Where's Dandy?

I can't say things magically changed after talking to Jack, but they did get easier. I started to see more and more of the Jack I'd gotten a glimpse of that first day in my office and finally understood what Doralice meant when she said he was charming. He still had moments when he was quiet and withdrawn with me, but it was nothing like before. Maudie continued to improve too. Just like the doctor said, the colic started to go away as mysteriously as it had come. She would still wake several times throughout the night, but it was pretty easy to calm her down. There were even times when she would quiet down on her own.

Now that me and Jack were on more of an even keel and Maudie was sleeping easier I tried to get back on a regular schedule at the saloon. I think that in and of itself helped everyone. It had been chaotic the last few weeks trying to figure out where I needed to be and when I needed to be there but making myself keep a regular schedule helped everyone else find some order too. I'd work two or three hours in the afternoons, go home for a while then head back to Maude's for the night, going home at closing or sometimes a little before.

This particular day Jack was with me at Maude's. Doralice had a couple of lady friends coming over for coffee, and she thought Jack might enjoy not being stuck in a house full of women. I guess she had a point, but I have to say I wasn't thrilled to be on my own with Jack. It wasn't that I minded having him but it was the first time since our talk we'd been alone together and I was nervous about what might happen. True he was acting better, more like a kid, but he wasn't completely at ease with me yet, and my office wasn't the most exciting place to spend the afternoon, even for me. I knew I needed to do my part with him though and Doralice needed some grownup time, so I was going to do my best with him.

We'd been at Maude's about an hour, me going over some invoices and Jack was looking at a book. Just like the first time we'd been here he sat quietly on the sofa and flipped through the pages just like he was reading. The book was one of my Dickens, he'd gotten it off the shelf in my office, and I was sure he couldn't actually read it, but he was certainly staring at it like he could.

I watched him out of the corner of my eye for close to twenty minutes before curiosity finally got the best of me. I'd seen Jack "read" several times and I wanted to know just how much of the books he understood. "Hey, Jack?"

He looked up from the book. "Yes, sir?" It was a relief that he answered my question without looking like I was about to hit him.

I motioned towards the book. "Can you read that?"

He looked at the book and then back at me. "No. Well, some of the words."

"So you just look at them?"

Jack nodded. "Mostly. Sometimes I make up my own stories."

I hadn't expected that, but then Jack did a lot I didn't expect. "Okay."

Jack went back to his book and I went back to my paperwork. Even though he was acting more like a kid, Jack was a puzzle I wasn't sure I would ever work out. I've always enjoyed reading but I couldn't remember sitting for any extended amount of time and just looking at a book I couldn't read. But if he was happy I couldn't see that there was anything wrong with it.

Another five or ten minutes passed and then it occurred to me there was no reason for Jack to be sitting there staring at a book he couldn't read. I'd told Doralice just a few days ago that I needed to do better at trying to reach Jack, and this was a perfect time. "Jack," I said as I started putting my papers away. "Would you be interested in a game of poker

Jack looked up from his book again. "Do you know how to play poker?"

I had to laugh at the innocently asked question. Jack had no reason to know how proficient I was at the game. As far as he knew I'd been in Little Bend, working at Maude's, my whole life. Still, given how I'd actually spent most of my adult life, it was funny to think I wouldn't know how to play poker. "Yes, sir, I do. The same men that taught you taught me."

"Oh." Jack was quiet for a moment before he hopped off the sofa and hurried over to my desk. "Okay," he said sliding to a stop in front of me.

I cleared off space on my desk and pulled one of the extra chairs up close for Jack. Jack eagerly got on the chair and sat on his knees to make himself a little higher. Once he was situated he looked up at me expectantly. I much preferred this child to the silent one who only stared at me.

I pulled out a deck and offered them to Jack. "Would you like to start?"

Jack's eyes lit up as he reached for the cards. His shuffling was sloppy, as most six-year-olds would be, but he was pretty good at dealing. After a couple of hands, I found myself naturally slipping into a teaching role, giving Jack different pointers and telling him about tricks people might use, and I enjoyed it. Jack was attentive and eager to learn, and I was surprised by how much he seemed to remember from his time with Pappy. Given time we could make him as good as any Maverick.

"You know, your daddy's a good player too," I said after we'd played for half an hour or so.

I saw the change come over Jack as soon as I mentioned Dandy and I could have kicked myself for bringing the topic up. Jack hadn't mentioned his father since that day in his bedroom, and I hoped my careless offhanded remark wouldn't push him back into his little corner. Judging from the look on his face, I was afraid that had just happened so I was surprised when he spoke up.

"Have you known him a long time?"

"I suppose you could say that." I'd known Jim longer than Jack had been alive; at six I was sure that seemed like a long time.

Jack laid his cards on the desk. "What's he like?"

I leaned back in my chair and thought about that. What was Dandy Jim like? All the things that immediately came to mind were things I wasn't about to tell Jack, but the man did have some good points; a couple anyway. "Well, you look a lot like him. Did your mama ever tell you that?"

Jack smiled shyly and nodded. "She said my eyes were like his."

"They are. And he usually dresses really fancy."

"Like you?"

I chuckled. "Even fancier than me. He likes his coats and ties and vests in bright colors. And his boots are always so shiny you can see yourself in them."

"Mama told me he traveled a lot and that's why he wouldn't come to see us."

"He does travel a lot. That's how we met."

Jack cocked his head and studied me a moment. "Did you used to travel a lot too?"

"I did," I replied getting a sinking feeling this talk was about to swerve off into territory I wasn't prepared to explore.

"But you don't now."

It was a statement not a question and my feeling of foreboding grew. "Not much, no."

"Why?"

With the simple one word question, my worst fears were realized. Jack was looking for a reason for his father's absence. Eventually, he'd work his way around to wanting to know exactly where his father was and why he hadn't come to get him, and I couldn't answer either of those questions. "I got married," I told him. Something became more important to me than traveling was, and even if I hadn't told Jack that in so many words I knew he'd pick up on it. The next inevitable question would be, was he, as Jim's son, important enough for Dandy to give something up.

Jack sighed and was quiet for nearly a solid minute. "Bart," he finally said. "Is my daddy really coming to get me?"

At that moment I made a decision. Right or wrong, good or bad, I didn't know and I didn't care. Jack needed something to hold onto, something real, not just a vague answer meant to pacify him, and I decided to give it to him. I'd worry about the consequences and ramifications later.

I leaned across my desk. "Jack, I don't know why your dad's not here yet; something must have happened to hold him up, but he's coming. If he wasn't coming, he wouldn't have had you brought here. I know he's been gone a long time, but we're gonna find out why. He is coming to see you."

Jack had been staring intently at the floor but at those words, he looked up, and for the first time since the day he arrived, gave me a real smile.

XXXXXXX

The promise I'd made Jack seemed to change him completely. He remained chatty and in good spirits the rest of the afternoon and I was just hoping I would be able to keep my promise to him. If Jim didn't show up and soon, I wasn't sure what it would do to Jack. I'd been ready for Jim to show up since day one, but that was mostly for my own sanity. Now I needed Jim to show up for Jack. The poor kid had it in his head he wasn't wanted, and no one deserves to feel like that. I still wasn't sure how to go about finding out exactly what was going on with Dandy, but I needed to figure it out, and quick.

On the way home, we stopped by the general store to pick up the mail and I treated both Jack and myself to a peppermint stick while we waited. Jack was practically inhaling his when my mail was passed over to me and I flipped through it as we went out the door. There was nothing remarkable about the first two, but the third stopped me in my tracks. It was from one James A. Buckley and seeing it left a knot of dread in my stomach. I should have been happy to see anything from the man but something was telling me this wasn't going to be a nice friendly letter.

"What's wrong, Bart?"

The sound of Jack's voice pulled me out of my stupor and looked over to find Jack giving me a funny look. "Huh?"

"What's wrong?" he asked again.

"Nothin'," I said forcing a smile. No need to tell Jack about the letter until I knew what was in it, especially if my gut instinct was right and this wasn't going to be a thanks-for-looking-after-my-son-and-I'm-coming-to-get-him-soon type of thing. I tucked the letters inside my coat. "Let's go."

That seemed to satisfy Jack and he started back down the boardwalk. I followed at a slower pace, itching to find out what was in that letter.

Doralice's company was gone by the time we got home and it looked like the grownup time had done her a world of good. She was smiling and seemed more rested than she had in months. "Did you boys have a good afternoon?" she asked brightly as we came in.

Jack immediately started talking about our poker game and Doralice gave me a smile. Nice as it was to see Jack talk to Doralice about me and not sound like he hated my guts, Jim's letter was burning a hole in my pocket, and I needed a few minutes alone to read it. After making sure Doralice didn't need me for anything, I hurried to our bedroom and pulled out the letter.

I sighed as I looked at it. Maybe it was the name bothering me; James. Why had he sent me a letter and used James? Was that because of Doralice, or was Jim being formal because of the way he was raised? I told myself either of those were a possibility, but I had a feeling there was more to it than that. Taking a deep breath, I opened the envelope and pulled out the letter.

Bart,

You know by now that there was more to my package than I told you. I do apologize for that but I was desperate. I needed your help and knew if I gave you all the details, you would refuse, and rightly so. I'm certain by this time you are wondering if you'll ever see me again. I'm penning this letter to tell you, you won't. I can't imagine you have any desire to anyway.

Whatever possessed the boy's mother to think I would be a suitable guardian I'll never know. We both know how preposterous that notion is. Most would call it a miracle I've been able to take care of myself thus far; I'm certainly not qualified to see after a child.

His mother's request was that I see him cared for and I've spent the last several weeks wondering how best to do that. I've finally decided the most gracious act I can perform is to leave him right where he is, with the best man I know. He'll have a far better life in your care than he would in mine. Finding out you now have children of your own has only reinforced my opinion that Little Bend is a better place for him than any place I might end up. Bring him up however you see fit and claim him as your own if you like. You'll receive no interference or objections from me.

I'm sure you won't think I have the right to offer any excuses, but I would like to say that I never intended for things to end here, in this way. When I asked for your assistance, I truly planned to return for the boy, but these last weeks have shown me just how ill-prepared I was to accept custody of him. Doubtless, you and your lovely wife have seen to his every need of late, and I'm just as sure you will continue to do so for as long as needed. I am aware there will be expenses connected to his care and I'm prepared to send you funds to cover them. He will inherit no small amount from his mother once he is of legal age, but I will provide you with a tidy sum that should help with his keep until then.

The only thing I can say, Bart, is thank you. I hold many fond memories of our times together and it pains me that our association has come to such an abrupt and inglorious end. You showed me many courtesies through the years, far more than I deserved, I'm sure. I ask you now show those courtesies to the boy instead, and I have no doubt you will. Goodbye, Bart.

James A. Buckley

I read it through once and then once more just to make sure I was seeing it right. By the end of my second reading it hit me that I'd been right, Jim wasn't planning on coming back, and anger boiled up inside of me. I jumped up from the bed with a curse. Picking up a pillow off the bed I threw it at the far wall. It didn't do anything to sate my anger but I knew I couldn't throw anything that would draw attention so I started pacing the room and calling Jim every name I could think of.

How could he do this? How could he put Jack through this? How could he be so heartless? Why had he agreed to this just to leave Jack with me? Why had he picked me? The questions kept coming and I had no answers for any of them. As I paced the confines of my room seething and cussing Jim out under my breath, my anger started to fade. I was still plenty mad, but I was becoming more rational and I finally flopped back down and read the letter one more time.

This time as I read it, two things stuck out to me. One was Jim's claim that he had planned on coming back. I wasn't sure I believed that, but it did make sense. Why claim a kid only to stick him with someone else? It didn't make me any less angry, but I did feel a little better that this hadn't been some great plot against me from the beginning. The second thing I noticed was Jim's words "the best man I know." I should have been flattered, and maybe I sort of was, but this was still a rotten thing to do to Jack and I wasn't going to let him get away with it.

Heaving a sigh, I tucked the letter back into my coat. I couldn't deal with Jim right now. Doralice would have supper ready soon and I still had to go back to Maude's for the night. My first concern was getting through the rest of the night, then I'd worry about what I was going to do about my shiftless cowardly ex-friend.

No sooner had I opened the door then I saw Doralice. "I was just coming to get you," she said. "What's wrong?"

"Nothin'," I said giving her the same forced smile I'd given Jack earlier; she wasn't as easy to convince.

"Bart." She took my arm and sort of pushed me back into the bedroom. "What's wrong?"

"I'm not sure yet." The look she gave me gave me told me she wasn't buying it so I tried another approach. "It's something I need to think on for a while. Will you give me until tomorrow?" Not only did I need to think about this, I didn't want Doralice to know yet. I knew this news would upset her and it would be best for everyone if she wasn't aware of the situation tonight.

She didn't look happy about it but she nodded. "If you promise to tell me in the morning."

"I will. As soon as we can get a minute to ourselves."

I put on my best face for supper and I think I did alright. If Jack noticed anything being off he didn't say anything, and Doralice seemed to be able to forget about it as well. After supper, I spent some time with the girls and helped Doralice get them ready for bed before I headed back to the saloon for the rest of the night.

Thankfully it was a quiet night and I was allowed to think about my current situation with Dandy, and by morning I was determined I was not going to let him leave Jack without a word. I'd told that boy his father was coming and he was coming, even if I had to drag him back to Little Bend myself. More than likely that's exactly what I was going to have to do. There was still the problem of me not knowing where Jim was but now, thanks to Jim himself, I had had some help with that. The letter he sent had a nice neat postmark on it. That at least gave me a starting point; hopefully, Jim wasn't going to be in too big a hurry to get out of town.

Things were peaceful enough that I managed to leave early and then I reluctantly I went home to tell Doralice what was going on. I didn't even want to imagine her reaction. Honestly, I wasn't looking forward to tarnishing her image of Jim either. She may have had her doubts at times, but I knew she'd always expected Jim to do the honorable thing. It was going to be a blow when she found out he was behaving like the cad Bret always claimed he was.

I didn't have long to worry about how I was going to destroy my wife's opinion of Dandy.

Doralice practically met me at the door when I walked in. "You didn't wait up for me, did you?" I asked with a smile.

Doralice returned the smile, but it didn't look genuine. "No, I was up with the girls earlier. I was hoping you would be home early. You did say we needed some time to ourselves."

"I did. Let's go in the bedroom." I took her hand and led her to our room. Once we were inside Doralice sat down on the edge of the bed. "Alright, what's going on?"

"I got a letter from Jim yesterday," I told her as I started to undress. There was no reason to drag this out.

"That's good, isn't it? Did he say when he was coming back?"

"Yeah," I told her as I all but ripped my shirt off. Just talking about this was making me angry again. "He's not."

There was a long moment of silence. "What?" Doralice finally asked softly.

I turned around and faced her. "He said he's not coming back. Said Jack would be better off here, with us."

Doralice stared at me in disbelief. Slowly that disbelief turned to anger and she jumped to her feet. "How can he do this?" she demanded angrily stalking back and forth across the room. "He can't just abandon that little boy?"

"He's scared," I responded flatly. It was the only thing I'd been able to come up with, and it was an understandable feeling. It didn't excuse what he was doing, but I could understand it.

"That's not an excuse," she snapped. "Doesn't he think Jack's scared too? First, he loses his mama and then he has to come here and . . . he doesn't deserve this. He needs to know his daddy cares about him. He already has doubts, this will crush him." She finally stopped pacing and stood in the middle of the room, arms crossed. "I never would have thought James was capable of something like this, something so irresponsible and . . . cowardly."

I actually winced at the venom I heard Doralice put into the word cowardly. Many times in the old days both me and Jim adamantly claimed to be cowards, it was different hearing it from my wife, however. I now knew I never wanted to hear Doralice use the word coward to describe me. I'd been afraid of tarnishing Jim's image, but I was thinking this had more tarnished it. Jim was going to have to do something big to get back into Doralice's good graces. At the moment, the only shine Dandy had left was on his boots.

"Would you like to read the letter?" I asked offering it to her.

Doralice scoffed but took the letter. The room was silent while she read and once she was done she passed it back with a sigh. "I don't believe it. What are we going to tell Jack?"

"For now, nothing."

"Bart, we can't keep this from him. Eventually, he has to know."

"No, he doesn't, because Jim's coming back. I told Jack his father was coming to see him and he's going to."

"How do you plan on getting him here? We don't know where he is."

"Well, Jim was nice enough to mail this to us." I picked up the envelope and pointed to the postmark. "I know he was in Hot Springs, Arkansas not long ago."

Doralice smiled. "You really would make a good detective, but don't you think he would have thought of that too? What makes you think he'll still be there? He could be anywhere now."

"Maybe, but I don't think so. I figure he'll think he's pretty safe now and from what I know of Hot Springs it's Dandy's kind of place. Anyway, at least it's a starting point. I thought I'd send a few telegraphs when the office opens. Even if he left, that ought to give me a general idea of where to look. Dandy isn't known for blending in; people tend to remember him."

"That could take a while."

"It could, but I'm hoping not. Are you okay with that?"

Doralice nodded. "No, you're right. Jack needs to see his father."

And Jim needed to see Jack, even if it was only once. I took a deep breath and decided to bring up the other thing I'd thought about last night. "I've been thinkin'," I told her as I crossed over to her. "I don't plan on coming back alone, but if I do, or if Jim decides to run again . . . ."

"Yes?"

I put my hands on her shoulders. "Jack needs a home, Doralice. He deserves one."

Doralice almost smiled. "And you're wondering what we do with him if you can't find James."

"Something like that."

"He seems to be doing well here. No reason to change it."

"So you won't mind if . . . ." I wasn't sure when I'd decided that I wanted Jack to stay here if Jim really did turn out to be as cowardly as he was acting now, but it had happened. I couldn't imagine turning Jack over to anyone else.

Doralice shook her head and I finally got a real smile. "No. Jack has a home here for as long as he needs it, even if it turns out to be indefinitely."

I grinned and wrapped her in a hug. "I'm glad to hear you say that."

"I'm glad to hear you say that," she told me with a chuckle. "But that doesn't mean I don't want to bring James back," she hastily added. "Jack's a good boy, and I care about him very much, but he deserves to know his father. And his father needs to see his son."

"I couldn't agree more. I have every intention of bringing his daddy back home."

Dandy was definitely coming. I may have to ride clear across the country and hogtie him, but Dandy was coming.