A/N:So uh this chapter shows how little I know about hospitals, psychologists and suicide attempts so that fun

But anyway sorry for the extremely late update, My laptop kinda broke so I'm writing on my phone at the moment which isn't fun

And yeah, this chapter is pretty boring because I have no idea where I'm going with this but I'm planning on possibly another 3 or 4 chapters hopefully before its done, whooo

Ikuya awoke to the bustling noise of the hospital. He could hear people rushing around outside his room however, a gentle knocking on the door disturbed him from any further thoughts. He let out a small 'yeah' to whoever was outside and was greeted by Dr Shinozaki who entered the room with a kind smile on her face.

She took a seat next to his bed once again, flicking through a ring binder full of sheets of paper before supposedly finding the one she was looking for and reading over the page quickly.

"Okay, so yesterday we talked a little bit about how you were feeling and about some of the problems you've faced so how are you feeling today?" She asked, making eye contact with Ikuya as she spoke

Ikuya sighed quietly, breaking eye contact as he looked to the ground.

"I've been better...That's kind of obvious though...I still feel guilty but it's like it's in the background. I'm not sure how to explain it, everything just feels fuzzy and strange," Ikuya attempted to explain, struggling to think of how to word his feelings.

"And have you ever felt this way before or not?" The next question made Ikuya think. He wanted to say no however, the more he thought about it, the more he realised he had felt this way before. When him and Natsuya hadn't been talking, when he had felt alone.

He nodded in reply, bracing himself for the question he knew would be coming eventually; what made him do it?

"Okay, and have you ever found any ways to cope with this feeling, maybe to reduce the feeling or get rid of it all together?" Ikuya shook his head in response to this question

"I've always just kind of accepted that it was how I felt and that there was nothing I could do about it..." He responded quietly

"How often would you say you experience stress in everyday life?" Dr Shinozaki had quickly made some notes before asking Ikuya this and he had to mentally count the amount of panic attacks he had on an average day

"Quite often...I've been having a lot of panic attacks recently...Usually it's around once or twice per day but sometimes it's worse...It gets especially worse when I have to meet new people or do something I'm not a hundred percent comfortable with," Ikuya explained

"Are there any reasons you can think of for this? Any family or school issues? Is it just because you're anxious around new people?" Dr Shinozaki's question caused Ikuya to tense up. What would she think of Natsuya if he answered honestly and told her about all the thoughts that had plagued his mind.

"I...I fell out with my brother a couple of years ago..." Ikuya began, deciding to face the music "He...wanted to make new friends when he went into middle school, so he separated himself from me. I understand now why he did it but I started to have panic attacks during the time we weren't talking and it's gotten worse and worse. He only seemed to start to care this year when I started middle school too..." Ikuya finished, choking on his words slightly which Dr Shinozaki seemed to notice however, she didn't comment on it which he appreciated.

The session continued on like this for a while and Dr Shinozaki asked all sorts of questions, about his feeling, about Natsuya, about school and swimming, and about everything in between. By the end of it all, Ikuya was exhausted however, there was on thing that was bugging him. Something deep in the back of his mind.

As Dr Shinozaki was finishing up her notes, Ikuya spoke up in a quiet voice.

"I...I heard something the other day...at the swim club...and it made me freak out..." Ikuya tried to explain "That was before I almost...Killed myself...But it's still bothering me...and I know it shouldn't but I can't help it, I..I keep letting it get to me and its stupid but i just can't stop thinking of it..." Ikuya's voice became hysterical as he spoke and he was gently reminded by Dr Shinozaki of the breathing exercises he had been taught.

"Can you tell me what this thing is? We can work on it and find out how to stop it from bothering you," Dr Shinozaki's voice was calming as Ikuya calmed his breathing

"I...I overheard some of the other members of the swim club talking about how I'm pathetic for relying on my brother...and...And they also said that Natsuya was ...That he was only acting like he cared for me...so that I wouldn't run away again...T...they said that N...Natsuya hoped I would carry on cutting myself so that I died...So that he could have some peace and quiet...I...I just assumed it was true...and it's been bothering me but I can't bring myself to ask Natsuya whether it's true or not..." Ikuya was sobbing by the end of his explanation and Dr Shinozaki did her best to calm him down. After a few minutes, Ikuya's sobs had been reduced to silent tears and Dr Shinozaki had begun talking

"As much as I'd like to be able to tackle this problem right now, unfortunately, I think it's probably best if we do another session later with your brother when he visits. then we can hear both sides of the story and he'll understand where you were coming from. Is that okay?"

Ikuya nodded weakly as his tears continued falling. It had reached the end of the session and Ikuya was quite looking forward to being on his own for a while. Dr Shinozaki finished up the notes she was taking and stood up to leave, smiling at Ikuya for a minute before saying;

"I promise you, everything is going to work out in the end. It might seem difficult, or even impossible now but I promise it will all improve, just give it time,"

with that, she left and Ikuya let his eyes slip closed, the exhaustion catching up to him fast as he fell into a deep sleep.

He was only awoken later on by a hand gently shaking his shoulder, pulling him out of his dreamless sleep. His vision was fuzzy as he awoke but he could clearly make out the doctor who stood next to him. After rubbing his eyes gently, the doctor began speaking.

"We just need to quickly re-wrap your bandages if that's alright, so that we can check that everything is healing as it should be," Ikuya nodded absentmindedly and the doctor immediately got to work unwinding the bandages from around Ikuya's right arm.

Ikuya began to feel sick as his arms were slowly revealed from beneath the bandages. He could see the discoloured skin where the blood had stained it and hadn't been washed off completely and as the dressing was removed further, he could see the dark red lines cut deep into his skin, the harsh black stitches that contrasted greatly against the pale skin of his forearm.

At some point, it became too much and he squeezed his eyes closed as tightly as possible, tears falling despite his closed eyes. The doctor paused what he was doing to quietly ask

"Are you sure you're alright? We can re-bandage the other one later on if you want? I understand this may be a stressful experience" He offered and Ikuya shook his head quickly.

"I'll be fine. Let's just get it over with." Ikuya spoke through gritted teeth with his eyes shut tightly, not wanting to look at the aftermath, despite his brain willing him to see what damage he had caused.

The doctor quickly worked on the opposite arm, cleaning and re-wrapping both arms. Only after he had finished did Ikuya dare to glance at his arms, seeing fresh white bandages wrapped all the way from his wrist to his elbow.

A deep breath escaped his lips as he saw the crisp white bandages and the doctor looked at him in concern before saying
"If you need any assistance, just press the button next to your bed,"
Ikuya nodded and the doctor left the room, the door clicking close behind him. Left alone with his thoughts once more, Ikuya lay in silence, ears of frustration building in his eyes the longer he lay doing nothing. He should be at swim practice, he needed to practice, or at least that's what he told himself.
I'm actually so stupid...

Another few hours passed of Ikuya drifting in and out of sleep before he heard a firm knock on the door. He glanced at the clock, predicting that it would be Natsuya before saying a quiet

"Come in..."

The door swung open and Natsuya entered the room, concern written all over his face.

"Ikuya! Are you okay?" Natsuya rushed over to the side of Ikuya's bed, gently grasping his brothers hand as his eyes scanned over him.

Ikuya nodded weakly, trying to offer a smile to his brother however, it did nothing to reassure the older male.

"Mum and dad are still at work, they couldn't leave early but I managed to skip practice, They'll be here in about an hour," Natsuya explained, giving a weak smile as he ruffled Ikuya's hair.

"It's all going to be alright...I promise you," Natsuya added gently, looking straight into Ikuya's eyes with his own tear filled eyes.

There was another knock on the door and Dr Shinozaki poked her head through the door, smiling sympathetically when she saw Natsuya sat next to Ikuya.

"Natsuya-kun, it's nice to meet you, I'm Dr Shinozaki, I'm the psychologist who has been working with Ikuya-kun," She introduced herself, offering a hand towards the brunette.

Natsuya shook her hand, confusion filling his face which didn't go unnoticed by Dr Shinozaki who began explaining

"Ah, I should probably explain why 'm here shouldn't I? I believe there might have been a misunderstanding the other day that I'd like to clear up in order to help Ikuya,"

Natsuya nodded and Dr Shinozaki sat down in the other seat next to Ikuya's bed, pulling out her notes from earlier in the day as she began to explain the situation to Natsuya, ensuring that Ikuya was okay first and regularly checking to make sure he remained alright.

After Dr Shinozaki finished explaining, Natsuya's eyes were wide with disbelief and brimmed with tears as he looked between Dr Shinozaki and his brother who was now avoiding eye contact.

"Ikuya...Oh Ikuya, I promise none of that is true!" Natsuya grasped Ikuya's hand in both of his as he said this, trying to look into the younger's eyes as he spoke. "I know it must be hard for you to believe me right now but I promise you...C..can you remember who it was who said that...if you can, I won't hesitate to report them to a teacher or is you don't want me to do that, I can just kick them off the swim team...I.." Natsuya choked up as he finished speaking, desperate to do anything to help.

"No...I..I don't know...I just...I don't know..." Ikuya mumbled, his eyes glassy with unshed tears.

"I know that this must be hard for the both of you but I strongly believe that if its possible these people should be reported, their behavior from the sounds of it was unacceptable and they shouldn't be allowed to get away with it however, Ikuya-kun, if you're strongly against it, no-one will do anything. We're not going to do anything that you don't want us to," Dr Shinozaki explained, to which both Kirishima brothers nodded.

"W..would you mind if we talk alone for a minute...?" Natsuya asked the psychologist who nodded "Only if Ikuya's okay with it though of course!" He added, looking to his brother who nodded gently in agreement.

Dr Shinozaki stood and exited the room, leaving the two brothers alone in silence until Natsuya broke it with a quiet.

"Ikuya...I promise, nothing they said was true...I'll do anything to make you believe it...I don't care what it takes, you deserve to be happy," Natsuya began choking on his own words as he finished speaking, wrapping Ikuya in a hug, being careful of the wires attatched to his arms and the bandages covering his wrists.

"I...I need time...I can't just forget overnight...but I want to try...Try and be happy..." Ikuya mumbled, his voice muffled by Natsuya's shoulder.

Natsuya smiled slightly, stroking a hand through Ikuya's hair as a form of comfort before Ikuya asked in a meek voice

"What did you tell Haru, Asahi and Makoto...?"

He almost didn't want Natsuya to answer that, dreading the answer however, Natsuya gently shushed him and replied.

"I didn't tell them anything yet, I said you weren't coming in today because I wasn't sure if you'd want them to know or not,"

The moment was interrupted by another knock on the door as his parents entered the room, seeing their two sons tangled in each others arms, both with tears in their eyes. The sight was heartbreaking but the two slowly approached, each showing a small pained smile to their youngest son as they greeted them both.

"The doctors said you seemed to be doing a bit better," their father said quietly, running his thumb over Ikuya's knuckles as he spoke.

Ikuya nodded slightly, avoiding eye contact with his parents, scared he'd see shame filling their eyes.

"Ikuya, baby, please look at us," His mother encouraged "I promise, no one's mad at you, we're all just worried, but you're going to be okay, We're all going to make sure of that,"

Ikuya felt tears falling from his eyes once more, before all three of the others in the room moved to comfort him in some way, causing Ikuya to giggle slightly.

"Thank you...for not being mad at me...I'm going to try and get better..."

Everything seemed slightly more normal after this, with the three of them entertaining Ikuya and keeping him company until visiting hours were over and they had to leave.

Just as he was leaving the room, Natsuya was called back by Ikuya.

"Natsuya...I...I want you to tell Haru, Asahi and Makoto...I...I need to be honest with them...They're my friends after all..."

Natsuya let a melancholy smile slip onto his face as he heard this and nodded.

"I'm proud of you," He added before being ushered out of the room by one of the doctors.

Ikuya lay in content silence, finally able to silence the thoughts that always seemed to rush around his head. And for once, it didn't take long for him to slip into sleep, thoroughly exhausted by the events of the day.