Gloria smirked at the scowl on her friend's face as she watched Aleida deal the cards around the table. Gloria waited until she had all five of her cards placed before her before she picked them up, fanning them out in front of her. She raised a singular eyebrow, her calm face revealing absolutely nothing about her hand to the annoyance of the other women. Gloria's stellar poker face was one of the things that made her so good at cards. She'd certainly played enough hands to improve her skills over the years inside, since there wasn't much else to do. It was never very thrilling, but it provided a necessary distraction and sometimes could even be fun. Especially when she was beating Aleida.
"Who's winning?" Aleida asked sharply, glaring over at her daughter, who was absent-mindedly doodling in the margins of the lined paper she'd been using to keep score on. Dayanara rarely got to do much more that that when they played because Aleida wouldn't let her. Her own competition with her daughter invoked her to keep Daya in her place as much as she could. Sometimes Gloria would intervene on her behalf since she never really had any qualms about overstepping boundaries and mothering Aleida's daughter for her, but lately she'd been too distracted to really care.
"Gloria," Daya muttered, not looking up from the sketch she was doing.
"Figures," Aleida scoffed. Leaning across the table, she flicked the top of Gloria's fanned out hand of cards to get her attention. "You wearing your lucky panties tonight or something?"
"Lucky panties? Please," Gloria rolled her eyes. "My panties haven't been lucky since I got thrown into this hell hole."
"Are you hoping to change that, Gloria?" a gruff voice teased. Gloria looked up and caught the eye of Nicky as she walked past the table with a group of her friends. Nicky winked playfully at her before hurrying ahead to snag one of the few unoccupied seats in front of the television. Norma, Gina, and Sister Ingalls were already watching.
Gloria turned her head to regard them all sitting peaceably together with seemingly no concern for a person noticeably absent from their group. Or maybe it was only noticeable to Gloria because she'd been paying such attention to her lately. After all, it wasn't uncommon for Red to enjoy time alone to read, or garden, or just have a little time to herself. However, the woman had been uncharacteristically quiet and extremely reclusive since she'd learned of her husband's passing.
Even Nicky hadn't been successful at getting Red to smile or at least talk about what was going on. It shouldn't have worried Gloria as much as it did. If anything, she should be enjoying a break from the steady drama that had been a near constant since Red had started back in the kitchen. But to her surprise, Gloria had actually been missing it. She'd come to enjoy their steady banter and unlikely friendship as they worked side by side, yet Red hadn't even spoken to her in over a week, besides to curtly inform her that their visitation for last Saturday had been cancelled.
Obviously, Gloria understood the circumstances and had only sympathy for the Reznikov family, but it had been a crushing blow for her anyway. She had really begun to rely on the consistent contact with her sons to begin healing their strained relationship. There was still a lot of work to be done but there were times she could tell that Julio and Benny were happy to be with her and wished there could be more time. Gloria felt the same way. She began counting the minutes until their next visit as soon as she had to watch their retreating backs leaving and not being able to see their precious faces when she expected to was heartbreaking.
No amount of begging had been enough to persuade Lourdes to drive them all the way up to the prison herself when Gloria had dared to ask. She hadn't actually expected her aunt to say yes but felt she needed to try. Julio and Benny weren't very understanding about the extenuating circumstances that prevented them being able to see their mother. They tried to pretend like they didn't care but their refusal to speak to her on the phone had only confirmed to Gloria that they were disappointed.
The next time Gloria had called home had been much of the same. Benny had been out and Lourdes didn't know when he'd be back, and Julio had claimed he was too busy with homework to talk. That had ignited Lourdes to inform Gloria that Benny had failed another test that week, which meant he'd likely be forced to repeat the grade. That revelation had made Gloria feel even worse than ever. She'd been studying math right along with him and had hoped to help him make an acceptable grade, but that did them no good if they didn't even get to see each other.
"Your turn," Aleida barked, awakening Gloria from her daydream. She quickly turned away from Nicky and the others and looked back down at her cards. Her lips twisted as she tried to focus on which one to pay, but seeing Nicky had made her think of Red and now she could barely concentrate. Sighing, Gloria leaned back in her chair and nudged Daya with her elbow.
"Take my spot," Gloria instructed, as she handed off her hand of cards to Daya. Her chair legs made a scraping sound as she moved back from the table.
"Where are you going?" Aleida demanded.
"Kitchen," Gloria replied, standing up and brushing her hands against the thighs of her pants. "I can't remember if we turned the ovens off tonight or not."
"You're not running the place anymore," Aleida reminded her, as she laid the four of clubs down in the discard pile and picked up from the deck. "Let that Russia woman worry about it from now on."
"Yeah, well, she seemed pretty distracted today," Gloria said absentmindedly. "And if something gets messed up you know the guards are going to be coming down on all of our asses. I'll see you later."
Without another word, Gloria turned to walk out of the room. She couldn't rationally explain why she had done what she did to anyone but it had felt like the right thing to do. Even though she didn't like to proclaim it, Gloria had been in Red's shoes before and understood what she had to be going through. It didn't make sense to grieve for somebody that had caused you a lot of pain, but that's exactly what Gloria had experienced when Lourdes had told her about her former boyfriend Arturo's passing. She knew Red had been estranged from her husband which surely complicated things, but in no way reprieved Red from mourning his loss. At least not in Gloria's opinion.
"You still here?" Gloria asked, walking through the dark kitchen and stopping in the door frame of Red's office. She pretended to be surprised to see her sitting there. A book was open spine up on the desk, but Gloria doubted that Red had made much progress on actually reading it. She'd been sitting slumped back in her chair and her glasses weren't on.
"Yes," Red replied stiffly, and Gloria could tell the woman was annoyed by her intrusion. A desire for solitude was what motivated Red to stay cooped up in her cramped office after hours, when she could have at least gone to lay down on her cot which had to be more comfortable. Unbothered by Red's unwelcomeness, Gloria stepped into the office and plopped down easily into the adjacent chair.
"I came to check the ovens," Gloria lied. "I couldn't remember if we'd turned them off so I figured I better be safe and make sure."
Red's eyes narrowed. "I always double check each one before I leave at night. You know that, you've seen me."
"I wouldn't blame you if you're mind was elsewhere these days," Gloria said bluntly, noting the way Red's eyes narrowed at the implication of her words. "At least for me, my concentration was pretty shot for a long time after my boyfriend died. I had to write myself notes or I'd forget things."
"Well, this isn't like that," Red said curtly. Her red polished fingernails were flicking at the cover of her book. "Dmitri hasn't been a part of my daily life in almost as long as I can remember, and I wasn't even on speaking terms with him in the end because of what he's done."
"Mmm," Gloria murmured. "I wasn't on speaking terms with Arturo either. I actually was in the process of leaving him and am thankful he's out of my life, but still...it hit me hard. Me and my boys. It was complicated."
"Uh huh," Red said dryly. Her face was strangely blank and her eyebrows were raised as she looked down at her plucking fingers and seemed to be waiting for Gloria to give up this attempt at conversation and leave.
"How are your sons doing?" Gloria asked. She watched as the blank expression on Red's face gave way only for a split second to reveal a flash of hurt. Red's shoulders shrugged pityingly at the question but Gloria was not to be dissuaded. "Lourdes told me she took Julio and Benny over to Vasily's place the other day to drop off a meal, but only his wife was home and she seemed kind of frazzled."
Finally, Red looked interested. "What did Lida tell her?"
"I don't really know," Gloria shrugged. "Lourdes just said that she dropped off a dish she'd prepared for them. I guess it was the day after the funeral. She said the baby was cute but had spit up all over his mother's shirt the second before she'd opened the door."
"Alexei," Red spoke her grandson's name softly. She sighed. "From what I've heard, that darling boy is quite the handful. He must get it from his father."
"Well, surely it couldn't be from his grandmother," Gloria teased. "But I don't think they even stayed long. Lida had to go change her shirt and Lourdes said she could smell something burning in the kitchen."
"She's a mess," Red chuckled fondly. "She's a nice girl but I think she's been having a hard time since she had the baby. Vasily should help her out more, stop trying to channel his father who never was any use to me when my boys were small."
"Sounds pretty typical father behaviour to me, unfortunately," Gloria replied, arching her back against the chair as she stretched it out. "They get to play by different rules than us. You should tell your son off the next time you call home."
"I'll try to remember that on the off chance he actually picks up the phone," Red said thickly, her voice catching at the end. She rubbed her hand over her face and then pinched the bridge of her nose. Her eyes closed for a moment, causing Gloria to take note of the dark circles below her lashes. Red didn't look like she had gotten a decent night's sleep all week.
"I guess it's been pretty crazy for your family lately," Gloria said softly. It was obvious that Red had been feeling neglected or put out lately. For the first time, Gloria realized that Red had to have been even more disappointed about her kids cancelling visitation than she was. Missing out on much needed bonding time and the opportunity to help Benny study for a math test could not compare to being unable to hold and console your children after the death of their other parent. It didn't matter how old Yuri, Maxim, and Vasily were, it was only natural that Red would want to be there to support them through this loss. She was their mother and they needed her.
"My mother died when I was still pretty small but I remember Lourdes telling me about how overwhelming it was to sort out all of her affairs and organize the funeral in the following days," Gloria shared. "She said they gave her so much paperwork to work through she barely had time to grieve."
"It's very overwhelming," Red agreed, blinking rapidly as she opened her eyes and brushed her hand back through her hair. "My boys even had to sign the authorization to turn off their father's life support. I don't think they'll ever forgive me."
"Forgive you?" Gloria frowned. "How are you in any way remotely responsible for that?"
Red sniffled. "Because if I hadn't filed to divorce him then I would have still had the legal right to make that decision in their place."
"I think you're reaching a bit there," Gloria said honestly. "Most people wind up having to make difficult decisions for their parents at that point. At least for one parent. Look at it this way, even if you and Dmitri had remained married then one of you would have gone first. That would leave your sons in the same position they are in now. Besides that, they're adults and there are three of them. If Vasily said anything to make you feel bad then you should know that logically he was probably just upset in the moment. We say a lot of things we don't mean when we're upset."
"It was Yuri," Red replied softly, "the other two haven't even picked up their phones when I tried to call." She sniffled again and this time Gloria reached back to pass her the tissue box set on the shelf behind her.
"Thank you," Red murmured, pulling a tissue out and blowing her nose.
"How many times did you try?" Gloria asked.
"Once or twice," Red answered vaguely, tossing her Kleenex into the wastebasket beside the desk.
"That's it?" Gloria blinked. "In that case, I hardly think you should be jumping to conclusions. It could be a simple matter of them being unable to take the call when you phoned and it's not as if they can just redial you back, right? I doubt it's anything personal. They're just dealing with a lot right now."
"You have more faith than I do," Red sighed mournfully. She couldn't help feeling sorry for herself right now. Yuri's words about her essential abandonment brought on by her own poor choices had cut her hard. He wasn't wrong, and the part of her that wasn't currently being consumed with guilt for not being there with them was busy licking her emotional wounds and fretting about whether her biggest fear might be too. Despite how good a mother she believed she was bringing up her boys, maybe it really would be impossible to put the pieces back together when she was released. She didn't really belong in their world anymore and just because they visited the prison regularly did not necessarily mean that they would be prepared to offer her a prominent place in their lives on the outside. They'd been grieving her for much longer than they had been Dmitri.
Swallowing a lump in her throat, Red looked sideways at Gloria and regarded her carefully.
"Were you really worried about the ovens?" she asked bluntly, watching the way the corners of Gloria's lips twitched until they successfully tugged her lips into a small smile.
"Well, that's the story I'm going to stick with," Gloria replied with a chuckle. "At least if Aleida confronts me later to complain about me skipping out on our card game. But between you and me, I did want to check and see if you were alright."
"Oh?" Red raised her eyebrows. She wasn't really sure what to say to that. Subconsciously, her hand slid down to rub over her chest as she felt her heart flutter at an increased beat.
"I can leave if you want me to," Gloria continued. "But if you'd like a friend right now then I'd like to stay."
It was Red's turn to fight a smile and she was no more successful than Gloria. "Is that what we are?" she asked. "Are we friends?"
"I don't know what we are," Gloria admitted, propping her head up with her left hand as her legs bumped against the corner of the desk. Her eyes twinkled at the loaded question.
There was nothing very straightforward when it came to dealing with Galina Reznikov. She was complicated and difficult, she could go from hating you to considering you her family in what seemed to be the blink of an eye. Gloria supposed what they had developed really wasn't much more than an easygoing truce and good working relationship, but it would be impossible not to feel more for a woman who had essentially brought her sons back to her.
"Rivals?" Red guessed, her accent thickly. "Thorns in each others' sides?"
"Nah," Gloria shook her head. "You wouldn't offer to arrange for two of my kids to get free drives up here to see me if all I did was irritate you."
"Well, you gave me back the kitchen first," Red retorted. "So, I think you started this and I just was trying to meet you half-way-before I realized that this kitchen was going to be cursed by the likings of slop unfit for human consumption."
"Okay, for the record, we should both agree that I was doing myself a favour," Gloria held up her hand in emphasis. "You just got to reap the benefits. So, let's face it. You caved first."
"Jesus," Red scoffed. She rested her elbow on the desk and began mindlessly fiddling with the gold hoop she wore in her right ear. She looked slightly pink in the cheeks but also exceedingly more animated than she was when Gloria had first sat down.
"It was nice of your aunt and sons to stop by Vasily's house," she said softly. "I'm sure that my family will appreciate that."
"In my family, when someone dies the kitchen gets packed with enough food to feed an army," Gloria replied. "They might never have met your husband, but Julio and Benny have both become very fond of your sons. And even Lourdes said they have nice manners and she's pretty hard to please."
"That's good," Red replied. She shifted uncomfortably in her chair and continued to thumb at her earring as a comfortable silence fell between the two women. Neither seemed sure of how to proceed but they weren't ready to leave yet either.
"You're going to tug your earring right out if you keep doing that," Gloria said after a moment. Her right hand reached over to rest on Red's, halting its movement so that Red released her grip on the gold hoop. Instead of pulling immediately away, she turned her hand until its back was pressed on her jaw line and her palm rubbed against Gloria's. Red could feel the warmth radiating from Gloria's bronze skin and what felt like an electric jolt tingle through her fingertips and all the way through her arm.
"I'm sorry for your loss, Galina," Gloria whispered, speaking her given name for the first time. Nobody called her that, Gloria wasn't even sure when she had heard it. But it flowed off her tongue so naturally and was pleasing to her ear. It was a beautiful name.
Red cleared her throat before speaking. "He's not my loss," she said throatily, as Gloria linked her fingers and pulled Red's hand back down onto her lap. Red bowed her head to keep their joined hands progress in view. "He's the father of my children and not much more. It's their loss."
"Well, then you should call them," Gloria told her knowingly. She craned her neck to look up at the clock hung on the kitchen wall above the stove. "You've got time now. What are you waiting for?"
"What if they don't answer?" Red asked, her blue eyes sparking with worry as she lifted her chin to look directly into Gloria's brown.
"Then you try tomorrow and don't waste precious sleeping time staying up all night coming up with paranoid concoctions in your head about how you think they hate you," Gloria replied. "Take it from my experience, when your grown kids don't like you, they make it pretty well known and not by visiting regularly and only ghosting after a major death in the family."
"How is that from your personal experience?" Red asked with a roll of her eyes, "your sons aren't grown". She didn't like her emotions being disregarded as dramatics from an overactive and slightly paranoid imagination, but she had to admit that Gloria was making her feel a little better about the situation with her sons.
"No, but I also have two older daughters," Gloria replied smoothly.
Red blinked in surprise. "I didn't know that…"
"That's because they've never visited and I'm not even entirely sure I have their current contact information," Gloria replied matter-of-factly. "They don't take my phone calls and we haven't spoken in years."
"Gloria," Red whispered, while she squeezed her hand more tightly.
"I'm used to it," Gloria replied. Her face had become as irritatingly unreadable as it was when she played cards with the other Latino women. "But in my opinion, I think you and your sons are okay."
Red nodded her head. "I should call them," she said, glancing back up at the clock. "There's still time."
"Come on," Gloria squeezed her hand once more before she released it. She could still feel the pressure from Red's palm as she pulled away and stood up from her chair. "It's on my way, so I'll walk with you."
XXX
Red had gotten the phone stationed closest to the window and dialed her youngest son's number with an urgency that had been growing within her the entire way down the hall. She hadn't spoken to Vasily at all since she'd heard the news and if she were being honest, he was the one she was worried the most about. He was the most sensitive and Red had always thought that out of his brothers, he had been the one to feel her absence the most strongly. He visited the most frequently and still confided in her when they talked, whereas the other two often only wanted to share tidbits from their lives.
The phone rang several times and Red was about to give up and place the receiver back in its cradle when she felt a click on the line as somebody answered. Red could feel her entire body tense up as she glanced quickly over at Gloria, who was standing with her back against the wall. She'd told Red she'd wait to see if someone was home, because if they weren't they could walk to Red's dorm together. Gloria felt pretty positive that Red would be feeling very rejected if her son didn't pick up, despite what she had told her mere minutes ago about how it shouldn't be take personally.
"Hello," a feminine voice answered.
"Lida?" Red breathed into the phone. It wasn't Vasily, but Red was just relieved to hear from somebody on the outside. She'd had no news in almost a week. Dmitri had died, and the funeral had come and gone without any input from her. She no longer was his wife, so technically they didn't need to include her, but it had still been very unnerving.
Red could hear the cries from a baby wailing in the background and the clang of dishes splashing into running water as she supposed Lida dumped a load into the sink before turning the tap off. Gloria raised her eyebrows at the commotion she could hear echoing out of the phone. Even from where she was standing, a couple of feet away.
"I'll see you later," she mouthed silently, giving Red an encouraging smile before turning to walk down the hall to her own dorm to retire for the night.
"I guess I called at a bad time," Red said, guiltily, as she tapped her nails anxiously against the receiver that she was holding to her ear. "I'm sorry, Lida-"
"What?" Lida spoked loudly. "Hang on a sec. Come here you…" The crying from her grandson got louder in the phone for a moment. There was some shuffling sounds and a thud that Red thought to be the sound of the phone dropping, before the crying stopped and Lida came back on.
"Okay," Lida exhaled loudly. "I think he's good. I got him latched on and that usually buys me at least fifteen minutes of nobody screaming at me. He's been fussing all day."
"Teething?" Red asked.
"Maybe?" Lida answered uncertainly. "I don't know. His gums don't seem any different to me that usual and he isn't sick. Just seems mad and I'm running out of ideas. I don't know what I'm doing wrong…"
"All babies have fussy days," Red told her reassuringly. "From what Vasily tells me, it sounds like you're doing great. I know it's not easy…"
"I'm tired," Lida admitted, even her voice sounding weary. "Alexei never sleeps more than two hours at a time. And even when I tried expressing so Vasily could get up with him for a night, he wouldn't take the bottle and cried until I nursed him…"
"That's normal," Red told her. "Unfortunately. You could try feeding while lying on your side? I did that with my babies so I could sleep during the night. It made all the difference."
"You weren't scared of rolling on top of them?" Lida asked nervously.
"No," Red replied, smiling as she remembered those cuddles from her babies in the early days. Sometimes they had seemed endless, but now she considered them to be the happiest years of her life.
"No," she said again. "You're his mother. It's natural. Maybe don't let Vasily in the bed at the same time. It might have just been me, but I never trusted his father to have the same instincts as I did."
There was a pause as Dmitri moved back into the center of Red's mind. Lida seemed to sense the subject shifting to the actual purpose of her mother-in-law's call now. Although she didn't know much of the details and rarely spoke to Galina herself, Vasily had shared with her about the exchange with Yuri while they'd been at the hospital. Consumed with thoughts about his father, he hadn't been feeling prepared to handle his mother at the time. There'd been too much going on.
"Vasily isn't home right now," Lida explained. "He just forgot his phone here."
"That's okay," Red replied. "Where is he?"
"Well, they're all over at the apartment," Lida replied hesitantly.
"My apartment?" Red asked, rocking up onto the balls of her feet and then back again. She frowned as a picture of the walk-up apartment that had been above the store in Astoria where she had worked so hard came into view. It hadn't been a fancy place and with three boys it had often been crowded, but it had been home. She hadn't thought about it in awhile. Once she'd learned that Dmitri had closed the store it had become even a more unreachable place and she hadn't even considered where she'd go live once she was released, since she and Dmitri had no longer been married.
"Umm...yes," Lida replied. "They're cleaning it out. Deciding what to donate and what to keep."
"They're selling it?" Red asked sharply.
"Well, Papa had been trying to sell the store anyway, right?" Lida asked uncertainly. "And Yuri thought it would go easier now that the upstairs apartment is available."
"Is Dmitri even cold in the ground yet?" Red demanded. "What's brought on all of this sudden productivity? And why would Yuri be doing this without discussing it with me first?" She'd appointed her oldest son trustee of her affairs following the divorce, since from prison she naturally couldn't manage them herself right now. Yet, it still bothered her to have decisions being made without her input, even if logically she knew they were the right ones. She'd never be able to afford it on her own anyway.
"I don't…" Lida took a deep breath. "I stay out of all that. It's not really my business…"
"Right," Red said stiffly. "I'm sorry, it's just a lot. And I haven't been kept updated."
"Is there anything that you can think of you'd like me to make sure they keep for you?" Lida offered.
"What do you mean?" Red asked in confusion. "Everything I own is in that apartment. My jewelry, my books, my photographs-"
"Well, umm...all that is safe," Lida interrupted her. "Vasily's Papa had packed all of your belongings up for you several years ago, I believe. It's all labelled and in boxes. Vasily already moved that stuff to our place to store. I was thinking more furniture or whatever."
Red's heart fluttered again, but it wasn't in a pleasing way this time. She didn't know how to feel. All her life's possessions had been placed into boxes and stuffed away in some closet by her late husband. She supposed it was understandable that Dmitri wouldn't want to live in a shrine of all her belongings when she was going to be gone for years, but she wondered how long he had even waited. Had he gone home after her surrender date and done some house cleaning? Maybe he had enjoyed having the place to himself. It certainly explained why he had taken the divorce so well.
"No, I don't need any of the furniture," Red told her quietly. She didn't even have a home to furnish. "But my other stuff, you have?"
"Yes," Lida reassured her. "It will all be here waiting for you for when you move in with us."
"When I what?" Red blinked. Vasily and her had never discussed where she would live when she finally came home. Logically, she knew she couldn't afford a place of her own and since she wouldn't have been going back to Dmitri even if he had lived, it made sense she'd need to ask one of her sons for help. But it seemed like Vasily had already been planning ahead for that and had consulted his wife, who'd agreed.
Anna must be relieved, Red thought wryly. She could only imagine the tension if she'd needed to go there. And Maxim had only moved into his own bachelor pad recently.
"It's not going to be much longer," Lida replied. "Alexei will still be small. You'll be around for him. It's going to be so good."
"Yes," Red replied faintly, a smile stretching across her lips. She could hear Alexei whimper again as he unlatched. He put up a fight as Lida worked to switch him to the other side, and then she was back on the phone describing the details of Dmitri's funeral and promising to mail her mother-in-law the program Vasily had made for it.
When she hung up a few minutes later, Red was feeling infinitely better. She was happy Vasily had found such a nice girl and in a few years, she'd finally have the chance to get to know her better. Even more, she'd get to share a home with her precious grandson who would still be small. Alexei would be toddling around and she'd be there to watch him grow up. She'd get to love him and enjoy him like a grandmother should.
Red didn't think Vasily was going to feel burdened by her if he was already planning years in advance. At least, she hoped that's what it meant and that he hadn't simply lost a bet to his brothers and gotten stuck with her. It caused her to think of what Gloria had said, about her grown up daughters not even giving her their current phone numbers. It made Red's own fretting about a couple unanswered calls and some tense words with Yuri at his father's death bed seem so small in comparison. Red might not have a husband, but she did have a family to go home to and they wanted her.