[Summary: Souji won't let go of Yosuke's hand.]

[Author's notes: spoilers for the true ending!]

Day 12 - Holding Hands

Yosuke waited after school at the Yaso-Inaba station. Tomorrow was the first day of Golden Week, and Souji was returning to Inaba this evening for the short holiday. He'd only been away for about a month and a half, but to Yosuke it'd felt like twice as long. He really missed his boyfriend.

He waited alone—he'd planned it that way. He wanted to be the first to see Souji. Maybe it was a little selfish, but everyone would see him tomorrow. Yosuke reasoned that he should get some time alone with Souji since they were dating and all.

After a long wait, a boarding announcement blared out over the speakers. Yosuke blinked up from where he'd been messing with his phone to find the train pulling up. The doors opened and a single passenger came out. Souji was wearing his casual winter clothes, the one with the black jacket. He carried a duffel bag under his arm, probably full of his clothes for the holiday. He looked around and his expression brightened when he saw Yosuke waiting for him.

Yosuke wasted no time in pulling him into a big hug.

Souji hummed softly against his shoulder. "Missed you," he said.

"Yeah, I missed you too," Yosuke said, patting him on the back in the hug.

When they separated, Yosuke found that Souji had taken hold of his right hand with his left. He felt Souji's playfully thumb caress the side of his hand. Souji's hand was softer than he remembered, with fewer callouses now that they weren't fighting in the TV World. Some of those scars would always be there, though.

"What do you want to do?" Souji asked, squeezing his hand.

"Well, we should probably drop your bag off at Dojima's, right?"

Souji shrugged. Yosuke felt it all the way through his arm since their hands were linked. "I can carry it. Maybe we can go eat?"

They headed to Aiya's, for although the big city had plenty of ramen joints, none of them had a meat generator. Souji sat on a stool at the bar. He didn't let go of Yosuke's hand, though, so Yosuke was forced to sit at his left. Yosuke didn't mind. It was reassuring, having him there in his hand, knowing that Souji wanted to touch him. The distance had been hard on both of them, after all.

You were supposed to use chopsticks in your right hand, though. When the bowls of steaming ramen arrived, he tried to pull his hand back, but Souji wouldn't let go. "Uh, partner?"

"Yeah?"

Yosuke tugged his hand. "Can you let go so I can eat?"

Souji glanced down at their hands. "Oh," he said, as if the idea didn't appeal to him at all. There was a long pause. Then his expression suddenly brightened. "Maybe I can feed you?"

"Uhh..." Yosuke began, but Souji was already bringing his free hand over and sticking his chopsticks into Yosuke's ramen bowl. It was a little embarrassing—Yosuke caught Aika-chan raising an eyebrow at him behind the bar—but he couldn't refuse his boyfriend.

"Do you want the tofu?" Souji asked.

"You already know the answer to that," Yosuke said. With an impish little smile, Souji grabbed Yosuke's tofu in the chopsticks and ate it himself.

"How about the egg?"

"I'll take that," Yosuke said, and soon Souji told him to open wide and half of a boiled egg was coming right for his mouth.

Eating the noodles required some coordination. Souji had to hold up the noodles and Yosuke had to angle his mouth just right for him to get them in. The ramen juice ended up running down his chin. Souji dabbed his chin with a napkin, which was even more embarrassing, but Yosuke reasoned it was a small price to pay to keep Souji happy.

At one point, Souji put the empty tips of the chopsticks right in Yosuke's mouth, pressing them against his tongue. Puzzled, Yosuke tried to say something, but then Souji leaned in for a surprise kiss.

"S-Souji!" Yosuke protested. Behind the bar, Aika-chan was raising her other eyebrow at him.

"Missed you," Souji said.

Yosuke mumbled something incoherent, his cheeks pinker than the spirals in the naruto.

As usual, neither of them could finish their meat-heavy meal. "I'll pay," Yosuke said, but when he made to pull his hand towards the pocket with his wallet, still Souji refused to let go.

Instead, Souji shook his head and took out his own wallet. "It's all right."

Yosuke decided not to fight it. Besides, it was really amusing to see him try and get his money out of his wallet with one hand.

"Is this some sort of challenge?" Yosuke asked when they left the shop.

"Hmm?"

"This," Yosuke said. He tugged on their interlocked hands.

"Oh," Souji said. "I just want to hold your hand. Is that a problem?"

When he put it that way, of course Yosuke couldn't refuse. With a mental shrug he just left it at that. Hand in hand, they walked down the shopping district, talking about whatever came to mind. After a bit, Yosuke figured that it had to be tiring for Souji to carry the duffel bag over his other arm, so he suggested they head to the Dojima residence.

When they arrived, Souji rang the doorbell. Nanako answered. "Big bro!" she squealed. She tackled him in a hug, not unlike Yosuke at the train station. Yosuke patted her on the head with his free hand since Souji couldn't.

Inside, Souji dropped the duffel bag right there in the entryway. Yosuke gave him an odd look, but supposed he could bring it upstairs to his room later. He and Souji slipped off their shoes, though it felt really weird not to have his hand free to steady himself. He leaned against Souji instead.

They followed Nanako into the living room, where they sat at the low table. She excitedly told Souji about everything he'd missed since he'd left. It was absolutely adorable to see how intently Souji listened to her. He was such a good big bro.

"And the big cat outside is a mommy now!" Nanako said. "Dad won't let me have a kitty, but... Don't tell him that I give the mommy cat milk every morning!"

"I'm sure she thanks you, Nanako," Souji said. "And her kittens too."

"Did you name any of the kittens, Nanako-chan?" Yosuke asked.

Nanako looked away, blushing. "W-well, there's... Princess, and Kitty-chan, and Blackie..."

"I think Dojima-san is going to have a problem," Yosuke said, nudging Souji. "She adopted them anyway."

"Good job, Nanako," Souji said, completely serious.

She beamed up at him with the force of several suns. If she used that grin on her dad, Yosuke thought, there was no way he could refuse her anything. And definitely not a pet!

They talked about a bunch of other things after that. Nanako's classmates, one of her school projects, the family plans for Golden Week...

Eventually, she asked, "Big bro?" in a subdued voice.

"Hmm?" Souji asked. "What's the matter?"

"You really like him, huh?" Nanako was pointing to their hands. "You haven't let go all this time."

Souji looked down at their hands as if seeing them for the first time. He lifted them up and appraised them. "I guess so," he said, giving Yosuke a somewhat sad smile.

"You missed him..." Nanako said. "Big bro, that's cute!"

"N-Nanako-chan!" Embarrassed, Yosuke reflexively tried to pull his hand away. Souji didn't let go, and as a result he was pulled right into him. Souji pretended that he intended that and took the opportunity to settle into his lap. "S-Souji!" Yosuke scolded.

"That's even more cute," Nanako said, blushing about as deeply as Yosuke.

"Imagine if Dojima-san came in right now," Yosuke said. "what would he think?"

"That we should be in my room for this," Souji murmured so that only Yosuke could hear. "Nanako-chan," he said aloud, "is it all right if we go upstairs for a bit? I have to unpack."

She nodded at them. Souji dragged Yosuke to the entryway, where Souji awkwardly picked up the duffel bag in his free hand, and then tugged him upstairs and into his room. He dropped the bag unceremoniously onto his work table and sat on the couch, pulling Yosuke down next to him.

They sat there for a bit, enjoying a quiet moment with each other's company. It was obvious to Yosuke that Souji needed some time to process the fact that he was back home in Inaba, even if only for a few days.

By now, though, Yosuke's hand was sweaty and cramped from being held so long. It wasn't comfortable at all for him anymore, and he suspected it wasn't much better for Souji. Besides that, his leg was starting to bounce. Something urgent was demanding his attention. "Hey, uh, partner?" he asked, breaking the quiet.

Souji blinked out of his daydream. "Yosuke?"

"Could you let go? Sorry, I've really gotta go."

Souji glanced down at their hands. He didn't let go, and his expression could only be described as reluctant. He met Yosuke's eyes with a desperate look. "Maybe I could…" he began.

"Look," Yosuke said frankly, "I know we're a couple, but I don't really need you to hold my hand when I take a leak."

"S-sorry," Souji said. "You're right."

He let go of Yosuke's hand then. Yosuke took it back and rubbed it. Souji hadn't held it too tightly or anything, but it was a little red just from the constant pressure on it. It was nice for it to finally breathe. "I'll be right back," Yosuke said.

"Y-yeah..."

He went to the bathroom, trying not to imagine what it might be like to have Souji hold his hand while he peed. It felt like a forbidden thought, so he quickly pushed it out of his head while he took care of his business. Soon he was washing his hands at the sink. He dried them with a towel, feeling good about how clean his hands felt now.

When he came back to the room, it looked like Souji hadn't moved. His duffel bag was still sitting there on the table. Souji was staring up at the ceiling. When he noticed Yosuke was back, he held out his hand expectantly.

Without thinking, Yosuke reached out, but when their fingers touched, Yosuke pulled his hand back, and Souji's hand closed on air.

"Souji," Yosuke said, trying to ignore the crushing disappointment now present on his boyfriend's face. "What is going on?"

Souji opened his mouth, but no words came out. He looked like he was about to cry. Worried, Yosuke sat down next to him and put an arm around him, drawing him close.

"Sorry partner," Yosuke murmured. "I like it, I really do, but... moderation."

"Yosuke," Souji said, choking up. "I keep having nightmares. That I'm going to lose you."

Yosuke stared at him, then saw that he was shaking and pulled him into a hug, cradling his head against his chest. "Souji, geez... I had no idea. It's all right. I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere."

"Do you remember Izanami?" Souji asked quietly.

Yosuke didn't want to remember. That terrible visage, the stench of rotting flesh, and the casual indifference to their fate...

"I keep thinking of how she pulled you down into Yomi," Souji said.

"Ah," Yosuke said, not knowing what to say. They never did talk about that experience. Even if they'd wanted to, there'd been no time. The next day Souji was already leaving Inaba.

"S-scared," Souji said. "I was so scared... of losing all of you. I knew you all followed me because I was the leader, but... I wasn't ready for that responsibility."

"I don't think anything could have prepared you for that."

"Probably not," Souji admitted. "I was so scared, but worse might've been how angry it'd made me."

"Like a 'how dare you touch my friends'?" Yosuke said. "You got that way sometimes when we were fighting regular Shadows. Your Personas... definitely got more and more powerful as time went on. And frightening, not going to lie."

"I don't usually get angry," Souji murmured.

"You're the calmest dude I know," Yosuke agreed. "It's a good thing, because... you know, I'm not so calm. Makes us a good pair."

"Yeah," Souji said.

He sat up now, breaking from Yosuke's hug so that they could face each other. He reached up to Yosuke's face to brush away some stray hair, then let his hands drop along with his gaze. He sighed. "The way Izanami had pulled you down like that. I... I keep thinking... what if I could've pulled you back out?"

"With your own hands?" Yosuke guessed.

Souji nodded.

"Dude," Yosuke said. "It's okay. You did pull us back. I don't know how you did it—I probably don't want to know—but I'm here. That's proof enough."

Souji lifted his head. His eyes looked so vulnerable. Yosuke couldn't help but put his arms around him again.

"We're all okay," Yosuke said. He gave Souji a quick kiss. "Moving away probably hasn't helped, huh? You haven't been able to see us, to see the proof that we're okay."

"Yeah..."

"You'll see everyone tomorrow," Yosuke said. "I promise, we're all fine."

"I know," Souji said. "And Nanako's fine too, but..."

At his heavy sigh, Yosuke took his hands and held them in his own. "If you want to hold my hand a little longer, then... it's all right. Heck, you can hold both of them."

"Thanks, Yosuke."

'A little longer' turned into 'the rest of the night', but Souji's grateful smile made it worth enduring sweaty hands.