Lest You Enter Like a Little Child

Little Joe took a deep breath as he heard Buck pull up to the Barn and looked out his window to see Pa dismount after a long day. Adam and Hoss were still in the barn doing chores, so they took Pa's horse for him and let him head into the house. Ben was tired, cold, and grateful as he patted his sons on the back and stretched his lower back walking up onto the porch. Little Joe just sighed as he closed up his school books and waited, hearing the front door close behind Pa. He knew better than to leave his room. Pa would be here soon enough. All too soon perhaps, as Joe still hadn't figured out how to explain himself.

Joe heard his parents' voices talking downstairs, and his mother's tones reflecting her irritation and displeasure. Pa, he could tell, didn't say very much, though Joe did catch his voice at one point saying, "Really! He what?" and he knew for sure, as if he hadn't known before, that their discussion was about him. He was so in for it. So, miserably, he just sat on his bed and waited for the sound, at this moment, he dreaded most.

Then there it was, the sound of Pa's booted feet on the staircase, and then the knock on his door.

"Yes, Pa," Joe answered. "Come on in." Even angry, family manners required a closed door be knocked upon before entering. Joe's worst fears were realized as his Pa walked in and closed the door behind him, beginning to remove his belt even before speaking.

"Joseph? The boys are going to stay outside working in the barn until we call them, so we have the house to ourselves at the moment. That's why you and I are not heading to the barn, as cold as it is outside right now. I cannot tell you how disappointed I am at what your mother has told me."

Little Joe had stood when his Pa came in, now standing before the angry man who'd turned to him, belt in hand.

"You've not been hided before now. But Joseph, you were told more than once to take care of that jacket. Your mother and I discussed a great deal whether you were old enough to have a valuable gift, and she felt you were responsible enough to trust that way. You knew that was an important test of your maturity, and it seems in your carelessness that just meant nothing to you. Your mother is very angry, and so am I.

"Now, did you sass your mother about this when you got home?"

Joe shook his head rapidly, "No, sir. I didn't."

Ben tilted his head back a bit. "Did you argue with her at all?"

"No, sir, not at all. Maman asked if I had my jacket or left it at school, I said I did not have it and I didn't know where it was. She then told me to come here and do my homework until you got home, and I have done that."

Ben considered. "All right, wait here a moment..." and he headed out to confer with Marie again.

When he returned, his belt was buckled back through the loops. "All right, son. I thought you'd upset Mama arguing with her, or defying her. Now, where... precisely... is your coat, and why didn't you bring it home as you are supposed to?"

"I don't know precisely, Pa! I think it's where it's supposed to be, but I don't know exactly where it is. I think I did the right thing, Pa. I know I'm in so much trouble, but I really don't know why!" Joseph began to sniffle, then weep. "I feel like I didn't do anything wrong, like this was right, but you're mad at me, and Mama's mad at me, but I don't know why!" Joseph opened his arms out wide and ran over to Ben for a hug as he wept.

Ben was completely flummoxed and confused, but could instantly sense the innocence surrounding Joseph. The little boy might be mistaken as to his blamelessness, but Ben was far too experienced a father to think he was being played. Clearly there was some deep misunderstanding at work here, and whatever Little Joe had done, he didn't mean to be doing wrong.

Ben lifted the boy into his arms and let him cling to him, crying into his shoulder. Ben just comforted him as he walked them over to Joseph's bed sitting down with his son on his lap, comforting him and rocking him to calm down.

"OK, son, let's start again. I'm very confused. Now, why not let's start simply. Where... is the jacket?"

"I don't know, Pa. I gave it away, and I don't know where it is because I don't know where he lives... exactly."

Ben nodded. "I see, now... whom... did you give the jacket to?"

It took Joe a long time to respond, as he mumbled something indecipherable into Ben's shoulder.

"I didn't understand that," Ben said, gently turning Little Joe's head out so he could speak more clearly.

"Well, I don't really want to say, but I think I gave it to Jesus, Pa."

This answer electrified Ben. He remained very still and calm as he gently said, "Joseph? Don't worry about explaining anything. Don't worry about Mama, or my questions. I'm just going to sit here and hold you, while you tell me this whole story your own way, all right?"

Little Joe nodded, as he gave Ben a last strong hug, and turned around to lean his back against Pa's chest, straddling his right leg, as Pa's strong arms held him in a hug.

"Well, Pa, I have a friend at school, Scotty Tucker. Remember him? You've seen him at church, sometimes you let us sit together if we're quiet?"

"Yes, I remember," Ben answered, recalling a rather scruffy lad, but with good manners, that he'd seen at church a few times. He didn't remember the boy's parents at all.

"Well, Scotty lost his ma last spring, and his pa is a prospector and worked at the Comstock mines until he broke his arm some weeks ago. His pa makes Scotty go to school, but they're really hard up right now, with his pa out of work and hardly able to pan at all."

"I see," Ben encouraged, knowing that panning for gold, if you have a good spot on a river with good current, some big boulders or a bend, and you're determined... can yield a steady, if meager, supply of gold dust. But the freezing temperatures and iced riverbanks made panning almost impossible right now.

"Well, Pa... remember Pastor Fletcher preaching last week about... I think it was Matthew 25, where Jesus talked about when you visit folks in jail, or feed someone hungry, or give a drink to someone thirsty, visit someone sick, or clothe someone needy... you do that for Jesus Himself?"

"Yes, I remember..." Ben answered, nodding as he began to see where this might be going.

"Well," Little Joe took a deep breath before plunging on to his conclusion, "Scotty's been coming to school wearing nothing heavier than an extra flannel shirt for a jacket. And that's just not enough, Pa! He has to walk too far for that. And he and his pa have only been eating beans, once a day for supper, 'cause that's all they have 'cause some of the other miners stop by each week to give 'em some beans and fatback to help 'em get by.

"So... for the past couple weeks, I've asked Hop Sing to pack some extra food for me at lunch, and Scotty eats some, then takes the rest home to share with his pa. And I skip one of my recesses, and stay inside, so Scotty can use my jacket to go out for one of his. At lunch, I come in after I eat, and hand him my pail and jacket so he can go out for lunch, 'cause we're not allowed to eat in the classroom. And that was going fine... 'til today."

"So what happened today?" Ben asked, as his throat became a bit husky, and his eyes started to water just a bit.

"Well, Scotty came in and he looked really awful and tired. I asked him about it and he tried to ignore me, but I wouldn't let him. Turns out, he can't keep up with the firewood they need, and their little shack is dreadfully cold at night, even though they sleep with their clothes on and huddle together to stay warm. That's when I couldn't stand it anymore. When we got ready to come home, I just put my jacket on him and told him he was gonna take it. He didn't want to, 'cause he felt like it was one thing for us to share it, but he wasn't gonna take 'charity' or take it away from me. I... I'm sorry, Pa... I did a wrong thing..."

"How's that, son?" Ben smiled, doubting it was very wrong.

"I told him he was gonna take it, or I was gonna thump him, and I raised my fist. I'm bigger than him, and he's so tired he knew I could thump him good, so he thought about it. Then I told him about Preacher Fletcher's sermon, and said he needed to take the jacket, 'cause since he really needed it, and I have other jackets, it'd be me giving it to Jesus. It wouldn't be right for him to stand between me and Jesus, would it? So he took the jacket... Um... don't tell anybody, Pa, but he cried and hugged me. He said he and his pa would use it tonight and maybe get some sleep with that over them."

Ben was grateful that his boy could not see the tears that began to roll down his cheeks.

"So... I don't know where they live, exactly, so I couldn't say where the jacket is, but I know... I'm absolutely sure... that it's where Jesus wants it to be, 'cause I gave it to Him. So, Pa?..." Joseph said, as he wiggled to get free and stand up, as Ben released him.

Joe stood up square in front of Ben and looked at him eye to eye, as his Pa still sat on his bed. "Pa? If I did wrong, I'm really sorry. But I think I did everything you and Mama told me. I took good care of the jacket, and I wasn't careless, and I didn't 'lose' it. But I did give it away, 'cause Scotty was near enough 'naked' in this freezing cold as I think Jesus was talking about, and he needed that jacket, when I only wanted it. Those aren't the same, Pa. So if I did wrong, I'm sorry and I'll take my punishment, but it didn't feel wrong. It still doesn't. It felt right, and it felt like what you and Mama would want me to do.

"Did I do wrong, Pa? Or was it right?" Little Joe said in a worried voice, not sure why Pa's face showed tears.

Ben smiled his broadest smile, as he grabbed Joe in a massive "Pa hug" only he could do, saying, "Oh, my dear and blessed son, you did right! You did more than right, and I'm so very proud of you I hardly know what to say. Thank you, Joseph. Thank you for having the wonderful caring heart you do, and having eyes to see needs around you, even when we grownups may be too busy to see what's right in front of us. I'm so sorry I was angry with you, will you please forgive me?" Ben concluded, as he released his son to stand before him again.

Joe was absolutely stunned. He didn't remember Pa ever apologizing to him, or any of the boys. Pa just didn't DO that, even when they felt he wasn't always fair. He might rethink something, with a bit of a meditative growl... but he never said he was sorry.

"Sure, Pa! I know you were just mad because you thought I sassed Ma, or that I was careless. I forgive you. And... and..." Joe looked down at his toes as he said, "And you forgive me for raising my fist to Scotty? I don't think he was gonna take it til I 'got his attention' that way."

Ben struggled not to laugh as he said with a touch of stern in his voice, "Well, son, it's not good to threaten someone, especially if they're smaller than you. If you had hit him, that would have been quite wrong. So, let's just say, you're forgiven for raising your hand to him, but let's not repeat that, eh?"

"OK, Pa," Joseph said brightly. "So everything's OK now? We all forgiven?"

"Oh, more than OK, son. You've taught me a lesson I'll never forget, and I thank you for it. Now!" he said, rising to his feet and reaching his hand out to take Joseph's hand, "Let's you and me head downstairs, get you some cookies and milk, and explain things to your Maman!"

"OK, Pa!"

Together, they left for downstairs, as Ben called the entire family into the Great Room, including Hop Sing... to hear Little Joe tell his tale as he got to sit at the coffee table, sharing cookies with the boys as they drank their glasses of milk.

Marie quietly sat smiling as she wept, so proud of their little boy, as the Twins sat more or less quietly on their play blanket, happily mumbling through their cookies slowly distributing the crumbs across their cheeks. She nodded at strategic points in Joe's story, affirming that he had made right choices along the way.

When he finished, Ben confirmed with Adam and Hoss that the winter had been hard on a number of local families and their children. He had been so busy dealing with the Ponderosa, he'd failed to notice the impact on the larger community. He said nothing about all this while Little Joe held the spotlight, but resolved to take up the topic later that night at the dinner table.

When Joseph finished his recitation, Marie rose from her chair to come pick him up in her arms - which, as he was growing, she seldom did any more - and gave him her biggest hug!

"My delightful boy," she began, "Thank you for handling your jacket the way you did. You are absolutely right, you did right, not wrong, and I am sorry I did not give you a chance to explain when you got home. I was not right to be angry and jump to conclusions the way I did, and I'm very sorry."

Again, Little Joe was a bit disconcerted by the apology and just hugged her neck as he said, "That's OK, Mama. I forget stuff all the time. I understood."

"Well!" Ben began, rising from his chair as supper was about to be served, cookies notwithstanding, "let's go sit down and eat, and together, perhaps we can put together a plan, eh?" as he led the way to the Dining Table.

A/N: I enjoy the Bonanza universe, and hope you like some of these short sniglets that bounce past my mental movie screen from time to time. Please feel free to comment and/or review. Thanks for reading, hopefully enjoying! Grace to you, Gentle Reader! - Mort