VI

***A Secret Shared***

The first thing Belle noticed when she returned to the library was the prince's absence. She was rather glad he'd left after concluding his business with Rumpelstiltskin. An anxious knot of trepidation had been coiled in her belly for the better part of a week. As much as she enjoyed her time with her master, she couldn't quell her fear that the truth would ultimately destroy them. How much longer would she be able to put off his desire to kiss her? She wanted it, too … probably moreso since she'd been in touch with her feelings for him far longer than he had. She was sure of it. Perhaps. Hellfire! She really didn't know, though she suspected he'd come to realize he truly cared the day he'd given her the rose and sent her to town for straw.

That was the day she'd met Regina and realized she was in love with her master. Months ago. Months of longing and hopeful imaginings. She was tired of relying on her fantasies. She wanted him in every way imaginable, and finally when it was possible to find happiness with him, there was a huge honking secret between them. Oh, how she wanted to give in and kiss him senseless. She'd have to tell him before something happened which they'd both regret, and if she knew her master … his temper would be absolutely glorious.

Belle sighed and set the tray down. She'd made them a nice luncheon consisting of tea, pieces of cold roasted lamb, a loaf of the bread she'd baked that morning and three different types of cheese. "Rumpel?" she called, wondering if he'd disappeared among the stacks in search of something for her to read while he worked on her gown. It was entirely too quiet. "Rum?"

The sorcerer didn't keep her waiting for long, his magic swirling about him as he apparated onto the settee next to her. "Sorry, dearie," he apologized. "I needed to go up to the tower for a moment."

She busied herself pouring tea into his chipped cup. "I see your guest departed. Was your business successful?" she asked, frowning at the scroll he held out to her. "What's this?" It really wasn't like him to want to share his deals with her.

Rumpelstiltskin shrugged casually, though he was a bundle of raw nerves. "Regina sent Charming with a list of ingredients I'll need for the spell. Well, part of a list," he said, scowling darkly. "The wench is toying with me."

Belle perused the list. "Do you have all this in your stores?"

"No. That's why she sent it ahead of time. These are ingredients I will have to procure." He leaned back against the cushions, and rubbed his weary eyes before taking a tentative sip of his tea. "She knows I'll not want to waste a moment when I have the complete spell."

"How does she know you don't have these?"

He accepted the fine china plate with his lunch and nibbled a piece of cheese. "She was my apprentice, Belle. She spent quite a bit of time up there with me, and it's not surprising she remembers what I keep on hand."

Belle tore her bread into tiny pieces, her gaze focused on her plate. "I don't trust that woman, Rumpel," she murmured. She set her plate aside, her food barely touched as her stomach churned with nerves.

"Even though it seems she's changed for the better?" he asked, setting his own plate aside, and tipping her chin up with a carefully placed finger.

"Can someone like her really change?"

"You believed I could change, Belle," he whispered softly.

"You have changed, Rumpel. Very much so since I've come to live with you. I know firsthand what Queen Regina is capable of." She tugged his hand away from her face, twining her fingers with his and holding them in her lap. Yet, she averted her gaze, not wanting him to see or discern the myriad emotions evident there.

His own eyes narrowed sharply. It wasn't often his Belle wouldn't meet him head-on. Not his brave little princess. "Why do I feel this has nothing to do with Charming's visit and everything to do with what we were discussing earlier? Belle," he said firmly when she still wouldn't look up at him.

"Because it does."

"What do you mean, dearie?" he asked, his heart beginning to pound. Already he could feel the darkness growing with his suspicions.

"I don't want to tell you. Things tend to explode when you're upset."

"I'm not upset!" he snapped impatiently.

"You're getting there," she insisted.

"But I'm not upset with you," he said, trying to calm himself before he ruined her library. He slumped against the back of the settee and clasped his hands together on his lap. "See, I'm not upset."

Belle winced as his eyes flashed hotly in her direction. "Do you remember when you sent me away, thinking I wouldn't return? The day you freed me from our deal?"

How could he forget the desolation he'd experienced as he'd watched her walk through the gates, the outright despair at the thought of never seeing her again? He gave her a curt nod, his lips compressed into a thin line. He didn't trust himself to speak, afraid his voice would betray him.

"I had a lot of time to think as I walked. If I'd had any sense that day, I would have hidden in the forest when her carriage approached."

"W-What – " He cleared his throat. "What happened? What did she do to you? A spell? Is that why you came back?" he roared, bounding to his feet as his face twisted with rage.

She shook her head, her bottom lip disappearing between her pearly teeth. "No! Rum, please." He paced, refusing to look at her. "She presented herself as a kindly noblewoman. Who was I to suspect any differently? She offered to walk with me for a while, even when I didn't welcome her company. I was distraught, torn between wanting to go home to papa and returning to you."

"And I'm sure she took advantage of your distress!" he hissed furiously.

"She saw right through me, Rumpel. She knew, somehow, that I didn't want to leave you, that I cared about you. She told me of true love's kiss and how it would break any curse."

Rumpelstiltskin stopped pacing, his body trembling with the effort to keep the Dark One reined in. As furious as he was, he didn't want to risk letting the demon hurt her. He very nearly lost control when she rose to stand before him, her small hands coming to rest on his chest. He couldn't bear her touch just then, and he recoiled, stumbling away from her.

"You came back to break my curse?! You never cared for me. Gods, I'm such a fool," he hissed. "All this time, you've been playing me for a fool in the hopes I'd what … fall in love with you?"

"No!" she cried, tears streaming over her ashen cheeks. She shook her head vehemently, a sob wrenching from her throat as he pushed her away when she reached for him. "No. I would never betray you, Rumpel. Haven't I more than proven that to you?"

He stared down at her coldly, his eyes nearly black, unable to speak through his blind fury. It was a wonder he didn't curse her into oblivion.

"Don't you see, Rumpelstiltskin? I wasn't rejecting you." His eyes closed as she bravely reached up and laid her hand alongside his weathered cheek. Even now he sought her touch, craved it. "I couldn't take something from you which you weren't willing to give. It had to be your choice."

The Dark One pulled away from her and stormed towards the door, not even having the presence of mind to use his magic to flee his traitorous love. And yes, he did love her – even now – which made it that much more painful to bear.

Belle ran after him, her stride not enough to keep up with him. "Rumpel, where are you going? Rumpel, wait!" But he was gone. Still, "Please …"

A/N: I hope y'all are still enjoying the story. You know I can't write without a little angst. At least this time he didn't throw her into the dungeon. Next time, Rum goes to confront Regina.