Beside You
by: LunarEclipse360
(A/N: There are no words to describe how sorry I am for the wait. Things have happened between June and now. The more recent thing that happened is that my laptop's hard drive decided it wanted to fail on me so I had to send it off to get a new hard drive. I should have that back on Wednesday. But all of that happened when my mind finally allowed me to sit down and write this chapter. Luckily for me I got a tablet for Christmas and wrote all of this on there; unluckily for me FF's conversion system sucks and wouldn't allow me to use the document program I wrote all of this down in - despite it being in .docx format. I started the next chapter of At The Beginning, but that was when my computer decided to give up on me. I'm hoping that I saved whatever I wrote on a back up and that should be up with in the next month or so - or so I'm hoping but my mind doesn't always agree with me. There will be another chapter to this story to make up for my lack of updating. There might even be two more chapters, but there are no guarantees to that one. This hasn't been looked over by my beta so if you spot any mistakes, please let me know. Also, shout out to We'rexInxLovexWithxZac'sxEyes for giving me the ideas that spurned the first part of this chapter that, eventually, led to the rest of this chapter. And I'm sorry this author's note is so long, so I'm going to stop here and let you all enjoy.)
Chapter 7
Troy's heart beat was a welcome sound in her ear when she awoke that morning; the morning after hearing her own unborn son's strong heart beating through the ultrasound speakers. She smiled at that thought. A son. She was having a little boy; one that would have her dark hair and Troy's bright eyes. Excitement flowed through her body as she thought about the day -six months down the line- when her child would take his first breath into the world and she would meet him for the first time. Her hand drifted to her stomach and her fingers ghosted over the small, almost unnoticeable, bump on her abdomen. She couldn't wait.
"You're thinking rather loudly."
His voice broke her out of her thoughts and raised her head. She found herself staring into Troy's eletric blue eyes; still clouded over by sleep. "Sorry. I'm just..." She shrugged, "excited. More excited than I've been in my entire life."
"Even more excited than our wedding day?"
"Yes and no. I don't know; it's different type of excitement. Don't you feel it?"
"A little bit." He did feel it, but it was nowhere near the size of the fear he felt. Fear of becoming a parent for the first time; fear that he wouldn't make a good father.
"Troy?" She had been watching him the entire time; seeing the apprehension cross his face. "What's wrong?"
He shook his head. "Nothing."
Propping herself on her elbow, she stared down at his face. "Tell me."
He kept his gaze on the ceiling as he pushed air through his nose before answering. "I'm scared."
"Of what?"
"Of not being good enough. Of failing as a parent; of failing as a father."
"Troy, look at me." He turned his gaze to her face; looking into her dark eyes. "You're going to be a great father."
He sat up and moved to the edge of the bed; running his hand through his hair. "How do you know that? If you remember, my parents died when I was eleven."
She moved so that she was pressing her chest against his back. Grasping his shoulders, she kissed the back of his neck before wrapping her arms around it. "Because I know you. I've seen the way you are with Destiny. If you're like that with a child that isn't even yours, I can only imagine how you'll be with a child that is." Sighing, she brushed her fingers over his collarbone. "Truth is: I'm scared, too, Troy. My dad was an asshole to me my entire life and my mother committed suicide after my brother died. Neither of them gave me much parenting experience to work with; but I have you beside me and that's all I need. We're both going into this partially blind with only a little experience to draw from, but we'll be just fine. I promise."
He took one of her hands and laced his fingers with hers; dropping a kiss to the inside of her wrist. "Thank you. I would have never made it this far without you."
"Neither would I." She stood and walked over to her dresser to find clothes for the day.
"That can't be true; you have Sharpay."
She turned to him. "Yes, it's true that I probably could have gotten this far with Sharpay's love and support alone," Walking back to the bed, she stood in front of him; raking her fingers through his hair, "but I don't think I'd be the same person." He leant his head against her stomach. "That day that we had that fight and I went to talk to Duncan, he told me that he could offer me more than you ever could." His body tensed and she could tell. She brushed her hand along his back and he felt a chill run down his spine. "You know what I told him?" He shook his head. "I told him that he couldn't. I told him that you made me the person that I am today," She touched her finger to his chin and made him look up at her, "you make me feel whole." The graceful smile that curled onto her lips caused his heart to stutter and he was reminded how much this woman meant to him.
"How?" he questioned as his hands rubbed her sides. "How did I come to deserve you?"
She framed his face. "Same way I did: a stroke of luck." Leaning down, she kissed his lips and they both got lost in the haze; forgetting that she had a luncheon with her best friend and he had a job to get to.
::
Gabriella stared out at the ocean just steps from where she sat; a smile on her face. Sitting on the Evans' back patio, she awaited for her best friend to join her. Left alone with her mind, it slipped to the events of that morning; the sweet, sweet lovemaking that occurred after their heart to heart talk before he realized he was going to be late for work. But even as the realization dawned on him, he still found it hard to leave their bed. Fifteen minutes later - consumed by after sex cuddling - he finally found the strength to get up and go to work.
"You bitch!" Gabriella's head snapped to the side as Sharpay took a seat across from her. The confusion she was experiencing wiping all of her hints of lingering arousal from her body. "Oh, don't give me that look. You had sex this morning, didn't you?"
Confusion turns into amusement and she sits back in her seat; crossing her arms. "So what if I did? It's none of your business."
"Ugh." Sharpay mirrors her best friend's position. "I hate you. Here you are, getting laid almost every day and here I am, waiting for Chad to come back from visiting his parents before I can even feel his hands on me again. It's just not fair."
"Sorry?" Gabriella, honestly, didn't know what to tell her.
Sharpay waved her hand in dismissal. "Don't worry about it. It's not your fault my boyfriend's out of state. That's his." She sat up, putting both hands on the table; looking expectantly at the woman across from her. "Down to the real business. Where are they?" Smiling, Gabriella went into her purse and pulled out three black and white pictures: her ultrasound pictures. The blonde gasped as she took them from her. "What's the sex?"
"A boy."
She squealed. "He's so small."
"We'll he isn't fully developed, yet."
"I know that, but it's just... Sometimes I'm just in awe with what our bodies can do." Gabriella nodded in agreement. "So have you guys thought of any names, yet?" she asked giving the pictures back.
"No, we haven't." She stuck them back in her purse. "But we have months to figure it out."
"Have you thought about naming him after Alejandro?"
Gabriella froze. It had been so long since she'd heard Alejandro's name fall from anyone's lips that she had forgotten how much hearing it had an effect on her. Sensing the change in her best friend's demeanor, Sharpay reached for her hand and held it; a silent apology for bringing him up. The brunette sent her a sad smile and shook her head. "No, I hadn't thought about that, but I'll ask Troy what he thinks about it and we'll see."
"I'm so sorry about bringing him up. I know it's still a sore subject."
"It's fine, Shar. It's been - what? - almost ten years since his death. I need to get over it."
"He was your brother, Gabs; no one expects you to just let his death go."
"But I need to. I need to move on with my life and stop acting like just the mention of his name is forbidden. If I can't get passed that, then it'll be hanging over my head for the rest of my life and I don't want that."
"When's the last time you went to visit him?"
"Not since they buried him."
"Maybe... Maybe you should go back to see him; get all the things you want to say to him off your chest. Maybe that's what you need in order to move forward and seal the wound he left in your heart."
She nodded. "That sounds like a good idea. You don't mind if I cut this short?"
"Of course not. Call me later, alright?"
Nodding, Gabriella stood and went to hug her best friend. "Thank you."
Releasing from the embrace, Sharpay smiled brightly at the brunette before watching her leave. She knew that confronting the pain that her brother's death had caused was going to take a lot out of Gabriella, but she hoped that by the end of it that she would feel so much better about life; about herself.
::
She couldn't explain it, but she liked the cemetery. There was just a calm atmosphere about it that spoke to the chaos that resided within her. A chaos that she hoped could be quelled with this final piece of her heart that needed to be healed. Walking among the headstones, it took her a while to find the one she was looking for; the plot of dirt that was only marked by a single plaque on the ground.
Alejandro Montez
1986-2002
Memories flashed through her mind as she took in the sight of her brother's final resting place. The ground was well cared for so she could only guess that her father still held some semblance of love for his son. She wondered if it had been her lying six feet under would he have been so considerate to do the same. Sighing, she shook her head. Probably not. Taking a seat on the grass, she sat cross-legged and stared at the plaque.
"Hola, Alejandro," she spoke; her voice soft and full of emotion. "I know I haven't visited you at all since they brought you here," She paused as the knot in her chest tightened as she tried to fight the urge to break down, "but you left me." Tears began streaming down her face. "You left me. And as much as I tried to hate you for it -for leaving me to deal with Daddy on my own - I never can bring myself to." Even as she wiped away the tears that trickled down her cheeks, more still followed. She had opened the dam and it was going to be hard to close it. "But your death has had a lasting effect on me; so much that I can't even hear your name without feeling like there's a weight in my heart. I'm tired of feeling this way, Alex. I'm tired of letting this guilt hold me back. I'm married now; I'm going to be a mother in a few months. But I can't move forward with all of this sitting on my chest."
She took a deep breath. "For the longest time, I blamed myself for this; for your death. But...I've come to realize that it's not my fault. I didn't force you to sniff those lines. My only fault - my only mistake- was listening to you. I should have told Mom and Dad; shouldn't have let my fear of you hating me override my judgment. You hating me wouldn't have been the worst thing in life. I would rather have had you alive to hate me than to be here without you." More tears spilled from her eyes, despite her wishing they would stop. "But there's nothing I can do about it now except move on by telling you that I... I forgive you. I forgive you for leaving me; for not being there when I needed you most. I forgive you and I miss you so, so much." She pressed two fingers to her lips then to the plaque in front of her. "Goodbye, Alex. I love you."
She stood and walked away from her brother's grave. The wind blew around her and she closed her eyes; its presence doing more than just cooling her skin. Like a fallen leaf, the heaviness that had weighed down her heart for years was lifted from her and carried through the air. It had been years since she felt this light; she'd missed the feeling. No longer was she bogged down by the pain and the guilt that surrounded her after her brother's death. She was free. She was finally free.
::
Something was different about her; something that he couldn't put his finger on. He'd first noticed it when she called him earlier and asked if he wanted to go out for dinner. She sounded different. Sounded...lighter. For as long as he'd known her, he'd always known the constant sadness that hung in her heart. But as he sat across from her in the dark red booth of the tiny, brightly lit, fifties style diner, he knew that it no longer existed. It made him wonder what happened during the hours they were apart to cause such a shift in her. Her dark eyes shined brighter than he'd ever seen them and it caused his heart to swell with the knowledge that she was free of whatever burdens that had been weighing down her psyche.
"What?" she asked when she noticed he had been staring at her.
He shook his head and took her hand. "Nothing, you just seem...different; like you've changed."
"For the better or for worse?"
"Better. Definitely better, but that's not saying that I didn't like you before this."
She smiled, softly. "I feel different."
"Wanna talk about it?"
There was a small pause before she started to tell him about going to finally visit her brother's grave. She told him about how she had released all of her anger and guilt into an emotional confession and it left her feeling lighter than she had felt in years. Now he understood the change in her; now he could see the depth of how different she was now that she was free from all of the negative energy that surrounded her brother's death. He brought her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles before lacing his fingers with hers.
"What brought all of this on?" he asked "What made you go visit him?"
"Shar. She'd asked me what we were going to name the baby and when I told her that we haven't talked about it yet, she asked if I thought about naming him after Alex. Hearing his name brought back the pain and the guilt associated with his death and it showed on my face. So Shar suggested that I go; that maybe I needed to in order to be able to move on with my life."
She was contagious; the happiness radiating from her was infectious and he couldn't fight the smile that spread across his face. Loving caresses against the back of her hand followed. Her dark eyes fell on their joined hands before finding his again. In them, the same love that he was sure was reflected in his own blue gaze. She returned his smile with one of her own and the one she graced him with was so bright that it could put the sun to shame. If he hadn't been already irrevocably in love with her to begin with, he was certain that he would have fallen for her right then and there.
(This would have been up earlier, but for some reason Fanfiction wouldn't let me go into the 'manage stories' section of my account. I'm also sorry that it was so short.)