With the holidays coming up, updating will be sporadic, which explains why I posted chapter 2 about 8 hours ago, and am now posting ANOTHER chapter! So just make sure you've already read chapter 2 before reading this one. Thanks to those who are reading and reviewing. Makes this fic writer's heart happy. (Went back and fixed some of the formatting so there are proper breaks within the chapter.)
x...x
Though the fearful edge of not knowing was smoothed away by their short conversation the night before, Gibbs showed up again, even if she didn't remember his promise. In fact, with the gauzy haze of painkillers being stripped away, reality's tendrils started to pull memories into focus, and despite Kate rousing once in the middle of the night to call the nurse, she didn't acknowledge his presence. If he had any doubts she was beginning to put the pieces together, his appearance in her doorway that afternoon did little to banish them.
"Where's Tony?" she asked, awkwardly putting her things together.
A nurse must've helped her get dressed, because Gibbs couldn't imagine she got all those buttons up herself. Her left arm rested in a tight cuff that looped up around her neck, and he knew from experience it would be the only way to keep the shoulder set while it healed. He also knew it was painful as hell. To no one's surprise, she kept her reactions to the pain to herself. Gibbs touched the wheelchair.
"I got him followin' up on somethin'."
She pressed her lips together. "Of course you do."
Slinging the bag over his shoulder, he double-tapped the chair. "C'mon, let's go."
For a second, he wondered if she would protest, but he only saw defeat in her eyes. It hurt his heart, but he, too, was good at hiding the pain.
"Fine."
They picked up her prescription and he helped her into his truck as carefully as possible. A compromise with the seat belt ended up with the chest strap looped under her good arm. He had to lift her left arm just enough to click the buckle into place, and had his ear not been so close to her mouth, he might have missed the sharp intake of breath.
"I know," he whispered, catching himself before the 'sweetheart' escaped his lips.
He closed the door with just enough force for it to catch but not jar her too much, and he did the same when he came around to his side. He pulled out of the parking spot and they were on their silent way. He tried to find the smoothest route to her apartment, though DC traffic made it almost impossible. Glancing over every once in a while to see how she was doing, Gibbs found himself struggling to find something to say, something to bring a light to her eyes, to bring a lift to her lips. He was used to being the functional mute, but wasn't prepared when the tables were turned, especially when Kate was on the other side of it. He was just about to reach for the radio, reach for anything to bring some goddamn sound into the space when she spoke.
"Huh," she said. He encouraged her to continue with his raised eyebrow. "I just realized if I had quit a day earlier, my insurance wouldn't have covered the accident. Got lucky there."
He winced at the words. 'Quit'. 'Accident'. 'Lucky'.
The bile that crept up his throat was pushed down with a gruff, "I wouldn't have accepted your resignation."
She turned her head away from the endless scenery to give him a long look that he pretended he didn't notice.
"Of course you wouldn't," she blew out.
The flat sarcasm hit its mark. Gripping the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles were white, he wondered why he just couldn't say it. Say he was stupid. Say he'd do anything to take it back. Say he was sorry.
"I'm…"
She waited for him to finish, pinning him under her gaze. When nothing further came, she shook her head in a mixture of disappointment and amazement.
"You just can't say it, can you? Rule 6. You can't say it because it's a sign of weakness."
Eyes straight ahead and his voice low, he replied, "I can't say it because it's… inadequate."
Out of all the possible replies, she must not have considered this one, because the word seemed to act like a pin that slowly deflated all of her anger.
"Oh," was all she said, without sarcasm or accusation.
Resting his elbow on the window ledge, he rubbed his chin with a forefinger. "Listen. We need to talk about what happened in the office. We will. I want to. But what I really wanna do right now is just get you home. Get you comfortable. That's not gonna be an easy heal." His eyes flicked to her injured shoulder. "Trust me."
Her small smile lit up the truck. "If I promise to be a good patient, will you tell me how you know?"
Unable to not return the smile, he said, "Sure," then realized she had drawn him out without even trying.
x...x
She could walk on her own two feet, though the trip from the truck to her apartment was a labouring one. Gibbs offered his arm around her waist which she gratefully took after 7 steps. It hurt to move forward. It hurt to stop. It hurt to breathe. When the elevator jerked to a stop on her floor, she thought she'd scream. He didn't say a word, didn't ask her how she was doing, and for once, she was grateful for his aversion to stating the obvious. She wasn't sure what happened in the truck, but something in him had shifted in a way that felt like a warm blanket on a cold day, and between the drugs and his newfound tenderness, she knew any query into her well-being would reduce her to a puddle of suck, and she didn't have the energy to figure out what that was all about. To her dismay, he gently but firmly guided her away from her immediate destination. He had the temerity to chuckle at her low whine, but he soothed her with his explanation.
"You need to be sitting up with proper pillows and blankets, not some half-assed bed on a couch."
"Yes, sir," she said.
"Good to see the drugs are working."
"Mmmmm."
If she ever had any embarrassment at having her boss- Gibbs- in her bedroom, his single mindedness to get her into bed- in the most innocuous of ways- banished any wayward awkwardness. He gave nothing a second look except the bed and its function.
"Do you, uh, need to use the head?"
"Stand down, Gunney," she smirked. "No, I don't need to use the bathroom."
"Good."
Lightly touching her good shoulder, he made her sit down. He knelt as she sat, and the drugs were really kicking in, because she was sure he was taking off her shoes like some kind of Prince Charming in reverse. He pressed his thumbs into the arch of her feet and when she groaned, his eyebrows seemed to silently take in the reaction for future study. She had no qualms about taking the vocal approach.
"Any time you want to do that, just let me know," she sighed, eyes closed, and was rewarded with a chuckle and another squeeze.
He stood, needlessly dragging his fingertips up her calves, and she missed the spark when he began reaching for her pillows.
"Are these all you have?" he asked.
She filed away his touch for colder nights. "It's 4 pillows, Gibbs."
He frowned. "Don't women have…" he waved his hands around.
Laughing, she said, "Look who's sneaking a peek at the home decorating magazines at the checkout. I have 2 more in the closet. I hope 6 meets with your approval." She made a motion to shrug and immediately regretted it.
Wagging a finger at her, he said, "That's what you get for sassin' me."
The 2 joined the 4 and all 6 were manhandled into a position that satisfied Gibbs. His touch returned to her calves though in a less heated way than the first time. With care, he lifted her legs onto the bed, allowing her time to shift herself back into the pillows with her good arm. She let him fuss over her position until he was marginally happy, if only because she had seen that look of determination in his eyes before and there was no sense getting in the way. Besides, there was something comforting about being the object of that determination.
"You okay?" he asked, his eyes skimming over the finished product, daring it to show a flaw.
She grinned his little half grin. "I'm fine, Gibbs. Really?"
"Mmmm." He stood back with his arms crossed. "Hungry?"
Her stomach growled at the word. "Apparently I am."
"Okay. I'll see what I can dig up."
"Good luck," she called out to his back.
x...x
Boy, she wasn't kidding, he thought when he took stock of the supplies. Granted, she had just spent the last few days in the hospital, but still. He'd have to go out and get some things. Maybe clean out that crisper. He nearly hit his head pulling it out of the fridge. "Clean the crisper," he said out loud. "Jesus. Get a grip."
He found a pot and a pan and improvised as best he could. While he waited for the soup to heat, he rewarded himself with a walk around Kate's living room. There wasn't much to see; one living room always seemed the same as the last, but it was the bookshelves that held the secrets of the owners. Suspects, victims, friends, family all had bookshelves, and he was pulled to hers.
Professional interest, he told himself. He had never been in her apartment before today and it was his duty as her boss to- To what? To find out she has an inexplicable interest in Colin Firth and a surprising amount of horror movies? He brushed away the accusing voice and continued his perusal.
Professional perusal.
There was a surprising lack of photos from her days in the Secret Service. He was certain there'd be at least one obligatory photo of her and the President, but there were only 3 pictures on display. One was a Christmas photo from her first year at NCIS. Someone from another team must've taken it, because it was all of them- Ducky, Abby, Gerald, McGee, Tony, Kate and him. He hated his picture taken and this one was no exception. His smile looked forced, though maybe not entirely, considering how close he was standing to Kate.
The second was a group photo of 4 kids of various ages, 2 boys and 2 girls, the youngest of which was holding up a frog towards the other girl. The expressions on their faces told the story- the 2 boys obviously put the young girl up to the task, though based on her toothless grin, it didn't take much. The older girl wasn't nearly as impressed as the other three. It was a moment not posed but caught in time, and Gibbs couldn't help but smile along with the three kids. He almost gave himself a headslap when it came to him- these were the Todd kids, and that one in the middle, with the mischievous smile and outstretched frog was Kate. He looked towards the bedroom and grinned.
The third was on the highest shelf, not necessarily out of the way, but not the first picture that would catch someone's attention. He took it down and looked at the bedroom again. He remembered the day well-
Work it, Tony, work it.
DiNozzo strut across the carpet while Kate's camera followed his path, to the smattering of cheers from people around the office. Strut. Pose. Strut. Pose. Someone's phone had the devilish idea of playing "I'm Too Sexy". Tony was lapping it up. Anne from the Surveillance squad waved a 10 dollar bill. He gyrated over to her and was within an arm's length when she quickly turned around and hightailed it in the other direction. Tony frowned, but it didn't take long for his brain to take stock of his surroundings. People had scattered like ants and Kate's camera stopped making noise.
"He's right behind me, isn't he?"
Tim coughed. "Uh, yes."
"Thanks, Probie."
"DiNozzo…"
He turned and grinned. "Kate's got a new camera. She was just testing it out to see all the cool new features and I thought I'd help her out. Isn't that right, Kate?"
Her mouth twitched at the desperate break at the end of the question. "I have no idea what you're talking about, Tony."
"Kate, c'mon!"
"DiNozzo…"
"Sure thing, Boss! Going to get those results from Abby right now!"
McGee frowned. "We don't have an open case-"
"Probie," Tony growled.
"Oh, right."
"For that, you can come with me."
The two men practically scurried out of the office before Gibbs could find something worse for them to do. Kate fiddled with her camera but didn't move. Gibbs narrowed his eyes.
"You just encourage him."
She shrugged. "He's not wrong- it is a new camera."
He tried tamping down his reaction to her banter by frowning, but she wasn't having any of it.
"Maybe I could get a picture of you? Just to make sure it works?"
He shook his head. "Not a chance."
"Just one little picture?"
Her pout was going to be the death of him. "If you think for a second I'm going to…" He motioned to the empty space on the floor, and it took Kate a second to realize what he was implying.
"Well, I wasn't thinking about it before." She punctuated her innuendo with a smirk and a wink, and his steely resolve lasted all of 5 and a half seconds before he cracked under her playful persuasion.
Click.
He hadn't realized she had been lining him up for the shot the entire time they'd been talking, but as soon as he heard the camera, he knew he had been played like a violin. Somehow he didn't seem to mind. He rarely looked at himself beyond a shave in the mirror every morning, so to see himself in the photo, so… unguarded caught him by surprise. The fact she had kept the photo on her bookshelf surprised him even more.
A bubble and hiss from the stove caught his attention, and he returned the photo to its spot.
x...x
"Whatever it is, smells wonderful," she said, her eyes closed.
Finding a place to put the bowl on the nightstand, he sat against her right hip and rested the plate on his lap. Opening her eyes, she took in his offering and smiled.
"Tomato soup and grilled cheese?"
"It was the best I could do with what I was given. I'll go get ya supplies later."
She touched his arm. "I love tomato soup and grilled cheese."
"Who doesn't?" he asked. "My mom always gave it to me when I was sick or came home with a busted lip or somethin'."
"I think if you came home with a busted lip and she gave you soup, she was trying to teach you a lesson."
He slowly nodded at the suggestion. "You may be right."
"Didn't work though, did it?"
He pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes. "Eat your damn soup."
When she went to reach for it, he saw the problem and he cursed himself for not thinking it through.
"I'll hold it. You eat."
Her eyes widened when he cradled the bowl in his hand and handed her the spoon. She curled the soup into the spoon and brought it up to her lips. The bowl followed her to her chin.
"If you start feeding me grapes, I'm going to wonder what happened to Gibbs."
He knew he projected an aura of thistles, a gruff demeanour that was meant to keep most people away, and did. He knew it because he had perfected it for years. Yet to hear her words, even meant in jest, irrationally angered him. She wasn't supposed to be 'most people'.
"Just let me take care of ya, will ya?" The hard edge to the words caused the soup to ripple over the lip of the bowl. "Shit." He reached for the nearby tissue box.
She didn't reply, only watched the emotions play out in his blue eyes, the ones she said could never lie to her. Even a downcast gaze couldn't hide them. She waited for him to mop up the small spill before asking, "Did you ever close the Bosman case?"
His head jerked up sharply. "What?"
"The Bosman case. Greg Bosman."
"Oh. Yeah, we, uh, followed up on the aunt." His small confusion turned to understanding when he looked into her eyes. He hoped his conveyed his appreciation for the change in subject. "Got him the day after." He couldn't bring himself to say the word 'accident'. "Eat that sandwich before the cheese gets cold."
"Did your mom cut it into triangles like this for you?"
"You disparaging my mother's grilled cheese technique?"
She grinned, taking a bite from one of the corners. "I don't blame you, you know." She waited until she was certain he understood she wasn't talking about the way he cut sandwiches. He turned his head away but was called back to her eyes with a simple word. "Gibbs."
God, he wondered what 'Jethro' would sound like coming out of her mouth. He pushed down that question and instead asked, "Yeah?"
"We said some horrible things to each other. Hell, I said some shitty things about you to Tony. But nothing that happened after I left the building was your fault."
"What did you say to Tony?"
She shook her head. "Out of those three things, that's not the one you should be concentrating on."
"I deserved everything you said."
"Also not the thing you should be concentrating on."
He held up the bowl to her lips and she took a spoonful without breaking eye contact. Left with only one option left, he sighed and briefly closed his eyes.
"The way I remember it, the only person who said horrible things was me. You were only speakin' the truth." Taking a deep breath, he plowed ahead, "It wasn't what we said that bothered me, Kate. It's the idea that those could have been our last words to each other."
"Gibbs, it's like that every day. Every time we go home at the end of the night, that could be the last time we see each other."
"Jesus, Kate, I didn't know you were so fatalistic."
"I prefer 'realist'. Considering the job we're in and the dangers we face, I'm surprised you're not more of one."
He pinched the bridge of his nose, wondering how he could make her understand when he was just learning the truth of it himself- dangers on the job were expected and they did everything they could to be prepared for any eventuality. And when it came to Kate Todd, he made sure to do everything and more. But the accident was a cruel reminder that he wasn't always around to protect her, and it burned like hell to know it.
She saw his struggle in his stormy eyes, his downturned mouth, the line between his brows. Again, she found just the right way to alter the subject away from his wounded heart.
"So let's make sure we never leave each other angry. It's all we can do, Gibbs."
He grumbled, not sure if he liked the agreement, but couldn't find fault in it, either. "Fine. Deal. Are you done?" He gestured to the food.
"Yeah," she replied, suddenly tired. "Why are my eyelids so heavy?"
"The painkillers are wearin' off, but they're tellin' your body to shut down," he told her, gathering the dishes. "You've got another 3 hours before the next round. Try an' get some shut eye."
"There'll be no trying involved," she said, yawning. "Halfway there already."
"I'll come back at 8 to check in."
She reached out blindly. "Don't go."
He balanced the bowl on the plate to reach out with a free hand. "I've gotta get you some food. There isn't a lick of anythin' in this place."
"You have a nice voice."
He blinked hard. "So I'm gonna go. Anythin' you need?"
The squeeze on his hand loosened as she began to drift off. "Jus' you. An' some ice cream."
"Okay." He resisted the urge to kiss her fingertips before gently placing her hand on the bed. "I'll be back."
"I like those words."
By the time he got to the door, she was out.
x...x