Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the characters. I'm borrowing them.

I'm getting a little better about this, no?

Hey, at least it was under a year. It may still be in a different year, but it was under a year and that's what matters, right?

You guys are amazing. I love you all so much that I can barely express it. Thank you to everyone who has read, recommended and shared this story and stuck by me through all these years. I sincerely cannot thank you enough.

And, of course, Shae. I'd be nowhere without her and I adore her so.

Happy reading, lovies!

*Bella*

I woke up before Edward and spent a few minutes tracing the sharp edges of his jaw with my eyes before I carefully rolled out of bed and grabbed the first thing my hands landed on; his shirt.

I pulled it on and padded out into the living room, breathing deeply as I closed the door behind me. I leaned against it, closing my eyes and gently banging my head against the wood.

What. Had. We. Done.

Those emotions and feelings I thought I had a good handle on were now out of control. That silver platter and my heart were about as fused together as two objects could be and I felt backed into a corner.

He didn't want more than this and he'd made that very clear the morning after our first time. I'd been feeling extremely vulnerable last night and he'd been there when I didn't think he would be; he had been there for me, and worried about me and all my rational and logical thoughts had flown out the window.

If he knew about any of this, ever found out about any of these feeling and that I'd been lying to him about them since the beginning… that would be it. I'd lose him.

I didn't want to cut ties with him, I didn't want him out of my life, but I also didn't know what to do with this or how to act or, at this very moment, how to breathe properly. Something had changed last night and I was 100% sure that I was the only one that felt it. Running a hand through my knotted hair, I took a deep breath and walked into the kitchen.

Coffee and breakfast first. I'd figure out what to do about these feelings later… like when my world started getting pulled out from underneath me.

Like a real adult.

I was waiting impatiently for the toast to pop out of the toaster, completely plagued by all the same thoughts I'd had for the past twenty minutes when I felt arms wrap around my waist from behind and I jumped a mile in the air.

"Jumpy this morning, aren't we?" he mumbled, his voice still thick with sleep as he pressed a kiss against my ear.

I chuckled nervously and shrugged, forcing myself to relax. "I didn't hear you."

"Mm, well, toast is serious business."

I laughed and rolled my eyes, shaking my head. "Did I wake you?"

"I smelled bacon."

"Coffee's on." I nodded toward the coffee pot and did my best to ignore the third mug of my own coffee sitting next to it. "Feel free."

He hummed, kissed my neck and moved from me. I watched him out of the corner of my eye as he made himself completely at home, easily moving around the kitchen and finding everything he needed without asking me for it like he'd lived here with me for years. I absently grabbed the toast when it popped up, too enthralled with watching him to be distracted with something else.

No matter how many times I saw him naked, it never got old or failed to make my mouth water. Since I was still wearing his shirt, he was perfectly content in his jeans and every time he reached for something, the muscles under his tattoo made it jump and stand out even more.

"So," he started easily, pouring coffee into his mug and looking over at me. "What do you wanna do today?"

I stared blankly at him.

"I… I didn't have any plans…"

"Mind if I hang out here with you?"

My heart soared in my chest and I had to bite back the urge to do a ridiculous looking happy dance.

Wait.

Was this guilt from last night? Was he still unconvinced that I was fine? I'd been pretty confident that I'd proven otherwise, but maybe we'd crossed wires somehow.

God knows it wouldn't be the first time.

"If you have plans…"

"My plans were to hang out with you if you didn't have plans yourself."

He watched me over the rim of his mug as he sipped his coffee and I swallowed hard.

"You know I'm fine, right?"

He raised an eyebrow.

"I'm not like… upset about James or anything anymore. If you have things to do…"

"We finally have the same day off, Bella. I think we should take advantage of it."

My heart fell a little bit more. He just wanted to spend the day in bed.

"Let's eat first," I said quietly, reaching up to grab two plates.

"Do you want to rent a movie?"

My hands stilled and I looked over at him. "Huh?"

He smirked, sipping his coffee again. "We're friends first, Bella. Let's rent a movie."

I stared at him. "Seriously?"

"We didn't add sex in until recently."

"We barely hung out this much until recently."

"And before this happened, I do believe one of us said that we should hang out more often." He raised an eyebrow at me. "So let's hang out."

He wasn't wrong… and it would be nice to get back on solid ground when it came to one thing about our relationship. We'd never had any problems being friends.

"Do I have to put on pants?" I asked hesitantly.

"Do you have Netflix?" I nodded and he grinned. "Then I prefer you keep wearing my shirt without pants because it's sexy as fuck." He leaned forward and gently kissed my cheek. "Need help with anything?"

"You can get the plates down and set the table."

"Ah, we're being formal this morning, huh?"

"It's the only day we've had off together since Christmas," I stated, popping two more slices of toast in the toaster before walking to the refrigerator. "It's a special occasion."

He grabbed me around the waist before I could grab the tub of butter and kissed me gently. My heart fluttered and I sighed quietly, melting into him.

"Thank you for this wonderful breakfast," he whispered, "and for agreeing to spend the day with me."

"It's the least I could do," I mumbled, lazily opening my eyes. "You did save me."

"Nah, Bella." He pressed a gentle kiss to the end of my nose. "You didn't need anyone to save you. I just wanted to be there for you."

Everything inside of me turned to mush and I gripped his arms tightly. Did he know how hard he was making this for me? Did he realize that every move he had made so far this morning had me drowning in the feelings I was trying so hard, so desperately to hide from him?

"Oh," I breathed out, clearing my throat and shaking my head once. Take a step back, Bella. Take two. Take fifty. "You're welcome."

He laughed and moved from me, grabbing the plates and cutlery from their respective places. I mechanically moved to continue making our breakfast, trapped somewhere between floating on a cloud and flattened against the floor.

He was acting so… boyfriend-y, so touchy-feely and sweet. What was I supposed to do with that? How was I supposed to just be his friend that occasionally had sex with him when he woke up and acted like I was the only girl in the world?

How was I supposed to survive this?

Maybe I wasn't. Maybe I was destined to have nothing but semi-relationships with men who were perpetually unavailable and bad for me.

Even if we were just friends with benefits, he was supposed to be the good one. I wasn't supposed to keep falling even deeper for him or wanting more when we'd set solid rules in place to keep us in each other's lives when things stopped working between us. He had everything going for him, even if he didn't believe it or if Tanya led him to believe differently.

He had a job and he worked hard, he had a heart of gold, he was gorgeous, he was funny, sweet and always there when a friend needed him and knew just how and where to touch a woman to make her melt… he was the entire package.

And he wanted nothing more than to have sex with me. He didn't want a real relationship, he just wanted sex.

It had to be me, right? There had to be something about me that he didn't want more with. Tanya had been the perfect counterpart to everything about him and me? Well…

I wasn't even on the same level as either of them. I shouldn't be looking a gift horse in the mouth as hard as I was. I should be happy to have what little he was willing to throw my way without complaining because if this was all I could get from someone like him, I should take it and run with it for as long as I possibly could.

I'd probably never get another chance.

Taking a deep breath and steeling myself against all the feelings flooding through my veins, I grabbed the pan of eggs and bacon to bring it to the table with a smile on my face. He wrapped an arm around my waist as I dished out food to both of our plates, humming appreciatively and squeezing me quickly before he grabbed his fork.

"And she can cook. You're the entire package, huh?"

I stilled, my breath catching in my throat as he obliviously stuffed eggs and bacon in his mouth.

"I guess so," I laughed nervously, swallowing hard as I turned to set the pan back on the stove.

I may be the entire package, but it doesn't do me any damn good when it comes to you, does it?

"This is delicious, Bella, thank you."

I smirked sadly and finally sat down, stuffing bacon in my mouth as I watched him devour everything I'd made.

If I was such a 'package,' why was I still alone?

"No, Edward, stop!" I screeched, laughing hysterically as he attacked my ribcage with his fingertips.

He laughed manically and grabbed the back of my knees. I kicked out and screamed, still laughing as I rolled onto my side in an attempt to get away from him.

"I can't… breathe... Edward!"

I clawed my way over the arm of the couch and flopped onto the floor. He was quiet and I peeked above the arm to see he was watching the exact spot I popped up with a grin on his face.

"Doing okay, Bella?"

"I hate you," I breathed, my chest still heaving.

If possible, his grin got wider.

"Nah, I don't think you do."

"You don't… you don't know that for sure."

He started crawling towards me, licking his lips and placing his hands on the arm rest. I screeched and jumped back, crawling backwards until I hit the wall.

"Come on, I need a break!" I laughed, holding my legs out in an attempt to ward him off as he slid off the couch and got on his hands and knees.

He kept quiet and I squeaked as my feet landed on his shoulders. All it took was one well-timed grab to the back of my knees and he was on me, his hands finding all the ticklish places I barely even knew existed before this moment.

We'd been arguing over who was going to make more popcorn before he attacked me, spilling whatever was left in the bowl and sending me into hysteric shrieks. This was far too easy for him and I couldn't do anything to stop it.

Not that I altogether hated the way his hands were all over my body. In fact, if it were for any other reason, I'd relish this. Right now, however, I wanted him as far away from me as possible. There were so many reasons as to why I couldn't breathe and his wandering hands sure as hell weren't helping.

"I'll stop if you make the popcorn!"

"Fine!" I wheezed, wiggling around on the floor like a fish out of water in any sort of attempt to get away from his torture. "I'll do anything to make you stop!"

"Anything, huh?"

Before I could take a real breath, his hand was on the back of my still bare thigh and his mouth was covering mine. I rolled more onto my back, my arms immediately winding around his neck as I pulled him closer to me. Wrapping my leg around his waist, I trailed my hands down his bare chest, our tongues tangled together as his fingertips edged closer to the elastic of my panties.

Oh, God, he was trying to kill me and in any and every lifetime, I'd let him. I tangled my fingers in his hair and tipped my head back as his lips descended to my neck.

"Will you put cinnamon sugar on it this time?" he rasped into my ear.

I barked out a laugh and pushed him away from me.

"You don't play fair."

"I play to win." He grinned at me before standing up and offering me his hand. "But I do hope we can continue what we started later."

"I don't know. You're quite the tease."

I grabbed his hand and let him pull me up, crashing against his chest as he pulled me close and rested his forehead against mine.

"I promise to deliver." He kissed the tip of my nose before letting me go. "But later! I want sugary popcorn!"

He twisted me around and gently pushed me into the kitchen. I laughed and batted his hands away, mock glaring at him over my shoulder as I side stepped to grab the popcorn kernels from the freezer. I hummed as I poured the kernels into the air popper, vaguely hearing Edward's cell phone go off before I plugged in the machine.

With the popcorn freshly popped and topped with cinnamon sugar – as requested – I danced my way back into the living room, feeling light and relaxed.

"I hope this is enough for you."

I plopped down next to him on the couch, looking over at him as he silently stared at the phone in his hands.

"That was Tanya." His voice was still raspy, but for a completely different reason.

My heart sank and I could feel all the color leave my entire body. I set the bowl down very carefully on the coffee table, knowing with all my heart that this conversation was not going to stay the light and relaxed banter we'd had a minute ago.

"Okay," I said slowly, nodding once and placing my hands between my knees.

"She wants to talk."

I nodded again, watching him like a hawk as he turned his phone over and over in his hands. Finally, he dropped it on the floor and dug his hands in his hair.

"She wants me back," he whispered.

I swallowed hard and it felt like someone had sucker punched me. My mouth went dry and my heart began to pound in my chest as I watched him continuously run his hands through his hair.

"Do you…?" I cleared my throat and sucked in another deep breath; I couldn't get enough of them. "Do you want her back?"

He was quiet for a few moments and I wanted to scream. I needed answers. I needed him to give me answers, whatever they were. I braced myself, placing my hands flat on the cushion next to me as I closed my eyes tightly and let my head drop.

"I don't know, Bella," he whispered. "Fuck, I don't know."

That was worse than him saying yes somehow.

Without a word, I stood up and walked into my bedroom. I pulled his shirt off and pulled on my robe, bringing his shirt up to my nose and taking a deep breath before I steeled myself and walked back to the living room.

"You should go," I choked, holding his shirt out to him.

He looked up at me and the look in his eyes – vulnerable and broken somehow – took my breath away.

He didn't deserve this.

"Do you think so?"

"See what she has to say."

I forced a smile on my face, hoping to hell it looked sincere enough that it could hide the way my insides felt like they were shriveling up into nothing.

"Bella…" He stood up, taking his shirt from me. "Bella, I don't…"

I nodded manically, feeling my smile match. "I know. It's… it's Tanya, Edward."

"That has nothing…"

"It has everything to do with it," I breathed out on a sarcastic laugh. I crossed my arms over my chest, chewing on my lip as I looked down at my feet. "You owe it to yourself to see what she has to say. You need to go."

He continued to stand in front of me in silence before I finally felt his arms wrap around me, pulling me against him as if I were made of glass.

To be honest, I felt like I was. My body felt like it was splintering the longer he held onto me and I couldn't figure out if I wanted to push him away or hold him for as long as he'd let me.

"I'll call you."

I stepped back from him, reaching up to wipe away the traitorous tear that had leaked down my cheek before I looked up at him again.

"Yeah," I whispered, sucking in a deep breath. "Let me know."

He reached out and pushed hair behind my ear. I leaned into him against my better judgment before I stood up straight and took a step back from him.

"I will."

I watched in a haze as he got dressed and grabbed all of his things, squeezing my hand tightly once before he walked out of my apartment. I jumped when the door closed behind him, and I managed to get to the couch before my knees gave out and I sank into the cushions again.

How had this day gone so massively wrong so quickly?