Sam was proud of himself for making yet another angel cry (Gabriel was the second one, after Sam had broken off his friendship with Castiel when he decided to marry his sister Clarissa,) He caught one of Gabriels tears and put it in his angel tear scrapbook next to Castiel's tears from so so long ago.
"If only now I can get one from the toughest angel ever... BATHLAZER"
"OOH CAN I HELP YOU MAKE HIM CRY? HE STOLE MY GIRLFREIND!" said Crowley, appearing suddenly.
"What the heck? No way you creep, get out of my house."
So he did, sulkingly.
So then Sam rolled out his super secret genius blueprint with his idea on how to set out and collect the tears of Bathsalt.
Meanwhile, Gabriel did the only thing that would ever make him happy in that moment...
That's right. HE Went to court and legally changed his last name from nothing to Jonas.
"Hello world," he said as he walked out of the courtroom, swinging the doors open epicly and confidently (nobody heard him).
"Say goodbye to the old Gabriel, and sya hello to the new and improved GABRIEL JONAS"
he put on a leather jacket and flipped the collar up. He was already wearing leather pants and sunglasses, duh to match his newly moussed, neatly combed and spiked rebel hairdo.
He was cool now.