3rd Person POV:
The Wedding had been very English, nothing of the customs Jamie was familiar with had been incorporated. They repeated after the officiant and then were told to kiss.
Jamie was pleased to be leaving with his life and most pleased to have his Sassenach on his arm but something felt empty about the whole thing... incomplete.
A few miles out Dougal stopped the party and gathered everyone around to discuss matters now that he was confident it had not been a trick, allowing Jamie to leave.
"I think we can all agree what took place up there was nay anythin we can count as a proper marriage, Ned and I had to swear my brither's name to work around the bans and I shall not be makin a fool of him or a liar of us, so before we return to Leoch ye'll be properly married, and it'll be properly consummated so there can be no doubt to the legality of this... union," That last word being said with some frustration, him still not fully trusting the lass.
Claire felt sick about having to truly become someone's wife again so soon but Jamie was relieved and very happy to hear Claire would become his bride proper.
Jamie POV:
Claire had been skittish around me since Dougal gave his orders, I had hoped she felt more fer me that she might be happy ta truly become meh wife, perhaps it was just pity she felt that brought her all this way ta spare meh life.
I only hope she could grow ta love me as I found I already did her.
Dougal was a smart man and easily picked up some resistance coming from Claire and was quick to remind me what had to be done sending Ned to go over how quickly and transparently I must bed her.
"The marriage must be consummated right away and witnesses must swear that they were present in the building if not in the room itself."
I didn't like how we kept having to get married fer other people, first the British now the clan, I wanted us to get married fer no one but each other.
"Might we not give her more time to adjust ta me an the marriage before that must be done." I asked hoping I could spare her some uncomfortableness and embarrassment as surly the men would be crass about the whole matter.
"She has no say in such things," Dougal interrupted rather forcefully,
"I thought you didn't want with rape?"
"No rape. Persuasion. She's a smart lass. She'll see the reason for it in the end, but there can be no secret agreements between the two of ya, you... saying that you have when you have not. Besides, I can think of worse things in my lifetime than holding onto that pair of sweet chiche, plunging my cock..."
"Yeah, enough! thats meh wife yer talking about!"
"Not yet she isn't"
"Tay me she is and I'll thank you to stop talking and thinking of her like some common whore." I warned Dougal ready to kill meh own uncle if he kept disrespecting her so.
I asked Murtaugh to help find a kilt fer me ta wear with Fraser colors while Angus and Rupert saw the blacksmith to fashion Claire a wedding ring from the key to Lallybrook.
While the lads were busy I determined to seek out meh bride ta try and calm whatever nerves she was havin.
I found her by a stream staring off,
"Are ye alright Mistress Beauchamp?"
"You won't be able to call me that for much longer." She said somewhat sadly and it stabbed me like a knife ta hear she was na proud and excited to bare my name.
"I dinna want ye ta feel ye have no choice in this matter, if it was not fer my Uncles... Colum in particular, I would sooner walk back to the garrison then see ye forced into anything you dinna want."
She turned to look at meh sadly, "It's not that Jamie, I think you know I have feelings for you, and part of me can see us being very happy together..."
"Then what is it thats worryin ye?" I asked desperate to fix it, ta fix it fer her... fer us.
"Does it not bother you that I've done this before?" She asked and I thought about it, aye it was true I hated that another man had known her but I hated more that he had hurt her and meh happiness that it would be my duty and honor to see that never happened again eclipsed any feelings of jealousy.
"No, it does not bother me that ye've had a husband before or that yer not a virgin... as long as I'm the last husband ye'll ever have, ever want, and that it does na bother you that I am... a virgin that is."
She looked up at me shocked at that last bit making me feel self conscious over my lack of experience pleasin' a woman, I could feel the heat rising to my face... spreading to my ears.
Claire POV:
He was a virgin? The thought never occurred to me, I had been too occupied by my own thoughts and worries about our union I never contemplated what all of this meant to him.
He was acting like he loved me even if he hadn't said it explicitly, did he really tho? I wondered if he did or was it just lust and the excitement of bedding me, of bedding anyone, that he had confused the emotion with?
Soon the men were back and we had been separated to later meet at the church, there was more I wish I could talk to him about before this was all finalized but I suppose there would have to be time for that later.
Before I knew it I was dressed up and waiting outside a church, it was surreal, I barely felt I had control over my limbs.
But then I saw him, I saw Jamie step out of the church coming towards me and the way he looked at me, like I light up his whole world, no one had ever looked at me that way before and for this first time in my life I think I was able to get out of my own head and just feel... trust... that perhaps this man was always meant to be my husband.
3rd Person POV:
Claire stood outside the church, having an out of body experience...
'How did I get here?' she thought to herself, standing in another wedding gown about to marry a man she hardly knew, and this time there would be no pretending it was just for show.
She knew this was real, that Jamie was good and earnest and would genuinely try his hardest to make their marriage a good one. Could she say the same tho?
She was hiding so much from him, she felt like a fraud, like Frank even... lying to the one who was willing to freely give his heart while she was hiding hers.
She couldn't do it, she couldn't go through with this... not without having a real talk with Jamie first.
Jamie emerged from the church, his hair seemed to ignite under the sun it glowed so brightly. She felt her heart flutter at the sight of him, he was a beautiful man, she didn't feel she really deserved someone so good.
She felt flooded with guilt at the thought of ignoring her conscious and walking towards him without confessing her truths. She knew he deserved that from her, and she owed it to herself as well, otherwise, she'd be signing on to another marriage that might be doomed from the beginning.
"I can't do this, there is something we need to talk about before we walk in there." She blurted out to Jamie before she lost the nerve.
Jamie seemed unsure and looked around at the men surrounding them, weighing the need to take care of Claire even if it meant sacrificing some of his pride.
To him Claire was already his wife through the English ceremony, he desperately wanted the Scottish wedding as well for his sense of country, family, and tradition, but he knew given the choice between Claire and anything else, he would choose Claire, he had already sworn himself to her.
Despite disapproving grunts from Murtaugh and a look meant to kill from Dougal, he took Claire off by some trees a little walk away from the church for a talk.
Securing as much privacy as he could he turned to Claire, "what is it, lass?"
Claire looked down sucking in a deep breath...
"My last marriage, it wasn't good... I didn't really know who he was when we married, he hid his true self away from me and I don't... I can not do that to you."
Jamie caressed her cheek with his palm, "Sorcha, you are not him, this is just some wedding nerves nothing to frash over."
"Randall," She chocked out, Jamie made a confused face not following what she meant by uttering that bastards name today of all days,
Her eyes filled with tears but she forced herself to look at Jamie, "My husband... his name was Frank Randall."
Jamie dropped his hand from her, his face losing all color.
"I'm so sorry Jamie, I don't want to hurt you but keeping something so large from you felt too close to lying and I don't want there to be lies between us, I don't want that kind of marriage again. I swear to you I am not a spy and I would die before hurting you or your kin but my husband was a relative to the man who hurt you, your sister. I understand if you can't look at me the same and no longer want to go through with this."
Jamie had turned his back to her and was supporting himself against a tree, reeling from Claire's revelation.
How was he meant to process something so huge moments before his wedding, he wanted to be mad at Claire for telling him but he understood why she did it and even respected her for it. But the idea she had lain with a Randall turned his stomach, he couldn't deny that and he was afraid if he did turn around he would look at her differently.
He heard the crunch of leaves as Claire approached, she gently laid a hand on his shoulder, "Jamie please... say something."
Jamie closed his eyes and slowly turned towards her, he held his breath as he blinked open his eyes afraid everything he felt for Claire previously might have disappeared in those few moments he had turned his back to her.
When she came into focus, the first thing he saw was the pain in her eyes, and immediately he knew... it didn't matter, it didn't matter who came before him, just like her Englishness didn't matter a damn to him, she was his and he would protect her and love her for the rest of his life.
She was his sassenach wife, and it was time to wed her propper.
"Thank you for telling me, that could not have been easy for you."
Claire dropped her head expecting him to dismiss her and dissolve their union.
She felt him move closer to him and steeled herself for the rejection she surely felt was coming.
"James Alexander Mackenzie Frasher," She looked up to see his hand extended, "you were brave enough to trust me with your real name, Claire... Randall, thought it was only right you have mine."
"My name is Beauchamp... before I was married, I didn't lie about that."
"Well, then Ms. Beauchamp, shall we walk back to our wedding, I think we might be making our guests a little nervous."
Claire was stunned, "you still want to..."
"Aye, I do. I understand we dinna know all about each other but I agree with you, there might be room for secrets but let us promise no lies in this marriage,"
Claire nodded in agreement,
"One more thing before we return Sorcha, you can never tell anyone what you have told me here. Do you understand?"
"Yes,"
"Then let us be wed."
Claire POV:
There was very little I understood about our actual ceremony, most was in Latin or Gaelic but the parts in English:
"I, James Alexander Malcolm Mackenzie Fraser take, thee, Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp, to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forth, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health... till death us do part."
I'll remember those parts, how I felt hearing them, saying them...
"I, Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp take, thee, James Alexander Malcolm Mackenzie Fraser to be my wedded husband. To have and to hold from this day... in sickness and in health... till death us do part."
I'll remember those parts for as long as I'll live. We'll that and the slitting of my wrist, that was quite the shock.
I asked Jamie what the Gaelic bits had meant later during our wedding night and it nearly moved me to tears:
"You are blood of my blood and bone of my bone. I give you my body that we two may be one. I give you my spirit... till our life shall be done."
"You may kiss yer bride."
And the moment our lips touched in that church, I felt something shift inside of me, even though I'd time-traveled I was still very rooted in science and facts, what could be proven, but the sensation that went through my body at that exact moment... I think that's as close to believing in magic as I will get.