Kim looked at her husband, sitting on the sofa staring at the blank TV. He had been an absolute rock for her, flint hard but every now and then she saw the crack in that rock hard surface.

Kids adored him, they always had. Polly and Gus had hung off his every word when they were growing up. They were always desperate for him to come home and would climb over him like a jungle gym. He had been a beautiful father, funny, loving, adventurous, firm and fair. He taught them well, they were impressive adults and his grandchildren were benefitting from his presence in their parents lives and now in theirs.

His grandchildren swarmed over him and now, particularly Alfie needed his steady strong and patient heart to guide them. He felt like it was up to him to teach Alfie how to be a man, the man that his Dad wanted him to be, the man that his mother would be proud to see love a woman like his father had loved her. He had been that man for his son and Angus was a strong, steady, patient, kind and hardworking man who adored his wife and daughter. Adam was proud of the job he did, that they did together raising Angus and now he wanted to do that again for Alfie.

He had taught Polly never to settle for anything other than the best, and never compromise your own feelings and needs for another person because the right person for you would never ask you to change. Follow your heart and expect nothing but the best and to be treated like you were everything to the person you chose to love. Lola and Mae had seen that, they had seen their father adore their mother, they had seen Adam adore their mother and their grandmother. Iris was too little to remember by he was going to make sure she saw it too.

For Kim she needed everything from him right now, she needed him to remind her to breathe. When the world closed in around her he remained steady, when her world crumbled he picked her up. It was a touch, a hug, a hand squeeze, a word, a smile, a kiss or a simple gesture when she needed it. A cup of coffee, a meal, a trip to the shops when it was too much for her.

Yet he was hurting too. His heart was broken. Kim's daughter was dead and it felt like a part of her was dead too. Adam hadn't carried her, felt her grow and kick and squirm inside her, he hadn't given birth to her but he loved her, adored her, protected her and helped her grow into an amazing woman who became a loving wife and beautiful mother. She was part of him too and Kim had to remind herself some days that he was grieving too.

He missed his Polly, he missed everything about her and even though she lived on the other side of the world at least she was still in his life and they talked, either by text or skype everyday and now that had all stopped, one day, in the blink of an eye it was over and Adam admitted that he still woke up every day and for just a few seconds his daughter was still alive. He was still whole.

But it had been relentless; it just didn't stop. They thought life was busy raising two children, but nothing compared to the life they were living now. It wasn't just the fact they were suddenly raising their four grandchildren, they were four grieving children and every morning when they opened their eyes they had no idea what each day was going to bring.

Like right now, they had had a good day, they were happy enough but Adam was struggling with something. He had no light in his eyes as he stared at the wall with a glass of whiskey clasped in his hand and he swirled it almost without thought.

"What you thinking about?" Kim slid her arms over his shoulders from the back of the sofa.

"You."

"I miss you."

"I am right here Darlin'."

"No Baby. I miss you." She placed a gentle kiss behind his ear. "I miss you."

Adam lifted the glass to his mouth and took a sip before handing it to Kim to finish off. "You've got no idea how much I want you."

"I think I do." Adam rolled his head back and let Kim kiss his neck. "Come to bed Baby."

Time and age hadn't diminished anything. Not they need for each other or the feeling being close to each other bought them. Right now they needed each other, they didn't talk except for a few muttered words of desire, need and adoration. They could share the pain, the hurt and the devastation without saying a word. Sometimes when you knew someone deep enough, knew everything about them you didn't need to say the words.

Adam kissed away her tears, not for the first time and certainly not for the last. "For just a moment don't think, just feel me." He whispered. "Just feel me and my heart, it beats for you right now."

Arching her back she pulled him closer, deeper, nearer to her heart and for a moment she forgot.

Tragedy in the past, when they lost their baby had almost torn them apart. They were younger then and didn't have a lifetime of love behind them. They had two children though who needed them to stay strong so they fought hard and stayed the course. Now they had four little souls who had lost everything in the blink of an eye and more than ever they needed to surrounded strong arms and their love and they were going to get it. This bought them closer, closer than they thought possible and it was intense and comforting.

Words were irrelevant. Kim rested her head on his chest and fell asleep to the steady rise and fall of Adam's chest and the beat of his strong steady heart. It was the best she had slept for weeks.

"Good Morning Darlin'." Adam kissed her temple as she stirred. "Sleep well?"

"I did. Did you?"

"Yep." It was a peaceful few minutes. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"You, just thank you for being you and being mine."

It didn't take long before their bedroom door creaked open. "I up." It was that sweet little voice of their youngest granddaughter and every morning when they first saw her it made their heart skip a beat. She was the spitting image of her mother and that was bittersweet.

"Good Morning Bug." Kim rolled away from Adam and they laughed as she stripped off her pyjama bottom and pulled off her nappy. It had taken them a while to get used to calling it a nappy but Iris had no idea what they were talking about when she called it a diaper. "Do you need some help?"

"No. I wee." She disappeared into their bathroom, dragged the stool over and climbed up onto the toilet. Adam got up, helped her wash her hands and put her pants back on. Listening to them talk was hard, it took her back to those long forgotten mornings when Adam would be chatting away to Polly before he went to work. Before Kim could wallow too long Iris was scrambling up into bed with her. She snuggled down with MiMi, stealing her Pops' pillow.

"Sorry Baby." She shrugged. "You've been replaced."

"Temporarily and only because of what you gave me last night."

"What did I give you?"

"A moment of peace." Adam leant on the bed and planted a kiss on Kim's forehead. He tickled Iris before disappearing downstairs to start another day. Perhaps it might just be a little better than yesterday.

He woke Mae and Alfie on his way down. They were as slow as a month of Sundays when they had to get ready for school. Lola, he wasn't touching that beast. She was not a morning person and had politely reminded him, at the top of her voice several times that she sets her alarm and to leave her alone.

School was going okay. Alfie was stating to love it, he at least looked forward to going each day but Mae still was a little quiet. Her work was lagging a little, she wasn't finishing her work in class but they were hoping they would start to pick up soon once she settled a little more. She was still hit and miss with her talking, around family she was a chatterbox but step outside the house and it was a different story. She was making friends though which was a relief.

Lola seemed happy enough, at least that's what she told them and she had been out with some new friends to the movies and had a good time. She still talked to Adam almost every night and he was more than happy to continue with that. Unlike his conversations with Polly all those years ago he shared his chats with Lola with Kim, they just needed to know they were doing okay.

Km took them to school and Iris stayed home with Adam so he could get her dressed and ready for Heidi and by the time Kim got home Heidi was having a coffee with Adam before they left. They were talking about BraveHearts, they had contacted them about the upcoming charity dinner and asking for them to be involved. Nobody was sure they were ready to get too into it yet but it was happening and they needed to get back to them.

"You ready to go Iris?" Kim missed her when she was gone. The house seemed quiet when it was empty, way too quiet and within an hour of Iris leaving Kim and Adam were rattling around wondering what to do with themselves and usually went out to keep themselves busy.

She grabbed her bag and bought it over to Heidi. She loved her day out and it seemed to do her good to be with other people for a while but she always loved coming home. Kim was catching up with her 'old witches' group as Adam called them. They had been friends since their kids were little and they had rallied around Kim a little and Adam liked that. They both appreciated the efforts of their friends to support them through these rough months.

Adam was spending the day with Gus on the shooting range. He had to re-certify for his firearm license and Adam always went with him for a shoot beforehand. It was a tradition and Adam was looking forward to it.

"How's Mom?" Gus had been a godsend. He had been level headed when they were spinning out, he fussed over them while the kids settled in and along with Andrew had flown back to Australia to pack up their house and bring their things back. While they were there they attended a memorial service at the Zoo for Sam and Polly. He missed his sister like crazy but was determined to make sure her children had the life that Polly and Sam wanted for them.

"She's okay today Bud."

"And you?"

"Happy to be here with you. Keen to kick your ass."

"You wish."

"How's my Viv?" Being so caught up with Polly's kids Vivienne often got left. Even when they did see her Iris would get jealous if they spent too much time with her. Alfie didn't like it much either and Viv had started to not want to come over to see her MiMi and Pops because of 'the kids.' It had hurt Adam when Viv told him she didn't want to see him and they had started making a real effort to spend time with her without the others around and it seemed to be working. It was hard with her being at school too but they did make the effort to go to all her assemblies and concerts at school. If they both couldn't make it at least one of the would.

"She's good."

"I haven't seen her for a couple of weeks. I miss her."

"It's okay Dad."

"Nah it's not. You know we love Viv so much, we miss her and she's just as important to us as the others. It's just hard at the moment."

"Dad, we know." Gus sucked in a deep breath, he didn't know how to bring it up and this was the perfect opening. "And we know you'll love the next one just as much."

"The next one?"

"Rhiannon is pregnant. 14 weeks. We found out just after Polly…." His voice trailled off. "It didn't seem like the time to celebrate or you know, tell people but she's really popped out lately and we can't hide it anymore" Gus and Rhiannon, being the complete opposite to Polly and Sam struggled with fertility. It had taken them a while to fall pregnant with Viv and again it had been a long struggle to conceive again. Viv was almost seven now and they had been trying since she was two. They never talked about it though, if Viv was all they had then they'd be happy with that.

"Why would you want to hide it? Gus, that's awesome news." Adam hugged him tightly. "It's awesome. This is just what we need. Have you told your Mom?"

"Not yet, we thought we would come over for dinner tonight."

"Can't wait, she'll just be happy to see you all and this will send her off. Hey Rhiannon is good right?"

"Yeah, it's all good. The Baby is growing well and she feels great now. It was a bit rough in the start but we had a scan yesterday and it all looks good. We are excited. It just feels a bit weird though." Gus shook his head sadly. "To be happy about this, with all this other shit going on."

"Gus, come on man. This is great news, you should be happy. I'm happy, I need some joy in my life right now. Your Mom will be happy. This is good for us, all of us."

"I hope so."

"You know I figure you are about to tell me this is TMI, but this news together with the fact that your Mom and I actually got to spend some quality time together last night, like real quality and with this news, this is the happiest I've been in months."

"You are right TMI Dad." Gus just chuckled and Adam roared with laughter. It was good to hear him laugh again. Gus worried about his parents, it was a huge burden for them to take on Polly and Sam's kids, not that he expected them to do any less.

Gus had been a little hurt that they hadn't asked him and Rhiannon to take on the care of the kids but a letter left by Polly helped him understand the reasons why and get past it.

My favourite Brother in the whole world,

If you are reading this, then obviously things have gone to shit big time.

I couldn't have made it through life without you beside me. You've always been my rock, you supported me, loved me even when you hated me (that's what siblings do right) Mom and Dad did good with you, and with us. I love you to the moon.

Even when I was a bitch I always knew that I had you, my brother who was always going to be in my corner. Just like I was always in yours. I'm proud of you, I'm proud to call you my brother and promise me that you will continue to chase your dreams and Angus, follow your heart. If it's not right for you, then say so. Don't continue to live a life you don't want for fear of letting us down. Don't let yourself down, be true, be strong and be you and that's enough for us.

Something's gone wrong and I am not here anymore to see you be the best husband and Daddy in the world. I've loved watching find your one in a million, I've loved watching you be a Daddy to Vivienne and the best uncle in the world to my four humans. I hope you'll be a Daddy again soon. I hold my breath every time you call hoping you are going to tell me you are having another baby, the baby I know you and Rhiannon want so desperately. I want you to have all the love and happiness in the world. You deserve it.

I know it's been hard for you and Rhiannon to watch us grow our family and I really want you to experience all that. It was a hard decision for us to put our children in the hands of someone else. I really wanted it to be you, we both did. More than that I want you to have your own family and while we both agreed that you would be the best uncle in the world to our precious humans we don't want to burden you with them when you are growing your own family. We didn't want you to put your future second. You need to make your future, your family and not be burdened by mine.

Vivienne and who ever is still to come, and I know there is someone not far away for you and Rhiannon deserve to have your undivided love and attention. My humans had it, they had their Dad to love them, adore them, teach them, guide them and be there everything. Vivienne needs you to be her everything.

We hope that our humans live long happy lives; we hope they aren't crumbling but part of me also hopes that they miss us and might just be not okay for a bit. (Is that selfish?) I know that you will still be there for them, but you need to be there for your Vivienne and Rhiannon and your future child. That's why we made this choice, not because we didn't think you could or would do it, I know you would in a heartbeat but I just couldn't take you away from your family to care for mine.

It wasn't an easy decision and Sam and I struggled with it, we cried, and more than that we hoped that you would never read this letter. It hurt to write it as much as I guess it hurts you to read it.

We desperately want you to be involved in their lives, like you are already. We want you to make sure that they want for nothing. We tried to make sure that they would never have to worry about paying for their education, homes or dreams and we know you will make sure that never happens.

Angus, I love you with all my heart. Hug my humans every chance you get, hug your humans and tell them all about Aunty Polly and Uncle Sam. Make them great Angus; make them great like you.

Look after Mum and Dad, remind them that I love them, that I will always love them and that I never wanted to leave them, you and my humans.

Forever

Polly.

He had read that letter so many times. He knew it word for word and vowed that his biggest job was to make sure those humans had everything they would ever need. He agonised over every decision he made regarding the finances. He would honour his sister; he wouldn't let her down.

Adam clapped him on the shoulder to bring him out of his headspace. "Let's go shoot some things. This is a celebration."