5.

/induction/

It took no longer than a week for the government to announce that the initiative had failed, but despite not being able to reclaim Wall Maria, the food shortage had improved. Compensation was handed out like pamphlets to those who were hurting, and empty pats and hugs passed from one grieving, sleep deprived individual to another.

I tipped the bag of coins onto the barn floor – the result of Mother and Father's sacrifices on the battlefield. I piled the large copper coins to the left, and the smaller silvers to the right, clicking rhythmically against each other.

Five, ten, fifteen…

My heart sank, the weight of their lives were worth a mere total of $86.50. Sure, life insurance didn't exist back then, but even this was a little dehumanizing. It was worth about three weeks of food- four, if I was a little more conservative.

I purchased a beige blouse, and a simple strapped brown dress to wear it under. The rest of the money was kept carefully in a hidden pocket sewn onto the inside of my blouse, in case everything just went to shit (which, not surprisingly, happened quite often in the Shingeki no Kyojin universe).

Of course slaughtering a quarter of a million people would improve the food shortage drastically. But that wasn't the only change. The government wanted normalcy and normalcy right away. People were being shunted left and right into fields that they had only inklings of knowledge about, and if nothing, they were sent back to work the thawing plots of earth. Doors were opened to orphaned children up to the age of 8. The age to attend military training decreased from 15 to 12. Structure to society was being recovered at an obnoxiously rapid pace, but the people were still hurting inside.

Unsurprisingly, I was sent into healthcare.

Though, I have to admit, I never expected to be sent to the pregnancy ward. Pregnancy rates were on the rise after the area inside Wall Rose was declared safe, nurses and pregnancy midwifes alike were in high demand across town.

"UP, UP, UP!" Rina roared. Rina was our head midwife. She managed the nurses in the pregnancy ward in the southern part of town. We were located in the middle of town, easily accessible and far away from the civilians turning and shifting the earth for crops. I hadn't seen Eren in a long time now. Rina was a sizeably large woman, sporting a head of dirty black frizz contained just barely in a thin rat-tail like plait. In the 24 hours since I'd been admitted into the ward, I'd never once see her smile; her face had been set permanently into that of an annoyed scowl.

I rubbed my eyes blearily and squinted miserably at the ceiling. The crackling torch cast eerie dancing shadows across the walls. Babies had no respect for time in the day. They announced their entrance into the world at all times, whether it be the wee hours in the morning or during a mid afternoon slump. They demanded attention and cried. Typically, they were baby-sized miracles and blessings to mankind, and represented life. But in a world caged by walls and threatened by human thirsting monsters? I wasn't so sure.

"I said, get UP! It's morning!" Rina's voice was dangerously close to my ears as she walked around the dorm, stripping the blankets off the still sleeping nurses as they curled around their pillow, trying to sneak in a few more seconds of sleep.

Instantly, I sat up, dazedly waiting for the rest of my brain as it tried to catch up with my sudden movement. I peered outside the window, feeling my brain slowly clear itself of the sleepy fog. It was dark out, the stars still twinkling in the sky, and moon uncovered by the shifting grey clouds.

"You've been rostered roles, now go! It's a new day!"

There was a brief grumble, before Rina silenced them and the nurses got to work. I ran my hands throughout my messy hair, slipped on my shoes, and made a start towards the schedule stuck up on the plaster walls.

"Oh, no, no, newbie, where are you going?" Rina made a grab for my shoulder. "You're coming with me."

Rina handed me a torch, topped with combustible material, and led me towards the backroom. A trapdoor lay hidden underneath the mat. Though, it wasn't concealed in a way such that it was meant to be hidden, it just seemed like a layer of protection. Like how one would organise needles in an enclosed sewing box.

"This way." She bent her slightly humped back, lifted the brass handle of the trapdoor and stepped into the dark, ominous hole in the ground.

I tentatively pressed my right foot onto the step she was standing on and followed her down, keeping close. The design reminded me of the entrance to Grisha's basement, quite standard. I shivered, rubbing my arm for some warmth, suddenly aware of the sharp temperature difference between upper and lower ground.

We walked down for some time, the stairs twisted and broken in some places, but nevertheless still sturdy. Rina stopped, putting her torch in a metal ring holder, allowing the torch to cast its light throughout the large underground warehouse.

"Wow," I gasped, voice echoing coolly, bouncing vacantly off the uneven surfaces. "This is really impressive." I squinted at the rows upon rows of baskets and glass jars. Was that equipment set up for experimentation? It looked like an early version of a distillation setup, complete with a condenser, strung together with metal clips. Quite, advanced, I noted.

Though, I had heard that the closer you lived to the King, the better equipment you had access to. A small town like Shiganshina, or one of the villages that Sasha and Connie had lived in, would have had no chance of having the education to operate them.

"Is this eucalyptus?" I brought the torch closer to the basket to have a look at the shape of the leaf. I plucked a leaf off the branch, crushed it between my thumb and index finger and inhaled. Definitely eucalyptus.

"Careful with your torch." Rina warned.

"And this?" I eyed the dark grey flowers, "Dried lavender?" I held the wilting flower closer to my eyes and brought the flame closer.

"I said, careful, with your torch!" Rina raised her voice, grabbing my torch from my hands and depositing it in another metal ring holder nearby. "It definitely won't be the first time a laboratory like this has been burnt down to the ground – I mean, underground- because of some careless punk."

She sighed and brushed her hands off the back of her pants.

"Sorry."

"Look, you're not terrible. Clearly handled some stuff like this before." She tossed me a plastic poncho like lab coat and goggles that looked eerily similar to the ones Hanji wore. I caught them with both hands.

"I've had nurses lie about what they can do on their applications." She fastened her goggles to her head in one tight, fluid knot and ran her hands in a pitiful attempt to smooth her gravity defying hair down behind the goggle straps. She failed spectacularly.

"But you can put what you know on the back burner for now. Cos you're about to learn how to knock people out." She continued.

Anesthesia? I thought.

Rina carefully picked up the stem of a red flower I had never seen before. She seemed to be holding the flower at an arms' length away from her. Peering at it, I noticed the flower had a worrying black ring within the blood red colour of the petals. Everything about it screamed danger.

"You ready?"

I spent an equal amount of time upstairs and downstairs.

Downstairs, I familiarised myself with deadly flowers, the notorious dogbane and nightshade. I had my mask on at all times, increasing and decreasing its concentration depending on its use. One whiff could render you unconscious. I tinkered with the distillation tube and physically tipped water into the condenser to cool down the vapours.

Upstairs, I touched up on my first aid skills. Mothers bled and choked up in pain and fear, and I was there, along with the other nurses to ease their discomforts. We administered pain relief and gave them back massages in hot wooden baths. We worked hard as a team, helping expectant mothers deliver their babies, but the sporadic deaths still caught us off guard. The risk of infection was just too high; our sedatives were just too strong, or not strong enough.

But today, I spent my time watching my first c-section surgery with Rina, or that's what they called it in my world. She was a miracle worker in the field of surgery, where her sharp, beady eyes and experienced fingers stitched together the small wonders of a new life.

She scrubbed her hands vigorously with soap and hot water, but that was about all this world could offer. No sterilization, no antibiotics, no epidurals. Scissors were dipped into hot water, and the thread was kept clean.

"Can I do one?" I hesitantly asked from the side.

"Here." Rina passed me the needle without as much as a glance.

"Loop it up through here," She instructed me, "And around." She watched my movements with agonizing detail, taking in every strain of my clumsy fingers. "Now pull."

I pulled the knot through.

"Tighter."

I pulled it a little tighter.

Rina sighed and took the needle from my hands, and gave the knot a measured, but strong tug.

"Not bad for a first try."

"Thanks." I replied, meekly stepping back to the side of the bed.

Four hours into the surgery, Rina had cut the baby successfully out of the mother's womb and sewed it back together. I wrapped the baby in a warm, fluffy towel and cradled it, patting its back. Soon enough, it started to wail, its cries rocking the walls of the small surgical room. Good, I thought, it was breathing.

I placed it gently in the round curve of the measuring scales. 3.2 kilograms. Normal. I noted.

"And now," Rina wiped the sweat beaded on her forehead, "We wait for her to wake up." Rina gestured towards the mother, before turning to the sink to rinse her bloodied hands.

"For how long?" I asked, slowly rocking the baby in my arms.

"Who knows?"

I raised a brow at her comment.

"That's the problem with sedatives." Rina shook her hands, water droplets spilling onto the floor. "I'd give her at least another hour, but really, I haven't done enough trial runs to be sure. At least it's better than what we used to do."

I really did not want to know what they used to do.

I turned my eyes back down to the baby in my arms. Another life, another future, another hope. I wondered what this little baby boy would get up to in this world. Its eyes were mere slits, peering into the great unknown. I watched him grab lightly at the towel, absolutely mesmerised. This was how I had entered the world, and it was the first time I had seen another being born in this moment of exquisite pain and relief. I wonder if-

"Elizabeth!" Rina snapped me out of my daze. "Bed 9 needs assistance."

"Oh!" I looked around frantically, placing the baby softly into the arms of a nurse which had just scrubbed into the surgical room. "I got it!" I said, and started to rush over.

"No, you haven't." Rina retorted from behind me. "I'm coming with you."

Ah, that made much more sense.

"Rina," I stepped into her small office. "I'm turning 12 today –"

"Happy birthday, Elizabeth." She interrupted. "If you're looking for a pay rise –"

"I'm turning 12 today, and," I swallowed. Rina looked as impassive as ever. "So, I was thinking of resigning from the pregnancy ward and I just wanted to say thank you for being so patient with me and for teaching me so much about–" I was rambling and I knew it. Three sentences in and I had already more or less forgotten the speech I had written the night before.

Rina pulled out a piece of paper from her wooden drawer. "Here." She folded it in half and handed it to me, along with a small satchel of coins. Last pay check. "The best medics are forged from being thrown into the pits of hell." She paused as if unsure whether or not to continue. "The military will be lucky to have you, so just do what you do best, practice medicine and give the titans hell."

I was at a loss for words. "How did you know?" I asked.

"Here!" She deadpanned, uncomfortable with the drawn out display of gratitude. "On your application from a year ago, under this box," Rina pointed at my neat handwriting, which had deteriorated much since then.

"Will there be anything stopping you from working the full contract of three years, and," Rina read aloud, tracing my words with her brown, cracked fingertips, "You wrote that you would be enlisting."

"Oh, right." I nodded and lowered my eyes to the ground. "Right."

"Thank you, Rina." I smiled. "Oh and," I handed her the bottle of wine I had purchased from a street vendor, tied superfluously with a giant red ribbon, "This is for you."

Her eyebrows shot up, I wasn't sure whether from shock or gratitude, and wait, did she even drink?

"No, thank you." She said, taking my gift into her hands.

Was that a hint of a smile I saw?

"We now begin the Enlistment Ceremony for the 104th Trainee Corps!"

I stood upright, shoulders squared and combat boots planted into the dirt. I held both of my hands loosely to the small of my back. The speech was familiar to me, I remembered it being significant, because as much as it was demoralising, it was also inspirational. With a slight frown, my eyes combed the backs of rows and rows of cadets standing before Keith Shadis. How many would be left after the brutal training? How many would be left after the Battle of Trost?

In more ways than one, I was still at square one. Nothing much had changed, besides the upgrading of my medical skills and possibly accidentally upsetting Eren a little more than necessary. Things weren't exactly moving along at the pace at which I wanted, but perhaps, my grandiose idea of saving lives, preventing catastrophes and creating change was a little too much. Staying alive was hard enough. Reduce goal to saving the main cast? Reduce goal to protect Commander Erwin from getting his arm bitten off? Reduce goal to trigger Eren's transformation into a titan earlier? Reduce goal to revealing myself and my secrets and not be thrown into a mental asylum, in that order?

I didn't know.

If Eren hadn't transformed in that moment in the battle of Trost, and if Armin hadn't come up with the idea of blocking the gate with the huge boulder, Eren may not have had Dot Pixis on his side, rallying the people for the support of a monster within a human. If Eren hadn't transformed in that moment, it may have cost him his life.

There were too many events that triggered others as well. If one didn't happen, I doubted another would have. If Eren's mother hadn't been eaten alive in front of him, would he have possessed the mental anguish and thoughts of hatred, so deeply rooted in him, to fight for his freedom and revenge? If Annie hadn't appeared as the female titan and slaughtered the majority of survey corps soldiers on the 57th Expedition outside the Walls, would Armin have had enough evidence to deduce that she, along with Reiner and Bertholdt were titan shifters?

But if I just came out and said it? With little to no evidence to back up my claims?

There were too many, "if, so" situations that stopped me from running rampant in this timeline. Another issue had recently come to mind, the fact that I had only watched the anime up until the end of Season 2. I had half-heartedly watched the last two episodes of Season 3 when I was 21, a little too old to really enjoy the show. Historia became Queen, something about a purple, liquid filled syringe, was all that I really remembered. I shook my head, irritated with my dissipating memories. Which begged the question, what happened afterwards? Even if I followed canon, it still lead to an inconclusive end.

Do what you do best. Rina's advice echoed.

The truth was, the only person I could really change was myself. I had to believe in myself, and the skills I had acquired, and believe that what I was doing was right. I had to believe in the humanity I still possessed.

"I am Keith Shadis, and I had the misfortune to be assigned to train you bastards. I'm not here to welcome you at all! Right now, you're nothing but titan food! No, less than cattle!"

I spotted Mikasa right away; she was one of the few cadets with jet black hair. She stood tall next to Eren. Ah, of course she would be standing right next to him - meaning that Armin wouldn't be too far away either. They had grown significantly in the two long years I hadn't seen them. They were a good head taller, and their hands showed clear signs of wear and tear, probably from the time they had spent on the farm.

"In three years, we'll take you worthless pieces of crap and train you! Give you the means to fight the titans."

I turned my head to the right. Was that Marco standing next to Jean? His face was a little rounder than I remembered it to be, but he still looked ever so kind with his goofy, freckled smile. He was taller and lankier than the other cadets but he still managed to sport the angular uniform proudly; I think the word for it was dorky.

"In three Years, when you stand before a titan, will you still be food? Or will you be a noble wall, shielding the King? Or perhaps, one of humanity's glorious soldiers that slay titans? You will decide!"

But not as tall as Bertholdt. He was standing even further right, next to a bulky looking Reiner. He was easily over 165cm, which was awfully tall for a 12 or 13 year old. Of course he was, he was the Colossal Titan after all. I couldn't figure out how they could look so determined and not at all remorseful after murdering thousands of innocent civilians.

"YOU!" Commander Shadis barked. I snapped my head forward to look at Commander Shadis.

"Yes, sir!" I brought my right fist to my chest in a tight salute and squinted up at him.

"Pay attention!" He blocked the rays of the sun with his tall figure, weathered eyes shadowed with condescending fury. "Brown haired piece of shit!"

From the corner of my eye, I spotted Sasha intensely take a large bite out of her boiled potato. The mashed crumbs stuck around her lips and fell onto her military jacket. With an absent minded swipe, she brought the crumbs back to her mouth and licked it off her fingers.

The corners of my lips involuntarily quirked up at the sight.

"Oi, oi, oi, cadet! The hell are you smiling at?!" Shadis's voice grew low and menacing as he bent down, his eyes mere inches from mine. He looked terrifying, whether he was 100 yards away, or, well, 2 centimetres away from my nose.

He eventually followed my gaze and turned to see Sasha staring intently at the stadium, potato in hand, steam still emanating from it. A slight breeze brought the wafting smell of boiled potato to my nose. All the cadets had more or less turned around to witness the spectacle, jaw dropped. Only Sasha herself seemed oblivious to their stares.

"Hey. Fucker."

Sasha's eyes darted from left to right, before she audibly gulped and went in to take another bite.

"What the fuck are you doing?!"

.

.

.

Things were looking up.

A/N: chapter 5 is up! this chapter was truly a nightmare to write, i probably spent more time on this than the past four chapters combined. please review! i'd love to hear your thoughts. also a shoutout to my guest reviewer whirl! honestly such a thought provoking review :)

another question, i've been thinking of changing the summary for my story to "The rippling effect of reincarnation is undeniable. Fortunately for Elizabeth, her greatest strength lies within her foresight and her fascination with medicine. Lives will be transformed and saved and lost, but unfortunately, fate is a cruel mistress." thoughts?

until next time!