Three Can Keep A Secret

by New Yorktown

AU where Dipper became Ford's apprentice and now lives in Gravity Falls. Now 16 years old, Mabel is finally traveling back to that town to reunite with her brother after so long and see what he's been up to, sparking off strange new adventures and the surfacing of buried secrets. Written before the post-series comic was published.

5. Three Can Keep A Secret: Chapter 5

Night had fallen over Gravity Falls and the Mystery Shack was closed for business. Inside the building's den, an air mattress had been inflated and set with a generous helping of blankets and pillows. A couple of years ago Pacifica Northwest would have complained relentlessly about the conditions, but between the scraggy home she wasn't returning to and the adventures Dipper had taken her on, she had become accustomed to dirt and grim, though never fond of it.

Dipper was helping her get settled in for the night and tentatively discussing what they were going to do now. Going to the police was being seriously discussed, which in Gravity Falls indicates the concerned parties are truly at a loss. All the while, Mabel watched them from the next room, equally at a loss.

Her initial worry and uncertainty back had transformed to certainty then gone back to uncertainty again. Meeting Pacifica back in the town had seemingly provided an easy solution to the gap between her and Dipper: her brother's lack of communication with her and strange behavior were the result of a wicked snare cast by this manipulative seductress, probably trying to wrest the secrets of zombie making out him to sell to the military!

"But then things got really messed up and I jumped to Pacifica's defense because her dad is messed up and I guess she's not that bad but they're REALLY REALLY in love with each other but it's kinda cute since they're both huge clueless nerds they can't tell but do I want them to know UGH this got so complicated!" She thought to herself, but was fortunately interrupted from her difficult emotional struggle by Grunkle Ford smashing through the front door.

Dipper's greeting to his returning relative died in his throat as he took in the state of Ford, who was dirty with small skin cuts and stuck foliage all over his body, a clear sign he'd been sprinting through the forest. But what concerned everyone the most was the grim look on his face, the look of a hard edge applied over fear.

"Code Yellow." He said in a simple, serious tone, then strode across the room to the vending machine elevator as Dipper and Pacifica jumped into action. Mabel simply stood in place, unsure of what to do but with a growing dreadful certainty of what that meant.

The girl was busy pulling armored shutters over all the house's windows and unlocking hidden cabinets on the walls and floors, while Dipper had pried back a floor panel to reveal a hidden generator-shaped device, which he was eliciting a gentle static hum from as he worked its controls.

Grunkle Stan was back downstairs again about a minute later with a scowl on his face. "Stanford, I swear if you've decided to have another code yellow drill on this day, at this time of night, I'm going to take the upstairs yellow light and use it to smash up the downstairs yellow light." However, his attitude softened as he saw the two working quite seriously on the lower levels of the building. "This isn't a drill is it?"

"No it's not Stanley." Ford spoke up, reentering the ground floor, and in response to this knowledge Stan wordlessly held Mabel close. "Dipper, Pacifica, status update?"

"Psychic static generator up and running."

"Windows are secure and the emergency stashes are open."

"And I've reactivated the security system." Ford commented, briefly sliding an armored window plate to confirm that a modified roomba with over sized wheels and an enlarged carrying tank with release chute was spreading an updated unicorn hair solution around the building. Then, he gathered everyone present around the kitchen table to explain the situation.

"This morning when I was performing the rudimentary checks on our equipment, I found a bear that had been slaughtered and it's blood used to paint Bill Cipher on a tree." He explained in a to the point manner. "My first hypothesis was that this could be another deranged cultist, so I opted to check several spiritual locations alone, to hopefully confirm my guess and avert a panic."

Dipper was beginning to shake in his chair as the new became more obvious, while Pacifica put a hand on his shoulder, Stan's expression became hard and angry, and Mabel just looked at her feet.

"My last stop was the Shaman's Cave, and within that... within that I suffered a severe psychic attack, far beyond the ability of any human medium to generate." Ford continued, wavering slightly from the fresh wounds. "For the time being, we must assume Bill Cipher is alive and poses a threat to the world."

"He could have been alive all along!" Dipper cried out, face contorting with horror as he slammed his fists on the table. "It CAN'T be a coincidence this happened right as you returned to town Mabel! He waited until you were back so he could kill us all at once!"

"That sick triangle freak..." Stan breathed, his rage running cold now. "Forget about punching it, if I get my hands on him again I'm carving that eye out!"

Mabel looked up after a bit of uncertain silence had fallen over the table. "I've been having dreams." She admitted, drawing concerned looks from the table. "At first I thought it was just bad memories brought back by being in town, but Dipper's right, it can't be a coincidence. I've seen Bill when I dream."

Ford's expression fell even further at this. "Dipper, take Mabel down to the lab and make sure she's safe. The machine will be activating due to the security system going on."

"Hold on, you're not thinking of using the brain scrambler doohickey on her!?" Stan yelled accusingly.

"The Mental Investigation/Neural Defense device is in its fourth version and is perfectly safe." Ford replied confidently. "Furthermore it's the only way to ensure Bill doesn't have a hold inside... her...head..." The scientist trailed off, the short rhyme the cave showed him coming back.

"It made Soos think he was a dolphin! We're still banned from that sushi place!" Stan yelled back, but Mabel put a hand on his arm.

"It's okay Grunkle Stan." She said softly. "I know Dipper will keep me safe. I trust him."

Ford looked at his brother sympathetically. "If it will make you feel better, you can go with them even though we need more hands up here. Goodness knows I wouldn't be able to stop you."

Instead of storming off with the kids though, the old con artist opted to smile softly. "Nah, I'll give you a hand poindexter. Mabel's right, I trust Dipper too." Then, his grin got wider and slightly malicious, in a way that indicated he was spoiling for a fight. "Now, let's take a look at what you've cooked up in the weapons department!"

Once Dipper and Mabel were aboard the hidden elevator, the boy was the first to speak up. "You said you were having dreams?"

Mabel looked a little nervous at this question, but answered regardless. "Well, yeah, normal stuff, specters of Bill ominously mocking me in realms of sprawling chaos. That kind of thing."

Dipper gave her a soft smile in response. "Hey, that's alright, one of the best things to do about stuff like this is talk about it. I had bad dreams for quite awhile after I came back to town." He explained. "It's not easy to come face to face with death the way you did in the forest, to know you were so close to dying just like they did. Once it happens, and you fully realize how close you came to the end, the thought of death can work its way into your head and dominate your every waking moment."

Mabel frowned and looked away from her twin. "How did you get over it?"

"You never do, not completely. You can't put the realization of your own mortality back in the bottle." Dipper admitted, with a resigned tone, but then added hopefully "But what you can do is find something that's worth living for, something that overpowers the urge to crawl away somewhere lonely and safe in order to cling to life for as long as possible."

Things were quiet for a moment as Mabel processed what he said. "Besides," Dipper added, "I'm not scared of death. I'm scared of Bill, and what'd he do to you if I can't stop him."

Though her brother's concern touched her heart, his words left Mable looking at her brother with fear and concern. "Dipper, do you hear what you're saying? Those were terrible things to say, to live by! You're... you're hurt inside bro, and those wounds need to be healed, not ignored." Then, she spoke really softly and got closer to her brother. "Please, when this is all over, come back with me. Get away from all this weirdness and pain. You can heal back at home."

Dipper looked at her regretfully. "I've... I've thought about it sometimes. Sometimes when I'm staring up at the stars and understanding the relative meaninglessness of human existence or laying bandaged up in bed from a stab wound, I think maybe it would be better if I traveled back to California and just lived a normal life."

"You still can Dipper."

"No. No I can't." He said solemnly. "I've seen too much of the true nature of the world. I wouldn't mentally survive returning to a normal house on a normal street surrounded by people living in ignorance. It'd be maddening." Then, Dipper cracked an uncomfortable little smile. "Besides, those bits I was talking about are just the rare bad day. Most days here are fun or at least interesting."

Mabel's brow furrowed. "Dipper..."

The conversation abruptly ended when the elevator reached its destination. Dipper seemed relived by this. "Come on, lets get the machine going."

Back above ground, the Shack's defensive systems, installed in chunks over the years by Ford, were fully operational. Stan had just gotten off the phone with Soos, who would likely be taking Melody and his grandmother to the safe room the Pines family had freely added to his recently vacated home soon after he bought it.

After that though, not much could be done, for the humans had very little knowledge of what their enemy was up to. Ford was sitting at a radio equipment station hidden behind a wall panel, monitoring local frequencies for signs of trouble, while Pacifica had plugged a laptop into a USB port hidden behind a light switch, giving her access to the building's sensor suite, which she was observing for anomalies.

Unfortunately, neither detection system was able to locate the enemy, which moved unnoticed until Stan, by chance, opted to crack open an armored shutter just an inch to look outside the building.

As a result, he was the first to gaze upon the army of the dead.

Deep below in the sound protected basement laboratory, Dipper had successfully strapped Mabel to the chair of the MI/ND Device, an improvement on the technology he and Grunkle Ford used to fortify their minds against Bill Cipher years ago.

"So this stuff will keep Bill out of my head forever, right?" She asked.

"Not right away." Dipper replied regretfully. "The mental encoding process takes hours, and we don't have that right now. So instead, I'm going to use this to locate any presence or influence Bill might have inside your mind, and remove it with the machine's integrated McGucket neurodrive."

"You're going to use the memory gun on me?" Mabel asked nervously.

"It's an improved model!" Dipper said with apologetic haste. "Despite the risks associated with it, the memory gun's ability to kill psychic entities and free their victims was too useful to throw away. We got really lucky with Grunkle Stan regaining his memories, so we refined the device. With the aid of the direct neural link of the larger machine, it can locate and destroy just Bill."

"Don't worry Dipper, I told you already that I trust you." She said, then got an excited look on her face. "Now come on, let's burn that sick shape outta my head!"

Back above ground, the three had gathered around the cracked window to gaze upon the army of the undead gathered outside. Red eyes glowed on the dark as emancipated, malformed bodies swayed in the soft moonlight.

"So, we got zombies." Stan remarked. "Time to turn on the sound system?"

"No. If these are Bill animated zombies then they're controlled by a very rudimentary interface of Bill's mental powers connecting with the remains of their nervous systems to propel the withered remains of the bodies, as opposed to pure necromantic reanimation." Ford explained.

"You lost me at If, but I get the point."

"The thing is, Bill can't normally reanimate the dead purely by his own will." Ford mused. "Dead brain tissue doesn't interface with the Dimension of Dreams the way living minds do, so to touch them he needs physical presence. If he had a physical form again, we'd know by now, so that means he must have physical conduit."

The unspoken question of who this unknown acolyte could be was answered quite quickly, as one of the crowd stepped forward, triggering the Shack's motion sensor lights and illuminating the form of Preston Northwest, who looked like more of a wreck then ever. Probably because he was dead, the three realized simultaneously.

The ruined aristocrat moved with the same jerky, rough puppeteer movement that the other zombies did, his suit was deeply stained with dirt and drying blood, and he had an immense gash carved onto his lower neck. Pacifica, who less than an hour ago was overcome with fear and hatred for her father, had no idea how to react to the cadaverous puppet that remained of him, and her emotions eventually settled on horror.

After coming to a stop near the walls of the Mystery Shack, the skin flaps around Preston's lethal neck wound began to shake as a raping noise whistled out of the open hole. To the growing horror of the three inside the building, Bill was manipulating the corpse's vocal cords to stimulate noise out of the neck wound, speaking while the loosely attached head bobbed about limply with a frozen open mouth.

"LONG TIME NO SEE SIXER! BASED ON MY LACK OF PROJECTION ABILITIES I'M GUESSING YOU REDECORATED IN THERE? WON'T MATTER MUCH SOON, BUT GOOD EFFORT IN TRYING. THANKS FOR BURYING ALL MY VICTIMS IN AN EASILY ACCESSED MASS GRAVE BY THE WAY."

Stan had jumped into action, going about the building and preparing for combat. Pacifica was as well, but at a slower rate due to shock. Taking a second to confirm he still had his gun from earlier in coat, Ford activated the Shack's speaker system to talk to Bill, buying time for everyone involved to get to work.

"So, you've returned to physical life somehow, but you've clearly lost most of your power seeing as you're hiding behind corpses instead of just dropping a fearamid on us. You're theatrical, but not stupid. What are you playing at?"

"KILLING YOU AND YOUR FAMILY IN A STATE OF ABJECT FEAR AND DESPAIR." He remarked, almost casually despite the gravely tone of voice the macabre method of delivery gave the words. "JUST LIKE THE REST OF THE HUMAN RACE. SEE BEFORE I WAS WILLING TO KEEP SOME OF YOUR PATHETIC SPECIES ALIVE. AFTER ALL, YOU MAKE SUCH FUN TOYS TO PLAY WITH! BUT YOU, STANFORD PINES, HAVE CONVINCED ME HUMANS ARE FAR TOO MUCH OF A THREAT TO MY POWER! SO, I'M GOING TO CLEANSE THIS PLANET DOWN TO THE MICROBES AND USE THE DEAD BALL OF ROCK AS A STORAGE ROOM FOR PARTY SUPPLIES." Despite the lack of active face muscles on the corpse puppet, Preston's expression almost seemed to become smug. "CONGRATULATIONS!"

"But how are you doing this!?" Ford asked, not expecting a real answer but stalling for even a second's worth of time while Stan loaded a heavily sawed down Winchester Model 1887 Shotgun with shells of Ford's own design, a highly irregular mixture of silver dust, rock salt, iron filings, and high explosive compounds. "How did you survive the memory gun?"

"I SEE WHAT YOU'RE UP TO SIXER, PLYING ME FOR INFORMATION SO YOU CAN PLAY BIG HERO AND FOIL MY SCHEME AT THE LAST SECOND WITH SOME CAREFULLY APPLIED SCIENCE, EH?" Bill replied mockingly, then went on cheerfully, "WELL LUCKY FOR ME, I DON'T HAVE A COMPLEX PLAN BEYOND BRUTALLY MURDERING YOU IN THE DEPTHS OF YOUR DESPAIR WITH AN ARMY OF ZOMBIES! SO WHY THE HELL NOT, LET'S CHAT FOR AWHILE! IN FACT, SPEAKING OF THE WHOLE DYING IN DESPAIR THING, THE HOW OF THIS EVENT MIGHT HELP ON THAT FRONT, BECAUSE BOY IS IT A DOOZY..."

Still unaware Bill had struck so soon, Dipper and Mabel were down below with the MI/ND Device up and operational. The girl simply sat in place in her seat with the wire sprouting metal cap on her head, too nervous to even feel boredom, while her brother intuited thick displays of data on a computer screen and adjusted the device as necessary, hunting his ethereal foe over the landscape of the mind. Everything was going well enough, until a sudden data pop up elicited a look of disgust from Dipper.

"Okay, did not need to know that..." Dipper said softly as he closed that box. Mabel looked away from him, well aware of dozens of things inside her mind she didn't want her brother knowing that it could have been.

Despite his handling of the computer system, the exact same data block popped back up right over the one Dipper was currently reading. Then another unwelcome bit of information about Mabel's journey through puberty, then another, and another, each one getting increasingly crudely written until the screen was covered with pop ups like a 2000's machine with inadequate firewalls. Then, the screen froze with an audible wirring noise, and after a second the streams of data were replaced with Bill Cipher's glowing eye.

"PINE TREE, SHOOTING STAR, HOW YA BEEN?" His voice asked over the machine's speakers, in a tone that implied he'd be tipping his hat were he there in person.

"Bill!" Dipper shouted while jumping back from the console in shock, while Mable simply gasped.

"IN THE ELECTRON STREAM FLESHBAGS!" The dream demon taunted back as Dipper fought down his fear and rushed to the controls. "AW, NO HELLO, NO FLOWERS PINE TREE? NOT EVEN A PALTRY HOW CAN THIS BE TO WELCOME YOUR OLD PAL BILL CIPHER BACK TO THE WORLD OF THE LIVING?"

"Not this time Bill!" Dipper shot back, fingers flying over the control panel. "No more tricks or lies! You're trapped inside this machine, and this machine kills psychics!"

"YEAH YEAH GREAT, I'M SURE IT DOES." Bill said dismissively. "ANYWAYS, YOU'VE PROBBED AROUND MY NEW HOME ENOUGH ALREADY!"

Static enveloped the screen and Bill's eye vanished, replaced with a first person view of a forest. Dipper ignored it at first, intent on completing his task to save his sister, but was eventually forced to look up when it occurred to him he needed to read the display, and scowled with confusion at the seemingly unimportant scene Bill had displayed for him. As he was working to wire a secondary monitor in that the data could hopefully be projected onto, a familiar face popped up.

"Blendin Blandin?" Dipper said, confused more than anything else, while Mabel's blood ran cold. Despite himself, the boy couldn't help but keep looking at what Bill was showing him, so in a moment of panic Mabel surged out of the chair and pushed Dipper away from the machine, looking for a power switch to turn it off. "Mabel what the hell!?" Dipper shouted at her, before his eyes shrank with a horrified expression while stepping back.

"Dipper, please, Bill's trying to trick you, you really, really, REALLY shouldn't watch that!" Mabel pleaded as she found and flicked a switch on the monitor, going from confused to scared as Dipper began to move slowly around the room and his body language tensed up, like a cat being backed into a corner.

"I finally figured it out." He said in a measured tone. "We never did understand why you bothered to stick Mabel in a big illusion world bubble when you were more than happy to just murder me, until just now."

"Dipper, what are you talking about?" Mabel asked, increasingly frightened.

"The bubble was the key. You warped the illusion world to coerce Mabel into accepting you, or maybe you were able to overpower her with all the power you gained in the physical world!" Dipper hypothesized. "But it's you inside there now, isn't it Bill!? How long have you controlled her? WAS THE LAST TIME I TRULY TALKED TO MY SISTER A STUPID ARGUMENT!?" Dipper screamed, tears running down his face.

"Dipper, please, you're wrong, it's me Mabel!" She pleaded, even forcing out a little jig where she waved her arms in front of her to try and convince him. "I'm not possessed by Bill Cipher, it's really me!"

"You won't trick me again Bill. This time I'm going to kill you." Dipper said darkly. Then, he picked up crowbar kept in the room for plying open the panels on the sturdy machinery. The boy paused his advance for a moment to look his wet, swollen eyes upwards. "Mabel, if you hear me somehow, I'm sorry. Your body is going to be in a lot of pain when you get it back."

"YOU SEE, YOU ACTUALLY DID MANAGE TO DESTROY ME WITH THAT LITTLE CLOTHES TRICK!" Bill explained through his puppet back above ground. "FORTUNATELY AS A MASTER OF 13 DIMENSIONS OF MAGIC, I MANAGED TO CAST A SPELL TO PULL ME OUT OF THE FIRE. BUT OF COURSE, MAGIC ISN'T AN EXACT SCIENCE, SCIENCE IS! WHICH IS WHY I WANTED YOU TO HELP ME SO MUCH SIXER!"

Ford frowned a little bit at this, then glanced aside to notice Pacifica and Stan had left the room.

"MY RESURRECTION SPELL SPLIT ME APART BY THE SIDES, THEN DEPOSITED THE THREE PIECES OF ME INTO THE MINDS OF THREE PEOPLE WHO HAD BARTERED FOR MY SERVICE." A tone of annoyance fell onto his voice briefly. "YOU AND PINE TREE WERE MY FIRST CHOICES, BUT THOSE METAL PLATES YOU TWO ARE SPORTING SPOILED THAT BIT OF FUN."

"YOU SAID YOU WEREN'T GOING TO DO THAT!" Both Stan and Pacifica screamed at Ford from elsewhere in the house, causing him to flinch a little. Bill seemed to chuckle at this, but it came out a whistling rasp.

"THAT LEFT ME WITH THREE WORTHY CHOICES. THE WANNABE HORSEMAN OF THE APOCALYPSE THAT YOU SEE BEFORE YOU, WHO WAS ALREADY TEETERING ON THE EDGE OF MADNESS BEFORE I PUSHED HIM OVER WITH AUDIO/VISUAL HALLUCINATIONS." Bill explained, doing a mocking little pose with the decaying corpse. "THE INCOMPETENT TIME AGENT FROM THE FUTURE, WHO FLED TO THE WILD WEST TO ESCAPE HIS FAILURE BUT WAS EVENTUALLY TRACKED DOWN, FORCED TO DIG HIS OWN GRAVE, THEN SHOT IN THE HEAD BY ANGRY COLLEAGUES IN REVENGE ALL THOSE PEOPLE HE GOT KILLED." Bill paused for a moment. "ZOMBIE NUMBER 38, TAKE A NOTE: WHEN WE'RE DONE HERE, WE NEED TO ROAD TRIP TO ARIZONA AND DIG THAT CLOWN UP."

None of the corpse puppets moved in response to this demand. "AND FINALLY, LITTLE SHOOTING STAR HERSELF. A GIRL SO SELFISH SHE WAS WILLING TO TRUST SOMEONE WHO TRIED TO UNBIRTH HER FOR THE SMALL CHANCE OF HOLDING BACK HER SIBLING FOR AN INFINITE LOOP OF TIME." Another gravely attempt at laughter, like helium escaping a tank. "NEVER WOULD HAVE FIGURED THAT ONE OUT, WOULD YOU SIXER? SHE SENT YOU ALL TO HELL AND SPENT THE APOCALYPSE PARTYING IT OUT IN AN ILLUSION WORLD! OH, WHAT I'D GIVE TO BE ABLE TO SEE THE LOOKS ON YOUR FACES RIGHT..."

More villainous gloating was interrupted as Preston's chest cavity exploded, spewing rotten meat and putrid fluids everywhere. The mangled form collapsed to the dirt, and while its sustained twitching and writhing indicated Bill still controlled that nervous system, the body was far too physically mangled to function now.

"Ford, does this guy EVER shut up!?" Stan called out from an upper floor window, leaning out with a smoking gun in hand. "I don't know if you can hear me you sick son of a bitch, but here's a free tip: Never lie to a professional liar!" As the zombie hoard began to move, the sound of shuffling and groaning filling the air, Stan ejected the spent shell from his weapon. "Especially not one with a big gun and two kids to protect." he said in a softer tone, then took aim into the hoard.