Author's Note: This chapter has honestly been agonizing for me to write, and for some reason almost impossible to revise. I WILL change this chapter if I need to, and I'm not moving on until I am satisfied with it. Consider yourselves all Beta readers. -and consider yourselves warned...

Then the fight

Sharp words splintering the night

How I couldn't be what you need,

But oh how I could make you bleed!

-Vienna Teng, Antebellum

Ch. 14 – Words that Splinter

"I, uh…" Helena started at last, turning toward Zoro with some trepidation. "I actually kind of enjoyed that. Thanks, I think…"

Zoro allowed himself a smirk, but it quickly faded. He could see the wheels turning in her head; the queen in her contemplating war, the woman in her not sure how to feel about his untimely return.

"Look," he said, his voice calmer than he felt. "I know you didn't want me to come back. There's something I need to know though, and then I'll get out of your hair."

"Wait, Zoro, I didn't meant to…"

"For good," he added with strained patience. "I'll leave you alone for good, Helena. You don't have to worry about me coming back here ever again."

"Zoro…" Helena said gently. She removed her two-toned mask, and he saw how tired she was. "I'm sorry I didn't believe you. The gods have been…tricksome of late. To be honest, I can't tell you how relieved I am that you're..."

She was using her diplomacy voice on him.

"You don't have to pretend, Helena." His tone remained calm, but he cut her off impatiently, then went on in a pained rush: "I know about the other guy. And honestly, I think he's better for you. You've got my blessing, so…"

"Other guy?" she asked, then had the nerve to laugh. "Not you, too! Zoro, that's just a rumor. I don't have a lover, alright?"

The image of her in Calypso's arms flashed through his mind's eye. The way he'd talked to her, fought her, danced with her; nothing about it had been innocent. The way they'd kissed, the way he'd held her, the way his hands had wandered; it had been a full on seduction, and she'd allowed herself to be seduced.

"Liar!" Zoro spat, his voice rising at last to match his emotion.

Her mouth fell open in shock. "What did you call me?" she breathed, narrowing her eyes at him as though unsure what to make of him.

He saw her pull the other guy closer; saw her long fingers laced in his hair; saw the salacious way she had kissed him back. Zoro had walked away, but it was obvious where it was leading. It was even more obvious that she had wanted it.

"I called you a liar, Helena," he enunciated, anger sharpening every syllable.

It was one thing for her to take on a lover in the wake of his ambiguous death, but it was another thing entirely for her to lie to him about it. Her integrity had always been something he'd admired about her; what happened to the woman who would give up her freedom, her kingdom, even her life rather than break her word?

"I wouldn't lie to you!" Helena's crestfallen expression might have twinged his conscience if he didn't have a loud, fuming tempest brewing inside him. The lies hurt all the worse coming from a face he had loved. – a face that even now he couldn't help but find beautiful, which made him hate it more than he'd ever hated anything.

"And I thought," she went on vulnerably, with the gall to have tears forming in her eyes. "I thought you of all people would have known that I'd never do something like that."

Not just lying, but trying to manipulate him too! He was a fool for ever trusting her in the first place. He had given her a power over him he never should have given to anyone.

"That's enough," he told her, his fist shaking at his side. He tried to take a deep breath, but his lungs had constricted somehow.

"But I didn't…!" Helena defended.

"Stop, Helena!" he warned. She needed to stop talking. Now.

"Zoro, I swear to you I don't…"

"I SAID ENOUGH!" He roared, and his hand came up almost on its own as though he would strike her across her lying, cheating mouth. She flinched, but she made no move to stop him, too shocked to defend herself.

His anger abandoned him, leaving him horrified as he and Helena stared at his uplifted hand, and then at each other. He stepped away from her, clutching his hand by the wrist as though to stop it from acting on its own.

Though he hadn't actually struck her, by the look on her face he may as well have. The conversation was effectively over. Helena walked by him without so much as a sidelong glance.

"Nysa," Helena called to the servant, who scurried over to her silently. "Please prepare two rooms for our guests tonight."

The Queen made to walk away, but Cygnus blocked her path, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Helena, he is your husband!" he scolded. "You insult him by putting him in a different room."

Helena and Zoro both stared at him in disbelief. Had he not seen what had just transpired?

"Work it out," Cygnus growled.

"It's alright, Cygnus," Zoro interjected. "It's someone else's bed now, anyway."

Helena's back stiffened, and Cygnus looked at him almost as if he'd never seen him before.

"Look, I won't even stay here in the palace tonight," Zoro went on quietly, though he had an intensity in his voice as he continued: "I came here because I want to know what happened to my son."

Helena turned to look at him over her shoulder, her angry gaze meeting his. "Our son is dead," she told him, her voice harsh with emotion. "You killed him."

Cygnus – along with everyone in the throne room, really – watched in silence as Helena swept out of the hall. –Such a public display for two generally private people. The King sighed, then turned and started giving orders in the Queen's place. – clean up and the like. A busy hum filled the hall, but did nothing to lift the heavy gloom.

Amidst the chaos, Zoro hadn't moved except to remove his mask. He stared after Helena, looking about as lost as he did when he tried to navigate a city street, but without the usual unmerited self-confidence.

Cygnus marched up to him, the only shred of sympathy he had for the man he spent on not pinching the stupid bastard into oblivion.

"You, stay here," Cygnus commanded him angrily. He turned to Perona, who looked like Halloween had come early. She had mascara trails running down her face, and wailed loudly about how horrible it all was, but grinned through the process as though she were having the time of her life. Such a strange girl. "You, make sure he doesn't leave the palace."

"Waaaah! That was so romantic and dramatic and sad!" Perona cried, but then saluted, still sniffling. "Don't worry, King Goosey. You can count on me. If he tries to run away I'll just do this! Negative Hollow!"

Cygnus reached out a hand as though he could stop her completely unnecessary demonstration, but he was too late. The ghost passed through Zoro's chest, and Cygnus soon had Perona in an angry toe-pinch-hold for making matters worse, except…

Zoro didn't end up face down wishing he were an earthworm. He just sighed miserably where he stood, looked up at Perona and said: "Wow. I guess now I know how Usopp feels."

Cygnus released Perona, whose eyes had bugged out of her head.

"DON'T YOU DARE SPEAK OF THAT HORRIBLE MAN!" she shrieked, then suddenly regained her composure, "I mean, you poor thing. Come on, let's find you some hot cocoa.– You! Lady with a clipboard. The Queen said there are rooms for us, right? This guy might need to lie down. King Goosey, don't look so surprised. There's nothing more depressing than finding someone so far gone that my hollows can't hollow them. Even I can't stand to see it!"

Cygnus left her to it, and went in search of General Hector. The wooden man was using his powers to create supports for the unstable ceiling.

"I suppose we now have an open air throne room," Cygnus observed to him. "I always thought we could use more natural light in here."

The General didn't look amused.

"That's the least of our worries," he grumbled. "Are you going to go talk some sense into Helena or shall I?"

"I will," Cygnus told him, "You know where you're needed. As Roronoa said; Ilium is at war now. Go to your men and report back to the Queen when you've got an idea of what Regent's next move will be."

"Report to the Queen, sire?" Hector asked incredulously.

"Don't worry, I'll help her get her head back in the game," Cygnus said. "She's resilient, General. You know that."

"She's had to be resilient for a little too long and a little too young if you ask me," he replied. "She is a capable ruler until her personal life spills over; then she destroys temples and causes famines. – and tries to run her husband through with a sword."

"The gossip columns are going to have a field day with this, aren't they?" Cygnus chuckled.

"You really don't sound as worried as you should be," Hector pointed out.

"I've spent all day with her husband, Hector. If anything gives me hope for my daughter right now, it's him."

Hector glanced over where Zoro sat despondently beside a perplexed Perona, who had managed to procure that cocoa she'd mentioned. The swordsman held it unsipped in one hand, staring at nothing. As the General and the King watched, Perona's puzzled expression brightened. She retrieved a bottle of unopened sake from the wreckage around them, and poured it into the hot drink with a satisfied look on her face.

"You sure about that?" Hector asked in bemusement as Zoro still made no move to touch the chocolate. Perona took the mug from him, dumped it out, and filled the whole thing with sake this time, shoving it into his hand in frustration.

"Trust me," Cygnus replied. "I just need to get them to talk to each other. And there's obviously someone the man needs to meet, for both their sakes."

Cygnus found Helena in the first place he looked. It was dark out with no moon, but Cygnus knew that his daughter no longer feared the dark. He had brought a lantern out into the Grove of Kings, knowing she would have brought none in an attempt to conceal herself. Sure enough he found her sitting in her usual spot before Telemachus' tree. With her eyes squeezed shut, she might have been meditating, but the lantern light caught on the small white streams on her cheeks, giving her away.

Cygnus didn't say anything. He simply sat beside her and waited for her to speak.

"I'll be honest. You're the last person I want to talk to right now, Papa," she rasped.

"That's fine," he said. "So long as that means you'll talk to Zoro."

Helena remained in her meditative stance. "He's the least of my problems," she said haughtily. "How am I to explain to the neighboring kingdoms that their sons and heirs are returning home in pinewood boxes? It will mean war, if war isn't already at our doorstep. If he could have waited just one more day to come home, I would have sent all of them packing without further incident…"

"Are you really so certain of that?" Cygnus asked calmly. "They seemed pretty determined."

"You were the one who told me I couldn't kick them out in the first place," Helena pointed out. "You said that..."

"I didn't realize how low they would stoop to get ahead with the World Government. I was wrong, Helena, I'm sorry," he replied softly. And as he rarely apologized for anything, she stared at him for a good long moment before speaking again.

"You could have at least warned me," Helena murmured, turning away. "We could have met less publically. I didn't have time to process…to think…"

"To trust your eyes?" Cygnus asked, then apologized again. Twice in one night. Shocking, he knew: "I'm sorry, Little Swan. I know the gods have tormented you over him, but I didn't realize it had cut you that deeply. I thought you would be pleased. And be honest; it was fun seeing the looks on everyone's faces when he cut through those axes."

Helena didn't smile. "I was too busy wondering how a specter from the gods could manage it," she admitted quietly.

"Did you honestly believe it wasn't him?"

"I…" Helena squeezed her eyes shut hard, but it didn't stop the tears from falling faster and harder. "I didn't want it to be him. I didn't know how to feel, just as I haven't known what to feel whenever I heard a rumor that he could still be alive. It was easier to believe he had died, if only because then…"

"You don't have to say it, Helena…"

"Because then Telemachus' death was justified," Helena finished, then went on, hiding her face: "But now…now my son died for nothing, and I don't think I can stand it."

Cygnus sighed. He placed his arm around her trembling shoulders, which felt kind of awkward for both of them, but kind of nice at the same time. He hadn't been the most affectionate father to her growing up; his degenerative condition after wearing the Mask of Zeus had made it difficult enough running a kingdom without having to deal with a strong-willed child on top of it. Back then, he'd known that Helena had Andromache and Hector to turn to to fill her emotional needs, and it had been enough for him.

But now that he had his strength and health back, he had the privilege to act as her Father.–the privilege and the challenge. Helena had inherited his stubbornness, and when she got an idea in her head it was hard for her to let it go.

"You need to stop blaming yourself, Little Swan," he murmured. "You need to accept that you and Zoro are both human, and that you're both mortal and fallible."

Her expression seemed to ice over. Her tears slowed.

"He almost hit me," she said with a quiet intensity that belayed her indignance.

Cygnus' expression hardened. It would take some time before he'd be able to forgive Zoro for that, but he knew there were more important matters at hand; namely that his daughter needed that rough and tumble pirate if she was ever to heal from their son's death. Anyway, the fact remained that he hadn't hit his daughter, which helped Cygnus move past it for the time being.

"And you almost ran him through with a sword," he pointed out bluntly. "I'd say you're even."

"He called me a liar!" Helena insisted.

"See, that's the part I can't puzzle out," Cygnus told her. "I was with him when he first heard that rumor. He didn't believe it for a second, and firmly defended you. Something must have changed his mind. Do you have any idea what it could be?"

"No!" Helena insisted angrily. "I have stayed true to….Oh…"

"Oh?" Cygnus asked as she straightened out of his embrace, looking horrified.

"No, it doesn't matter," she said dismissively.

"It does, if it means your marriage."

"My marriage is already over. In fact, I'm starting to doubt it ever happened in the first place," Helena growled, "He said he'd leave and not come back, which is fine by me. I never want to see him again."

"You're going to have to," Cygnus informed her. "Helena, it is not fair for you to hit him with the bombshell you just did without sharing with him the one ray of light that has gotten you through all of this."

Helena turned to look at him. "Are you saying what I think you're saying, because if you are, the answer is no."

"He has a right to…"

"If I tell him, he won't want to leave," Helena snapped, then added with malice: "And then what will happen to his precious dream, hm?"

"Helena, that is enough," Cygnus decreed, standing. "You chose this man. You set the challenge, and made your heart the prize. You were prepared to see it through then, and you will see it through now. – and another thing! Why don't you let HIM decide what he wants to do with his dream? He is man enough to know what he wants without you making stupid rules to protect his pride. – or is it your pride you've been protecting all along, hm? After all, he would have chosen the sea and his crew over you in the end, even without your meddling, and that was more than you could handle, wasn't it?"

Helena gaped at him. No one had dared say it to her before, but he'd suspected it from the moment she'd made her provisos to Zoro's captain. Yes, she had loved the man and wanted him to have his freedom, but she wasn't as wholly selfless as she appeared. Anyway, those stupid rules had created this whole mess in the first place.

And as for the Queen's final secret: "So help me, if you do not tell him, I will," Cygnus informed her imperiously. "Throw me in the dungeon or punish me however your queenly heart desires; I will break your decree of silence, not just for his good, but for yours."

He turned to walk away, taking the lantern with him. She surprised him when she spoke before he'd gotten too far:

"Wait."

When he turned, he found her on her feet.

"I'll do it," she said quietly. "I need to prepare him, though. Give us some time alone."

Zoro had never known what it was like to truly dislike himself before now. The gnawing anger and hatred he'd felt toward Helena for lying to him had given way to a self-loathing that went to the very core of his manhood.

For starters, he'd almost struck a woman. –Not just any woman, his wife! It didn't matter what she'd said or done; her actions didn't have the power to turn him into a monster, and yet in his anger he'd practically allowed himself to become one.

He didn't think he would be able to forget the way she'd flinched; the warrioress, the queen, momentarily afraid of being hit by her husband as though she were a common woman. He didn't like seeing her afraid, least of all of him. What had Calypso said? That Helena had a thing with pursuing men who were out to hurt her? Zoro had just proven him right.

Then there was the confirmation he'd received of something he'd begun to suspect: that his son had died because of him. Part of him still wanted to know how it had happened, but then, knowing how wouldn't change that it had, nor his culpability in the matter. In the course of a day he'd discovered not only that he'd been a father, but that he'd failed completely in that role.

He wanted to leave. Desperately. He didn't belong here in Helena's home; in his child's former home. Leaving felt dishonorable, like running away from his problems. But was there anything he could do to make it right?

He managed to escape Perona easily enough. Oh, true to her word, she had dutifully watched over him until he'd been put up in a room for the night. Even then, she might have tried to keep watch outside his door, or maybe in his very room in her ghost form (she was creepy like that), but she was unable to do anything at present because she was lying in a drunken stupor in her own bed the next room over.

Yeah, he'd kind of driven her to drink. —Frustrated at his unwillingness to touch the sake she offered, she'd finished it off for him, and then another bottle, and another. Apparently being sloshed kept her from using her powers.

Zoro made his cautious way through the halls of the palace, avoiding people, keeping to the shadows, trying to find the exit. Soon he found a pair of doors he thought he recognized. He realized why as soon as he opened them.

It was Helena's gym.

Of all the rooms to wander into, it just had to be this one. Where were the guards she usually posted outside? Maybe no one bothered to guard it when she wasn't there. He entered in spite of himself, feeling a solemnity settle over him as though he had entered a temple. Emergency lights cast a hazy glow on her equipment, drawing shadows like memories on the walls.

He remembered the first time he'd walked in here; how she'd spun about the high bars with her long yellow hair whipping in a braid behind her. He remembered sparring with her on her balancing stakes, and making up the kata with her over on the floor mats when Chopper wouldn't let her do any heavy exercise. –There were the weights he'd used when he'd trained with her. Had he been in a different humor, he might have laughed when he recalled how determined she'd been to try and lift as much as he could. It was one of his favorite memories of her.

Come to think of it, she had more weights than he remembered. Well, hadn't she cut through half of those axes earlier that evening? She'd obviously improved her weight training since last he'd been here.

Other things had changed too. She had new equipment, and had moved some things around here or there. Most noticeably her meditation corner, where she used to start and finish her workouts by honoring Athena, had disappeared. In its place stood some sort of miniature wooden building with things to climb on and a tiny slide. A child's playhouse? –How old had their son been when he'd died? For some reason, perhaps because of his dream, he'd assumed the child had been an infant.

"Hector made that within the week he found out I was pregnant. He was so excited…"

Her somber voice behind him made his gut turn a somersault. He got to his feet, standing from the box-jump he didn't remember sitting down on.

"No, please," she said in a rush. "Don't go…at least, not yet. I…wanted to talk to you. There are some things you should know."

He couldn't bring himself to turn to look at her. Then again, he didn't have his mask on, and she didn't want to see his face now, did she? He sat back down.

"I'm listening," he said simply, his nerves on high alert. He wasn't even sure why. It wasn't like she was going to attack him again.

Helena walked toward him; her slow, hesitant footsteps echoed through the quiet gym as her presence weighed heavily behind him. After a pause in which he heard her take in a deep breath, she sat on the box jump with her back up against his. Neither said anything. Leastways, it was her turn to speak, and he wasn't about to break the silence.

"When you disappeared from your room, I thought you'd somehow end up in here," she murmured at last. "We fell in love in this gym, didn't we?"

Zoro didn't say anything. She was stalling.

She sighed heavily, swallowed hard, then went on:

"Before I tell you about our son, I want you to be able to trust me," she said. "Zoro, please hear me out, alright? What I said about my not having a lover is the truth. You are the only man I've ever taken to my bed."

Zoro's jaw clenched inside his mouth. His back must have tensed or something, because she seemed to sense the animosity he fought unsuccessfully to stifle.

"I know you probably have a good reason for not believing me," she told him in a rush, perhaps afraid that he wouldn't let her finish. "Maybe it's because…well… I want you to know I planned on telling you about this when I saw you again; that I never intended to keep secrets from you. I…"

She took a deep breath, then went on speaking faster still, as though saying it faster could somehow make it hurt less, like ripping off a bandage. "I kissed a man in the gardens today. Allowed him to kiss me, rather. Semantics really. – I regretted it as soon as it happened, and I sent him away as soon as I found my head."

Zoro didn't say anything. Again, he saw the way they'd kissed in his mind's eye, but he also recalled how she had tried to stop the man from kissing her at first, remembering her place as a queen.

"I didn't intend to kiss him. I'm not even sure how it happened," her voice trembled, "I had just had news that the world government had lied to me, and that you could still be alive, so I can't even claim that I thought you were dead! – I didn't. In fact, I think there's a part of me that always knew you were alive and that you would return, just as you promised…"

Such a painfully honest confession, it couldn't help but smack of truth.

"I don't want it to sound like an excuse, but it was so far from what I'd ever allow that I suspect…well, I'd just made Aphrodite mad, I think, and I wonder whether she had a hand in it."

There actually was some merit to that. He remembered the goddess' carved marble head rolling in the fountain.

"It doesn't matter. It happened, I let it happen, and I…" she sighed, "Well, sorry doesn't seem to cut it, but it's all I can do. I am truly sorry, Zoro. That man was kind to me when the other suitors were not; he didn't waste my goods, and defended my honor countless times. In a way you could say that his friendship helped me survive these past few years. But he hadn't earned the right to my hand, and he'd told me that he wanted to be my lover not my husband, so his intentions weren't exactly honorable. I told him to leave, and I hope I never see him again."

"I hope that you do," Zoro put in quietly at last, and Helena took in a sharp breath. "He sounds like a better match for you than I ever was, Helena. He knew you longer, defended you longer. You should go back to him."

"But…" Helena rasped.

"You once told me you didn't care if I stayed true to you; that you wanted me to find love. Well, that's what I want for you now, Helena. You need a man who can be there for you; someone who would never hurt you the way I…"

The way I have? The way I almost did? The way I probably will? – how to finish the sentence…

"But I don't love him," Helena blurted out, cutting into his thoughts. There were tears in her voice. "I love you. I always have, and I never stopped, and if you only knew…"

"I killed our son, Helena," Zoro reminded her. There were tears in his voice now too. Maybe not just in his voice.

"I killed our son," Helena confessed bitterly. "It's my fault he's dead."

"But you said…"

"It was mine more than yours, and Hera's most of all," Helena told him.

Zoro blinked away the tears, trying to follow what she was saying. "I don't understand," he told her plainly.

"I think I'd better start from the beginning," she said. She took a deep breath, and began to unfold her tale.