A/N: Hi guys! So I know I just took a month long hiatus without warning you, but I have a lovely Christmas gift for you this December. I did NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) through the month of November, and used it to finish Odyssey. Yup. It's all written (sans the epilogue. I need to do some research to make sure I properly tie this into the anime). That means I can update every Friday from here until it's over!
I didn't update as I was writing because I didn't have time to both word vomit and edit the blasted thing. That means the chapter divisions could change as I revise it, but as of right now there are 31 chapters in total. So 8 chapters after this one.
So! Because I took such a long break and have so much writing done, I was thinking of offering a nice little bonus/incentive. If I get, oh, say, 10 reviews, I'll post another chapter on Tuesday as well as provide next Friday's update.
Happy Reading!
Ch. 22 – Yoma Masophat
The cold dunking shocked Zoro and Helena back to their senses. Fortunately, the water here wasn't too deep, so Helena got to her feet, holding the sopping fox out in front of her by the nape.
"What in Hades-?!" she exclaimed. "Zoro, how'd you get turned into a fox again? Wait, nevermind. It was Circe, right? – Oh, but you're bleeding! Are you ok?! Holy Zeus, you're missing an eye! Wait…you were…always missing an eye, weren't you? I mean, what happened to it anyway? Nevermind that now, is Kuina safe?"
Zoro stared at her with a bemused kind of patience as she barraged him with questions. When she finally paused with the last one, he nodded at her, and she sighed with relief.
"Come on, you're just in time for the fun," she told him, draping Zoro across her shoulders like a bloodstained, bedraggled fox-fur.
"'Elena! Get out of there!" Calypso called to her suddenly.
Zoro hadn't had time to notice much during his flyby, but he caught sight of Regent looming over them now. He had way more heads than before. A few of the center ones had opened their mouths wide; their gullets had started to glow with an eerie purple light.
More fireballs? Zoro thought. In that case, he and Helena would probably be safer under the water. He took in a gulp of breath in anticipation.
To his surprise, though, Helena scrambled toward the stonework of the docks. She wouldn't make it in time, whatever she was trying to accomplish. Just as she grabbed hold of the cobbled stone wall, a trice of frigid purple beams struck the water.
Ice crystals spread across the ocean surface, turning the waves into jagged ice sculptures. Since when could Regent do that?
It took a lot to freeze seawater. Zoro had only seen it done once before, when Akoji had frozen a path across the ocean to help a bunch of shipwrecked civilians escape a deserted island. Robin had been frozen in a fight to follow, and nearly died. Heck, he remembered his own arm getting struck by the Admiral's powers. He'd risked losing it to frostbite. Helena would be in big trouble if Regent trapped her, even only partway, in the ice.
Fortunately she just managed to hoist herself free of the water, with help from Calypso. He caught hold of Helena's climbing hand, yanking her to the safety of the stone street above.
"That was close," Helena gasped, her breath showing in little clouds. She turned to look out across the harbor as the ice continued to spread. Regent trapped a few of his own men in the ocean, particularly any who had come close enough to the shore to wade. But he'd also extended the platform Hector had made, making a jagged path for the rest of the marines to follow, speeding their invasion.
"Hades' Band-Aid," Helena spat.
Zoro and Calypso both stared at her incredulously.
"Was that a curse, mon?" Calypso asked.
"What happened to a good ol' Hell or Damn?" Zoro yipped.
"Shut up, you guys," she snapped. "How are a Queen, a fox, and an obnoxious blowhard supposed to take on the entire navy?"
"Hear that? You're an obnoxious blowhard," Zoro chortled. "The Queen said it, so it must be true."
"Your Majesty, you appear to have a dead rat hanging around your neck," Calypso retorted. Though he obviously couldn't understand what Zoro was saying, he got the gist. "Allow me to dispose of it for you, mon. It's probably diseased."
Zoro jumped upright to stand on one of Helena's shoulders and snapped his teeth at him, growling.
Helena might have rolled her eyes, but Regent was on top of them again. Calypso jumped one way and she and Zoro went the other, dodging teeth and beams of light.
"He's not particularly coordinated," Helena observed to Zoro when they'd gotten out of range.
"Who, Short Stuff over there?" Zoro asked, though the person he was mocking actually dodged through the swaying forest of necks and heads with obvious grace and skill.
"Regent," Helena clarified as though reading his mind. "Look, he just froze three of his own heads!"
"I see what you mean," Zoro replied. He noticed that Regent had also bitten himself by mistake. And caught one of his necks in a fireball. "He must be a glutton for punishment."
An earsplitting crash drew their attention away from the hydra. They only caught sight of the aftermath; an enormous cloud of dust. An equally enormous slash had clearly smashed into the ground in front of the walls just seconds before.
"Oh no, he doesn't," Helena growled. "He knows he can't take down the sea prism walls, so he's going to try and topple them from the foundation."
"Who?" Zoro asked with interest.
Helena didn't answer except to tell him to hold on tight. She dashed toward the navy with a blade in each hand, shouting a war cry in a language he didn't understand.
"Eleleu!"
"Are you seriously going to rush the navy alone?" Zoro asked. "Helena, I love you, but you're definitely outmatched…"
The war cry did something to raise her spirits and adrenaline; he could feel the waves of haki pulsating from her again, but they weren't nearly as powerful as when Kuina had been in danger. It wasn't enough to knock anyone out, but it did make the charging marines pause to stare at her. A few even took a step back in alarm.
Helena leapt atop a pile of rubble, baring her sea prism dagger.
"Where are you, Yoma?!" she cried, eyes blazing.
At that precise moment, one of the big gates in the walls leading to Ilium proper opened wide. Helena didn't bother to look behind her at it; just smirked in satisfaction.
"It's about time, Agamemnon," she murmured with a grin.
Zoro looked at the walls and felt a wave of relief. So Helena wasn't planning on fighting the Navy alone. He thought all of her men had been turned to cows, but it appeared she had reserves.
Zoro cocked his head at her in confusion. Why hadn't she pulled these fellows out of her pocket sooner?
"Agamemnon employs his own security detail," she explained, noticing his bewilderment. "It's a rather big detail. They protect not just him, but his property. The mines. He can always be counted on to come to Ilium's aid, especially if the harbor is threatened."
The small army standing at the gates didn't wear the uniforms of Ilium's soldiers. They had the insignia of a diamond and a pick; symbol of the sea prism miners. At the fore stood a beefy man; a fighter who had probably been strong once but had let himself go. He wore armor plated in pure gold and glittering with diamonds.
Yes, he had a taste for the finer things in life. – something Nami had availed herself of when she'd been here. Even at war, he chose to pull a sword from a ruby-topped cane rather than using something more battle worthy. This he lifted, shouting out the same war cry his Queen had called out seconds before:
"Eleleu!"
Helena returned the call. "Eleleu!" cried she, raising her dagger. "Hear us, Alala! Daughter of Eres! Prelude of the spears! You to whom men fall as offerings for their homeland in death's holy sacrifice. Give us victory! Eleleu!"
Agamemnon's men pounded their spears on their round, brass shields as the rest took up the call. Though they were only a fraction of the size of the invading navy, their enemies took another step back in alarm.
Yoma apparently wasn't intimidated. Helena barely managed to keep her feet attached to her ankles as another giant, horizontal slash crashed through her pile of rubble. She jumped over it in the nick of time, and hit the ground running.
Yoma turned his attack to the walls again, only more specifically he focused his energy on Agamemnon and his men. They survived only because his aim was a hair short.
"Coward! You hide behind borrowed powers!" Helena raged. "I am Queen Helena de Zoro of the Line of Prometheus! The ancient walls of Ilium will not be felled on my watch!"
She dashed right into the crowd of marines, cutting a swath through them with practiced ease. She was running straight toward where the big slash had originated from, but it was hard to pick out the perpetrator.
"FACE ME, YOMA MASOPHAT!" Helena spat.
"YO, WHATCHU CALL MY MAMA?" a man in a captain's coat shouted in response.
"Seriously. First the weird swear, and now you can't even think of a good insult?" Zoro snickered. "You're off your game today, Ohimesama."
Helena flicked his nose for his petulant tone, and raised a brow at the captain incredulously. One of his underlings tapped him on the epaulet:
"Uh, sir. I think she was just calling you by name."
"Yo, you're right! Sorry 'bout that, aiight?" Yoma rapped. "Challenging me to a fight is a bit green. You really the Queen?"
The man wore more bling than even Agamemnon, which was saying something. Huge golden chains looped his neck and shoulders. Enough Gem-laden rings glittered on his perfectly normal sized fingers that they looked stubby. A gleaming berry sign as big as a dinner plate graced his caved chest. He wore his white uniform pants big and baggy, so that they hung around his knees, showing off a pair of berry-sign patterned boxers.
He looked rather sloppy, all told. But his captain's coat billowed, pristine and white, behind him. He had a gold plated yo-yo in hand, which he dipped lazily up and down as he eyed Helena through a pair of completely unnecessary albeit fashionable neon-rimmed sunglasses.
"You've caused a lot of trouble for me. Something I intend to put an end to now," Helena informed him, raising her dagger close to her face. "You're a lot less intimidating up close, though. Were you aware that your pants have fallen down?"
"Says the woman in a bedsheet," he snickered. "Don't dish what you can't meet! My fashion is a feat so complete it'll spell out your defeat."
"Word." Zoro put in, impressed despite himself.
Helena turned a pensive glare at her foxified husband, and he could see the wheels turning inside her head. He couldn't help a chuckle when a smirk spread across her face:
"Don't be ridiculous! You are a total mess. It's not like you can move with all those chains upon your chest," Helena rapped back. "They say that captain is your ranking, but you'll get a total shanking with your backside half exposed, you're wide open for a spanking."
"Oooo!" Yoma's underlings goaded him competitively.
"You wanna fight me with words? Don't be so absurd. I can chime in with rhymes so sublime it's a crime," Yoma said. "You think you can spar with the star? Just who do you think you are? You may be a queen, but your rapping is subpar."
"Ouch," Calypso put in, appearing suddenly by her side. "Don't tell me you're just going to take that, mon."
"Try to invade my land? I have to take a stand. With word or blade, in sun or shade, I'll kick your can, man," Helena went on. Zoro started beatboxing from her shoulder for good measure. Not to be outdone, Calypso pulled a drum seemingly out of nowhere and started a counter beat. "You're all talk and no game, and your power is so lame. You steal your moves, it only proves, that you're just more of the same. Like your rhymes, you're unoriginal. Unprintable on principle. So bring it on, you navy dog, these swords make me invincible."
"Ow ow!" Zoro howled, punching a paw into the air.
Yoma stared at her with his mouth dropped open while his underlings cheered her despite themselves. Calypso and Zoro actually exchanged a fist-to-paw bump, temporarily united in Helena's triumph.
"Yo, your fox can beat box."
"Yes. Apparently he can," Helena observed. "He has many hidden talents." She raised a brow pointedly at Calypso, "Especially when we're alone together."
Calypso rolled his eyes, while Zoro stuck his tongue out at him.
"Where'd that drum come from, anyway?" Helena asked.
"A musician never reveals his secrets," Calypso replied with a wink.
"Use your heads! He pulled it from his dreads!" Yoma pointed out. "That was tight! It's too bad you gonna lose this fight! "
Zoro felt Helena tense, widening her posture in preparation for the coming attack. Just in time too. Yoma did something to the yo-yo – squeezed it or something – because it started to glow. He whipped it toward Helena, sending the now familiar slash flying from the spinning toy. The Queen ducked just in time to prevent her own decapitation.
Regent didn't. Helena shot a glare at Calypso as the dragon behind him lost even more heads:
"Did you have to lead him over here?" she snapped. "Like we really need him to become even more powerful."
"I thought you might want my help," Calypso said. "You did just charge an invading Navy by yourself, mon."
"Not by myself, Zoro's with me," Helena pointed out.
Zoro chuffed. A lot of good he could do her right now. All the same, he appreciated the thought.
As they spoke, Agamemnon's men had charged their way through the ruins of Mycenae. Some stopped with their spears bravely pointed toward Regent while the rest leapt into the fray.
Up close, Zoro could see that not all of them wore uniforms or carried spears. A few were civilians, sword-bearers, who'd apparently answered Agamemnon's call to arms. There weren't nearly enough.
"Listen, if you want to help, I need you track down Circe," Helena told Calypso sincerely. "I need my men back to normal so we can repel these invaders."
"Perona will probably take care of her," Zoro tried to inform her. Then again, maybe it was a good thing she couldn't understand him. They were better off without Calypso anyway.
As Calypso hesitated, Helena dodged another flying yo-yo slash from Yoma, facing her foe with all four swords at the ready. Even as they spoke, more marines flooded the wrecked town.
"Hurry!" she pleaded. "Agamemnon and I can only hold them back for so long."
"I'll do my best mon," Calyspo promised.
Zoro hesitated a moment, but then jumped from Helena's shoulder to Calypso's.
"Stay away from me, rat," Calypso insisted, but Zoro smacked him in the face with his paw, then pointed toward the palace.
"What? You think she's up there?" Calypso asked.
Zoro nodded. After all, Circe had to be looking for her daughter, and that's where they'd been headed when last they left her. It was the best lead they had.
"Fine, but this doesn't mean I like you. Even if you can drop a sick beat, mon," Calypso pouted.
"Don't worry. Nothing you could do could possibly make me hate you less," Zoro replied, saluting him and standing on his hindlegs. He did a backflip away from him to land on Helena's shoulder as she battled, and the two rivals parted ways.
Mounted on a grey dappled stallion, Circe surveyed the palace with a calculating look.
"Where'd yeh run off to, Nausicaa, darlin'?" she murmured to herself.
The horse looked up at her as though wondering if she had been talking to it. Well, he wasn't really an "it." Circe had transformed a certain, beleaguered marine from goose to horse to suit her needs.
"Keep your eye on the prize, Bruce," she told him, kicking his sides rather unnecessarily. The intelligent horse, but perhaps not so intelligent marine, could do his mistress' bidding without more than verbal prompting. But then, he had caused all of her problems in the first place, so she had every right to take out her frustrations on him.
He galloped up the palace steps but then stopped short in surprise. A girl with pink pigtails and a shepherdess costume floated in their path, wobbling back and forth midair as she giggled:
"Holo holo holo, hic! Holo holo holo, hic!"
"Tarnation!" Circe cussed. "Not you again."
The ghostly apparition lifted a hand, wiggling her fingers in a condescending 'hello.' "You hic foxified Zoro again. Hic! I shouldn'ta let you off so easy last time! Hic!"
"Come on, Brucey. She's just a ghost. Ride through her!"
Bruce tried to shoot her an incredulous look, but his eyes were stuck on the sides of his head, the idiot. Anyway, he had no choice but to plow forward as Circe dug her spurred heels into his side. "Giddyup ya good-fer-nuthin' glue factory!"
Circe was actually a little relieved to note that her theory was correct. Well, she had known the ghost girl to be incorporeal, but she wasn't quite sure if riding through her would turn her negative like those hollow things she could throw at people.
Speaking of the hollows…
"You know you hic can't escape from me you hic hick! Hic!" Perona cried. "Negative hollow!"
She shot a bunch of sheep-ghosts after the captain and her horse. Her aim was terrible. The hollow-ghost-sheep appeared to be an extension of her, because they also currently had their mistress' lack of coordination.
Wait a cotton-pickin' minute, Circe thought as Bruce kicked open the door of the palace, wisely fleeing the ghost sheep with all his might. She's wearin' a costume now. Like a costume fer the festival that's been goin' on round these here parts. An' she's drunk! She ain't a real ghost! She's probably got some kinda devil fruit!
Fortunately for Circe, the wide halls of the palace offered ample space for her and Bruce to gallop around in. Soon they lost the ghost girl and her spritely sheep, though they could still hear her distinctive laughter in the distance:
"Holo holo holo, hic! Holo holo holo, hic!"
"Alright, Brucey-Goosey, I think I have an idea," Circe informed him, pulling him up short. He panted, his eyes open wide with fear, whether of the ghosts or of his Captain, it was hard to say.
"Ol' McCirce had a farm, ee-ai-ee-ai-oh," she sang, dismounting. "And on that farm she had a bloodhound! Ee-ai-ee-ai-oh!"
Bruce glowed gold as his long face and limbs shrank. The hooves turned to paws. His muzzle became a highly effective nose.
"Now listen close, idjit. I don't wanna hafta repeat myself," Circe started, "I want ye to sniff out…"
But before she finished, something poked her in the behind. She jumped to her feet, whipping around with her revolver at the ready.
"Well, boy howdy. I guess I shouldna thought the palace would be unguarded," she cried.
"No, you 'shouldna'" replied a man with a flop of pretty hair. He headed a small battalion of palace soldiers, some carrying spears, some axes. It was a spear that had poked her in the backside as the men formed ranks, blocking the hallway.
"Look, I don't want no trouble," Circe said, raising her hands above her head. "I surrender. Take me pris'ner."
"Paris, what are you orders?" the man who had speared her asked the pretty-boy in charge. Was it her imagination, or did this Paris fella have a quiver of swords on his back.
"Last I heard, we aren't taking any prisoners," Paris replied, drawing a sword from his quiver and putting it to his bow. He pointed it straight at Circe's face: "Not today. Take care of her! And her little dog too!"
But Circe wasn't a navy captain for nothing. It would have been easier to trap him if he or one of his men had tried to cuff her, but despite her squat frame she was surprisingly spry. She dodged the sword he fired at her, singing all the way:
"Ol' McCirce had a farm, ee-ai-ee-ai-oh," she crowed, "And on that farm she had a mouse! Ee-ai-ee-ai-oh!" She got close enough fast enough to slap Paris across the face. He glowed gold and immediately started to shrink as whiskers sprouted from his nose. Soon he was nothing more than a tiny, chestnut colored rodent. And he wasn't the only one.
"With a mousey-mouse here and a mousey-mouse there," Circe sang, slapping another soldier as she went, "Here a mouse, there a mouse, everywhere a mousey-mouse!"
Unfortunately for her, she was horribly out numbered. One of Paris' men, a soldier wearing gauntlets, managed to capture her arms behind her back.
"Who's got sea prism cuffs?" he demanded as Circe struggled.
"Paris did," another man replied, "But it looks like they shrank into his fur or something."
The soldier holding her swore and tightened his grip on her. "We'll have to take her to one of the sea prism cells then," he said.
At that moment, a certain sound Circe had been dreading finally caught up with her. The drunken, ghoulish laughter of the ghost girl:
"Holo holo holo, hic! Holo holo holo, hic!"
She floated lazily through the wall of the hallway, her sheepish entourage wobbling after her like puffs of train smoke.
"Found you!" she sing-songed when she caught sight of Circe. "You can't escape me, hic! Negative Hollow!"
Grinning with devilish delight, she pointed her shepherd's crook at Circe's grimacing face. Her ghostly flock shot toward their prey, giggling an echo to their master. The marine captain shut her eyes in anticipation for the feeling of despair seconds away from overwhelming her.
It never came. Circe dared to lift an eyelid, realizing simultaneously that her arms had come free and that she held them defensively in front of her face as though to stop the ghostly onslaught. She looked around her to find the palace guards all on their knees, groaning with dejection.
"HA!" Circe laughed, pointing at the shepherdess in derision. "You should work on yer aim, pard! You couldn't hit a fish in a barrel!" She fired her revolver in the ghost's direction, shooting her through the forehead. Not that it would do any damage, but it did show off her superior aim.
"Huh?" The ghost went cross-eyed as the hole in her forehead faded. "Don't worry, Overalls. Hic! I'll get you this time!"
Circe quickly put her power to work on the rest of the guards, dodging every ghost the ghost girl shot at her. It wasn't really all that difficult considering how drunk she, and consequently her ghosts, were.
"Now, to find my daughter," Circe said, grabbing Bruce the Bloodhound by the scruff. "Sniff her out, Brucey! Ignore the ghost; she can't hurt yeh."
She tossed him down the hallway, scattering mice as he landed, scrambling to his feet. The dogged marine took off; whether he actually had a scent or he was just really eager to get away from the ghosts, it was hard to say. Circe followed behind, puffing a bit as she hauled her own matronly frame through the long hallways.
The ghost girl was never far behind. Suddenly Bruce pulled up short at door, sniffing and scratching.
"Found 'er already, eh?" Circe asked, pushing the door open. The smell of spirits hit her hard in the face, and she clapped a hand over her nose. "What's that Nausicaa been up to?"
She looked over the room, recognizing pretty quickly that it was some kind of palace guest room complete with bed, dresser, nightstand, the usual. She didn't see her daughter.
"Bruce, yeh blazin' idiot!" she screeched, aiming a kick at his ribs that he only barely managed to dodge. "She ain't here!"
Bruce whimpered, and pointed a quivering paw toward the bed. Circe's jaw dropped when she realized the bed was occupied; not with her daughter, but with an unconscious and highly familiar, ruffle clad shepherdess.
"Found yeh!" she crowed, just as the ghost girl passed through the wall. "So yer some kinda astral projection. What would happen if…?"
She reached a hand toward the bed and its sleeping occupant, singing her usual song.
"Wait! Hic! What are you doing?" the ghost girl cried in horror. "Don't you touch me! Hic! Get her, my hollows!"
But her ghosts missed Circe by a few feet, allowing her to finish her spell:
"…on that farm she had a Pig!"
The ghost girl squealed, her ectoplasmic form wavering like a fragile candle flame as she was sucked swiftly back into her rapidly transforming body. Soon the squeal turned to something far more porcine as the pink of her pig tails spread across her pale body. Her long, spindly, ruffle-clad limbs shrank into hooved stubs, her neck disappeared, her bangs turned into a protruding forehead.
Soon the cute shepherdess had been replaced by a large, decidedly not-cute swine, complete with a curly-whirly, piggly-wiggly tail.
Yoma was fast. Dangerously fast, Zoro noticed from his perch on Helena's shoulder. This close he could see how the yo-yo worked, too. Before it struck anything it would turn into an enormous, horizontal slash that could carry on for over a mile it seemed – just how long was that string? Anyway, because the yo-yo didn't remain a yo-yo, Helena couldn't block it.
She really had her work cut out for her. Or at least, at first glance, that's how it seemed.
Despite the yo-yo's power, Yoma had yet to put a scratch on her. And not for lack of effort, either. The baggy-pantsed swankster had sweat running into his eyes as he slung his yo-yo at her again and again, tearing up anything and anyone that happened to be behind her. Fortunately everyone with half a brain had cleared the area by now.
"Yo yo! You can't beat the yo-yo yo-yo fruit, yo!" Yoma called in frustration, lashing out yet again. "You may as well give up! You've got nowhere to go!"
"You think you can corner me? How idiotic can you be?" Helena replied, grinning as she turned a graceful flip over his latest attack. Every dodge brought her closer to her target. "I revel in taking down a disheveled devil of your level."
Fortunately Zoro was starting to get used to being stuck as a fox, and he'd gained back some of his own poise. He managed to stay on Helena's shoulder despite her impressive acrobatics. That meant he was close enough to see the alarm in Yoma's face when Helena finally closed the distance between them.
He tried to lash out at her with his yo-yo – this close, a hit like that would surely kill her. She was near enough that she was able to block it with Peleus before it transformed into Calypso's giant slash, though. Without missing a beat, she knifed Yoma with her sea-prism dagger.
It was actually no more than a graze; despite his ridiculously baggy pants, Captain Yoma actually managed to stumble backwards just enough to avoid a fatal slash.
Helena grinned at him over her red-stained dagger, but the grin faded as a grinding sound nabbed her attention. She looked down at Peleus to see that it still blocked Yoma's yo-yo, which continued to spin magically as though of its own volition.
"Wait, but the sea prism! That should have…!" Helena exclaimed.
Yoma recovered from the knifing enough to pull the yo-yo back into his hand. "Run into a hitch, you cocky…?" he started, but Zoro snapped at him.
Battle banter was all very well, but he wasn't going to stand for that kind of language toward his wife. He hadn't been quite close enough to sink his fangs into the jerk, but he growled at Yoma, showing all his teeth.
"I was going to say 'witch'," the captain sneered at him. "Don't be so rude, prude!" He whipped his weapon out again, only he wasn't trying to hit Helena this time. He'd aimed his yo-yo at the creature on her shoulder.
Helena gasped in surprise. She quickly turned to put Zoro out of harm's way, but lifted her sword to block the yo-yo just a split second too late. It slammed into her side, smashing her into the ground.
Zoro leapt off of her shoulder, certain that a blow like that should have killed her. She lay akimbo, face down in the dirt. Her toga was speckled in blood.
"What were you thinking?" he snapped at her, "You don't have to put yourself in danger to protect me, idiot!"
"You think you're so smart? I'll take you apart!" Yoma goaded. He hit her again. She skidded a few feet more and didn't move.
"BACK OFF!" Zoro snarled, putting himself between Yoma and Helena before he could go for a third blow. "COWARD! I'LL TEAR YOU APART!"
Before Zoro could do something incredibly stupid, he heard Helena chuckle behind him.
"Zoro, Honey, you should know better than to try and take my fight," she told him, and he whipped around to see her pushing herself upright. "Just sit back and watch your woman work."
Zoro and Yoma both stared at her in shock. Not only had she managed to take a hit from Yoma's powerful yo-yo without dying, she got to her feet with her swords at the ready, practically uninjured but for a pair of minor cuts at her side.
"Don't look so shocked," she smirked to the captain. "I'm still not sure how slashing you with my dagger didn't cut off your power, devil, but you used your yo-yo to block my sword. It can only hold one attack at a time, right? I'm strong, but the move you took from me wasn't as impressive as Calypso's."
"Huh, you got pluck, but don't push your luck," he said, and nodded toward a few of his cronies. They lit a cannon they had at the ready, firing it straight at their Captain. Yoma whipped out his yo-yo, striking the cannonball midair. As the momentum of the blast disappeared into the yo-yo, the cannonball fell without detonating into the street.
"Not cool, fools. More fire this time, you know the rules!"
They fired two canons at once this time. As the two balls crashed into each other, Yoma flicked his wrist, sending his golden yo-yo spinning into the explosion.
"So he absorbs energy, not necessarily attacks," Helena murmured to herself. "He took the momentum from my sea prism mortar earlier, then used that to launch it back at me. It took him a while though. Contact with the sea prism must have delayed him. That means this has to be a devil fruit! But why didn't it work this time?"
She lifted her swords just in time to shield her face from Yoma's yo-yo. The yo-yo itself didn't hit her swords; it turned into an explosion before it would have made contact, again knocking her off of her feet.
Helena pushed herself upright, grimacing through the blood and soot on her face. Zoro knew he should probably clear the field of battle so she could focus, but then she asked him a question:
"Zoro, in all of your travels have you ever seen anything like an object having a devil fruit?"
Come to think of it, he had! He gave her mental kudos for figuring it out on her own, and shot her a swift nod.
"So it's in the yo-yo," she said with a wicked grin. "Oh, but how to stab it before it turns into an explosion? I'll need to distract him somehow…"
She turned that wicked grin on Zoro. "Oh no," he growled at her, "You'd better not be thinking what I think you're thinking."
He tried to scramble away, but his stupid little legs were useless next to her long, not to mention human, arms. She nabbed him by the scruff of the neck before he could escape. Dodging another explosion, she rolled to her feet, then wound up for the pitch.
"Zoro, I choose you!" she called, throwing him hard through the air. Why'd she have to have such a good arm?
"Great," Zoro thought as he flew. "Just great. You'd think being apart from Luffy would mean I'd get a break from getting launched through the air. That's twice in less than an hour! It's gotta be some kind of record…"
Helena had impeccable timing. She'd thrown him just as Yoma made to launch his yo-yo again. While the captain dealt with a face full of fox, his yo-yo petered lamely into the ground. Helena had a perfect shot at it in yo-yo form.
She brought down her dagger hard, right through its center. It writhed almost as if it were alive, shuddering around the blade impaling it into the stone street. It started to hissed in protest like a boiler under pressure. Cracks appeared on its surface, glowing with an ocean blue light. Finally it shattered in a flurry of smoke.
"I think I killed it," Helena called triumphantly to Zoro.
"No! My yo-yo!" Yoma cried, yanking Zoro off his face. He drew back his arm, making to toss Zoro away.
"Not again!" Zoro sighed.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Helena said, walking slowly toward him. Her foot swords made ominous clinking sounds against the cobbles as she moved.
"I'd listen to the woman," Zoro advised.
Yoma's grip loosened, and Zoro jumped free. That meant that, undistracted now, the poor fool could clearly see his eminent doom in the form of the ticked off queen. She had not slowed her steady walk toward him.
"Mercy, Wait! Don't hate!" Yoma tried to plead.
"Why should I show mercy?" Helena asked him quietly, "You destroyed one of my villages."
"I let your weird pet go, yo!"
"He's not my pet," Helena said, raising Peleus and her dagger before her as she planted her feet. "He's my husband."
"Uh…" Yoma clearly didn't know what to make of this pronouncement. "Whatever you say! Just don't hurt me, bae!"
"Fate will decide if you survive, but I won't hold back," Helena told him darkly. "Chariot of Apollo!"
She swung her two swords to her side, launching herself forward so fast that she left fire trails in her wake. As his men looked on in horror, the Queen of Ilium smashed into Yoma, who crumpled as his sunglasses flew off of his face and straight into the air. He didn't get back up.
Helena had always struggled with finishing that particular move. She pranced past her prey, dancing on her tippy toes as she put out the fire in her sandals.
"Ow ow ow ow ow!"
For a moment the shocked marines did nothing, terrified of the woman who had taken out one of their more powerful leaders. Helena turned to look down at Zoro.
"Thanks for your help," she said, blowing him a kiss.
As if that would make up for throwing him! He crossed his arms and turned his snout up, the picture of indifference. – or at least, it would have been, but at that exact moment, Yoma's sunglasses tumbled through the air to land squarely on the bridge of Zoro's long nose. Instead of looking mad he just looked…like a wannabe rap star?
Helena chuckled, then got down to his level and struck a similar gangster pose beside him. Well, she was nothing if not supportive.