I've been away longer than I intended, dealing with a botched plumbing repair. My apologies for my absence here, where I meant to offer a chapter a week.

Hopefully I can resume doing that from this point forward.

What did it mean, that he was Awakened to Koss, but desired Tavin with such force? Was it a failing in himself? In what he and Koss shared? Or was it a simple matter of Koss' refusal to open to what existed between them, and Tavin's willingness to share so deeply of himself, asking for and accepting nothing in return but Kov's presence?

Kov touched the garment, and his mind formed new questions. It seemed to do a great deal of that, since he'd followed the scent upon the air, and there seemed to be no means by which he could discover the answers to any of the queries that so unsettled him.

Or, more accurately, no means beyond the melding and sharing with Tavin.

These questions centered around Tavin. What might have happened, had he not scented Koss yesterday morning, and been compelled to follow the scent? What if he had chanced to meet Tavin first?

Would he have instead Awakened to the older man?

If he had, would Tavin accept him in all ways – including mating? Would the barrier that now existed between them have never formed?

"These are foolish questions, Kov. They don't deal in what is, or even in what might be possible. You are Awakened to Koss, and you did not meet Tavin first. Therefore, there is no point in speculating upon what might have occurred if reality didn't happen as it did. To this question, there can be no answer. Not today, and not ever."

Kov couldn't argue with the logic of his own statement. It was unassailable. However, knowing the truth of it seemed to have no effect upon his mind's willingness to imagine a different outcome, one that avoided the undesirable reality of being Awakened so newly to a man who had no interest in their joining, when what he wanted was to be Awakened to the one man who had accepted him outright.

The thoughts refused to be suppressed. Given the choice, Kov would awaken to Tavin, and not Koss.

What would he choose to do, if Koss decided to open himself to their Awakening? Would that change the certainty that he was wrongly Awakened? Would he be as drawn to Koss as he had been when he followed him into the cleft in the rocky cliff wall?

Did he want to be?

Could he trust Koss? It was a matter of some importance. What he had learned from Tavin suggested a certain vulnerability to the process of Awakening. He had felt it last night, when Koss had retreated from him. The harm, if Tavin was to be believed, could grow much deeper, if their joining deepened. It was said to be possible, even, that one could die, if rejected by an Awakened of long standing to whom one was deeply attached.

Perhaps it was dangerous to trust Koss, now or ever.

But, if that were so, what would become of Kov? Awakening was intended to prepare one for mating and bonding. He was distrustful of his Intended, who didn't wish to be Awakened to him. He desired and was deeply drawn to a man who was not his Awakened, and whom he might never be able to mate with.

It was a most illogical conundrum in which to find himself, no less so because he had had no awareness that any of these circumstances were possible when he woke yesterday.

"But this is your reality now, Kov. Kaiidth. What is, is. Surrender to the reality, and perhaps the way forward will become clear."

He committed to that path, although he was uncertain how he would accomplish it.

Kov went into his comfort chamber and cleansed himself with fine sand. It removed the dust and grit from his skin, but did nothing to ease the unsettled feeling. Perhaps he must accept that, as well, if he was to return to state of balance.

He dressed in a simple set of dark robes which would allow him to blend into the landscape, become as a part of it so passersby would neither be disturbed by his presence or inclined to interact with him.

He was preparing his bag when he first heard the sound.

It was muffled, as though coming from a great distance, though the house was not large.

Kov tipped his head and listened.

Again, he heard it. Did it sound almost like someone calling his name? He listened, not drawing breath.

It came a third time. Yes. It was his name, and the speaker was located at the other end of the house, where Sivet had his chamber and his office.

But Sivet never called for him. Even when Kov was small, the instances of his father having any interest in him or his activities were rare enough to draw immediate notice when they occurred.

What did it mean, if his father called for him now?

Again the sound – and, this time, a note of– fear? Distress? Anger?

None of these were in keeping with Sivet's basic traits. Only once in all the years of his living had he heard Sivet lose control of his emotions.

That experience had been intense enough that Kov was now required to suppress the drive to hide, or to leave the structure as quickly and silently as was possible.

The cry came again, and there was something more animal in it. Kov repressed the escape impulses and left his chamber.

Again the cry. Why should it sound fainter, when he had moved closer, and removed several barriers?

A sound that was no longer language, and too weak to be considered a cry. It was coming from Sivet's study. Had his father's experimentation yielded unexpected and injurious results?

"Sivet?"

He floated the word softly and quietly, still almost afraid to know what had happened. He'd never been allowed into Sivet's room, even to his earliest memories. He'd long suspected Sivet used the space to hide from him, and the biological connection that linked them.

He almost hoped Sivet would send him away.