Kov watched T'Khut. He neither spoke, nor looked away. Seven times, Koss stirred and made some sound as though he would speak, but Kov did not shift his focus, and the other said nothing. Perhaps there was a certain cruelty in his inattention, but, if there was, there also was in Koss bringing him here and introducing him to the intimate touch, and Awakening, only to leave him still longing for that which he didn't fully understand.

If such cruelty was to be the measure of what they shared, Kov would leave this place, alone, at the earliest safe moment, and return to Sivet's home. He would not take the book Koss had so wanted him to read, though he had been certain he would only hours ago.

He had more evidence that Koss was not to be trusted than reason to trust the other. If research on this touching existed within the pages of these books, it was logical to assume that it also existed in other places, and that he would be able to find it. He would do as he had told Koss. He would walk the space of this new reality, examine the way its light fell, its winds blew, its terrain, and how it could be altered. He would explore his purpose in pursuing such a connection. He would come to comprehension of this sharing, and the place it might hold in his life, if Koss would allow it.

He had said that he would – that they might share "what we will share." Perhaps, in that, there was some hope that he could be swayed.

But that was not a matter to be tended to now. Soon, within the hour, it would be safe to return to the city. He must do so and speak to T'Sia.

Koss had requested he speak no more on his bonding, so Kov would not inform him that he had decided that he could not marry T'Sia.

Whether Koss desired a future with him, or whether he would allow himself to act on such a desire, was irrelevant, in this. Since they were little more than infants themselves, T'Sia had spoken of her desire for children of her own, to raise and to care for. There was no desire she held so highly.

She was his closest associate, and their Promising had been arranged before their births. He could not desire her as he desired Koss, and he would not require her to honor the agreement their parents had made when the cost was – what was the word that Koss had used? The Terran word – happiness.

He would not ask T'Sia to surrender her happiness to honor the commitment to him. They both would fare better if allowed to choose according to their needs. Let her choose another, one who could give to her what she needed, who could hold her in highest affection, as Sivet had held T'Dana.

Anything less was less than a marriage, in his opinion, and far less than T'Sia deserved.

The first edge of T'Khut was hidden by the window opening. Soon, it would be time to leave this place. If Koss did not speak, he would do so silently, Kov decided. He would not reference this meeting again, if Koss did not. If the other chose privacy, or didn't want him to feel what he felt, there was little point in making any such mention.

However, silence would change nothing for Kov. For what he had learned this night, he was grateful. He now knew why the arousal scent of a woman was nauseating; he was not ill. His physiology simply matched his nature and cleaved to the scent of an aroused male.

Kaiidth. What is, is. What is is what is meant to be.

Hiding from it as Koss seemed to be doing would serve no beneficial purpose that Kov could perceive. It was foolish to struggle so against one's nature. That was the reason for the challenge; it allowed for the changes growing brought, and the things that could not be known when the Promised were children. It was a space in which decisions could be made regarding the future, and fitness for purpose.

He could never be fit for T'Sia's purposes, or she for his, in this manner. Better that they remain close associates and end the Promising in the challenge.

T'Khut was halfway past his line of sight when Koss finally spoke. "Tell me what you are thinking, Kov – and what you are feeling."

Kov didn't look away from the window. "I will not. I have already claimed my right to privacy in it. I have not rescinded or relinquished that right. My thoughts and my emotions are not your concern." He said it gently, but with firmness.

"Tell me what I must do to hear them." Koss, apparently, did not accept denial of his wishes easily.

"There is nothing." Before Koss broke away, there was nothing Kov would have denied him, even to mating, though he never had, and was uncertain how to proceed with a male partner. Lack of knowledge did not equate to lack of desire, and he had desired it.

He still did.

But mating without true sharing was not something he cared to experience. Now that he had felt their music, he would not choose to share that which didn't contain it.

Koss was silent again, as T'Khut continued her orbit and moved further out of his visual range. Kov said nothing more; there seemed nothing to be said.

"Our sharing…"

"Was deeply pleasurable, Koss. I am grateful. I have learned a valuable fact about myself."

"Would you have nothing more of me?" There was something in that tone which made it impossible not to look at the other. Kov had felt something similar the one time Sivet had lost control of his anger.

The other man was intent, tense, shaking still, though Kov's trembling had ceased.

"It was you who ended the sharing, Koss. It was you who said that, knowing I desire you as you do me, you wish for it not to be so." He was calm; he wondered why, when it seemed he should not be.

"But it is so. Wishing cannot undo it."

"Wishing cannot. However, even emotions can be finite. Nor must I act on what I desire. Perhaps I will desire still, but you will have the shape of your wish, for I will speak no further on it with you, and I will do nothing to act upon it. You may proceed with your life as though it were not true, that nothing but time passed between the moment we arrived, and that in which I leave."

He didn't wait for a reply, only turned back to watch as the last of T'Khut disappeared. Then he rose, and stretched, his back to Koss but very aware that the other watched. "I take my leave of you now, Koss." He did not look back.

"Kov –" but the sound of Koss' plea or protest was erased by the chamber's door as it slipped closed behind him.