A/N: Yo this chapter is quite graphic, please be warned and also I made a snapchat account for my fanfiction accounts, I'm gonna be posting stuff like when I'm working on updates and possibly recommendations for fanfictions to read and yeah, if you wanna follow me my name is tillyalf427 (Like on here) and yeah, enjoy this chapter of eternal pain

Ikuya awoke the next morning, confusion flooding his brain as he tried to work out where he was. This wasn't his bed, or his room, or his alarm blaring in his ears. His questions were answered soon after by a groan next to him, being accompanied by a brown mop of hair appearing from where it hid under the duvet. Ikuya's brain slowly caught up and remembered what had happened last night.

He turned over slightly, being as careful as possible in order to not injure himself, looking straight into Natsuya's intense gaze.

"Are you alright?" Natsuya asked gently, to which Ikuya nodded

"I'm fine, you don't need to worry about me so much," Ikuya said, looking away from Natsuya's eyes. The two of them began getting ready for school, getting dressed and eating breakfast before they left the house together for the first time in years.

"I've missed this...So much..." Natsuya said, his eyes glistening slightly with unshed tears.

"I have too...I missed you..." Ikuya said quietly as Natsuya looked to his side to glance at Ikuya. The rest of the walk to school was spent in relative silence

Upon reaching school, the two of them went their separate ways, Ikuya meeting Haru, Makoto Asahi and Kisumi and Natsuya heading off to find Nao.

The day passed by quickly enough for Ikuya and before he knew it, he was being dragged down to the pool by an overly excited Asahi. Although Ikuya couldn't take part in club activities, Asahi had insisted that he still come along so that they could all walk home together and Ikuya had agreed, not having the energy to argue with Asahi when the redhead had already made up his mind.

Ikuya sat at the side of the pool as the others practised, his mind wandering as he stared blankly at the rippling water.

He could feel the gazes of many of the 2nd and 3rd years which made him feel uncomfortable for an unknown reason. Surely they were just wondering what happened to him, it wouldn't be anything bad, He had nothing to worry about. And so, Ikuya continued watching the others practising, Nao coming over to see how he was doing every now and then.

At one point, he decided to go and get a drink, heading towards the changing rooms where he had left his bag. He had just entered the changing rooms and had begun rummaging through his bag when he heard a loud voice outside the door.

"Wow, Natsuya is so pathetic, looking after his brother as if he was five years old, the kid's twelve, surely he shouldn't have to be relying on his brother so much," One of the voices said, causing the other to burst out laughing

"I heard that Natsuya's only doing it because his parents made him. Otherwise, the kid would keep running away from home like the pathetic idiot he is. Couldn't even fight off one guy who tried to mug him, it's ridiculous," Another voice said, their voice filled with malice. Ikuya held his breath as he came closer to the door in order to hear the people clearer.

Surely Natsuya doesn't think that...Surely they're wrong...Right...?

Ikuya's thoughts began to run wild as he continued listening.

"Maybe the kid will realise soon enough that his precious brother doesn't actually care about him and then he'll disappear,"

"I heard from Natsuya as well that his brother cuts himself too, how pathetic! He said he hoped he carried on so that he could have some peace and quiet, it's understandable, no one wants to hear their younger brother whining about how hard their life is,"

"What could possibly be so hard about being in your first year of middle school? Oh nooo, I might have to talk to new people. So scary! Someone protect me please!"

The mocking tones continued until Ikuya couldn't take it anymore. He grabbed his bag, pulling his phone out and sending a text to his brother.

To: Natsuya

From: Ikuya

I'm going home early, I don't feel well, don't bother coming home early, I'm fine

He sent the text and practically ran out of the school building, his ribs protesting with every harsh breath he pulled into his lungs however, he didn't stop. He carried on until he reached the front door of his house, his ribs sending jolts of pain throughout his body as he fought to catch his breath He unlocked the door, entering the house and locking the door behind him as he made his way to the bathroom, locking the door behind him once more and entering the shower after stripping off his school uniform, turning the temperature down as far as it would go. It was freezing but he could care less, wanting nothing more than to feel something, anything.

He reached out of the shower, rummaging through the cupboard next to it to find a small sharp silver blade. He stared intensely at the blade in his hand

I should just end it all...

"No!" Ikuya shouted out loud, gripping the blade in his hand tightly, the sharp edge slicing through his palm. He didn't feel it at all however, he only felt the deep pain in his heart and the overwhelming urge to just cut away all his feelings.

Raising his bloody palm, he brought the blade down on his wrist, the cool metal feeling calming against the delicate skin. With a shaking hand, he dragged the small piece of mental along the skin, blood immediately pooling out of the thin cut, turning into small bubbles which were soon washed down the drain, turning the water a light pink colour.

His head began swimming slightly after he repeated this a couple of times and although he knew that he should stop, should get out the shower and bandage the cuts, he couldn't seem to bring himself to stop. The cold water was stinging his back and shoulders and his fingers had long since turned numb as he added more and more cuts upon his wrist.

He hates me, he hates me, he hates me...I'm sorry, Natsuya, I'm so sorry.

He faintly heard the front door open and his brain cleared enough for him to realise what he had done, seeing the red water below him. He dropped the blade, not caring where it went as he stumbled out of the shower, grabbing some bandages from the cupboard before tightly wrapping both of his arms up, his mind overcome with panic as he desperately scrambled around the bathroom, drying himself off and wrapping a towel around himself. Just as he was about to leave the room, he remembered the blade which he had left on the floor, quickly moving across the room to retrieve it before making sure there was no other evidence of what had occurred in here.

All the moving around had begun to make him dizzy as he pulled on some clothes that would cover the bandages just as Natsuya's voice was heard on the other side of the door, asking what was wrong and what he was doing, to which Ikua simply responded that he had felt a bit sick and had come home to have a shower to help him feel better. Natsuya hummed in slight confusion as Ikuya finished getting changed just as black spots began forming in the corners or=f his vision.

He threw the bathroom door open, startling Natsuya who was stood on the other side of the door before he attempted to walk quickly to his room, however, he was stopped by Natsuya's arm grabbing his wrist and pulling him back.

"What's wrong with you? I thought we were past this?" Natsuya asked, his voice full of both hurt and confusion as Ikuya struggled to break free from the elders grasp, hissing when Natsuya's grip only tightened. His vision was almost fully black now as he could feel himself swaying slightly on the spot as Natsuya released his grip. He attempted to make his way to his room once more, however, as soon as he took a step, the world went black and he could feel himself falling.

Natsuya rushed to catch Ikuya as he fell to the floor, lying the younger down carefully as he tried not to panic. It was at this point that Natsuya noticed the red spots appearing on Ikuya's sleeves, dread filling his veins and clouding his thought process. He pulled up his brother's sleeves, seeing bandages being steadily panted in red.

Attempting to take a deep breath, Natsuya pulled out his phone, his hands shaking more than ever as he dialled an ambulance, desperately telling the paramedics his address and what had happened. He barely managed to hold himself together long enough for the ambulance to arrive as panic overtook his entire body.

There was so much blood, how much more had Ikuya lost? Was he going to survive? Why had this happened? He had thought that things would be okay for now, what had changed everything so drastically?

The paramedics arrived soon after, quickly placing Ikuya onto a stretcher and taking him into the ambulance. They offered to let Natsyago in the ambulance with them and he shakily agreed as one of the paramedics desperately tried to get him to calm down.

He could hear the multitude f voices around him however, he couldn't distinguish what they were saying or who each voice belonged to. It felt like he was underwater, like he was drowning.

Is this how Ikuya's felt this whole time?

Natsuya's thoughts were filled with Ikuya, so much so that he didn't even think about calling his parents. In his panic, his parents had been the last thing on his mind and even now, Ikuya was at the forefront of his mind, consuming his thoughts. Besides, the hospital would have to notify his parents when they got there.

His mind was a mess as they reached the hospital and they took Ikuya into a room, asking Natsuya to wait in the waiting area. All that was on his mind as he waited was thoughts of Ikuya and whether he'd be okay, and most of all, what had made him do this? He had seemed fine earlier that day however, he wasn't, and Natsuya couldn't help but blame himself for not being there for him.

For the first time since he returned home that day, tears began falling from Natsuya's eyes, the shock finally wearing off enough for the true pain and sadness to show itself as he sat alone in the waiting room.