Sailor Moon - Rise of the Exalted Knights

by Lisseas

Chapter Eleven - Losing the High Ground

Posted: 09/04/2017

Usagi had never felt safer than now, nestled in the warmth and comfort of her mothers' arms. Peace, security, the knowledge everything would be okay; not even Mamoru could offer that. And after last night, she thought, with an involuntary shiver, it's exactly what I need.

"It wasn't your fault."

Luna. She was a distant annoyance, albeit a necessary one. This was but a fleeting moment of peace, after all. Freedom from the burden of Sailor Moon for just a few short minutes. A chance to recover, maybe even recharge her batteries before getting back to saving the world. Or trying to, at least, she admitted ruefully. We haven't done a very good job of it so far.

Sailor Mercury called it a 'pyrrhic victory', a term Usagi had learned from history. Victory at far too high a cost to make it worthwhile for the victor. Twenty-plus people likely dead, and the Diet Building destroyed; not exactly a rousing success. No, it was a draw at best…but, in her heart, Usagi knew it was the loss Chaos had declared.

"You do know that, don't you?"

An exasperated sigh slipped from her lips as she withdrew, albeit reluctantly, from her mother's embrace. "Yes, Luna, I know that."

"And yet you continue to dwell on it," the cat retorted, persevering in her familiar, annoying manner. "You fought as hard as you could to keep them alive, despite their best efforts to kill you." Her paws flexed slowly, a reasonable facsimile of a human clenching their fist. "You couldn't have known that Chaos would bring the building down around you."

"We should have." A seed of anger sprouted in Usagi's heart, fighting through her melancholic state. "It always finds a way to change the rules, to cheat, and here we are right back where we started." A moment passed in silence as she shook her head. "Chaos lost one of its Paladins, and a base. We lost the moral high ground."

"You haven't lost anything," her mother said, with a smile that did wonders for her mood. "You're still the same person, Usagi. You didn't kill those people, that monster did."

"That doesn't-"

"Look forward, not back. Stop focusing on things beyond your control. They'll only drag you down."

Usagi swung her legs off the couch and sat up, grimacing as something popped in her neck. It wasn't much of a surprise, given how little rest they'd all had since Chaos' invasion. She wasn't the only one nursing a few niggling aches and pains, she was sure of that.

"Do you understand me, Usagi?"

Just like that, she was fourteen-years-old again, facing the terrifying woman who'd scolded her more times than she could count. Even more bizarrely, it actually worked, too! "Yes, Mama. I understand."

"Good." Abruptly all smiles again, her mother stood and gestured towards the kitchen. "Are you sure you can't stay a little longer? Your father and Shingo will be back soon. They won't admit it, but they worry about you. Especially after-"

"You learned I'm Sailor Moon. I remember." Usagi remembered a lot more than that, including a trip to the hot springs that resulted in her father staring down a youma. I can't afford to stay too long. If Chaos ever learns much more than my name…

Her mother carried on regardless. "I hope they bring something back with them. There isn't much left in the cupboards, but I'm sure I could whip up some-"

"I can't." It hurt to have to say no, but Usagi knew better. "I'm sorry, Mama, but I-"

"You have to get back out there." A curious smile born of both regret and pride tugged at her lips. "I know. You're too good a person to just sit here while others are in danger."

"Maybe, once we drive Chaos out of Tokyo…" The words caught in Usagi's throat as she realised that was really only the first step. "Well. Maybe." She flashed a similar, barely-there smile and managed a second brief hug. "My love to Papa and Shingo, yeah?"

"Of course." Her mother's lips grazed her temple before she withdrew, her smile now decidedly sad. "Be careful, Usagi. Don't stay away too long."

It was almost enough to break her heart, but Usagi knew she had to leave while she still could. "Let's go, Luna. We have work to do."

"Maybe we should consider a regular patrol through the area?" Usagi suggested, as she meandered through her small front yard. "It sounds selfish, I know, but there are still a lot of families living here. Chaos hasn't hit it yet, but that doesn't mean it won't."

"It's not a terrible idea," Luna agreed, padding along beside her. "Ami and Minako's home aren't far, either, and it certainly wouldn't hurt to establish a safe zone we can send rescued civilians to."

"Good point. We need to start taking back Tokyo for real, and we might as well begin with-" Usagi's voice failed her again as she spied a familiar blonde. "Minako? Artemis?"

"Hey, Usagi." Her friend was sitting on the curb, right where she'd left her, faithful companion by her side. "How is everyone?"

"They, uh…they're fine." Rei and Minako had simply refused to let her out of their sight, insisting on escorting her home. But the miko was nowhere to be seen, and Minako… "I thought you were going home to see your parents?"

She shrugged nonchalantly. "I did."

"And…?"

"Mother started freaking out about how dangerous all this is, so I left a little early. Couldn't take it."

"Oh." Usagi had always found Minako's home situation a little…strange. I can't tell if she gets along with her parents or not. "You're not worried?"

"She'll be fine." Another shrug, followed by an off-hand wave. "Dad will take care of her, just like he always does. Not that she'd ever admit it."

Yep. Minako's mother certainly is odd. Clearing her throat, Usagi gestured about. "And Rei?"

"She said she'd be back soon." Minako covered her mouth politely as she yawned. "I didn't think it'd be smart to push her on where she was going."

"Mm." Artemis stirred, locking his bright blue eyes on Usagi. "A wise decision, I thought."

"Absolutely." Usagi took his meaning and agreed wholeheartedly. The last thing anyone needed was another round of inter-Senshi conflict. Minako seemed to have made some progress with Rei of late; no sense in pressing her luck. "We'd better wait, then."

She joined Minako on the curb, surprised to hear a bird chirping in the trees above. It was strange to be back. So far, Juuban remained virtually untouched by Chaos' siege. In fact, one could almost forget there had been an attack at all, if not for the plumes of smoke that stretched above the distant skyline, an ever-present reminder of the scourge still tearing through Tokyo.

"How are you doing, Minako?" Luna's ears pricked up as she spoke. "Any more…issues?"

The blonde raised an eyebrow. "Issues, huh? I knew Usagi would blab."

"Yeah…" She pressed a hand to the back of her head and laughed awkwardly. "But only to Luna."

"I'm just concerned," Luna said reassuringly. "We all are."

"Not all of you," Minako muttered, in an obvious reference to the tall brunette of their group. "I'm fine, Luna. No more talking to myself. Not since the last time, and that was just the stress catching up to me."

The cat nodded, conciliatory. "Of course."

"Things have been…better," she continued cautiously. "Ami opened up to me again pretty quickly, and Rei's been friendlier of late. We even shared a joke before we raided the Diet, and…" Minako's jaw clenched as she trailed off. "Darn. I was trying not to think about that."

Artemis tapped her thigh gently. "It wasn't your-"

"Don't start that again, Artemis. I know."

Usagi fidgeted awkwardly, put off by the suddenly dour mood. It was normally Minako who'd cheer everyone else up, but she hadn't been very good at that lately, what with recent events. "So, that's great news about Rei. Any, uh…any progress with Ma-"

Minako's shift to a defensive demeanour was alarmingly quick. "No."

It's still too early to pry, I guess, Usagi decided, shifting focus in response. "What about Corey? Any word from him?"

"Oh, we spoke."

"What?" It seemed that was news to Artemis as well, considering how quickly he perked up. "Well, what did he-"

"We shouted, really. That's probably more accurate." Minako hesitated briefly, chewing gently on her bottom lip. "I got mad at him, told him what I thought of him just up and leaving on me…and hung up. He, uh…he hasn't tried calling again." She hung her head with a bitter sigh. "It figures I'd screw everything up. I always do."

Right, Usagi decided, psyching herself up. It's time to fix this! She cleared her throat and reached for her friend's hand. "Minako-"

Minako recoiled like she'd been shocked. "Look, Usagi, I know what you're going to say, but don't, okay? Just…don't." She brushed a loose strand of hair from her eyes with a frown. "I get enough in the way of pep talks from Artemis. I don't need another one from you."

Reeling, unused to being rebuffed like that, Usagi found herself lost. She'd always been able to help her friends through difficult times. It was just what she did. "I'm sorry, I just…I want to fix this. All of it."

"You can't fix everything, Usagi," Minako retorted, drawing her knees in tight to her chest, "And it's not always your responsibility to do so." A long, drawn out sigh followed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound so aggressive. It's just…this is something I need to deal with myself."

They lapsed into silence, evidently comfortable for Minako but markedly opposite for Usagi. She was utterly blindsided by Minako's complete rejection of her help. It had never really happened before, a remarkable achievement when she thought about it but still distressing. Would Makoto respond in a similar way? What about Rei? Haruka? What was happening to their friendships?

"Hey, you're good here, right?"

She snapped back to the present, somewhat confused. "Huh? Oh, uh…yes?"

"I'm going to head back. Clear my head a little." Minako was clearly trying to put on a cheery face, but she just wasn't as good at pretending anymore. "Talk to you later."

I pushed too hard, too fast, Usagi thought, regretting it already, and she pushed back. "Look, Minako, I'm sorry if I-"

"Don't worry about it." Minako hurried off before she could say more, hugging her own elbows tight.

Artemis followed, hot on her heels. "I'll keep an eye on her. Make sure she gets home."

And just like that, they were gone. Usagi groaned loudly, resisting the urge to get down on all fours and smack her forehead into the street. It would probably accomplish just as much! "That could've gone better."

Luna simply nodded. "Mm-hmm."

"I made a complete mess of things. Again."

A familiar snort was her answer. "I'll say."

"Rei?!" Usagi leapt to her feet, scrambling to compose herself. How long has she been here? How much did she hear? She cleared her throat and crossed her arms, making every effort to look and sound casual. "Hey."

"Talking to herself, Usagi?" The miko wore a familiar, icy scowl of disapproval. "Really?"

"Oh. I was hoping you hadn't heard that part."

"Uh-huh." Rei was mad. That much was obvious. "You didn't think the rest of us should know about that?"

Somehow, her accusatory tone triggered Usagi's own defensiveness. "I happen to believe Minako when she says she was just venting."

"You should have told us. We warned you she wasn't quite right, and you still chose to keep us in the dark." Rei's frown grew even deeper. "We're supposed to be a team. More than that, we're friends. I can't believe you'd pull something like this!"

"It's because we're friends that I didn't tell you!" Usagi argued. "I made a promise to Minako, okay, and I didn't want to worry anyone." Surprisingly, she didn't even feel all that guilty. "Can you really blame me after the way you were all acting a week ago?"

Rei folded her arms across her chest, looking more disappointed than anything. "That's low, Usagi."

She threw her hands up in exasperation. "Minako's been fighting beside us for more than a week at this point. Does she look nuts to you?"

Finally, a crack appeared in Rei's angry façade. Her lips parted, like she was preparing to speak, but no words emerged. Instead, she sighed and rubbed her face wearily. "No. I suppose she doesn't." The miko trudged over and sank slowly down onto the curb. "She seems a little saner than usual, if anything, and that is what concerns me."

"You and me both," Luna murmured.

"I know the feeling." Surprised by her friend's unexpected concession, Usagi sat back down and let herself lean into Rei gently. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I am. I just didn't want to kick off another fight."

Another sigh, this one more pensive. "I can understand that. We weren't exactly in a good place last week."

The blonde nodded thoughtfully. "Where were you?"

"I just needed some time to myself after last night," Rei said quietly. "Time to process it all, you know? New 'Sane Minako' is a bit of a downer in that regard, so I slipped away."

Usagi founded herself abruptly sorrowful again. "I miss the zany, over-the-top Minako of old. The one who never let anything get her down. Not for long." She couldn't keep a hint of bitterness from her voice as she reflected on her own journey to this point. "Almost as much as I miss the old me."

"Me too," Rei said softly, leaning back into her in return. "Both of you. Are you sure they're gone for good?"

She shrugged, flashing a faint smile for good measure. "I'm not sure…but I hope not." She got back to her feet slowly, the nagging pain in her back serving as another unwanted reminder of the battle of last night. "I can't speak for Minako, but maybe, once all of this is over…our old selves can come back."

"I'd like that."

"Really?" Usagi couldn't help poking her best friend just a little. "You want the silly old Usagi back? Cranky you?"

"Cut it out, Odango." Shaking her head, the miko shoved her playfully…then snared her in an abrupt hug. "I anxiously await her return."

They were about halfway back to their looking-less-and-less-temporary base when they encountered a familiar, blue-haired young woman.

"Ami!" Usagi raised a hand in greeting as they came up behind her.

"Oh, Usagi." She smiled gently as they fell in beside her, acknowledging Rei as well. "I assumed you'd be staying home a little longer."

"Who has time?" The blonde's smile fell a little, unsure how to feel about the insinuation. "Anyway, how's your mother?"

"As well as can be expected, under the circumstances. She's thrown herself into her work, as always. Set up a clinic of sorts with a few other doctors who live in the area." Ami paused briefly, uncertain. "I was hoping we might be able to organise a regular patrol to keep an eye on things, at least when we're not on the offensive."

Usagi resisted the urge to punch the air triumphantly. "I was going to bring that up myself, actually. We've got family here, Minako too, and your mother's clinic only seems to make protecting the area more important."

"I don't see an issue with it," Rei declared, glancing back over her shoulder, "And I doubt anyone else will either."

"There are some logistical questions, of course," Luna added, "But nothing we can't solve with some consideration."

The miko's sigh was almost a chuckle. "It pains me to say so, but a certain Guardian Knight would be perfect for this. It's pretty much his job description." She glanced sidelong at Usagi. "Is Minako sure she can't get him to come back?"

Minako's earlier rebuff was still very much a sore point. "She's sure."

"Right. I'm sorry I brought it up."

Seeking some deflection of her own, Usagi flashed a smile Ami's way. "And Ryo? He's okay?"

"He's fine." Ami couldn't quite hide her smile at the mention of his name. Talk about cute! "Actually, he's been helping at the clinic. He wasn't really sure what else he could do, and as much as I might like him to stay with us at the store, I-"

"He could, you know," Rei reminded her. "Nobody would object and, even if they did, who cares?"

"I care," she whispered, abruptly turning away. "It wouldn't feel right. Not with…" Ami didn't finish her thought, but it was pretty clear to Usagi.

Not with Mamoru and Corey gone. She wasn't sure if she should be grateful or angry. Of course, she missed Mamoru. As much as she knew he wasn't dead, not hearing from him hurt. She missed him, but she'd worked hard not to let that cripple her. Ami's implication, that Ryo's presence might harm or otherwise hinder that progress, was a little insulting. Except she didn't mean it that way, did she? Don't overreact, Usagi. Take it as the thoughtful gesture it was.

"Well, he's always welcome," she said, settling on listening to herself. "Even if you decide it's only temporary. We could all use a reminder that there's still hope." Her communicator beeped urgently, precluding any further conversation. She flipped the device open and was surprised to see Setsuna's face waiting. "Setsuna? What's-"

"I apologise for the intrusion, Usagi, but there's a…situation here that requires your attention."

Another pair of voices filtered through the channel behind her; Haruka and Chibiusa.

"…bullshit! Don't try to put that…harder stance with these…"

"…you! Thought you were better…always been…from murder!"

Usagi stiffened at the exchange. Neither of them sounded particularly pleased. She quickened her pace, motioning for Rei and Ami to do the same. "We're on our way. Just…try to keep them calm."

"That's precisely what we're endeavouring to do," Setsuna replied, with just a hint of frustration. "I suggest you hurry, all the same."

Chibiusa's voice came through again, clearer than before. "…liar! You weren't…avoid hurting…night, were you?"

The connection was severed at Setsuna's end, leaving Usagi concerned. Something had happened to provoke the two, and the last thing they needed was another interpersonal conflict. Minako's war of words with Makoto was more than enough!

"Come on," Usagi called, breaking into a run. "We'll use the rooftops. Let's go!"

The store was dark and quiet from the outside, nary a whisper to be heard. Usagi found no comfort in such silence, however. Only more concern. Chibiusa was absolutely livid, she told herself. I've never heard her so angry before. Rei and Ami followed close behind as she led the way through homewares. The narrow, half-looted shelves eventually gave way to a virtual forest of coat racks, hastily assembled as a shield from any prying eyes. It had also provided an unexpected benefit, absorbing sound from inside. Two familiar voices grew louder as they approached their makeshift base, echoing around them; Chibiusa and Haruka.

"You've always taken the easy way out!"

"And you've always been a naïve little kid!"

Usagi pushed through the final layer of coats just in time to witness Chibiusa lunge forward and land a hard punch to Haruka's jaw. The other Senshi lurched into action quickly, Makoto getting between them as Setsuna corralled the furious pink-haired teen. Minako moved to help her and, between the two of them, they managed to keep her contained.

"What…?" Usagi couldn't believe her eyes. After all their progress of the last week, her friends were fighting amongst themselves, again…and she was suddenly furious herself. "What is going on here?! I leave you alone for a couple of hours and this happens?!"

Seemingly unfazed, Haruka dabbed at her lip. She chuckled quietly as her fingertips came away red. "Colour me impressed. You throw a pretty good right hook…for a kid."

Chibiusa tensed in Setsuna's grip, practically snarling as she tried to free herself.

Usagi glared at the tall blonde woman harder than she ever had in her life, positively fuming. "That's enough, Haruka!" Sensing a shift, she turned quickly and found Chibiusa smirking. "And you! What's the matter with you?!"

Her daughter's red eyes flashed with anger, meeting her challenge. "She called me a kid, and-"

"And you decided to prove her right by acting like one?!" Usagi crossed her arms and glowered. "Sit down, both of you." Recognising the stares she was getting, she let that same glare roam the room. "All of you. Now!"

A few tense moments passed as everyone found a seat, some more reluctantly than others. Rather predictably, Minako opted to sit about as far from Makoto as possible – and vice versa. It just made Usagi even madder! Finally, with everyone gathered, she exhaled and attempted to collect herself.

"Alright. I was hoping we were done with these sorts of conversations after last week, but it seems you're a little more stubborn than I'd hoped." She couldn't help sounding just a little passive-aggressive and, as it turned out, she really didn't care. "Tokyo is burning, it's people are dying, and you're still more interested in fighting each other?!"

At least some of her friends looked ashamed. Minako wouldn't meet her gaze, nor Makoto for that matter. Even Rei looked a little guilty. No such luck with Haruka or Chibiusa, though; the teen even stared back at her, utterly nonplussed.

That only drew Usagi's ire. "Maybe you can tell me what happened this time, Chibiusa?" Somewhat surprisingly, her future daughter simply crossed her arms and shrugged. "Well?"

"Philosophical differences," Haruka muttered, just a little irritably. "Regarding our approach moving forward."

"Alright. Explain."

"I was making the case to Setsuna that your whole non-lethal approach is getting too risky." Haruka was curt but respectful, interestingly enough. "Chibiusa here overheard us and waded in, taking the opposing view. Things escalated, words were said, and…well, you were here for the conclusion."

It was a simple explanation, probably too simple, yet strangely reserved. Not at all the rage-fuelled explosion Usagi had expected. It seemed at odds with her previous actions, especially her at times brutal approach in battle. In fact, it was a wonder she hadn't killed anyone already.

"I know what you're thinking," Haruka offered, with a knowing look. "You think I'm angry over losing Michiru and, if I'm honest, I am…but that's not what this is about" She took a shuddering breath and shook her head. "She's gone. I can't bring her back. Nobody can, but…" She lost her composure for a moment, her sigh a heaving near-sob. "But I can damn sure do my best to keep the rest of you alive. She cared about you, all of you. It's what she'd want me to do."

Ami dabbed idly at her eyes. "Haruka…"

"The biggest threat you're facing right now isn't some Chaos-loving jerk with a gun. It's yourselves."

Chibiusa opened her mouth to retort, but Usagi silenced her with a raised hand. Haruka hadn't been much for words since losing Michiru. It was best to let her finish. To get if off her chest. And, she told herself silently, I find I can't exactly disagree.

"You're all so worried about not killing anyone that you're losing focus on the battlefield, and that's far more dangerous than any Chaos Paladin." Haruka gestured to Rei, any trace of animosity gone. "I had to tackle a guy last night before he shot you in the back."

The miko was perturbed. "Don't remind me."

"And that's been a common occurrence over the last week." Haruka glanced around the room, face somber. "I know we haven't always seen eye-to-eye. You thought we were reckless, too eager to go down those 'dark roads', but we were just being realistic." She shook her head once again, gentler this time. "I don't want to see any of you die, but if you keep on going the way you have been there'll be no Sailor Senshi left to stop Chaos. That monster will win…and Michiru will have died for nothing. Nothing at all."

"And the answer is to start killing people?" Chibiusa's voice was calmer, quieter, but still very much in disagreement. "Become the very monster we're fighting against?"

"You're still not listening to me." If anything, Haruka seemed saddened by her response. "I'm just saying we need to stop holding back. We can't keep placing their lives above our own. There's too much at stake."

"It's the same thing." The younger Usagi was resolute. "We're the Sailor Senshi. We don't kill unless it's unavoidable." Her anger had faded somewhat. Now, she simply looked…disappointed. "I learned that from all of you."

Usagi herself felt sick. It was something that had been on all their minds after the loss at the Diet, of course…but to actually be confronted with it like this made her supremely uncomfortable. "Chibiusa, I hear you, and-"

"Maybe things are nice and peaceful where she comes from, but we're at war! That means making a few hard choices, because we don't have the luxury of playing it safe." Haruka wasn't done, meeting their gazes one by one with a grim expression. "Who else has to die to get through to you, huh? Was Michiru not enough? Who's going out next?"

"Enough, Haruka." Usagi was sure she was about to vomit. All she could manage was a faint whisper, even a plea. "You've made your point."

Silence. Even Luna and Artemis appeared uneasy, tails twitching back and forth in unison. She looked about the room and saw in her friends' eyes the same painful realisation she was experiencing. Not a single one of them managed to say anything, though...and that silence was damning.

"You're not going to yell at her?" Chibiusa sputtered, utterly flabbergasted. "Where's your speech? Your impassioned plea? This is where you're supposed to fire up and inspire the rest of us to be better!"

Usagi couldn't meet her challenge, unable to look her in the eyes. She hated it with every fibre of her being, but she couldn't condemn Haruka for speaking from her heart. Worse still, she couldn't bring herself to disagree with her admittedly frank assessment of their situation. Chaos was winning…and losing more of their own wouldn't help their chances.

Finally, Artemis spoke up. "It seems pragmatism had its place after all."

"And we finally begin to see it," Luna agreed sadly. "Too late, I fear, for Titus."

Hotaru looked up, eyes wet with tears. It nearly broke Usagi's heart. "But I don't want to kill anyone else…"

"I'm not sure you have a choice anymore," Makoto offered quietly. "None of us do."

"Oh, there's a choice," Rei countered bitterly. "Keep fighting, this time at full strength, or give up and sit on the sidelines as Chaos destroys our world. Holding back is no better than the latter."

"Mako, Rei. No!" Chibiusa's voice cracked just a little.

"Chibiusa…" Minako wrung her hands in her lap, sounding every bit as upset as she was. "I'm sorry, but-"

"Not you too!"

The blonde sighed heavily. "Nobody wants to kill anyone, but-"

Makoto interrupted her with a disbelieving snort. "You're flipping sides on us again?"

"No, you unbelievable bitc-" Minako's fiery taunt died abruptly with a brief glance at Usagi. She shut her eyes tight, took a deep breath, and visibly composed herself. "No, Makoto, I'm not flipping sides again." Her finger quotation marks were at definite odds with her serious tone.

It felt like the entire room sighed with palpable relief. Makoto obviously hadn't missed her cut-off insult, but she hadn't taken the bait either. Usagi wasn't sure if that was for her benefit or not, but she was past the point of caring. She was just happy that another costly argument had been averted, at least for the moment.

"This isn't the same argument anymore. That was about putting ourselves in a position of having to potentially kill someone, and that ship has failed."

Usagi noticed the incorrect idiom immediately but, like everyone else, let it slide.

"That was our choice to make," Minako continued. "A choice, admittedly, that Corey made for us." A noticeable quiver entered her voice at his name, but she corrected for it quickly. "This, though? This is different. Like it or not, we're already in that position." She made a face like she'd bitten into a lemon. "We are going to kill someone eventually, whether we're trying to or not. I think we have to focus on keeping ourselves alive so we can defend Earth from Chaos. It's our duty."

Makoto seemed primed to speak out against her again...but that didn't happen. Instead, she offered a faint nod of agreement and backed down. Progress, at last...of a sort.

"Damn it, Haruka's right," Rei said firmly. "I could have died twice last night, and all because I'm just too tired to keep track of everything. You knock these guys down, and they stand right back up to shoot you in the back." Her tone softened again as she met Usagi's stare. "I hate to admit it, but we can't keep this up forever. Survival and counterattack has to be our focus."

"I don't believe this…" Chibiusa stared back at her, aghast. "Can you even hear yourselves? This isn't you!"

"It's…logical," Ami answered, literally squirming in her seat. "Nobody wants this, Chibiusa, but it was forced on us. We can't allow ourselves to be killed. The rest of the world would die with us."

"And I intend to save my sympathy for the innocent people living in it." Despite Makoto's bravado, a hint of uncertainty revealed itself in her voice. "They're the ones who deserve it. Not these…killers. I'm not advocating murder, but if they choose to fight us they'll have to deal with the consequences. No more pulling our punches."

It sounded very much to Usagi like she was trying to justify a colder approach to herself. The blonde found herself attempting to do the same thing…but it wasn't easy. No matter how necessary it might be.

Still reeling, Chibiusa turned her desperate eyes on Setsuna. "You'll talk some sense into them, won't you, Puu? Please!"

The tall, green-haired woman stared back at her impassively. Finally, her stoic façade began to show signs of crumbling, her lips turning downwards in a frown. "I'm sorry, Small Lady…but I don't see any other way. If we are to win this, we must start fighting more effectively. Our current methods just aren't working."

The younger girl looked as if she'd been shot. She stumbled to her feet, wrenching herself free from Usagi's grasp as she retreated towards the coats. "No…"

Hotaru looked absolutely miserable as she rose in kind. "I hate the idea of taking another life, Chibiusa, more than anything…but I will not let Silence fall over Earth. No matter what."

Something akin to horror showed in Chibiusa's eyes now. "How did this happen? How can you all be so different from the people I remember?"

Setsuna also stood, eyes narrowed in concern. "Small Lady?"

A sudden realisation seemed to hit the girl, almost physically, and she staggered. "It…it's me, isn't it? I did this."

The Guardian of Time stepped toward her. "I told you already that-"

"I changed things when I came back, the first time. I changed…everything. It's my fault!" She jumped as her back brushed the coats, reacting as if she'd been stabbed. "The whole world. Thousands, even millions of people…dead. Because of me…" Tears began to stream down her cheeks. "And you're all willing to kill more." She turned and fled, disappearing into the darkness.

"Chibiusa?" Usagi leapt to her feet and bolted after her without thought, panic gripping her heart like a vice. "Chibiusa!"

AN: Woohoo! Three week turnaround, I'm getting into a nice groove! Not quite the chapter I envisioned, but the one that was necessary. Sort of a transition between that first act and the second. The Senshi are beginning to realise just how bad their situation really is. Chaos really has the deck stacked against them, and you could argue that if they start killing their enemies, even unintentionally, they STILL lose in a way. Damn, wish I'd put that in the chapter as a line for someone. Oh, well!

Not a lot of action, I know, but it's been a while since we had a friendship/drama/angst chapter and I feel like I managed to get all three out, condensed into one, WHILE moving the plot along enough to trigger...something (mwahahaha!) I hope you found it entertaining regardless. Thank you to my reviewers, your feedback was great to read and it's a terrific source of motivation on those days where I'm struggling to get the words from my brain to the keyboard. I'm sitting on a half-written draft for one major scene, which should help with the writing time, and I've been doing pretty well on staying focused in my down time. Here's hoping I can keep the consistency going!

Thank you all for reading,

Lisseas