Enigma Fenn (13) Victor of the 22nd Games
When I got back to One after the whole Tour, I was quite a changed girl from when I had gone into the Games. I had learned fear and terror, and had almost peed my pants due to it. I had learned just how hard real plans were to make, and just how easily they could fail if the outside world didn't support them. I thought the Games were going to be a piece of cake. I could get in and get out. But it turned out that they would force anyone who went into them to grow, whether or not they thought they needed it.
One's opinions on me were mixed. Some people were mad that I killed Tiger, while some were mad that I fought dirty. Some just thought it was cool that a thirteen-year-old won, and some respected how much I poured into the Games in order to win. I found a fight and twisted it my way, time after time, and that could be cowardly or brave, depending on your point of view. I didn't care about everyone's response, though, no matter how hard they tried to make me. They weren't in the Arena, making split-second decisions instead of being able to plan. They weren't fighting for their lives. They were judging someone who was just trying to survive.
I wouldn't have cared about One's opinion of me even if I hadn't been judging them twice as hard as they were trying to judge me. I had always stuck to myself before the Games, and I saw no reason for that to change. I didn't have to be some charitable Victor, helping the young and poor. We had other Victors for that, and no one in One needed much help. I could go home and take care of the only people I really cared about, trying to fix whatever problems I had never been able to.
My mom and my sister didn't judge me for the Games. They didn't seem to know anything about them. I expected as much from my mother. She probably never knew I left. My sister, however, must have been actively avoiding the television to not have seen what I went through. It was broadcast everywhere, yet she didn't know about it. Or she was just pretending not to know so I didn't feel bad. Lulia could watch her own tells quite well, well enough to hide her secrets from me. It was a skill few people had.
Life as a Victor wasn't very different for me compared to life before the Games, except a newfound internal dialogue. People talked to me some and I replied some. I still went to school, though I didn't make many friends. I thought sometimes about Tiger, but I tried to avoid it. I was suppressing the thoughts that I should have been getting therapy for. I just didn't want to pay for two types of therapy at once, and I could finally afford the thing I had trained so long in order to achieve.
Every week, Tuesdays and Thursdays, Mom went to therapy for her schizophrenia. The Capitol didn't want to fix it entirely, saying it made me stick out, but they'd let me make her less severe, and less severe, until my mom was lucid more often than not. Little by little, I was using one of my goals to achieve another. It made sense.
After all, I was Enigma Fenn. Death itself couldn't hope to stop me.
And here we close another story. Enigma was a fun ride all the way, and now she has her rightful spot in the Victor's Village. You're welcome, Spark.