I do not own Doki Doki Literature Club, nor do I own any of the characters portrayed within this story.
"Oh, well here, I'll give you my zip-up and I'll take the pull-over." I start to take off my jacket, and hand her it while I take the hoodie from her and slip it on.
She immediately starts writing something on the board, a little fast.
What was on your arm?
What?... Oh my god. My tee I had on underneath. I forgot I wasn't wearing a long sleeve. She must've seen my scars. Dammit, how could I be so stupid?! I didn't want to worry her about this right now.
"My arm? Nothing, why?"
Nick…
"What?"
Take off the pull-over.
I looked at her one more time, giving her a pleading look, and she nods at me. 'Well? Take it off!' I can imagine her yelling at me in her voice.
She makes a 'come here' gesture with her hands, and nods again, as if saying 'get on with it'.
I walked over to her and reluctantly but compliantly took it off. She immediately went for my left arm. She took my arm and turned it over… She caught me.
She looked it my arm, her mouth was ajar from shock, and she looked at me. I felt really guilty, and looked away. She pulled me a little closer, inspecting my arm. She ran her fingers over my wrist, then my forearm, and that when she noticed the highest up ones. She pulled my sleeve up and looked at the most damaged cuts. She kept running her hands over them, like she was trying to heal something that couldn't be healed. She kept giving me innocent looks.
Then she did something kind of odd, she gave my arm a hug. She looked at me one last time, then grabbed her white board.
Nick… Why did you hurt yourself? How long have those been there?
She had tears in her eyes.
I didn't want to lie to her, but I couldn't tell her the story. I was straight up with her.
"I've had them since… Mom and Dad passed. I'll tell you the whole story when we're out of here, okay? I promise. Don't worry about it right now."
Okay, but I'm holding you to that…
I reached down for the pull over, but she waved her hands at me to stop me.
Don't hide them.
I gave her a confused look, but again I complied. I set it aside.
She patted the side of her bed and scooted over.
"You want me to sit on the bed with you?"
She nods 'yes'
The bed was actually pretty large, considering it was a hospital bed. It was probably about the same size as your average double-size bed, so her and I would easily fit on it together. I figured that these beds were more likely for the… larger patients, but it must've been one of the only ones they had at the time. I got on, and she sat off to the left. I checked the time. It was seven-o-clock.
She starts writing again
Is it okay with you if I go to bed? I'm kind of tired, it's been a long day.
She writes "long day" into the corner to save space.
"Yeah, that's okay. Believe me, I know. Did the nurses say whether it would be okay for me to stay or not?".
She nodded yes. She curls up in a way where she has the jacket draped over her, and her legs are wrapped around mine a little. It was unexpected, but I let her. She puts her hand or my arm, but hesitates.
"It's okay, go ahead." I reassure her.
She takes it into a hug, and starts to drift off to sleep. I put my other hand up behind my head, and try to get some sleep myself.
I woke up to a bright light coming through the hospital room window. Hospital? Oh my god, it was real. What happened yesterday actually happened. I checked the time: 7:02. We slept almost twelve hours?! I could see Natalie doing that, mainly because its Natalie, but also because she's healing. But me? I guess I was pretty stressed out yesterday. I decided I'd check on her, until I realized how close she was to me.
She was facing me, but I was on my back. Her head was practically touching mine, and I could feel her breath on my neck. Her legs were wrapped around mine, and she had a death hug on my left arm. I figured she hadn't ate in a while, so I ought to at least wake her up and see how she's doing.
"Hey…" I nudged her lightly.
"…hmm?..."
Wait… What? Did she actually make noise?
"Natalie?" I nudged her again.
"…huh? What is it?" she said faintly, as she opened her glossy blue eyes.
"Nat, your voice is back!" It was quiet, but I was so happy to hear it again.
"It is?... It is!" She exclaims, but in a little cough. She wrapped her arms around my neck, and I could feel circulation reflowing to my arm.
She hit the 'call nurse' button. If I knew her any better, she was either gonna ask for food, ask to leave, or both. She showed up about a minute later.
"Is everything alright?" She asked.
Natalie nodded her head. "My voice is back! Can I leave yet? Also, can I get something else to eat? I'm starving."
It was both. I know her too well.
"Well that's good! I'll get you another cup of applesauce, but I'm not allowed to decide when patients leave, I'll go fetch your doctor and get him to look you over." She headed back out the door.
"I'm so happy I got my voice back!-" She said loudly. She completed her statement, but started coughing afterword.
"Don't push yourself too hard. Keep it easy. We don't want you doing any more damage to yourself." I told her.
"O-Okay…" She gave me a pouty look, but she knew I was right.
The doctor knocked, and let himself in. I got up from the bed so he could get a closer look at her.
"Hey there, how are you feeling?" He asked
"Better! It's still sore, and I definitely won't be able to eat solids yet, but I got my voice back!" she said
"That's what the nurse had told me, I'm glad to hear that. Why don't we change your bandages?" He looked back at me, and back to her. "Is it okay for him to see?"
She nodded her head, and he proceeded to remove her bandages. They were reddened underneath with old blood. That must've been uncomfortable for her, I'm surprised she hadn't said anything before. Her neck wasn't bleeding anymore, but was bruised for sure. It was a purplish blue underneath her jawline, obviously where she was… hanging… yesterday morning. I'm so happy it wasn't any worse. He used a surgical cloth with some stuff on it that I could only assume was disinfectant, and rubbed it over her wounds. She grimaced at it, but took a deep breath and dealt with it. I was surprised she was handling it so well. He talked to her while he was working on her.
"You know, you have a really good boyfriend, he's a keeper." He said
That caught us both off guard. She looked over at me, blushing, and looked back over to him.
"O-Oh, he's not my boyfriend…" She trailed off.
He stopped and looked back at me. I smiled and rubbed the back of my neck, looking down, embarrassed.
"Well I wouldn't say that considering the way you two were last night." He chuckled.
He saw us? We were sleeping for a while, and we went to bed quite early. He must've come to check on her, but didn't want to wake us.
He could tell we were both pretty embarrassed.
"Haha, I'm just playing with you guys. But really, if it wasn't for him, you may not be alive right now young lady." He said.
I could tell that comment kind of made her uncomfortable. She shifted a little, and looked at me. I forgot about how recently she acquired these injuries, and what exactly had happened. She obviously still wasn't okay with everything. I'll have to talk to her when we get home.
"I-I know. I'm really lucky to have him…" She said. I smiled at her.
He finished up, and re-wrapped her bandages. He turned to me.
"She's all good to go. You can take her out whenever she's ready." She gasped, let out a little cough, and stood up from her bed, obviously happy to hear that. "Make sure she leaves in a wheelchair. She obviously doesn't need one, but it's just policy here that everyone leaves that way." He told me.
"Thank you. Is there anything else I should know?" I asked
"Make sure to change her bandages one more time tomorrow, after that she won't need them. She'll know when she's ready for solid food, but for now, just softer things. Smoothies, applesauce, ice cream, that kind of stuff. Make sure to stop by the front desk, I let them know you'd be on the way out, and told them to give you something." He said.
"Thank you so much." I shook his hand.
"You're welcome, son. Keep a close eye on her, okay? I enjoyed her company, but I don't want to see her back here again." He pointed at her, but gave her a playful smile before waving us out.
"What a nice guy. I didn't get his name…" I said
"Dr. Frazier" Natalie chimed in.
"Dr. Frazier… I'll remember that. Well, are you ready to go?" I said to her.
"Yep, I just have to get changed."
"Alright, I'll go find you a wheel chair."
She went into the bathroom, and I grabbed a wheel chair off of one of the nurses. I came back to the room, and she was dressed and ready to go. I noticed she had my jacket on. She sat down, and I wheeled her through the hall. I think she was happy to be out of that room. We made it to the front desk.
"I'm here to check out Natalie Patterson?" I said.
"Ah, yes. Dr. Frazier said you'd be coming. What will be your method of pay?" The desk woman asked.
Method of pay?... That's right. Her mother wasn't here, nor did she know. Without her here, Natalie had no way of paying.
I got my wallet out and handed her my card. Natalie looked up at me and realized what I was doing. She stood up.
"Nick, no! You can't!" She exclaimed.
"Stop." I said firmly. I wasn't mad at her, but I wasn't going to let her talk me out of it. "I got it, it's okay. Your mom isn't here, there's no other way." I said.
"B-But…" She trailed off. She sat back down, defeated. She was clearly bothered.
The desk woman handed me back my card. She asked me if she could speak to me separately. I followed her a little bit away from Natalie, but not before assuring her that I'd be right over where the desk woman pointed.
She handed me a pamphlet, giving various therapist offices within the area.
"Dr. Frazier wanted you to have this. She will be okay with her injuries, but she still attempted suicide. There could be something wrong with her mentally, and he would like you to go over this with her sometime soon and pick an office out."
"O-Oh, okay. Thank you."
She made her way back to the desk. I put the pamphlet in my bag, and walked back over to Natalie.
"What'd she give you?" she asked.
"I'll show you later, okay? Let's get you home first."
"Okay…" She didn't fight me on it, although I totally expected her to.
I wheeled her out to where my car was, and she got in the passenger side. I gave her the key so she could start the car and get the heat going. There were wheel chair returns at this place, similar to how grocery stores have shopping cart returns, except it was inside. I returned the chair, and made my way back to the car. I got in and looked over at Natalie. She had the seat reclined back to where she was laying down, but she was facing away from me.
"Is everything alright?" I asked
She was quiet, but eventually responded.
"…I didn't want you to have to pay for that. I'm so sorry, Nick. It had to be expensive…"
"It was the least I could do. Don't worry about it, I wanted to pay for it." I was just trying to make her feel better. But, she was right. It was expensive. I wasn't lying though. I really didn't mind paying for it.
"What do you mean, 'It was the least I could do'?!" She snapped, mocking my voice. "Not to be rude, but I'm still breathing because of you. You've done so much for me and now you're doing more. I don't deserve all of this treatment."
I was quiet at first. I didn't really know how to respond. She had never spoken to me this way before. It was like seeing a completely different person…
"Why do you keep thinking like this?" I said. "Don't you remember what I told yesterday in the hospital? You're worth all of my time. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you. You deserve all of it and more. Even if you feel you don't deserve it, or if you think you're being a nuisance to me, I'm doing it because I WANT to, not because I HAVE to."
She's quiet, taking in what I said, but finally responds.
"… I-I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled at you…"
"It's okay Natalie, I didn't take it that way. You've been through a lot the last twenty-four hours. Let's just get home, okay? We can talk about anything you want when we get back."
She rolls back over, and looks at me. She seems like she wanted to cry but was holding it in. I put my hand on her leg.
"Everything's okay" I reassured her.
She nodded, and I put the car in reverse. I backed out of the spot we were in, and started the drive home.
I drove for a little bit, and looked back over at her. She was sleeping. It amazes me how much this girl can eat and sleep. Speaking of which, that nurse never did come back with anything for her to eat. She hasn't eaten since yesterday, and it was just a cup of applesauce. I hope she has something at home.
We pulled into her driveway, I tried to wake her up, but she wouldn't budge. I decided I might as well carry her in.
I opened up the passenger door and picked her up and carried her inside. I set her down on the couch, and shut the door behind me. When I turned back around, I caught her looking at me.
"Hey! You weren't even asleep!" I said to her.
"hehe… I didn't want to walk inside…" She admitted quietly.
I shook my head, but smiled. I sat down beside her, and looked around. Just yesterday, I found her in this house upstairs, and she was hanging from a beam upstairs by her neck. It didn't even feel like a day ago, it felt like so long ago. I was getting mixed feeling to be back in this house. I was happy to be in it again, and especially with her in it. Alive…
She nudged me with her leg. "You're spacing out." She reminded me.
"Oh, sorry." I remembered about her eating. "Did you want anything to eat?" She nodded. I got up and went to her kitchen to see what they had. She had some pudding cups in the fridge.
"Is pudding okay?"
"Yeah, that's fine."
I handed her the pudding, along with a spoon. She got it down surprisingly well.
After she finished it, she nudged me again.
"I have kind of an… odd question for you…"
"What is it?" I asked
"Well… I don't…" She looked at me again "I don't want to be here right now… and I don't think I'll be able to be by myself… is it okay if… I-I slept over tonight?"
I was actually really glad she asked, because I was going to ask her myself if I could sleep over her house, because I didn't want her to be alone anymore. But her coming to my house would be even better.
"Of course you can! I'd love to have you over." I made sure she knew she was welcome, she seemed nervous to ask. "You're going to have to get some stuff together though if you're spending the night, though."
"R-Really? Thank you!" She hugs me. "But… could you come to my room with me? I don't want to go in there alone."
"Yeah, I'll go with you." I assured her.
She got up, and made her way to the stairs. I followed.
We were at the door to her room. She walked right in and started to get her things together. I was surprised at how calm she was at doing this, because I couldn't say the same for myself. When I walked in, I was just frozen in place. I looked around the room and felt sick to my stomach. It was haunting being in there, and seeing the rope still on the floor, cut. The chair from her desk kicked over on it's side. The last time I was in here, she was hanging from the ceiling. I thought I was about to lose her. I was convinced it would be the last time I'd see her alive. I was a little choked up.
Natalie had everything she needed, and looked at me. She could tell I was troubled to be in there. She grabbed my hand and walked me out of the room, shutting the door behind her after shutting the light off. She walked into the bathroom, grabbed what toiletries she needed, and came back out, leading me down the stairs.
"I'm sorry you had to see that…" She said.
I was in a trance. I snapped out of it.
"O-Oh, it's okay. Are you ready to go?"
"Mhmm" she quickly replies.
We walk back over to my car, and I drove it back over into my driveway. It was only a house over, but I thought it would be rude to leave it in Natalie's driveway. I felt more comfortable having it in my garage anyways.
"You could've just left your car at my house." She said.
Welp, too late for that.
"It's alright, I like having it over here anyways." I say.
We make our way inside, and Natalie is quick to make herself at home, immediately sprawling out on my couch. I checked the time. Three-thirty. Was it really that late in the day? I felt like just a few minutes ago I woke up on the hospital bed next to Natalie.
She gets up. "Can I use your shower? This may sound gross, but I haven't had a real shower since the day before yesterday… hehe." She does a little pose where she presses her two index fingers together, clearly embarrassed to say that.
"Yeah, sure. You know where it is. Just be careful not to get your bandages wet. You may not want to wash your hair, at least this once." I respond.
She heads upstairs, and I hear her close the bathroom door. I figured I would make her up something to eat. Or… consume? I checked out what I had around the house. I had some stuff, but mostly stuff she couldn't eat. But, I did find something I think I could make work. I had everything to make a strawberry-banana smoothie.
I took out the blender, and put five ice cubes in, then added five strawberries. I got a banana, cut it into small pieces, and added it. On top of all of that, I put half a cup of strawberry-banana flavored yoghurt on top. I set it to the 'smoothie' setting, and let it go for about a minute. This wasn't the first time I made this actually. It was my favorite smoothie, and I made it regularly, which is why I had the stuff to make it. I don't think Natalie has ever had one before, or at least one of mine.
After it was done, I set it in the fridge, that way it would stay cold until she was done in the shower. My stomach rumbled. I hadn't eaten anything since I found her. I must've been so focused on her, that now that I was finally alone it was hitting me. I grabbed another batch of stuff to make the smoothie and made myself one as well.
I took a seat on the couch, kicked my feet up, and turned on the TV. The couch reclined in certain spots, but it was also one of those couches that is shaped like an 'L', and I was sitting on the spot that went out like a little bed. I don't normally watch sports, but I just switched it on to college baseball. I used to play when I was younger, so it at least entertained me.
Natalie came backdown stairs. She had on some shorts that came up a little distractingly high, and a short sleeve pink shirt. She fixed up her hair a little, with her signature bow on top. She came over and sat next to me, eyeing my drink.
"Woah, whatchya got there? That looks so good!" She said
"You wanna try?" I ask, holding the glass of my smoothie out.
"A-are you sure?"
"Yeah, go ahead. I don't mind."
She takes a sip from the straw I had in it, and her face lights up.
"What is this?" She asks.
"A strawberry-banana smoothie. I made it myself." I smile at her.
"It's so good Nick! Why have I never had this before? I wish there was more…"
"Well lucky for you," I get up from my seat and open the fridge, pulling out the other glass of it I made. "I made extra". I put a little straw in it, like my glass had.
She gasps, and happily takes it from me. She takes a sip of it.
"This may be my new favorite thing. Ever." She says.
I laugh a little. "It's just a smoothie, Nat."
"But it's a smoothie you made, and that makes it special!" She smiles at me and takes another sip. I was happy to see her happy for once. It's almost like she's back to her normal self.
But she isn't. That isn't it.
I'm going to get it out of her later.
"Well, I'm glad you like it." I smile back
"It feels nice when I drink it, too. The coldness of it soothes my throat, and it's easy for me to drink. It's like you're healing me in more ways than one! You're a genius Nick."
"Thanks! That's why I made it. But really, you're giving me too much credit. I make these all the time, haha." I chuckle. "So what do you want to do while you're here?" I ask.
"I'm not sure." She stops and puts a hand on her chin, thinking. "Do you still have that thing we used to play games on? The Xbox? We could play one of the games on there. Or a board game. Or we could watch a movie." She lists off.
That's when I realized it was Friday night. We missed Thursday and Friday because of being in the hospital.
"We can do any and all of those if you'd like, we don't have a time limit. But we are going to have to do our homework at some point." I said
"That's right… Let's play a board game first though. What games do you have?"
I got up and went to the closet we kept the games in. I yelled back to her "Let's see, we have Monopoly, Scrabble, Boggle, Jenga, Uno, and some other things."
"Oh, I like Jenga!"
I pulled it down from the shelf and set it up on the coffee table in front of the couch. We set it up, and played a couple of games, all of which I won. She may have liked the game, but between you and me, she wasn't very good at it. She always tried to go for risky moves that would mess me up in the long run, but would fail to remove the piece properly, and it always ended in her defeat. I could tell she wasn't going to let up until she beat me, so I threw a game to let her win.
"HA! You lose!" I didn't think she was this competitive.
"Not like I won the last four games or anything…" I look away, teasing her. She kicks my leg.
"Don't be mean! I beat you fair and square." She said.
"Uhuh, sure you did." She and I laugh.
She was quiet, but perks up again. "Do you wanna go play the Xbox now?" she asks.
"Sure, go ahead up to my room, I'll meet you up there."
"Okay!" She runs up the stairs, as if she were racing me. I put the game away, and stow it away back into the closet. I make my way upstairs. This felt like how we hung out when we were younger…
I walk into my room, and she was on my bed , rolling around on it for some reason.
"Your room is so clean! And you bed is soooo plushy." She says.
"Uh, thanks I guess. What game did you wanna play?" I ask.
"Can we actually watch a movie? I don't feel like playing anything else. Plus, it's getting late and dark out, and that's the perfect time to watch movies!"
"Yeah, we can."
I start getting Netflix ready. I figured now would be a good time to talk to her about what's been going on.
"But first…"
She gives me a questioning look. I sit down on the bed next to where she was laying.
"…you're going to tell me what's wrong. And what caused you to do what you did yesterday." I finally say, poking her leg as I say it.
"O-Oh…" She won't meet my gaze. This is probably going to take some convincing, and a lot of effort. But she needed to tell me.
"Come on, Nat. No more hiding things. You need to tell me."
She was quiet for a little bit, but she finally says something.
She sighs. "This was so much easier before you joined the club…"
"What do you mean?" I ask.
She starts to get teary eyed. This is going to be hard for her.
"It's alright, take your time." I assure her.
"I just wanted everyone to be happy…"
I stay quiet, listening to her.
She gets a more serious look, and takes a deep breath. "I-I'm just going to try and get it all out…"
I sit back, putting my weight on my arms, watching her. "Go ahead." I said.
"The literature club wasn't always how it seems. Naomi and Ada fight pretty often because they have two completely different views about literature, and they refuse to listen to the other person. It stresses me and Marissa out and just brings the atmosphere down. I thought I would, you know, bring a new member in to bring everyone else's spirits up." She looks at me, and I nod. "And I figured, you know, 'hey, I haven't hung out with Nick in a while, I'll see if he wants to join' and luckily, you did. Although I kind of used you, and didn't give you a choice, which made me feel terrible. And the first day went by okay! But I wasn't sure how you felt. I was finally hanging out with you, and seeing you every day, just like how we used to. But the rainclouds wouldn't go away! Then the second day came, and I got to go to the club with you again, but you kept worrying about me, and I didn't want you to forget about the club, I wanted you, and everyone else to be happy! And when I saw you finally talking to Ada and Naomi, making them happy, and everyone was getting along, I wasn't happy. My heart was hurting, and I couldn't tell why!" She's crying now, speaking between sobs. "I was trying my best, and everybody was happy, but I wasn't. I couldn't take it anymore. I told Marissa I didn't feel good, and I ran home. The second I got home, I typed in on my computer: 'how to tie a noose, for idiots'. I couldn't take it, I wanted the rain clouds to go away, and there was only one way I knew they would…" She pauses, then sits up. "But then, you knocked on the door. I contemplated ignoring it, but my heart told me to open the door. You were worried about me, and were checking up on me again. I was so glad that we were talking again like we used to, I loved having your company, but hated that I was taking time out of your day, wasting your time. I thought to myself, 'Why does he always worry about me? I wish he wouldn't waste his time on something so hopeless.' I was having such a nice time with you, but when I woke up, I saw your note, and realized what I had done. I made you do too much. I wasted your time, and couldn't take it anymore… and-and… and then-"
I immediately grabbed her, and pulled her into a hug. She was crying into my shirt, I ran my hand up and down on her back, comforting her. I almost wished I hadn't asked, because then she wouldn't be crying, but I had to. She needed to tell me. This was good for both her and I. I couldn't believe these words were coming out of Natalie's mouth.
"I-I've had this my whole life, Nick!" Her muffled voice yelled from my shirt. She started coughing again.
"I-It's okay, Natalie, clam down. Don't hurt yourself." I said.
We just sat there, hugging each other for what felt like forever, until she finally said one last thing,
"Nick… I've… I've always loved you…"
I looked down at her, she was looking up at me, but quickly buried her face back into my shirt when she saw me look down at her.
I… I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I had no words. Now was the time. I spoke in the moment, with no thought behind my words.
"I-I love you too! I always have!" I exclaimed.
She was hugging me around my abdomen, but she looked up at me, locked eyes with me, and threw her arms around my shoulders, causing me to fall back, and her to be on top of me.
After a moment, she spoke up again.
"I don't understand… this is supposed to be one of the happiest moments of my life… why don't the rainclouds go away?..."
She may not, but I think I was starting to understand.
"It's okay, it's just going to take some time, that's all. We'll fix it."
We were both quiet. Living in the moment. I spoke up again.
"Nat, you said you've had this your whole life?..."
She sniffles, and nods her head.
"Would you say you feel depressed?"
"I guess that's a good way to put it… but it's heavily reduced when I'm with you." She says
I think for a second, then respond.
"Maybe you have depression?..."
She's quiet, but then responds, hugging me tighter.
"I-It's possible…"
"Well, I was going to bring it up later, but… Dr. Frazier had the desk woman at the hospital give me a pamphlet with a whole bunch of therapist offices to look at. Do you want to go see one tomorrow? We have school off."
"W-We can look at a few." She responds.
"Good. I'm proud of you." I say with a smile.
I laid there holding her for a little longer, even though we had that whole conversation in a hug, and then let go of her. I went through everything in my head that she said, and figured I'd tell her how I feel now.
"Nat, I've always liked you. I just never knew you felt the same." She looked at me, and rubbed one of her eyes. I continued. "Why do you think I reacted the way I did when I found you? I've loved you ever since I was a kid. As we grew up, I thought you didn't like me, or that I was just getting in the way. I was distant because I thought you didn't feel the same… I'm sorry if it seemed like I was ignoring you or anything, but… I would do anything, and everything for you. I couldn't imagine life without you. I've… I've already lost Mom and Dad… what would I do without you?" I felt a tear roll down the side of my cheek, but I kept my cool. "Now that you've told me all of this, I can't help but feel like it's partly my fault… Natalie… promise me you'll never hurt yourself, or pull another stunt like that again."
She hugged me again, and said quietly in my ear:
"I promise."
She let go of me, and I let go of her. We both looked at each other, blushing.
After both of us just poured all of our emotions out, we both just sat there, staring into each other's eyes. It was such a tense feeling in the air, like we both didn't want it to end, and at the same time wanted it to stop immediately. She was the first to break the silence.
"So… uh… what movie you want to watch?" She said with a smile, wiping her eyes, giggling.
(Just in case some of you were wondering, I intend to keep this story mostly wholesome. Sure, there will still be some high and low moments, however I hope to keep it not too stressful. I'm a lame hopeless romantic, but that's the way I hope to take this. As always, thank you for reading, I'm very open to any criticism, and see you in the next chapter!)