The rain showed no mercy as I made my way up the hill, sodding my cloak until it clung to me like a second skin, my boots squelching in the puddles and mud. I dragged my feet onwards, shivering. Should have learned those rain shields. Something practical, something useful, but no, I had to take classes in destruction -

I slowed my step. The fort towered over me, ominous in the dark. A circular wall, crumbling into piles of rubble at the foot of it, surrounded the fort itself. Ceilings of stone that seemed to be barely supported by ancient pillars stood overhead. Rain pitter-pattered on stone in an almost comforting rhythm.

Riddled with traps…

I took a deep breath and kept close to the circular wall, making my way around it into the centre of the fort before stopping dead, frowning in the mud. Footprints - boots, scuffed deep in the mud. And hoofprints. Heavy ones that sunk deep, far larger than any horse I'd seen before. I followed the trail with my gaze, my frown deepening. A makeshift stable, and…

Oh. Wow.

Behind planks of wood and sheltered by one of the stone ceilings above stood a horse, a beast of a horse. Pure black with crimson eyes, a smooth and well-kept mane and coat. Beautifully fearsome. She gazed at me with intelligent eyes and snorted, pawing at the ground and tossing her head. I dared step closer, and wrinkled my nose at an all to familiar scent. Blood. It became clear as I neared that she was injured - there was a gash along her side that slid under her belly.

Memories. Sirius letting me watch as one of the mares gave birth, as the foal took its first wobbly steps. Healing the black eye he'd gotten from trying to set the broken ankle of a fierce stallion. Riding for the first time. One of the few things I enjoyed about the mansion, that I was never really alone for the horses grazing in the fields. I stepped closer and whispered. "Would you let me help?"

She must be Lucien's horse. I frowned as she simply stared, then raised her head and moved her gaze away. She wasn't aggressive, at least. I made my way around the stable and carefully set a foot inside. She could crush me into a pile of splintered bone, if she wanted. I shuddered, and felt a chill race through me as she directed her stare again.

Quiet voice, filly, or ye'll scare 'em. Nice and calm and real gentle-like. I whispered words of comfort and approached, raising an apprehensive hand that hovered before, at last, I lay it on her flank. I allowed my magic to move, glowing from my fingertips into her fur, through flesh and muscle, knitting it as one. The wound wasn't deep, at least. She would hardly scar. She jerked suddenly and whinnied, and I turned on my feet.

Lucien approached. Hood pulled low, only a small frown visible, a bundle of bandages and a small jar beneath his arm. "…You healed her."

"Yes." My voice was timid in the dark. "It wasn't much. She'll be fine." He swept past me and I frowned, turning to watch as he ran his gloved hands down her sides. "I told you, she'll be fine. Don't you trust - " … Don't you trust me? I blinked, and let my words trail away.

He turned when he was satisfied, eyeing me, then nodded. "Come inside."

I followed him, confused as he lead not to the great doors of the fortress, but back into the woods where the trees tangled in the dark. I followed his footsteps , pausing as he did by a great redwood, following him around and blinking in astonishment as he simply stepped inside it. It was hollowed, a trapdoor in the bottom. He raised a sardonic brow, and smirked. "You'll excuse my lack of a welcome mat, I trust."

His usual wit. I frowned and descended after him, pausing and grimacing from the ladder as he landed on his feet. He glanced up, smirk widening as I dangled. "Need help?"

I scowled. "I'm fine, thanks." And the drop was - short. I cursed inwardly, inching further downward. This is nothing, I wouldn't even break my ankle if I fell. Still, my body stiffened. I made a sound of disgust, then gasped as I felt hands reach up to support under my arms, and tightened my grip on the ladder.

"You're about two feet from the ground." I could almost hear the cynicism dripping from his words. "There are Altmer who stand at this height regularly. Let go."

I scowled, but slowly released the ladder, squeezing my eyes shut until I felt my feet land safely on solid ground. Well, not so much land as simply step. I swore under my breath. Scaredy cat. One fall from a tree and you can't even climb down ladders proper. At least the one in the sanitary was short.I turned as Lucien strode behind me, and gazed around the room.

Cold stone walls, high and powerful, a simple and sparsely decorated room. A tapestry, depicting the same hand I'd seen on the door of the sanctuary, a small bed and dresser shoved into a corner. A desk, cluttered with quills, papers held down by a skull, crates and barrels of ingredients. A jar of ectoplasm glowed eerily.

"Wine?" I tilted my head at the sound of Lucien's voice, and nodded. Something to warm me up sounded wonderful. I shivered, still soaked to the bone, noticing a small puddle that had formed beneath my boots before he caught my attention again, gesturing for me to sit in one of the chairs pulled by the far wall. "Come, then."

I sat, catching his eye over the goblet he handed to me. He smiled almost politely, and sat, sipping his own wine. "Whatever brought you here at this time of night, pet?"

I shook my head and drained some of the goblet before speaking, sighing in relief as the warmth it brought. "We never finished our discussion earlier. What happened to your horse?"

Lucien's face change, flickering to anger for a moment before becoming calm again. "Someone was trying to steal her, I suppose. She must have attacked them, and they struck back and ran. Pity there was no trail of blood to follow. I would have very much liked to find them. I looked for footsteps, but the rain had washed any signs away."

I sipped slower this time, my shivering slowing. "…Do you think it was the traitor?" A cool laugh. I frowned in puzzlement. "What?"

"I was under the impression you thought I was the traitor, my dear." He sat back easily in his seat, smirk lopsided, eyes dark. "Is that not so?"

Why do you trust him? I hid my thoughts behind the goblet. "I don't trust you, you're a conniving self-obsessed bastard." I pursed my lips and met his gaze. "… I just don't think you're a traitor."

"I am so very pleased to have your approval." Lucien laughed darkly, drinking. "You might want to slow down on the wine, pet. As I recall, you don't handle your alcohol well."

I scoffed and took a long, slow sip, thinking. He's so calm. I remembered his face over Gogron's body, the cold fire in his eyes. Now he hides it so well. I grimaced and shook my head, remembering my reason for coming. "I came here because I want to know more."

"Ah, yes. Your mother interrupted our earlier conversation." He took a thoughtful sip, swirling the goblet. "And what would you have me tell you?"

"I don't know. I just want to learn more." I bit my lip, struggling for words. "Isn't there - some way I can research properly? There must be books, legends, something - "

"There are. But they will be useless to you until you experience it for yourself." He tilted his head, hood falling back around his neck and shoulders. "Like alchemy, is it not? One could read endless ancient tomes about the methods, but never truly understand what it is to extract the very essences of a substance and make it ones own."

… That's an eloquent way of putting it. In spite of myself I nodded, rather wishing I'd thought the same first. But… "But I don't want to - experience Sithis. I don't want to kill anyone."

"Do you believe that is all it means? Death and destruction, pain and suffering?" That smile again, pressed between tight lips. "That is certainly a part, but not all. People would not take such faith in a belief that gives them only pain. No, Dust, we find pleasure through that pain. The Night Mother loves her children, and she shows us the way." The smile faded as he nodded grimly. "And should we serve well, when we die, we may rest by Sithis' side in the void, in utter darkness, in the very seed of creation itself. All there was and will be."

I absorbed this as the wine moved through me, warming me. "…You have a way with words."

He smirked before muffling his chuckle behind a sip. "Is that enough to convince you to sign the contract, I wonder? To join the Brotherhood under oath written in blood?" I shook my head, and he laughed in his throat. "I thought not. But you are not quite as hopeless as I'd once thought. I must thank you for healing Shadowmere."

I rolled my eyes and snorted. "It was nothing, really. Trudging through the pouring rain and mud risking life and limb with a traitor on the loose was more than worth the pleasure of your company."

"I should certainly think so. I'll take my payment for the wine." At my stunned look, he barked a laugh. "Then, I suppose I can let it go this once. For you, pet, no other." He stood, nodding. "I have work to attend to. And while those robes so nicely flatter your curves at the moment, you should change before you catch your death."

"Ech." I stood and followed him back to the ladder, my skin prickling despite trying to hide my sudden self consciousness. I took a deep breath and reached up to grasp the ladder, cursing my height. "You really ought to think of your more vertically challenged guests getting in and out…"

"I suppose I must." He stepped to my aid again before pausing and raising a brow. "How anticlimactic. Not even a goodnight kiss?"

"A goodni - " I sputtered and glowered at the glint in his eyes, then matched his smirk. My cheeks flushed hot as I laughed, a bit of liquid courage enough to let me peck him on the cheek. "Goodnight."

"Hah." Before I could move again he'd grasped my hair and captured my lips, leaving me stunned. My senses swam at the sudden attack - his scent, the feel of his grizzled chin and smooth lips, his hand in my hair and the rush of blood through my body. He pulled away after a moment, giving an all to satisfied smile. "Goodnight."

I don't quite remember when I left, only finding myself back in the night, under the slowing rain. Blinking, with one coherent thought.

Well. At least I'm not cold.