I had thought high school was terrible before. Now, a part of me longed for that kind of tedium, for instead I found myself living out some kind of horrible daily emotional roller coaster.

Get to school tense. Find myself unable to concentrate on any class for long without trying to seek out the mind of someone near Bella. Watch her participate in her classes, chat quietly with classmates luckier than I, perhaps even catch a glimpse of her myself. Spend lunch in such a state of heightened anticipation that I usually left a full ten minutes early for class. Wait for her arrival. Inhale her scent, which I got more used to yet still burned, as she sits beside me and gets out her notebook without even glancing my way. Feel my heart sink as disappointment sets in. Write notes for her anyway. Hit rock bottom as she gathers her things at the bell and leaves without a word. Drag myself through my last class. Head home, increasingly morose. Spend the night hunting or listening to music or occasionally even hanging out with my siblings, and somehow managing to work myself back into something approaching hope as the sun rose on the new day.

Repeat.

Emmett rolled his eyes at my "emo." Esme's thoughts turned sad whenever she looked at me. Jasper stopped trying to use his powers to lift my mood. Carlisle was clearly waiting for me to confide in him, but I couldn't bring myself to do so. Even Alice, who had been my original confidant, lost interest over time when she had no more visions involving Bella and merely wished I'd be her brother again.

Rosalie was the worst. After days of successfully eluding her, she managed to corner me about a week after Bella told me never to speak with her again. Rosalie had been watching Bella and insisted that almost every action and word out of her mouth was tinted with deception and deceit, and she demanded that I tell her why this was. I refused. Rosalie termed this a betrayal and her thoughts and words to me became increasingly acidic.

I tried to get over Bella. Really, I tried. Every day, as I sat in biology with her as unresponsive as stone beside me, I decided to not help her with her notes today. And yet, every day, as soon as she hesitated or began to get tense, I'd find myself picking up my pen. I guess I was trying to prove something. To myself, or to her, I wasn't sure.

"And just how long are you going to continue pining after that girl?"

It was toward the end of February. I had just sneaked a glanced at Bella across the cafeteria, but hadn't been sneaky enough. Rosalie, always ready to jump on me these days, had noticed.

"You know, if she's really bothering you this much, we could just get rid of her."

I barely had time to snarl at the veiled threat before Emmett laughed and slung his arm around Rosalie. "None of us is going to lay a hand on her, Rose. We can't kill Eddie's first crush! Even if he is all emo about it."

Rosalie sniffed and picked at her food. "I think it would be better if Eddie just went back to moping over nothing for eternity. This having an actual object to fixate on is really obnoxious."

I found myself calming down despite myself. Jasper wasn't taking sides in this fight, but he knew what a danger it could be for us to start arguing in public.

Rosalie also relaxed, but shot a glare at Jasper. He shrugged. "Not the time or place."

"Fine." Rosalie got up and stalked out of the cafeteria.

I quickly followed suit. Rosalie was the most angry of my siblings, sure, but the others liked to take turns chiding, teasing, and complaining. I wasn't about to give them another opening, not today when Rosalie had already started on the topic.

I sat in my chair, waiting for Bella's arrival. Her scent, by now familiar yet still enticing, pooled around me. She got out her notebook. The bell rang.

Mr. Banner began handing out the test we'd taken the day before, his mind full of his plans for the next unit, some of which he still had to prepare for class today. He intended to give the class a few minutes to chat while he finished. Great. Mike always took the opportunity to sit at the table in front of Bella and talk to her when we had class breaks. I hated it when he did. It wasn't fair that that shallow, hormonal boy was allowed to talk to her when I wasn't!

Mr. Banner passed our table, dropping the last two tests in front of me and Bella. I put mine away immediately. I didn't have to look to know I got a perfect score.

Bella gasped beside me, the soft noise almost lost in the chatter that was blooming in the classroom.

I turned toward her before I could remember to think better of it, and found her staring, shocked, mouth hanging open, cheeks slightly pink, at a test which had a big red "A-" circled at the top.

What's he looking at, anyway?

I looked away from Bella, trying to seem casual about it, as Mike came up to the table. His angry, jealous thought made me angry in return. Of the two of us, I had far more cause to be jealous. It wasn't him who Bella positively refused to talk to.

I watched out of the corner of my eye as Mike seated himself familiarly on Bella's side of the table. "What'd you get?" he asked, turning his mind away from me to thoughts of Bella instead.

Bella laid her sheet flat facing him, her blush intensifying as she smiled wider. I took some satisfaction in seeing Mike's face fall a tiny bit - he'd gotten a C. "I guess all that extra studying paid off?" I gathered from his mind that Bella had been turning down invitations from him by saying she needed to study hard to catch up.

"Mmm-hmm." Was it my imagination, or had Bella glanced my direction as she answered?

Mike sat for a moment in silence, gearing himself up for something. My eyes widened as I read in his mind what he was intending. "Bella?"

"Yes?" Bella looked up from her test into his eyes. Eye contact was not usually something she did. My hands curled into fists.

Mike's words came out in a rush. "I was wondering... who are you planning to ask to the spring dance?"

Bella was silent a moment, the blush fading from her cheeks. It seems she knew as well as I did that he was asking for... personal reasons. "Mike," she said gently, "I really don't do dances."

"I know, but..." Mike's thoughts briefly recalled a similar conversation, that time about the Valentine's Day dance. "I thought..."

"And," Bella added more softly, "I know that Jessica asked you to that dance this morning."

Mike's face fell. The obnoxious boy had given Jessica a maybe, in the hopes that his one true crush would finally ask him out. "But... I wanted to get to know you better. You've been so busy."

"How about this," Bella said, speaking in a measured tone I recognized as coming from her script, "next time you have something planned, I'll make sure I can come."

Mike heard this gladly, making up an outing on the spot. "I think a bunch of us had plans to go to Port Angeles this Sunday."

Bella nodded slowly. She seemed to be thinking of something else. "Sounds good. Can you pick me up?"

"Of course! I think we were planning on leaving around two."

"I'll be ready."

"Great!" I watched with narrowed eyes as Mike made his way back to his table, a spring in his stupid step.

"You should see your face."

Bella's voice was quiet, and somewhat hesitant, as if teasing was something she wasn't used to doing. I instantly forgot Mike to look at her. She was looking down at her paper, her finger tracing the A-. "Thank you for your help," she whispered.

"Oh, you're talking to me now?" I said lightly, striving to keep my voice casual.

She winced, her cheeks pinking again. "I suppose I deserve that. Look, Edward - " I was disgusted with myself for feeling a tiny thrill when she said my name - "I - I'm sorry."

I let out a breath as Bella continued talking, her voice sinking lower as Mr. Banner began to call the class to order. "I know I've been very rude to you these past weeks. I just - I panicked that day. I was so afraid of..." she shook her head. "Never mind. But thank you. I'm sure I wouldn't even be passing this class if not for your help."

And then she picked up her pen and hunched over her notebook.

I sat stunned as Mr. Banner began his lecture. Half of me was still angry - I'd waited patiently and helped her for weeks to get a vague 'thank you and I'm sorry'? - but the other half, the half that had kept me hopeful this whole time, was elated. She'd talked to me. She'd tried to tease me. She'd talked to me.

And maybe, my hopeful side pointed out, I should give her the benefit of the doubt. She obviously felt bad about how she'd been treating me. She'd mentioned being afraid. Of me, perhaps; after all, I had wanted to kill her the first day we'd met.

I was distracted from my thoughts by the sudden lack of activity beside me, a sure sign Bella was confused. I reached for my pen but, before I could figure out where Mr. Banner was and start writing, Bella turned her notebook toward me. She'd written a question at the bottom of her notes.

Well. That made it easy. Instead of guessing what had tripped her up and how, I merely answered the question in my own notebook, writing a few quick sentences to explain the concept that she was having trouble understanding. She scribbled a "thanks" and continued her notes.

I couldn't suppress my rising spirits throughout the rest of the class. She needed my help a few times more, and each time wrote a question instead of waiting for me to figure out what she needed.

Mr. Banner wrapped up the lecture with a few moments to spare before the bell rang. I sat, tense and waiting, as Bella packed away her notebook. Normally she would get up and leave class, not even waiting for the bell, but today when she finished she sat still, staring at the table.

"Thanks again," she said.

"You're welcome."

"I'll - I'll see you tomorrow?" The commonplace phrase came out like a question.

"Yeah." I couldn't help smiling. "See you tomorrow."

Bella glanced my way, blushed hard, and ran for the door as the bell rang.