A/N: Last chapter! Whooo! I really had no idea how to end this so this may be a bit shitty but anyway. Thank you if you have stayed with this, the updates have been a nightmare and I really appreciate it if you've stuck around this long. But this is it, the end. And it only took around 2 and a half years to get here...whoops...Anyway, enjoy this final, probably terrible chapter

The brown-eyed boy crouched down on the starting block, determination filling his eyes behind blue tinted goggles. The cheers from the crown had become a distant blur, fading into the background. A glance to his left showed the red-haired boy in the same position, fiery red eyes tinted orange glancing sideways at him.

His eyes focused back on the water in front of him, on the body cutting through the water, approaching him at a rapid speed. A small bubble of nervousness attempted to surface but was quickly squished back down as the hand slapped the wall beneath him.
He was off.
The ripples in the water from the lane to his left felt electrifying. The intense feeling of rivalry and excitement bubbling between the two athletes as their arms cut through the water, legs kicking hard to propel themselves forward.
Surfacing for breath brought the familiar rush of excitement and anxiety as oxygen flooded his body and the cheers from the crowd became audible once more. He could feel the power from each stroke of the man next to him, could feel the exhilarating rush as he reached his hand out, ready to hit the wall. He saw the next swimmer dive over him, olive green eyes staring down at him before hands sliced down through the water and legs began pushing forwards.
He went to climb out of the pool however was interrupted when a hand entered his line of sight. Glancing up and following the arm showed a familiar grin, familiar sharp eyes and familiar wild red hair. He grasped the hand offered and was pulled up out of the water, his feet hitting the tiles with a wet slap as he moved away from the edge of the water.
With an accelerated heart rate, he grinned wildly at the boy in front of him, before being pulled into a tight hug filled with whispers of praise in his ear. His face flushed red at the positive comments, laughing awkwardly before speaking for the first time
"Asahi! Stop! You're being embarrassing!"
Said boy pulled away slightly and looked into his eyes before replying
"Nah, you love it really,"

The race ended and two more people joined them, Hiyori and Haru.

They were ushered on away from the pool and ran into more familiar faces on their way to the changing rooms.

"Ikuya! Guys that was amazing!" Makoto called, jogging over to him closely followed by Kisumi.

"Makoto, it's good to see you...I missed you all," Ikuya replied, immediately being pulled into a hug by Makoto.

"You need to tell us all about what happened after you moved, was everything alright?" Asahi asked, receiving a nod in reply
"It uh...started out a bit rocky but it worked out in the end...I'll explain more later..."

The four swimmers headed to go and get changed, friendly chatter filling the atmosphere.

After standing under the warm spray of the shower for a couple of minutes, Ikuya went to grab his towel, drying off his skin and going to grab his clothes, getting changed before rubbing his hair with his towel to dry it off. He was joined by Hiyori not long after who was also dressed and almost dried off. They waited for Haru and Asahi before heading out of the changing rooms, walking towards the stairs to go and watch the other races.

As he was walking, Ikuya spotted a familiar face approaching, a grin spreading across his face as he called out
"Ikuya!" before jogging towards them and pulling him into a tight hug, squeezing the air out of him.
"Nat...suya...can't...breathe..." Ikuya choked out dramatically
"You did so well, I'm so proud," Natsuya held Ikuya by his shoulders as he looked straight at him.

I'm proud of you

Ikuya could still hear Natsuya's voice from that day echoing through his brain. On some of his darkest days it gets him through and on some of the easiest days, it helps to hype him up even more.
He glanced down at his arms, now covered by his team jacket, however, what lay beneath was two long scars, harshly contrasting with the normally pale skin. He had received multiple comments on it due to his sport exposing his forearms and had had many awkward conversations about it and had also had a few snide remarks about it, however, he pushed past it and dealt with it.
Natsuya noticed when his brother's gaze was directed as tutted quietly.
"Now now, no negative thoughts after you just swam that amazingly," He chastised, earning a small smile from Ikuya.
"I'm not, just thinking," Ikuya replied before turning towards the others and continuing "Let's go and find Makoto and Kisumi and I'll explain,"

After finding the others, they all headed towards Asahi's sister's cafe, ordering drinks and finding a table for them to all squish around.
The table was full of curious looks directed to Ikuya who laughed somewhat awkwardly before he began talking.
"Well uh, I guess after I was released from the hospital, things got a bit rocky..."

For the first few weeks, after he was released from the hospital, Ikuya felt suffocated. He couldn't go anywhere without his parents, his brother or his friends wanting to go with him which was understandable, after all that had happened, he understood why they were being protective of him however after 3 weeks of the same behaviour, he began to get agitated. He unintentionally started snapping at people when they were only asking if he was alright, he began sleeping longer but still felt tired, he couldn't pay attention in his lessons and it all eventually made him snap.
It was one afternoon walking home from school with his brother when he was asked whether he was okay, he didn't mean to but he couldn't help but reply in an annoyed frustrated voice
"I said I'm fine, just leave me alone, I swear everyone's treating me as if I'm made of glass, I can't stand it anymore!"
He had expected Natsuya to be mad, to claim he was only trying to help, heck he half expected to go back to being ignored, however, Natsuya had simply nodded in understanding before speaking
"You're right, we've all been acting strange recently, we just don't know what to do, we don't know whether something we say could have a negative effect, we don't know if you're alright or not so we have to ask, we don't know how to deal with what happened...I admit we've all been a bit funny but we need you to communicate with us, we need to know what could be taken in a negative way, we need to know how you're feeling, we need to know this stuff so that we can help you," Natsuya paused for a second and it was only then that Ikuya noticed that they had stopped walking.
"We just want to help you Ikuya...we've not gone about it in the right way but I hope you'll forgive us and help us to figure out how we can help, I couldn't live with myself if something happened to you again, I thought just watching over you would be enough but I now realise that what I say can sometimes be the problem and I want you to tell me if that's the case, call me out on it if I say something wrong, that's all I ask," Natsuya continued and Ikuya looked away
"I'm sorry...I...didn't think of it that way...I just... nevermind..." Ikuya began but trailed off, being encouraged by his older brother to carry on
"I guess I need to try and talk to everyone more...but..."

"But...?" Natsuya urged

"But what if other people don't see it that way...what if mum and dad never trust me to go out on my own again...what if my friends are always worried I'm never gonna come back if I leave...I don't want people to think that every time they see me it's going to be the last one," Ikuya continued, beginning to choke up towards the end. He looked away from his brother, staring at the ground before him before Natsuya gently coaxed him to look at him.
"I trust you, I know others may not see it in the same way but if it's space that you need, I'm willing to give you it," Natsuya smiled before continuing "Now come on, I'll help you to explain to mum and dad,"

Everything seemed to shift after this, although his parents were still overly protective, his brother and friends understood and were willing to give him space.

The end of the school year brought many changes, Asahi had to move away because of his father's job, Haru quit the swim club for a reason he wouldn't tell and Makoto, he did what he thought was best and followed Haru in quitting the club. Once again Ikuya was alone. However it was different this time, he still had Natsuya.
His world had shattered around him upon hearing the news that his brother was moving to America to train and he tried desperately to not let his mind wander back to that dark place, however, it was hard. It was hard to not retreat back into himself, hiding away behind the wall he had only just begun to knock down.
Of course, Natsuya noticed this and asked what was wrong, receiving dismissive lies in response. After another week or so, Natsuya managed to get through to him, managing to dig deep enough and discover that Ikuya was scared. Scared of being left by his brother, scared of losing the one person who seemed to understand completely even he himself didn't seem to understand.

And so it was decided. Ikuya would move to America with his brother at the end of the school year.

By the time they moved to America, Ikuya's ribs had healed completely and his arms were covered by deep scars, however, he was alive.
He continued seeing a counsellor throughout his time in America, running into new issues along the way.

He had almost fainted one day, sinking slowly to the bottom of the pool and Natsuya had seen images of the past flashing through his mind as he saw Ikuya, laying in a hospital bed looking awfully pale.
Natsuya's nightmares returned briefly anytime this happened, a spike of fear hitting him full force whenever he saw Ikuya pause in the middle of the pool to catch his breath.

A few years passed before Ikuya moved back to Japan, still not ready to face his past. And so, he avoided all his past friends. All his past connections. It was all going well until university.

He should have expected that Haru and Asahi were still swimming, he should have expected to run into them but he didn't.

It was only recently that he gained the confidence to face them, to face his past and accepted what had happened.

"...and now I'm here..." Ikuya finished, briefly glancing around the table at 8 faces around the table, all staring at him, attention focused solely on him. An awkward laugh escaped his mouth as he noticed their stares before an arm wrapped itself around his shoulder.
It was Natsuya, pulling him into a hug from where he sat next to him which soon turned into an awkward group high across the table.
Ikuya felt tears building in his eyes however for the first time, they weren't tears of sadness or anxiousness or frustration, they were tears of happiness.
He was finally happy.