Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the characters. I'm borrowing them.

Hiiiiiiiiiii!

If anyone is still even following through with me, I love you! I love you, I love you, I love you!

I know it's been four years, and I know that's an insanely long time to have my own head up my ass, but at least it's out (mostly) and here we are! I can't promise you regular updates, but I promise (I mean it this time!) that it won't take me another four years to post the next chapter!

I need to say a HUGE thank you to well, everyone, really, but especially a few lovely people that I adore more than words can possibly say.

First and foremost, my wifey, the lovely Shae that puts up with me even though I know I'm driving her insane. She never tells me to go away even though she rightly should. My new beta, Midnight Cougar, who is amazing and I need her around to edit all my RL speeches because damn. I'm worse than I thought.

Then there's the entire team over at FicSisters. They are some of my biggest cheerleaders and I owe them more than words can say. I also love them all just as much.

Now, without further ado… FINALLY!

There was a tiny little elf band in my bedroom.

That was clearly the only explanation when I heard a tinny, annoying sound emanating from somewhere on my bedroom floor. Groaning, I tried to pull my pillow over my head and curled up into a ball.

"What is that sound?"

I sat up quickly, immediately alert when I heard a voice that wasn't only in my head, and looked down to see a very, very naked Edward Cullen.

I automatically licked my lips, my eyes trailing the length of his gloriously toned body as he twisted onto his back and raised his arms above him to stretch. The flimsy blanket covering us fell a little at the movement, revealing the hip bones I didn't spend nearly enough time with last night and almost sighed. My mouth watered, and I barely registered the fact that the noise had stopped. Memories from the night before rushed back and I slumped down onto the bed again, watching as he rubbed his eyes, ran a hand through his hair and tongued his lip ring.

Merry Christmas to me.

"Was that your phone or mine?" he grumbled; his eyes closed as he turned to me and pulled me against him.

Phone. Right. Not a tiny little elf band.

"I don't know." I shrugged and buried my face in his neck, tangling my legs with his and grinning into his skin as he began to rub my back. "I don't care."

And while there was a very persistent nagging at the back of my mind-asking me where this was really going to go from here; telling me he'd just gotten dumped from his girlfriend of forever; wondering where that antique, engraved silver platter with my still beating heart was hiding—I found that for the moment, I honestly didn't care.

Especially when last night was fireworks on the Fourth of July, and the ball dropping on New Year's Eve. Last night there were sparks and things that I'd never felt from anyone else, and I really didn't want to think about what might happen when we left my bed.

He laughed sleepily, my bones turning into jelly as he broadened the circles on my back. I moaned softly, pressing into him and smirking as he promptly stopped his circling and dug his fingertips into my back.

"Good morning," he mumbled, trailing his hands down to cup my ass.

I hummed, throwing my leg over his hip and rolling on top of him. "Good morning, indeed."

I leaned down, shifting enough to rub myself against him, and tilted my head to nip at his lip ring. He squeezed my ass one more time before his hands rested on my hips, shoving his bottom lip out to drag it across mine.

Part of me couldn't believe I actually had Edward Cullen in my bed. The other part of me—the part that wanted him; to hell with who he'd previously dated-didn't give a damn and demanded I stop thinking about the hows and whens and give the man a proper good morning.

I kept rubbing on him, trailing my lips down his cheek and onto his neck. He shifted against me, moaning quietly as he turned his head. I made my way down his body, his hands falling to his sides and I looked up at him as I made it to his hips. I trailed my tongue along his hipbones, my eyes fluttering closed briefly. This man was beautiful.

I opened my eyes again, looking up at him as I ghosted my lips over him. His eyes immediately met mine, bright green and hopeful.

"Are you sure?" he breathed.

"About what?" I laughed, resting on one elbow as I took him into my other hand. The sharp breath I heard him suck in made my stomach jump and I licked my lips. "This?"

I licked him from base to tip, grinning satisfactorily when he moaned and fisted his hands in the sheets.

"Shit," he managed, already breathing hard. I raised an eyebrow at him, slowly moving my hand up and down. "You're…" He trailed off as I casually sucked his tip into my mouth, my eyes still on him.

Truly, there was almost no better sight than Edward in the midst of sexual satisfaction. The cool, calm, and collected bartender I lusted after on a weekly basis was completely defenseless at the hands—and mouth—of me.

I thought this was the first that I actually felt powerful.

It was glorious.

I shifted a bit, slowly moving my mouth down and circling my tongue around him. He moaned loudly, his mouth hanging open as he twisted the sheets in his clenched hands. My hand followed as I moved back up his length, spurred on by the mix of hisses and groans when I scraped my teeth gently along him.

"Jesus, I… fuck, that's… yes."

I hardly contained the laugh I felt bubbling up when I went back down, relaxing my throat and moving my hand. I closed my eyes when he hit the back of my throat and my name fell from his lips.

Best. Christmas. Ever.

I swallowed once and he whimpered; his hands suddenly on the back of my head even as I moved back up. He grabbed my chin and I looked up at him again.

"As much as… as wonderful…" He sighed, his hooded eyes narrowing as he sat up. "More."

He grabbed me under my arms, yanking me up and underneath him in one quick movement.

Why was the act of him throwing me around like a rag doll suddenly so fucking hot?

"How much more?" I asked breathlessly, my legs immediately opening for him.

Not that it took too much to begin with, but it took a lot less effort now.

His mouth crashed onto mine, his teeth scraping my bottom lip as he pulled one of my legs up and threw it over his shoulder.

"A lot," he whispered, sliding into me.

I arched into him, throwing my head back into the pillow as I met his thrusts with my own. Fuck, it was even better than the first time. The fireworks were back, the New Year's Eve countdown had started, the electricity screamed through my entire body, and the sounds coming out of my mouth were quite possibly not even human. I dug my nails into any available inch of skin I could find on him, my head thrashing back and forth as he pushed on my leg and managed to go deeper.

"Bella," he murmured, one hand grabbing my breast and squeezing.

I squeaked, twisting my hips to the side and actually able to see the fireworks going off behind my eyes.

"Shit," he breathed, and slammed his mouth on mine, nipping at my lips.

I grabbed his hair, fisting my hands in it as I felt the beautiful knot in my stomach starting to tighten.

"Yes," I whispered, throwing my head back and pushing his face into my neck. "Fuck, yes."

"Tell me how it feels," he growled into my ear. "Tell me how I feel."

"Fireworks," I moaned out, my feet tingling. "Countdown."

"Come on," he growled again. "I'm so close, Bella."

I dragged my fingernails down his back and then up again, my toes curling as he leaned back as much as I would actually let him and found the same spot that sent me over the edge last night. He added his thumb to my clit, and I was gone. The grand finale started behind my eyes, the ball began to drop, and I rode the wave with him, opening my eyes long enough to see his head thrown back and his mouth moving.

There might have been sounds from both of us, but all I could hear was the rushing in my ears. He fell on top of me and I grunted, our chests working against each other. He lazily began to press small kisses to my shoulder, finally ending with one to the juncture of my neck and jaw.

"Merry Christmas," he whispered, his lips and lip ring grazing my heated skin.

I laughed weakly and reached up to run my fingers gently through his hair.

"Merry Christmas to you, too."

"Was that your Christmas gift to me?" I smacked the back of his head and he grunted, leaning back slightly to look at me. "No?"

I laughed again and rolled my eyes, shaking my head. "No."

"Do I still get breakfast?"

"I might have a few Pop-Tarts in the cabinet."

He stared at me. "Do you have eggs?"

"They may or may not be expired."

He blinked slowly, and I barely contained my sputter of laughter. Confused and maybe annoyed Edward was almost as good as sexually satisfied Edward.

Almost.

There were a hell of a lot more perks for me when sexually satisfied Edward was around.

"What self-respecting woman doesn't have eggs?"

"A self-respecting woman who has been working her ass off since somewhere around Halloween."

He twisted his lips to the side, sighing heavily and nodding. "Fine, fine. You're forgiven."

"Ah, well, thank the Lord. I couldn't have lived without Edward Cullen's forgiveness."

"Smart ass," he grumbled, dropping his head back onto my shoulder.

His hand crept across my stomach and curled around my waist, pulling me close to him and allowing him to bury his nose in my hair. I closed my eyes and smiled contentedly, draping my arm over his and tapping my fingertips against his knuckles.

This was nice. Amazing, toe-curling sex and then easy, carefree banter before snuggling was something I could definitely get used to.

"What kind of Pop-Tarts?" he mumbled.

I laughed loudly. "Brown sugar cinnamon."

"You have good taste in Pop-Tarts."

"That's not the only thing I have good taste in."

I wiggled my ass against him, and he groaned.

"Don't tease me," he whispered, his mouth ghosting over my ear.

I shivered, forcing my fingers in between his and squeezing his hand. "Do you really think I'm not going to deliver?"

"Can't seem to get enough of you," he returned, his tongue tracing the shell of my ear. The annoying ringing was back and he sighed, dropping his forehead onto my shoulder. "I think that's mine."

"Screw 'em."

"You are Scrooge."

"No, I'm the Grinch. You're Scrooge. Get it right."

He chuckled and squeezed my hand, rolling away from me, onto his back. I sighed heavily and looked over at him once, before sitting up and scrubbing at my face.

"That's definitely your phone."

"I know," he grumbled. "I'm trying to answer it by telekinesis." I laughed and reached behind me to squeeze his thigh. "Hey, now."

I grabbed the blanket and he whined, dramatically shivering as I stood up and grabbed his coat. I threw it at him and wrapped the blanket around myself, running a hand through my knotted hair.

Oh, I had to look just fucking amazing right now.

Tilting my head as I looked back at Edward, searching through his pockets to find his now beeping phone, I shrugged.

He didn't seem to mind it much.

"Ten missed calls? Fucking hell."

"Parents?"

"Tanya," he whined, rolling his eyes as he tapped his screen.

My heart sunk and I grabbed my robe, the blanket suddenly not feeling like nearly enough coverage.

It wasn't that I forgot Tanya existed. I just didn't let myself think about the repercussions this would cause if it ever got out, or if it continued.

Was it going to continue? Did Edward want more with me?

Tanya was someone I considered a friend, and I'd slept with her ex-boyfriend. Twice.

I nearly scoffed and shook my head at myself, pushing hair behind my ear and looking around on the floor for anything that would distract me.

I was a shitty friend.

"All within the past half hour. Did you know I talk to her more now than I did when we were living together?"

I laughed weakly and tied the robe securely around my waist. "That's weird."

He looked over at me then, his head tilted to the side. "You okay?"

"Yeah." I waved him off before crossing my arms in front of me. "Fine."

He set down his phone and sat up, completely comfortable with being naked and exposed while I stood there in a robe, trying to get my thoughts to slow down to 100 miles per hour instead of the 1000 they were currently going, and still feeling as if I wasn't wearing enough clothing.

Fuck. His phone was taunting me. Shouldn't the screen be going black now? How was it even still on? Was his battery super powered?

I wanted to laugh. This entire situation was so fucked and I was officially losing my mind.

"Talk to me, Bella," he said softly.

The concern in his voice was enough to kill me.

I sighed and ran my hands through my hair, grunting when they caught on a few knots before finally giving up and dropping them to my sides.

"What is this?" I asked bluntly, motioning between the two of us.

I watched his shoulders slump as he hung his head, and felt my heart fall from my stomach to my feet. He leaned forward to rest his head in his hands and I swallowed hard, trying unsuccessfully to pull my robe possibly into my body at this point.

I guessed the silver platter was actually this moment instead of a physical thing.

"Bella, come here," he said quietly, looking up and waving me over.

My legs moved of their own accord, and before I knew it, I was sitting on the bed next to him, watching as he turned and pulled me into him, resting his forehead against mine and closing his eyes.

Fuck me. This clearly wasn't going to go somewhere good.

"I don't think I can give you what you deserve."

I swallowed hard and forced a smile on my face, just in case he decided to open his eyes.

"Yeah, of course." I shook my head and backed away from him, awkwardly resting my hands on his leg. "That's totally understandable."

His eyes opened, and I smiled brightly at him, nodding.

"What?"

"I mean, it's…" I motioned toward his phone. "It's Tanya. I mean… I'm… I'm not her."

I laughed and it sounded a little insane. By the look on his face, he might've thought the same.

"That has nothing to do with it." He grabbed my hand, squeezing it tight. "You do know that, right?"

"You guys just broke up, you know? I mean, maybe it was only…"

"I meant it when I said I've thought about you."

I snapped my mouth shut and sat back a little.

"What?"

He laughed. "You really think I wouldn't have? Bella, you're beautiful."

Despite the situation, I felt my face heat up.

"And, you know, maybe things with Tanya and I weren't as perfect as I wanted them, or thought them to be. They obviously weren't, since we're in this situation, but looking back on a lot of the things we fought about, I guess there were more cracks than I thought." I stared at him and he shifted uncomfortably. "I wasn't perfect, either, and I don't think starting something serious with someone as great as I know you are is a good idea right now."

"Okay, so we can just chalk it up to a few mistakes?"

"Not a mistake," he reacted, shaking his head. "Definitely not a mistake."

What the…

"Okay, so… what?" I asked, laughing sarcastically. "It's not a mistake, but you don't want anything more?"

"You're still my friend, Bella. I don't want that to ever change."

"Do you see your friends naked and underneath you often?"

"I don't make a habit of it, no."

I sucked in a deep breath and leaned back a little.

"So what's going to happen here? Are we going back to being friends, hanging out every once in a while, and seeing each other every week at the bowling alley?"

"I don't want that to be the only times we see each other. Things are different now."

"Yeah, you know about the mole on my back."

He laughed, and I loosened up enough to chuckle.

"More of a reason to not change anything."

I tilted my head. "What?"

He seemed nervous as he looked down and started playing with my fingers. I swallowed hard again and waited for it, willing my heart to keep its place in my toes—since that was where it had decided to comfortably settle after all this shit—as I waited for him to say what was probably going to make things that much harder for me.

"Can't we just keep doing this?" he asked quietly, looking up at me from under his eyelashes. "This is perfect, right?"

I took a deep breath and pressed my lips together.

Could I keep sleeping with him and being okay with not having more? I had never been the kind of girl who only wanted to have a good time. I was always, always, always a relationship girl, and that always got me into trouble.

Maybe this would keep me out of it.

"Okay," I breathed, licking my lips.

"Really?"

"Really."

"So… I can do this…" He leaned in and kissed me quick, "…and it won't be awkward?"

"Not awkward."

"Hmm," he hummed, leaning in again.

I smirked as he guided our still-joined hands toward his lap.

Then his phone rang and I groaned, throwing my hands up at our sides and forcefully kissing him back, quickly, before I got up off the bed.

"Pop-Tarts it is!"

His laugh followed me out the door and I admittedly slowed down once I heard him answer the phone.

"What in the hell is so important, Tanya?"

I tiptoed out of the doorway, shamelessly eavesdropping as I pressed myself to the wall outside of it. He was in my apartment; this was totally allowed and it made perfect sense.

I was going to keep telling myself that until the words stopped making sense in my head, and then maybe I'd believe it, too.

"No, I have no idea where your damn bag is. Why would I know where it was in the first place? I haven't lived in that house in over three weeks."

I twisted my lips to the side, tilting my head and sighing inaudibly. I tensed when I heard rustling fabric, then relaxed when I heard the springs of my mattress squeak as he sat back down.

Eavesdropping was nerve-wracking. That wasn't going to stop me, of course.

"Why am I being an asshole? You call my phone a hundred times in the past half hour and then accuse me of stealing a purse, Tanya. I have a penis! I have no need for a fucking purse!"

I snorted quietly, covering my mouth with my hand and quickly tiptoeing into the kitchen to grab the Pop-Tarts I'd promised him. He walked in a few minutes later, and I handed him a plate with his breakfast in an attempt to make it look fancy enough for Christmas morning. He laughed, taking it with one hand and grabbing me around the waist with the other.

"Are you really spending the day alone?" he asked, tipping the plate toward him and catching the edge of a Pop-Tart in his mouth.

I laughed at him, shaking my head. "Yes. Why?"

"You're coming home with me."

"What?"

"If my parents knew you were spending Christmas alone—and I'm sure it'll get out once your father returns and starts talking about his vacation and this town is tiny, if you remember—I will be hung by my toes."

I hadn't really thought about that, to be honest. Hopefully the rest of the gang didn't think anything of it if they heard I'd spent the day on my own.

"Why?" I asked slowly, looking up at him.

I watched as he slid the Pop-Tart toward his mouth again, my eyes immediately drawn to his lip ring.

"Because you're alone on Christmas. Duh," he mumbled around a mouthful.

"Why would that matter to your parents?" I laughed, slapping at his chest before sliding out from underneath his arm.

"Have you met my mother? She's got a bleeding heart. If my dad weren't allergic to any kind of pet hair, do you know how many strays she'd pick up on a daily basis?" I heard one of the chairs slide out from underneath the table as I started to make coffee, and laughed at his statement. "You think I'm kidding."

"I don't want to impose on your family."

"You have not heard a word I've said."

"If you don't tell them, they won't know," I sang as I shoveled heaping spoonfuls of coffee grounds into the machine.

"They're going to ask where I was last night."

The spoon fell to the counter when my heart stopped beating, and I slowly turned to stare at him. "What?"

"Breathe," he said softly. "I'm going to tell them the PG version."

"Which is what, exactly?"

"That I needed a friend and you were there for me. I fell asleep on your couch." He shrugged almost sheepishly, picking at what was left of the last Pop-Tart on his plate. "No big deal."

My heart started beating again and I huffed out a breath, nodding as I turned back to the coffee maker.

"We're going to have to do a lot of talking, you know."

"About?" I asked, grabbing the carafe and filling it with water.

"Synchronizing stories."

It slipped out before I could think twice or stop it. "The lies, you mean."

He sighed heavily and I stared at the running water, both of us quiet until I turned off the tap and poured the water into the machine, slapping at the 'on' button and turning to face him.

"Just so we're on the same page," he said quietly, grabbing the plate and walking toward me to place it in the sink. He grabbed my face in his hands, his eyes boring into mine. "If you don't want this at any time—now, tomorrow, a few days or a few months from now—you need to tell me."

"I want this, Edward."

"Do you want more?"

I stared at him, trying to choose my words very carefully. I wanted more, of course I did. I'd be stupid not to. But relationships and I didn't ever get along. It never ended well and I was so tired of being on my own. At least with this arrangement, I wouldn't be and there wouldn't be any kind of pressure to be someone I wasn't.

"No," I finally whispered, forcing a smile. "It's just going to take some time to get used to this. I've never done the whole friends-with-benefits thing."

"Neither have I." He smoothed down my hair, pressing a kiss to my forehead. "We'll guide each other, yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Do you mind if I shower?"

"Not at all."

He tilted my face to his and kissed me softly. I felt it down to my toes and grabbed onto the sides of his shirt, pulling him against me.

"Wanna join me?" he whispered, backing away from me.

"That's a pretty dumb question, isn't it?"

He laughed and grabbed my hand, dragging me toward the bathroom.

Somehow, I knew it could be worse, and I'd take Edward Cullen dragging me to the shower as his sex friend instead of running out screaming any day.

I pulled up behind him in his parents' obscenely long driveway, jumping out of the truck and staring up at the house I'd only dreamed about after I'd heard Edward brag about the glamorous parties his parents threw for the rich and famous of Forks. Windows were everywhere, chandeliers even outside to decorate the empty space between the white columns, and a winding staircase visible to the outside.

I'd never been up close and personal with his parents' house, and I felt almost giddy at the idea of being able to go inside.

"Stop gawking, fool, and get over here," he teased and laughed at me.

I looked over at him and grinned, jogging to meet up with him. He grabbed my hand and pulled me up the stairs—he might've also had to pull me to the door because I got distracted at aforementioned chandelier—leading me inside.

The glitz and glamour of everything that was white and gold was lost on me when I saw Tanya sitting on the couch, her hair perfect, the way she held her wine glass perfect, and everything about her just incredibly… perfect.

"Well, fuck me," I heard Edward whisper out on a breath.

I did, and that was where the problems started.