Elizabeth was frustrated.
It had been three days since Meg had last spoken to her. The longest she had ever gone with not talking to the girl, while she was residing at Pemberley was for a day thus, she sitting alone in her sitting room with nothing more but a book was a very odd occurrence for Elizabeth.
She wanted Meg to come and talk to her on her own, she did not want to force her into speaking about her outburst but it had become increasingly hard for Elizabeth to leave her alone. Her resolve crumbled when she had gone in search for Meg earlier that day but Amelia, Meg's mother had informed her that Meg had told her that she was dismissed to spend her day in the library.
When she had gone to the library in search of Meg, she was not there, that's when she had given up on finding her and had went for a walk in the garden with her other two two granddaughters.
Despite the age difference between Mary and Amy the two were as thick as thieves, doing everything together. Mary usually leading Amy into trouble and then blaming it on her. Thus it was with no surprise to Elizabeth when she had found Amy up a tree, crying because she was unable to get down and Mary standing at the bottom, looking flushed, almost as if she had climbed a tree, after she had lost them on one of the trails.
"Grandma, I told her not to climb up. That she wouldn't manage but she insisted that she could.", Mary immediately excused when she saw her coming from behind the trees.
"She's lying!", squealed Amy from atop the tree, "she said that if I didn't climb the tree, I was a baby!", she accused between panicked sobs.
"Hush, Amy, everything will be fine" she said, immediately going into action to find away to get the girl down. She couldn't help but think that if she was any younger, she could easily have been able to climb that tree but it seemed with her old bones she would only be making more trouble. "Quick Mary, be fast and go fetch someone from the house to help, I'll stay here with Amy."
Mary did not need to go far to find help as she had found Meg making her way towards them in the same speed that she was trying to get to the house with, telling her sister about the situation they were in, she grabbed her hand and pulled her the rest of the distance towards the problem.
Elizabeth watched Meg in silence not daring to talk to her unless she spoke. Meg did not waste a glance on her, quickly taking in what had happened and hoisting herself up the tree. Once she had got to Amy, she was able to guide the girl down the tree, jumping down herself once her cousin was safely on the ground.
When Meg had got down, she turned to her sister, "Mary, you can't be this irresponsible with Amy. You are older, you understand more that is why she looks up to you and tries to impress you."
"I do try to do the same with you, grandmother" she continued, turning to Elizabeth, "I try impressing you so much so that when I find that I am unable to, I say some rather harsh words from the frustration. I am frustrated, grandmother, frustrated that I am unable to see what my future holds for me. Frustrated that I think I am unable to love a man enough for him to be my husband. I've never felt those feelings that Ben often describes as love. I've never become nervous around men as my friends I have. I am frustrated."
Throughout her speech, Lizzy had remained silent. Only speaking once she was done by grabbing the girls two hands in her own.
"Margaret, even if you can't find a marriage with love, at least find a man who will be able to respect you, because marriage brings about more love than you can ever expect." she said a faraway look in her face.
"Mary, go along and ask for the boys so I can l continue with the story, do be fast"
Mary hurried of with a swish of her skirts, leaving Meg to fuss over Amy while Lizzy got a maid to get them something to eat from the kitchen.
It wasn't long for the maid to come back, carrying q picnic basket and blanket. Shortly followed by Mary, the boys trailing behind her as she impatiently marched towards them.
Elizabeth had the maid set up the picnic close to a bench where she sat down allowing the rest to sit on the blanket below her, with Margaret to her one side and Amy to her other. The boys and Mary catching their breaths as they attacked the food that was set up.
"Meg finally agreed to join" Tom said with a spiteful sneer on his face as he glared at his cousin, who just rolled her eyes at him.
"Yes, I have, Thomas. Is that a problem?"
Shaking his head, dismissively as he ignored his younger cousins giggles, he turned to his grandmother motioning for her to begin.
"I do hope it is a love story" Ben put in, wistfully, as he hungrily picked up a sandwich.
Thomas who was in an annoyed mood that sunny afternoon and was growing tired of his cousins, groaned loudly at that comment but was ignored by the party as his grandmother replied.
"It is, indeed, Ben, but I don't think its the type you would expect"
"Oh but surely love is love, no matter the type"
The wrinkling Lizzy smiled, leaning back against the bench that she was comfortably seated on as she took in the expressions on the faces of her grandchildren that was so different from one another.
From the wide smile on Amy's face as she laughed happily at the birds flying above, unaware of the worries of the world and often trapped in her own perfect one, to the tough front that Mary often put up when she was around her older siblings and cousin, and the bored look on Tom's face as he twirled a piece of grass between his fingers. The wide smile on Ben's face as he rocked impatiently waiting for her to Ben. Her eyes soon sought Meg's and she saw the curiosity and hopefulness shine in her golden orbs as she waited for Lizzy to give the answer to her worries.
Clearing her croaky throat Lizzy allowed her words and memories to transport not only her but her grandchildren as well to a time in her life when there seemed to be so many opportunities she had yet to discover.
40 and some years ago
The news of Mrs Darcy's confinement did not just excite those living in the Pemberley estate and family members, but some might say the whole of Derbyshire. For the only reason that the active Mrs Darcy would confine herself could surely only be for the reason of an impeding child, which would be the heir to the great estate of Pemberley.
Despite the well wishes of many, one of the most excited was Georgiana Darcy who was often found besides her sister-in-law trying to use her little skill in needle work to knit something special for her new niece or nephew. Unlike the previous Georgiana who would have fretted and worried over her inability in knitting a sock, this one , who's confidence had grown in the two years in living with the witty Lizzy just dismissed the weird looking sock with a laugh and sang to the bump in her sister-in-law's stomach that a life was surely forming in.
Mr. Darcy's office was found to be getting less company as he was often found to be fussing over his wife and his unborn child and some might argue that he spent more time with her during this time then he did during the first year of there marriage.
It was during such an occasion when Georgiana burst into the parlour to find Lizzy lain across her back with her hands comfortably resting against the bulge in her stomach that she had grown so used to during those 9 months that she could barely remember a time when it was not there, her head resting on her husbands lap as she closed her eyes trying to relax while he read to her from her favourite book.
Georgiana, whose embarrassment could be imagined at walking into such an intimate moment, wanted to leave the room but seeing that the attention of the couple was already on her and that they were making themselves more presentable because of her noisy entrance, she gave the announcement that she was sent with.
"The Bennets are here!" She said in a quick voice and with redness in her cheeks as a fussing Mrs Bennet barged in behind her cutting her off.
"Oh my darling girl!" she squealed, which was soon followed by a grumbling Mr. Bennet and smiling Kitty.
When Mr. Darcy went to help Lizzy up to greet her parents, Mr. Bennet stopped them with a swish of his hands.
"Remain seated, Lizzy, I don't want to be much of a bother. Just have one of the maids take us up to our rooms so that we may rest, it has been a tiresome journey., you see"
"I would do that, papa, but your arrival was not expected. Mama wrote to me previously that you were to stay to help Mary get settled into her new home…"
Lizzy was cut off by her younger sister, who was all to happy to put in her piece of gossip. "Indeed, they are quite poor, Lizzy. The house cannot even be compared to your Pemberley, if you can even call it a house, that is"
"Oh hush, Kitty, at least your sister is married. Where shall we sleep then, Eliza?", asked Mrs Bennet.
"The maids are currently setting up rooms for you as we speak" came the quiet voice of Georgiana, who was forgotten as she was pushed to the side by the entrance of the Bennets.
"I'm sure they won't be long, I'm certain you only employ the best, Mr Darcy" remarked Mrs Bennet sweetly to her son-in-law as she seated herself.
"I'll call for tea" squeaked Georgiana, rushing out of the room without another word, once everyone was seated.
"Georgiana!?" Lizzy called after her, moving to get up but was shortly stopped by Mr. Darcy, who waved at her to leave it as he rushed after his sister.
"Is Miss Darcy unwell, Lizzy?"
"She seemed well before.. I'm sure she is just busy with her music.", she replied, trying to hide the worry from her face as she smiled at her family and patiently answered her mother's question.
Just as Mrs Bennet had assumed it wasn't long for a maid to come announce that their rooms were ready, which had Mr and Mrs Bennet rushing out to get some much needed rest, leaving Lizzy alone with her sister and worrying over the disappearance of the Darcy siblings.
"So much has changed since Lydia got married" Kitty surprised Lizzy by saying suddenly, as she stared thoughtfully out the window. "After that, Jane and you were married and I was left with Mary. We were actually growing close, she wasn't as dreary as we had assumed but she still read those tiresome sermons. So you could imagine my surprise when I had found her joined to the lips with Mr. Brown's son and behind a bush no less, I guess her books eventually did begin to bore her but I would never think that she would stoop so low and do such a thing. The worst part being that I'm now the last unmarried sister and Lydia won't stop bothering me about it and it will be near impossible finding a husband with this big of a scandal to our names"
When Kitty turned and noticed the look of shock on her sister, she realised what she had revealed, she did not say anything else as she allowed her sister to get her bearing. Just continued to stare out the window.
Elizabeth was speechless, she had known that Mary's wedding was rushed but knew nothing of the details of it. She admitted that she was surprised when she found out that Mary was marrying a farmer's son but hardly dwelled on it as she was caught up in her own life. Worries began to pour into Lizzy's mind .
When her sister had not said anything, Kitty had grabbed her hand to get her mind away from her worrying. "I did not tell you this to fret over it and there really is no reason for worry, papa had them married and a lot of people do know of the situation but there isn't much we can do. Mary is now married to him. Her lodgings may not be the best and it's by far anything I would have liked and Mary will have to be doing a lot of housework but she seemed perfectly fine with it, it was her choice."
Shaking her head to get rid of her worrisome thoughts which surely would not be the best in her situation, Lizzy smiled at her younger sister.
"When did you become so mature?"
"I suppose when I became the only Miss Bennet and realised that there are more important things than ribbons" she said with a heavy sigh as she smiled teasingly at her older sister. "You see, I now find myself in quite a problem. I do doubt that I would be able to find anyone suitable enough to marry me. I would have pleaded with you or Jane to take me for a season to London but George is hardly a year and you will soon be in the same situation. I'm now more than 20 years of age and by the time you or Jane are able to attend a season, I'll surely be a spinster"
She spoke slowly and calmly to her older sister, a way that she had learned to speak to her mother in the 3 years that she and Mary were left to fend against their mother's nerves. Just as the rest of her sister's had, Kitty wished to escape from it and begin a new chapter, away from Longbourn.
"I do see the predicament that you are in but I can't help but wonder whether you tell me this to vent or is there another motive?"
Smiling at her, she continued. "You guessed correct. I would not dream on spilling my worries onto you, especially in your condition. If I had no other choice and if I did not find myself in this most dire situation, I would have found my own solution but seeing as I've been searching and the only one that I could find would require your help. That is why I find myself her, pleading with you despite never being the best of sisters to you and often having been described as silly-"
"I understand what you are coming at. No need to continue explaining." Lizzy cut her off as she began to ramble, trying to make her thoughts clear to her sister. "What is it that you need me to do?"
"Well, Maria Lucas, who has grown quite dear to me in these lastfew years, and the same for me to her, is to be married. To a man of excellent character, who I have had the pleasure of meeting. She met him and grew close to him during one of her visits to Rosings to see Charlotte. I don't know if you know him. I think he is family of Mr. Darcy's… he was introduced as colonel Fitzwilliam?"
"Colonel FItzwilliam?!" Lizzy asked, finding herself shocked yet again by her sister's words. "As in my husband's cousin, colonel Fitzwiliam?"
"I had no idea that he was Mr. Darcy's cousin."
"We heard of his soon to be marriage but not much was given about his bride… Maria Lucas?"
"Indeed, they are very deeply in love."
" I would have never guessed"
"They are to go for a tour of the continent after the wedding and so Maria has given me a way out of all my problems…" she said, looking at her older sister from under her lashes, "she has offered for me to journey with them, given I'm not a bother. The colonel has of course agreed to provide for my lodgings and passage but I'm afraid that won't be enough and I was hoping that if it wasn't so much trouble you would be able to provide me with a small amount so I can enjoy the sights"
"Of course", was Elizabeth's immediate reply, "I won't even need to ask Mr. Darcy because I receive a big enough allowance to provide for both me and you."
"Oh thank you, Lizzy. I was so worried you would say no. I don't know how I would have even survived any more time with mama's nerves and I'll pay you back for every cent, if I am someday able to."
"Don't even think about it. I'll still be beyond comfortable without it"
"I should get some rest before dinner", she said, after a while, walking away and leaving Lizzy alone with her thoughts.
That evening, the Darcy and Bennet family ate heartedly, happy about the soon addition and about the solutions that they problems seemed to have found. Well all besides for Georgiana. Despite the smile that graced her face her mind was tumbling as she tried to find a solution to her own problem which her brother seemed to be in the way of.
The light of the candle in Mr. And Mrs Darcy's chamber's was only blown out during the deepest parts of the night as they told each other of the discoveries they had made on that day, that had started off as any other.
The running of the wax on the candle did not have much time to rest because it was soon racing again when cries of pain was heard from Mrs Darcy a few hours later.
The groans that she had tried to conceal as her husband made his own sleeping sounds besides her, soon became hard to hide and she was forced to wake up the heavily sleeping, Mr. Darcy.
It was not long after the first tired candle had been lit that the whole Pemberley house had been awaken and preparations were underway for the arrival of the newest Darcy.
The doctor was called and the room was prepared. Mr. Darcy stayed with Lizzy through this holding her hand as maids swarmed around them. He whispered calming words into her ear and spoke of his excitement for their child.
It was not long for the doctor to declare that it was time for him to leave and so with a lot of stalling he eventually did. As he walked out of the door with a loving kiss from his wife's lips, came some of the most hardest hours of Mr. Darcy's life, which at the time it felt like weeks upon weeks was found to only last ten hours.
For the first three hours, he spent in the company of his sister, Miss and Mr Bennet. He sat in the drawing room with a hot cup of tea in his hands, his legs shaking nervously as he listened to the two young girls discuss names and the fun they can have with a child as Mr Bennet lost himself in a book.
When the fourth hour came about and the sun was now high in the sky and the feint sound of screams of pain could be heard in the drawing room, that the simple shaking of his legs could no longer satisfy his nerves and his pacing of the length of the room began. Mr. Bennet tried forcing alcohol into him so that he could be distracted from his worries.
After two hours of continuous pacing and downing glasses of alcohol, Mr. Darcy found himself drunk in a room alone with his father-in-law. Kitty and Georgie who had moved onto much deeper subjects and seemed to have grown closer, had run off to a different room to continue their discussion. Mr. Bennet who had never grown close to the formidable man that was his son-in-law, was quite lost at what to do when he found him panicking, his drunken state not helping at all.
The once collected Mr. Darcy was completely broken with the awareness that the woman that he loved was in pain as she fought to deliver their child, had him in a near tear state from the panic. The alcohol in his system did not help at all as memories of the previous time the Pemberley house was shaken from the screams of pain from birthing a baby filled his head.
He remembered the time he sat in a room with his father, his uncle was there too. He barely understood what was happening except that after all the screams from his mother he would have a new sibling, at the time he did not care much about that, rather that his friend, George was doing something exciting while he was trapped inside. He remembered how his mother's screams had echoed through the house and how his father would often tiredly run his fingers through his hair. He remembered how he had bombarded his uncle with questions as to why his mother was in so much pain in an attempt to allow his young mind to understand. It had not felt like a long while when the screaming changed to a cry of a baby and his little world had been turned around as his father was called from the room by a solemn looking doctor.
He found himself following his father with the doctor expecting to be able to see his mother again, but was surprised when they were not guided to his mother's room but rather a room with a sleeping baby.
The elder Mr. Darcy had been just as confused as his son as the doctor pulled him away and whisper a few words to him. The effect of those words were immediate. He first gave a cry of disbelief as he pushed the doctor away, his breathing became frantic as reality dawned on him and he looked at his son as his thoughts turned to him and how it would effect him.
As his father's pain filled face, swam before his eyes, Mr Darcy snapped out of the drunken stupor that had carried him from the drawing room, having pushed down his father-in-law who had tried to stop his exit, and guided him up the stairs as his wife's screams turned into his mother's. He had banged on the door and demanded and begged to be let in, this had only scared Lizzy as she struggled to remain calm through all that was happening.
This had Mrs Reynolds rushing from Lizzy's side to get him to leave but this only caused his eyes to glaze with tears as he demanded the women who had become a mother to him to allow him to see his wife. Mr. Bennet had gotten two footman to help him forcefully remove Mr. Darcy from the room.
That was how Mr. Darcy found himself locked in his study, having become a bit sober. His tall and large figure crumpled on the floor as he struggled to get through what felt like an eternity while his mind drowned with thoughts of possible futures that had him shaking.
Lizzy who was exhausted and her lack of sleep from the previous night did not help her situation as she laid on the bed that held so many peaceful nights, panting and screaming. Her mother, who had surprised her and had been the calmest of all in the room held her hand tightly and softly urged her to continue while giving her sips of water.
She could not remember a time she had felt so much pain. Her grip on her mother's hand would grow tighter with every wave of pain she felt. She often would scream that she could not go on, that she wanted the pain to end but her mother would reassure her that it would be worth it in the end.
At first she was apprehensive at the fact that her mother would be in the room but seeing that none of her other sisters would be able to be with her she had no other choice. In the end when the time came, she did not regret her mother's presence because instead of the usual nerves and dramatics that she was used to from her mother, she found a cool and calm person in her place.
When she had at first panicked after her husband had left her side, her mother was there to assure her that all would be fine even without him. When she had complained of hunger, having eaten last during supper, her mother was there to get her favourite food served to her, going as far as helping her eat. When her cramps had worsen, considerably as her baby shifted within her, her mother was there holding her hand and soothing her to be patient.
When her husband had banged on the door demanding to be let in, she was sure that was the end of the calmness and her mother would be back to her old self, demanding her smelling salts. She was wrong again, her mother had ignored her husband completely and stuck by her side, reminding her not to worry and all would be seen to.
Despite her mother's calmness, Lizzy's first child delivery was not as easy as it would have seemed. she found the amount of maids in the room to be suffocating, she hated being the centre of attention and the way the doctor ordered her in what she should do had frightened her, her mind going into a panic as pain often jolted through her body.
Her frustration was increased when she could not find the words to tell everyone in the room what she wanted, that she couldn't tell the doctor that the way her legs was being grasped made the pain worse, that the maid dabbing a towel on her forehead was only getting hair in her face and that Mrs Reynolds, loudly ordering everyone, was making it difficult for her to hear the doctor's guides. This caused tears to spring to her eyes as she strangled a sob in the back of her throat.
Mrs Bennet had fortunately noticed the tears brimming in her daughter's eyes, and had immediately calmed her down and seen to what was troubling her. Once Lizzy had been able to communicate what she wanted, everything was a lot more easier for her.
It did not feel like long after that, that the doctor was urging her to push, that was a lot more harder than she could've anticipated but it was all worth it when her body was completely tired and she felt like she could sleep for weeks that after one weak push with a scream, she heard the rewarding sound of a baby's cry Her body slumped after that, her hair stuck to the side of her face from sweat, her night gown rolled up to her waist and her eyes drooping closed, she slept content in the knowledge that she was now a mother.
She had woken again to the feeling of someone nudging her, confusion was written all over her face as she looked around the room, her eyes first falling to her husband's sleeping figure besides her, who had been guided from his study and placed next to his wife to sleep off the rest of his drunkenness.
It did not take her long to realise what had happened from the ache in her body and when her eyes landed on what looked like a small bundle of blankets wrapped in a maid's arms, which caused her to shake her husband awake.
When it was noticed that the new parents had awakened, Mrs Reynolds took the cleaned baby from the maid to be presented.
"Mr, Mrs Darcy, your daughter" said she, settling the wrapped bundle into Lizzy's arms.
"Such light hair, like Georgie's and Jane's" Lizzy cooed, gently twisting a piece of the soft fluff of hair.
Mr. Darcy nodded silently shocked by the sight of his child, "This was worth the wait" he declared as he brushed his finger against his daughter's cheek.
"Amelia Jane Darcy" said Lizzy, looking at her husband to see her smile mirrored in his.
The hours leading up to Mr. and Mrs Darcy's first child was some of the lowest of their life but as they sat together gazing down at the golden haired girl, they felt at their highest.
As Lizzy and Mr. Darcy gazed upon their daughter a wave of unexplainable love washed through them, having thought before that the strongest love that they felt was for each other, the one that they felt in that moment was completely different. It was inexplainable how they could love someone that they had just met.
"I have never seen it that way!", declared Ben, "there are so many different types of love and I've only been focusing on the one" he said, his voice trailing off as he hurried to his feet, "please excuse me, grandmother, I must write about this." he continued, rushing off to what Lizzy assumed to be his room.
Meg hardly batted an eye at her brother's antics, already predicting that he would spend a few days locked in his room, contemplating words as his hands ached from the amount of ink he used. Her mind was rather whirling around the bit of hope that had been given to her from her grandmother's story.
Lizzy watched her granddaughter, intently as she tried to get an idea on what her thoughts looked like, but instead as she had expected, her face was blank, a void of any emotion as her eyes moved with the young girls chasing each other on the grass. There was only one way to learn what Meg was thinking, she was not one to give her opinion easily, and Lizzy knew well that the only way she would get answers was if she asked.
And so she did but indeed as it often was with her granddaughter, her answer was not what she expected albeit she didn't have an expectancy when it came to Meg.
"I must admit", she began, "I have not often pondered over the thought of children since the idea of marriage has not been one that I have liked as you well know nevertheless if I do have to consider marriage even if it is not for love, being able to bring life and raise others would an idea I would not mind entertaining and even hope for."
Lizzy was content with the answer that she had received as it was with the most enthusiasm she had heard her speak about marriage with.
When grandmother and granddaughter were about to settle into content silence with each other as they often had done before, they were interrupted by a familiar cheery voice as the owner of that voice came running from the house, announcing the oddest of words.
"Meg, Meg, I am to be wed!"
A/n yeah, yeah I know it's been more than a month since I've updated this tory but school started and I haven't had a chance to writ but this chapter has been the longest I've ever written with more than 5000 words, my previous highest being 1000 so yay for that.
Anyway what an exciting chapter and a cliffhanger...
oh and btw, sorry to anyone who was offended by y depiction of labour. i wrote Lizzy's feelings on it and her experience purely from hearsay and research, so if i did anything wrong or the pain she felt is wrong, please let me know and ill consider changing it according to that when im editing.
Deanna27, handansultan, idk... actually I do but I guess you'll have to wait. btw glad you enjoyed the chapter.
mangosmum I even especially liked experimenting with the relationship between Darcy and her and I hope to explore more with it in upcoming chapters
regencygirl17, your humble opinion is very much appreciated and as you will notice my first paragraphs are always a bit shaky and I will definitely be using your advise in anything that I write. as I replied earlier idk...
Leslie E, so glad that you enjoyed the story and I do realise and i'm really excited about it tho idk how long it will take me to complete with the distractions of the real world getting in my way.
nancillen thank you so much for reviewing, it is highly appreciated and it makes writing even if it is a great enjoyment to me so much more exciting to hear your thoughts.
Thanks for reading and reviewing and please tell me your thoughts on this chapter. Just a heads up, I would not expect another chapter for about a month, I do know what I want to write but unfortunately that will have to wait since we've started with exams and i'll be busy studying sooo...