Co-written with Johanna-002
A/N: to all the reviewers asking for more Nicky, I took that under consideration, so I hope you enjoy.
"Alright folks start saying your goodbyes," Office Bell instructed into the microphone. She had hardly even looked up during the visiting hour, and still, her eyes were focused down on her magazine.
"Well," Red smiled sadly as she tapped her freshly polished and well-manicured nails on the table top. "I guess this is goodbye."
"I guess so," Vasily echoed. He reached a hand across the table and nudged her chin gently, winking at her as her smile stretched into something genuine. "Only until next week," he promised. "Yuri and Maxim are coming and I'll be back the week after that."
Standing up, she nodded her head in understanding. "I know," she told him as she walked around the table to meet him in the middle. She allowed her son to pull her into a hug, her head coming to rest against his cheek.
"I was hoping all three of you would be able to come," she admitted quietly. She rubbed her hand up and down his back, patting the center of it in the same manner she had when he was a baby.
Vasily rubbed his large hand up and down her spine. "I'll see if we can arrange our schedules and get the same weekend off," he promised her. "I know they really want to see you." He pressed a wet and hard kiss to her cheek.
"Ugh, Vasya," Red pretended to protest, as she felt the scratch of his rough unshaven face against hers. A reminder that he wasn't her little boy anymore, but now a fine man with a son of his own. She squeezed him back tightly, holding him close until she could hear the guard clearing her throat in warning.
Laughter vibrated in the back of his throat as he finally released her. "You used to love when I kissed you," he teased her. Sitting down on the edge of the table, he watched her eyes as they traveled to the table a few rows over where Gloria was saying good-bye to her own kids.
"See," he exclaimed quietly, shaking his head in amusement when Benny tried to dodge away from his own mother's kiss. "Now Gloria's got the right idea," he told her. "Her kid's get a kiss goodbye."
Red smiled, cradling his one hand in the both of hers. She brought it to her lips for a kiss and smoothed his palm out so that it was against her cheek. Her own customary show of affection. She had to admit that it was nice when the gesture was recuperated… even if she literally had to force his hand.
Exhaling a breath, her eyes flickered curiously over the room curiously. Most of the other visitors had already cleared out, but Wanda hadn't yet moved to hurry along the remaining stragglers. So, Red returned her attention back to Gloria, her features softening as she watched Julio embrace her warmly, rubbing her back the same way Vasily had done to her just moments ago.
It was a touching sight, one she felt privileged to witness. Pressing her lips together, Red had to literally bite back a smile at the glow she could see on Gloria's face. She had been so incredibly understanding about the halt in visits with her own children after Dmitri's death. Not that Red had ever expected her to become hostile over it, but still, it made her appreciate the woman's compassion and humility even more.
Over the last couple weeks, Gloria had become something of a pillar of strength for her, the two of them becoming closer than she had even realized they could be. They'd had such very different lives before prison, Gloria's seemingly more colourful than she had originally thought.
Every day, something new about her was revealed, and Red had to admit that she enjoyed the game they'd found themselves in. It had become a morbid little ritual that they indulged, sitting in their office going back and forth over whose life was worse, and why. It wasn't the typical "get to know you" that so many partook in, and that was what made it all the more pleasurable.
Thinking about Gloria and how close they'd gotten brought a rush to her face, one that only intensified when she caught, from the corner of her eyes, Vasily staring at her.
"What are you looking at?" She asked dryly, shifting in place on the balls of her feet.
"Nothing," he chuckled. At the sound of footsteps approaching, he dropped her hand and straightened up. "Hey, guys," he greeted the Mendoza boys. "Ready to go?"
As was customary when visitations ended, and Gloria's children approached, Red stepped away. Despite the fact that Vasily was their ride, and he her child, she could only be within so many feet of Gloria's children.
"Ethical, boundary, something…" Wanda had said once.
Walking over to Gloria's side, her arms crossed over her chest, the two of them watched wistfully as their boys began to make their exit. Saying goodbye was always the hardest part, one you never quite got used to, even with all the practice they'd each respectfully had throughout the years.
"Good visit?" Red asked her, gently bumping her with her shoulder as they made their own exit from the room.
Gloria nodded, smiling at her graciously. "Yes," she answered. "Thank you, Red, seriously." She inhaled a deep breath, her hand rising to awkwardly tuck a strand of dark hair behind her ear. "I really needed to see them, hug them… it's been a long few weeks."
"Yea," Red whispered, nodding her head in complete understanding. "It sure has."
"How is your son doing?" Gloria asked. "You two seemed like you had a pretty good visit."
"We did," Red smiled. "Thanks to you… though you know I hate to admit," she grumbled. "You made me call him and now everything feels… normal again. Yuri and Maxim are going to try and come up next week, so unless something changes, your kids should be coming too."
Gloria nodded, her smiling widening. "They told me. I'm glad they're getting along so well… I was kind of worried Benny-" she paused, choosing instead to shake her head.
Exhaling a deep breath, she clapped her hands together in front of her. "I'm trying to be more positive, we had a good visit, he had a good attitude…" she explained.
Whether she was talking to herself or looking for input, Red wasn't sure.
Gloria cleared her throat and tried once more to give a positive statement about the situation she and her family was in.
"I'm glad they get along so well," she said. "My kids don't have a lot of male role models to look up to."
Red scoffed. "Neither did mine."
Gloria rolled her eyes. "This is why you get into trouble," she warned playfully, hip checking her playfully as they rounded the corner. "You shouldn't speak ill of the dead you know."
Red averted her gaze downward. She knew Gloria was right, but she hadn't been able to force herself to miss him. At least not yet. Her pain and her grief were reserved for her children, for the fact that they'd lost a father, and for the hard choice they'd had to make surrounding his final day, and for her grandchildren, her heart broke for them, knowing that they'd never really get to know their grandfather.
"I think I'm going to go check on Daya," Gloria said softly, as they approached her dormitory. "She wasn't feeling great this morning so I sent her to lie down after lunch."
"Where's her mother?" Red asked.
Gloria shrugged and shook her head at the question. "Either off doing her own thing or driving Daya nuts. I'm not sure which is better. Either way, I think I better go see."
"I don't know what they would do without you," Red said warmly, as an affectionate smile played across her lips. "Both probably more trouble than they're worth but at least they keep things interesting for you."
"We all know someone like that," Gloria chuckled. "Which reminds me...where is your little troublemaker? She didn't want to come see her new brother for visitation?"
Red rolled her eyes. "Since it was his first visit since his father passing I thought I'd see him alone. Nicky was fine with that. She said something about taking Lorna out to the garden to hideout in the corn this afternoon, but I gave Frieda express permission to chase her out with a broom if she tried anything."
"That's not going to deter Nicky," Gloria laughed. "You should have said she could wack her with a garden rake."
"Well, I'm heading out there now before dinner," Red replied. "So, I'll see how she made out."
XXX
Crossing the threshold into the sunshine, Red inhaled a deep breath as the warm sun beat down on her face. The bright and gorgeous weather was a nice change from the dull and gray mood she'd been in the last few weeks, and she welcomed it eagerly. She'd had a wonderful visit with Vasily and it put her in a positive mood for a change to enjoy what was left of the afternoon.
"Hey, Galina, wait up!"
At the sound of her name, Red turned to look over her shoulder. She smiled as she saw Healy trotting toward her. She moved her hand to cover her eyes, blocking them from the sun's intense glare.
"Healy," she greeted him as he reached her side. "How are you?" She asked. Laughter vibrated in the back of his throat as she noted his obvious distress, and labored breathing. "Not so good I guess," she joked lamely.
He patted his hand over his heart. He could feel it drumming wildly against his ribcage. "I'm getting too old for this," he told her breathlessly.
"You and me both," she agreed. Nodding her head in the direction of the garden she silently motioned for him to follow her. "What do I owe the pleasure of this little visit?" She kept her pace slow and steady so that they were walking side by side.
He slid his hands into the pockets of his pants. "Nothing," he said casually. "Well, actually, I just wanted to check on you," he admitted. "It's been awhile since we talked. I noticed your son came to see you."
Red nodded her head, a smile touching her lips. "The other two are coming next week," she told him happily. "They're going to bring Gloria's sons too."
Healy cleared his throat, and nodded. "Yes, I noticed that she'd been getting more visits. How is that working out? I hear her kids are pretty troubled. You know she's had some run ins with Burset and we don't need any more of that kind of trouble on our hands. I just want you to be careful."
Red awkwardly twisted her hands together. "They're kids," she said gently. "It's what kids do. They're really pretty harmless. In fact, Vasily seems to really enjoy them. I think it kind of gives him something to look forward to when Alexei gets a little older."
"That's your grandson?" Healy asked.
Red nodded. "My youngest, and I have the two older kids from Yuri. I was really hoping that Maxim would start to settle down, but he seems to be enjoying his life as a bachelor. He never wanted to commit to anyone. Didn't even want to take a date to the homecoming dance in high school." She pursed her lips and wrinkled her nose in annoyance. "He's pushing thirty-three."
"He's still got time," Healy tried to sympathize.
"Well, I'd like him to meet someone and start a family before I die. At the rate he is going I don't think it will ever happen."
She halted her stride and her eyes narrowed as she caught sight of Nicky emerging from the corn, pulling along a blushing Lorna by the hand. Exhaling in exasperation, Red nonetheless turned her focus back onto Healy. Her current displeasure with Nicky would not deter her from distracting Healy until she and Lorna got their wits about them.
"It will happen," Healy voiced confidently, as he reached out to touch her arm. "He just hasn't met the right girl yet. It's better he waits than marry up with someone he's incompatible with...like we did."
"That's an understatement," Red retorted, biting her lip as she remembered what Gloria had said about not speaking ill of the dead. Sighing, she turned her head towards Healy's hand that was holding her arm. It was only then that she noticed he was no longer wearing the wedding band he had sported since his ill-fared nuptials to his mail-order bride.
"It's really finished then?" she asked. Gingerly touching his bare finger with her own.
"Yes," Healy nodded. "I told you it was."
"I wasn't sure if you'd back out," Red admitted, still staring at his hand. "But I think it was a smart move. A fresh start. That's what all of us need."
She walked forward, her arm brushing out of his grip lightly as she did. She could still feel the pressure from his touch and was aware of the warmth through her shirt. She turned her focus back over to the girls in the garden. Having clearly caught sight of the approaching pair, Nicky had grabbed a watering can and Lorna was intent on scratching a rake against the soil in a way that made it pretty obvious to Red that she had no clue what she was doing.
"Hello, ladies," Healy greeted them, as he and Red approached the wired fence surrounding the garden.
"Hi, Mr. Healy," Lorna replied. "Hi, Red."
"Working hard, girls?" Red asked sharply, raising her eyebrows as she pierced Nicky with a stern glance.
"Thought you could use some help," Nicky chimed back, giving Red her best attempt at an innocent smile. "Especially since Frieda went to her craft circle and left us here all by ourselves."
Nicky winked playfully at Red, watching carefully as she stepped into the garden and reached out to pluck something out of her mass of curls. "So, all this time you've just been helping me?" Red rolled her eyes, as she thumbed a tusk of corn between her fingers.
"What else would we be doing?" Nicky asked innocently, nudging Lorna in the ribs suggestively. At the frown on Red's face, she straightened up and motioned to the leaf Red had pulled from her hair. "The corn is coming along nicely. I just watered it."
"I see that," Red said dryly.
"Yeah, the sun is hot today and I figured it could use it," Nicky replied. "Frieda said you liked to do it yourself but I expected you back before now. Visitation ended awhile ago. I guess you and Gloria stuck around to talk after?"
"Not exactly," Red said gruffly, flicking the tusk of corn to the ground. She watched out of the corner of her eye at the way Healy appeared to bristle at Nicky's words.
"You didn't?" Lorna asked in genuine surprise. "You two seem to spend all your time together lately. I rarely see one of you without the other. I overheard Aleida complaining about it to Maria the other day."
"You didn't tell me about that," Nicky complained.
"We're friends," Red defended herself quietly. "I can't have friends?" She could feel Healy's eyes on her and nervously tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.
Nicky shrugged, either unaware or completely uncaring of how uncomfortable she suddenly felt. "I've never seen you be that friendly with Frieda."
As Red watched a smirk pull across the younger woman's lips, she couldn't help but narrow her eyes, a low growl of warning rumbling in the back of her throat.
"Nicky and I are friends," Lorna said happily. "The best of friends."
"Sure are doll," Nicky smirked, her eyes still focused on her mother. "We talk about a lot together... do a lot together... what do you and Gloria do together, Ma?"
"Ladies, I better head back inside," Healy cut in, and they all looked over to stare at his sudden stony expression. He straightened his spine and looked over at Red with both concern and sadness in his eyes. "Enjoy your afternoon."
"Bye, Sam," Red replied quietly. She watched him walk away and then turned back to fix Nicky and Lorna with a frosty glare that seemed not the least bit amused. Both girls had moved closer together now that the counsellor had left, and seemed entirely unaware of the awkward situation Red felt they had put them in.
"Did you have to taunt him?" she demanded crossly.
"Whoa, Ma," Nicky held up a hand in truce. "All I said was I watered the plants for you. He didn't read between the lines or believe me, we'd all have been treated to one of his famous rants against lesbians. Surely, you've heard them? He goes off about it at least twice a week."
"That's not what I meant," Red said stiffly. She picked up the watering can that Nicky had set on the ground and walked toward the greenhouse to put it away. Behind her back, Nicky and Lorna exchanged nervous looks with one another.
"Maybe give us a few and then I'll come find you, huh?" Nicky whispered to Lorna, who nodded her understanding. Nicky leaned over and kissed her cheek.
"To be continued," Lorna whispered back, before angling her head so that she could catch Nicky's lips in a brief direct kiss. She leaned the rake she'd been pretending to use against the fence and then walked out of the garden and back towards the building. She'd find her other friends or maybe take a shower before lunch. Give Nicky and Red as much time alone together as they needed.
Sighing, Nicky grabbed Lorna's rake and squared her shoulders before following Red into the greenhouse. The door was shut, so Nicky pushed it slowly open and then stepped in. Red had her back to her. Standing hunched over the table, her hands were rummaging over some small potted plants but her movements appeared to be more fidgeting than purposeful.
"Ma," Nicky called out to announce her presence. When she didn't turn around or answer Nicky went to set the rake inside the cage for the garden tools. It was temporarily unlocked until a CO came around to check over everything before it was time to go in.
"Come on, Red," Nicky sighed. "What's wrong?" She stepped up to press against her back. Her chin rested down on Red's stooped shoulder as she watched her stabbing her fingers into a small paper cup of soil.
"If this is you potting seedlings then you've got a very interesting approach," Nicky commented.
"Nicky," Red growled, shrugging her shoulders so that Nicky's head was bumped off of her, she moved away, creating space between them.
"Why's wrong?" Nicky asked again. "Why are you suddenly so mad?"
"Is that a serious question?" Red demanded, keeping her back to Nicky, as she slammed the one cup down and then pulled forward a larger pot.
"We didn't hurt the corn," Nicky began to say. Then she tilted her head back and heaved exhaled loudly. "Oh my God...is this about the comment I made?"
Red didn't respond, but Nicky watched as her hands went to grip tightly to the edges of the wooden work table she was standing before.
"Ma, I didn't mean anything," Nicky said, moving closer to her again. She leaned her elbows on the tabletop and craned her neck so that she could look up into Red's face. Her blue eyes looked stormy, her lips were pursed, but her usually pale cheeks seemed oddly flushed.
"I didn't want to upset you," Nicky told her. Red was still purposefully avoiding her gaze, so Nicky temporarily gave up and turned her head to stare down at her hands on the table instead. "I was just making stupid jokes, being inappropriate, I don't know...it's what I do. Usually, you'd just smack me and we'd move on," she chuckled half-heartedly.
"And maybe I'm underestimating Healy but it's pretty obvious he's smitten with you, so if anything I said just now did make him mad then I guarantee it's me he's got the problem with," Nicky continued. She offered Red a hopeful smile. "Maybe I'm not the only one who's been feeling a little replaced since you and Gloria became closer... 'friends'."
Red glared back. "Why are you air quoting friends?" she asked sharply. "And I haven't replaced you."
"I don't know," Nicky chuckled. "It got you talking."
"But I haven't replaced you," Red insisted again. She brushed her hands together to wipe off some of the residue soil and turned to face Nicky directly on. "Why would you say that?"
"I just feel like it's been all about Gloria lately," Nicky answered truthfully. "I'm not...jealous. I know you've been dealing with some tough stuff lately and I get that Gloria probably understands more about those sorts of things than I do. You're both moms, you've been married...or you've been, at least. Was Gloria married before? I know she's not now…"
"What does it matter?" Red asked impatiently.
"Just thought it would to you," Nicky replied. "I figured it must have come up by now. I could tell you every single person Lorna has ever dated. I know where she lost her virginity and how old she was."
"Probably not old enough," Red rolled her eyes. "Is she still counting Christopher on that list or has she really accepted that that entire thing was a deranged fantasy?"
"Be nice," Nicky said, with a slight edge in her tone. She'd defer to Red on basically anything, but Lorna had always been someone Nicky was especially protective of. She wouldn't even allow Red to criticize her.
"I just don't want you to get hurt," Red admitted quietly. "Lorna isn't stable, Nicky. You know that."
"She'll come around," Nicky said confidently.
"You sound pretty sure of that," Red said dully. She scratched her painted nails against the natural lines worn into the board of the tabletop.
"You can't just do things the easy way for once?" she asked.
"What do you mean?" Nicky frowned.
"Aren't you afraid she'll break your heart again?" Red clarified. "You've known Lorna for a few years now and when did she ever give you the impression that she wanted to be more than friends?"
"Every time she pushed my head into her crotch," Nicky replied cheekily.
"Oh, Nicky," Red grimaced, swatting the back of Nicky's head roughly.
"Hey, you asked," Nicky chuckled, rubbing her hand over the thick mane of hair that had been jostled. "Besides, when did this turn onto me and Lorna, Ma? We're fine. We're happy. I'm not embarrassed if people acknowledge how much time we spend together."
"That is not the same thing," Red said, a defensive edge in her tone. "If people say anything about you two they're not implying anything...inappropriate."
"That's because they probably heard inappropriate in the morning," Nicky smirked.
"And seen it with their own eyes," Red shot back. "Since I have that pleasure in the bathroom nearly every morning. I don't understand how you could even humour trying to connect me having a conversation with someone I work with, into all that mess."
"Wait...mess?" Nicky blinked. "We're not doing anything wrong, Ma. I mean, I'd be all for a more private location but when I try to find one out here you still get mad at me. Now yours and Gloria's private office, think of the possibilities." She laughed.
"That's not funny," Red said coldly. "I don't know what has gotten into you lately, Nicky. You never would dare speak to me like this before, or drag Claudette or Norma into all of this."
"I think Gloria is different than Miss. Claudette and Norma," Nicky said honestly.
Red took a deep breath. "How is Gloria different?" she asked. It was a question she had been wondering to herself for some time now. She felt Gloria was different. It just alarmed her that Nicky seemed aware of it also.
"For one, she's hot," Nicky answered, tapped her index finger against the other. "For another, I don't know...I'm not trying to start anything, but you just look at her differently that you did them. You've known Norma for way longer. How come you didn't go to her after Dmitri died if you didn't want to talk with me?"
"Because she doesn't talk back," Red replied, as though it was the most obvious thing.
"That never stopped you before," Nicky smiled.
Red sighed.
"Or Frieda?" Nicky suggested.
"Frieda killed her husband," Red replied. "What kind of empathy would she have had?"
"I thought she only cut off his dick?" Nicky asked.
"Alright, so," Red shrugged. "She killed him in a different way."
"If you were looking for empathy, then I'm surprised you went to Gloria," Nicky said honestly. "She never struck me as very empathetic. She's always yelling at people."
"I didn't go to her," Red said softly. "She came to me."
"That tells me that she cares about you," Nicky said gently. "And that's a good thing."
"Not if you're going around implying to everything there's something dirty behind it," Red said emotionally. "I should be able to make a new friend without you trying to twist it because you think everyone should be doing whatever it is exactly that you do."
"You don't know what I do?" Nicky asked. "I thought you just said you got a private show every morning."
"Hardly private," Red scoffed. "And don't remind me. I try to block that out."
"Not very well, I see," Nicky replied. "Because you brought it up."
"What even possessed you to ever even do that with another woman, Nicky?" Red asked. She looked puzzled, curious, and a little wary all at once. "I've been lonely in here and I've never considered just…"
"I like it," Nicky shrugged. "It's fun. It's hot… It just feels right. For awhile it was meaningless, just a way to pass the time. But I'm being completely sincere when I say that it's different with Lorna. I'm attracted to her because of the beautiful person she is, inside and out-"
"And how did you know that you were attracted to her that way?" Red asked. "I've thought other women were attractive before but that never meant that I'd want to…" her voice trailed off.
"Well, gee, I don't know," Nicky exhaled. "How did you know you were...I don't know, attracted to men?" she asked awkwardly.
Red shrugged. Suddenly the greenhouse felt much stuffier. "I married one, had three children with one-"
"I asked how you knew, not what you did," Nicky interrupted her. "Was it… nice? Is it what you want forever… I mean Healy…"
Red felt all of the blood in her body rush to her face. She was sure she was as red as her hair. "Nothing is going between me and Healy either," she hissed.
"But you want to?"
"I didn't say that!" Red protested.
"So… then you want to with Gloria?"
"I didn't say that either," she growled, the heat in her cheeks intensified. "Stop putting words in my mouth."
Nicky seemed almost unphased by her mother's uncomfortability. "So… experiment?" When Red didn't seem pleased by that suggestion she said, "Look, maybe the difference between you and me is that I just did what felt natural to me, and you did what you believed you were supposed to do. But now… do what you want to do. No one is going to judge you, least of all me."
"I never said that I wanted to," Red said quietly. She looked more agitated than ever, not at all soothed by Nicky's support.
"Are we going to keep going in circles here?" Nicky asked, tilting her head back in exasperation.
"Yes, because you're not listening to me," Red retorted. "You're the one who brought her up. I never even considered anything like this before you started trying to plant these ideas in my head."
"Fine," Nicky shrugged, holding her hands up in surrender. "Do nothing. You can grow old with me for the rest of your life."
Taking a chance, she leaned over to engulf Red into a hug. She didn't think Red would ever reject affection from her, no matter how annoyed she was, and Nicky was not to be disappointed. Red's arms came up to hold her tightly.
"I love you, Ma," Nicky whispered, planting a kiss on Red's cheek just like Vasily had earlier that day. Red smiled and leaned closer to her. Her tireless daughter who confused and frustrated only to switch into being loving and adorable as soon as she sensed she'd pushed all the buttons Red had to push.
"We'll be out of here someday," Red said, almost to herself more than Nicky.
"We'll get an apartment together?" Nicky asked hopefully.
"Yes," Red smiled, stroking her hair back gently.
"We can even get a dog!" Nicky exclaimed happily. "Name it Rootbeer. Ohh, or maybe Daisy...that's pretty."
Red pulled back from their embrace, her hands coming up to cup Nicky's chubby cheeks. "No dog." She eyed Nicky with a look that only mother's have. "But I might just have to get you a muzzle for that mouth of yours."
Thank you for reading.