than affirm to the demand.
However Weiss doesn't let her have the last words especially if she can't hold her partner to keep them.
"Definitely later."
For as much as Ruby worries for others, Weiss could tell that she doesn't want others to worry for her.
It only makes Weiss worry for her more.
Ruby was worried.
It was hard not to be when everyone's falling apart. Well not exactly everyone. Team RWBY's keeping it together so far but that's only because they've already had time to deal with the new information in as much time as a day had given them.
That felt like one of just the many longest day of their lives.
The same can't be said for Team JNR who didn't get a whole day to process. They're mad and that anger is justified. However, blowing up on innocent people is not. It hasn't even been an hour since the reveal when Jaune exploded at Oscar.
And now Oscar's missing.
If something were to happen to Oscar then that would be Ruby's fault. Sure she got Jaune to back down before any misdirect aggression escalated but she should have checked up on Oscar after rather than give him space. But she didn't, so now they're looking for him in the hopes that wherever he is, he's safe and unharmed.
She didn't want to think about the worst case scenario.
There's still also her missing in action Uncle Qrow.
She always thought she knew. Ever since she could remember, her uncle had never gone without his flask. He has it on him more than he does his own weapon. It was just so normal for him that it was an extension of himself. She thought she had understood that— had accepted his alcoholic tendencies. But with the way he is now, it's become more of an integral part of him rather than just an extension.
He wasn't just consuming alcohol anymore— he was letting it consume himself.
It was unnerving to see him like this. To see him so hopeless and detached. They've already escaped the Apathy Grimm but they didn't need the Grimm to be apathetic, Qrow most of all. It was disheartening to watch him drown himself into oblivion.
It was frustrating.
Ruby doesn't get it but she wants to. She gets that her uncle basically found out that everything he believed in was a lie and that person he devoted his life to is a fraud, and yes, she won't ever understand what that truly feels like. What she doesn't get is why would he give up just like that when there were more important things to do?
They've been hurt before. They've been lied to and betrayed before and it's not a stretch to say that maybe Ozpin won't even be the last. But did they just roll over? No, they shouldered that pain and got up. Whatever life threw at them, knock them over with it, they took the hit and walked it off. They'd always get up because they had to.
They had to get back up again. As long as they could pick up the pieces, they'd get themselves together and then get up again.
They always get up no matter how many times they'd get knocked down on the ground.
"We can cover more ground if we split up."
This was what Blake had suggested an hour into their search. Logically speaking, it made sense. They weren't out here to fight but to look for their missing friend so staying together was counterproductive... unless they were expecting a fight. Ruby hoped that wasn't the case. So in this case, Blake was onto something.
It was a good idea.
"I don't think that's a good idea," Ruby objected anyways with a frown. "I don't want us splitting up."
The last thing she wanted was to potentially search for more missing people.
"We'll just go in pairs to be safe," Blake reasons, already reading their leader's concerns and addressing them.
"But..." Ruby chews the inside of her cheeks, trying hard not to let her fears show. "What if something happens?"
What if something bad happens and I'm not there?
The follow up question goes unspoken but the whole team heard it anyways.
"Then we can just contact each other through our scroll," Weiss reassures her with practical reason.
"Yeah, don't stress yourself too much. We can take care of ourselves." Yang seconds with a confident grin. "That reminds me, we really need to get that kid a scroll."
"Yang and I will take this side of town then you and Weiss can take the other, does that sound okay to you?" Blake asks in a gentle tone and Ruby almost misses the way Yang stiffens at the suggestion for one fleeting moment then acts as if it didn't happen at all.
She'll deal with that later if she has to but for now, finding Oscar was their priority.
"Okay," Ruby finally concedes. She breathes in deep and exhales.
It's a risk. She knows it's a risk to split up especially when there are Salem's people still out to get them but it's a calculated risk, sort of. Is there anything without risk anymore? At least this will be one of those lower risks. Hopefully.
For someone on a hopeless path, Ruby has been hoping a lot more lately.
"Okay just promise me you'll message us as soon as anything happens," She says with sudden steel in her voice.
"Only if you promise to do the same, sis." Yang pulls her in for a brief hug.
It doesn't last long but it is reassuring enough.
"We do." Ruby looks to her partner who nods in agreement. She turns back to the other half of the team and as their leader she commands, "We'll regroup here in another hour. Keep your scrolls ready if you see him or if anything happens."
Everyone gives her their own signs of compliance, a nod from Blake, an thumbs up from Yang, an okay from Weiss, and even Ruby hardens her face into resolution.
"Let's go Team RWBY!"
That was half an hour ago.
The good news was that nobody called yet so nothing bad has happened. The bad news was that nobody called yet so nothing good has happened either.
Ruby really wished her Uncle Qrow was sober or at least would answer his phone. They could use a bird's eye view for the search, literally. But no, not today. He was passing out on his birdlike talents just so he could be human and drunk on who knows where.
So they had to rely on themselves for this just like they had to whenever there was no adult to supervise them.
Fine. It's not the first time it's happened and they made it out just fine.
She hastens her pace without her semblance just in case she'll miss Oscar in her rush. She does however make sure to stomp out that anger with every step rather than let it control her. It's not enough.
Keep calm. She reminds herself that she's out here to look for her friend and not to throw a fit on her absent uncle no matter how much she wants to.
Maybe later.
She looks forward and looks up to see a park that she hasn't checked yet. She tries her odds there and not for the first time tonight, she hopes to see a familiar face in the crowd.
She doesn't find who she's looking for but she doesn't expect what she finds either.
IN HONOR OF PYRRHA NIKOS
It's Pyrrha... except it's not. It's her but in memorial, in stone. After all, the real Pyrrha didn't make it back here. The real Pyrrha was last seen back in Beacon, on top of that tower, with an arrow through her heart. The real Pyrrha was already gone, scattered in the wind like dust all because Ruby didn't—
"I'm sorry. Sorry... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry."
She knew this wasn't the real Pyrrha but she wept for her all the same.
Pyrrha didn't deserve to die like that. Neither did Penny. Nor anyone else. No one else should suffer the same fate not if they could do something about it. That's why Ruby had to fight. That's why she had to get back up again. That's why they had to try.
If not for us, then for the people we've already…
For the people we haven't lost yet.
It scares her. It absolutely terrifies her to think that the more they fight, the more often they put themselves at risk of losing another. She remembers Uncle Qrow suffering through days with venom that almost killed him. She remembers Blake with the Apathy just within an inch of her life. She remembers Weiss bleeding on the floor.
She remembers so much blood.
She remembers taking off Jaune's hands only to see an unsettling large hole in Weiss' dress despite the absence of the wound. But she remembers there being so much blood on the floor for a wound to not have existed. She doesn't know what exactly pierced her partner but she could only imagine.
She remembers the arrow that pierced Pyrrha— the arrow that ended her.
She imagines that same arrow had pierced Weiss.
She had imagined the worst.
When Ruby felt a hand on her shoulder, she knew from touch alone whose hand it was. And that's all it took. She turned and almost painfully, she fell onto her partner and bawled. She cried and Weiss held her in silence, letting her presence speak of the comfort she needed.
She's so grateful that that was a day where reality had been kinder than her imagination.
She didn't know how long she cried but it sure felt like forever. But she did eventually pull away, wiping away the tears and snot and traces of her moment of weakness. From the corner of her eyes, she could see that Weiss wanted to get her to talk and Ruby obliged.
"I didn't know she had a statue here."
It's just not the conversation she knows her partner was going for.
"Me neither," Weiss answers evenly and Ruby sends her a tired smile for dropping what would have been a heavy topic which wasn't a priority right now. Still Weiss continues, "But I can't say it's not unexpected."
"Why would you say that?"
"She graduated the top of her class at Sanctum Academy. She's won the Mistral Regional Tournament four years in a row. Everyone loved her and this is where she trained."
Ruby blinks. It feels almost normal hearing Weiss list off facts like this, almost as if they were back at Beacon when they were still just students without the weight of the world riding on their shoulders.
"How do you know all this stuff?"
She shrugs. "I was a fan of hers, remember?"
"Oh." Ruby doesn't know what else to say other than what's on her mind, "I just thought it was a Weiss thing."
"And what is that supposed to mean?"
The sudden sharpness to her tone really does take her back to Beacon days. Except they're in Argus right now and the sharpness has dulled to an almost affectionate softness or at least Ruby would like to think so.
"You're Weiss." Ruby starts and she would have ended her explanation there if not for the insisting look her partner was sending her. She shrugs and continues, "You're smart. You just know stuff."
"I hope you're not joking." Weiss gives her a scrutinizing gaze.
"I'm not," Ruby answers, lacking any humor. She's too tired for jokes anyways.
That conversation ends abruptly if not on an awkward note. They don't leave just yet. Instead they stay and continue to pay their respects in silence. There's something about memorials that demand silence that Ruby has never quite understood until now.
They just stand there in the presence of the statue— in the absence of their friend.
Surprisingly, it's Weiss who breaks the silence.
"When I finally got into Beacon, I wanted everything to be perfect."
Ruby turns her gaze towards her partner but Weiss keeps hers trained on the statue of their fallen friend.
"Perfect grades, perfect team, perfect..." She pauses, her eye twitches almost imperceptibly if only Ruby wasn't looking. Weiss almost looked at her with the final word, "Partner."
That kind of stung but Ruby knows better that Weiss has more to say and something tells her that this isn't about her anyways.
"When I first saw Pyrrha, I saw her as an... opportunity." Weiss grimaces at her own admission, truly disdainful of her past prejudice. "I realize now how backward thinking that was of me and if I could, I would have handled that with more tact and respect for another human being."
There's a grave shift in her tone that Ruby picks up on with acute awareness.
"That's all Pyrrha was really."
Weiss slowly turns her gaze towards her partner. Haunted.
"No matter how great she was, she was only human."
Now it was Ruby's turn to avert her gaze and stare at stone.
"Pyrrha was the strongest of us all."
She was the strongest and yet—
The enemy was still stronger.
"You're only partially right," Weiss gently corrects her. "It's true that Pyrrha was the strongest among us in terms of individual strength but she wasn't exactly fighting with the best odds when she... when she went up there."
Ruby waited for Weiss to finish what she was trying to say. She waited and waited and waited with all her patience. But Weiss didn't pick up where she left. That didn't sound right to her. It's not like Weiss to start a lecture and not end it with a lesson. Wasn't that the whole point of lectures? Of 'Weiss lectures' especially?
However when Ruby finally lifted her gaze to look at her partner, that's when she realized that Weiss was waiting for her all along.
Without breaking eye contact, Weiss places her hand on her partner's shoulder, gentle to not hurt yet still firm to refuse Ruby of any escape. Whatever Weiss needed to say, she was adamant that it was what Ruby needed to hear.
"Pyrrha was strong but she was her strongest when she was fighting alongside her team."
It's such a Weiss thing to force a lecture on her and it's such a Ruby thing for her to listen and learn.
"Don't worry, Ruby. Team RWBY won't leave your side for a second. I promise."
She couldn't help but chuckle when Weiss threw her words back at her. It's strange because she's laughing and yet her vision has gone all blurry again.
It's honestly a relief that she doesn't have to do this alone.
"And Team JNR?" She asks quietly, almost hesitantly.
"Will join us when they're ready," Weiss answers with the confidence her leader had faltered in.
Ruby asks, still hesitant but now with reignited hope, "You think they'll ever be ready?"
"I don't think any of us will ever be ready," She deadpans.
"Weiiiiss."
"But they'll come around," She offers as consolation. When Ruby still doesn't look convinced, she gives her shoulder a good reassuring squeeze. "I mean, we did. Eventually."
Eventually just so happened to be sooner.
"Together?" Ruby asks once more just to be sure.
"As if there's any other way."
The sheer faith in Weiss' answer has Ruby almost choking up. So she continues in her stead.
"You're the leader, aren't you? You're going to need your team to lead."
Her hand travels higher until it wipes off the warm tears still falling from Ruby's eyes. When Weiss smiles, it's tender and trusting and Ruby feels more tears fall with warmth that spreads through her. It feels warm like hope.
"We're ready when you are."
It's been a long day but Ruby finally finds her smile. It's a mixture of relief and lingering pain but it is genuine. It's a comeback.
"I'm combat ready!"
They'll do this. They can do this.
For themselves. For Pyrrha and for Penny. For everyone who was lost in this senseless war. For everyone who they still haven't lost.
This is their fight and they'll face this together.
A/N: Happy new year everyone! 20gayteen may be over but the gays are here to stay forever!
How was your holidays? Have you read 'You Need A New Family' the merry fic we deserve? Well it's my holiday gift to y'all so go give it a read! :D
This chapter's a bit different. For starters it's 4k words again. Wow. Half of it was written before the episode even aired as a precaution in case I got too busy for the holidays which did happen but I was also so stressed that I wrote the other half instead of sleeping. I needed this comfort okay.
Really enjoyed the episode's exposition! Every scene was so well written! But also! So that Pyrrha memorial huh :')
Ruby is MAD and I am LIVING. This girl has to bench press two teams, mentor a farm boy child, restrain a sassy old grandma from raising the ratings any higher AND tell off her deadbeat uncle who never learned anything from drinking during the whole Apathy fiasco.
We've always seen her happy and heartbroken sides but now we get to see her angry and frustrated sides and I really am loving them! She stood up for her teammate and for the whole merged team and truly took charge as the leader! I'm so proud of her! Keep on growing stronger, Ruby!