Chapter 12

The God in the Womb

Everything must come to an end, even the end itself.

When I look back….

I see only failure….

I could only cry and lay waste everything which brought sorrow and sadness to me….

But what about the one thing which causes my greatest grief?

What do I do about myself?

I am a monster…a monster that harms itself and others…..

And more or less, I can't even come to hate myself.

Because…..

This is…..

My love for Zero will never falter.

I love you so much Zero.

Zero…..I miss you so much….

Zero…

Zero….

Zero…..

Please…..

Help me…..

Please help me!

Somebody…..

Please….kill me …..

Before I am reborn…..

XXX

"Zzzzz" Mikhail who was lazily sleeping, was using Auburn's lap as a pillow, while said woman, gently stroke his head and cheek.

Auburn smiled in a motherly way, as she looked down, at the dragon she let resting on her legs.

"He looks like an angel." She softly spoke.

But….

"And yet, he is a creature that should bring demise to every living being." The harmonic atmosphere was shattered by Dusk, who was sipping a drink, while standing in front of them and looking at them.

The doctor scowled and huffed "Must you spoil everything?"

The vixen shrugged nonchalantly and finished her drink "You started it, by calling him an angel. Did you actually forget that angels are the bad guys, from where he is coming?"

Auburn closed her eyes and pursed her lips. Seeing that she couldn't go around a discussion, she gently grabbed Mikhail's head, raised it slightly and put it on the sofa.

As she made sure, that Mikhail was comfortably resting on it, she turned around and signalized her best friend, by pointing her head at the balcony, and began a discussion.

XXX

"So," the doctor began "Let's talk, grumpy cat."

"I am a….*sigh* good."

Auburn nodded in satisfaction and crossed her arm under her bosom "What's the matter, you're more 'grumpy' than always."

The vixen glared "I am certainly not," Seeing that raised brow on her friend, caused Dusk to sigh again. She walked towards the balustrade and leaned on it "I…I allowed him to make his final exam…."

Hearing this caused Auburn to widen her eyes for a moment, and then she looked down "I….understand…" Then she looked back at her friend "Shouldn't…shouldn't you be happy?"

Yet when she saw Dusk glaring at her, her eyes wide and full of tears, her heart almost skipped a beat.

"Of course not!" Wincing at the shout of Dusk, whose face was wet through the lacrimal drops she felt a throat thicken "I don't want him to go." She clenched her teeth and swung her fists, which were already white "I don't want him to go, to this insane world!" As she couldn't muster any strength in her legs, Dusk collapsed on her legs and sobbed "I…don't want him to go, I don't want him to walk a path he was forced to!" Her shoulders began to tremble "Everytime he asks for his mother, every time his hope is crushed by my words…..I just can't see him to suffer anymore." She couldn't bear it anymore. No matter how much Mikhail tried to deny it, his soul was already covered in more scars than one could imagine. And every one of them, even the smallest, hurt him more than anything.

"Dusk…..He has the right to decide which path he wants to walk."

Hearing these words, made Dusk angry, no furious "Are you saying you don't feel any pity, any remorse, or sorrow for him? Are you!?" Then she looked up at her friend, but what the vixen saw, caused even her to widen her eyes.

Auburn began to cry as well "No!" She shouted, furious and angry at her best friends biased words. Then she grabbed the faunus collar and glared with teary eyes at her "Do you really think, you are the only one who doesn't want to him to go!? Do you really think you are the only one, who doesn't love him like his own flesh and blood!?" She shook the faunus back and forth "Every time he is in pain, every time he has a seizure through this god damn plant and every time I hear him crying in his sleep and seeing him curled up in fear, does only hurt you!?" As Auburn couldn't as well muster any strength anymore, she collapsed and fell with her head on Dusk chest who was literally frozen through shock "I…I don't want him to go. I want him to live a life well lived….A life were he doesn't need to kill anymore…..Where he could live his short life…life ah…Kugh…ah!"

The night was full of wailing of two mothers, while cursing the world….

The world…..

The entire night, Dusk and Auburn cried for Mikhail….

XXX

While they thought, Mikhail was asleep, which he wasn't, he heard every word…..

"Ggh.." As tears formed and flowed from his cheeks, he curled himself up, apologizing to the people he made sad and caused them to cry…..

XXX

Sometimes things happen, that should never mean to happen…

And sometimes, we have to do things; we never want to do…..

And more often, we are forced to become, what we always fought and despised…..

XXX

One month later

"Begin!"

"Yes, Master!" Mikhail turned the paper, which was in front of him around and began to write on it.

Meanwhile Dusk and Auburn looked at him with scrutinizing eye at him.

'He is calm and serene as water.' Thought Dusk, as she observed her pupil and adopted son.

Even though many things happened within this month, she didn't think one second about breaking her promise with the dragon. While she felt bitter and nervous, Dusk cherished the rest of her time, with the boy in front of her.

Next to her was Auburn. She took a day off from her work, since no one was being needed to be treated and was more or less nervous for Mikhail.

She was torn apart. The doctor wanted him to stay, but at the same time, she wanted him to live a life to his own.

A life where he could make his own decisions and errors how he wanted. Finding more friends, places he can visit and so much more…..

Even love….having children, building a family…..Even if it isn't possible for someone like him.

XXX

Three hours later

"You passed."

"What?"

"I said you passed." Dusk sighed as she handed test to Mikhail, who looked like a statue, hearing her words "Here, congratulation."

Still frozen, he blinked and looked down at his test. Then his eyes wandered back to Dusk, who smiled at him with pride walked over to him and engulfed him in a big hug.

XXX

Sometimes I think back then, when I was there.

How happy I was…

But now, I understood…..

It was a LIE!

Everything I have accomplished vanished.

Everyone is gone!

All of them are gone!

And with them, myself.

Mikhail died…..

And from his corpse, I was born….

One's demise is always one's own making.

And the moment, I was brought to Kusanagi, their fate was already sealed….

When I redeemed myself, from the innocence….

Ah….I forgot… it's the greatest lie in the world.

XXX

One week later

"Auburn?" Dusk came down from the stairs, looking for Mikhail, who wasn't in his room or in the Workshop. Since Auburn was here as well, since she stayed the night, she called to her friend out.

"Yes?" The doctor answered from the kitchen.

"Do you know where Mikhail is?"

Auburn went out from the kitchen, drying her hands with a towel "He is playing with the children."

"Again?"

She shrugged "Dusk, he is in their age, besides," Auburn looked away "It is there last time, with the little ones."

Dusk pursed her lips "Yeah…"

XXX

"Higher, Mikhail, higher!" A little boy, not older than six years old, with messy black hair and blue eyes, chirped as he was on Mikhail's shoulders.

"Okay Ventus, but this is the last time, got it?"

Ventus nodded with a big smile and shouted in joy, as Mikhail jumped up, really high, and landed softly on the ground.

While they landed, they were immediately surrounded by other children, who cried in joy.

"I want to go next!"

"NO ME!"

"Hey I am first!"

Laughing, Mikhail raised his hands and calmed the children down "Wow, calm down kids."

"Okay!"

He nodded, normally the children would protest or pout, but since they really liked Mikhail, they were obeying him swiftly.

Dusk and Auburn always teased him that children would rather hear to other children.

"I know, I promised you guys, that I would play with all of you, but it is already late," He then tilted his head to the sky, the sun was already half down "And besides, tomorrow is a big day."

When he mentioned that, the kids became quite, some had a sad.

He sighed; this will take some time…..

XXX

The sky was grey, yet no rain, the sun didn't shine one bit. The air was heavy, as if the world was steeling itself for something it wasn't even ready to face.

These were the thoughts of Dusk, as she looked through the window of her room.

Her eyes were dark and slightly saggy. In the past days, the vixen didn't really sleep peacefully. Her worries took almost over, every thought in the last days.

And who could deny her worries.

Mikhail was leaving the village…..

Her pupil, friend and yes over the years, he even became family to her. She loved him, like her own flesh and blood.

Dusk couldn't deny her motherly feelings for Mikhail, since she was also a fox faunus, these feelings slash instincts were natural for the faunus.

Her thoughts were interrupted, when she heard someone knocking on her door.

"Master, may I come in?"

It was Mikhail. He was ordered to come to her room, when he was done packing.

Dusk sighed wistfully and tried as best as she could to vanish the solemn look on her face.

"You may come in."

Mikhail opened the door. Right now, he wore a simple black t-shirt with a v-cut, black pants and a white sweatshirt.

The dragon bowed before entering and closed the door behind him. He then turned around and began to eye the room.

"Jeez," He sighed "This is probably the last time I see this room, and I already regret leaving you, Master."

This caused Dusk to chuckle. Well he wasn't wrong. Dusk was many things, punctual, honest and diligent but unfortunately she was blowzy in the section of order. Everytime Mikhail comes back home, her clothes or tools were scattered all over the entire house and shop.

Auburn gave up, changing her, yet she was quite happy when Mikhail took over her second job, to tidy up Dusk's home.

The vixen's face began to turn red and she glared at her student "Mind your words young man!"

Taking her scolding easily, Mikhail sighed with closed eyes and shook his head "You know, I'm already worried about you, being away, you probably return into your old habits, Master."

Becoming even redder, Dusk twitched and hammered her hands on the table "I will not, turn into old habits." She huffed "Besides, I will quite have more free time, since you are going away."

Now looking at her with eyes of disbelief, Mikhail crossed his arms "Oh yes, since you were always tasking me for maintains, reparation, forging, smith works and cleaning, you will have quite your hands full.

"Guh!" Now finally realizing how much work, she has burden Mikhail with, Dusk could only smile wryly at her boy, her ears and tail were twitching now and then.

Seeing how nervous she was Mikhail cocked an brow "Master….you didn't realize how much comfortable everything became since I began to live here, do you?"

"Y-yes?"

He snorted, receiving a screwdriver into his eye.

XXX

"Master, please be careful, this is my last good eye."

Dusk huffed "Shut up, besides, you can regenerate it."

Well this was true…..

Mikhail growled "That doesn't mean that you could gouge it out, only because you are embarrassed."

Promptly the vixen shot him a glare, causing him to shut up and making a zip motion on his mouth.

As the glare faded, Dusk sighed and put a hand on her forehead, and then she murmured something "I will miss this…."

"Master?"

Broken out of her stupor Dusk shook her head and turned to the dragon, which titled his head in confusion.

'Idiot, I know that you have an excellent hearing…..but thanks for ignoring…..' She then smiled a bit, being happy, that Mikhail ignored her murmuring, and then she continued "Mikhail I called you out because I want to give you something."

The young dragon perked up, hearing about a gift….yet he felt some bitterness, since it was a departure gift.

Dusk turned around, kneeled and took something from a secret stash on the floor. When she got up, Mikhail's eyes widened.

It was a katana or rather it was an uchigatana.

Even though it was sheathed, Mikhail could tell, that the blade was 80 cm long.

The guard was golden and oval, and the tsuka-ito seems to be braided from white and black material. The blade features several intricate ornaments; most notable was a relief of a dragon at the endpoint of the hilt. The scabbard was completely white and metallic, yet it was beautifully crafted. The scabbard featured several ornaments on its far end, which were bright red, like a mix of flowers and flames. She drew it, and his eye widened promptly. The blade was completely black. Not even traces of forging were to seen on the weapon. The obsidian-like blade looked like, as it was literally chiseled from the material it was made from. But not only this…

'This weapon was made through magic….' He then looked at Dusk, his lips pursed hoping for an answer "…Master since when did you have such a weapon?"

She smiled and put it back twirling it "Since I went to Haven Academy….." Dusk noticed that Mikhail's eyes were literally sparkling. The vixen mused at her apprentice's child-like behavior.

Her smile became coy and then "You like it?"

"Yes, of course!"

"Good," She then moved it to him "It's yours now."

"Ha?"

Of course…..The faunus smile became coyly at the dragon's stupid look.

"Don't 'ha' me, here it's yours." She then threw the weapon at him.

Catching it with an firm grip, Mikhail raised an brow "Master," His gaze became fierce and he narrowed his eyes "Some context please?"

She smiled 'As expected….' The vixen shrugged "It's my family's heirloom, you can have it."

Hearing this declaration caused Mikhail to blink owlishly. His eyes wandered to the weapon in his hand and then back to Dusk "More context….or rather, why are you giving me your family's heirloom…" He gripped the weapon tighter "This….I…."

"You know why…"

Suddenly the atmosphere became heavier than before…

"Because you're this kind of Faunus…."

As on cue, Dusk smiled again….but unfortunately it was a sad one.

Over-Faunus….a term for Faunus, with more than one feature…..Dusk has a second pair of ears and a tail.

Such Faunus, were incredibly rare, to the point, were only a dozen of them in Remnant.

Through a genetic mutation, caused by constantly breeding with the same species of Faunus, in Dusk's case, where she only had fox faunus in her family, it can happen, but only in rare cases, as well.

Those Faunus, are born with more than one feature, of their animal counterpart…

But unfortunately through this mutation, those Faunus were unable to produce offspring, making them sterile….

And in Dusk's case….she was the last one of her family…..

Her bloodline would end with her….

"Master….I don't know what to say….." He became mute, as he was suddenly hugged by Dusk…..tightly…

"Just…." Her voice was becoming hoarse "Just stay safe and write now and day."

Appreciating the hug and returning it, Mikhail promised "I promise."

XXX

Later….

"Are you really sure, you want to go like this?" Auburn together with Dusk stood in front of Mikhail who had the sword on his waist and a bag over his shoulders.

There were outside the village, and the sun was on the verge to rise.

"Nah…" The dragon shrugged "I rather go without much drama, this better, really better.

Auburn sighed, a bitter smile formed on her face as she grabbed her arm "You know, you are always free to drop by." Then she moved forward, engulfing him in a big hug, which he returned, too.

"Yeah." He then felt a kiss on his cheek and was again hugged by the doctor "I will write as often as I can.

Dusk nodded "Of course," Then she pointed at her heirloom "Also don't forget to give it a name; it brings great misfortune to fight with a nameless weapon, in Remnant."

"Got it!" He gave thumbs up and took a big breath, turning to the village.

He will miss it. The smell of the village, the food, the people. To feel the wind on his face, while lying on the green grass, watching the clouds while also humming a melody.

Or to play with the children he always took care of or the smell of alcohol of the inns and the laughter of his friends.

"This village has been my home for years….." A single tear escaped from his eye and he turned to Dusk who had a solemn smile on her face "Thank you for everything, Master…no…Mother." He felt torn apart….

Even though Zero was more or likely his mother, he couldn't stop his feelings for Dusk. She was everything Zero wasn't…..

A mother, a friend…..Someone who could laugh with, cry, play and chat….

Yet the he felt betrayal for calling it her…But…..

Mikhail and Dusk moved at the same time and Dusk began to cry "I will miss you so much, please be careful and come back soon. I also promise to tidy up every mess I caused."

XXX

As Mikhail walked on the way out, he turned a last time back, looking at Kusanagi…..

A smile formed on his face as he could see his home, being engulfed in the light of the sun….

But quick as it appeared the smile disappeared and a scowl formed….and then…

"Buwaahh!" Mikhail suddenly puked, and it felt not comfortable. It hurt; it hurt so much he felt he would lose conscious the moment he began. The dragon felt pain like nothing before. His entire being burned and felt like it would melt any seconds.

After 3 three minutes of constantly chucking up, the urge to throw up stopped and he cleaned his mouth.

"Blood…." On Mikhail hand was some of the crimson liquid, he puked out together with the other contents of his stomach "It's getting worse…." He sighed and saw what happened with the area his blood contaminated. All plants and insects began to turn white, like ash, and dissolved…

The dragon smiled and caressed his covered flower-socket "You're quite tenacious, huh?" He then felt some movement in it and chuckled "I must find Zero." Then he continued to walk "I hope she has still her sword….." Mikhail then clenched his fist "I am sorry, Dusk, Auburn, everyone, but I will not come back….."

With every years passing, the pain never went away, no it became worse…

Constantly living with this horrible pain would have made him insane….no he was already on the brink to become crazy.

This torture was so painful that he tried to kill himself several times.

Every time Mikhail was away from the village he tried to commit suicide….

Regardless of Zero…..He just….He just couldn't endure this anymore….

Drowning, freezing himself, beating himself up, beheading himself, hanging himself, burning himself, breaking every bone, snapping his neck, blowing himself up, destroying his brain, throwing himself into a lava and even into aggressive acid…..letting himself torn apart from Grimms and wild animals, who died through the toxic flesh and blood of his body. He even went to the deepest part of the lake in Kusanagi….and drowned himself.

Yet no matter how much his flesh and bone were crushed or his entire being turned into nothing but a gibbering mess, he regenerated, every time…..and turned stronger….

Nothing helped…..

Every day that passed since his fight with the Grimm, the pain and hallucinations and bad dreams was pure torture…

He lied; he lied the entire time…..Did he felt bad, no. He knew that it was cowardly and dastard to hide the truth, but what choice did he have? Living in Kusanagi, until he turns into something atrocious? Or he turns frenzy and kills everyone and lures even more powerful Grimm close to humans and Faunus? Many sleepless nights, through the pain and nightmares, were used to think how he should proceed with his life. Yet nothing helped. For a dragon, his own life was more valuable than everything, since they didn't have any sexes to produce offspring. But Mikhail didn't care, he was tired and distressed. So many things went through his head and so many things were tried out, besides killing himself. Even using a weapon made from his tissue and bones didn't help to end his accursed existence.

In the end Mikhail gave up and continued to stick with his first plan…..Finding Zero and using her dragon bone weapon…So that he could finally die….

That he is finally free from his torment…..

All this pain, all this hell, he couldn't endure it anymore…..

Mikhail just wanted to die…He wanted to end his life for good before he turns frenzy from the pain…..Or worse he when the Flower would bloom and resurrect him….

XXX

A week later

A week passed since Mikhail left the village and honestly he felt a little bit better. Maybe it was the fresh air or the smell of nature and the wind but he also felt free. No obligation to others only making his own thing.

Sure it was maybe selfish, but at the same time he felt relieved being in solitude, so that he could harm no one if the pain was too excruciating and he turned frenzy.

Yet so much of being alone…..

The young dragon stopped in his tracks and sighed in frustration "You guys can come out."

As on cue, he heard rustling coming from the woods, which engulfed him, and from the dark of trunks emerged four people.

The young dragon's eyes widened, yet his posture didn't falter, his breathing was calm and he didn't even move one muscle.

'Humans…..wearing….Grimm Mask?' His slit-iris narrowed and his nostrils flared 'Those guys are no pushovers and more….' He looked at their weapons.

The two in front of him were male. The left one wore a Borbatusk mask and was already middle-aged, while the one besides him wore an Ursa mask. He was smaller and smelled like the older one besides him. They even had the same dark hair. Probably father and son.

The father had a gun-sword in his hand, model scimitar, while the son had two gun blades with long grips in his hands.

'Double-blade-spear….' It took him only one glance to know about that weapon 'Putting the grips together, they probably extend…'

Mikhail didn't move, using his sharp eye and enhanced peripheral vision to observe the ones behind.

The one left behind him was female, mid-twenties, holding a kusaragi-gama with a jigsaw-weight in her hands, while the male, mid-twenties, too, had a double-edged greatsword resting on his shoulder.

The female had a black and white Taijitu-mask while the man wore a Beringel mask.

'Those guys…..' Mikhail's eye began to glow and yet his breathing became calmer 'They smell like blood.'

Cracking his neck, using it to make them flinch, Mikhail began to spoke.

Yet making a sudden movement, didn't cause them to flinch, they were definitely professional fighter.

"You know," He sighed "I already noticed you since you began to tail me." The young dragon mused internally when he noticed the sudden glances between them, probably being astonished that he already noticed them from beginning "You could have introduced yourself to me," A pleasant smile crept on his face "I am always open to meet new people.

The man with the Borbatusk-mask spoke up "Well, technically we are for here for you," He pointed his gun-sword at Mikhail "Normally people would react," He twirled his hand "More hostile, forcing our hand," The blue eyes were visible through the mask and were now narrowed "And yet, we stand before you, with weapons ready and even though you know that we tailed you, you didn't react nor became aggressive."

Mikhail chuckled "Well, first," He raised his forefinger and waggled it "You guys probably knew that I am not human, so you tried as much as possible to have distance from me, not bad, but it didn't help."

Borbatusk-mask nodded "True."

"Second," He raised another finger "You didn't show any malicious intent towards me, nor you wanted to harm me….yet."

"Precisely."

Mikhail felt, the male behind him nodding, too.

"Third," Another finger "Yet you wanted to test me, how I would react." A coy smile followed "And from your actions, by showing yourself, I somehow behaved how you would like it," He formed a fist in mid-air "Don't I?"

The man snorted, before he could spoke up, he was yet halted by Mikhail.

"Besides," The host of the Flower tilted his hand to the boy in front of him "Junior should also learn something, doesn't he?"

Even though the reaction was small, he could feel the surprise of the masked people.

Then the young boy spoke up "How did you…." His eyes, under the mask, widened "Of course, Faunus."

"Well folks," The dragon shrugged "That's fine and dandy, but can anybody of you tell me why you are tailing me? Do you want to kill me or rob me….or both?" The air suddenly turned heavier and Mikhail was ready to fight, even though he didn't want to. The danger to kill and turn rabid, was too high.

The four people exchanged glances between them and then faced the dragon again.

Borbatusk spoke "No, on the contrary." He brandished his sword "We are here for you, lad. You will come with us."

Mikhail cocked a brow "Because?"

The woman behind him spoke up. Her voice was stern and yet calm "Because we are demanding it."

"Huh," Mikhail nodded and he then tapped his chin, moving his eyes to the side. It looked like he was thinking, but in truth he wasn't. After a second he answered with a shaking head and mocking grin that would even make Zero proud "Nah."

Another chapter hope you like it.

Questions? PM me!

Khan