April 10, 2987,
Weather: TOO BRIGHT DAMMIT
Mood: thoughtful
Music: The Flaming Lips - Yoshimi Fights the Pink Robots Pts. 1 & 2

Dear Diary,

So I had to go to Mungey's office hours. It was just a grammar thing I didn't understand; no big deal. But then we had the most fascinating conversation.

He can kinda speak the Old Tongue of the Vampires, the language Josephine taught me by telepathy one night when we were lovers-one of only two nights when we were. I was a little startled to hear it spoken. I thought I destroyed the second-to-last speaker a long time ago... I mean, technically that person killed me at the same time, so really there weren't supposed to be any living speakers at all.

But he says it's called "Romanian," a Europan language from before the War. Europa, by the way, is a continent in another world. It was apparently very important back then. The way they talk about it, I can't tell whether it's on another planet or in another group of continents somewhere beyond the Encircling Sea. I thought there were basically two continents back then, surrounded by the Sea and joined by a bridge called "Central" that got bombed out of existence at about the same time as the waters rose. Apparently that was just part of a much bigger planet.

(Sometimes they say Europa was in "the Old World," which is what most people call the world before the War, so that's confusing as fupp.)

But the great thing about this place, college I mean, is that I learn something every day. What did the guy say in that old sci-fi movie? "The sleeper must awaken." I feel like I'm constantly being woken up.

I just wish I'd get more mature in the process. Keep striving, Dad once said. At this rate I'll be striving forever, getting better but not getting to my destination...

So anyways, we talked for an hour. Mungey's crazy as butts, but I like him.

So I jokingly asked Melissa to the ball...

Hoo boy...

Never do that.

I'd even known that that was a rule. I get mad when people yank me around like that. Fuck.

So, um, Marcie: Like, don't play with girls' feelings, girl.

Well, she took it as pathetic instead of humorous. She has the "popular girl" thing, alright. I guess I've had it too. She instantly agreed to go with me out of pity, while mentioning all the time how she has a boyfriend, and then she wouldn't let me talk my way out of it. Everything I said was just further proof to her of how desperate I was, how much I needed to be seen with her to salvage my social life.

I could have disillusioned her bad. I could have told her she's not all that and that I really don't need her, but I have to live with her in this cramped room for the rest of the semester, except for nights spent at the garrison. So I'm goddamn stuck taking out this girl to a ball that only happens once a semester, one I wanted to take someone else to.

"It's important to balance your caloric intake with your level of activity. Look what your species normally eats, and look at the normal diet for your species. If you're a... a hamster... I think we've got some hamsters here...

"One thing you should do is you should wear condoms. Another thing you should do is you should look the normal diet of hamsters and the normal level of activity that hamsters do every day. If you're twice as active -bloody unlikely- then you might get away with eating a little more than other hamsters. If you're half as active as a normal one, you should eat somewhat less."

Later, "And again, balancing the seven basic food groups is important. Like wearing condoms is important."

Not only is that awkward as hell, just think about it for a second: never once was it "make your boyfriend wear condoms." That just kills me. It's the thirtieth century! Wasn't this how the last World War started?

Thank glob I'm a genetic mule with no possibility of children... right?

Well, I rented a carpet after health class. A flying carpet. I drove it all the way back home to the cave for supplies, under cover of darkness. I flew it up to the edge of space so I could make it in an hour and a half, which made me sad, thinking about how I used to be able to fly this high without a vehicle. Up here there's not a lot of air, which is fine by me, and the stars are bright, in a way that oddly doesn't hurt or burn my skin. The world below looks beautiful with that perpetual storm system over Northwest Ooo and the lines of ice clouds like leylines across the face of the planet. I can just see the edge of the giant chunk.

I feel pretty alright up here; in altitude, I'm as high as anyone's been since the old days, but I don't know if I'm exactly high in the emotional sense. I'm pretty good, I guess.

But Sir Sue flies a rickety little military courier plane from a thousand years ago that can hardly get up two-and-a-half miles in the air, and she describes it like it's nirvana.

I must be a rather sad person in the grand scheme.

It's wonderful to be back at the cave, even just for an hour. In my closet here, I have this wonderful suit, a real tuxedo but with a feminine flair and perfectly tailored for me. I also have a flowing jet black dress with real carved obsidian up the bodice. Either would be perfect for that dance.

Glob, more hard choices! I need to just go find a coin...

Author's note:

Well, folks, Marie here: I'm at a point of decision. I have two versions of the following story-line planned out in my head, and I don't want to choose until I get some feedback from you.

The first one, the one that I'd rather do, is dark as hell. I'm in a dark and slightly gothy mood this month, and I revised my outline heavily last night to arrive at this new plotline. It's a little inspired by the Amber series I've been reading, and also by some old horror films. Basically, if I write this story-line, things are going to get a lot worse for Marcy before they get any better. There will be more deaths, a bit of rather visceral horror that might be a bit much for some people, and I'm going to make good on a recent piece of innocent foreshadowing that I wasn't really going to run with before. There would still be just as much humor and awkward college romance and just as many light moments, but Marcy will go some dark places, and not all of them will be in her head like before.

The second plotline is the original, which I had planned before last night: the broad strokes are the same, but the violence is going to be less personal to Marceline, the horror will be toned down, and there will probably be fewer deaths. I don't think it'll be as satisfying, because if you don't fall as far you don't have as far to climb, but I'm willing to do it if that's what most people want.

I don't want to alienate my regular audience if they're not down for horror and a little darkness. I want to hear from you, either in review form or by PM. What are you down for? I'm not going to decide right away, no matter what, and if things get really dark and people start disliking it, I'll start steering back in the lighter, fluffier direction. I'd just like to hear from you now so I can possibly start doing a little foreshadowing in the next few chapters here.

Thanks for reading, and tons of love,
Marie Stanton