"Look, Nicky, Red's over there," Lorna pointed out, motioning over to the garden.
Nicky let the door to the building close behind her as she stepped outside into the glimmering sunlight. Hurrying a couple of paces so that she could match Lorna step for step, Nicky couldn't resist a smile as she glanced over in the direction that Lorna was pointing.
"I figured as much," Nicky replied with a chuckle. She shook her head, making her massive curls bounce and brush Lorna across the face.
Red had been a hard person to keep track of lately and though a part of Nicky was annoyed about that, she mainly was just amazed at how quickly her mother had switched gears from avoidance to almost constant togetherness. Sure enough, Red was not alone outside the greenhouse. She was sitting on a rickety wooden bench with Gloria right beside her, and nobody else nearby.
"Gloria is with her again," Lorna stated unnecessarily.
"Gloria is always with her," Nicky replied. "You'd think there was something going on between those two."
"Careful," Lorna giggled. She linked her arm in with Nicky's and gave her an affectionate squeeze. "Don't you remember how mad Red got the last time we suggested she and Gloria would make a cute couple?"
"Huh, yeah," Nicky chortled, rolling her eyes dramatically. "She got all defensive and then it seemed like she started avoiding Gloria just because she didn't want to give me the satisfaction of being right."
She wasn't bitter, if anything it amused her. For all the grief Red had given Nicky about daring to suggest the possibility of something more with Gloria, she was certainly enjoying the benefits now of having finally taken her advice.
Nicky still didn't know what exactly had transpired the night of the movie, when she saw Red and Gloria sneak out together. She finally had to accept that she probably never would know. Red had been irritatingly tight lipped about everything that had occurred since then. Nicky could tell she was still wary of admitting how strong her feelings for Gloria were, and yet she was way too happy to do a very effective job at hiding them. The other women around them might know better than to mention what was obvious to anyone with eyes, but nobody could deny the change that had come over both Red and Gloria. They had become an inseparable pair, spending most of their time in private conversation with one another, and sneaking off to be alone whenever the opportunity arouses.
"You want to go say hi?" asked Lorna.
"Yeah, let's go bug them," Nicky nodded, a mischievous smile twisting her pink lips. "After all, they owe everything to me anyway, right?"
"Everything?" Lorna blinked. "I thought all you did was make Red mad by outing her in front of Healy?
"Alright, maybe I went a little too far with the jokes one time," Nicky reckoned, steering Lorna in the direction of the garden. As they trekked across the grass towards the two older women, neither Red nor Gloria showed any sign of noticing anybody in their vicinity. They were looking at one another, hanging on each other's every word, and it was obvious that they could have just as well been on their own planet. Even the wired fence surrounding the grounds could not inhibit them right now.
"However, I'm also the one who got Red out of whatever depression she was in a couple weeks ago and convinced her to go meet Gloria at the movie in the first place," Nicky added. "It was so obvious how much they both liked one another, but they'd never have admitted it without my help."
"Doing the Lord's work," Lorna teased. "I always knew you were an angel, even if you're sometimes a little bit rogue. It sure is nice to see Red happy again though."
The joy radiating off of Red lately was unprecedented, but nobody but herself was aware of how deep and hard won her contentment ran. She was satisfied with her choices and in the knowledge that she ultimately had done the right things for herself. However, she'd be lacking a conscience if she didn't feel at least a little bit guilty about what had transpired with Sam Healy. She couldn't talk about that with anyone. Not with Gloria, not Nicky, and especially not with him. Avoidance seemed to be the only way forward, and though Healy might not understand why, the lack of eye contact or dialogue between them made it clear that things had changed in their relationship. Walls had been built and soon enough he would notice the closeness between her and Gloria which could only mean one thing: that he had been right all along, Red had used him, and now he had lost a friend.
That wasn't a pleasant thing to admit about herself so Red avoided thinking about him as much as she could. She channelled all of her attention onto Gloria and concentrated on soaking up every new thing about her that was revealed. Discovering Gloria and learning what made her her, was more fascinating than anything Red had ever uncovered in any book. It was unfortunate that she had hurt Healy in the process of getting to this point, and she knew it was cowardly not to have properly concluded things to him before moving on. However, it had been a hell of a ride reaching this level of self-acceptance and Red was not going to be dissuaded by anything or anyone else. A new journey was just beginning and she already had a feeling that it was going to be the most satisfying element of the brand-new life awaiting her.
Sitting out in the garden, currently vacated aside from themselves, it was easy for Red to forget where she was and the circumstances that had put her in here in the first place. She was even temporarily able to push thoughts and concerns for her children and anxieties for the future from the forefront of her mind. All that was real right now was the woman beside her, sharing the history and beliefs of herself that she felt ready to be open about. The woman who was always eager to kiss her whenever they happened to be away from lurking eyes, and who touching had begun to feel like the most natural thing in the world. As she listened to Gloria talk, Red could not keep her hand from crawling back and forth across the firm warmth of Gloria's thigh. She could never be close enough to her and both of them were completely unaware that they had company until the shadows of Nicky and Lorna were completely upon them.
"What are you girls doing here?" Red exclaimed in surprise. She consciously slid her hand off of Gloria's thigh and over to her own lap, but not before giving her an apologetic pat.
"It's prison, Ma. We all live here," Nicky replied cheekily. "You two are going to have to wait a little bit longer to get a place of your own to keep everybody else out of."
"And knowing you, you'd still come barging in whenever you pleased," Gloria retorted, bringing her hand up to shield her eyes from the sun.
"If you lock the door that shouldn't be a problem," Red teased, a blush burning into her pale cheeks as Gloria consciously pressed her leg against her own. "Nicky manages to lose her hairbrush every other day. I don't think she'll be much better with a key, will you honey?"
"You have no faith in me," Nicky complained, kicking her boot into the softly tiered soil. "I don't lose my hairbrush always, I just like the natural look. You always said it was cute."
"You're adorable," Red reassured her. "But you already know I think that. What do you really want?"
"Why do you always presume I want something?" Nicky frowned.
"Because you always do," Gloria replied. "You come visit us in the kitchen after nearly every meal to try and get extra of anything we have that is remotely edible."
"No way," Nicky disagreed, shaking her head. "You two have been bolting out of there so fast lately you're almost impossible to catch. Were you even at breakfast this morning?""
"I was doing Inventory counts in the back," Red informed her. "And you slept late, I assume…"
"Actually, for your information, Lorna and I were up early," Nicky replied. "We just had some business to attend to before we came to breakfast."
"Nicky!" Lorna exclaimed, blushing to her roots while Red rolled her eyes.
"You should have just said you were sleeping," Gloria replied. "What's the matter with you?"
"I'm honest," Nicky replied.
"She's a little girl with a big mouth," Red said, shaking her head though she looked bemused. She and Nicky were past the point of having any boundaries. As far as Nicky was concerned, oversharing was only designed to bring them closer. Red could only imagine what Yuri, Maxim, and Vasily would think if they ever heard the unfiltered way Nicky spoke to her. They never would have gotten away with talking like that, but Nicky had always been something else.
"You love me for it," Nicky said confidently.
Red nodded as her blue eyes twinkled up at her special girl. "Even when I don't know what to do with you," she admitted. "What kind of trouble are you girls up to now?"
"Same as everybody else," Lorna replied. "Enjoying the sunshine. Piper was running track earlier and now she and Alex are sitting together in the shade. Maybe we'll go hang out with them?"
"Yeah," Nicky nodded her agreement. "We'll leave you two alone...the way you seem to like it lately."
Without another word she leaned over to kiss Red's cheek affectionately and then she and Lorna turned to hurry back the way they had come to join their friends. Red and Gloria watched them leave in amusement, neither of them could ever deny that being alone was something they had been savouring ever since the night of the movie.
Gloria reached over for Red's hand and dragged it back over her own lap. She had been enjoying the traces Red had been drawing over her thigh with her fingertips. It still seemed incredible that their relationship had come to this. The attraction had been there but Gloria had never really expected them to cross over the lines of friendship. It just didn't seem right that something so wonderful could be found in such a discouraging environment, yet it had happened and now Gloria couldn't get enough. She didn't have much desire to display their relationship to everyone else and didn't want to share their business, but it had still bothered her to have Red create distance between them as soon as she'd spotted Nicky and Lorna. After all, those two girls were hardly examples of discretion. Red herself had admitted she'd lost track of how many times she'd had the misfortune of walking in on them together in the bathroom.
"You're such a pushover when it comes to that girl," Gloria teased, turning her head so that she could kiss Red's warm cheek and then the dimpled corner of her mouth. "Were you as indulgent with your sons?"
"Probably not," Red replied automatically.
Her fingers had resumed their stroking over Gloria's thighs as they sat there contentedly together. Without conscious thought, she began tracing out the letters of her name against the beige fabric of Gloria's pants. G-a-l-i-n-a….it was incredible the way being with Gloria was making her feel more like the woman she once had been before she'd gotten sent here. Even in the newness of their relationship, Red was already aware of Gloria helping her get back what she needed while they embarked together on a new beginning, that would include the best parts of themselves reconciled. They were on their way, and even if they hadn't yet put into words that this was something that would last well beyond the walls of Litchfield, it was something they both understood.
"Well…" Red contemplated after a moment's pause. She tapped her finger thoughtfully on Gloria's knee. "I suppose I was quite indulgent of my boys too. I was stern with them but my whole day-my whole life-centered around their wants and needs, and they knew it. The difference with them was that once they became teenagers, they naturally began to gravitate away from me and need me less. I can't imagine a time when Nicky won't need me, but maybe it's just different with daughters?"
"Not in my experience," Gloria scoffed, leaning over to rest her head against the top of Red' shoulder.
"Mmm," Red murmured, tilting her head against Gloria's and shutting her eyes. Despite knowing Gloria actually had four children, the situation with the older two still remained quite the mystery. She wasn't sure what to say that could help make Gloria feel a little better. Estrangement from your own children was one of the most painful things a person could endure.
"My sons always seemed to want me more than the girls did," Gloria sighed. "Valentina and Carmen could take me or leave me, I usually felt pretty irrelevant to them, to be honest. But with the boys...even if things aren't great, I still feel like I have more of a chance with them now. Something to look forward to... "
"There's lots to look forward to," Red whispered, giving Gloria's thigh a reassuring squeeze before crawling her fingertips over until she could reach to grasp Gloria's hand.
"I just hope they haven't outgrown the need of having a mother before I get out and get the chance to have at least a few years at home with them," Gloria confessed.
"They won't," Red said confidently, her lips twisting in guilt that her words about her own sons had brought up Gloria's own insecurities. "If anything, I think they'll need you more than the average child when that day comes."
"You think?" Gloria asked uncertainly.
"Julio and Benny are going to be so thrilled to have you home that they probably won't let you out of their sight," Red said encouragingly, as she turned her head so that she could press her lips to the side of Gloria's head for a kiss.
"Benny will probably try and use my homecoming as an excuse to skive of school," Gloria giggled. When Red tried to kiss her forehead again, Gloria tilted her head up so that she could catch her lips this time instead.
"You think?" Red whispered, before brushing Gloria's lips with her own a second time.
"Definitely," Gloria nodded confidently. "He used to use the excuse of loving and missing me so much to stay home from kindergarten."
"And did it work?" Red asked.
"Sometimes," Gloria admitted. "The little guy has always known exactly what to say."
"To flatter you?" Red asked.
"Or push my buttons," Gloria replied. "It depends what he is in the mood for. I warned you that he isn't easy."
"You've said that several times," Red reminded her.
"Okay...just, he won't be," Gloria chuckled nervously. "Last time I spoke with Lourdes she told me he was driving her up the wall and complained about his attitude for the full twenty-minute phone call."
"According to Vasily, Benny is a complete delight whenever he drives him," Red replied. "I guess the difference between him and your aunt is that Vasily isn't telling him what to do."
"There's that," Gloria agreed. "And also, I think both he and Julio benefit from being around older male figures. That's another thing that has really been lacking in their lives."
"Were they close with your boyfriend...Artichoke?" asked Red innocently.
"Artichoke?" Gloria's eyes widened. "Who?"
"Wasn't that his name?" Red asked in confusion.
"Uhh..no" Gloria replied, as she began to laugh. Artichoke...Arturo would have disliked that almost as much as Lourdes calling him "Lizard Lips". Arturo had never had much of a sense of humour about himself and sometimes it was hard to discern whether he would find something funny or insulting, depending on the day. His moods changed liked the winds, leaving him unpredictable and nearly impossible to figure out.
The good sides of him. The parts that had made Gloria fall in love with him in the first place…her sons had definitely enjoyed. Julio and Benny didn't know their own father. Arturo had been the man to carry them around on his shoulders, throw them up in the air, and play-wrestle on the living room floor when they were all watching Saturday morning cartoons. It was hard enough for Gloria to discern between the sides of her former partner that had made him alternate between a superhero and a monster. She could only imagine it would be even more difficult for children to sort out their feelings for such a complicated person, and she had never had the opportunity to ask them. She'd been arrested before she could see if they were okay, and the next time she had been allowed to talk to them they'd had even bigger fish to fry than Arturo's anger. And then he had died anyway.
She didn't know how to put all of that into words for Red just yet though. She didn't think she could understand and it was an irrelevant road to go down with her anyway, in Gloria's opinion. They were what mattered now and focusing on that was all Gloria wanted to do. Arturo had cost her a lot in the past. She wasn't going to let his ghost interfere on this perfect afternoon, with someone she was falling in love with. What she was feeling for Galina Reznikov was much stronger than how she had ever felt about her former boyfriend, or anyone else that had preceded him.
"I don't really think about him much," Gloria said, trying to detract from the original question as she crossed her leg around Red's so that they were linked. "And he was only in the boys lives for a short while in the grand scheme of things. They were close enough but I don't think they spare him much thought anymore either, or even remember him too well. They were still little and he wasn't a good man anyway..."
"You mean not good to you?" Red asked quietly.
Gloria pursed her lips and then leaned her head back against Red's shoulder so that she wouldn't have to look at her. She wanted to open up and be completely truthful, but she also didn't want to linger on a past that she felt had no bearing on the present.
"Sometimes," she whispered. "We had good times too...sometimes he blew me away with how romantic and devoted he could be. Other times, he was just...mean. And then the mean side of him began showing up more and more frequently until it seemed like that was all he was."
"Why didn't you leave?" Red asked, as though the solution was obvious. Her own marriage had hardly been a walk in the park and though it had often left her feeling frustrated and dissatisfied, she always figured if she'd been truly mistreated that she would have walked away without a backwards glance.
"It's not always that simple," Gloria replied softly. "It's hard to explain if you haven't been there...I wanted to leave. I was trying to leave….and that's basically why I wound up in here."
"What?" Red asked in astonishment.
"Food stamp fraud," Gloria said simply. "They threw the book at me in court and tried to make it seem like I was banking big bucks by deceiving the government, but all I was really trying to do was make enough money to pay the bills and save up to leave town with my sons…"
"Oh, Gloria…" Red whispered.
"You don't just end a relationship with someone like Arturo by telling him it's over and changing the locks," Gloria said dryly. "I was going to run away...and then I got sent here instead."
"And he died?"
"In a fire trying to steal the money I'd been hiding," Gloria said, clearing her throat loudly as her voice began to crack. "He knocked over one of about a hundred candles Lourdes had lit up in the back room. She's a bit of a nut and those candles were a tragedy waiting to happen, but Tia still claims it was the spirits of Santeria giving Arturo what he deserved."
"Well, I don't know if I believe that but either way, I'm not sorry it happened," Red growled.
Gloria nuzzled her cheek against Red's shoulder and sighed. She wasn't sorry that he was gone for good but she never would have wished such a death on anyone. It was complicated and it was in the past.
"It's all over now," Gloria said simply.
"Yes, it is," Red agreed, reaching a hand up to run her fingers through Gloria's short brown locks. Her eyes scanned out across the yard. In the distance she could see Nicky hanging out with Lorna, Alex, and some of the other girls by the picnic tables. Nicky's arms were waving around expressively and she had one knee resting on the bench, with all eyes on her. She was clearly the center of attention, entertaining them all, as only Nicky could.
Some work men were over by the fence and they both turned to watch them as they sat silently together, the full impact of Gloria's story still weighing down heavily on both of their hearts. Red caressed Gloria's hair one more time and then drew her arm down the length of Gloria's arm and then around her completely, hoping her presence could be exactly what Gloria needed it to be. She wanted to be everything she could be for her.
"Do you believe everything happens for a reason?" asked Gloria.
"No," Red answered bluntly, without hesitation.
Gloria laughed. "Galina…"
"I think a lot of things happen that make absolutely no sense," Red replied honestly.
"Or we just aren't capable of understanding the reason why yet," Gloria countered, "but sometimes things just line up and something incredible could have never existed if not for the bad stuff…. like you and me."
"Well, I'll always be grateful for finding you," Red admitted softly. "And Nicky too...what would I do without that girl? I wish we hadn't all wound up in prison though just to cross paths. We're all from New York. Why didn't we run into one another at a cafe or something?"
"I could have come into your market one day for a coffee or something," Gloria smiled. She reached her hand around Red's shoulder and leaned forward to kiss her lips. "Do you think you would have noticed me?"
"How could I not?" Red asked. "Aside from being a Latina in the Russian market, I've always noticed you in here...even when you bothered me."
"Bothered you about things I had absolutely no control over," Gloria rolled her eyes up at the sky. "But that's okay...I'll still keep you. I don't want to ever know a day without you again."
"You won't ever have to," Red reminded her. "I feel the exact same way."
Gloria sat up straighter and nodded her head slowly.
"And you don't think that will change once you're out of here?" she asked, looking Red directly in the eye. "You're going to go home and be out in the world, and I will still be in here for a little while."
"You know that won't make a difference," Red replied.
Gloria compressed her lips anxiously. "I'm scared that it will," she admitted. "I know we both want this to last, but what if it can't? I haven't sugar coated anything...you know Benny is going to be a challenge and when I get home, my life needs to be about getting him and Julio back on track. You'll be okay with that?"
"Gloria, I'm a mother too," Red reminded her. "Of course, I'm okay with that."
"And money…. finding a job," Gloria stroked her hair back and took a deep breath. "F*ck... sometimes I don't even know where I'm going to begin once I'm out."
"You're not going to be doing it alone," Red said firmly. "I can promise you that. And I will always try to be whatever you need me to be…. because...I love you."
To hear those words, keenly felt in both hearts but verbalized for the first time filled Gloria with a calmness where mere seconds before there had been strain. She could feel every part of her body begin to relax as she reached for Red's hand and squeezed it tightly. Red might be cynical about there being a plan and a reason for everything, but Gloria knew in the depths of her soul that everything that had led up to this moment, the good and the bad, had been preparing her for this love and this life. They were going to be okay. Even better, they were going to be happy.
"I love you, too," Gloria whispered. Her hand reached up to caress Red's cheek as she drew her in closer for a kiss.
It was as though they never could get enough of one another. Her taste, her touch...all of it left Gloria breathless and needing more. They stayed connected, breaking apart only when they needed air. Gloria linked her arms around Red's neck in a hug and as she began to focus in on the rest of the setting around them, her eyes widened in alarm.
"What the…"
"What's wrong?" Red murmured, pulling back so that she could look to see what had caught Gloria's attention.
"What are they doing?" she wondered aloud, as she watched over a hundred women come thundering by, over to the fence where the work men had just cut a huge hole.
Red's eyes immediately flashed over to where she had last seen Nicky and the others. The picnic table was vacant and nobody was around there anymore.
"Where's Nicky?" she asked worriedly.
"Probably already through the fence," Gloria laughed, standing up and reaching for Red's hand to pull her along. "Come on, let's go!"
"What?" Red exclaimed.
"Maybe they're expanding the yard, maybe they're letting us go free for all we know," Gloria said, as she began leading the way towards the fence where the last few stragglers were disappearing through. They couldn't punish everyone in the camp after all.
"I'm pretty sure there's a lake down there," Red said happily, getting in the spirit of things as they quickened their pace. Together they slipped through the massive hole in the fence and down the slope into the woods where they could see the bright blue of water flashing invitingly below.
"You want to go swimming?" Gloria asked with a smile, squeezing her hand excitedly.
"I'll put my feet in," Red compromised, but she was getting excited too.
She and Gloria reached the water and wasted no time before slipping their shoes and socks off, and rolling the bottoms of their pants up. The sun on the sand made their feet warm and glimmered off of the water, that was filled with jubilant inmates having more fun than they had in years. The water was cool but refreshing, and felt so good on her feet and calves that Red almost was tempted to go in even further. She may as well have…
She caught sight of Nicky who was completely drenched to the top of her head, and the girl wasted no time splashing over in the water to engulf her mother in a hug.
"You'll dry," Nicky told her cheekily, "I just needed to come over and tell you that I love you."
She didn't wait around for a reply, flashing Red a smile before diving back under the water to swim over to where Lorna and the others were waiting. Red shook her head as she looked down at her damp shirt from where her daughter had hugged her, but she didn't really care. They had all come so far and gotten there together. Nicky was happy and healthy, Gloria loved her and they were going to have a future together. She had a family waiting at home that already was accepting Nicky, and even Gloria's sons, as their own. Life was good.
Thank you to everyone who stuck with this story to the end.