Thank you to everyone who reviewed! I'm glad you're enjoying this story. I'll try to update it once a week. xo
"You "made an arrangement" and he's holding up his end of it. And you're the type who wants the world to be perfect but you're not willing to lift a finger to help it along. He's not the man you thought he'd be because the man you thought he'd be doesn't exist. This is what a good man looks like. So what if he drools a small pond? He takes care of you, doesn't he? He takes care of your mother, and he's handsome, and he's good. And at least he's fucking trying, which is a lot more than I can say for you."
A silence fell between Red, Healy, and his stunned wife Katya. Red had said all that she needed to say. Whether it had been right or wrong to voice, it had been the truth. She'd only been saying what she believed. Crossing her arms, she faced determinedly toward the door, her eyes raised towards the ceiling as she waited for retribution. Katya made a scornful noise as she turned to glare at Healy, and Red felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up.
"Umm…." Healy stammered, rising from the chair behind his desk. "I think-I guess it's getting pretty late and Katya and I, we should be heading home."
"So, can I go then?" Red demanded, whipping her head back to look at Healy. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Katya, sitting demurely in her chair with her head down, looking a little bit flustered.
"Yes, you can go," Healy dismissed her with a wave of his hand, though he seemed to have a hard time looking at her. "Have a goodnight, Red."
Red didn't bother replying. As soon as she could she was out the door of his office and walking down the hall. She brushed her hair back with her hand and sucked in her breath. She was quite certain that she had probably only made things worse between the husband and wife, but frankly it was Healy's fault for insisting on dragging her into their soap opera in the first place, as though she didn't have enough problems of her own. And maybe that was just it. Red didn't have the tolerance to listen to Katya's self-centered complaints when besides being bound to a man she couldn't stand, her life was easy and comfortable. What more did she expect when you married for a green card?
Red didn't judge her for those decisions, having no problem admitting that she and Dmitri had married for similar reasons. The opportunity to leave Russia and begin again in America had made becoming Dmitri's reluctant wife seem a worthwhile endeavor. She could have struck out on her own once arriving in this foreign land, but Red hadn't don't that. Suffice it to say, there is something to be said for companionship and familiarity when starting out in a new country where you can barely even speak the language. So, she'd stayed and lived out many tolerable years as Mrs. Reznikov, Dmitri's dutiful wife. She'd raised three sons, ran a business that at least kept food on their table, and had she not wound up in prison she probably would have continued living that same life for the rest of her days. It may have initially seemed like the path of least resistance, but now it seemed that she couldn't possibly have picked a harder road to follow.
Even if she'd wanted to, Red didn't think she could ever fit the mold of Galina, wife of Dmitri ever again. She wasn't that person anymore. Having years of her life stolen from her, while Dmitri had continued on with no direct consequence to himself had made her bitter, mistrustful, and harder than before. Beneath the surface, buried deep down were still remnants of the gentle woman who used to hum while working in her restaurant, laugh on spinning rides with her sons, and let them crawl into bed with her at night whenever they wanted. If she looked for her, Red could still recover those parts of herself-like during sweet moments with Nicky, but usually she stayed hidden well away. She wondered if her sons would understand that. Would they respect her need to divorce their father, so that in two years time when she walked out those doors as a free woman she could begin a life lived for herself, and not as part of an obligatory arrangement that was built on a bed of lies. Or maybe her sons would only feel cheated. Resentful of being deprived of the family they had been waiting close to two decades to reconfigure. Yet whatever anyone else thought, Red knew she was finally making the right choice for herself. It was long overdue.
Glancing up at the clock on the wall, Red realized she still had some time before she needed to return to the dormitories for count. The phones were open for a little while longer so making a sudden decision, Red turned and headed in their direction to make a call. She hadn't spoken to her sons since Mother's Day. After the way their visitation had ended on such tense terms, there really hadn't been much more to say before watching Yuri, Maxim, and Vasily had silently followed their father out of the prison. Red hadn't said much of anything after her discovery about their group deceitfulness, saving all her pent-up anger for confronting Chapman and then going to Healy's office to remove Dmitri from her visitation list. Although upset with them, there had never been a question of cutting away from her boys. That was something she would never do, recognizing that it was significant that her relationships with the three of them remained as tight as they had. She knew that wasn't the case for all mothers in prison.
She reached the phones and noticed with a wave of annoyance that they all were occupied. The wailing woman tangled the cord around her finger as she sobbed incoherently into the receiver. She was dressed in the blue nightgown she wore constantly. She never changed into day clothes, never seemed to go outside so Red supposed it wouldn't matter. The sight of that woman always made her uncomfortable though. Even after all that Red had been through herself, she made the best of it. She'd figured out how to do time. She didn't understand how someone could just wallow in despair constantly.
A few down, Gloria was standing up against the telephone with her forehead pressed against the wall. She held the phone to her ear and was whispering quietly into it. Her shoulders were hunched and the way her body was pressed up against the wall made it look as though she wanted to be invisible. Red tapped her foot impatiently on the floor and crossed her arms as she stared Gloria down. She had to admit that she was much more curious about her conversation than the wailing woman whose voice was being to elevate now with hysteria. Her ears perked in nosy attentiveness, Red drew a little bit closer as she took in the altered scrub shirt and the way Gloria's pants were stretched all the way up her curvaceous thighs. Why would anybody even want to wear clothes that tight? Red thought to herself in annoyance. It must be a real hassle for Gloria to remove them at the end of the day, she thought with a smirk.
"I just don't understand why you didn't come?" Gloria said softly, running her hand up the back of her neck until she clenched a fistful of her cropped hair. "Yes, I realize that...but what about just coming so that we could spend the day together? It's been so lo-"
Red watched as Gloria closed her eyes while she listened to whatever her son was saying into the phone. Her shoulders were hunched and as she stood there she seemed to recoil more and more into herself, until suddenly she seemed to pull herself up to her fullest height and bristle as she waited for a chance to speak.
"Listen-" she sighed loudly. "Benny, will you just listen to me? Come on, baby…. I haven't seen you in two and a half years." Her voice caught on the end note and she exhaled slowly to calm herself. "Benjamin Mendoza, I don't care what you think you gotta do, this Saturday when Lourdes is getting ready to drive you here, you make sure you're in that car if you know what's good for you. We've got a lot to talk about, you and me."
She paused as she waited to hear his reply. "No, I'm not trying to start a fight with you," Gloria huffed, her feet pacing in place as she got her bearings. "Although if I wanted to I got a lot of different things to choose from…...well skipping school for one!" she exclaimed. "Yeah, okay," she scoffed, lifting a hand to rest her palm against the cinder block wall. "Fine. ...goodnight."
Gloria was about to slam the phone but at the last second, she remembered where she was. It wouldn't make sense to display her temper and earn herself a shot from the onlooking guard. Instead, Gloria squeezed the receiver extra tight in her grip and took a couple of deep breaths to ease the frustration that was rising within her. Turning around to see the time displayed on the clock, Gloria blinked in surprise when she saw Red standing in wait behind her, with a curious expression on her face. Gloria hadn't realized that anyone else had been lined up behind her.
"Here you are," Gloria said flatly, holding the phone out for her rival inmate to take.
"Thanks," Red said gruffly, coming forward casually. "Family drama?" she guessed correctly, just as Gloria was about to walk away. She'd been listening in on Gloria's side of the conversation and had been able to easily surmise that she had been negotiating with one of her children. Red saw no point in trying to act like she hadn't heard.
"Just my son," Gloria admitted, rocking forward on the balls of her feet as she staggered in place. She exhaled loudly. "He's not doing well…"
"Oh, no?" Red said lazily. Leaning lightly back against the box of the phone she raised her eyebrows as she waited for elaboration.
"No," Gloria shook her head. She scoffed. "But who can f*cking blame him for being angry when he has a mother in prison?"
"He's a teenager," Red reminded her, as she twisted the phone cord mindlessly around her fingers. "Even if you handed him everything on a silver platter he'd probably still find something to be upset about. I wouldn't be so hard on yourself."
She was a bit taken-aback by her own kindness, because usually Gloria's presence never ceased to irritate her. She had her kitchen, the very thing that had made Red's life on the inside purposeful and tolerable. Yet at the same time, Red saw a lot of herself in Gloria that made her impossible to hate even if they'd never be the best of friends. They both were mothers-to the younger girls who depended on them and to their children out in the world getting on with their lives without them. Thus, beneath the resentment and tension, there was understanding.
"He always was a bit of a troublemaker," Gloria admitted. She brought her finger up to dab at the corner of her eye, giving Red a chance to notice how bitten down her unpolished nails were. She found it peculiar that somebody who seemed to value her figure as much as Gloria did, would slack on primping. She wore makeup, but it was clean and natural tones that would wear off before the day concluded anyway, and not be reapplied. Right now, Red could detect the slightest touch of mascara on Gloria's blinking lashes, but that was all. She was fresh faced but she was beautiful.
"A troublemaker?" Red said thickly, tapping the phone receiver against her hand, as a smirk played across her crimson lips, heavily coated with her signature red lipstick. "I wonder where he gets that from?" she said sarcastically.
"You might be onto something," Gloria scoffed. "If I was home, I'd have that attitude in check pretty damn quickly."
"If he was my son, I'd probably kick him," Red affirmed. "But I suppose we all have our own way of parenting."
"Oh, believe me, I've thought about it," Gloria replied, the corners of her mouth tugging threateningly. "Benny and his brother are with my aunt but she's completely at her wits end. She didn't ask for them...at least you have a husband. Are you calling him to say goodnight?"
"I don't have a husband," Red said thickly. "Or at least I won't as soon as we file the paperwork." She wasn't sure that the way she could dismiss Dmitri so absolutely, without any form of hesitation, was normal. She'd been married to the man since she was twenty-two, so you'd think that there would be significant feelings to process there. But there weren't any. They hadn't lived as husband and wife for a very long time however, and even before that their partnership had had little to do with passion and everything to do with convenience.
"Oh, sh*t," Gloria exclaimed. "Sorry to hear that."
"I'm not," Red said frostily. "It's something I should have done years ago. He's a worthless mushroom of a man." The insult slipped off her tongue just as easily as declaring him a hamster, way back during their beginnings in Russia, had come. It was interesting how quick the resentment of Dmitri could resume, as if the peaceable years of companionship had never happened. Red had wanted to believe that there was growth potential, that Dmitri's daring ambition to immigrate to America might mean he had the teeth to conquer life with her and make everything alright-but he had always been a coward. Too weak to keep the mafia away from his family's doorsteps and now too cowardly to even award her with the truth about their failed business and god knows what else. It had been easier for Dmitri to coerce their sons into lying for him then to be straight with his wife. After such betrayal, there could never be respect.
"I've known a few of those," Gloria replied. A swarm of disenchanted faces clouded her head and she fought to ignore them until they faded again.
"Maybe we should give up and be gay?" Red joked.
"Well, we've got the haircuts," Gloria smiled in bemusement.
Red chuckled as she began to dial the number she had memorized by heart. "I'm calling to find out if my sons hate me," she confided, leaning the phone between her ear and shoulder. "We haven't spoken since their father and I finished."
"Well, good luck," Gloria replied, taking a step away from the phone. "I'll see you around, Red."
Red listened to the phone dial as she watched Gloria's retreating back until she turned the corner, undoubtedly on her way to Spanish Harlem to turn in for the night. The automated voice announcing that this was a call from the prison played over the line, and a moment later it was answered.
"Hello," said the sultry voice that Red recognized at once as belonging to her daughter-in-law, Anna. She had been with Red's oldest son off-and-on for approximately ten years and together they had two children, a son and a daughter. Anna was a well-established woman in her own right with a college diploma in office administration and a good job as a secretary in a pediatrician's office. Tall and thin with long bleach blonde hair, Anna had always been polite the times she made the drive up to the prison to visit with Yuri, but the relationship had always been awkward. Meeting your son's significant other in a prison visitation room hardly put you on equal footing. It wasn't comfortable.
"Hello, Anna," Red said complacently. "How are you?"
"I'm fine, Galina," Anna replied. "Actually, I'm just getting ready to head out the door."
"Oh," Red said flatly. "I guess I caught you at a bad time, huh? Are you and Yuri going out?"
"No, just me tonight," Anna replied. "I'm actually running a little late, so is there something I can help you with?"
"No," Red replied. "I was just calling to speak to my son."
"Okay, well, he's outside at the moment," said Anna. "He'll be back in a minute. Do you want to hang on?"
"Sure," said Red. She heard a rustle on the line as Anna laid the phone down and walked away. Red clicked her tongue as she waited, watching the precious seconds ticking by on the wall clock. Phone calls from prison were time constrained which would mean less time to talk to her son. In the background, she could hear fuzzy voices and sounds as Anna ordered her two children up to bed. "Can't I finish my show first, mama?" a muffled, girlish voice pleaded, causing Red to press the phone even tighter against her ear as she strained to listen. She couldn't make out any more words, but she was positive that the speaker had been her granddaughter, Ivanna, who had just recently celebrated her eighth birthday. Red had watched the little girl, as well as her brother Feliks, grow up through photographs and the stories told to her by her sons and Dmitri. She'd never even met them.
"Mamochka? Hi!" Yuri's familiar voice exclaimed, drawing Red out of her daydream. "Are you-just a sec," he told her. There was some rustling, and Red knew that her son had covered the phone with his hand. "Yeah," he said to Anna. "I won't forget, babe."
"And don't stay on the phone with her too long," Red could make out Anna saying. There was more. "She should call sooner than this if she wants to talk." Red rolled her eyes up to the ceiling as she listened to the sentiments in her daughter-in-law's tone. She always felt like a constant barrier to Red reaching her son. Anna was always the one to answer the phone and once she got Yuri on, his wife seemed determined to rush him off. It was a controlling method that made Red almost wish that Anna had stayed well away after their most recent split.
"I know," Yuri answered his wife. "Have fun." There was some more muffled talk on Yuri's end and then her son uncovered the phone and came back to speak to her. "Sorry about that," he said a bit breathlessly.
"I was about to hang up," Red said stiffly. "If you have something else to do then I won't keep you."
"Of course not, Ma," Yuri said calmly. "I was just saying goodbye to Anna first. She's going out with some friends for the night and had to give me the instructions for the kids."
"Your kids are eight and nine," Red reminded him. "If you don't know how to care for them by this point without your wife giving you instructions, then there's something wrong with you."
"No," Yuri chuckled. "I know...it's just Anna likes things done a certain way and I want to make her happy." Red rolled her eyes, grateful that her son could at least not see her. "So, how are you?"
"Maybe we should skip the formalities since your wife said you couldn't talk too long," Red told him. "You need to grow a backbone, Yuri!"
"I thought you were happy we got back together?" Yuri argued.
"I am," Red replied. "For the kids-provided that the two of you can act civilly together." It was one thing that she prided herself on, that she and Dmitri had always managed to maintain a cordial, if not passionate, relationship around the kids even during the worst parts of their marriage. Yuri and Anna, however, were known to have arguments that could shake the house-at least if Dmitri's testimony was to be believed, which considering what Red knew now was considerably less reliable than before.
"Never mind that," Yuri said dismissively. "We're going to be fine. We talk things out and come up with solutions, okay? Like tonight for instance. She was mad because I went out drinking with Max and Vasily last night and didn't help her. So tonight, I gave her the chance to go out with her friends while I stay home and do everything. Nice, huh?"
"Vasily went too?" Red asked. "I thought he'd promised to stop drinking and help out more with the baby when he got back with Lida? Or are they broken up again too? The way you and your brother drop in and out of relationships it's hard for me to keep track."
"They're together," Yuri told her. "They're doing well. Lida apologized for hitting him that time, and Vasily apologized for...you know, just basically being stupid. She didn't mind him going out with us though. She's calmed down a lot lately. For the longest time we were all scared to even make sudden movements in her presence. She really went off the deep end after Alexei was born. Vasily said he had to sleep with one eye open."
"She had postpartum depression," Red said knowingly, having diagnosed Vasily's girlfriend unofficially based on her mother's intuitiveness and the list of complaints her son had made about Lida's general irritability, extreme mood swings, and coldness. Since she was usually such a cheerful and vibrant girl, the personality changes following the birth of her son could only be explained by one thing. Although it wasn't surprising at all to Red that it went over her sons' heads. That type of mental thickness was inherited directly from their father.
"I dunno, Ma," Yuri said skeptically. "I've been depressed and I never hit anyone in the face with a bag of change before."
"No, you and Anna just get into rows loud enough to awaken the dead," Red rolled her eyes. "Is that still going on?"
"No," Yuri insisted. "I swear to you we're good. I'm toeing the line, doing everything she asks. We're going to make it work this time. I'm not messing this up again."
"Such effort," Red sighed. "It just sounds so exhausting. Maybe Maxim has the right idea staying single and out of all that relationship mess. It only brings trouble."
"Is that why you and Papa are divorcing?" Yuri asked quietly.
"You know why we're divorcing," Red snapped. "You were there."
"I thought there might be more to it," Yuri replied. "It's just a store, Ma."
"It's just a lie," Red told him. "If he's deceiving me about this then he's probably done it about other things as well. Maybe you even know about some of them?"
"Why would you say that?" Yuri hiccupped nervously, seeming to shrink even over the phone at the effect of his mother's anger. He exhaled deeply. "Listen, Ma. I'm completely on your side when it comes to this divorce. I think you're doing the right thing."
"Well, that's surprising," Red said dryly. "I was under the impression that Papa had coerced you boys into being his little partners in this web of deceit."
"I just didn't want to hurt you," Yuri said apologetically. "Because there's nothing that can be done about it anyway. I just figured we'd get everything straightened out when you get home and it actually matters."
"Except now there will be no home to come back to," Red told him stiffly.
Yuri sighed, "your home is with us, Ma. We'll figure it out. I don't see the point of worrying about all that right now anyway, though. It will probably only make the remaining time seem longer."
"Alright, fine," Red replied. "We won't talk about it. Tell me something else."
"Uhhhh," Yuri stumbled as he thought of something positive to share. "I got a raise at work. An extra dollar an hour."
"Oh, good for you," Red said softly. Yuri worked as a teller at a bank and had been since he had finished high school. He was bright, with an affinity for business skills that would have taken him far, his mother believed, if he had ever chosen to go to college. He'd been on the verge of completing high school when Red was arrested. She had missed his graduation ceremony by just a few weeks, which was something that had always made her feel sad.
"Yeah, so once I get paid I'll be able to put some more money into your account," Yuri promised. "I know you're probably getting pretty low."
"Thank you, honey," Red replied softly. "It might be awhile before Papa and I get everything divided up in this divorce, but once we do you can pay yourself back out of what's mine. I want you to handle my money while I'm still in here. And I don't want to take from you when you have a family to look after."
"It's not a problem," Yuri replied. "I'm not keeping track, okay? I'm glad you're doing this. I think you're making the right decision."
"Really?" Red said, her eyes squinting in suspicion. "Are you fighting with your father or something? Why are you so against him?"
"What? I'm not!" Yuri replied. "Pop and I are fine. It's just that I think you'll be happier this way in the end. I know that you never had a perfect marriage, and after all this time that the two of you have been apart, I don't see how it could work. Things are really different now and I want you to start looking forward. I'll help you do that when you get out."
"And how do your brothers feel about all of this?" Red asked.
"Well, they agree," Yuri coughed nervously. "They support you. And it's been so long since we've all been together that it isn't going to change much anyway, right?"
"Well, that simplifies things," Red replied, just as the guard came over the intercom ordering everyone to return to their bunks for the count in five minutes. "I guess I'll talk to you later," she said, feeling the eyes of the supervising guard on her back.
"I'm glad you called, Ma," Yuri said sincerely. "I might not be able to visit much for the next little while because they have me working Saturdays, but I'm going to try to come see you for your birthday, next month."
"My birthday," Red blinked. "I'm surprised that you even remember. Usually the cards you guys send get here at least a week after the date."
"What can I say? I'm a changed man," Yuri laughed. "I'm going to do better. Have a good night, Ma, okay? I miss you."
"I miss you too," Red said quietly. "Goodnight." She hung up the phone carefully and then turned to head to her dormitory without sparing a glance for the guard against the wall. All the other phones had been deserted already, and Red had to hurry to make it to the front of her cube in time for count.
She leaned against the wall. Piper on her left and Norma on her right. On Norma's other side, Nicky was standing with her arms crossed, dressed in the grey sweats she always slept in because she refused to wear the baggy mu-mu to bed. Glancing around Norma, Nicky craned her neck to meet Red's gaze. They held it silently, Nicky dramatically rolling her eyes when the recount was called, before loudly groaning and falling back against the cinder wall.
"Finally!" Nicky exclaimed, when they were free to move. Instead of retreating into her own cube for the night, she walked into the one next door and hopped onto the metal frame of Red's bed unceremoniously. "How hard is it to count?"
"They mess up every night," Red said, as she sat down at her makeshift desk and pulled her mirror. She reached for her packet of makeup remover wipes so that she could take off her face before bed.
"You know I've been thinking about how much time has been wasted, standing at attention to be counted," Piper said, as she climbed on top of the blankets that had been rid of bed bugs and made the softest bed she could manage, in lieu of a mattress. "On average they take between five and ten minutes depending on the competency of the guards. Add all that up and-"
"All time in this place is a waste of time," Nicky interrupted her. "Just add up the complete length of your sentence and call it a day...except maybe for the hours you and Vause spend hidden away in orgasmic bliss. I'll count that as time well spent."
"Nicky," Red scoffed, lowering her mirror as she glared over at her with a disapproving stare. Nicky grinned cheekily up at her from her place lying stretched out on the wooden board covered cot.
"What?" Nicky asked. "I thought you'd appreciate that jest. How did it go with Healy tonight anyway? You were gone a long time."
"Healy?" Piper asked, straightening up with her attention perked. "Did he say anything about when we might be getting new mattresses ordered?"
"I went to call my son after," Red explained to Nicky, ignoring Piper. "I wasn't in there all night. And Healy's wasting his time if he thinks understanding the insults his wife shoots at him is going to resolve anything."
"Ohhhh," Nicky chuckled. "You must have gotten some good dirt on him tonight, huh? Come on, mom, tell me! I could use some entertainment. The best we've got going lately is Chapman and Vause making up during drama class. I must say I was enjoying the sexual, hate, tension thing you guys had going for awhile."
"So was I," Piper replied. "F*cking empathy. Really messed with our whole rhythm. Angry sex can be deeply satisfying."
"There you go," Nicky exclaimed jovially. "Maybe you did help out, Ma. Get all the Healy drama out in the open and now he and his wife can go at it like a couple of angry, sex-crazed wildebeests or something tonight…. I don't know why the image of a wildebeest immediately came to mind when I thought of Healy but it did and I went with it."
"Ew," Piper groaned, covering her face with her hands. "Now I'm going to have nightmares." She rubbed her hands over her face and then reached under her bed to select one of the books she had stored under there. She pulled "Pride and Prejudice" out and began to read to herself without another word.
"I'm going to brush my teeth," Red told Nicky, rolling her eyes at Piper as she got up.
"I'll come with you," Nicky replied. She got up and rubbed her back with both hands as they walked side by side down the aisle to reach the washrooms. She picked at her teeth with a fingernail, while Red brushed hers silently. They didn't say much. Nicky thought that Red seemed tired and deep in her own thoughts. They finished up in the bathroom and then began walking back to their bunks before the lights were switched off.
"I hope we do get new mattresses soon though," Nicky groaned, as she glanced distastefully in at her own bunk. Norma was already passed out, flat on her back.
"It doesn't bother me that much actually," Red replied. "It's been good for my back."
"Yeah, well, it's killing mine," Nicky complained as she entered the small space. "I've been using my laundry bag for a pillow. And I have my blankets folded out underneath me but they're so thin that it makes no difference."
"You can have mine," Red told her. "Hold on a sec."
"Don't you need them?" Nicky asked.
"No," Red replied. "I already told you that sleeping on the board doesn't bother me. And it's warm tonight, so I don't need any covers. I can sleep with my hoodie on."
"Okay," Nicky said skeptically. "Thanks." Red went around the corner to get her own prison issued blanket, as well as the crocheted one that Nicky had coveted before. Taking charge, she folded both blankets in half and layered them with the one Nicky had already laid out. It gave her a slightly thicker sleeping base, although not nearing the comfortability of a mattress. Still, it was the best Red could do under the circumstances and Nicky appreciated the gesture nonetheless.
"I want you to meet my sons," Red said suddenly once Nicky had laid down on the makeshift bed. Red sat down at her feet and rested a hand on her shin, while Nicky eyed her warily.
"I know who they are already," Nicky reminded her. "I've stalked your visits, if you recall. I watched through the window when you visited with your sons and Dmitri last Christmas. Gotta say that I really did miss sparkle tits though. She certainly brought some excitement to the festivities."
"Sparkle tits is back," Red replied. "I spoke to her on the phone tonight. She was getting ready to go out too, so I'll bet you anything she was sparkling in some sort of sequined dress tonight."
"Awesome," Nicky chuckled. "She looks like a Russian Barbie doll to me...and I mean, her tits are huge. She doesn't' even need the embellishments. I'm sure Yuri appreciates that."
"I'm not sure flattering his wife's tits are going to endear him to you, honey," Red said dryly. "But whatever you want."
Nicky stopped laughing at once and propped herself up on her elbows to stare at Red inquisitively in the eye. "So, you were serious about all that, huh?" She felt conflicted and touched at the same time. It felt like a conscious effort to be included, but at the same time was something of an overwhelming prospect. Nicky wasn't shy, so she wasn't sure why exactly she'd be nervous. It was just the evidence that Red really did mean it when she said she wanted her in the family forever, not just while they were stuck in Litchfield together. There was a future to be had here. It was so close to being in Nicky's grasp.
"Entirely serious," Red replied calmly. "I can have Healy add my boys to your visitation list. Next time one of them comes I can bring you in with me. I think you'll like them...especially Vasily. Something tells me that you two will have a lot in common."
"I mean...I guess," Nicky shrugged, giving Red a winning smile. "If you want me…"
Red leaned forward and held Nicky's cheeks with both of her hands, just as the lights shut off in the dormitory. "I'll always want you," Red whispered, in the sudden quiet that filled the room. "Goodnight, honey." Her hands slid down Nicky's face and she got up to leave.
"Goodnight, mom," Nicky called to her softly, filling Red's heart with sudden joy. She walked calmly back into her own bunk. Piper had flicked on her reading light and glanced up when she entered, but Red said nothing. The light didn't bother her anyway. Red zipped her sweater on for an extra layer and then lay careful down on the hard bed frame. It might be good for her back, but it still was uncomfortable and she'd be just as happy as everyone else when the prison finally issued them all new mattresses.
She rolled onto her side and closed her eyes in a bid to go to sleep. Through the partisan wall she could hear Nicky muttering as she fidgeted in bed and attempted to get herself settled. Such a troublesome girl, Red thought fondly to herself, but she was so incredibly grateful to have her at all. She thought about their discussion at the greenhouse that afternoon, how well Nicky seemed to her and how relieved she felt at knowing she had done everything in her power to keep her daughter safe. It made her feel luckier than Gloria, whose son was out in the world without her and needing her so desperately. At least Yuri, Maxim, and Vasily had had their father. As she began to drift off, Red still couldn't erase the image of Gloria standing with that phone in her hand from her mind. She hoped that she was sleeping well tonight. The woman deserved a little bit of peace.