To burn with desire and keep

quiet about it is the greatest

punishment we can bring on ourselves.

-Frederico Garcia Lorca

Meg was without a doubt, the best dancer in the ballet. As a result, she quickly rose through the ranks and it wasn't long before she was given more prominent roles in the operas. No singing roles, but enough stage time to earn her a lot of favor with Michele. When she told me she had landed her first speaking role, we laughed and hugged like we were little girls again.

"Oh, congratulations, Meg! You deserve it."

"Thank you, Christine. I just wish you were going to be onstage with me!"

"Well, maybe I will be soon," I said, a genuine smile on my face.

We were sitting on my huge bed, surrounded by green canopy. Meg said, "You have seemed much happier lately, dear. It's wonderful to hear you sing again! Le Vicomte has seemed happier, too. The two of you aren't…" She waggled her eyebrows at me.

I threw a pillow at her and laughed. "Of course not!"

She ducked with a giggle. "Well, you are practically married, aren't you? Haven't you thought about it?"

Meg and I had had many conversations just like this one back at the opera house, whispering in the darkness of the dorm. Which chorus girl was sleeping with which set designer, and so on. Now, though, things were very different. My mind flashed back to my dreams, but I blocked it out immediately. "Truthfully," I said, "with all that's happened…" I trailed off to let Meg think that I was still too traumatized to talk about it. I never told her about the night Raoul had had too much to drink. Meg's face filled with sympathy and I felt a pang of guilt; when did I start hiding so much from her? My mind answered, When you met your angel of music. Meg stayed with me that night, and I was glad. Just like when we were girls and I would have nightmares about my father's dying breaths, we held each other close and I felt so safe. She kept my dreams away, but I couldn't convince myself that they were nightmares. They scared me for a very different reason.

Only days later, it was the day of Meg's premiere. I sighed into my pillow and wondered if Meg had been able to sleep at all… I know I haven't. Meg had been rehearsing so constantly, I'd had no time to visit my teacher. I'd done what I could to practice on my own, but something in me was wilting again the longer I neglected my lessons. I supposed it was because I'd never gone this long between lessons while I was living at the Opera House. Before I sang my first aria in Hannibal, anyway; everything changed that day. Meg needed me there with her, to build her up as I've always done. I was happy to do it, but I was also anxious to get back to my master. It had been three days since my last lesson; would he be alright? After our heated conversation, we hadn't talked of anything but music, but everything else was always there, waiting to be dragged into the light. With no one but his thoughts and music to keep him human, would he grow to hate me again? Had he ever stopped? I dressed silently, not waiting for the maid to come in and assist me. When Angeline did enter, her eyes went wide and she gently scolded me for not summoning her to fix my hair and lace my dress.

When I went down for breakfast, Meg was nowhere in sight, nor was Madame Giry. Raoul was seated at the table, but stood when he saw me approaching and held his arms out to me. I went into them with a smile and a kiss, glad for us to be alone for once. When I'd taken my seat next to him, I said, "Where is Meg and Madame Giry?"

Raoul shook his head at the newspaper he was reading over his coffee. "They've gone to the opera house to prepare. Honestly, you girls take this too seriously. My father always told me that the best way to handle a big event was to prepare all you could two days before, then not give it a thought until it happened. I think performances are just the same."

"Oh, Raoul," I said, rolling my eyes at him. He smirked at me and I let all the affection I had for him show on my face. Before he could lean over to kiss me, the servants came in with breakfast.

When we'd finished eating Raoul stood and held his hand out to me. "I have something to show you," he said.

He led me upstairs and into my room, where Angeline came in, holding a large box with a red bow. "What is this?" I said, nervous.

His hand brushed along my cheek. "For tonight," he said and gently pushed me toward the bed, where Angeline had placed the box with a smile. She discreetly ducked out of the room.

"Tonight?" I rand my hand along the satin bow, marveling at the feel. "I wish you wouldn't buy me so many things, Raoul."

"Christine, open it before I die of anticipation," he said, laughing.

I rolled my eyes at him again, but pulled on the bow and lifted the box's lid. It was filled with silk of the deepest amethyst. I reached in and lifted a heavy dress, the most beautiful dress I'd ever seen in my life. It looked straight from a queen's closet, of the newest cuts and most fashionable silks. The skirt was gathered into cascades of cream lace trim, purple peeking through here and there. It looked like a flower turned upside down and dipped in light. I gasped and said, "Raoul, I can't accept this!"

"Whyever not?" he said, stepping closer.

"It's too much! We're not married."

"We will be soon, and I was hoping… this could be a sort of pre-wedding gift. To start things off, so to speak." His eyes were so hopeful, it broke my heart.

"Raoul, I know it's awful of me to keep asking you to wait. I just…"

He waved a hand in the air. "No, Christine, it's alright. I just hope that you know that marriage will be no different than how things are now, except," his hands took the beautiful gown from me and laid it down on the bed, "instead of sharing only your days with me, you'll share your nights, too." His fingers trailed along my neck, softly tracing my skin.

"You know I love you Raoul, but I just need a little more time." I caught his fingers with mine and brought them to my lips. He smiled, but I could see the disappointment there.

"We can talk more later. Now, I'm sorry, but I have meetings all day today. I'll arrange a carriage to take you to the opera house, I'm sure you'll want to help Meg rehearse, yet again. Tonight, I hope to see you wearing my gift." He gave me a lingering kiss, and I closed my eyes and let my head fall back. Spending the rest of my life in his embrace wouldn't be a bad way to live, I thought.

"Thank you," I whispered. "I love it."

"I love you," he whispered back before he left the room, bound for his study.

When the carriage dropped me back at Raoul's home after Meg's rehearsals ended, I almost ran up the stairs, frightened I'd dreamed the beautiful gown. But no, there it was hanging on my wardrobe, waiting for me. Angeline rushed into the room after me, breathing hard. I smiled at her and said, "Well, Angeline. I suppose it's time to get ready."

I twirled in front of the mirror, marveling at the way the silk caught the light from the candles. My hair was twisted into an elegant design on top of my head, cream lace braided into the chocolate curls. "Oh, mademoiselle, you are beautiful," Angeline said. I did look beautiful, more so than I think I ever had before. I was vain enough to be elated, though the dress was not without its cost. The cut made my waist so narrow that Angeline had had to lace me into a new corset, and the spines were digging into my ribs, preventing me from taking a deep breath. Still, I looked as fashionable as any princess with my slim figure and exposed arms.

I gave her a teary hug. "I just hope le Vicomte agrees. I think I'll go and ask him, It's almost time to leave, after all." With a smile, I spun and headed towards Raoul's study. I could hear the familiar drone of male voices coming from it, but as I came closer, I noticed that the door had been left open a crack. Now, Raoul's business was his business, and when I heard that his voice was angry and the others were arguing, I should have turned around and gone back up to my room, but I didn't. I softened my steps, and crept even closer.

Raoul's voice was clear. "... been two months, and nothing! You promised me that thing would be behind bars within a week. Now, what are you doing to find him?"

A deep, gravelly voice answered, "Monsieur, we are doing everything we can. Patrols set up around the city, every train and road out of town has been checked and guarded."

"Obviously we have to look harder! He's hiding somewhere, probably waiting for the right opportunity to come after her again."

"Monsieur-"

"No! I'm done with your excuses. Where have you searched?"

"You were with us when we searched the catacombs, we've interrogated every opera house worker in the city, searched from the church towers to the sewers. Honestly, sir, he's a ghost. There's no trace."

I heard Raoul's pacing stop. "He's no ghost," he said finally, his voice tired. "He's a lunatic who must be made to pay for his crimes. You say you've searched everywhere? Well, search it all again, starting with the tunnels below the Populaire. He won't make a fool of us all again. It ends."

The other man gave a heavy sigh, but said, "First thing in the morning, Vicomte. I am a man of my word, and we will find him. And kill him."

My stomach dropped and my lungs felt as though they were filled with lead. The corset seemed to slice my body in half at the waist and I saw black spots in front of my eyes. My mind was racing, but the only thought that rose to the surface was this: I had to save him. They would find my teacher in the catacombs, and they would kill him. No trial, no jail. Raoul was thanking the man who promised to kill my angel of music, and their footsteps were getting closer to the door. I spun and ran as quietly as I could back up the stairs and into my room. I shut the door, putting my back against it and my hand over my pounding heart. What could I do? I had to save him. I had to save him. My eyes filled with tears and I thought of how Raoul had promised me he would let this go. My mind swam back to that night below the opera house. The worst night of my life…

Raoul clambered into the boat, nearly tipping into the water in his desperate haste. Once steady, he turned back to me, his arms stretched out to pull me in with him, but I hesitated.

"No, I can't leave it like this." I heard my voice shake and could feel my eyes go wide with determination.

Panic set into Raoul's face, draining his handsome features of color. "Christine, come into the boat," he pleaded.

I took a step back. "I won't be long." My back turned on the man I'd chosen and spun again when i heard a splash behind me as the boat rocked with Raoul's leap to the shore. He caught my shoulders in his hands.

"Christine, it's not safe! We barely escaped from that madman, that demon! My love, I'm begging you…"

I pressed a hand to his smooth cheek. "I will return to you, Raoul, I promise. I will return, but it can't end this way. Wait for me here..."

Once we were back in the little boat and heading for freedom, I put a hand on his chest and said, "Raoul, we have to let him go. Promise me, you'll let him go."

"Christine-"

"Promise me."

"Alright. We'll let him go..."

"Christine?" A knock on my door made me gasp, and I clapped a hand over my mouth. "My love, it's time to go! We don't want to be late for Meg's premiere."

I quietly moved to the bed, and took a couple deep breaths until I thought my voice would be steady. "Raoul, darling," I called to the door. "I'm afraid I'm not feeling very well. A sudden headache. I can barely open my eyes. Please go on without me, and tell Meg how sorry I am, but I'll have to come to the performance tomorrow."

"Oh, Christine, we can't miss this!"

"I feel terrible, Raoul, but I have to. But I want you to go! You have to make sure to cheer very loud for her." My voice ended on a crack and I choked back a sob. I had to leave, I had to warn my angel. And I had to get away from Raoul. There was no time for this.

"I will stay here with you." The doorknob rattled, and I thanked God that I remembered to lock it. "Christine?"

"No, dear, please. If neither of us are there, Meg will be devastated. Please, I have to go to sleep now."

"...Alright. But unlock the door so Angeline can care for you. I'll have her bring up some tea. I'm praying you feel better, love."

"Thank you, but I don't want tea. I just want to sleep." I said it perhaps too firmly, because Raoul just gave a weak, "Alright," and his footsteps retreated. I waited until I heard his carriage depart from the house before creeping quietly out of the room, down the stairs, and out the door, only stopping to grab my cloak and wait for a couple servants to walk past. The night was cold, but I barely felt it as I threw my cloak over my purple gown, trimmed with cream lace, and walked toward the Populaire.

So let me first thank everyone for reading. This chapter is unedited, so if you find mistakes, I apologize. I just thought I would get it out quickly, but it may be taken down and a more carefully edited version put in its place later. Anyway, I thought it best to get it posted!