Sailor Moon - Rise of the Exalted Knights

by Lisseas

Chapter Twenty-Two - Introspective

Posted: 18/03/2018

Usagi never would have guessed she'd enjoy eating in her old high school's cafeteria again, but her company certainly helped. For what felt like the first time in an eternity, she was sitting opposite Mamoru sharing a meal. A simple meal of rice and chicken, yes, but Mako's skilled hands had given it a little extra flavour, and it was nice to just be alone with the man she loved for a change. Tokyo's ongoing woes had left little time for romance of late.

"This is nice," she remarked, before realising she'd already said as much once before.

"Mm. Quite nice."

His response was a repeat at well. That was worrying. Usagi set her chopsticks aside with only a moment's hesitation, a frown on her lips. "Mamo-chan, have we…have we forgotten how to be a couple?"

Her boyfriend swallowed quickly. "No, I don't think so. It's just...difficult given our situation, that's all. There's so much to focus on that it can be hard taking a moment for ourselves." He shuffled in his seat. "I feel almost guilty."

"Right." At a loss for anything else to say, she inadvertently proved him right by falling right back into business. "At least we're making progress, though. It feels like we've really turned a corner."

"About time, too."

"Rinjirou's Knights aren't exactly the friendliest bunch, but they've really balanced things out." Usagi took the opportunity to scoop up another mouthful of rice, her hungry stomach just about purring in approval. "And Corey's got the school covered. I've even seen him sorting out a few disagreements here and there."

Mamoru laughed quietly. "Sir Justice indeed, eh?"

"Just don't let him catch you calling him that." The quiet returned, and she found herself desperate for something to fill it. "We're surrounded by knights these days, aren't we? It's strange to think about."

"I suppose so." His eyes sparkled with mischief. "Minako even got herself the fairy tale romance of her dreams. The Princess and the Knight."

"Recent events aside," Usagi murmured. She hadn't seen her blonde friend or the Guardian Knight in some time now, together or apart.

"They'll work things out," Mamoru offered hopefully.

"Mm." That was true. She knew they loved each other, even if things were a little strained of late. "I guess things have been going well, even with Rinjirou. The shrine hasn't come up once, which is a relief."

"Yeah."

His noncommittal nod set alarm bells ringing in her head. "What? What is it?"

"It's nothing."

Usagi pushed her food around her bowl, wrestling with her thoughts. Something was wrong, that much was obvious. He'd been more reserved the last few days. Less light-hearted. More like he used to be in the old days, before he got used to her and really opened up. "Mamoru, please. Talk to me."

"Look, I don't want to ruin our evening," he said quietly, reaching for her hands. "Can we talk about this tomorrow?"

She pulled them away instinctively. "No. Tell me. Now." It came as an order, not the request she'd intended. A troubling thought.

His steely blue eyes met hers without a hint of apology. "It's what you said just now, about Rinjirou."

"Yes?" she asked, confused. "What about him?"

"You said the shrine hadn't come up. That it was a relief." Mamoru now seemed frustrated, and she didn't know why. "Don't you see? You say it's a relief...which means you don't want to talk about it. Why not? Because you know he deserves to know the truth, and not telling him is a lie of omission."

"Mamoru..."

"Since when do we lie to our allies, Usagi?" he persisted. "Our friends?"

"Friends?" she sputtered, blindsided. "Since when is he our friend?!"

"Since..." Mamoru paused a moment, scratching at the back of his head. "Since London, I suppose." As if sensing her reaction, he began checking off items on his fingers. "He's been a good, strong ally, and he deserves better from us. From me. I..." A hint of uncertainty crept into his voice. "I don't like hiding this from him. Lying to him."

He continued to catch her off-guard. Didn't he understand she didn't want to lie either? Couldn't he see how it made her feel, having to lie for the greater good? "Mamo-chan, I..."

"You've changed, Usako," he whispered, softer. "I mean, we all have but you? Whether you want to admit it or not, you're so very different from the girl I met in the Crown six years ago. I'm not saying you're wrong for it, not after everything that's happened, but-"

"I had to change!" It burst from her unexpectedly like wildfire, a strong, uncontrollable urge to defend herself. "Don't you see? I didn't want to! In fact, I hate this, I really do! But the Revenant Knight and now Chaos, they...they forced it! The old Usagi wouldn't have survived them! Optimism and ideals can only carry you so far. I had to grow up, to accept the realities of the world!"

"But that's just it," he observed sadly. "The old Usagi wouldn't have accepted that. She would have tried to change those realities instead. We all would. Instead, we just got older...and somehow lost sight of that."

"You sound like Chibiusa," she muttered, pushing her bowl away. It suddenly tasted like ashes in her mouth. "Are you trying to hurt me?"

"No," he said firmly, as he pushed back his chair. "That's the last thing I want to do, but I think she has a point. About all of us, and if you're not willing to listen to her...well, I suppose I hoped you might listen to me." He dropped his chopsticks and stood. "Just think about what I said, alright? We need to get back to being the people we were. All of us."

Usagi watched him go, sinking in on herself as soon as the door closed behind him. There were a few scattered looks from the other people in the cafeteria, Makoto included, but right now she just didn't care. "I've been trying to figure out how to do just that this entire time...and I'm still no closer to an answer."

Rinjirou felt cold. Impossibly so, in fact. A deep, penetrating cold that chilled him to his very core. A vast, empty darkness surrounded him, seeming to stretch on forever. No earth beneath his feet, nor sky above his head; he was adrift in a literal void.

As he wrestled with this newfound information, struggling to process its impossibility, there came a cold, mocking whisper from the black. Her voice. "She's mine now, Payne. Forever."

A pained cry followed, and he shrank from it quickly. Not a day went by that he didn't remember his childhood friend, or the terrible fate she had suffered. "Megumi..." Almost immediately, a cold rage began to grow in his heart. Chaos would pay. He would inflict her suffering upon it tenfold, only...he wasn't strong enough to do so. Not yet.

As if in response, the air before him ignited; a blinding conflagration. Rinjirou recoiled without thinking, arms raised to shield his face. The heat alone should have charred his flesh, melted his skin, yet...he felt no pain at all. Slowly, carefully, he let his arms fall to his sides. The flames danced before him, a loose sphere until they began to shift and change. Elongating, growing, dividing; they finally came to the familiar form of a tall, imposing man.

A booming voice rumbled from its depths. "You're fighting me."

He remained silent, thinking back several days to his struggles with the Hunter. In a last ditch effort, he'd summoned an unfamiliar power. Something he'd seen an Exalted Knight of old do in the past, only...he'd failed. It had built within him, growing stronger and hotter and brighter...only to fizzle out like wet embers.

"We want the same thing." Hyperion's voice echoed around him in spite of the apparent void they shared. "Stop doubting me. Doubting yourself. Give yourself completely to the cause, our cause. Only then will you become a true warrior of my Undying Light."

Despite the quiet voice in the back of his head urging him to just shut up and agree, Rinjirou couldn't. He was unapologetically slow to trust, and he couldn't help but recall a prior conversation. "You said you want a return to the old ways...meaning Endymion on Earth's throne. But that means Serenity at his side..." A frown worked its way across his face at the very thought. "...and that's not what I want at all."

He was certain he heard a literal roar as the flames grew hotter. Wilder. For the first time, he could see a defined, faceless man within them...with a blazing crown jutting out from his head. "Stop fighting me and do as you are TOLD!" The flames snuffed out in an instant, though Hyperion's voice persisted. "Unless you want that foul creature to go ahead and take what pathetic little you have left?"

Rinjirou stiffened as the cold, suffocating Black began closing in around him. His body ached, the very blood in his veins turning to ice water. His lungs burned for oxygen, no longer working as his vision blurred and grew dark. He began to fade, and with the threat of unconsciousness came her voice again. A mocking laugh. Then, a different voice; an oddly comforting one he finally placed as his mother's.

"Rin..."

He jolted upright, gasping for breath. The rough, unyielding surface of his cot lay beneath him, that same stubborn spring still digging into his flesh. He rubbed his face, a vain attempt to bring about some measure of calm in his post-dream confusion.

The warehouse; what passed for the Exalted Knight's base of operations, at least temporarily. He'd collapsed onto his cot early, exhausted after three solid days of combat. Chaos' human forces weren't exactly what he'd call well organised, but they fought with surprising tenacity. It made him wonder what it had promised or even threatened them with.

Still, for all its flaws, the old packing plant was their home for now. Their mysterious backers were apparently putting the finishing touches on a formal headquarters, but it was taking time. As Hino-sama had explained, "They didn't plan on your revolt, or Chaos' gutting of the Order. They're scrambling just to get everything ready."

Hino-sama, he thought, stilling himself with a deep, shuddering breath. He'll know what all this means.

Refusing to call the cot a bed, he rolled off the 'instrument of torture' and slipped out of the barracks - the small office where they'd stashed their cots. A few more off-duty Knights slept around him, fellow professionals who, despite some grumbling about the state of things, could and would sleep just about anywhere if they had to.

Rinjirou found the old man in the 'command centre', a centralised ring of hardened laptops and displays balanced precariously on cheap, collapsible plastic tables. The power came from a small generator in the far corner; it was all waiting for them when they arrived four days prior. As always, there was no trace of their backers but, whoever they were, they had a lot of resources and considerable logistical support. That was no simple thing to manage in a war-zone like this.

The largest of the screens displayed a topographical map of Tokyo, mostly dark but for a few patches of blue and gold: the Sailor Senshi's 'safe zone', and his Knights' small conclave here on the docks. Rinjirou stared at it sombrely, reminded again of just how much work was ahead of them. Tokyo was far from saved yet, and it was only one of several cities targeted by Chaos. They couldn't afford to keep grinding away here forever; countless other innocents needed their help too.

Hino was parked in front of one of the laptops, a worn pair of spectacles set on the tip of his nose. He typed slowly and painfully with only his index fingers, an unsteady and arrhythmic click-clack indicating his progress. He didn't turn his head or otherwise acknowledge Rinjirou at all. "I thought you'd be fast asleep. It's been a long few days."

"Couldn't sleep," he grunted, secretly amazed once more by the priest's uncanny situational awareness. "I had a..." A sliver of doubt crept in at his intended choice of words, for he suspected it was something more. "...a bad dream."

"Ah." Hino swivelled in his chair, bringing his hands together in his lap. "And you'd like to talk it over."

Damn his intuition, Rinjirou thought, almost amused. "Yes."

And so he relayed the events of his dream. The cold, black void. Chaos' laughter, Megumi's cries. Hyperion's appearance and subsequent 'warning', word for word. That only convinced him further it was no mere dream, for Rinjirou had never been able to remember his dreams in full, even as a child. Only snippets. This was far too complete, too vivid to ignore. The god was unhappy with his level of dedication, and he'd made a clear threat to express his displeasure. Was that really the sort of power he wanted? Was Hyperion all that different from Chaos after all?

Hino waited patiently for him to finish, fingers steepled together. "So, you have doubts."

He couldn't suppress a righteous snort. "Of course I do! I trusted the Order blindly for years, and look where that got me! How am I supposed to just close my eyes and do so again now?" His fingernails dug into his palms as he tried to calm himself, resolving not to take his frustrations out on the old man. "Hyperion said 'a return to the old ways'. That means a return to monarchy, but on a global scale! That's not progress, Hino-sama, it...it's the opposite! Totalitarianism! Despotism by another name!"

Through his tirade, the priest just looked on calmly.

"Civilised nations got rid of real monarchy centuries ago! Even the United Kingdom's Queen is more a figurehead than anything, but I'm expected to just shut my mouth and champion a return to rule by divine right because some hot-headed god says so?!" He shook his head fervently, rant over. "That's not who I am."

Hino studied him quietly. "You don't trust the Undying Sun?"

"Do you?" he retorted, a little snippier than intended.

Silence ensued as the priest appeared to consider his response. "We live in interesting times, Rinjirou. We consider monarchy, true monarchy a thing of the past, yes...but we know it is coming regardless." He leaned forward a little, eyebrow raised. "Tell me. You've spent time with Endymion, such as he is in this modern world. You've event spent a little time with his Princess. Do you really think them capable of this...dictatorship you speak of?"

Exhaling sharply, Rinjirou thought back over his time spent with Mamoru. He could be overly critical, even annoying, but he was no tyrant-in-waiting. Not unless he was a far better actor than he seemed. Even his Princess, Usagi, was no villain. No matter how annoying she and her friends could be.

"I have known Usagi for years," Hino continued, as if reading his thought process. "I have watched her grow up, along with my granddaughter and the rest of her friends, into the people they are today. I've never claimed any deep understanding of the future the Order glimpsed...revealed by a certain creature mind you...but my eyes and ears and especially my heart tell me she isn't capable of such evil." He leaned back, chuckling lightly. "Of course, I've been wrong before. I dedicated most of my life to the Order, after all."

"Mm." Rinjirou couldn't muster a more coherent response.

The priest sighed. "If you really want my advice, it's this: separate what the Order taught you from what you've learned yourself. What you've seen with your own eyes. You already know who you trust, deep down inside."

That was a good point. Rinjirou thought long and hard on the priest's words. He remembered his mother, so kind and loving and caring...murdered by the very Order she'd served and loved. He remembered Elder Haim, likely dead now, who'd sent him to kill Hino-sama as a sick test of his loyalty. Rei, who he wanted very much to trust...but she would never go against her Princess. Usagi, the now-Sailor Moon and future Princess Serenity, who he'd learned had wanted to storm Order headquarters...likely killing all the people he'd been working to save. True, he didn't know the pain and fear of having a child stolen from him, but how could he forget how close she'd come to undoing all of his hard work?

No. Even Justice, who'd worked with him to prevent those deaths, couldn't be trusted. Not completely. If all else failed, the Guardian Knight would do nothing more than take another walk. He wouldn't side against the Senshi, especially since he was in love with one of them.

At long last, he met Hino's gaze. "I know I trusted my mother...and I trust you. Anyone else, myself included, needs to prove themselves before I go along with them."

"A wiser answer than you know." The priest slid off his chair, adjusting his robes as he straightened up. "Now, as to your other quandary? I'll let you in on a little secret, my boy. You don't need to have blind faith in the Undying Sun to summon his power. You already have it because he wants you to have it. You need only have faith that, for the moment, he wants the same thing you do: the complete and utter eradication of Chaos. The rest is yet to come...and yet for you to worry about."

For the first time in quite a while, a smile tugged at the corners of Rinjirou's mouth. "You don't say…"

"Aw, shit."

The apartment had looked fine from the building's front door. Most of the building seemed intact, actually, even if it was admittedly only one side of it at quite a steep angle, but Corey had let himself believe. And that was a mistake, he conceded, staring down at the other street from the middle of his living room. Most of the outer wall was gone, the jagged bits and pieces left behind pointing to something large and angry tearing it away. And there's not exactly a shortage of large, angry things in Tokyo right now.

He crouched down to retrieve the broken remains of an orange lamp; one of Minako's many impulse purchases. "Well, that's another security deposit I'm not getting back. I don't even want to know what this does to my tenant history..."

"At least I can honestly say I had nothing to do with it. This time, anyway..."

Corey turned to find Minako standing in the doorway behind him. She wilted noticeably under his gaze, hesitating just a moment before stepping inside fully. It hurt to see, if he was honest. Things had been difficult between them since his return, despite their initial reconciliation, and it was largely his fault. "Yeah."

She waited just a heartbeat too long before answering, which only added to the tension. "No Wink Chain Sword through the ceiling this time. Ha."

He could practically sense her frustration; he felt the same way. "I hate it too."

"What?"

"The awkwardness. The tension." A bitter chuckle slipped from his lips, utterly mirthless. "My fault, I know, but still..."

"Not entirely." Minako stepped a little closer, arms folded across her chest in a strangely vulnerable pose. She clearly wasn't as sure of herself as usual. "That's why I'm here. Why I followed you."

It was phrased like the answer to a question, but Corey hadn't asked one...leaving him lost. "Uh-huh?"

She rolled her eyes briefly. "I got sick of waiting for the right time for our talk." She raised her hands, forming air quotes with her fingers as she spoke. "So, when you slipped out I decided to follow you. No time like the present, right?"

There was no arguing with that logic. "It's not like I was actively trying to stall or anything. It's just...back at the school, there's always someone else around. Something else to do. There's no time to just sit down and talk. Not just the two of us."

"I know," she agreed, dropping her arms to her sides before clapping nervously. "So, let's talk. Work it out. I'm as tired of all this awkwardness as you are. I just...I want us to be like we were before."

"I'm not sure that's possible," Corey observed reluctantly. "Not entirely."

"Mm." Her pause was punctuated with an irritable sigh. "A little part of me can't help thinking you could run off again at any time. I know that's silly, but..." A hint of remorse coloured her words. "It all comes down to trust, doesn't it?"

Yeah, he answered silently, and I torched whatever we had left when I ran back home.

"Oh, well." Minako shook her head resolutely. "I'm tired of walking on eggshells. We have to address the elephant in the room eventually."

Now, that caught him by surprise. "Two correct idioms in the same breath? You've been practising."

"Oh, shush!" Her faux irritation was a welcome reminder of more pleasant times, even if it only lasted a moment. Minako always had flipped between moods quickly. "I guess, really...I want to know what you think. Can we actually come back from this?"

"Of course." Corey didn't even have to consider it. "I mean, as long as we understand how we got here, where we went wrong? We will get past it and put it behind us."

Her bright blue eyes bored into his own. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. I mean..." It was his turn to hesitate now as he thought over his next words carefully, a cringe forming on his face. "Let's be honest, Minako. We weren't as ready for this as we could have been."

"No?"

"No." He spread his arms wide, almost a shrug. "Artemis was right all along. We rushed things. Moved too fast for our own good. Sure, it felt like we were on the same page, but..."

Her wariness began to fade as she gestured expectantly. "Go on. Now is not the time to forget how to talk to me."

Corey shrugged again. "We glossed over all the not-so-good stuff. Never had a few conversations we really should have. Especially the most important one, the-"

"The Sailor Senshi, Guardian Knight talk."

"Exactly." Not expecting her to finish his sentence, he was left with little else to say. "So, here we are."

"Yeah." Minako sounded just as uncertain as he felt. "What do we do now?"

"The blind leading the blind," he muttered, remembering an old saying of his mother's.

"Hmm?" she asked, confused again. "What's that?"

"Nothing." Corey shook his head, stifling a growl of impotent frustration. "Damn it all. I wish we could just start over somehow, you know? Wouldn't that make everything so much easier?"

"Well, that is easy!" Minako didn't even hesitate before thrusting her hand out for a proper American-style handshake. "Hi, I'm Minako, and I'm just a little hyperactive, which means I'll try to rush ahead way too fast before we're ready for it."

"Not just you," he pointed out, smiling briefly at her more typical goofiness.

"I might even try to move in with you or something silly like that," she continued, with a familiar wink, "All without you even noticing."

He took her hand and shook it, albeit gently, unable to resist a laugh. "And I'm Corey. I suck at talking to women so I'll probably miss any cues you do send my way, and..." He trailed off quickly, any brevity lost in a moment of sad realisation that this was their chance to start over...and he had to do it right. He owed her honesty.

"And…?" Minako smiled back at him expectantly.

"And..." He swallowed gamely and committed to his course. "...and I'm a Guardian Knight. The last Guardian Knight."

Her smile faltered, and it hurt to see because he knew he'd caused it. In that moment, he wished against all reality he could just rewind and go back to the way things were, but...he couldn't. They couldn't. It had got them here in the first place, and if their situation wasn't addressed they'd only end up here again.

"I swore an oath to Selene to serve her and, more importantly, justice itself." For a split second, he saw Titus' smirking face...and, just like that, he knew this wasn't actually the burden it felt like. No, this was what he truly wanted. Needed, even. It was take work to balance his responsibilities with the rest of his life, with Minako...but there was no doubt she was worth the effort. With that in mind, Corey smiled again. There was a little sadness to it, but it was a smile all the same. "Sometimes, I'll have to be that Guardian Knight before I'm your boyfriend."

Somewhat surprisingly, Minako nodded back at him and flashed her own little smile of sadness. "Just like my duty as Sailor Venus. Sometimes, Usagi or even the planet may have to come first...before you."

It was his turn to try not to sigh. "And I sincerely hope I'm right there beside you for each and every one of those times, but...if I'm not? If, I don't know, Usagi sets her mind on another bad call like she did with Chibiusa and London, and I feel it's unjust...?"

"You might have to leave again." Minako sank down onto the ratty old couch he'd bought cheap at a thrift store, one of the few he'd found in Tokyo. It was dwarfed in both size and majesty by the large, orange love-heart armchair beside it, of course. Her love-heart armchair, but...she wasn't sitting in that right now, was she? No, she was sitting on the couch he'd bought. A symbol? A gesture of some kind? "I hope you never have a reason to leave again, but..." She sighed dejectedly and leaned forward earnestly. "What I guess I'm asking is...are you really okay with that kind of life? That kind of uncertainty?"

"What?" Caught by surprise, he sat quickly beside her. "Of course I am! I thought if anything it'd be you who...I mean, are you okay with it?"

With an indelicate snort, she took hold of his hand in hers. "Well, it's not exactly how fifteen-year-old Minako saw her love life turning out, but...yeah. Of course I am." Her voice softened. "I was always okay with it, Corey, I just...I would've liked a little warning before you disappeared is all." A brief but terrifying-all-the-same glare flashed across her face. "Both times."

"Noted." Trying to let go of his guilt, he squeezed her hand just a little. "I'm done running, from you or myself...and, once again, I'm sorry. It's no plate of burnt muffins, but I hope you can accept my apology all the same."

A muted giggle escaped as Minako clamped a hand over her mouth, eyes wide.

"Off-topic, I know, but did you actually eat one of those things?" He was genuinely curious. "I mean, Fury seemed like she'd worked really hard on them. It can't have been easy finding a working oven in the middle of all this madness, right?"

She slugged him gently in the arm. "You're such an idiot sometimes." A happier smile spread across her lips as she giggled again. "Just like me."

"Hey," he said softly, unconsciously sliding a little closer. "It feels a little like it used to, doesn't it?"

"Yeah." Minako looked up into his eyes. "I love you."

"And I love you."

They exchanged a brief kiss before she pulled away again. "And, if that means having to accept the occasional bout of separation, well...I do."

Her choice of words, surely not random, were almost enough to lock him up like the old days...but the giggling fit that followed exposed her teasing for what it was. "Ha! You really do move fast, don't you?"

A clear note of mischief underscored her words as she winked seductively. "Hey, you're planning on leaving me all alone every now and then. The least you could do is make a promise you'll always come back with, oh, I don't know...some sort of symbol? Maybe formalise this whole thing?"

Corey planted a kiss on the top of her head. "I will always come back, but...well, moving too fast notwithstanding I suppose we can talk about this little symbol of yours after we save the world. Again." He let out a snort of his own as he realised just how surreal it felt to say. "Damn, that feels weird."

Minako tilted her head back and pulled him down for another kiss. "You get used to it. Trust me."

It felt good. Right. Like a sense of normality had been restored to his world. It took all of his effort to stand up from that couch, but he did…because they'd been away too long as it was. Guardian Knight and Sailor Senshi; they had work to do. "I guess we should probably get back to it. We've got a city to save."

She rose to stand beside him, fingers still entwined with his. "Yes. Together."

AN: I'm not dead and neither is my fic, I swear! Close to two months between uploads is officially my longest delay, but it comes with a silver lining. I took a few weeks off from writing it and, when I came back, I spent some time examining my outline and identifying some potential blockers that might be causing my frustration. I'm not going to commit to any kind of revamped schedule just yet, but I have a full draft of the next chapter following this, and the plan moving forward is to continue that pattern of draft being ready before I upload a new chapter. That way, I hope to avoid hitting the point like I did with my last chapter where I had absolutely nothing prepared and no idea of where to go. The mini-break helped too, don't get me wrong, but I'm trying to structure my writing again to get into more of a groove.

Anyway, not a lot of action this time out, or at all really, but I wanted to resolve or at least move along a few longstanding plot points. Maybe it's a little cheap, but I've got Corey and Minako on the same page again, as I seemingly drive more of a wedge between Usagi and Mamoru. Just take my word for it that this all feeds into next chapter and resolving the current angst. The final piece was Rinjirou, who I'll admit was sort of stagnating in his role a little as well. This felt like a great way to keep the intrigue of his own plotline developing without keeping him in the same place for chapter upon chapter. Things should get really interesting for him over the next few chapters for sure.

Anyway, that's about if from me. If anyone's still actually reading this after my time away, thank you as always for your continued support. I hope you keep enjoying RoteK, and I'm looking forward to your thoughts, reactions, and critiques as ever. Cheers!

Lisseas