"Was it hard?" I ask. "Letting go?"

"Not as hard as holding on to something that wasn't real."

- Lisa Schroeder, I Heart You, You Haunt Me -

Surprises

"So, what do you want to do on Friday?"

I rolled my eyes at Rosalie's question. "Nothing. I'll probably be recovering from my shift."

"Do you have to work late?"

"No. I have a morning shift."

She grinned. "Well, even better. You can rest a couple of hours after you get off, and then we can party the rest of the night."

"Rosalie," I moaned. "I'm too old for partying. Please, at least don't make me go clubbing with you."

"Bella, you turn twenty-five on Friday, not sixty. Get a grip." She took a sip from her coffee, giving me a mock glare. "And we don't have to go clubbing if you don't want to. It's your birthday, after all. All I'm asking is that we celebrate it somehow. Or do you have plans with Carlisle?"

"I don't know. I'm not sure if he even remembers my birthday. I mentioned it a couple of weeks ago, but it could be he's forgotten about it by now."

"Well, remind him about it. Oh, I know! How about if I make reservations at our favorite restaurant. I bring Emmett, you bring Carlisle, and we can have some sophisticated, adult fun. No clubbing or boozing required."

I considered it. "Well, that doesn't sound too very bad. I'll ask him, but I'm not sure if he's willing to do the meet-my-friends thing."

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Oh, come on, Bella. I know you two are just fooling around, but it's not like you're going to ask him to marry you or something. Casual relationship or not, it's completely okay for you to ask him to spend your birthday with you."

I raised my hands in surrender. "Fine. I'll ask him." I glanced at the clock and got up from my seat. "I have to go. My break's over."

Rosalie took a bite of the salad she'd brought with her. "See you on Friday."

I straightened my apron. "See you. But hey," I pointed a finger at her, "I have one condition. No presents."

"You keep insisting on that every year, and you always lose. Honestly, Bella, when will you learn this is something you don't get to decide?"

I sighed and hung my head in defeat. "Fine. Just don't go crazy, please?"

"Can't promise anything."

Chuckling and shaking my head, I got back to work and left her to enjoy her salad.

I brought up my birthday when I saw Carlisle that evening. He was spending the night at my apartment; it was the second night in a row. I liked our new pattern. We'd spend two or three nights at his house, and then, he'd stay at my place for the next couple of days. It was nice to come home after a late shift and see the lights were on. It was just a tad hard to focus on work, when I knew Carlisle was waiting for me at home. I'd had more than a few fantasies about him during the long hours I had spent serving customers. They were slightly distracting, those fantasies.

The best thing was, those fantasies were nothing compared to reality.

Yes...I definitely prefer the reality.

This was the only thought I could form later that night, after separating from a heated tumble in the sheets. Still catching my breath, I rolled onto my side and propped my head up with my hand. My head was still spinning and my body tingling from our previous activities, and I chuckled as I noticed Carlisle had thrown an arm over his eyes; he seemed to have trouble regulating his breathing as well.

Inching closer to him, I draped myself over his chest, pressing a soft kiss on his lips.

"Give me a moment," he mumbled against my lips, "and I'll be ready for round two."

I gave a soft laugh. "Aren't you a little too old for round two so soon after–"

I didn't manage to finish my sentence. I suddenly realized that, instead of hovering over him, I was pinned to the mattress. Carlisle's breath was hot against my lips. I could literally feel his every muscle as he trapped my body with his own.

"Too old, huh?" he murmured in a low tone. "I can show you what old men like me are truly capable of. Would you like that, young Bella?"

His tone made shivers dance up my spine. I just stared at him, my mouth hanging slightly open. "Um...sure?"

He grinned at my bewilderment. Then, he cradled my head with his hands, before claiming my lips with his. I moaned quietly, wrapping my arms around his back as his lips moved to my neck.

"You know," I said playfully, my voice breathless, "you called me young just now, but I'm not sure if I'm that young anymore. I turn twenty-five on Friday. If I live to be one hundred, it means that, one quarter of my life is over. If I live to be ninety–"

Carlisle chuckled and shook his head, his kisses ceasing. "Bella, stop. You should be thinking about the time you have left, not the time that's behind you." He shook his head again. "Twenty-five...you're still so very young. You still have so many good things ahead of you. When I was your age..." he trailed off, smiling, but suddenly, that smile turned into a frown.

And then, he wasn't here with me anymore. I reached up to touch his cheek, as he kept staring off into space.

"Where'd you go?" I asked quietly. He seemed to snap out of it, and he shook his head slightly, as if to get rid of some unpleasant thought, giving me a small smile. It didn't reach his eyes. It never did.

"What do you mean?" he asked quietly.

I bit my lip, hesitating. "Sometimes, if I happen to say something specific – or if you say something yourself – you seem to...well, you seem to go to some place no one else has access to. It's like you're momentarily trapped there." I paused, observing him. "Or maybe not even momentarily. Maybe you're always there, but you just try to pretend you're not."

I didn't notice at first that Carlisle had stopped breathing. His eyes were distant as he kept staring blankly over my shoulder. After a moment, he drew in a slow breath, before meeting my gaze. He opened his mouth to say something, but he seemed to struggle with words.

I brought my forefinger to his lips, tracing the outline of his mouth with a light caress. "You don't have to explain, if you feel like you don't want to," I murmured softly; the distress in his eyes made me ache. "I'm just worried about you sometimes, that's all. And I just...I just kind of hope you have someone you can talk to about the things that trouble you. It doesn't have to be me. But it'd put my mind at ease if I knew you talked to someone about those things."

He began to bite his lip; I'd never seen him do that before. It took me a moment to realize he did that to hide the tremble of his lips. He dipped his head, and I heard him draw in another slow, forcibly controlled breath.

"You don't have to worry about me, Bella," he said after a moment, his voice quiet and a little too even. "But...but if it eases your mind...I do talk to someone about...things."

I reached up to twine my fingers in his hair. "Okay. It's good to know that."

He raised his head again, supporting his weight on his other elbow, as he took my hand and removed it from his hair. His eyes went to the long scar on the inner side of my arm, his thumb gently tracing the uneven skin.

"We all have these," he murmured quietly, his blue eyes studying the scar. "Mine just don't happen to be...visible."

That surprised me; I hadn't expected him to say something like that. His quiet words seemed almost open, given the fact that he was usually so remote when it came to things that haunted him.

"I beg to differ," I answered quietly. "I think your scars...they are visible. I see them all the time...in here." I reached up to trace the shape of his eyes with the tip of my finger. "Your eyes...they're always so sad. I don't know what put that sadness in there...and I don't know if it'll ever go away. I wish it would, though."

He shook his head. "I'm afraid that's not possible, Bella."

I didn't know what to say to that. What was there to say? Denying his words, contradicting him, would have been disrespectful.

I watched him closely, and momentarily considered telling him about finding his ring. If his wife had really died...if her death was the reason why that sorrow in his eyes would never go away...maybe it would change things, if he knew that I knew. Maybe it would make him feel like he didn't have to hide things from me. Maybe...

I sighed inwardly, stopping my internal debate. For some reason, I kept feeling like it was his decision – his right – to bring this up when he wanted to. If he wanted to. I didn't want to hurt him by touching on a sensitive topic.

I suddenly realized that, maybe he found my company pleasant because of this. Because I knew nothing about the things that tormented him. Maybe I was a reprieve from an endless nightmare. Maybe he found it easier to be in the company of someone who knew practically nothing about him.

Maybe that was why he was with me in the first place. Why he had agreed to this whole relationship.

The feeling of a soft fingertip tracing the shape of my lips pulled me from my ponderings. Carlisle was watching me intently, almost like he was trying to figure out what was going on in my head. A soft smile began to play on his lips.

"So." His voice was lighter now; it seemed like he was more than eager to change the subject. "Do you have any birthday plans? Or is it a wise idea at all to celebrate a birthday on Friday the 13th?"

I chuckled. "Well, like I told you all those weeks ago, I'm a trouble magnet. Nothing will ever change that. I'm sure Western superstition doesn't make things exactly easier for me, but I have a feeling Rosalie will skin me alive if I don't celebrate my birthday in some way, Friday the 13th or not." I paused, giving him a look. "You know, she was planning on making reservations at a nice restaurant. She's bringing Emmett, and...well, I was wondering if you were able to accompany us? Or do you have other plans?"

Carlisle smiled. "Of course not. I'd love to come. It's your birthday, after all." He leaned in to place a soft kiss near my ear. It made me shiver. "Are you going to wear that gorgeous black dress?"

I frowned. "What dress?"

He pulled away and chuckled. "You know, that dress you were wearing, when I saw you and Rosalie at the restaurant that night."

"Oh." For some reason, my thoughts went immediately to the woman I'd seen him with that night. Kate. I remembered how jealous I'd been; I was finally able to admit that.

I noticed Carlisle was watching me closely; there was an amused twinkle in his eyes. Maybe he knew what I was thinking about. I cleared my throat, forcing myself to return to the topic at hand.

"Uh...you liked the dress I was wearing?" I asked, looking at him curiously.

He nodded, smiling. "You know, maybe it makes me a jerk, given the fact that I was on a date with someone else that night, but when I saw you, I couldn't help but think how beautiful you looked." He touched my cheekbone with the back of his hand. There was something utterly tender about the touch.

I swallowed, suddenly realizing my cheeks were flaming. It made him smile even wider. I rolled my eyes, trying to ignore the way my heart was racing. "Fine, you sweet talker. I'll wear the dress. But only if you rip it off me later – that's the only birthday present I want, you know."

He chuckled, placing a soft kiss on my lips. "You're a greedy woman, Isabella Swan," he murmured against my mouth. His hands were suddenly grabbing my hips, and in one smooth motion, he reversed our positions. My long hair pooled on his chest as I leaned over him, straddling his hips.

"What time will I pick you up?" he asked. I trembled as his fingertips brushed across the skin at the small of my back.

"I'll have to check with Rosalie."

"Do that." His voice was pitched lower than normal, and I shivered as his hands slid from my lower back to my hips, before slowly caressing the curve of my backside.

I was suddenly looking forward to my birthday very much.

I'd never liked any fuss, and I was a little surprised when I found myself in good spirits when I woke up on Friday morning. It was strange to wake up alone, though; Carlisle and I had deviated from our new, pleasant pattern and spent the previous night apart. He'd told me yesterday he would be out of town for the night. I hadn't asked what he had been doing, or where he had gone, even though I'd been curious. And since he hadn't offered to explain, I had pushed the matter aside.

I suddenly realized I could hardly wait for the evening to arrive. Carlisle would pick me up sometime before seven, and we'd meet Rosalie and Emmett at the restaurant.

I went through my morning routines with a huge smile on my face. Before leaving for work, I went to my closet and pulled out the black dress I was going to wear tonight. I was suddenly very glad I'd worn it, when I'd seen Carlisle at the restaurant all those weeks ago; it pleased me a great deal that he remembered what I'd looked like.

Even though the day was busy, it seemed to pass slower than usual. I kept checking the clock, hoping time would speed up. It didn't, of course – watching the clock made the hours pass even more slowly. When my lunch break came, I went into the backroom to get my phone; I'd forgotten it in my bag. There was a message from Carlisle, and I opened it quickly, feeling like a giddy school girl. But as I read it, my stomach seemed to drop through the soles of my feet.

Bella,

I'm terribly sorry, but it seems I won't be able to make it tonight. Something sudden has come up. I hope you understand. Have a good time with Emmett and Rosalie.

Happy birthday.

Carlisle.

I let out a long sigh, shoving the phone back into my bag. I felt more disappointed than I should have, and I was also getting a little pissed off as well, no matter how much I tried not to feel resentful. He'd said something sudden had come up. What could have happened? It wasn't just an excuse, was it?

But what if it was? Why hadn't he explained what had happened? If I had to cancel on someone – on their birthday! – I sure as hell would offer an explanation.

I was no longer hungry, but I forced myself to eat some of the salad I had made this morning. I was glad when my lunch break was finally over, because it meant I'd get to go back to work. The café was crowded, and I welcomed the distraction. I considered offering to work longer hours today, just to drown my disappointment, but I realized I couldn't do that to Rosalie. She'd be disappointed if I didn't turn up tonight.

When my break came in the afternoon, I sent her a quick text and told her Carlisle had canceled and asked her if she and Emmett could pick me up on their way to the restaurant. She answered right away and told me they'd pick me up at seven, and it puzzled me a bit, when she didn't ask why Carlisle had canceled. I'd expected her to start interrogating me right away.

I somehow got through the rest of my shift. When I made my way home in the afternoon, I felt oddly drained. The thought of getting through the night was tiresome, and I hoped Rosalie and Emmett wouldn't see how disappointed I was, how much it would have mattered to me to have Carlisle there tonight.

Get over it. He must have a good reason to cancel on me. It's not the end of the world.

Sighing, I got out of my truck and made my way to the door of my apartment. It was only after I had unlocked the door, opened it and stepped inside, that I had this sudden, vague feeling that something was amiss. I was in the middle of shrugging off my coat when I realized it; the apartment was darker than it should have been.

Someone had closed all the drapes.

Frowning confusedly, one arm still in the sleeve of my coat, I took two steps further and stepped into the kitchen. The lights flashed on at once.

"SURPRISE!"

I startled so badly, I nearly bit my tongue off. I pressed a hand over my chest, feeling like my heart was about to race right through my ribcage. I vaguely realized my bag had slipped from my other hand and gave a soft thump as it landed on the floor.

My eyes took in my small kitchen; there were ridiculously colorful birthday decorations hanging from the walls and the ceiling, from everywhere, and the table and the counters were covered in food and drinks.

I blinked and stared at the small group of people gathered close to the table. Emmett was grinning at me brightly, his arm wrapped around Rosalie. Beside her stood...

Carlisle. His blue eyes glimmered with amusement as he observed my reaction.

"Wh-What is this?" I asked feebly, stuttering. "I mean...what is this?"

"It's a surprise, like we said," came a familiar voice on Carlisle's left. It wasn't until then that I realized who all was in the room. "Weren't you paying attention?"

"Mom?" I asked, blinking slowly.

Renée crossed the kitchen with a few quick strides and wrapped her arms around me. "Happy birthday, sweetheart." I hugged her back, staring over her shoulder at the three people who were now exchanging smiles. They were evidently enjoying my state of shock.

My eyes found Rosalie's. "You did this," I realized, as my mother pulled back and kissed my cheek. "That whole talk about going to a restaurant...you've been tricking me all week long. And you!" I shot a look at Carlisle, causing him to smile sheepishly. "You sent me that message today and made me believe you'd canceled!"

He chuckled. "Guilty."

"Unbelievable." I shook my head and turned to Renée again. She quirked an eyebrow at me.

"Are you surprised?" she asked, smiling.

"Well – yeah." I gave a soft laugh, gesturing at the decorations. "I mean...this is too much. Wow. Way too much."

"Oh, come on. It's not every day you turn twenty-five." Renée pressed another kiss on my cheek. "Charlie couldn't make it – he had to work."

I flicked Carlisle a look, idly wondering to myself what would have happened if my dad had been here. I had a feeling he might have a few things to say about me dating an older man. Which begged the question...

I gave Renée a questioning look. "Uh...have you all been introduced?"

"Yes," she responded, smiling slyly and glancing Carlisle's way. "You, young lady, have been holding out on me. If you know what I mean."

I gave an uneasy laugh, hoping she would let it be. Of course, I hadn't told her about me and Carlisle, mainly because this thing of ours wasn't serious. To my relief, she didn't press the matter.

The evening was wonderful. I saw my mom so rarely that getting to spend time with her was a gift in itself. Speaking of gifts... As expected, Rosalie had chosen to ignore my request not to get me anything – she and Emmett gave me a gift certificate to a local bookstore. When I opened Renée's gift, I found myself swallowing back tears. It was a large, handmade quilt.

"You need something to keep you warm in this gloomy, rainy city," she said to me with a twinkle in her eyes.

I shook my head, astonished. "It must have taken forever to make this. Thank you." I gave her a tight hug, smiling. "But it's not so gloomy here. It's raining all the time, I admit, but I don't mind that. It reminds me of Forks and Charlie, after all."

Renée pulled away and placed a quick kiss on my cheek. "Speaking of Charlie...he told me to tell you his gift will arrive in the mail later."

I noticed Emmett had engaged Carlisle in a conversation; they seemed to be getting along well. It still surprised me how they had managed to arrange all this behind my back. It had to have been Rosalie's idea. I wondered how long Carlisle had known about this surprise party, and where Rosalie had gotten his number in order to orchestrate this. I also wondered what my mom had thought, when she'd met Carlisle and found out who he was, and what he was to me. She didn't seem to disapprove at all – my mom was great that way – but I saw from her eyes that she had some questions. I noticed she watched Carlisle closely for a moment, before she exchanged a look with Rosalie. It confused me. I forgot about it soon, though. I saw Emmett elbowing Carlisle in a brotherly manner; it was almost like they had known each other far longer than just a couple of hours. But then again, Emmett got along with everyone.

It took me a moment to realize Emmett was nudging Carlisle's arm because he was ushering him forward. "Your turn. Go on, she's not getting any younger, is she?" He threw me a wide smirk.

"Gee, thanks, Emmett." I rolled my eyes at him. Carlisle chuckled softly, slowly making his way to me.

"You'll get my gift a little later, if that's alright," he told me with a soft smile. He pulled me into a warm embrace and placed a quick kiss on my cheek – maybe he felt too self-conscious to kiss me on the mouth in front of my mother. "Happy birthday, Bella."

"Thank you. But you didn't have to get me anything, Carlisle. Really."

He only smiled. "It's just this small thing. Don't worry – I already know you well enough not to buy you a yacht or something."

That made me chuckle. "Well, I'm glad."

I had to admit, I was a little curious about what he had gotten for me, but apparently, I had to wait for a while to find out. The evening flew by surprisingly quickly, and I finally had to admit that maybe birthdays weren't so bad, after all. Rosalie had promised me sophisticated, adult fun, and that was what I had gotten.

The only thing she had gone overboard with was food – there was too much of it. It confused me a bit, since she was very organized about these things, but then, I learned Emmett had been in charge of food and snacks, and my confusion ended there.

"Thank you," I told Rosalie, when she was pouring me more Coke.

"You're welcome."

"No, I mean, thank you for everything. For this evening. And for getting my mom here. I know you're the mastermind behind all this. Only you could manage to surprise me this way on my birthday. This was just what I needed."

She smiled. "I'm glad you like this. I did wonder how you might react, since you hate surprises, but..."

I shook my head and gave a soft laugh. "Well, this surprise was definitely a very pleasant one."

Rosalie was about to say something, but then, she looked over my shoulder, quirking her eyebrows. I turned and saw Emmett coming from the living room. He gave me a wink before pressing a quick kiss on Rosalie's lips.

"Is there any beer left, babe?"

"Check the fridge. How many have you had, anyway? I'll have to cut you off soon."

"Hey, someone has to drink those beers," he said, mock-defensively. "You only had one, Bella doesn't like beer, and Renée doesn't drink anything but Coke, because it's the only beverage that doesn't put her to sleep. Even Carlisle refused when I offered him one." He gave me a glance and quirked his eyebrows; in his universe, if a man refused a beer, there had to be something wrong with him.

"Uh...yeah. Carlisle doesn't drink," I told him.

"Not even beer? Why not?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. I never asked."

He mumbled something unintelligible under his breath, as he pulled another beer from the fridge. I poured Coke into another glass, so he could take it to Carlisle.

"Maybe he thinks getting drunk is for teenagers," Rosalie stated and looked at Emmett pointedly. "Or maybe he actually acknowledges the fact that he has to drive home."

Emmett blinked. "What? I'm good. I can drive us home."

Rosalie sighed and shook her head, but she was smiling. "Yeah. I don't think so."

He returned her smile. "Don't worry, babe. I'm not going to get drunk. Wouldn't want to forget some...things that have happened." He winked at her and leaned closer to capture her lips.

"Ugh. Lovebirds everywhere," I mumbled, feigning disgust. Emmett chuckled as he broke away from Rosalie's mouth, and then he turned to me, puckering up his lips very comically, as if to kiss me, too. "Okay, that's definitely your last beer tonight."

"Aw, don't be like that. I'm just trying to celebrate your aging in a proper manner."

"My aging? You really know how to talk to women, don't you."

"Yep. I'm the one with the words. Just ask Rose."

Rosalie laughed softly. I shook my head, amused. When Emmett disappeared into the living room again, I noticed there was a strange glimmer in her eyes as she watched him walk away. And the smile on her lips was somehow...different. I realized I had never seen that look on Rosalie's face before, and I pretty much knew her every expression.

"What's up?" I asked her, sipping my Coke.

She snapped out of it, shaking her head. "Nothing. Why?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. You looked a little funny just now, that's all. Like you just discovered the meaning of life, or something equally grand."

She smiled and shook her head again, before turning away. "You're imagining things."

I stared at her and stayed silent until she turned to face me again. The small smile on her lips still hadn't left. The soft look in her blue-green eyes was familiar; I realized the last time I'd seen that look, she'd just met Emmett.

"What's going on with you?" I asked, lowering my voice. "Tell me."

"Nothing's going on. Why do you ask?"

"Because you kind of look like you've had a few glasses of some quality wine, which I know is not the case now. Come to think of it, you've been smiling like that the whole evening. I just realized it."

"Well, of course I'm smiling. It's your birthday, and we're celebrating. Or do you want me to sulk?"

"Come on, Rosalie. You're not fooling me."

She gave a self-conscious laugh, avoiding my eyes and brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "I'll tell you tomorrow, okay? I promise."

I frowned, confused. "Why tomorrow? Why not today?"

"Because," she answered. "It's your birthday. This is your day. Just be patient, Bella. I'll tell you later."

"Rosalie," I moaned quietly, even though I kind of wanted to screech. Loudly. "You're making me worried. At least tell me nothing's wrong."

"Everything's fine. Better than fine."

"Well, in that case, you might as well tell me now. You said it – it's my birthday. You have to fulfill my every wish."

She laughed. "You can't have it both ways, Bella. You always say you don't want any fuss on your birthday, and now you say your every wish has to be fulfilled?"

"Well, not every wish. Just this one. Tell me. Please. What's going on with you?"

She sighed, brushing her fingers through her long, golden waves in a nearly nervous gesture. "Okay. Fine. Just...just don't start squealing or anything, okay?"

"When have I ever squealed?"

"Good point." She took a deep breath. "Okay. Here goes. Last night...Emmett...well, he kind of...proposed to me."

I stared at her. "What? And you're only telling me this now? Why didn't you say anything before?" I threw my arms around her, enveloping her in a fierce hug. "Congratulations! I'm so happy for you! You should've said something!"

She let out a quiet, relieved laugh, wrapping her arms around my shoulders. "Like I said, this is supposed to be your day. I was going to tell you later."

I pulled away, smiling widely. "You should've told me right away. This is huge! Show me the ring!" I took her left hand in mine, only to discover there was no ring on her finger. I gave her a glance. "He didn't get you a ring? Don't tell me he proposed to you with a Fruit Loop."

She chuckled. "You know, as much as that sounds like something Emmett might do..." she trailed off and pulled a thin, silver chain from under her blouse; the ring was on the chain. I looked at it more closely, thinking to myself it was just Rosalie's style – Emmett really knew her well. The ring had a single, elegant diamond in the middle.

"Wow. I don't know anything about diamonds, but that's pretty. You should've kept it on your finger, though. You didn't have to keep this a secret, just because it happens to be my birthday. I've been kind of expecting news like this for a while now."

"Really?" She was smiling widely; I realized I'd never seen Rosalie this happy.

"Really. Go ahead, put it back on your finger. Now, we have two reasons to celebrate."

She hesitated, grinning sheepishly. "You know, I'd rather wait until we get home. I want Emmett to put it back."

I nodded knowingly. "Admit it. You just want him to get down on one knee again and recreate the moment."

"Guilty. But in my defense, Bella, it was very romantic. Even if he proposed to me a hundred times, I'd never get tired of it."

My mom chose that moment to come into the kitchen. She saw me studying the ring, and she gave Rosalie a knowing smile.

"Is that what I think it is?" she asked.

Rosalie nodded.

"Isn't it great?" I asked, turning to Renée. "And can you believe it, she wasn't going to say anything today, just because it's my birthday. I had to force her to tell me."

"What a poor friend," Renée stated in a dry manner, chuckling. She crossed the room to us, wrapping Rosalie in a tight hug and congratulating her. "When's the wedding?"

"Oh, we haven't even talked about that yet," Rosalie murmured, shaking her head.

"Come on. I'll bet you already have a guest list," I teased her.

She rolled her eyes. "Well, there's no harm in planning, is there? And besides, I can't dump everything on my maid of honor, as in you."

I quirked my brows at her words.

She chuckled. "Oh, come on, Bella. You're my best friend, and you're like a sister to me. Who else was I going to ask?"

Her words made very warm inside. That warmth stayed with me throughout the evening, even after she and Emmett eventually prepared to take their leave. They both had to work the next day, and it was getting close to midnight. It seemed like it was easier said than done, however, to get Carlisle and Emmett to bring their conversation to an end. For some reason, it surprised me that they were getting along so well. Their personalities were so different, after all.

"I should go as well. It's getting late," Carlisle said, after Emmett and Rosalie had closed the front door behind them. I wanted him to stay, of course, but since my mom was staying at my apartment...

"Thanks for tonight," I told him, after I'd kissed him goodnight. "No one's ever thrown me a surprise birthday party before."

Renée had been tidying up in the kitchen, but now, she began to make her way towards my bedroom, probably wanting to give us some privacy.

"It was nice to meet you, Carlisle," she told him on her way to the hallway. "Have a safe drive home."

"Thank you, Mrs. Dwyer."

My mom chuckled and shook her head. "Please, call me Renée. Mrs. Dwyer makes me feel old."

Carlisle gave a soft laugh. My mom disappeared into my bedroom, and I turned to face him again.

"Your mother is wonderful," he told me. "And she's...well, she's...she..."

"You can say it. She's a weirdo. Believe me, I noticed it around the time I turned two."

He gave an amused laugh, running a hand through his hair. I moved closer to him, wrapping my arms around him.

"Seriously, though," I said, "Thank you for tonight. For everything. I was really pleased when I realized the text you sent me was just part of your little scheme."

He chuckled. "I can't take the credit for that. It was Rosalie's idea." He leaned down to place a soft kiss on my lips. "I'm glad we managed to surprise you. It took some effort to figure out where to hide our cars, so they wouldn't give us away when you came home in the afternoon, but I suppose we succeeded."

"You did."

He drew away slightly, giving me an uncertain smile. "I should let you get some sleep now. But first...one more thing." He took a small step back and pulled something from the pocket of his pants – a small package wrapped in silver paper – and gave it to me.

"Carlisle, you didn't have to get me anything. This party was more than enough."

He shook his head, gesturing toward the package. "Open it. It's just something I saw one day, and I thought maybe..." He gave a soft, nervous laugh. "Look, I'm not at all sure if you'll even like it, but...well, I certainly hope you do." I realized he was almost rambling. Maybe he truly was nervous.

If so, he wasn't the only one. My fingers were trembling slightly, as I unwrapped the silver paper and revealed a black velvet box. As I opened it, I could literally feel Carlisle's gaze on me as he observed my reaction.

In the box, there was a simple but elegant necklace with a dark blue sapphire pendant. My mouth dropped open. I had never been into jewelry – I'd given up on wearing earrings a long time ago, because I kept losing them – but this necklace...wow. Just wow.

I didn't know what I'd expected, but it was not this. One might give this type of gift to their girlfriend or wife, and I obviously was neither of those things to Carlisle. Since there was nothing serious about our relationship, why had he given me something that literally screamed "serious?"

I was so confused.

"Carlisle...oh, my goodness. This is way too much." I raised my gaze from the necklace to meet his blue eyes. I didn't know what to say. I didn't even dare to think how much the necklace must have cost. Even though it was a simple design, something about it made me believe it had been anything but cheap.

"Do you like it?" he asked me quietly, ignoring my words.

"Of course, but that's beside the point."

Again, he didn't even seem to hear my words. He took the necklace from the box and reached out to fasten it around my neck.

"I thought since sapphire is your birthstone..." he murmured, his soft words trailing off. He gave me a small smile. "I was going to ask you if you even like blue, but I didn't want to give anything away."

"I like blue," I answered quietly, holding his gaze. "I've grown very fond of...blue."

He just smiled. I rose to my tiptoes to kiss him. "Thank you. I still think it's too much, but...thank you."

"You're welcome." He pressed a soft kiss on my cheek, before taking a step back and grabbing his coat. "Sleep well, Bella. Happy birthday."

I stood there for a long time after he'd left. I pressed a palm over the pendant resting against my chest, feeling more confused than ever.

My mom was already in bed when I eventually came from the hallway; we always shared my bed whenever she was visiting me. Maybe it was weird, but that word pretty much described our relationship, anyway.

"Everything okay?" she asked me.

I took a towel from the drawer and gathered my pajamas. I just nodded, still too confused about Carlisle's gift to say anything else. I needed a moment to gather myself. "Yeah. I'll be right back."

I made my way into the bathroom, locking the door behind me. After taking off the necklace, I took a long shower, partly because I hoped Renée would fall asleep while I was busy in the bathroom. I even spent a little more time washing my hair than was necessary, but I could only delay the conversation so long. After brushing my teeth and pulling on my pajamas, I made my way back to the bedroom, toweling my hair in the process. As expected, my mom was still fully awake.

"What's the matter, Birthday Girl?" Renée asked, looking at me curiously. Apparently, something in my expression told her something was going on with me.

"It's past midnight. It's not my birthday anymore." I gave her a distracted smile, placing the sapphire necklace on the table by the door.

"What's that?" my mom asked. I heard her get up and cross the room to me.

I sighed, finally meeting her eyes. "Carlisle gave it to me. Just before he left."

Renée quirked her eyebrows. "Wow. It's beautiful. That's a good sign, you know. When a man gives you jewelry, he must really like you," she winked.

I blew out a breath, my eyes finding the necklace again. "I don't know. That's the thing. Whatever we have...it's nothing serious. That's why I haven't bothered to tell you about him."

"Oh? So, you're seeing him, but it's not exclusive?"

I drew in a deep breath, trying to calm my rushing mind. I walked slowly to the bed and sat down. "I don't know," I said again. "I mean... No. We're not exclusive. I haven't even known him that long. I met him just a few weeks ago. He told me right off the bat he's not interested in a serious relationship. We agreed on keeping things casual. That's it."

"Okay," Renée said slowly. She followed me and sat down on the other side of the bed. I turned around to face her. I was suddenly glad my relationship with my mother was what it was – that we could talk about anything, even stuff like this. "Don't take this the wrong way, Bella," she began, "but that doesn't sound like you. You've never been interested in casual flings. Why now?"

"I'm not sure. He's an interesting man. I kept running into him in strange situations, and...well, it's like someone out there kept saying I should go for it. That I'd regret it if I didn't."

"So...you're just having fun? That's all?"

I nodded. "Yeah. He made it very clear from the beginning that serious relationships aren't his thing."

"Did he say why?"

I shook my head. "He has...issues. Something happened to him, but I'm not sure what. I think he might be a widower, but I can't be certain. We don't talk about personal stuff like that. Or he doesn't talk about those things, to be accurate."

"Do you like him?" Renée asked quietly.

I sighed, closing my eyes. "Yeah. I do. I like him too much," I swallowed hard. "Probably more than he likes me."

"I wouldn't say that. You know, Bella...of course, I can't know what's going on with him, but I do know men don't give expensive necklaces to women they're not taking at least a little seriously."

"Sapphire is my birthstone. I got the impression that's the reason he got that necklace for me."

"Maybe, but that thing looks very expensive. He could've given you any number of things, like movie tickets or something else that's more or less impersonal."

"What are you trying to say?" I asked, opening my eyes. "That he likes me?" It made me feel like a teenager, asking something like that.

Renée chuckled. "It's obvious he likes you. I could see how he was looking at you tonight. But I understand why you're confused. If you agreed to keep things light..."

"We did. In the beginning, I found it hard to believe he was even interested in me. I mean, he's twenty years older than me."

"Does it bother you?"

"No. Our age difference was never an issue." I peeked at her under half-closed eyelids. "What did you think when you found out about it? That I'm seeing a man who's your age?"

Renée shrugged. "Well, I was surprised, of course, but that's all. Keep in mind that Phil's a lot younger than I am. A lot younger. When it comes to these things, age has little meaning. I should know it." She paused, looking at me closely. "How are you going to go on from here? What are your plans? I mean, do you and Carlisle have rules? Are you both seeing other people?"

"I'm not. And Carlisle has said more than once he doesn't date multiple women at the same time. Apparently, it's not his thing." I blew out a sigh. "As for what our plans are...I don't know. We don't have any. We agreed to take it one day at a time. We keep seeing each other as long as it feels right, I guess."

"Isn't it...frustrating to know your relationship isn't going anywhere?" my mom asked carefully. "It's just that...well, I know you, Bella. There's a reason why you've never been in these types of relationships before."

I bit my lip, considering her question. "It is frustrating, I guess," I admitted. "In a way. I mean, I know I'm not supposed to have any expectations. Carlisle made it very clear a casual relationship is the only thing he's capable of."

"Are you secretly hoping he might change his mind somewhere down the line?"

Again, I had to stop and think about her question. I searched myself, wondering if I was secretly hoping Carlisle would have a change of heart about this. If it was true...it wasn't fair of me to expect that, to nurture those thoughts. Carlisle had been nothing but honest with me about this. It was wrong of me to expect something like that from him, something he was unable to give.

It meant that, if I had expectations, I had to stop having them. Right now. Otherwise, I'd only end up hurting myself.

Realizing I had been quiet for a very long time, I turned to meet Renée's gaze. "I don't know, to be honest. I guess I'm unconsciously hoping things would be different. But the only thing I know for sure is I want to be with him. As long as it feels right, as long as it feels good to spend time with him..." I closed my eyes and shook my head. "I just know I'd regret it for the rest of my life if I didn't at least try to get to know him better."

"You're in love with him."

I tore my eyes open, startled. "No. That's...that's not what this is."

Renée quirked an eyebrow at me. "Are sure about that, Bella?" When I didn't answer, she let out a quiet sigh. Her blue eyes were kind, apologetic. "You said you want to keep going as long as it feels good and right. But Bella, there might be a day when it no longer feels right. Especially if you have feelings for him. I just don't want you to get hurt."

I nodded quickly. "I know. And I'm being...careful. I can always get out, if it starts to feel like I'm making a mistake."

"How do you think Carlisle would react, if you suddenly said you want to walk away?"

I shrugged with forced nonchalance. "He's the one who believes we can't have a future together. I don't think there are a lot of things he can say, if I begin to feel like this isn't something I want for myself. He'd...understand." A large part of me hoped he wouldn't. That he'd refuse to let me go.

Renée stayed silent for a while. She ran a hand through her hair, biting her lip in a thoughtful way. "Well, I do wonder why he is the way he is."

"Beats me."

She turned to look my way. "You said you believe he's a widower. How come?"

"I found a wedding ring when I was staying over at his house. He's never mentioned he's been married, so I assumed it must be a difficult topic for some reason or another. And when I ran into him a few weeks ago, he was coming from the cemetery. And then there are these other strange things. He's having trouble sleeping, for instance, and he once told me he used to be a doctor, but he quit. There has to be a good reason for it."

"Okay. Anything else?"

"He just seems...troubled. And sad. All the time. Like I said, he's having trouble sleeping - he keeps having nightmares. And then there are nights when he barely sleeps at all. It worries me."

Renée frowned. "That's understandable. Have you ever met any of his family, by the way? Does he have siblings, relatives?"

"I don't know. I haven't asked. He doesn't really talk about personal things." Her question made me think about the row of framed photos on the bookshelf in his living room. I thought to myself that I'd have to take a closer look at them the next time I'd visit. So far, I hadn't gotten the chance to do that. During these past weeks when I'd spent time at Carlisle's house, we'd always ended up spending our time in the bedroom. For obvious reasons.

"You know, Bella," Renée said, as she drew back the covers on her side of the bed and lay down, "If you want to know more about Carlisle, the only solution is that you open your mouth and ask questions. I imagine it'll only get more stressful if you have to keep guessing what's going on with him."

"I have asked him about some stuff a couple of times," I answered, "And I've even told him I'm worried about him. But he once said some things are hard for him to talk about. There's not much I can do about it. I can only try to respect what he says. Pushing him to talk about it would be wrong."

"Yeah. I guess." Renée pulled the covers over herself and turned onto her side toward me. "I didn't mean to sound like it's your job to figure him out. I mean, maybe it's not. I guess I'm just wondering how you feel about it. Is there a part of you that hopes he'd let you in? That he'd confide in you about the things that trouble him?"

I nodded slowly. "Yeah. There is." I swallowed, meeting her gaze. "Sometimes, I feel so lost when it comes to him. I mean, what should I do? What is there to do?"

Renée didn't answer right away. "Maybe nothing," she answered gently. "I know. That's not something you want to hear. But I just want you to be realistic about this. And I also want you to remember that, you shouldn't try to fix something that can't be fixed. You might only end up broken yourself." She pulled her hand from under the covers and grasped mine.

"Is that your only advice?" I asked, feeling slightly dispirited.

She smiled softly. "No. My other advice is to take it one moment at a time. And as cliché as it sounds, do what your heart tells you."

A/N: Renee's line, "You need something to keep you warm in this gloomy, rainy city," is a reference to the moment that takes place in the movie, Eclipse, when Bella visits her mom and gets that early graduation present from her.