The blinding light receded and reality returned to focus again, a bright world of vague shapes giving way to a dark, cold place of simple metal constructs. Dipper Pines and Pacifica Northwest simply revealed in wonder over their first jump through dimensions, while Stanford Pines, a man more familiar with the experience then he'd like, simply set to work, pulling a scanning multi-tool from inside his voluminous coat.
"Chemical mix in the air is normal, temperature is survivable, atmosphere is a little low on oxygen/high on argon, but breathable. Gravity levels roughly equivalent to planet Venus. Background arcane radiation is zero." His first check done, Ford snapped the device shut and stowed it away. "Right, let's find out where we are."
The previously mentioned wonder at the other world held by the younger two quickly faded, as they spent several minutes discovering that "the wonders of infinite realms of possibility and unlimited probability" consisted of several long, unmarked corridors constructed from grey gunmetal, or something visually equivalent to it. "Based on the size and shape of these doors..." Ford mused while looking over one of the irregular panels in the wall which he was admittedly assuming was a door "Whoever lives here is either non-humanoid in shape, or they are very large humanoids, though I don't know what to make of this keypad..." He thought while glancing at the door's controls, three interlocking rings of illuminated buttons with depressed pits in the center and in a hexagon pattern around it.
"Uh, guys, I think I hear something!" Pacifica spoke up, a true enough, the two Pines soon picked up the sound of soft humming, drawing closer from around a corner.
"Alright, best behavior everyone." Ford said quietly while stepping in front, and raising his hands to show he wasn't armed. "Let's see who we're dealing with here."
Around the corner glided a sculpted being entirely made of metal, four spinning arms with hands connected to a thin looking metal pole that was topped with a glowing red light on top and a wide, thin circle touching the floor. It caught "sight" of the three and came to a stop, the red light atop its head passing between the individuals.
"Hmm, some kind of robot no doubt, could be security or service." Ford muttered quietly. "Hopefully the mind swimmers have had long enough to work." He added, causing Pacifica to squirm slightly at the memory of having the living fish-like creature swim up her nose and nestle in her sinus cavity.
Though gross, the brain fish were a key component of dimensional exploration, as before Ford discovered them after a few years of being lost between worlds the language barrier was completely insurmountable, but he found them living in a small nightmare about drowning during a brief stay in captivity within the Nightmare Realm, and soon after discovered that when taken to a material realm and bonded to a host, they independently explore the collective unconscious of wherever you've ended up, learn the local language as quick as possible, then psychically translate back and forth for you. Very useful for realms where things like sound, time, and mouth delivered speech don't exist. As dreams spun to flesh, they were very easy to care for, and Ford had transformed the small jar of fingerlings he had in his pocket when he exited the portal all those years ago into a healthy pond community back on earth.
"Do you recognize it Grunkle Ford? Do you know where we are?" Dipper asked.
"Not exactly. No two universes are exactly alike, but a great many of them are very similar. Comes with all the alternate universes and such, with there being presumably billions of worlds similar enough to our own that we could fit into with no difficulty." He explained as the machine processed them without words. "Based on previous experiences with minimalist metal corridors, lack of windows, air that's both ample and stale, and a magnetic drive robot clearly designed for very little environmental ruggedness asides from zero gravity, I can safely hypothesize we are in an outer space construction of some kind or very deep underground."
"You are... ORGANIC!" The machine stated, abruptly synthesizing a singsong voice clip cobbled together from recordings of different people in different conversations. "You are to be... taken to... Security Captain Straldezar/Security Captain Straldezar is unavailable for duty... taken to... Security Overseer Tralbagari/Security Overseer Tralbagari is unavailable for duty... taken to... Security Coordinator Davgeloch/Security Coordinator Davgeloch is unavailable for duty..."
The machine continued to vocalize like this for almost a minute, seeming to cut together jarringly different recordings for the purpose of arguing with itself over who the three travelers should be turned over to. Ford knew better than to interject with a machine like this, as it was no doubt too simplistically programmed to accommodate willingness to help by the people it has captured, and he'd very much not like to place a bunch of robot shenanigans in-between himself and whoever is running this place.
"Security Ensign Flemabulun!" The security robot declared, using a voice clip of what sounded like a screaming superior officer, then proceeded to say something new. "Is on duty, deck C-23. You will accompany. Please be advised that... trespassing on a, Valignian, Military, Outpost... is a serious crime, and commission, of another/serious crime, such as... resisting arrest/assaulting a security drone/destruction of property/public waste dispersal, will upgrade your threat level... to shoot on sight." It explained, while the hand facing the direction of the three began to shift and fuse, until it had taken the unmistakable form of a gun barrel. "You will accompany."
"Of course, of course, we have no desire for further trouble!" Ford stated reassuringly, looking about to see if he could spot security equipment. The security robot meanwhile was seeming to glide backwards as it led the intruders through the station, its singular visual scanner remaining placed on its prisoners all while it expertly navigated the corridors. All three in the group noticed that it had no need to interact with the oddly shaped control panels to make doors slide open for itself and its charges. "Alright you two, prepare yourself, for I feel we'll be dealing with a strictly military mind soon, one of the multiverse's annoying constants."
"You take me to the nicest places Dipper." Pacifica remarked with a sarcastic tone as three were led deeper into the strange complex.
As they passed through the winding corridors of identical metal, the lack of any living things walking the halls began to arouse curiosity. The falling footsteps of the humans and the gentle hovering of the machine were the only noises in this place, echoing across the long and empty halls. Finally, they were led into what was clearly an elevator, for although the cylindrical space was completely silent after the four figures pressed into it, they were in a completely different location when the door slid open again. For the younger two dimension travelers, the sight took their breath away.
The room they were admitted into was a large, circular space with the ceiling being a huge glass dome that offered one a dazzling view of outer space. Unfamiliar stars and winding nebulae dominated the sky, unobscured by atmosphere or light pollution. Ford's attention however was drawn to the surface level environment, a sprawling series of what seemed to be computer stations, albeit highly advanced and configured for inhuman physiology.
Everyone's attention was caught when the sound of chattering feet on metal began to fill the room and a shape began to move through the gently curving rows of computer stations. It kept itself low, allowing the humans to catch only brief glances of a strange, angular body between consoles and screens. When they finally saw it in full, the creature was almost right on top of them, extending to full height over its captives.
The alien creature could be described in earth biology as a seven legged arthropod, three to each side of its cylindrical center body and the odd numbered leg coming directly from the the back. The front of the body sprouted three gaping, writhing tentacles that ended in open holes, a circle of micro eyes spread around each gap and a grasping series of prehensile, stringy strands hanging out of each one. From the perception of the earthlings, it broadcast perfectly flat sounding English from inside these three holes, but this was merely the result of the mind swimmers being pushed to their furthest.
"You are intruders/enemies/lawbreakers." It stated, each tentacles rapidly examining one of the three humans. "But you are organics/non-cyborgs/solid bodies, so you cannot be invaders/killers/the enemy. Explain/enunciate/educate." The longer the alien creature spoke, the more emotion seemed to creep into its voice as the mind swimmers gained a better grasp of its thought process, better able to relay that this alien was in the depths of great fear.
"My name is Stanford Pines of the planet Earth, and these are my two assistants, Dipper Pines and Pacifica Northwest." Then he quietly looked behind him and said softly "Just roll with the assistant thing, explaining mammal family dynamics to outer dimensional arthropods can take days."
"Earth?" It seemed to asked. "Earth earth earth earth earthearthearthearthearthearth." It chattered to itself, rolling the word around its three mouths in an attempt to swallow it. "Earth is an enemy breeding ground/training camp/factory. Gilweggle has show it to us, along with other enemy breeding grounds/training camps/factories."
"How can Earth possibly be your enemy!?" Dipper asked up. "The people of Earth have barely traveled to their moon, how are they a threat to all this?"
"We are in an alternate dimension." Ford chided gently. "Please, Security Ensign, tell us about this enemy you face, maybe we can help you." he asked, stalling for time.
"The enemy are a galactic virus/enemy nation/racial purists." It began to explain, voice taking on a tone of eager fear and anger. "They sweep across the galaxy invading/collecting/sterilizing worlds. Space controlled by them is dominated by genocides/crackdowns/fascists. All possible lengths have been authorized to defend against/defeat/take revenge upon them. Such as the nanomachine virus."
"Nanomachine virus?" Stanford asked, becoming increasingly off put by this situation but definitely feeling like he was on Bill's trail.
"Nanomachine Virus, devised by Science Officer Gilweggle." The creature explained, displaying a strange degree of trust in these outsiders. "200 Cycles ago this station was attacked by a biological weapon/synthetic illness/murderous song deployed by the enemy to blind this observation post. I and Science Officer Gilweggle were the only survivors due to damage to the outer solar collectors that required repair/replacement/regeneration. The service robots/military droids/metal friends decontaminated the station before our life current ran dry, but all comrades/allied soldiers/friends had been killed/purged/exterminated by then, and without any surviving communications officers or pilots, we could not acquire aid from the greater Valignian military."
The two younger explorers balked slightly, as they realized they'd been striding through an empty tomb.
"Roughly 60 Cycles ago, Science Officer Gilweggle began to experience aberrant/extraordinary/inspiring personality malfunctions, displaying advanced knowledge beyond his training/strange speech patterns/Class 2 personal ambition. He performed modification/heresy/improvement to the station's sensor suites, unveiling the fact that several allied/primitive/organic inhabited planets had been conquered/exterminated/processed by the enemy, and devised a counter-attack, a swarm of self-replicating nanomachines programmed to devour enemy weapons/constructs/civilians. They will be loaded into magnetic drive message pods. Unfortunately, Science Officer Gilweggle explained that the magnetic radiation of the pods prevents robots/service machines/metal friends for functioning in their repair chamber, meaning the enemy weapon still grows/occupies/sings in that room. He has willingly exposed to himself to death to load the nanomachine virus. I have been left with the duty/honor/privilege of launching the pods, which are already primed for release and will initiate the cleansing/conquest/defensive maneuvers when this station's galactic orbit has placed it on a prime firing vector."
"Well, thank you for that very detailed explanation, I understand perfectly now." Ford stated before drawing one of the handguns he brought from earth and emptying it center mass into the security robot. The repeated bullet impacts punched down the metal stalk and finally snapped it half, causing the head of the robot to fall to the floor and uselessly request assistance while the magnetic hover skirt rolled aimlessly across the floor. "Keep him busy!" Ford shouted regarding the alien while running towards the largest and most important looking computer in the room.
Dipper had meanwhile produced a collapsible crossbow from his backpack, while Pacifica pulled out a small hairdryer, which she dropped out of annoyance and went back to digging around in her bag. "I'm not as good at this as you two, okay?"
Dipper just gave a small, amused smile at this while looking at down at the alien. "You just don't have practice, that's all. Remind me to tell you about the time I was just starting out and tried to threaten a Popobawa with an oil diffuser." Then, remembering his job, Dipper attempted to sound more threatening. "As for you, uh, just stay where you are! We don't want to hurt you, but you are on the verge of doing something terrible for a really bad reason and we can't let it happen!"
By now Ford had pried loose some metal panels and was wiring his universal psychohacker tool into the computer system, and was soon greeted by a hologram of a familiar open eye, springing to life unprompted from the device's hologram projector.
"HEYA SIXER!" Bill Cipher's grating voice rang out. "IF YOU'RE WATCHING THIS RECORDING IT MEANS I'VE ALREADY JUMPED SHIP FROM THIS TOMB OF PARANOID ALIEN SOLDIERS AND LEFT A SEVEN TIMES GENOCIDE BEHIND AS A PARTING GIFT! AND, HERE'S A PLOT TWIST, ONE OF THE PLANET'S I'VE MARKED FOR DEATH IS THIS UNIVERSE'S VERSION OF EARTH! I GOTTA THANK YOU SIXER, DESTROYING PLANETS HAD HONESTLY GOTTEN KINDA BORING FOR ME AFTER EONS OF HILARIOUS MASS SLAUGHTER, BUT NOW, THANKS TO YOU? DESTROYING ANY VERSION OF YOUR DISGUSTING HOMEWORLD FILLS ME WITH A SPECIAL KIND OF JOY! AU REVOIR SIXER!"
Ford had stopped listening and begun running at the words parting gift. He'd projected up all static visual files inside the computer then flash memorized what he had to hope was a diagram of the space station they were on. He was unable to read the alien lettering before him (a notable weakness of the purely mental mind swimmers) but based on the high usage of magnetic technology here, the scientist was able to extrapolate from the shape of the station and it's magnetic polar design what a magnetic rail gun instillation that would launch "magnetic drive message pods." Several large stations with magnetic tunnels that ran near the length of the ship were present, but based on positioning and how similar they were to each other, Ford concluded those were weapon emplacements. Finally, he located a small magnetic firing line near the bottom of the station, with a much shorter rail and no other position like it. After all, a military outpost of this nature would no doubt have several gun emplacements, but only a single magnetic message pod chamber.
"Don't let him touch any of the computers! I'll be back!" Ford yelled as he ran out the exit door, leaving his backpack on the floor for more speed.
"Does ally organic wish to avert our counterattack/genocide crusade/mercy killing?" The large alien asked, with what the mind swimmers interpreted as confusion. "Impossible. Such actions are illogical/treasonous/self-harming. This miscommunication must be resolved." It spoke before trying to move to a computer, only for Dipper to bark at it.
"Can't let you do that big guy." He said sympathetically. "Look, I know you're scared, I know you're grieving your friends, and I know this enemy of yours sounds really bad, but you can't launch those nanomachines. You've been tricked and will kill trillions of innocent lives! Your science officer was not what he seemed!"
"Impossible. Science Officer Gilweggle is Science Officer/Superior Officer/Surviving Official he cannot be wrong. Experts must be obeyed in times of crisis. You are enemy infiltrators. Either the enemy has improved hologram or cyber-conversion technology. Command must be informed, and you must be Killed/Slaughtered/Saved." It reasoned out, before beginning to take ominous steps towards the two young earthlings.
Down below, Stanford Pines had rushed through the station complex, having to depend entirely on a projected hologram in front of him for guidance. While he could have ensured a more sure route by taking longer to plan, the old scientist knew Bill would leave him as short a clock as possible, and acting quickly was his only chance to save those planets. In the pit of his stomach he feared he might already be too late, but like Mabel would have he focused on the bright possibilities.
Ford breathed a sigh of relief when he reached the room on the map, a circular chamber with eight cylindrical chambers, primed and ready to launch. Ford ran to the closest one and used a pocket stored plasma cutter to begin cutting through the steel tube. It was slow going though, and in the end his work only rewarded him with a crumpled up alien of the same species as their "host" sloughing out of the tube, crunchy and leaking liquid. "You always find some way to top yourself Bill." Ford spoke with disgust, pulling out an atmosphere reader and discovering that this room had been properly disinfected just like the rest of the station. The human snorted, having been suspicious of the room's effect on robots after realizing magnetic acceleration tubes ran the length of this station several times.
He thought for a moment, analyzing his odds of safely cutting free all seven nanomachine bearing pods before the unseen clock ran out, and determined he couldn't risk unleashing the machines on Dipper and Pacifica or that even one would be fired. He readied his psychic hacker and attached it to the mail system's control computers.
"Machine!" He thought to himself after establishing a mental connection to the tool. "Sweep operating system for all numerical values with a 73% similarity to three dimensional space coordinates in any known numerical systems. Then search, erase and replace all designated values with your exact coordinates."
"Acknowledged."
With a mental note to build a new one back on Earth, Ford left the device behind and sprinted off to run the height of the station again, unconsciously checking his coat to see if the Fast Return Switch was still there, which it was.
Meanwhile, an alien warrior was advancing menacingly towards Dipper. He shouted out a few increasingly begging warnings, then with regret let the crossbow bolt sail.
At that kind of range he couldn't miss, and the stainless steel bolt ripped into the chitin flesh with surprisingly little resistance, sending steady pumps of smelly dark liquid spilling onto the polished metal floors. The alien shrieked out a noise that could only be distress and went into a mad charge, barreling into Dipper and beating him to the side and sending his crossbow scuttling across the floor in the opposite direction. The creature then climbed over Dipper, raising one foot high up above the boy's head, letting him notice for the first time that their otherwise spindly feet ended in extremely sharp looking barbs. "Ah, of course it'd be like that." Dipper remarked, employing his tried and true strategy of averting mortal terror with sarcasm as he shielded his face with his arms.
However, the executioner's blade never fell, and very quickly the smell of ozone reached the boy's mouth. "Dipper, move!" he heard Pacifica yell, and after the momentary shock of not being dead, rolled to the side. It proved unnecessary, as the menacing arthropod fell to its side, sizzling with smoke and spilling more putrid bio-fluids onto the ground. Still, the sharp foot landed closer to where Dipper's head was then he was comfortable with, so he was glad nonetheless.
Then he looked to the source of the cry and saw Pacifica standing there, with Grunkle Ford's 8th model direct energy personal blaster in her hands, and his open backpack at her feet. She wasn't crying, but her eyes were going back and forth from the gun to the cooling body with a look of uncertainty on her face. "I...I didn't..." she stuttered out, then looked at the floor in disappointment. "I did something bad again Dipper, and I don't know if I'm feeling remorse for it. He, it, that... that guy didn't deserve that."
Dipper crossed the floor to but a comforting hand on her shoulder, but was struggling with what to say. "Well, yeah, I mean... I agree that guy wasn't bad, just tricked, but you saved my life, and probably Grunkle Ford's as well, not to mention everyone living on all those planets!"
She looked up at Dipper, and a comforted expression came across her face. "Yeah, I guess it was a good thing then..." Pacifica abruptly looked horrified and tossed away the gun away in self disgust. "Wait, no, that's a terrible thing to say! I've killed a living thing!"
For his part, Dipper pulled his hat over his eyes and was quietly cursing his lack of a way with words. "I didn't mean it like that! I mean, you did do something terrible, no that makes me sound like a jerk! I mean, it was bad but it was also... necessary?" Both were left to stew in their moral relativism until Grunkle Ford stormed in, Fast Return Switch in hand.
"Kids, we need to return now! I've reset the nanomachines to target this space station, and after consuming everything here they'll float in empty space until they run out of energy from having nothing to consume and shut down. A nice little self contained cleanup, but we need to get out of here now!"
"What about Bill?" Dipper asked.
"Lied about the still deadly bioattack, forced his host to commit suicide by crawling into a magnetic tube, has probably psychic jumped somewhere else in the multiverse." He explained, before noticing the dead alien on the floor. "I hoped it wouldn't come to that, but kinda expected it would. Now, grab on everyone!"
The three held onto the disk, and when the switch flipped, nothing happened right away, but slowly static electricity built up in the air before reality began to dissolve around them, and the last thing they felt was the deep earthquake like sensation of the station eating itself as they dissolved into the warm light of home.