Can't breathe.

Hook my arms around

his shoulders

Wide,

strong-

The strength is a lie

As weak as I am,

He needs my strength.

Two paper walls,

We brace for the fall

trusting the other to

catch us both.

I stared out the window for a long time, searching for movement in the tiny yard and the trees beyond, but of course, there was none. Erik could only be seen when he chose to be. My stomach was made of stone as I collapsed on the bed, my face buried into his pillow. With his scent wrapped around me, the fear I'd felt just minutes before was fading fast. He'd done what I asked him to do- he'd left me alone. Even though I knew that he loved me more than anything, I also knew that he had a hard time trusting me. Had I just destroyed every bit of tenuous trust I'd managed to build with him? Why had I said those things? I didn't feel imprisoned, did I? Not since the fire had he made me feel that way. So why did I have that dream? Why did Erik's face terrorize me in the dark, but also make me feel precious and loved? What if I'd ruined everything? What if he gave me the freedom I'd just accused him of stealing? My mind balked at the sense of loss. I was so cold without him. Tears soaked his pillow.

Hours later, I was still curled into our bed, my face pressed into his pillow. The sun was sinking low in the sky by the time I finally rose to splash water on my face and take care of some basic needs. The water from the pitcher was cold and hurt my teeth as I gulped it down, but I was so thirsty from the tears. I was filling the glass again when I heard hoofbeats outside. My first thought was that it was Erik, but I hadn't heard the horse leave the barn when he'd left. I ran from our bedroom, down the stairs to the front door, and threw my back against it. My heart was pounding and I was sure we'd been found, either by Raoul, the gendarmes, or the militia. If they took me, and Erik came back to find the house empty, or an ambush in wait... I couldn't bear to think of it. Slowly, I pulled back the curtain on the window and peered out. The yard was empty, the trees were silent and still, and I couldn't see the horse that I was sure I'd heard. I waited and watched, my fingers cramped from how tightly I was grasping the curtain.

"Christine," Erik's sudden voice from behind me made me scream and whip around. His face was startled and confused as I ran to him and threw my arms around his neck.

"Erik! I thought you'd gone forever. Then I heard a horse and I thought the gendarmes had found me and you'd think I betrayed you. I'm-" Erik's gloved hands pulled my arms from his neck and he stepped back.

"Come with me," he said shortly. Without a response from me, he strode through the tiny kitchen and out the door he'd left open. I followed him, wary of the emotionless way he held himself. He led me around the back of the cottage to the small stable. I saw the black horse that had brought us in the carriage, but there was another horse, a spotted gray mare. Erik walked to the stall and put his hand up to the mare's face. He hung a water bucket on the wall of her stall and patted her neck as she drank.

My steps were slow and loud on the cold ground, but I eventually stood next to him, my eyes fixated on his hand as it rested on the mare. "What's going on?"

"She's yours," Erik said.

"Mine?"

Erik dropped his hand and leaned back against the door of the stall, finally meeting my eyes. There was no expression in them, nothing. "I said I would never let you go again, but I will not chain you to my bed, either. This horse is yours to do with as you please, I won't stop you."

Without another word, Erik pushed himself away from the stall and walked back to the house without a backward glance. Shocked, I watched him disappear inside. The mare banged her water bucket against the wall and it made me jump. The bucket was empty, and she wanted more. Numbly, I lifted the bucket off its hook and took it over to the well, filled it, and brought it back. The mare nuzzled my arm as I lifted the bucket back on its hook, her soft whiskers tickling the skin there. The corner of my mouth lifted in a smile. "You're a good girl, aren't you?" I murmured. "You'd do anything I asked, I'm sure. If we left today, you'd be my only friend in the world." My hand stroked down her neck and the skin on her shoulder twitched. "I'm in love with a man who's in love with me, and I can't leave him."

By the time I went back inside, smoke was rising from the chimney. Erik was seated in front of the fireplace in the parlor, in the same chair in which I'd sat last night. I walked around him and put myself between him and the fire, its heat thick against my back. His eyes were on me, and they were as empty as they'd been outside. My own eyes raked over him, taking in his wild hair, leather mask, white shirt, black pants, and dull, black shoes. His shirt was open at the collar, something he always did whenever the fire was too warm on his skin. I supposed he was used to the cold of the tunnels, so our cottage was stuffy and hot by comparison. My eyes focused on his exposed skin there, where neck turned into chest. The skin was taut and perfect, the fire casting shadows into the hollow at his throat. I'll never forget how it looked on stage, when the two of us were singing that incredible song, full of lust and passion. His throat had captivated me as he sang, and it had terrified me at the same time. I was too stupid to know how I longed for him, even then. Lost in memory and feeling, I moved closer to him and knelt at his feet. My hand looked so small as I reached out and touched him, running my fingertips along the edges of his collar. I saw his chest rise and fall more quickly and felt his eyes on me turn warm. I leaned close and put my lips at the base of his neck. He sighed and ran his fingers through my hair, holding me against him for a moment. I ran my lips up his neck, over his jaw, feeling the rough stubble there, and covered his mouth with mine.

His lips were warm from the fire, but his tongue was cool in my mouth. His legs parted for me to get closer and I pressed my chest against his, my hands tangled in his hair. He moaned and the sound struck through me. He sounded desperate, desperate to know I loved him. I stood long enough to climb onto the chair with him, a leg on either side of his lap, and brushed the hair away from his face. His eyes were glued to mine above him, his lips swollen and parted. I kissed him again, answering his desperation with some of my own. If I was imprisoned, it was my own doing. Every part of me, my very soul, was completely his, and I'd given it to him. There was nothing I wouldn't do to keep him, to save him. I would give my life, I would take a life. He was everything.

His hands were pulling at my skirt, yanking it up to my waist. I rose on my knees and pulled it free, my hands going to the fastening on his trousers. Once his length was free, I sank onto it. We both moaned at the feeling, as if it had been weeks since we'd made love, not hours. Erik's head dropped to my chest, his lips and tongue tracing over my breasts as they peeked out from under my nightgown. I had my head thrown back as I moved, rising up and then slamming down again, seeking every bit of friction I could. His arms were around my back, handfuls of my hair clenched in his fists. It pulled with my movements, but the pain of it was another feeling to add to the pile of sensation. His mouth found a nipple through my nightgown and I jerked at the rough feeling of wet fabric running over me. If I had any sense left at all, I might have been embarrassed at the sounds I was making, but Erik was matching me moan for moan. There was no difference in our passion, nothing but the thought that this was too precious to ever let slip away. He climaxed first, thrusting into me with a hand wrapped around my thigh at his hip, his mouth still on my breast. I followed soon after and ground down on him as I trembled. We sat there for I don't know how long, catching our breath, savoring the closeness. The world was very far away outside, and we were grateful for it.