Alright guys I want to start out by saying that I'm sorry. I know that updates aren't coming as quickly as you would like them to, and I do apologize for that. With that being said though please understand that I have a busy life, and can't always find time to write. In fact there are very few opportunities for me to write anymore. I wish that I could just sit down with my laptop and get lost like I used to be able to do, but that's just not possible for me anymore. Not only do I have one full time job, but I'm a mom as well, which means on the days off that I do get, my daughter demands 100% of my attention, and she will take priority over everything else always. So between my job, my daughter, my housework, the daily errands that I have to run, and trying to find time for just my husband and I, it's hard to find time to write in between all of that. So please bear with me, and believe that I update as soon as I get the opportunity to do so. I don't enjoy disappointing you guys, and I wish that I could update on a more regular basis.
Thank you all though who have stuck with me through this journey, it's been so much fun for me, and I hope you all have enjoyed it as much as I have. The end is in sight, and the story will be wrapping up soon, but you all have made it so worthwhile for me, and if I don't say it again I'm going to make sure to say it now. Thank you so much for following me, and continuing to read what I have written. It means more to me than you will ever know. I know that it's just a fan fiction site, but it's given me hope that if this many of you can enjoy a spin off story, then maybe, just maybe I have a chance of following my dream and become an author, or publisher myself. You all rock!
Disclaimer: All original storyline and characters are property of E.L. James. No copyright infringement intended.
When I get back to my dorm Kyanne is still awake, pretending to study, but I know she's just waiting to hear about my date.
"Not going to lie, I was secretly hoping I would get a text from you saying that you wouldn't be coming home tonight." She said laughing.
"Well he asked me to stay with him tonight, but I didn't think it would be a good idea" I told her. It had been tempting when he asked me, but I wasn't sure that's what I wanted just yet, so I told him no. Part of me was regretting that decision now.
"Spill." Ky demands when I don't offer any information on my own. So I tell her everything that happened on my date.
"He sounds like a keeper for sure." She tells me when I'm through with my story.
"Well that's certainly a 180 from the shade you were throwing his way when he picked me up. What was up with that by the way?" I ask.
"He needed to understand that just because your dad isn't here to protect you if he hurts you, he'll still have to deal with me."
I laugh and say, "Thanks for looking out for me."
"Anytime. So you guys are like officially a couple again?"
"I guess." I say, and the hesitation in my voice is obvious.
"What was that?" Ky asks, immediately picking up on it.
"I'm scared Ky. I don't want to get hurt again."
"Do you love him?" She asks simply.
"Yes." I answer.
"Then you need to get over it hun. I know that it's going to be hard, but if you want it to work this time then you need to put the past behind you. Relationships are based on trust. If you don't trust that he will keep his word to you and fight for you, then you might as well just call it off right now.
"I know I'm not an expert on relationships, but I do know one thing for sure, if you continue to allow past mistakes to affect your current relationship it's going to ruin it faster than anything else.
"If you're serious about wanting to be with this guy, you need to trust that he's going to do what he says. I'm not saying let your guard down completely, but don't let what he's done block out all the effort he's making currently to right those wrongs."
I don't know what to say to that. Of course I know she's right, but I have never heard such enlightened words come out of her mouth. She's not stupid by any means, but she isn't usually this deep either.
"I'll let you think about that Phebs, but from what you've told me, this guy is crazy about you, and I think you need to give him a chance to prove that to you without bringing up his past mistakes."
While Kyanne puts her headphones back in, and goes back to her homework, I think about what she has said. She's right and I know it. The only way my relationship with Cavin will be successful this time is if I'm willing to give Cavin a chance, without allowing our past to hurt me.
I sigh and drag out my own pile of homework that I neglected during my date, and thank god that it's Friday, and I don't have to pull an all nighter in order to finish it all. I get a jump on it though because Cavin and I have made plans for lunch tomorrow, and I have a feeling the majority of my weekend is going to be spent with him.
To my surprise my mind is going too fast for me to be able to even think about sleep, so I get my homework complete that night. Then because I have nothing else to do I decide to call Cavin. The truth is I miss him, and part of me regrets not staying with him.
"Hello?" He answers on the first ring, and his voice doesn't sound as though I had just woke him up.
"Hey." I answer back shyly. It's weird to feel shy around him after all we've been through but I do.
"Hi baby." He says enthusiastically. "I was just thinking about you."
"Oh really what were you thinking?"
"Honestly that I'm so glad that you took me back, and also a part of me really wishes you would have stayed with me tonight."
"To be honest I was kinda wishing I would have stayed also. That's why I called because I miss you." After our date tonight I was scared that our relationship wasn't going to be the same as it always had been, but talking to him now I can see that's not the case at all.
"I miss you too. I can't wait to see you tomorrow. I don't know if I can wait until lunchtime." He says, and his voice holds a hint of desperation.
"Well I finished all my homework, so I guess if you wanted we could always do breakfast and then hang out for the day tomorrow."
"That sounds perfect." He said, and the smile in his voice was evident.
"Then it's settled. Pick me up around 9? Or do you just want to meet up somewhere?"
"I'll pick you up." He said.
"Alright. Goodnight."
"Goodnight baby I love you."
"I love you too." I respond with a smile, and with our plans of a day spent together tomorrow I drift off to sleep, making sure to set my alarm so I don't oversleep tomorrow.
"Phoebe I swear if you don't get up and turn off that damned alarm I'm going to smother you with your pillow." Kyanne's annoyed voice is slightly muffled by the pillow that is covering her head.
"Fine!" I say with a groan, and reach over to shut my phone off. For a second I wonder why I set my alarm for so early on a Saturday morning, and then the night before comes rushing back to me, and I remember that Cavin will be here to pick me up soon.
With a surge of energy I hop out of bed, and run to the bathroom where I take a quick shower and fix both my hair and make-up. When I get back to the room Kyanne is awake and glaring at me.
"Why the hell are you awake so damn early! It's unnatural! Saturdays are meant for sleeping in and vegging out in front of the T.V. watching trashy reality shows. What do you have planned?"
"Cavin and I are hanging out today. We're going to get breakfast together, and then we'll see what happens after that."
"Ooh la la! Is someone going to get laid…finally?" She says waggling her eyebrows at me suggestively.
"Shut up! I haven't been in that bad of a mood lately!" I say laughing, but purposely ignore her question.
"Well no that's true you haven't! But you are a completely different person with Cavin in your life, so I'm guessing you're even more pleasant when you two are having sex."
I just roll my eyes at her, but I can't suppress the smile on my face. The truth is, it had been way too long since I last had sex. Since Cavin and I broke up. So even though a part of me was still a little hesitant to get that close to him so soon, a bigger part of me really hoped that our day would involve a little bit of intimacy.
"Well just so you know, and yes I am trying to make you feel bad, while you are out to breakfast with your super-hot boyfriend, I'm going to be here…eating stale lucky charms…alone…probably out of a dirty bowl."
"I can't be blamed if you're too lazy to wash a bowl, or drive yourself to get breakfast. But if you stop complaining I might bring you home lunch or dinner when I get back…if I get back." I tell her, throwing her a smile over my shoulder as I change.
"Fine!" She says with a heavy sigh, and then asks, "So do you think you'll be getting some today?"
"I don't know Ky. I don't even know if I'm ready for that yet." I tell her. And even though I'm hoping for it I know that I'm also telling her the truth.
"Just keep in mind what I told you last night." She tells me, as my phone starts to ring. Cavin's name is displayed on my screen, and the butterflies I didn't realize had taken up residence in my stomach go wild.
"Hello?" I answer with a smile.
"Good morning beautiful." His silky voice says on the other end of the line. "Are you almost ready? I don't think I can even wait until nine to see you."
"Head on over." I say laughing, but truthfully I'm glad, because I don't want to wait to see him either.
"Alright I will be there soon."
He wasn't kidding when he said it either. Ten minutes later he was knocking on my door.
"Have fun! Do everything I would do!" Kyanne calls out as I head out the door, effectively causing me to blush.
As soon as I get into the hallway Cavin pushes me up against the wall, capturing my lips with his. I don't move to stop him because honestly it's too hot for me to want to stop it. I can feel his erection pressing against my stomach, and it causes a slow burn to begin in the pit of my stomach.
"God I missed you!" He whispers against my lips when he finally pulls away. I'm too breathless to speak, but I smile back at him. "Let's go before I decide to just head back to your room and kick your roommate out." And even though that sounds like an excellent idea to me, I follow him down to his car.
"So where do you want to go?" He asks as he pulls out of the dorm parking lot.
"Back to your place." I answer immediately, and just like that my fear of moving too fast evaporates. Kyanne was right last night, if I want our relationship to work this time I'm going to have to let go of the past.
I see Cavin's eyes dilate, and the bulge in his pants becomes even more apparent. It's clear that this is what we both want, and the short car ride to his apartment is full of sexual tension.
"Are you sure about this?" He asks before we exit his car, just like he did the first night we were together.
"I have been dreaming about this moment since we broke up. After that scene in the hallway I don't think I can hold out anymore. Yes I'm sure about this I say." And unbuckle my seatbelt, and step out of the car.
I hear him chuckle at my eagerness, as he too climbs out of his seat, and leads me up to his building.
As soon as we step into the entryway I close and lock the door behind me, and push him up against it, sealing my lips over his. With all the passion I can muster-which is quite a bit considering my current state-I move my lips against him.
He groans into my mouth, lifts me up so that I can wrap my legs around his waist, and pushes me up against the opposite wall, and grinds himself into me. I gasp at the friction it causes wanting more.
Without taking my lips from his I push his jacket to the floor, allowing my hands to roam down his broad shoulders over his back. I can feel his muscles contract, as his fingers trace my legs causing goose bumps to appear all over my body.
"I need you." Cavin whispers softly.
"Take me." I tell him.
He gently sets me down on my feet, and steadies me when I almost fall, and then gestures for me to follow him.
I smile when we enter his bedroom, and I see his familiar bedspread. I never thought I would see it again, and I can't wait to get in.
Cavin sits on the edge of the bed, but stops me when I go to follow. "Strip for me." He says, his voice husky and rough, but demanding at the same time.
I smile, and slowly begin peeling my clothes off, making a show out of it for him. I can tell by the way he's breathing that my striptease is having the desired effect.
When I finally remove my last item of clothing I saunter over to him and straddle his lap. He doesn't move to touch me, so I grab his hand, and guide it to my mouth, making sure to maintain eye contact with him.
I slowly take his index finger into my mouth and suck hard, making sure it pops out of my mouth. Then I guide it down my chin, over my neck, in between the valley of my breasts, over my stomach, and finally over my sensitive nub at the apex of my thighs.
"Touch me." I say, now the one in charge. Immediately he dips his fingers into me, feeling exactly how much he has turned me on. "Do you see how wet you make me." I say, grinding into his hand.
"Oh god baby. You are always so wet. It's so fucking hot." He whispers, and abruptly pushes me off of him, and stands. "Undress me." It seems we're taking turns being in charge. I do as he says, stripping him, as slowly as I stripped myself.
When I finally push his briefs down I grab hold of his impressive erection and pump it a few times. I'm rewarded by his eyes rolling back into his head slightly.
"Sit." I say, pushing him back down on the bed, and without warning I drop to my knees in front of him, and take him into my mouth until I feel him at the back of my throat.
"FUCK!" He exclaims loudly, as I continue to pump him in and out of my mouth.
"Baby you have to stop or I'm not going to last long at all."
"Come in my mouth." I say quickly, and place my mouth back over him, doubling my efforts. I can tell he's close, and so I begin swirling my tongue around his tip, hitting his sensitive spot. That's all it takes, and he explodes in my mouth. I don't allow any of it to escape, making sure to swallow it all.
I smile up at him from between his legs, and he's looking back at me with complete contentment and love.
"Come here beautiful." He says softly pulling me up on top of him. "That was amazing." He says before kissing me passionately. "I wish I could return the favor, but I can't wait to be inside you." He says, when he finally pulls away, and without warning flips me onto my back.
He hovers over me just long enough to position himself and my entrance, and then he thrusts into me. I gasp at the shock of it, and am thankful that he pauses for long enough to allow me to adjust. It has been so long since I had sex, that I'm not used to that kind of intrusion.
When he knows that I'm ready he begins to move inside me hard and fast, exactly how he knows I like it.
"Oh Cavin, fuck that feels so good."
"I've missed this." He says in between thrusts. "You're mine. Always."
"Yes." I gasp out as he hits a sweet spot.
"Does that feel good baby? Do you like it right there?"
"Yes Cavin, please don't stop."
"Not until you've soaked me baby. I want you're juices all over me."
I can't speak because it feels so good, so I just moan as he pumps himself in and out of me.
"Fuck baby you're so goddamned tight. You're pussy feels so good." I love it when he talks dirty to me, and he knows it. "Oh fuck Phoebe I need you to cum for me soon because I'm about to explode. Come on baby, I know this feels good for you. I want you to cum all over my cock. Are you gonna do it for me baby?" And just then I explode into one of the most mind blowing orgasms I've ever experienced.
A few seconds later I feel him release onto my stomach, his cum mixing with my own. We're both wet, and sweaty, but neither of us care as we drift off to sleep. Completely satisfied, and happy to finally be back in each other's arms.