People have been asking what Sasuke is up to in Konoha. I imagine it goes a little something like this:
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Sasuke glared at the ninja drawing straws.
"I had him for gate duty," Hayate Gekko coughed imploringly. (Sasuke was 100% certain by now that he was faking it for sympathy.) "We had two imposters, six cases of smuggled contraband, three wounded and an Anbu patrol stop by."
"That was just your girlfriend," Aoba said, and was promptly smacked over the head by the nearest two Special Jounin. "Ouch! Sheesh, everyone knows already!"
Sasuke filed the information away, but didn't stop scowling. The Special Jounin of Konoha, he was quickly discovering, were a bunch of neurotic, superstitious people with a propensity for avoiding work.
So, exactly what he should have expected after having Kakashi for a Jounin Sensei.
He glared harder.
"No dammit!" Genma Shiranui said, biting down on his senbon and making it waggle angrily. "Not again!"
Raidou – who was actually the one that had switched the straws at the last moment and landed his friend with the shortest; Sasuke had seen him do it – patted him on the shoulder sympathetically. "Tough luck, man. But it can't be as bad as yesterday. I never want to hear an Aburame that excited about an infestation of flesh eating beetles ever again. There was giggling. It was terrible."
"I don't even want to know," Genma said flatly. "The old Orochimaru hideout we stumbled across was bad enough. I'm going to have nightmares. Do you know what it takes to give me nightmares?"
He didn't even have a Sharingan etching the memory into his brain, so he had no room to complain, in Sasuke's opinion.
"Hey, telling Anko you trashed it might get you a date, though," Raido said, encouragingly. "Or at least, she won't laugh in your face."
"You're real supportive, buddy," Genma said sourly, sticking his hands in his pocket. He slouched away from them, and the laughter.
Sasuke uncrossed his arms and pushed off the wall of the Jounin Station. "You done?" he asked, arching an eyebrow to convey how utterly unimpressed he was. As far as he could see, every patrol went to shit eventually, and their insistence that it was only the ones that Sasuke was on was ludicrous. As if that would happen.
"You're a grumpy little bad luck charm, you know that, right?" Genma asked rhetorically. "Next time I see Kakashi, I'm going to kill him."
Sasuke snorted. "Yeah, good luck with that."
"Just … we're going to have a calm, quiet day. Nothing is going to go wrong," Genma said. He made a ward sign with his left hand, just to make sure.
Ten minutes later, there was an explosion.
It wasn't, Sasuke reflected, totally his fault.