Forget Me Not

Chapter Nine

"Nobel Prize-winning neuroscientist,

Erick Kandel, says we are who we

are because of what we learn &

what we remember. Who am I then,

If my memory is impaired?"

-Mira Bartok

Ezra

It was cold.

I don't remember ever being in the snow, maybe there was a time that I was, but not that I could remember indefinitely. I had been in Rosewood for almost 24 hours. It was Friday, but I came on Thursday. I couldn't stand being in a the house with Alison if it meant she would be pawing at me so I would collapse and give in to her like I usually did. She tried many other way to persuade me, but I assure you I didn't take the bate, nor was it appropriate enough to share.

I was on my way to see Aria at the bar she told me to meet her at. I couldn't lay my finger on it, but something about these streets had familiarity. Almost as if I had lived here for years. I turned on Hollis Way looking for Snooker's. My eyes scanned the perimeter until my gaze landed on the run down building. I parked my car on the other side of the street and made my way over to this unfamiliar place. It reeked of vomit and fried onions. Aria was sitting on a barstool, wearing grey jeans and a light pink t-shirt, topping it off with a bold black scarf and a thick black peacoat much like my own. She felt my eyes on her, causing her to look up. Her hazel eyes mixed with the darker lighting seemed to make them pop.

"Hey." Something was wrong. Her voice was shaky. Before I spoke up I peeled off my coat; the second she saw my shirt her face tightened. She turned back to the drink resting in her hands. I looked down at my navy blue thermal. Was I doing something wrong?

"Are you okay?" She avoided my eyes at all costs. It hurt a little bit not to see her face.

"Yeah." She turned back to me. She had a stray tear falling down her cheek.

What the hell? Why was I having these thoughts, getting these feelings for this girl? I'm married.

I had this desire, this need, this thing inside of me that I couldn't describe to make her happy. Something I did made her turn to mush, made her have a weak moment, I had already had my suspisions of Aria knowing something about me, but now it wasn't that she knew something, she knew me.

I had an all new feeling - a kind of determination. I wiped her cheek, feeling that same spark that was there from the brush of hands, to the kiss, leading up to now.

"Thanks," she muttered. I nodded, leading her to a booth so she couldn't avoid looking at me. She sat across from me, staring at her hands. "So what did you want to talk about?"

I played with my hands, to be honest I didn't need to talk about anything. I just needed to see her. She looked up from her hands, hesitantly looking me in the eye. Something. I saw it clearly.

I was sitting at the bar counter, the same one that was right in front of me. I walked over and looked over my own shoulder, trying to see what I saw so focused on.

Ulysses. The book that I could never finish. I smiled, remembering when Alison sat across from me before Marley was born and I would read to her on the couch. I diverted my attention back to a much younger me. I turned down to see a girl in a purple dress with boots staring at a missing poster of..Alison? I was beyond confused and I couldn't remember the face of this girl in a purple dress.

"Can I get a cheeseburger, please?" her voice immediately reminded me of someone, but I still couldn't put my finger on it. I saw the younger version of myself look up, take notice, and smile at the girl.

"You alright down there?"

"Yeah just a bit jet-lagged, I just got back from Europe." I could sense her smirk from the tone of her voice.

"Where in Europe?"

"Iceland." I watched the unknown girl and I converse, I mentioned something about Amsterdam and she nodded, we connected over writing. If I knew who she was, I would divorce Alison and fall for with her within the hour.

Was that a memory? I couldn't be sure.

"Ezra? Are you okay?" I nodded as Aria snapped me out of my daze. She looked a bit more at ease than before.

"Yeah, yeah..I just wanted to know if we were okay? I know we had a moment, but I-" She interjected with a tight smile, I could read her like a book.

"It's fine," she said stiffly. "Wer'e okay." I nodded again, almost as if it were a routine.

"So, who've you been spending time with?" I tried to make small talk, taking a sip of my Bourbon.

"My boyfriend." She muttered. I nodded again, I could swear it was a routine now. I did it everytime she spoke.

"Oh." It was awkward. Beyond awkward, actually. I was more confused than ever, too. Every time I was around this girl, something would happen. I would gain a memory but lose the details. I shivered, the cold from the outside opened along with the door. Two strangers came in holding hands and staring at each other lovingly. Aria stared a moment too long, because I saw a glimmer of longing, of desperate wanting in her eyes. She turned back to me, giving me another fake smile.

"Are you staying with someone or are you stuck in some crummy Rosewood hotel?" I chuckled, shaking my head. Something I hadn't done for a few days now.

"Rosewood Hotel. It's better than what we have in California. I stayed in one for a while..my shirt smelled like mothballs for a week." We laughed softly and Aria took a sip from her drink, uncomfortable from the easiness of our conversation.

"Can we act like the hotel thing never happened?" The one thing I was most afraid of her saying...she said.

"Yeah..I guess," I rubbed my neck.

Would it scare her?

"I know this is the last thing you want to hear because of your boyfriend," I spit the word resentfully, I knew it was unfair of me to say that becasue I was married and Aria was only with a guy that she could potentially marry, but I continued anyways. "But, you can't deny that something is here. I know you feel it, too. It can't just be me. I feel insane, and like a complete ass, but it can't just be me? Is it just me?" Aria sat quietly looking like she was on the verge of tears. She couldn't look at me.

"Ezra, You know that I like you..but-" I gathered my jacket from next to me stopping her mid-sentence.

"Say no more, Aria. I got it. When you said I needed to stay out of your life, you meant it. Plus, I'm married and completely in love with my wife, right? And I have a daughter so why would you feel the same? I'm insane."

"No-" she interjected.

"I should go." I picked up my jacket and left a 20 dollar bill on the table. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw an Aria with tears in her eyes.

I had a bad habit of doing that to her.

Aria

I could feel Ezra staring at me as I cried. Half of me hoped he would turn around, kiss me and apologize, but that sounded more like something the old Ezra would have done. Just thinking about it broke my heart into another thousand pieces, but when he said he knew there was something between us, I felt somewhat happy, like the void I knew I had was begining to close, like I, myself, was getting closure without actually getting closure. He didn't think I felt the same about him, though. He stopped me before I could say anything. I looked up at the doorway where he stood a few moments ago. He had left, taking the only good smell in the bar with him.

"Can I get you anything?" The bar tender asked. He saw me crying, obviously assuming it was a fling becasue Ezra got a little loud when he spoke of his oh-so-amazing Alison.

"Ye-actually no. Thank you." I had a breif moment of geniusness. I grabbed my coat off of the seat and slid out of the bar, picking up the cash Ezra left on the table and replaced it with a 10. I slid the 20 in my pocket and bounced out of the door, the chill of winter hitting me in the face. I pulled my phone out of my black purse, scrolling through the contacts before hovering over Spencer's name.

I never intended to go against what Alison told me, but technically I wasn't. She said not to tell him about his past...she never said anything about showing him, or helping him remember.

I hesitated calling, I knew it could cost me ever seeing Ezra again, and I didn't even understand why I was doing it. My conscience was telling me I shouldn't, but everything else in me told me that I should do it. I suppressed a sigh before sliding my phone back into my purse. But I pulled it back out and wrote a message to Hardy instead.

All I had was hope in the word eventually.

Hardy

Spencer walked in front of me, I watched her walking in awe, her black jeans and grey boots matched perfectly with her dark green Oregon Ducks sweatshirt. She stopped in her tracks as she pressed her nose up against the glass of a new boutique.

"Hardy..Pleeeease!" She turned to me and whined. She poked out her bottom lip in an attempt at a pupppy dog face that worked. I let out a guttural 'Ugh' and followed her inside. I eyed the clothes, they looked so complicated to put on, let alone take off, and that was all I was worried about. I sat in the corner of the store, watching Spencer look at other things that weren't me. I admired everything she did and everything she was. My phone buzzed in my jacket pocket.

Dinner tonight? I'm kind of tired of take out. How does Mexican sound? If you two aren't busy of course. I want to talk.

P.S. If you see Ezra, which I'm guaranteeing you will, offer him the apartment. Please. And don't let Spencer talk you out of it. I have an idea. -Aria

"Spence?" Her head popped up from the price tag she was inspecting. Her frown turned into a smile and she walked over to me. "Aria wants to know if we're up for dinner?" Her smile faltered in confusion.

"Really?" I nodded, her eyes widened. "She hasn't talked to me since we got home from LA, and all she said was 'thanks for the adventure!' Tell her yes. Something obviously happened with Ezra. Only, I'm not in the mood for takeout." She pouted.

"Mexican?" She smiled and nodded.

"Let's get out of here. They want $175 dollars for a pair of Oxfords." We made our way out and continued with her shopping spree, Spencer had changed since high school, she used to not really be a shopaholic - but now it was a hobby. She and Hanna could buy out an entire store.

As we continued down the street I saw a curly headed man walking straight towards us, his head was bowed down, in what looked like..sadness? He could feel me watching him as he looked up.

"Hardy!" He smiled. Spencer frowned and crossed her arms, trying to protect Aria.

"Hey, Ezra! What are you doing in Rosewood? Family trip?" I gave him a hug and saw his smile tug into a frown.

"Uh, no," He scratched the back of his head and cleared his throat awkwardly. "I was meeting with someone up here. Alison and I..aren't really..what we used to be." Double meaning. He and Alison were fighting so he left to meet Aria. I felt like I had the mind of my dearest Spencer Hastings.

"Oh, well...do you have somewhere to stay?" Spencer looked up at me, shaking her head furiously. I ignored her and stared back at Ezra. He scrached the back of his head again.

"Just a hotel not far from here." I smiled. It was perfect.

"I have an empty apartment you could stay in until you decide to go home. Free of charge. It's just around the corner." I held up my eyes proudly.

Before Ezra moved, Aria gave me the keys to his apartment just because she couldn't stand to be in there and clean it all up. It was just as he had left it, I stayed there for a few night and put all of the blankets back on the bed. I didn't know what they could've done in there. Other than my few days there, I kept it in hopes someday he'd come back.

"Yeah, sure. Thanks Hardy." I waved my hand at him.

"Don't mention it. Come on." We walked a block or two down to the apartment complex stopping and having Ms. Rosenthal buzz us up. We walked up all of the stairs and made our way to 3B. I opened the door and motioned Spencer and Ezra in. He looked around in amazement. Spencer had her eyes narrowed at me from the moment I mentioned the apartment.

"Wow. It's just..wow."

"You're welcome." He set his keys on the counter but paused as he studied the material. I wasn't sure what was happening, but he just stared. I looked down at Spencer, her eyebrows now joined in the judgmental stare she was giving Ezra.

"You okay, man?" I asked.

"What? Oh, yeah! Perfectly fine. Thanks again. I'll see you again soon, right?" He dazzled us with his smile and we both nodded slowly as we made our way to the door.

I didn't know what just happened, but Ezra knew something. He remembered something.

A/N:

please roast these shitty writing skills its honestly so dumb wyd 8th grade skyler